The What Might Have Been Series
by IlovetowriteSMP
Summary: Short story series.
1. Pray Thee Can Cope, Sexis

**Pray Thee Can Cope**

**Sonny and Alexis**

The emergency room is as silent as an ancient tomb. A place where no one dare to speak, for they might upset the Gods.

Her eyes sweep quickly over the grieving mother's tear stained face. She can't let them linger there.

_There, but for the grace of God, go I_.

The words dance through her closed down mind. She can't think of anything else but those words, not right now. She can't think of what this all will mean for her...for him...for all of them.

A little boy has been shot in the head. This isn't a time for plotting. That time will come soon enough. It's a blessing she can't form a coherent thought for if she could, the weight of what she now knows to be true, would steal the strength from her legs. She'd fall down on her knees and sob. But she won't. Later, later she can sob.

Not right now.

Instead she slowly moves her gaze over to the man who she used to love...not that he knows that, or will ever know that. He stands frozen in place, half hunched over, like there is a pain shooting through his gut, but she knows it isn't physical. His eyes are without life. A few moments before this man had been screaming in rage but now he's spent.

She knows she needs to go over to him but her feet can't remember how to walk. It's a skill buried in the part of her mind that she can't access right now. All she can do is keep her eyes locked on his.

_There, but for the grace of God, go I._

The words flutter around her mind. No other thoughts exist. Just her heart screaming _No_ and her head reminding it could be worse...it could be their little girl...instead of his son.

Its hard to think when you feel so much. She has excellent reasoning skills except for when it comes to dealing with one man. When he's around she always feels too much, almost more than one soul can even bear. She blames herself for not being able to control her level of feelings for him. But she never has learned how. So she just feels it all...like arrows punctuating her skin, each one hits and leaves its wound, makes its scar. Her price to pay for feeling more than was ever allowed.

She feels _way too much _adoration of someone who never was meant to be adored, yet she did. _Way too much _anger, so much she can't even breath at times. And_ way too much _hunger, it steals her breath away just the same as her rage. Till she is left breathless and confused, at times, in his presence. Pulled under the tide...drowning in the presence of all he is to her. All she can't even understand or articulate.

Alexis Davis is the smartest woman in Port Charles but her brain can't protect her heart from Sonny Corinthos.

When she hears he is in trouble, its her heart that sends her feet running out the door, heading to some police station or burning warehouse or hospital. Only when she gets there, and stands in the background of the world he has chosen to create for himself- the world he runs, does she remember that Sonny doesn't need her around for anything anymore. At least, not anything he would admit to.

She could leave right now and no one would say a word. But she won't leave. She can't. Because once she takes one step...the part of her mind that is turned off right now knows...she will start running and she'll never stop and never look back.

XXXXXXXXX

**Hours later**

They all stand outside the operating room. Each exists on their own island of anger, regret, worry, loss...Jax, Sonny, Kate, Alexis...each looking numbly at a white wall, looking for an answer that they knew years before. They should have found a way to change all this. They all saw it coming. Guilt runs circles in their minds, as Sonny and Alexis think, in unison, _We shouldn't be here. It shouldn't have ever come to this. There were so many chances wasted._

And Jax and Kate think_ I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have let myself become involved in this_.

Huddled together, Jason and Carly aren't just their own island. They are their own world. Their own universe. They could careless if Sonny, Alexis, Jax and Kate stay or leave. Don't even really care if they live or die.

But that is what Sonny expected to happen, so he doesn't get indignant over it. Let Jason take care of Carly. Sonny is too consumed with his own dark thoughts...his own falling into the blackness once more...that he can't even really be bothered to care about the hate filled look Carly gives him, the soul shaking fear that rests in Jason's eyes, that Kate gives him a broken hearted expression every time he shrugs off her attempts to touch him.

Why can't she understand? She can't comfort him. But she'll keep trying, at least for today, because it is the right thing to do. Come tomorrow Kate and her comfort, Sonny is sure, will be on the first plane back to the city. And he will be relieved when it happens. The bullet she took was nearly enough to send her running...this will be the final straw...Sonny can't be bothered to care though. It's a small thing to lose her, compared to all he had already lost...all he could lose in the next minute and the one after that. Like dominoes the pieces of his recklessly constructed world start falling. And when they all reach the ground, he knows he will be left alone.

Patrick and Robin step into the hallway.

Six heads snap up, their eyes instantly on the doctors, their mouths to dry to speak as they hear the news. "He made it through the surgery but the bullet was in a place that caused intensive damage...we'll have to run more tests but ...I feel I need to not let you get your hopes up. The odds of a patient in Michael's condition remaining consciousness again is less than one percent. His coma will more than likely be nonreversible. I'm sorry to have to tell you this."

_Sorry, sorry, sorry_. The word ricochets around Sonny's mind as his eyes move on their own accord to connect with those of his best friend...though she never knew that, and never will now. He watches as Alexis sucks in a breath, then her body shudders, her hand shoots to her mouth, as if she is trying to choke the sound of her wail...a wail that never comes but Sonny hears it all the same.

_Sorry, sorry, sorry_. The word is a taunt in his mind. Kate touches his arm and he jerks away as if her hand is fire. His feet start moving and, as he walks away, he can hear Carly sobbing and Jason whispering "Shhhhh," into her ear.

_Sorry, sorry, sorry_.

Sonny doesn't know where he's going. He has no where to go now. He has ruined them all. Ruined himself. Tried to play hero...when he was never meant to be a hero. He told himself he could pay for all his sins- the crimes, the lies, the blood, the lust- if only he could keep them safe. He made his bed of lies...of promises too twisted to keep...and now he had to live in it. Alone.

But hadn't he made that choice six years ago? For wasn't he alone anywhere if she wasn't around? He shook his head, not wanting to go there. The damage was done. To Alexis and Kristina and Molly. To Carly and Jason. To Morgan, to Mike. To himself. And most of all to Micheal. This day had been decided years and years before...when Sonny should have run...right out of his life that didn't work and right into the arms of his salvation. But he thought he could get by without her.

_Pride goeth before the fall and a haughty spirit before destruction,_ the Bible warns.

But Sonny only remembers what he learned in Sunday School now, standing in a hallway of General Hospital long after it is too late to lay down his pride and promises and empire. He thought, when he let Alexis walk out of his living room that life changing day in the past, that he lost it all. But it had been his choice. What he had to do for his family...and best for her because this life was not fit for her...she had deserved more. But it was too late, as the door closed behind her, because she was already pregnant, already trapped in his world, and they were on this course. Michael was on this course, Kristina was...even Morgan and Molly and Lila...not even conceived were on this course. This road to hell that Sonny paved.

His hands ache for a gun. One bullet and he can stop thinking, stop feeling, stop knowing what he has done and what is lost for good now. But his hands are empty.


	2. part two, pray

**Part Two**

Alexis heads to the chapel but Sonny isn't there. She curses herself for not following after him quicker. And for following after him at all. She should be at home with her daughters...explaining the unexplainable.

She searches the halls, her eyes wild, and her hands shaking. She isn't even sure what she would say to him if she did find him but she looks anyway. If she could help herself, if she could just leave and do what she has to do without letting her emotions rule her brain she would. That is who she wants to be. That strong woman who doesn't ache for anyone. But that's not who she is at all.

Right now she feels so weak, so lost, but she can't give into that. She has to find him. She'll figure out the rest later. Her brain will finally kick back into gear, she is sure, and then she can be sensible once more. Not ruled by her heart. The heart that got her into this mess. The heart that just won't stop making her give a damn about him.

She turns a corner and he is there, with his back to her. Alexis reaches out and gently touches his shoulder. His hand comes up and grips hers. She leans close to him, wanting to say something that will ease his grief, but there are no words that can do that. Instead his name falls off her lips. "Sonny."

He turns around. Like a crash of thunder his gaze hits hers. "I did this."

Alexis longs to say _No, you didn't_. Its there resting on her tongue. _No, you didn't_. But it won't come out.

She wants to _say Come home with me and see your daughter. See life. See hope. See our miracle. _But she will never say anything like that to him again. She wants to promise _Next month, next year, next decade things will be better. We'll come out the other side of this...all of us. _But they won't.

All she can do is hold onto him, so she grabs both of his hands in hers. For one minute they are anchored together. If they could stay this way...maybe...but they can't. She can't let them. She's too smart of a woman for that. And her brain will out rule her heart one more time. Even if she has to do...what she has to do...gasping for breath, she will do it.

Sonny knows it. As he looks at her, he knows. He won't ask her to believe in him another time. For he doesn't even believe the lie he can protect them anymore. His protection is worthless. And his love...not much better, in his opinion, so what is there left to say or offer?

"That day..." he chokes out under his breath "that day...you did the right thing, okay? No child should have ever been in my home...my life...my world. You had a beautiful-"

"Please, don't do this right now."

"Listen to me...hear me...I get it...you had this beautiful life...in you...our baby girl. And no matter what you thought of me...what you wanted...you did what you had to for her. Cause you saw this...you saw it coming...you knew. When I found out about Kristina...you told me...you told me! You told me her life would be in danger because of me...because of my choices. But I didn't listen. I wanted it ALL. I had to have it all. I figured I paid my dues. My mother, Lily,...two babies I never held...you. I had paid! And I wasn't giving up anything else. So I drug Kristina close to me. For me! Because I was a father and I wasn't going to lose my children. But I did, Alexis, I did...I have...you know it. Say it! Just SAY it."

She can't though. So instead her hands move to hold his face and her forehead touches his. His hands grasp at her, pulling her closer, and neither cares what patients or doctors or nurses see when they walk by. What anyone thinks. They don't even exist in that moment.

Their fragile embrace, with hands shaking and tears in their eyes, is all they have left...just a few stolen seconds that end too soon, where they both know there will be no more chances to undo what they have done. No way back to the moment where they went all wrong.

He steps back first. He hands fall to his shoulders, then his chest, clutching at his clothes desperately Her foolish heart needing just one more minute...or even a second...anything. Just don't let this be the end.

Sonny tells Alexis "Do what you have to do." Each word falls like a death sentence verdict.

He turns to walk away and she says "Just so you know, you aren't the sole one responsible. I wanted you more than I wanted to be safe. You didn't bring me into this life...I jumped in...because that's where you were. And Carly walked in with her eyes open and so did Jason and Jax and Kate...we all knew the dangers...we all knew...what the consequences could be."

Those words are the only absolution she can offer. She prays it will be enough to keep him alive. The last words he says to her before he leaves her there, rooted to the floor with all the dreams she would have swore she let go of years before now dead around her feet, tell Alexis that Sonny doesn't accept her rationalizations.

"Only a monster would do what I have done to my children."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"I wanted to tell him he wasn't a monster. Because he's not, Jax. He's a lot of things...but not that," she says, around midnight that night.

Jax just looks away.

"But he walked off while I was still grasping for the words," Alexis admits. "I wanted to tell him that he still had Kristina, Morgan, Molly, Spencer...children he can love and protect and do right by. But I couldn't! Cause he doesn't have any of that. Carly is just crazy enough to shoot him before ever letting him be in a room alone with Morgan again and Nikolas...he hasn't let Sonny ever see Spencer and I don't think he ever will."

"Can you blame him?"

"And me...I know he can't bear another loss. I know that. I know what I'm doing to him."

"You're doing what you have to do. You're an amazing mother and you couldn't do anything but this. I should have forced Carly to do the same thing...or left her. I shouldn't have been a party to sitting idly by while a twelve year old child played with guns and had buildings fall down on him. If I did something then..."

"If, Jax. Its too late for if. There is only what is."

Jax would leave her within hours, cutting the last tie to her former life. Just like when she had to stop being Natasha Davidovich, in order to survive, she would have to stop being Alexis Davis. Though, by any name, she would love the only man she ever let get inside...she couldn't love him in the midst of bullets being shot at her babies. Not anymore.

Maybe they never had a shot at all. Maybe it was a devil's bargain right from the start. To get close enough to feel it all, but not close enough to have it all. Or maybe they just said the wrong words that day, turned left when they should have went right on their road. But whatever answer was true, it didn't really matter. What could have been, what she had been subconsciously banking on from the moment they first kissed, would never be now.

Not unless Sonny left the mob and they let him leave. Both things he swore were impossible. He was trapped in that life but Alexis couldn't let Kristina and Molly be trapped too. Sam could make her own choice but Alexis had to make this one for her younger daughters. Their lives depended on her doing the one thing she could almost not bear to live through doing...leaving Sonny behind for good.

She looked over at her sleeping daughters. They were excited to be heading on a vacation. Soon she would have to find the words to tell them the truth. They could never go home again.

**THE END**


	3. Thrill Junkie, Frisco Jones

**Thrill Junkie.**

"Oh my God! Thank you so much..."She wraps her arms around my neck and when she speaks her breath is right against my ear. "You're a hero."

"No...I'm not."

Soon she's walks away, carrying her three year old son who I just pulled out of a compound filled with armed gunman who knew that a little American boy with oil company executive parents could be ransomed for a pretty penny.

_Hero._ God, do I hate that word. So many times I've heard it but its been over a decade since I believed I was anything close to that. I am a selfish man who has made my God something unholy: the chase of adrenaline. The thrill of saving the world. And for that prize I have forsaken all I swore to love and protect. My girls. My home. My country even. Though the leaders there would call me a hero. I am no more loyal to them than I am to myself.

I'm a junkie. My fix is running headfirst into the most dangerous situations on this earth. I long ago stopped caring if I came back out alive. I only fight to do that cause its part of the game. But if I were to lose, I wouldn't even care anymore.

The next time I see Robert, one of the few remaining links to who I once was, is in England. He's got to catch a flight for Thailand in a few hours. We meet in a bar and the first thing he says is "She was a lovely girl. You should be proud."

"I didn't have a thing to do with that, and you know it. Send your condolences to her father."

"She got good genes."

I can't help but smile a little. Though I know damn well that whoever my daughter became before her life was stolen from her, she became on her own merits, with her own hard work, and the support of her sister and stepfather, not because of the biological fact that I sired her, its still nice to fool myself into believing she was the amazing woman she was because of anything at all I gave her. I never used to let myself pretend like this- live in a delusion for even one split second- because that kind of carelessness could surely get me killed. But now...I find I just don't care enough to struggle against the lies my mind tries to feed me.

Maybe its because if I really sat and thought about the truth for too long, then I would have to eat my gun.

Truth number one: I didn't go to Georgie's funeral. Truth number two: I plan to never see my other daughter, Maxie, again.

I left them when they were just babies, basically. Both tiny and blonde haired and filled with love for me- because they didn't know any better. They didn't know I would be their first heartbreak.

Georgie's hair grew dark over the years, as did Maxie's mind, from what Felicia tells me. I don't look at the pictures she has tried to foist on me or think about ever hopping a plane headed for New York. I wouldn't have known what to say to Georgie at her graduation. And I sure as hell had no clue what to tell Maxie when she stood dressed in black and put her little sister in the ground. I've been worthless to those girls since they were born. They aren't my girls, like Felicia calls them. They aren't even her girls. No, they are Mac's girls. There's no doubt about that.

Because Mac isn't an addict. He won't go to the ends of the earth to get his high. If he ever was like that, he's been in recovery for twenty years now. A changed man. A family man. He could get out, even though he was trained to kill without remorse, a perfect sharp shooter, a perfect explosives expert. A cold blooded hit man. He could leave that all behind...for three little angels who needed a daddy.

"Lets have a pint, mate," Robert said. "Drink to perfection lost."

I sit down with him and let him talk about the past- Robin and Tony and BJ. About Georgie and how he was in town when she got married to Dillon Quatermaine. About Anna and Felicia and how they were just the type of women who could never leave their lifestyle behind...not for long. Even if they lost everything else because of it. It was in their blood.

Anna. Felicia. Holly. Luke. Sean Donely. Me. We've sold our souls for the game. Not for money, not for the sake of preserving liberty, not for justice, not for any noble reason or any sinful curse. Just for the thrill of it.

Its enough to make me sick now. Because its stopped being thrilling around the time I looked up and realized that all my best days were behind me, and I never lived them. I was too busy being hooked on getting my next high. But hell, what can I do about it now? Its too late to cry. Its too late to apologize. Its too late to be a man.

So I'll stay a little boy and go out and fight the bad guys some more. Till one of those bad guys finally ends me, or my heart just gets sick of the high speed 100 mile a minute ride and gives out. At this point I wouldn't even bother betting on which one it will be that happens first. It can't come soon enough for me. But I ain't the suicidal type.

Nah. I'll just take another assignment. Let the rush lift me back up for a minute or two. Feel good for a little while again. Wait it out.

Death will come for me. It came for Mac's little girl. It will get around to me in time, I'm sure.

Its early that morning, and I'm laying passed out in some hotel room bed, when my cell rings. "Yeah?"

"Flight 1178. Heathrow to Stockholm. Proceed to Storkyrhan Cathedral for first contact at eight twelve pm tomorrow night." The phone clicked off. I climbed out of bed, with a smile on my face.

Time to go get wasted again.

Truth number three: I threw my life away because I let myself believe the lie that the world needed a superhero more than I needed to be a father. But the world would have got by fine without World Security Bureau Agent Frisco Jones. And I knew that when I walked out on Georgie and Maxie. I didn't admit it then. But I knew what I was doing. I knew I was addicted...and I knew I would be till the very last second I lived.

This isn't in my blood. This is my choice. And it's the shame of knowing what I chose then, what I choose right now, and what I would choose over and over again, everyday and every time, that keeps me from every looking in the eyes of the only daughter I have left alive. Because she'd see the truth staring back at her.

Her biological father is nobody's hero. He's junkie scum.

I am not good enough to look at her or stand next to Georgie's grave. I'm only good for one thing. Chasing the lion called danger...and waiting for the day I can't slay it, and it eats me whole.

(_Welcome to the jungle.  
It gets worse here everyday.  
You learn to live like an animal in the jungle where we play._

_  
If you got a hunger for what you see_

_you'll take it eventually._

_You can have anything you want  
but you better not take it from me!_

_In the jungle,  
welcome to the jungle.  
Watch it bring you to your  
knees, knees!  
I wanna watch you bleed.  
_

_And when you're high _

_you never ever want to come down,_

_yeah._

You know where you are?  
You're in the jungle, baby.

_You're gonna die in the jungle._

_  
Welcome to the jungle.  
Watch it bring you to your  
knees, knees...) ( Guns and Roses)  
_


	4. Free Fall, Lulu and Logan break up

_Free Fall _

"Please," she moistened her lips, her voice filled with tears "please...you have to give me a chance to explain."

"I don't_ have to _give you anything." There was not a bit of softness in his eyes.

"But-!"

"You see that door over there, walk through it and walk the hell out of my life...for good this time."

When she didn't move, he grabbed her hand and started to drag her toward the door, as she screamed for him to wait, to listen, to understand, to care, to try...she always seemed to be screaming for something...though usually it was just inside her own head.

On the outside, she looked like the All American girl. Sweet. Innocent. Someone to be adored. So pretty with all that long blonde hair, so pretty in fact that no one seemed to notice all the damage resting just behind her eyes.

Or maybe they just were too tired of her now to care. Like Logan was.

Lulu couldn't blame him. He had caught her kissing Johnny in the alley behind Kelly's and if he knew everything else they had done together he would think even worse about her than he did right now. Across town, Johnny waited for her to come to him...a phone call away Spinelli was waiting, as he always waited, for her to need his shoulder...and on the other side of this country was Dillon, waiting for her to tell the truth, and behind tall walls right here in Port Charles was Milo, waiting for her to need a hero.

So why were tears streaming down her face over Logan right now? Why was she letting herself be part of this ugly, awful scene with him- as she dug in her heels and he sneered at her in disgust, then jerked his hand out of hers rather that get any more violent and forcefully toss her on her ass out the door- why didn't she just go to one of them and be who they wanted her to be? Because she loved Logan more?

If only it was that easy of an answer. If only she was that simple of a girl, still. She wanted his forgiveness, his love, his promises to be with her, for much murkier reasons. Every time anyone tried to let go of her, she fought to pull them back...not able to take another loss now after losing so much already. Her baby. Her father, in every sense that mattered. Her first love. Her mother. But when anyone, any man really, tried to hold on to Lulu, that was when she broke from them...desperate to not feel too much, to love too deep, to be secure...because it didn't feel normal anymore. Only crazy felt right. Only out of control splintering madness made sense.

She placed her hands on Logan's cheeks. "I'm sorry. So sorry. I never meant to...I didn't set out to hurt you.."

Lies. All lies.

She had known...she knew on day one...she would do nothing but bring him down. She knew it then. She knew it now. She knew the same fate awaited all the others: she felt it when she kissed Johnny and then pushed him away, when she yelled at Spinelli, who had never earned even one of the mean words she said to him, and when she told Dillon she wasn't in love with him anymore. When she was cruel to the men who made their worlds around her, she knew what she was...she just couldn't stop.

"Do you love him?"

"No! Maybe...I...I ...I don't know. I can't love him, can I? I barely know Johnny. I don't know why I did what I did...but it's the past. I forgave you for Maxie...can't you forgive me? I am...sorry, Logan, from the bottom of my heart..."

"How many times do you think you can say sorry for the same damn thing and have sorry still mean anything? Huh? How many times you gonna do this to me? How many times you think I'm gonna let you?"

She felt like she would fall off the edge if he sent her away. And she knew that if she stayed the night with him by the morning she would want to be out of his bed and somewhere else, anywhere else, feeling something less. It was all a balancing act now of secrets, of fears, of having just enough but not too much love.

It was pure insanity. A dangerous manic ride that would surely end in disaster. But as long as she stayed on it she didn't have to face what would happen when the end came. She was just in the middle now. The dark, desperate middle. And as long as she stayed there, she would be all right.

_You won't go crazy just because your mother did_, Dillon had told her.

But that was just the wishful thinking of a boy who loved her and wanted his words to be true. She was already losing her mind, losing her morals, losing her way... free falling towards that dark abyss where Laura lived now.

It was as if she was on a slide at a playground, and she couldn't get off midway down. She would end up in some hospital, someday, and there was no way to starve off that fate forever, no way she could see right now at least. All she could do was grab on tight, as tight as her little hands would let her, to whoever would allow her to use him, and pray he could keep her afloat a little longer.

His light stony eyes were locked on hers. His breathing was shallow. She pressed closer to him, till she could feel his heart beating through his chest. He said "You want him. Go to him. Stop playing this high school games. If you want me..."

"I do. I want you."

_I need something. Be that something_, she thought.

But when he was out of her sight...she knew she wouldn't be able to wait for him...she was faithful only to the aching needs inside of herself, nothing else. Not anymore.

Still, knowing all this, knowing she was a fraud and a liar and a tease, and that she did love him and hate him and want him and want to be free of him, Lulu pressed her lips to his and prayed he'd wrap his arms around her and make her feel safe again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He knew it was a pitiful shame that he even thought of giving in to her kiss. It would have been easy to open his mouth and let her tongue inside. Then rip off her shirt. Throw her on the bed. Go as fast as they could manage so neither had to think.

Logan could pretend she was still his key to salvation. Let her be the good girl to his bad boy for another night, the fallen saint who he would make rise again. Put her back up on that pedestal and hope she stayed put for once.

But he knew how this world worked. She wasn't his girl, never had been. She didn't belong to anyone, not even herself, right now.

And even though he wasn't picky, he would rather have her than face being alone, he couldn't stand to look at her anymore...look at the way she was destroying herself. It was a reflection of himself, of Maxie, of all they did last fall. It was ugly and he had thought Lulu was above this kind of self mutilation. He might not be able to stop her from jumping from man to man but he could take himself off her smorgasbord.

He pushed her away and lied "Well, I don't want a slut like you."

She sucked in a shocked breath and a fraction of a second later she slapped him.

"Ah, darling," he said as he rubbed his cheek "I would tell you that stung but...you've already made me too numb to feel a thing. Go to Johnny. Don't keep him waiting."

With those words, Logan washed his hands of Lulu, making her choice just a little bit easier.

(_Is it getting better?  
Or do you feel the same?_

_  
Will it make it easier on you now?  
You got someone to blame_)

Her eyes filled with sparks. Pain and anger looked the same of her face. So intertwined it was impossible to tell them apart anymore. "How can you be so cold?"

"I'm not your boyfriend. I don't have to be nice."

"I came here to make things right."

"You can't ever be right. And either can I." He walked over to the door and opened it. "What I can be though...is free."

(_Did I disappoint you?  
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?_

_  
You act like you never had love and you want me to go without_.)

She grabbed her purse and jacket and hurried past him, then turned around. Her eyes filled with tears, and her whole face twisted into the shape of heartbreak. But Logan couldn't be fooled. Lulu no more had the ability to love than he did...not right now...and if she didn't do something soon, maybe not ever. She used to be his only hope in the world. But she wasn't a goddess or angel or a hand to lead him out of the darkness. She was just a messed up girl who was good at conning people into thinking, for a little while when they first met her, she was not one of the broken.

Lulu Spencer didn't know what she wanted, Logan could see that now, so she took as much as she could from everyone who offered, hoping to fill up those holes that no one was supposed to see.

What was she really hoping for tonight? Not his love. For she would never believe she had it, even if she did. Not his strength or guidance, for he was weak and needy and lost himself. Probably just his arms to fall into.

(_Have you come here for forgiveness?Have you come to raise the dead?  
Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?_)

"Will you, at least, accept my apology...let us be friends, Logan?"

After all they had done to each other, tonight and all the nights before, still she begged to keep this misery going. He wanted her, badly. He wanted her to be who he had believed she was. That girl who would save him.

For he was no hero. He was not Coop. He wasn't her Daddy Luke who saved the world, or her cop brother Lucky, or her prince brother Nikolas. Logan was not gonna jump on a horse and play white knight. He had wanted Lulu to come to his rescue, make him a better man, make him a part of something bigger than his little screwed up existence.

(_Did I ask too much?  
More than a lot._

_  
You gave me nothing.  
Now it's all I got_)

Lulu went on "Even if we're over..."

"We are."

"Fine! But don't throw me out of your life. We can be friends. We're mature. We can handle it."

He smirked, nearly laughing in her face."Won't work." There was nothing funny about the situation but it was so sad, they were both so hopeless, he could have broken into hysterical laughter at the irony of it all. The one who was supposed to save him had wrecked him, and he wrecked her right back.

Through her tears she said "Please..."

He slammed the door in her face. Today he had finally figured Lulu out...she was an imposter with her angelic eyes...she was too much like him for comfort. She couldn't be his saving grace. She was using every bit of her energy trying to save herself right now.

(_We're one but we're not the same._

_  
See we  
hurt each other  
then we do it again!_

_  
You say  
Love is a temple  
Love a higher law  
Love is a temple  
Love is a higher law_

_  
You ask me to_

_enter  
but then you make me crawl_

_  
And I can't keep holding on  
to what you got  
when all you've got is_

_hurt_) ( U2)

THE END


	5. Hand on the Nines, AU, Sam and Logan

_She used to be the sweetest girl ever.  
Now she like sour ameretto_- Wyclef Jean.

**Hand on the Nine, AU**

**Part One**

Logan Hayes walked into the study of the mansion and introduced himself. Then he quickly added "I'm here to apply-"

"Not interested." She cut him down with just one look, intent to crush him as swiftly as she might a cigarette beneath the heel of one of her red pumps. It got her blood pumping to put men in their places. It was one of the few things that ever brought a smile to her lips.

When Claudia Zacchara stared a man down, he felt it to the tips of his toes. She was used to the gaurds who worked for her dropping their eyes in deference when she challenged them, but the man standing on the other side of the desk from her today just glared back- a chilling blankness in his eyes. She liked that about him. But still he wasn't someone she could use, so what small interest she had in why he was so damaged entered and left her mind within the span of a blink.

"This isn't the sort of job someone just walks in off the street and gets," she told him. "This is a family business. We promote from within and hire only those highly recommended by someone already on the payroll. Are you the brother, cousin, long lost son of any of my employees, Hogan?"

"Logan," he said in a clipped tone.

Smirking she replied. "Whatever. Answer my question before you anger me."

"No. But I'm more qualified that any of these jokers you have guarding you. I did a tour in Iraq and-"

With a dismissive tone, Claudia cut him off and said "You've wasted your time coming here today. Carlo shouldn't have let you in," her eyes briefed flicked over to the gaurd who stood near the door. He cowered, taking a step back. "Believe me, that won't happen again. No one here makes the same mistake twice. And if you don't want to fall into the category of the few foolish, reckless little boys who have dared to not heed my advice, I suggest you get out of here while the getting is still good. Shoo now. The stink coming off your unmitigated gall is starting to stink up the place."

Slamming his hands on the desk, his jaw twitching in anger, he said "Now hold up just one minute!"

Claudia jumped out of her seat and was in his face in a second. Before she could say a word though, her sister-in-law came gliding into the room. Claudia could not stand this little gold digger. In her eyes, everything the woman did was suspect, from the day she tricked Johnny into a quickee marriage five minutes after they met, to the baby she had 8 and a half months later. Claudia still wanted a third DNA test on her niece. But after she went behind John's back for the second one he had almost cut her out of their lives. She couldn't risk losing John's trust by trying for another test.

She rolled her eyes at the sight of her sister-in-law, and momentarily forgot her ire at the young punk who had been stupid enough to try and go off on her. The woman walked around here like she owned the damn place, dressed in her short like skirts and skimpy tops, making eyes at the bodygaurds behind Johnny's back. He couldn't see what she really was. But Claudia saw it. Hell, yes, she did and one day the wench who had trapped her brother was gonna go down for her conniving ways. "What do you want now? Can't you see the grown folks are conducting business? Shouldn't you be in the nursery playing pattycakes with Lola right now? You know the daughter you let the nanny raise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Usually Samantha Zacchara would give back as good as she got from Claudia but today she stood just steps inside the door, in stunned silence. Her freshly painted lips parted slightly. She sucked in a shallow breath as her and Logan looked at each other. He took a step closer to her.

"Hey," his voice was soft, in awe. A very rare smile softened his features. "Sam? Wow. Its been what? 10 years?"

Her eyes darted back and forth. For a minute their she looked like a little girl, completely innocent, but then she morphed back into the harden woman she had become over the years. She pretended to not recognize him. "Do we know each other?"

"What?" He stepped close to her and touched her arms. "Now, come on, I ain't gonna believe you forgot me, darlin."

She shivered underneath his touch. Taking a step away, Sam said, her voice brittle like ice icicles. "Believe it." She stepped around him. "I just came in to tell you that Johnny called and he wanted me to let you know that he's headed out of town for a few days."

Claudia had been watching the interaction of Logan and Sam with great interest. Now she focused back on Sam, and snapped "I really wish my brother wouldn't send messages through his little wifey. John and I run this family, not you. The only running you do is to the mall for more hair extensions."

Glaring at her, Sam thought about how her sister-in- law always underestimated her. One of these days, Sam would see to it Claudia learned some respect. She hated near everything about her time spent being brought up by Cody McCall but one thing Sam did know was some of the cruel tricks her daddy taught her could be very, very useful when deployed against the right target.

Claudia was notorious for being a cruel, heartless bitch. She wasn't the normal Mafia Princess who let their father buy her the world, and reveled in the cars, clothes, and power by proxy. No, she came up through the ranks like a man. And made her bones in the organization the day she put a bullet through the head of Frank Smith. It was her eighteenth birthday. By the time she turned thirty, her kills rivaled Jason Morgan's. They both liked to do the dirty work themselves. It left behind no loose ends for the cops to thread together.

But what made Claudia much more dangerous than the man she used to take to bed, before he went soft and got hitched to that blonde lunatic he called his wife, was that Jason would never kill the man he considered a father. No matter what Sonny did to him- he was untouchable. Claudia had sunk a bullet into Anthony's brain with a high powered rifle and then stood over his grave and cried a bucket of fake tears for her lost papa. Sam knew Claudia was the one responsible. To go against her might mean meeting the same kind of fate, but still Sam itched for the chance to really make Claudia suffer. It would feel so good...but make Johnny hate her forever. That was Sam's biggest fear. That one day Johnny would see under her facade, that he'd ripped his love away and leave her just like he met her. Alone and terrified, a con woman looking for her next mark, a cast aside piece of nothing that no one wanted to claim as their own.

Sam told Claudia "Well, Johnny trusts his wife to know his business. If you want to keep on your brother's good side...and I know you do...I suggest you treat his wife and child with the respect they deserve. Or don't you know how to be cordial to other females? Are they all too big a threat to you? Even two year old little girls?"

"I love my niece...if she is really my niece, that is. You sure she doesn't belong to one of your other five husbands?"

"Your what?!" Logan yelled.

Sam flinched but didn't turn around. "Don't let Johnny hear you talk that way. He believes your lies about loving him."

"Don't you tell me I don't love my brother! Get out of here. Go paint your nails or spend more of Johnny's money on blinging yourself out. Just get out of my sight before I lose anymore of my patience. You ruin my good mood faster that Trevors ever did, I swear."

Turning away from her, Sam wore a huge smile on her face, because she loved annoying Claudia. As she sashayed out of the room, her eyes connected with Logan's once more, but quickly darted away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Carlo opened and closed the door for Sam, leaving Logan and Claudia alone together once more.

He said "You should work on how you talk to people."

"Advice from the boy who comes here with empty hands begging for a place at the table? Please. I will handle my family my way, without help from the likes of you."

"Whatever. You do that, lady." He turned to leave.

Claudia sat back down. In a calm, controlled tone she told him "You're hired."

Spinning back around, Logan looked at her again. "Excuse me?"

"To be my faithless sister-in-law's personal bodygaurd. Seeing you got to her. Do that everyday from now on until she leaves my brother. And if you even think of telling Johnny what I just said ...you remember those dogs you passed on the way in here? Your tongue will be their lunch. Now get out of my sight."

**Note-**

**Since this story is AU, the ages of the characters are:**

**Claudia Zacchara- 30**

**Johnny Zacchara- 22**

**Logan Baldwin Hayes- 25**

**Samantha Zacchara -25**

**Lola Zacchara- 2**

**This story will be six chapters. I'm trying not to start more long fics till I finish a few I have going.**


	6. Sam and Logan, part two

**Part Two**

_She takes a loss cause _

_she don't wanna see her child lose._

_  
So respect her or pay up for the time used!_

_And then she runs to the pastor  
and he tells her there will be a new chapter.  
But she feels no different after and then she asks him… "Where the money at?"- Wyclef Jean_

Sam slid around the corner in the hallway of the mansion. She leaned against the wall and tried to calm her breathing. Logan was here. In Port Charles. In this _very house_.

She had long ago given up every dream she had about him. But that wasn't so easy to remember when he was standing right in front of her, his scent filling her nose, dragging her back to the first time they ever made love. Her first time ever. Just fifteen and still idealistic, in some small way. Even if Evelyn beat out of her most of her hope, there was still faint traces of it left that believed a man would come into her life and save her.Till the day Cody came back around and Evelyn sold Sam to the Devil for 900 bucks. Not even a grand. From that day forward, Sam knew she needed to be able to amass a big enough fortune to never be able to have the life she wanted for herself stolen from her again. Cause back then she had wanted a future with Logan more than she even wanted air or food.

Spending those two horrible years with Cody, from age 15 to 17, schooled her in finer forms of manipulation. He pimped her out. He beat her. He used her up in every way a man could a woman. But when he wasn't doing that, he treated her like a pupil. The grift was his forte and by the end it was hers too. In fact that's how she got her freedom, she conned her way into a marriage with a man much older than her, and more lethally psychotic than her father.

Luis Alcazar pledged his undying love to the woman he made his second wife. Sam called herself Mia that time. When Cody came sniffing around after four months, looking for a payout to keep quiet about who she really was, Sam had stolen from Luis and given her father the money. But Luis had cameras covering every inch of his home. He witnessed the betrayal. Cody died that same day, his bloody hand still clutching the cash he had extorted. Luis threw Sam out...telling her she was lucky she wasn't as dead as her father. The experience shook her but, as she had no where else to go or no other skills to survive, she immediately found another man to marry, this time as Kimberly. Time after time she got what she could and then, before a year was even over, left him behind for her next mark. It was a hellish existence but one she would have kept living if not for getting pregnant.

Lola changed her world. And Johnny gave her the first home she ever could feel safe, if not completely wanted, in. If Claudia wasn't around, Sam had always felt, her and Johnny would have an ideal life. He adored her, it was clear in his wide, trusting eyes every time he looked at her, and she...she cared deeply for the young man who had put his faith in her. What they had was so close to love, close enough that they could both pretend it was the real thing.

But that wouldn't last if Johnny saw Logan. Right after they were married, John found out Sam had a safe deposit box in the name of Natalia Davidovich- the name on her birth certificate before she was adopted. Inside of it were love letters from Logan, sent when they were in high school. It was the only thing Sam had from the days she lived with Evelyn. Though Johnny had never met Logan, because Sam and Logan grew up in Texas, he knew that the boy that wrote those words of love to Sam still owned a big piece of her heart. Sam had hoped they would never meet.

_How in the hell did Logan end up in Port Charles_? she wondered. After she got her breathing back to normal, Sam headed up to the nursery and checked on her daughter. The dark haired beauty giggled when Sam tickled her. "Who's mama good girl?"

"Low," said the toddler with a grin, which was how she pronounced her name.

"That's right! Lola is. You're mama's perfect angel." Kissing her head, Sam whispered "And mama will make sure nothing ever hurts you...or our life, I promise you, baby."

XXXXXXXXXX

There hadn't been many good moments in Logan's life. And the few he ever had...they all centered around Sam McCall. The girl he grew up with, both outcasts from the wrong side of the tracks. She used to wear jeans with holes in the knees back in middle school and t-shirts that blared the names of rock bands. Her long bangs always covered her eyes and she was forever blowing them out of her face. It wasn't till they were fifteen that they kissed. He'd already had two girlfriends before her, broken both their hearts too. But Sam was the one he didn't ever want to break. She had been a good friend for years and the day she let him make love to her marked the first truly amazing moment of his life.

One day they were as madly in love as any two teenagers could be, and the next she was gone. Her dad, who left the family years before, had come back to town and taken her off to live with him. Logan couldn't get an address out of Evelyn. He joined the military the day after he graduated high school. His mother had died a few months before and his best friend Cooper convinced him that it was the army or prison, because Logan didn't seem to be able to go a day without getting high, drunk and into a bar fight. He even crashed two cars in three months. Cooper had been scared to death for him. So off to Iraq both men went, a place that was just dangerous enough to make Logan feel nearly sane while he was there.

After the war, Cooper was dead set on tracking down his missing family and ended up in Port Charles. Logan had nothing else going on, so he followed. Seeing the power players in this city, he decided to get a job with one of The Five Families. The Zaccharas had been his first stop.

He left Claudia's office in the mansion and asked the butler. "You seen Sam? Hot little thing with a body that could make you go blind and a pair of gorgeous eyes that makes every guy she looks at his fool?" He smiled, just thinking about her.

"Mrs. Zacchara, you mean. She's in the private quarters. Visitors aren't allowed there. You'll have to contact her at a later date. I'll show you the door."

"Buddy-"

"The name is Zander, not buddy."

"_Zander, _I'm not a visitor. I'm her personal bodygaurd, as of five minutes ago. Don't believe me, then ask the boss lady herself. Claudy will tell you."

"Ms. Z ever hears your nickname and she'll make you eat it your teeth for breakfast," Zander said.

"Sure. Whatever. Where'd you say Sam is again? Could you point the way?"

Zander said "You're a smart guy, figure it out. But between here and there you'll run into more gaurds so you better get ready to do some quick talking or you'll be lucky if they don't shoot first and ask Ms. Z questions about your credentials later. Everyone around here is family. Known each other all our lives. Cousins, brothers, uncles, cradle to grave...that's how things roll around here. And you... I don't even have to ask who you know to know you don't anyone of us. You screwed up taking this gig. You don't belong."

"Well, I'm here. And as long as Sam lives in this house, I'm staying. I'll find her without all your useless help," Logan started to walk off but then looked back "And from now on...don't let me catch you looking at her. She's off limits."

"You should take that advice for yourself. You'll live a lot longer. But then again...losers like you who try to ingratiate themselves into this family, never last long. So I'd say your stint as _Mrs. Zacchara's personal bodyguard _is gonna be real short."

"For your sake you better hope it is," Logan said and then headed for the staircase. At the top he ran into Jagger Cates, another gaurd. This one looked like he had been a boxer in his younger years. A gun was pointed at Logan's head before he stepped off the top stair. "Hey, man! Put that down. I work here."

"Ms. Zacchara informs me whenever she hires someone new." He nodded at the radio that was strapped onto his belt. "And I haven't heard a word. Hands on the wall. Now."

Logan did as he requested. "Claudia just forgot. Call her. You'll see."

"Ms. Z don't forget. If you're legit and she didn't call, its cause she wants you to be hassled at every turn in this house." After patting him down, Jagger called down to the basement where the head of security kept his office and verified Logan's employment. He pointed him in the direction of Sam's room then said "I don't know where you came from, but be smart and go back there."

"Y'all have a real problem with outsiders, don't you?"

"There are no outsiders here. Once you are in this house, you're family or you're dead. And you don't look like family to me."

Logan walked off without saying anything more. He wandered how many enemies he could manage to make in one day. Sam's door was open, he rapped on it and walked in at the same time. It was empty. He picked up a photo of her and Johnny. They looked like a happy, rich, high society couple. The type that lived a charmed life. Seeing it sent a spew of curse words flying through Logan's mouth. He mumbled one under his breath.

_My first love, scratch that, my only love_, he thought, _is someone else's wife._

From behind him he heard Sam ask "What in the _hell_ are you doing in here?"


	7. Sam and Logan, part three

**ffPart Three**

_They got they mind on they money- money on they mind.  
They got they finger on the trigger- hand on the nines._

_See everyday they feel the struggle but staying on they grind._

_And ain't nobody taking from us and that's the bottom line- Wyclef Jean_

Claudia was at her desk, using the landline to call Milan and speak to her uncle Rudy, when a text came in on her cell phone.

_Ten minutes. Don't make me wait_.

She recognized the number well, it belonged to her ex-boyfriend Jason Morgan. Before he started working for Sonny he had been her summer fling, turned three year long hot and heavy affair. That was more than a decade in the past though. They would be married right now, and running this town the way it should be run- ruthlessly- if not for the fact that on the day they first slept together Jason had already been in love with Carly. In the end he went back to her, just like Claudia feared he always would, and took a job with the best friend of Carly's uncle- even though he knew the Corinthos family were the biggest rivals of her own family. Those duel moves were the same as if Jason had spit in Claudia's face, to her way of thinking.

With every breath she inhaled, even when she was rolling around in bed with another man, she ached for Jason. And with every breath she exhaled she once again remembered why she hated his guts.

If Jason wanted to meet with her, it was business. And if she didn't show up it would be seen as an act of disrespect to The Five Families, potentially starting a mob war. By the terms of the last truce, Claudia agreed to work with Jason to arrange safe passage of his shipments through her shipping lanes, in return for him letting her boats unload on his docks. She was already sick of having to meet with Jason weekly to work out details, since they could never leave it the same because then the cops would get hip to their routine and raid their boats.

Saying good-bye to her uncle, Claudia grabbed her purse and told Carlo. "Bring the car around. And get Zander and Niko. I have a meeting to get to. Chop, chop. Time is money! And if you cost me even one dime you'll be the sorriest unemployed man in the cemetery."

"Yes, Ms. Z. Right away, Ms. Z."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam felt her stomach knot when she walked into her bedroom and found Logan there. His back was to her, but she could tell he was holding a picture off the night stand of her and Johnny. She had no clue why Logan had been downstairs talking to Claudia but seeing him upstairs was a bad sign.

How could she hope to keep her marriage strong with him around? And she had to keep her marriage. It was the best thing that she could have ever done for Lola- giving her a loving home to grow up in where she would want for nothing with two parents that loved her more than they loved themselves or even each other. She would have killed to have that as a kid. She would kill to keep it for her little girl.

Sam asked "What in the _hell_ are you doing in here?"

Logan slowly turned around. He wore the same crooked grin she remembered from their childhood. It cut right into her heart. She had loved that smile from the day they met. She had been eight years old and it was the first day of a new school year, in their barely on the map town in Texas. Even at that age they were both bitter already. Him because his mom was always sick and his dad lived across the country. And her because all she had was an adopted mother who never let her forget she was the kid she didn't want to be stuck with. Cody had wanted a child but after a few years, he got bored with Sam and Evelyn, and ditched town, leaving mother and daughter stuck with only each other- a situation both despised fiercely.

Sam had a crush on Logan from day one, so when he dumped his girlfriend and came immediately to her house that day when they were fifteen, all she could think was that God had finally heard her prayers. He gave her something that was all hers. This boy she could pour all her love into, all the love no one else had ever wanted from her. And for a little while it had been that way. But then Cody came back. And her hell on earth began.

Smiling, Logan walked towards Sam and hugged her. She stood there stiffly, trying her damn hardest to not cry. He pulled back and beamed at her. "Damn, girl, you went and got rich, huh?"

"Yeah, lucky me," she choked out.

"Well this is a lifestyle like we could have only dreamed about as kids but if you don't like it...I'm more than willing to help you break out of here right here, right now."

She held up her hand, showing him her ring. "I'm right where I want to be."

He took a step back. "Well, that's great, darlin."

"And what are you doing here? Last time I heard you were in Iraq."

"Cooper moved to town a few weeks back and I followed him." Logan shrugged as if it was a perfectly natural explanation.

Sam couldn't help thinking _Why didn't you follow me when Cody ripped me away from you?_

But she knew that wasn't a fair reaction. Logan had been fifteen, a kid like she was. He couldn't have been her hero, even if he had wanted to. "Coop's here. I'll have to catch up with him. Port Charles' so small I'm sure I'll run into him at Kelly's or The Metro Court, eventually, though. Its been nice seeing you." She gave him a strained smile. "But you should go now. Claudia doesn't like anyone on the second floor who isn't family."

"Claudy sent me up here, actually," Logan said with smile. "She hired me to be your bodygaurd."

"She did_ WHAT?!_"

"You say that like you didn't miss me. Don't be that way, Sammy. Didn't you ever even think about me. We were," his voice dropped to a low and intimate tone, as he remembered all the times they shared together "best friends...once."

Walking across the room, so she didn't have to look at him and see all she couldn't have, Sam said "Cooper has always been your best friend, Logan."

"There some rule that a guy can't have more than one best friend?"

"This will not work." She reached into a drawer and took out a check book. She quickly wrote a check and then walked over and pushed it into Logan's hand. "You're fired. He's your severance pay."

He looked at the check for a long minute. Genuine hurt was in his eyes but he played it off by saying "Sorry, darlin', but a deal's a deal and I got one with your bitch of a sister in law. So I'm gonna have to turn down your generous buy out offer."

"I don't want you here."

"I got that much. You got a reason?"

"It's not personal. I do have...fond memories of you."

"You don't even sound like yourself. You sound like Pod Sam. You become a stepford society wifey when you married this jerk?"

Sam pushed Logan hard in the chest. "Don't you ever talk bad about Johnny. He saved me!" Tears came to her eyes as she remembered what it was like to live with Cody, and all the disgusting men who came after him. "He loved me when no one else was there! Where were you, huh? Where WERE you? Gone! Gone to some war I know you don't even believe in. You know how I know that Logan? Cause you've never believed in anything in your whole damn life!"

Grabbing her arms, he stilled her and leaned in close to her. With their eyes only an inch apart he said "I believed in you. I believed in the way it felt when you said I was the only man you would ever love...the only person on earth, is what you said. So what happened to all that love, Sam? I know you had to move away but nothing stopped you from coming back later. Unless you lied...unless there is someone else on earth you love more than me."

"Now there is." Her little Lola.

Logan took three big steps back. Sam almost fell over because he so abruptly let go of her. Glaring at her, he took in a few short breaths and then said "Freaking fantastic. I can't wait to meet your husband. There's no reason this has to be...hard. We used to screw when we were teenagers. Its not like you're the only chick I've ever been with. I need a job and for as long as Claudia says so, you are it."

"And you...won't try to mess up my marriage?"

"What makes you think I even still want you? I asked if you still loved me. I didn't say I still love you."

Her eyes searched his. "And you don't right? Seeing me hasn't made any old feelings come back, right?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"Good."

Jagger knocked on the door. Sam opened it. He said "Lola is calling out for you."

"I'll be right there. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Zacchara."

Sam turned to Logan. "I have to go."

"Where you go, I go."

"That's ridiculous! I'm perfectly safe in my own house."

"You'll be safer with me next to you."

"When Johnny comes home, he's gonna reassign you. If he doesn't kill you first, that is."

"Is he violent with you?"

"Of course not!"

"Good. Cause then I'd have to kill him," Logan ground out, meaning every word. He never let chicks get underneath his skin but Sam had been in his life before he had that rule. Sam was the reason for the rule, actually. He never wanted to miss someone as bad as he had missed her.

Sam sighed. "This is not gonna work. I really hate Claudia for doing this to...all of us."

"I can handle it. You can handle it, right?"

"Right!"

"And I'm sure the good and perfect Johnny can handle it. So what's the problem?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, Sam bit her lip before admitting "There's another person to consider. You were standing right there when Claudia told me to go take care of my daughter...I have a 2 year old, Logan. Lola is who I live for...not for me and not for any fantasy I let myself believe about me and you when I was a teenager. Not even for Johnny or for this fancy life he gave me. I live for my child. And if you cost her the only family she knows...her safety in this world...I will never forgive you."

"How can I do that? Unless you still love me? Is that what your trying to tell me? Cause...the offer stands. Me and you and your kid...we can walk out of here right now and never look back." It was crazy to even think about doing something like that. They would be hunted everyday of their lives. But that sounded better to Logan than going home tonight and knowing Sam was curled up in bed with some mob prince. It had been one thing when he hadn't seen her for years. He could tell himself he only had such strong feelings cause she was his first love and first heartbreak, but seeing her again confirmed she could be even more to him if they got a second chance. "What do you say?"

"What do I say?" Shaking slightly she demanded " I say quit your job!"

"Hell no, honey. I'm not the quitting type. Besides I think I'm gonna like hanging around you again. And whatever happens between us...believe me, it will be exactly what you want."

But that was what Sam was most afraid of.


	8. Sam and Logan, part four

**Part Four**

_She had a good day, bad day, sunny day, rainy day.  
All she wanna know is "Where my money at?"- Wyclef Jean _

Claudia walked onto the Haunted Star, the place where she always met Jason for meetings. The owners' son was a cop and Officer Lucky Spencer made sure none of his cop buddies paid any mind to what went on during the day on the local gambling boat.

She said "Lets get this over with. I don't like being summoned by anyone. You pull another _You have ten minutes _on me and I just might show up with guns blazing."

"No, you won't."

"You think you know me?"

He didn't answer. He didn't have to.

Jason Morgan was probably the only man in town capable of understanding Claudia Zacchara. He got how she could turn off her emotions and pull the trigger. He got how she could throw all her chips into one pot, and risk her very life for that one big score. He'd been her biggest gamble ever. She wasn't supposed to let him into her heart, but he had broken down her walls and snuck inside, and for that she truly despised him now.

Three years of loving him, and the day she realized he never loved her quite the same way back, had been the day she seriously considered killing him. The feel of cold metal on the back of his head had been the first time anyone ever got really close to killing him. But not the last.

Since that day they had both been close to the brink of death too many times to count. But they were survivors and while the bodies hit the floor all around them, both Jason and Claudia always managed to walk out of every gun battle still breathing.

Claudia was used to Jason's stony silences in the place of a response. To the hard look in his blue eyes, the eyes that held her captivated too many nights in the past and the eyes that could look at her and threaten to end her, without his mouth saying a single word. And if it came down to it, Jason would have no problem shooting her. She would like to say she could do the same back...but she tried it once and broke down in tears instead. It was the day after he had broken up with her. She was a lot more emotional back then when it came to him.

Killing Anthony had been child's play. Killing Jason would leave her scarred. But one day Claudia might just do it anyway. If he kept pushing for more concessions of her territory. He could break her heart, her spirit, her soul and mess with her mind but take her property and it was on.

Claudia crossed the room and sat at the bar, a few seats away from Jason. "The wife let you off the leash long enough to work? Aren't you a lucky boy. Did she tell you to hurry back to rub her feet and feed your...how many is it now? Three little angel face brats. Tell me, Jason, how much time do we have? What's your curfew? Does the wifey have a big night plan for you two when you get back to the Penthouse?"

"I didn't come here to make chit chat."

"Oh does Carly still have the No Personal Talk with Claudia rule? Sad. She's just as insecure as the day she slinked into this town."

"Keep my wife's name out of your mouth. You want to talk business or should I call Johnny instead?"

"I'm the only one who negotiates with you, you know that. Try and make an end run around me to my brother and I will consider it an act of war."

Jason shook his head, holding back a smirk."Against who? Johnny has no problem with me or Sonny. Don't drag your whole family into a war you don't want over personal shit that should have been dead years ago."

Claudia jumped out of her seat and got in his face. His guards stepped closer but Jason lifted a hand to keep them back. He was used to Claudia's outbursts. She sneered "Against who? Me, that's who. You ever disrespect my authority again and that bitch you claim to love will end up a widow."

"You know what? You talk way too much. The kind of things you say, could get a person killed. Keep your mind on business or move to Milan and take up shoe shopping for job. But whatever you do, make sure you don't make threats against my wife and kids ever again. I won't keep giving you a pass. Old times only go so far."

"Like you ever took into consideration our past. Tell your lies to Carly. She might believe them but I stopped buying into your bullshit years ago." She walked behind the bar and poured herself a drink.

"Done having a fit? Can we work now?"

She downed her drink and he started to talk about business. An hour later they had a new agreement hammered out for getting in Corinthos Morgan's new shipment. Jason hated how often, in his dealings with Claudia, the past exploded in his face like a bomb. But that was the price to pay, he guessed, for messing with fire.

Getting burned over and over and over again.

Still, she had been more than worth it. Cause when she was good, she was so good he couldn't think straight. Not as life changing to his heart as Carly, but to his body Claudia was as addictive as every street drug on the market combined into one joint. Take a hit of her and you'd never forget the high. For that high he had spent three years sneaking around town to see her, till the day Carly left Sonny and needed Jason to take her in and help her with their oldest son. He had dropped Claudia like a bad habit and she had never forgave him for it.

She wanted him dead- or her husband. Since he would never be the latter, Jason couldn't help thinking that one day she would try and make him the former. Stone cold dead. He didn't bother hoping it never came to that.

He didn't waste his energy on wishing and hoping for things. It would either happen or not. He figured one day Claudia's rage would boil over enough to say to hell with their truce, to hell with being rational or sane. And she would do what she had wanted to do for ten years. Take a shot at his head.

The major problem Jason had was Claudia was known to be a perfect shot- in pool and fire arms. The only way to beat her was to run the table or shoot first. He'd run the table on her many times before and one day, he figured, he would end up shooting first.

It would be shame to end that way. But he had a wife and kids at home to get back to... and the day Claudia risked that happening would be the day she died.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam could hardly believe she was about to introduce Logan to her daughter. She hadn't even dreamed of this ever happening. She'd been able to keep track of him, over the years, but she never went back to him because she felt she was damaged goods. Still she longed for the day he might find her and say she was just who he wanted...even broken and bitter and used up, that none of that mattered. But she had close down the part of her heart where she kept her memories about him, after Johnny found the love letters, and forced herself to not think about what might have been anymore.

But from the moment she saw him downstairs, the floodgates opened back up and she couldn't help but think about all the dreams she used to have about having a life with Logan. Her Logan. The boy she loved since grade school. He had became a man while she was separated from him, and she became a mom. They were grown up now but still one look from him, one crooked grin, and her heart was racing again.

She had to find a way to get rid of him before Johnny came back or else her husband would flip out, not on her, but on Claudia and Logan and any gaurd within hearing range for letting Sam be alone with her ex- lover. Sam was a precious jewel to Johnny. He treated her like she was priceless and protected her with everything he had. He wouldn't want her to be alone with any man that might tempt her...that could threaten their happy home.

Sam and Logan walked into the nursery. She told the nanny to take a break and then picked up Lola. "Sweetie, I want you to meet...mama's old friend...this is Logan Baldwin Hayes."

"Low!" the baby cried, saying one of the few words she knew.

"Hello, there, princess. You sure are pretty," he said. Then, looking at Sam, with awe in his eyes, Logan added "I can't believe you have a kid...you just light up around her, do you know that? There's this look in your eye that you didn't have before we walked in here. Its...stunning."

"She's my world, Logan. My whole heart."

"Well...she's awful lucky then."

Later on, Sam and Logan walked around the grounds outside. He asked "You like living here?"

"I love it. It's the first home I've ever had. Cause God knows what Evelyn raised me in was more like a war zone. I really didn't think I could even be a mother, after her stellar example, but lucky for me Johnny was around to help."

"How long have you been with that joker?"

"He's not a joker. If you can't say something nice..."

"Okay, okay. Whatever. He's a great guy. The bestest ever. How long?"

"Nearly three years."

"And your daughter is two, right? You didn't date long before you..."

"Got knocked up. No. We married the first weekend we met actually and Lola was born less than nine months later."

"Less than?"

Sam sat on a bench in the garden. "She was slightly early."

"You sure about that?"

Sam was sure who Lola's father was. She was the only person on earth who knew the truth for certain. She couldn't regret her lie. When choosing between an abusive prick like Ric Lansing and the man she married, only nineteen at that time and already twice the man Ric could ever hope to be, Sam didn't have to wonder if she made the right choice. Johnny was who Lola needed and Johnny was who she would have.

She said, "Claudia doesn't believe it. Neither do plenty of Johnny's friends - guys he grew up with, Lucas and Dillon. But Johnny always did believe me...always. He's been amazing to me. Better than he had to be. Better than I deserve. If he didn't believe me...I don't know what I would have done, where I would have gone."

Logan crouched down in front of her. He took her hands in his. She took in a shaky breath. He said "Are you here...in this big house with this crazy family...cause you love them? Cause this is where you feel like you should be? Or...just cause Johnny boy offered?"

"That's not a fair way to put it, Logan. Yeah, he offered to be my savior when I needed one and I took him up on it. Were we in love after one weekend? Not even close. He was drunk when we said I do. I was doing what I always do...marry the first rich guy who offers. Claudia wasn't lying when she said I had five former husbands. None of the weddings were legal, cause I never used my real name but I was married to them in their eyes. Till I got as much of their cash as I could."

She pulled her hands out of his and added. "I'm not that sweet girl you remember. Not by a long shot. Johnny never saw me as I am though. He always sees someone better...and so for him I am that. I'm better than myself. Cause he deserves that and Lola deserves him."

Logan sat next to her on the bench. "You got it all figured out, huh? It sounds to me like you made a deal instead of a vow when you said I do to that ass...uh, guy."

"Maybe I did. But its been a good deal. I've grown to really care about him."

"Care about? You should love him, darlin, if he's your husband."

Looking in his eyes, Sam challenged "Oh yeah, and what do you know about love? How many times have you been in love?"

"Just once. Just like you."

Tears came to her eyes. Softly she begged. "Don't do this to me. That was ten years ago...I was a teenager. I'm not_ her _anymore."

Logan leaned close to her and answered "But you're still mine...and that's what really counts."


	9. Sam and Logan, part five

**Part Five**

_Some live for the bill.  
Some kill for the bill.  
She wined for the bill.  
Grind for the bill._

_  
And she used to be the sweetest girl._

_  
Some steal for the bill if they got to pay the bill.  
And she used to be the sweetest girl- Wyclef Jean.  
_

For the next few days, as Logan guarded her and they kept talking about the past, his words from when they were in the garden together repeated in her mind:

_You're still mine and that's what really counts._

Was she still his? Her heart pounded like crazy in her chest whenever he walked into a room, and deflated when he walked out. Maybe that was just lust. Maybe it was residual feelings for him being her first love, she couldn't say. But it made her worry about what Johnny would see on her face when he came home.

She was a con artist but she hadn't conned him in two years now. He had accepted her and loved her and the games became unnecessary. The way he cared for her and Lola made John someone Sam never wanted to cause even one moment of pain. But if Logan stayed around much longer, she was sure Johnny would be the one to pay the price. He'd feel like her second choice, even if she stayed with him. It twisted her heart to know that. And to know that, for all the words she told Logan about how he should resign from his job, she didn't want him out of her life. Three days and already she was in too deep to let him go.

They hadn't kissed or even held hands since he came to Port Charles. They didn't have to in order to know that the fire raging between them was still as hot as ever.

Lucky for Sam, Logan wasn't in the room when Johnny came home. It was late at night and Logan was already off the clock. Johnny walked into their bedroom, carrying a suitcase. Sam jumped out of bed and rushed into his arms. He dropped the suitcase and embraced her. She kissed him, with a desperate ache born from fear of losing all they had. "Hey, sweet girl, that's some welcome home."

"Hey, baby. I missed you."

"Well, you know I missed you and Lola like crazy. I hate to be away from either of you but you know how it goes...the business has got to get done. Miami is calm again. Fernando beat that rap and he's home with Maggie and their boys. They had a big party to celebrate his acquittal. I wish you could have been there with me but I didn't know how it would go with the jury. If he went down, there would have been bloodshed in the streets."

"Thank God, you made it home, Johnny. Lola...she can't lose her daddy." A single tear slipped from Sam's eyes. She swiped it away. "Look at me, being such a girl. Come on, come to bed."

Sam started to unbutton his shirt and then stripped it off him. He kicked off his shoes and pants. In bed, Johnny pulled Sam close to him and said "I hate sleeping away from you."

"I hate it too. When you're not around...everything gets messed up. This house isn't a home without you, baby."

He kissed her shoulder. "I'm home now. I love you, Samantha. No matter how many times I leave you...don't I always come running back?"

"You always do," she said, with tears in her voice.

Sam knew if she left him, she wouldn't come back though. She'd be too happy with Logan to even think about Johnny again. But would Lola be happy? Lola had a father, a home, a family here. And Sam had Johnny's arms around her, and they felt almost as good as Logan's did.

Maybe it was a compromised life. But for this former con woman, stripper, and child bride at seventeen...the life Johnny offered was as close to heaven as she ever had expected to get. Until Logan walked back into her life and she glimpsed all she lost in his depths of his haunted eyes.

If she was honest, she did want to be laying in Logan's bed instead of Johnny's. But her heart didn't belong to just one man- not anymore. It belonged to her little baby girl. And each day, little by little, Lola's father slipped inside it too. Not in the instantaneous way that Logan had, when they were eight, and later when they were fifteen and he stood on her doorstep with shaking hands and told her he had dumped a hot cheerleader for her. Sam didn't love Johnny in that wild, out of control, make you go mad sort of way.

But as they lay in bed that night, she realized she did love him in a quiet, mature way. She loved him enough to give up the chance of running off with Logan...for grabbing that beautiful dream would crush this beautiful one. And in this one, Lola and Johnny were both happy. She couldn't do that to her family. This is the family she waited for all her life.

She had picked Johnny up that night at that bar because he was rich, just out of high school and able to be reeled in easily. But he always said he went home with her because he knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with...and so the next morning he asked her to hop on the family jet and head to Vegas. Sam thought, on that day, she had hit the jackpot. Now she knew...she really had. Just not in the way she expected.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm taking her out of that house, man," Logan told Cooper as they sat in Kelly's.

Lulu came up to the table to take their order. Logan waved her off. "Let the men talk, okay? Good girl."

She just rolled her eye and walked to the counter to complain to Georgie about how the cheapskate with the bad attitude was back again.

Cooper said "I know that you had something with Sam in Texas-"

"Something? Man, she was it for me. You know that. You think you got something special with the police commish's daughter-"

"Maxie. You've been in a town a week. Learn her name already."

"I know her name. Maxie. Maxie. Maxie. Okay? You happy. Are you listening to me about Sam? I want her to leave that punk she married. The way she looks at me...she don't love him. She can't."

"You can't know that. Besides, however she feels about you, they have a kid together. You don't want to break up a family, do you?"

Georgie walked over and refilled their coffee. Logan was about to tell her to hit the road when she smiled at him. He couldn't be mean to such a sweet face so he said "Thanks, doll face."

"Would you like to order now?"

"Just bring us two house specials," Logan said.

When Georgie walked off, Cooper complained. "I never said I wanted chili."

"Just eat it. Shut up! Who cares what we eat? Are you gonna help me to break Sam out of there or not?"

"First you better find out if she even wants you now. She might be over you. Its been a long time since we were kids in Texas."

"Sam can't be over me. I'm not over her...she can't be. It just couldn't ever end for us. I get that now and so does she."

"The Zaccharas won't let you take what's there and just walk away to live happy ever after."

"I won't leave them a choice. Sam and Lola...they should be with me. I know it. I feel it in my gut. If her father hadn't made her move away, that little girl would be my daughter."

"But she's his."

"Probably not biologically."

"What would make you say that?"

"Sam said as much. She made him the daddy cause he was around. Well now I'm around. She's...the one, Coop. She always has been. The only one for me and I'm taking her back."

"You better watch yourself. You have that crazy look in your eye and when you get that...nothing good every comes from it."

"Not everything I touch turns to crap, you know. Or at least it doesn't have to this time. This time its right. She's right for me...Sam still loves me. And as soon as I get her to admit that, we leaving Port Charles together. We'll let you know where we land- some place nice to raise Lola- but you'll have to keep it on the down low. Don't tell a soul. Especially not that loud mouth police commish's daughter."

"Maxie! Her name is-"

"I know! For God sake's, I know. Maxie. How in the hell do you fall for someone so hard in less than a month? You're so whipped that I feel bad for you."

Georgie walked over and set down their food. "Here you go. Can I get you anything else?"

"We're good, doll face."

Georgie smiled at Logan. He watched her walk away. "Sweet kid."

Cooper said "That's Maxie's sister. I told you that the first day you were in town. Don't you listen to me at all?"

"Yeah, I listen. Sure. Now what do you say to my plan?"

"Do you have a real plan? All I hear are grand delusions about running off into the sunset with a married woman."

"You're a real buzzkill, Coop."

"The voice of reason, you mean. Listen I care about you and Sam, both. I even care about Lola because she's Sam's daughter. So for the sake of all of our lives...don't do anything drastic. Don't act first and think later. I'd hate to see you mess up everyone's world."

"Aw, whatever. You'll eat those words when I make Sam my wife and Lola my daughter. We can't do it right away...but I know one day it will happen cause it was decided back in second grade. She loved me on the spot and that love is the kind that don't die. I know it."

Cooper sighed. "I just hope that if you do get what you want, you can live long enough to enjoy it."


	10. Sam and Logan, last part

**Part Six**

_High school she was that girl that make me do the hula hoop around the gym  
just to get a peek again._

_She's a 10!_

_  
High school she was that girl that make me do the hula hoop around the gym  
just to get a peek again._

_She's a 10!_

_  
Never thought she would come and work for the president-  
Mr. George Washington._

_Where my money at?- Wyclef Jean_

Jagger Cates sometimes really hated this life. He was nearly thirty five years old and any way you looked at it he was probably not gonna make it to forty. He had gotten himself into one hell of a mess.

After spending twelve years working his way up the ranks of the FBI, he should have more to show for his life by now: a hot wife, couple cute kids, a condo in Washington DC and the job title of head of the Organized Crime Task Force East Coast Division. Instead, the day after his brother Stone had died while working for the Ruiz Family in Miami, Jagger went deep undercover and took a job as a Zacchara henchmen- the supposed cousin of Ricky_ One Eye _Carson. Ricky was just a little too dead to dispute the family tie. And the rest of the family was long buried, too.

Now twenty nine months later he was just about to get enough evidence to bring down both Claudia Zacchara and Jason Morgan, for they both trusted him to overhear conversations between them and soon he would have heard enough to get a federal wire tap warrant on the Zacchara phones. Sooner or later someone would say something that started the house of cards tumbling down. It was painstaking work but he was in this for the long haul.

He had made one fatal mistake already though, and he was laying naked in bed next to her. Not only did he start sleeping with the enemy, he was halfway to being in love with Claudia. The only thing holding him back: the fact he knew the exact way they would end, him putting her in prison, and her putting a hit out on him.

She ran her hand up his chest. "Hey," she whispered in his ear. "Stop thinking so much. When you're in bed with me the only thing I want on your mind is," she lifted his finger and sucked it into her mouth then said "how no one but me could ever make you feel this good and how you can make me feel just as good back. You up for the challenge?"

"Always," he said as his hand slid up the inside of her thigh.

God, he was hot for her. And when she cried on his shoulder about her childhood, he really did think he cared about her in a way no one else on earth ever had or ever would...but what did that change? Not a damn thing. The biggest shame of the whole situation, he had long ago decided, was that he was just a someone to screw for her...he wasn't Jason...therefore he wasn't anyone she would ever love. But still, knowing all he did and all she didn't, he kissed her now and damn if he didn't love every second of it. His hands slid over her body and when he made her moan a rush of incredible protectiveness coursed through him- but hell he needed someone to protect him from her, truth be told.

He betrayed her at every turn and eventually she would discover each and every lie he has told. It wasn't like she told him she loved him, it wasn't like she should have expected more from him, but for Jagger he would always think he should have expected more from himself than to give his heart away to a woman who would as soon kill him as kiss him- which ever one got her off that day.

Sick.

"Damn, so good," Claudia moaned as her head thrashed from side to side on the silk pillowcase.

Jagger knew he was a dead man walking. Might as well enjoy what little bit of life he had left. If he was on a course with death, and he knew Claudia would send hitman after hitman as long as she had breath in her body and men willing to kill for her, Jagger figured he might as well push all the thoughts of what he should have done and what he should have felt and what would have been smart to the back of his mind.

Claudia Zacchara was a man killer. But the surprising thing, Jagger knew now as he rolled on his back and settled her on his hips, was that some men, men like him, went to their deaths with a smile on their faces.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Walking into work that day, Logan didn't know how everything was about to change. He had no clue Johnny Zacchara was back in town...back to put a wrench in all the dreams Logan had been letting take root in his heart and soul over the last few days.

He walked into the house and tried to go upstairs, but Zander told him he was expected in the study. Logan walked back down there and found Johnny sitting behind the desk. "Mr. Hayes."

"Mr. Zacchara."

"My wife told me you're her new bodygaurd."

"Sure am. And I take real good care of her, so don't give her safety another thought, man."

"Your services are no longer needed here. I want you off this property within the next five minutes or else I will let the dogs lose with a kill command. Not as quick as having one of the gaurds shoot you but much more entertaining."

Logan felt his blood boil. "So just like that? I'm out."

"You were never in, Hayes. All you were was a way for my sister to dangle fresh meat in front of my wife, hoping Samantha would bite. You see Claudia loves me but she tends to be overzealous in her attempts to protect me. Did you think I wouldn't find out who you are? I've known about you for years. As well as all the others who came after you. Samantha didn't end up with any of them, or with you, for a reason. She knows that. Don't try and contact her. Your friendship with her, such as it was, is severed as of now. And don't think to send your friend Cooper Barret here either. The gaurds have shoot first orders on both of you starting tomorrow."

Logan stormed over to the desk. "You think you can trap her here? You can't! She's way out of your league. We used to make fun of preppy punks like you. If Sam wants to leave you, she will. If she wants to see me, she will. She was smart enough to con her way into your bed and she's more than cunning enough to slip her way out of the noose you've tried to wrap around her...using her kid to keep her reeled in. That's real scuzzy, man."

"That kid, as you call her, is Lola Anna Maria Zacchara, my daughter. The child I love more than you have, probably, ever loved anything in the whole pathetic sum of your existence. For her...you get to live. Because Sam would take her and leave if I shot you dead right now. But this is the only pass you get. Next time I won't warn you first. You come poking around my wife and my home and thinking you know anything about my child and you will leave in a body bag." Johnny finally stood up. He outstretched both his arms and said "You think I got all this by just asking for it? I took it by any means necessary. You think about that the next time you think about stealing my life. Now get the hell out!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Logan was steaming as he climbed in his car. He beat his fist against the steering wheel. He wanted to go back in the house, screaming Sam's name, but the gaurds would surely pummel him before he ever reached her.

He looked up at her bedroom window, wondering where she was right now, wondering what she thought of what her husband had told him. Logan still wanted, more than anything, to find a way to get Sam out of this lifestyle and make a home from her and Lola with him. He hadn't had a real home since his mom died...he'd never have one, he felt in that moment, if he didn't have Sam in his life.

Pounding on the hood of his car, Zander yelled at Logan "Move it! Mr. Z wants you off the property, pronto!"

"Shut the hell up," Logan mumbled as he threw the car in gear and backed out.

Five minutes later, Sam sat up in his backseat. Logan almost drove off the road. "What in the world are you doing back there?!"

Sam said "I had to talk to you. Johnny thinks I'm taking a bath right now."

"You really want to live like that? You can't even come and go as you want, Sam. Come on, you aren't the type to be penned in. You want more, don't you?" Logan pulled off the road and onto a wooded path. Sam crawled over the seat and sat next to him. He said "You husband threatened to kill me in about three different ways if I ever look at you again. Is that what you want? You want me gone from you life for good?"

"I never thought I'd have you back in my life, Logan. You weren't part of my plan."

"I get that. But I'm here." He took her hand in his. "I'm right here. These last few days...for me its just the same as it used to be. You're the girl who gets me better than anyone else. You always did. And I get you. I know you want more for yourself than just being his trophy wife."

"I'm so much more to Johnny. He's loved me longer and better than I love him. And and in a pure way that I can't give back to him, not even now."

"You ever ask yourself why you can't? You ain't ever gonna have with him what we had...what we can have back. You know I wrote off what we had to being a teenage fling. And I could have went my whole life and never saw you again, never looked for you, kept you out of my mind. But now that I have seen you...I don't think I can walk away. And I don't think you want me too, either."

He lifted his hands to caress her face, and then his lips brushed over hers. "Tell me, Sam, tell me you don't want me to walk away. Not unless you walk with me...I can love you better than he ever could. You and Lola both." Logan kissed her again before she could answer.

As soon as he pulled away, he saw the look in her eye and knew what she would say before the words came out of her mouth. Tears sprang into his eyes. All he could think of was they had once been perfect together...they could be perfect again...it still felt the same...he knew she felt it...so why would she say anything but yes.

"I can't," Sam whispered. "I can't run away with you. If it was just me...but it hasn't been just me for the last nearly three years, since the day I found out I was pregnant. I was scared to death that day. I wanted you...more than anyone else...I really wanted you to come and take me in your arms. But I couldn't have you. You were in Iraq then and I was here...so different than the girl you knew before...so damaged. I almost didn't have Lola. I knew I couldn't do it alone. But Johnny was there...he offered me all he had and I took his offer, gratefully."

"Fine! That was then...this is now. Now I'm here offering you everything I have. You can have my heart, my future, my life...I want you to take it. Its yours. Say you want it, Sam."

"I want it."

She kissed Logan, quickly and then pulled away. She let her hand move through his hair, once, savoring the feeling and the said "But I can't take it."

"Please, don't say that. Since when do you quit so easily?"

"I'm not quitting you because I haven't made any promises to you. I'm made my promises to Johnny and I have to keep them. Because enough of me loves him to not do this to him."

"I don't believe you love him. You wanna love him cause he's rich and powerful and gave you a fancy house to live in. But at 8, you loved me. At nine and ten and eleven and twelve and thirteen and fourteen and fifteen you loved me. And I think you kept loving me even after Cody drug you away. I don't care how many guys you said I do to...that never counted. Cause you were mine from the start."

"Everything I was back then, Logan, that girl...she was yours. But everything I am now...she has to belong to my daughter, to the family I made for her, and to her father."

"I would be her father. I want to be her father. Let me, Sam. Let me try. I'll come through for both of you, you got to have some faith in me."

"Oh, Logan...God, you're beautiful. You're so beautiful and one day all that love you have...all the love you want to give to me...you'll give it away to someone else. And I'll be so jealous of that woman. Cause she has my first love of my life...and he's the love of hers."

Sam hugged him, as he sobbed onto her shoulder. It was the good bye they never had at fifteen and the one they never really wanted to have at twenty five. But Sam knew it was the right thing to do. For she wasn't his girl anymore. She was Lola's mother, and that trumped everything.

**THE END**


	11. Sympathy for the Wicked, Sam and JR

Rated Mature for language

AU

**Sympathy for the Wicked**

It was just her luck- seriously. The first man that Sam McCall had met and not scammed from the word _Hello_ in the last seven years and he would be the one she fell for. What a damn shame. Sitting in the jail cell she thought about how, with just one twist of fate this way or one turn of the tides that way, it all could have gone so different.

She could be at home holding her daughter in her arms right now. She could be smiling at the man sitting next to her, a smile only he would understand, one that said: _We made it, baby._

Karma was a cruel bitch and it slapped, bit and clawed at Sam every chance it got. This time though...this time she felt it had gone too far. This time she had started it all with the best of intentions. This time she had wanted it all to be real, not the faux love she had given so many other men before him, not the fake_ I do_, the fake_ I promise_, the fake_ I love_. So what that she had conned a dozen men before? So what that she was wanted in several states for fraud? So what that she wasn't Miss Perfect American Pie like her husband's best friend Bianca? So the hell what?

This time she hadn't married for money. This time she hadn't wanted to steal him blind. This time he knew who she really was...at her core.

He might have fallen for a woman named Lacey but he knew he was getting a bitter, alcoholic, dancing on the edge of everything, rage filled mess. Just like him.

Did her name really matter all that much? His billionaire father seemed to think so. And all the cops and the District Attorney in Pine Valley were backing Adam up on that all the way.

A jail gaurd walked in front of Sam's cell. "You have a visitor."

"Freaking fantastic. Which one has come to curse me out this time?" Holding up a hand, she said "No, wait. Let me guess. I've already heard more than enough from my blowhard all knowing ass of a father-in-law and from the saintly Bianca. Who's next on the ream me out list? His kid sister? Colby come to give me a good smackdown with her bad high school self? Just send whoever the hell it is away."

The gaurd started to walk off, rolling his eyes the whole time at her tirade. He had heard it all before and really could careless. He passed Adam Chandler Junior, known to all now as JR.

To her harshly thrown out _Just send whoever the hell it is away_, he asked "Even if its me?"

Sam's eyes widened as they connected with his. 1,462 days since they met- she always counted it in days. Each one was etched in her mind. She took not one breath of her time with him for granted- and still even now he could take her breath away. The intense way his eyes boiled with all he felt- the never ending insecurity, the anger, the biting fear and the heartbreak of losing his mother and baby sister to a car accident. And when he was happy...oh God, how she loved looking in his eyes then.

"I didn't know if you would show up," she said, her words soft and unsure.

JR hadn't been home when Adam had her arrested, so Sam could only guess what he thought about all this. Could he throw away all they had just because his father told him she was a conniving, worthless slut who only wanted to milk them dry and leave JR's heart in tatters? Would he know instinctively that was a lie?

His tone gave nothing away when he asked "You thought I'd leave the mother of my child locked up? That I wouldn't care at all about you now?"

Care. Not love. Care. The word was like a knife plunged straight into her heart. Care, care, care. Stab, stab, stab.

Sam walked close to the bars in the cell, her devastation the fuel that drove her. She had never wanted to hurt JR, never before. Not until right this minute."The mother of your child but not your wife, right? Since the marriage isn't legal. Well, its nice of you to _care_ about the mother of your child. I really _appreciate_ that. Of course, if you really wanted to show how much you _care _you could drop the charges. Or is that a little beyond your range of _caring_ now? Didn't all those hours on my back in your bed earn me a little more_ caring_ from you? I must not be as good as you said."

"Lacey," he murmured the name.

"Its _Samantha_! Samantha McCall." She gripped the bars and leaned closer to him."Not Lacey Carson Chandler. That woman never existed. She wasn't real, JR."

"She was real to me." JR raised his hand to try and touch her but Sam jumped back before he could.

She bit her lip and choked down her tears. "Well, she's dead now. Your father made sure of that."

"Everything he said...its all true then?"

"Every word."

"Why? You could have came clean a thousand times already. Could have told me you screwed up and asked me to understand. You could have spared us this...you didn't have to keep the lie going."

"Yeah, I did. That's what I do. I'm a con woman."

She stared him down, praying her old skills weren't so rusty that she could still make a man believe her when all she was feeding him was bullshit. Because as much as she wanted JR to still love her, she would never beg him to. If sharing over a thousand days together, and sharing a beautiful little three year old girl, and sharing a love that Sam banked her whole world on...if all that was not enough for him to still believe in her then to hell with him.

JR asked "Did you ever love me?"

_Yes!_ she thought but said "No. Never."

"And every kiss...you didn't feel anything? It was just a job for you?"

_No, no, no _she thought. "Yep."

"And what part of this _job_ included having a child with me? Wasn't that making it awful personal, Lace...Samantha?" His words were still cold and calculated. His posture stiff.

Usually she could look at him and know every emotion beating within his heart, but his face was closed off to her in this moment. Like a wall had risen between them- a wall constructed from all her lies.

JR asked, as his eyes searched hers, "That's taking it a right over the line for a con, wouldn't you say? You already had your hand in my wallet..."

"She made you open your wallet even wider, didn't she?" _Forgive me, baby_, Sam silently begged her daughter, _Mama doesn't mean it._

Just thinking about her child, her little Faith Marie Chandler, nearly made Sam break down and plead for JR to help her out of this disaster. To help her save their family, even if his love for her had already died. Because Faith would never understand why her world exploded, why her family shattered apart, why all their promises had been just wishful thinking in the end. She would think what Adam said about her jailbird mother was true- that Sam worked JR and whored herself out for a place in a high society family. Why shouldn't Faith grow to believe that? JR already did.

Sam wondered if one day she'd hate him for turning on her. Would she start to count the days from this moment on, instead of from the day they met? And one day would it be over a thousand since they stopped loving each other instead of over a thousand since they had started. Sam couldn't imagine ever not loving JR again. Not aching for him. Not craving his kisses, his hands on her skin, feeling his weight resting on her.

The first night they spent together she became addicted to him. And that addiction was in her very blood now. She doubted she would ever be free of him in her heart. All the other men she had walked away from easily. But JR was the only one she ever let takeover her heart. And even as he stared her down now, his blue eyes so unreadable, she still couldn't take her heart back from him. She didn't want to be free of him.

But she feared that is exactly what she now was.


	12. Sam and JR, part two

Part Two

"_My name is Lacey Carson and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober one day."_

"_My name is J...uh." He looked down like this was killing him to admit. "I'm JR Chandler and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober uh...three hours now."_

_That was the way the way Sam and JR were introduced to each other. Both stood up in a Alcoholic Anonymous meeting_ _in Pine Valley Hospital_.

_Sam was in town for a couple of reasons. She had needed to clear out of Atlantic City fast when her last so-called husband started to get suspicious. She faked her own kidnaping and had him drop off a million dollar ransom. The only trace they ever found of Jenna Harris, her alias that time around, was her car with a very blood soaked trunk. She was presumed dead. _

_Pity for hubby number 6. As he had lost his money and his trophy wife on the same day._

_Sam read in the paper that Michael Cambias was buying up property in this town. He now owned several multi-billion dollar corporations. She thought she'd come here and try her luck at being the next Mrs. Cambias. So a new name and new back story and she was on her way._ _Michael fell for her within her an instant but the more Sam got to know him, the more he turned her stomach. So into her old friend the Vodka bottle she went once again._ _She didn't think she could pass up marrying such a rich man but she also didn't know how she could go through with being the wife of such a monster_. _For a while, drinking had helped her keep the scam going but it was dulling her senses and if she kept up her pace she feared one of her drunken binges would lead to her spilling all her secrets._

_And all she really was, at that point in her life, was one big ball of deceptions. She couldn't afford to let even one come out. She couldn't even afford to tell the truth about her past at AA. But she went anyway. Because it made her feel less alone._

_JR didn't stand up and share his story either. But he started to come to the meeting everyday, just like Sam, as they both worked to get their 30 day chip. On day twenty nine she walked over to him after class. "Almost there, huh?"_

"_What?" For a second he just stared at her, speechless. He looked like he wanted to make slow and delicious love to her. Or was that just her own fantasy after staring at him day after day?_

_After a minute, he said " Oh...30 meetings in 30 days. Right. Yeah. Almost. You too, right?"_

"_Yep, if I make it."_

"_You think you won't? Don't you have only one more day?"_

"_Yes, but I never know when today...is gonna be _the day_, you know? The day it all falls apart."_

"_I know that feeling. God, do I know that one. I live that everyday myself," Jr told her. "Hey...why don't we...if you want to...spend today together? I can ditch work and if you can too then we can keep an eye on each other and make sure we don't screw up and end up with a drink in our hands before the meeting tomorrow? Or is that like the stupidest idea ever? Just say so, if it is. You probably have a boyfriend waiting right outside that would kick my ass if he heard me hitting on you. I used to be a lot better at this...when I'm wasted I have pick up lines like you wouldn't believe."_

"_Are you trying to pick me up?" she teased._

_Shrugging, he smiled and said "Little bit."_

_Smiling back, Sam told him "Well I do have a guy at home but you know what? Let him wait. I need to be sober more than I need his ass. And you, JR, I think you could be my best chance at getting...that thirty day chip and...through another_ Who Knows What Might Happen _day. If the offer is still good?"_

"_Hell, yeah, it is. Lets get out of here. I'll take you for some lunch at the club."_

"_Oh, the club," she mocked "How fancy! You some kind of trust fund baby?" _

_For the first time she really didn't care if he was dirt poor. She just wanted to spend time with him. He felt like a guy who would get her...get her demons and her fears and her insecurities. He wouldn't be in this meeting if he didn't have his own._

"_Guilty as charged, Lacey." As they left the room, his hand touched her back and Sam felt a jolt shoot through her. It was the first time, since she was a teenager, that she felt real lust for someone...the first time she didn't have to fake it._

JR reached through the bars and caught Sam's arm. She shivered at the feel of his skin rubbing against hers. He ordered, his words a harsh whisper, "Come here."

She slowly slid closer to him. Her tears threatened to roll out of her eyes and give her true feelings away. She looked down. He took his other hand and raised her chin to make her look at him and then said "I don't believe a word you just said."

"Believe it. You got played."

"Oh, really? You were playing me the first time you kissed me...standing on the beach watching the sunset? You played me when you cried on the day I asked you to be my wife? You were only playing me when you jumped in my arms after finding out Faith was on the way? You played me when you drug me off my mother's grave and pried the bottle of booze out of my hands? You played me when you made love to me...when you said I love you...when you..."

"STOP!"

"You stop! Stop lying to me. You're breaking my heart...Samantha. See? I do know who you are. Samantha McSaul."

"McCall," she said, as the first tear slid from her eye.

"Fine. McCall. I don't care what name you were born with or what name you used to go by or even if you did set out to scam me. There was a time I would have called for your blood over this. I would be in court getting full custody and be there telling the judge to throw the book at you over this fraud charge. But I'm not that guy anymore. Maybe I'd do that to everyone else I know...but not you. Because what we have...it can't be a lie. It can't be. I'll lose...everything I believe in...if you stick to this story about never loving me. And I can't...I can't lose all I believe in, baby. I can't live through that another time. Let me help you. Let me fix this."

"Why? To show Adam you don't care about what he thinks of me? To get the upper hand with him? Because Tad would be proud of you if you did? Or your mother would? Or Jamie? Or is this just for Faith's sake?"

"How about because I love my wife? Is that a good enough reason for you? Are you saying you doubt that?"

She searched his eyes. His hands slipped away from her. He stepped back. "You do doubt that,"JR said.

Sam swallowed. _That's his cue, _she thought, _Now he'll walk away from me forever_.

But to her utter amazement, he stepped closer to her again instead of stepping further away. JR looked right into Sam's eyes and said "Then I'll just have to convince you."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"By fighting for you...for us...for us family. One day at a time until so many have gone by that you aren't tempted anymore to ever think anything except that I'm completely hooked on everything about you...from the crazy secrets I learned today...that just let me know I'm not the only nutty one in this couple...to the way you take care of me and our daughter...to the way it feels to walk in the door at night and know I'm coming home to the most beautiful woman in Pine Valley...hell, maybe the country. The world? I think you just might be."

She gave him a teary smile. "Oh, JR, I hate that you know what I really am now...I hate that Adam ruined us."

"He didn't ruin anything. I'm still yours. So tell me...tell me what I know is true...tell me that you are mine. That nothing between us was a con."

"I thought you said you knew the truth already."

"I want to hear you say it...Samantha Chandler."

With her lips quivering, she admitted "I never conned you. I just fell for you and didn't know how to explain I wasn't Lacey Carson. I didn't think my name mattered when the rest...when how much I loved you...was all true."

"You love me? You're admitting it?" he asked, just to make sure.

Smiling widely, she said "I love you, JR. I love only you...always you."

"Thank you, God!"

Sam laughed. "Most guys wouldn't react that way to hearing they were married to a con woman."

"But you don't belong to most guys. You belong to me...and that's how I want it to stay."

It seemed Sam's luck had changed after all. JR changed it, just like he changed her whole life, when he asked her out that first day.

They had taken their relationship slow at first, one day at a time, like they took dealing with their addictions. Once the days started to add up JR and Sam had both slowly grown into different people then they were when they stumbled into that first day of sobriety AA meeting. Now neither wanted to go back to being broken, angry, bitter losers. Those people were dead. Replacing them were two people who were still learning every day how to love and trust from each other, and from their little girl, and who weren't about to give up on each other without going down swinging.

THE END

_Thanks for reading this. The title is inspired by the Goo Goo Dolls song Stranger than Your Sympathy._


	13. Choke on the Regrets, Jarly

**Another story that was written for a challenge at SFF.**

**Choke on the Regrets**

June 2008

Her lips are so close to mine that I can feel them quivering, rather than see them. I want to open my eyes and look into hers...and yet I don't. The hunger would buckle my knees and I can't let that happen.

I have to walk out of here. The sooner the better. Leave her standing in the living room of the home she shares with the man who gives her all I refuse to.

(_I move on like a sinner's prayer  
and letting go like a levee breaks._

Walk away as if I don't care.  
Learn to shoulder my mistakes... )

I do love her. Some people doubt that. But its only her doubt that worries me. I love her in all the ways I can. And hate myself for all the ways I deny us both.

It's love that will make me step back from her, drop my hand from where it rests on her cheek, and walk out her door. Put a nice healthy amount of space between me and her. Enough room to pretend we never came so close to crossing the line. Never thought about letting our lips meet, instead of just brushing them over each's others cheeks, as if that could quench the ache.

But its all I allow us. It was supposed to be easier this way but it never feels easy: this life I wanted so bad. This life where I'm just her best friend.

(..._Built to fade-  
like your favorite song.  
Get reckless when there's no need._

Laugh as your stories ramble on.

Break my heart,  
but it won't bleed.) 

"Carly-"

Just step back, I tell myself. Step back. Be who she needs. Don't ask for more. Because more only brings heartache.

(_That's just who I am  
I'm better as a memory than as your man_)

Moving my mouth near her ear, I whisper "You'll be okay. There's no one stronger than you. And I'll be around if you ever think you're about to lose it. Call and I'll be back here in a second."

She tenses and pulls back to look in my eyes. "You have to leave?"

"I have a meeting. Will you be okay if I go?"

Before she can answer her husband walks in. I find new things to dislike about him everyday but I can't fault him too much. Cause he's the one who holds her every night, he's doing what I should be doing.

All the years I spent trying not to let Carly break my heart another time, and she hasn't...cause she's Jax's wife and his whole world. Not mine. She's the mother of Sonny's son and she belongs in small ways to both those men now. I spared myself the pain and loss...and still I lose her a little more every day. Now I keep secrets from her -thinking it will let me hold on to her a little longer. But she's slipping through my fingers anyway.

This is the life I asked for right? _Right._

So why does walking away from her still feel like a punch in the gut every time I do it? Because I should have never walked away in the first place but its way to late to change that now.

(_Never sure when the truth won't bend  
and pretty good on a lonely night._

Or move away ,  
like a storm blows through, and never stay  
but then again I might...) 

"Jason was just visiting Michael. He's really doing much better today. Go up and say hello," Carly tells her husband.

She smiles, believing her own hype even though minutes before she was in tears because her comatose son hadn't squeezed her hand, no matter how much she begged.

I had stroked her cheek, wiping away her tears, so desperate to make her feel even a fraction better. I leaned close to her, whispering nonsensical sentences, just murmuring her name and okay and I know. I would have done anything to make her smile in that moment. Anything to make her feel good again. Make me feel less damn guilty.

Anything but kiss her. Anything but say the truth. Anything but break my vow about being with her again. Both of us feel too much right now- too much grief and anger and fear- to risk feeling more. I just can't risk her. I can't. And I'm sure Carly knows its better this way...right? _Right._

She stays right by my side, not moving to kiss her husband hello.  
Jax says "I'll go right up."

Once he's out of sight, she turns her focus to me once more. Her eyes settle on me. I should have already been on my bike and headed across town for a meeting but I can't leave until I know she's not about to fall apart. "You...you should rest."

"I can't sleep. I bet you haven't laid down for more than four hours at a time since Michael was hurt."

"I'm fine. You got to take care of yourself, though. Morgan needs you strong."

"I'll sleep when this is over."

"Carly..."

What can I say to that? It will never be over? I can't get those words out. I won't do that to her. I don't want to believe it myself. I want to say Michael will wake up. I need to say that. For both our sake's.

Its wrong to lie to her. But that's never stopped me before. I lie when I can't bear the truth and seeing the pain that would flash in her eyes. Eyes that trust me above all others.

(..._I struggle sometimes to find the words- always  
sure until I doubt._

Walk a line until it blurs, build walls too high  
too climb out...)

"Carly, just take care of yourself, okay? Promise me?"

"What does it matter, Jase? If I can't even keep my own children safe. If you can't even have Jake in your life. What does any of it matter? What happens to me doesn't matter anymore...not if this is the best we can offer the boys."

"You matter. Don't ever think you don't. You matter to me. And you matter to your sons. If...if you hadn't made it out of the water that night...when the warehouse exploded...then nothing would matter. But you did. You fought your way back...so don't stop fighting now. If you don't have it in you to fight for yourself, then fight cause I need you to stay around."

She nodded. "I guess I could try to eat some soup...take a bath...lay down for a little while."

"Thank you."

So I give her what I can. But I can never give her enough. And because I can't, because I won't, nothing ever gets better in our world. We sink deeper and deeper into quicksand. Even pulling our kids down with us. All we have tried to keep sacred and protected falls like statues crashing down. We've put the pieces back together before but this time...how do you find the strength to try when your little boy may never wake back up?

Still I have to find some way. I can't lose what I have left of her. I've already given more than I can stand to lose of her away to Jax and Sonny. But that was just what I wanted, right? Right.

(_That's just who I am  
I'm better as a memory than as your man_...)

Carly puts her hand in mind and walks me to the door. "Come by tomorrow, if you have time, and you can read Michael a story."

"I'll be here."

Her smile is so fragile it breaks what's left of my reserve. I kiss her once on the cheek, then again closer to her lips and again...I just want to feel something less than miserable, even if I don't deserve to and even if I can't offer her more...I kiss her lips. It lasts a second. "Good night."

Her voice cracks as she says,"Night, Jase," then shuffles a little to the side so I can open the door. I touch her arm one last time and then leave.

Its all gone to hell now. My world is black again, as I climb on my bike, leaving her to cry for everything she's lost that I can't... or won't...give her back.. I want to go inside and tell Carly I'm sorry but there's no use. Sorry stopped being good enough years ago.

She knows it too. Its just not something she can admit yet. The day she does, the day Carly is finally done with me and all I won't offer, is when I'll be done with this life. Because without her, she's right- it won't matter anymore.

I know I was never good enough to love her. And I know I have never loved her as good as she deserves. But no one can tell me what I feel for her isn't love. She's in my heart, she's my memory keeper and my best friend.

I just can't be her man.

I look at her window before I drive away. Carly's looking out at me. I wonder if she's asking herself if I can save her this time. I wonder when the day will come when she admits I already let her fall.

I used to worry about loving Carly too much. Now all I know is that there isn't a limit to how much I can love her. But I fear there's a limit to how long she can believe in me, when all I do is watch as her world crumbles, as our boy is shot, as buildings fall on them, as my son grows up calling another man Dad.

Maybe the best thing I ever did for her was let her go. Because all my love has brought Carly is more and more heartbreak. So much that I wonder just what is left of her shattered heart. Nothing is left of mine. I gave it all to her, a broken pitiful offering, in the moment she flung herself in my arms in the emergency room- with tears in her eyes over our boy.  
It was much too late to matter by then- that I finally gave up the fight and let her have what had always been hers anyway. The joke was on me. I had saved my heart from Carly and instead of her breaking me...I broke myself. My secrets. My lies. All my love for everyone else, leaving only remnants for her and her boys...leaving them unprotected and exposed.

The bullet that went into our boy went into Carly and me in the same moment. It left us all hovering on the brink of death.

And still she thinks I can fix this and still I try. But I'm failing. I am failing her this time. Every night I lay in bed and break out in a cold sweat because I'm sure everyone must know...Carly must know...I'm not the man I should have been. I've failed my family and they have paid the price for that.

At least Carly is safe in her house tonight, with the boys and Jax. And if she thinks of me I just hope she doesn't think too hard. Doesn't remember all my faults. Doesn't decide to walk right out of my life.

But if she does...it will be just what I deserve. Right? _Right. _

_(...Right there in that moment  
you'll finally understand  
that I was better as a memory than as your man_

Better as a memory than as your man ) (Kenny Chesny)

**  
THE END**

The title comes from the Goo Goo Dolls song Stranger than Your Sympathy.

I'm killing myself from the inside out  
And now my head's been filled with doubt

We're taught to lead the life you choose  
(all I wanted)  
You know your love's run out on you  
(all I wanted)  
And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true

Oh, yeah  
It's easy to forget, yeah  
When you choke on the regrets, yeah  
Who the hell did I think I was?


	14. The One He Wants, Ian and Sam

Ian Devlin/Sam McCall

This fic was written for Soap Fan Fiction. Not sure if anyone around here liked the idea of this pairing but the members over there thought it could be interesting.

Ian was written terribly on GH but it could have all went differently...

**Revisionist History**

**The One He Wants**

**Part One**

He was a simple man before he met her. A doctor. A drinker. An incorrigible flirt who never took anything, outside of his job, all that seriously.

Dr. Ian Devlin was very much like his best friend Patrick Drake, except Patrick was already bitter when it came to love. He swore he'd never settle down. Ian figured he would, someday. But that someday- even as he turned thirty years old- felt like something in the dark, murky distance...a speck on the horizon that he couldn't really make out...until the day they wheeled _her_ into his ER.

Ian could hear the paramedic spouting off facts about the case "Hit and run vic. Pulse thready. BP 180 over 95..." and he took in every word but his eyes were locked on the face of the woman laying on the stretched.

_God, she's beautiful_, Ian thought.

Her wild dark hair gave her an exotic look. She could have been a Hollywood movie star. She sucked his breath right out of his lungs. He had never felt this way before when looking at a patient. Usually no matter if it was a woman or man or child he treated them all like a case, a problem to solve to keep his spotless record intact and a chance to do some good for this word.

Ian would treat this woman just like every other patient but there was no denying that, for some reason beyond what he could explain to himself, it felt personal.

He asked, as they moved into a cubicle. "We got a name on her?"

"Don't you know her, man?" asked Patrick

Ian had only been back in his hometown a week and hadn't met many new people yet. Sam must not have lived here when he was a kid because Ian was sure he would remember someone as gorgeous as her.

Patrick went on "This chick is famous. She's the host of that reality show, Everyday Heros. Sam McCall."

_Samantha, _he thought. _Samantha_...he rolled the name around in his head as he worked. _Come on, Samantha, don't you give up. _

After a few minutes of working on her Patrick said "She's got internal bleeding. We got to get her into surgery."

XXXXXXXX

As Ian washed in for the surgery, he couldn't stop picturing Sam's face in his mind. He had hit on plenty of his patients but he never let it go further than that. There were nurses and lab techs and bar after bar filled with women he could hook up with, so crossing the ethical line to sleep with a patient wasn't necessary to keep his bed warm. Patrick went there before he met Robin but Ian never had. Now that's all he could imagine though. Like a light switch flipped, seeing Sam made him want to save her, then get to know her, find out what her smile looked like, what her favorite poem was, who she admired most, what made her laugh...he wanted to love her.

He wondered if he was some kind of sick freak- putting all these emotions on a woman that was unconcius and could very well be married and the mother of five kids. But he couldn't help himself. Already his life was divided into two parts: before Samantha and after Samantha.

The after had only lasted thirty minutes but he knew he would never be the man he was before, not now. Now he was hers...if she would have him, if she lived long enough to ever find out his name.

He imagined meeting her a different way in a different place.

_Ian reached over the counter and took his change from Mike Corbin. "Thanks. Have a good day."_

_He turned to leave but only took one step before a petite brunette smacked into his chest. Her hand rose to steady herself at the same time he reached out and took hold of her arm._

"_I'm sor- "_

"_Sorry! That was totally my fault," Sam said_

"_Its never the ladies fault," Ian said. "Even when a woman is wrong the man should always take the fall. It's the honorable thing to do." He put on his best boy scout face, hoping his line made her think he was a real old fashioned gentleman._

_She looked him up and down and then met his eyes. "A little more aw shucks and a little less Rico Suave and that con will work like butter."_

_Looking down, he shook his head and smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."_

"_Nice meeting you, stranger." Sam started to move past him._

"_Its doctor. Dr. Ian Devlin."_

"_Ohhh, fancy." She laughed, with her back to him. "Mike, a coffee with lots of sugar. You know how I like it. Thanks. You're the best!"_

_Ian walked up behind her, placed his hands on the counter and leaned close to her ear. "Hey..."_

_Titling her head to look at him, she asked "Yes, doc?"_

"_Do you believe in love at first sight?" _

_He had used that line millions of times. It always sounded cheesy. Only this time did it carry an air of truth, a hunger he couldn't deny though just feeling it made his head swim._

"_No," Sam uttered in a sultry, throaty tone. _

_Ian moved back. She turned around. Their eyes met and held. She winked and his lips turned up in a smile._

_He smiled back. "Yeah, me neither." _

He used to not believe. But today...today he did. He walked into the operating room, intent on saving the life of the woman who has just turned his world upside down and shook up all he knew about love and about himself.

Was it crazy to think she could be his soulmate? What kind of self respecting player even dabbled in fantasies about such things? But he was...yes, he was...and he wanted the chance for her to wake up and tell him if he was right about what they could be to each other. Or tell him he was nuts and that he needed to go in for a brain scan to find out what kind of tumor was making him weak-kneed over a woman who had never said so much as one word to him.

Ian met Patrick's eyes over the operating table. Patrick said "We've got to get in there and stop the bleeding quick or this one is not gonna make it. And you know how I hate to lose them on the table. Its bad for my rep."

"Then do your finest, doctor, because this patient is not dying today. Not on my watch."

Patrick nodded at Bobbie and she started the music.

It filled the room as the scalpel sliced into Sam's skin, scarring her and saving her all in one fluid motion.

(_I've been looking for an original sin.  
One with a twist _

_and a bit of a spin._

_  
And since I've done all the old ones _

_'till they've all been done in  
now I'm just looking _

_then I'm gone with the wind.  
Endlessly searching for an original sin..._

You can dance forever.

_You've got a fire in your feet  
but will it ever be enough?  
You know that it'll never be enough!_

You can fly and never land and never need to sleep  
but will it ever be enough?  
You know that it'll never be enough!

It's not enough to make the nightmares go away.  
It's not enough to make the tears run dry.  
It's not enough to live a little better every day.  
Everything that they taught us was nothing but lies  
Everything that they brought us was nothing but bribes.

_  
But the lies are over now._

_  
All I wanted was a piece of the night.  
I never got an equal share.  
When the stars are out of sight and the moon is down.  
The natives are so restless tonight!_

I've been looking for an original sin.  
One with a twist 

_and a bit of a spin._

_  
And since I've done all the old ones 'till they've all been done innow I'm just looking then I'm gone with the wind.  
Endlessly searching for an original sin._

You can lose yourself in pleasure 'till your body's going numb  
but will it ever be enough?  
You know that it'll never be enough!

You can always take whatever you conceivably could want  
but will it ever be enough?  
You know that it'll never be enough!

It's not enough to make the nightmares go away.  
It's not enough to make the tears run dry.  
It's not enough to live a little better every day.  
Everything that they taught us was nothing but lies.  
Everything that the brought us was nothing but bribes.

_  
But the lies are over now._

_  
All I wanted was a piece of the night.  
It never had to get so dark when the stars are out of sight  
and the moon is down.  
The natives are so restless tonight!  
_

_  
I've been looking for an original sin  
One with a twist _

_and a bit of a spin._

_  
And since I've done all the old ones_

_'till they've all been done in  
now I'm just looking then I'm gone with the wind.  
Endlessly searching for an original sin...)  
_

Lyrics written by Jim Steinman

**Note- Ian and Patrick's history in this is AU. They grew up together as best friends. Ian is not a hitman, drug dealing, knife wielding madman in this- obviously. And the TMK does not exist in this story.**


	15. Ian and Sam, part two

Ian Devlin/Sam McCall

**The One He Wants**

**Part Two**

Two days into her recovery Sam got so sick of sitting in bed that she decided to see if she could stand up. Even a walk to the nurse's station would seem exciting at this point. Besides the more time she spent alone the more time her mind had to go over all her faults and screw ups. To replay all her mistakes like a movie behind her eyes till those very eyes filled with tears and she was sure she was just as worthless as most of the world called her.

She reached out to grab the cover. Her stomach was bandaged, her arms had several large bruises on them and there were cuts on her face and hands. She knew she looked a wreck but _Hey_, she thought, at _least I am alive. For what that is worth._

Lucky had thrown her out of his house the night she was ran over. He was tired of her lies and her schemes. Her shaky morals and tearful eyes. Sick of her and all she had done to mess with his life, his heart and his head. She couldn't blame him but that didn't stop it from hurting to know that her boyfriend could toss her out like trash.

_Sad cause he knows what you really are, huh_? She heard in her head. Sometimes the ghost of her father, Cody, would wreck havoc on her subconscious but tonight it was her adopted mother Evelyn, with her uptight, nasally tone, that filled her head.

Then Cody chimed in_ He got out easy. You're like a plague, Sam. Like a disease_. _And you have been since the second you were born._

She grimaced as she pushed away the covers, ignoring the pain that shot throw her mid-section. She couldn't sit in this bed and just let the duel demons from her childhood fill her head with how horrible and unlovable she had always been and always would be. They had done enough damage to her to last twenty lifetimes. She wouldn't allow them to inflict more, whether they were real or just her imagination.

She just needed to do something, anything, that would take her out of her own head for a while.

It was after visiting hours so she knew Maxie or Alexis, the only two people on earth, other than her sisters, who gave a damn about her, wouldn't be stopping by to distract her again until tomorrow. The night stretched out before her like a prison sentence on death row. She felt trapped by the walls of this room and just wanted out.

Sam tried to swing one foot off the bed. Fire shot through her gut. She moaned softly then attempted to put weight on her foot and nearly fell to the floor.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ian had just started his overnight shift after having two days off. He had forced himself to not come to the hospital and visit Sam, telling himself that he needed to see a good shrink if he really believed he had fallen instantly in love with a patient. But he did call Patrick five times a day to check in on her.

Patrick had told him _Will you stop being so obsessive? I know you are still getting used to working at General Hospital but I'm the best surgeon on staff. I can keep a patient alive and kicking without you breathing down my neck and looking over my shoulder. Why don't you go down to Jake's and pick up someone who looks flexible? Work off some steam, man. I got McCall's case covered_.

But Ian hadn't taken his advice about hooking up for a one night stand. Instead he went to the gym, swam lap after lap, and tried not to think about Samantha. Because she surely was not anyone he would become involved with...the thought was madness. He must have been overtired when he first saw her. _Yeah,_ he thought as he walked down the hall at GH, that was it. _I was exhausted. Completely sideways from no sleep. Yep. I'm sure of it._

He heard a woman moan. Looking into the nearest room he saw Sam was about to tumble onto the floor. Ian ran inside and scooped her into his arms. "Whoa, whoa," he said as he gently forced her back onto the bed. "None of that yet. You can start trying to walk in a few more days."

Their eyes met for the first time. He swallowed hard.

_Damn. Looks like I wasn't just tired or stressed._..._cause she still takes my breath away_, he said to himself. _Now what do I do? Say _Hello, I think I'm in love you?_ Yeah, that would sound real sane. _

Ian had no idea how to be in love but no doubt he was falling for Samantha- falling for her before she even said one word to him. It was either the most romantic thing that would ever happen to him, he believed in that moment, or the most crushingly heartbreaking.

He could not know which until he really knew Sam- as more than just the woman racing through his imagination, as flesh and blood and heart and soul. As someone real.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam eased back against the pillow.

She screwed her face up in a pout, even as she winced in pain. Her dark, wide eyes connected with his light ocean blue ones. Her first thought was to work him. Make him put her in a wheelchair and take her for a spin around the hospital. She has spent her whole life molding men to her will. Why should this...she read his name tag..._Dr. Ian Devlin _be any different?

Sam made sure her voice was soft and fragile when she said "I'm claustrophobic. Have been since I was a little girl. I don't think I can stand being in this room another second."

_Lie number one,_ the words drifted through her head. It was a soft warning, and she had to strain to place the voice. Rarely did she hear herself in her head...no, she was always hearing the people who left her behind.._..Don't do this again, _the voice added.

Jason.

She pressed her lips together firmly. How dare he invade her mind like that? She knew it was just her own subconscious using Jason to tell her not to start another new acquaintance off with her usual shady behavior. But when she tired to be different, and she had tired plenty with Jason and Lucky and even sometimes with people who didn't deserve it like Ric and Liz, all Sam got for her trouble was slapped back down. Told nothing she did would ever be anything but suspect.

So if that was the case, then why treat this doctor or anybody for that matter as anything more than a mark? She no longer needed to work a man to pay her bills but she could still use him to fulfill her other desires. Use him till he was as used up as dirty tissue. Like she had used every man who came before.

She cooed "Could you please..._please _get me out of this room for just a few minutes?"

He might have work to do, saving lives and being important to the world in a way she could never be, but Sam didn't care. She put her needs first, not because she was inherently selfish, she was just too beaten down- too scared and lonely and sad- to try to be better than her baser instincts. Maybe tomorrow she'd try again. Maybe she never would again. Maybe Lucky had been her last good try. And Lucky, she knew in her heart, was done with her for good.

"That wouldn't be a good idea," Ian said. "You need some more time to heal before you enter any wheelchair races around the nurse's station."

She smiled slightly. "Just five minutes? Five minutes outside of this room. You can be with me every second. I'm sure you are more than capable of keeping me from opening any stitches or running away...if I could even manage to stand." She flashed him a wider smile and implored "Dr., be my hero."

Sam touched his arm , intent on softening him up, but froze as their skin made contact with each other. The slightest jolt passed through her, one that made her still as she tried to figure out if she really had just felt that or not. The air in the room changed. She refocused on Ian, seeing him with new eyes even though he hadn't changed at all.

"I really shouldn't," Ian said "but I just can't say no to someone so...breath taking."

Before Sam could reply he walked out of the room. When he came back he was pushing a wheelchair. Ian moved closer to her and tenderly eased her into his arms. He brought her close to his body and lifted her from the bed, then set her down in the seat. He leaned down and said, with his mouth next to her ear. "No stretching or trying to get up. Let me do all the work."

"Okay," she agreed softly.

He pushed her toward the door.

"I'm Sam, by the way."

"I know. I was one of your doctors when you had surgery."

"You saved my life?"

"I did my job, that's all, Samantha."

The way he said her name, so low and throaty, like a caress over her skin, left her feeling warm and lightheaded. She tried to tell herself she was nothing but poison, she was not someone to love and she should never even think about dating another man again. She should learn her damn lesson once and for all. But, just like always, she ignored her own voice in her head telling her to be careful.

She didn't do careful. Sam never waded into the shallow end. She jumped right into the deepest part of the ocean, with the most deadly waves and sharks circling, and only then did she even wonder if she just might drown.

Drowning in Ian sounded like a hell of a good way to go out though. She just might give it a try.

_(I've been looking for the ultimate crime  
Infinite victims, _

_infinitesimal time._

_  
And I'm so very guilty for no reason or rhyme  
So now I'm just looking and I'm killing some time.  
Endlessly searching for the ultimate crime..._

I've been looking for an original sin  
One with a twist 

_and a bit of a spin.  
And since I've done all the old ones_

_'till they've all been done in  
now I'm just looking then I'm gone with the wind.  
Endlessly searching for an original sin..._

I'm applying for a license to thrill  
Going out on the edge  
Moving in for the kill  
And there'll be hell to pay someday  
So put it all on the bill  
'Cause we'll always be paying and paying until  
we're beyond expiration with a license to thrill

_  
I've been looking for an original sin...)  
_

Lyrics written by Jim Steinman


	16. Ian and Sam, part three

**The One He Wants**

**Part Three**

They took a long walk around the hospital. Sam found out that Ian grew up in Port Charles and went to the Winston Preparatory Academy with Patrick. After that they went off to Harvard together. When med school was complete Patrick headed to John Hopkins while Ian did his internship and residency at Beth Israel in Boston.

Sam enjoyed hearing about his past. But the best part was that he knew nothing about hers, or if he did he was not letting on. She didn't have to justify her actions or her mistakes or explain who she had loved and why to Ian. She could just be a blank slate. It felt freeing...almost like she was good enough to be the friend of a highly accomplished doctor like Ian.

As she let that thought drift through her mind, she immediately expected to hear a chorus of dissenting voices- Cody, Evelyn, Jason, Carly, Liz, Lucky, and on and on- telling her that she was dreaming, that Ian would find out how nasty she was in time.

But those voices never came. Her mind was blissfully silent for once, as Ian's voice filled her ears.

He said "So one summer Patrick gets this idea I should try race car driving. He had done the circuit since he was 15. I worked on his pit crew until college and then I was more his party crew but I never even thought about driving myself. I've pulled some daredevil stunts in my reckless youth- repelling off the student union wearing nothing but body paint that read FUR IS MURDER..."

She giggled. "You didn't?"

"Afraid I did, Samantha. The craziest part was that I didn't even care about animal rights either. Some girl I knew did though and she was duly impressed. Thank God there was no you tube back then. Anyway, I might have been up for skydiving and base jumping but I had always left the racing to Patty."

"Patty?"

"Yeah, I'm not supposed to call him that anymore but hell with him. I'm his oldest friend. I'll call him whatever I want and he'll like it."

"So did you ever end up driving a race car?"

"Oh yeah...once. For about two minutes and then I went into a wall. Bumped my head something fierce but my hands were spared. Patrick gave up the sport after that. He owes me big time for giving him a 3- D example of why you can be a surgeon or a race car driver but not both." He asked "Were you ever into Nascar?"

"The only racing that ever interested me was the America's Cup."

"Oh, you're into boats, huh?"

"I used to own a salvage rig."

"A modern day pirate?" Ian asked with a smile. "You're the first one of those I've ever met, Samantha."

A shiver passed down her spine every time he said her name. He didn't speak it in a sleazy way, coming on to her and oozing ego. Instead it slid off his tongue with tenderness, turning her ordinary name into something beautiful for the first time in her life.

She didn't think that meant they would fall madly in love and adopt three babies with her dark hair and his blue eyes, that everyone would swear looked just like them though there was no biological link, and that she would be the perfect doctor's wife, join the Junior League, wear pink silk blouses and knee length skirts that went well with her matching pearl necklace and earring set. And of course her sensible pumps- no more hooker heels for her. She didn't think they were heading there at all though.

Sam didn't believe in the fairytale anymore.

At most she'd heal from her wounds and then invite the good doctor- with his sexy, soothing voice- over to her place for a drink. Then send him home in the morning wearing a smile.

There was more than one way to forget an ex.

Maybe Ian was the key to making both Jason and Lucky distant memories finally, instead of the sharp-edged knives of regret and disappointment they were right now- always stabbing at her heart when she least expected it. Maybe Ian was her next big mistake. Her chance to feel good and then wrecked once more.

It was easy to think of him that way. She had always done that. Moved quickly from man to man and let her body feel more than her heart was capable. It almost didn't matter, at first, who the man was. Jax or Sonny...all the men before them...Jason, Ric and Lucky after...just anyone to make her feel less alone. To kiss her until the voices in her head shut up. Sometimes she fell in love with them...sometimes she just threw up afterwards...but never did she find the one who would stay after she did what she always did, after she blew up his world and destroyed her own chance at happiness.

Sam couldn't even allow herself to think Ian would be different. Because she had played that fool's game one too many times before. Jax was supposed to be different. Jason was supposed to be different. Lucky was surely meant to be her savior...but he hadn't saved her from herself. He couldn't.

_And either can Ian_, she thought. _But it could be fun to play with fire anyway. I'm already too burned to care if I get another scar._

She was deep into this destructive thought pattern when Ian wheeled her into the chapel. He sat down in a pew, next to her wheelchair. "How do you feel? Not too tired?"

"No, I'm okay. Sorry I've stolen so much of your time...I hope I don't make you late for getting off work. I don't want to cause your wife to scream at you."

"I'm single, Samantha. What about you?"

"Completely free."

"Are you? Well, that's a shock. The men in this town must all be lobotomized."

She let her eyes drift down, demurely and murmured "Oh I don't know about that."

"I'd offer to take you to dinner sometime, maybe attend the theater after or base jump...whatever is your pleasure," he smiled "but its against hospital rules for me to date anyone I treat as a patient."

Sam raised her eyes, connecting to his once more. In this holy place where she did feel peace and grace and even hope, she still worked her con...in was in her blood and though she could easily give it up, at the moment, she felt there was no real reason to. Whenever she strived for more all she got was broken into pieces, time and time again. She was sick of trying for the real thing.

She was bored, injured and lonely. Ian said her name like she was his new religion. That was enough for her. She dare not ask for more. "I won't be your patient forever, Dr. Devlin."

Slowly, a grin creased his lips. "You are right about that, Samantha." Standing up he said, "I should get you back to your room. I have rounds and you need your rest. But...if you want...I can check on you before I head home in the morning? Patrick is your physician of record but if you were to have any questions or concerns about your treatment I would be more than happy to give you a second opinion."

Looking up at him she said "Thank you...for saving my life with the surgery and for getting me out of my room for a while and thanks...for looking out for me."

Ian leaned a little closer to her and dropped his voice low "Anytime you need me, Samantha, you just call and I'll be there."

The promise sounded more personal than professional, and for a moment, Sam wished she hadn't been so fake with him at certain times during their conversation because now she wasn't sure if he liked the real Sam or the sultry Lolita she masqueraded as.

What did Ian really know about who she was?

_He knows I'm pretty. I like boats. No man in this town will touch me with a ten foot pole_, she thought. _But what he doesn't know is how the first person I loved on this planet was Danny and that until I was pregnant with Lila I wasn't even sure I could ever love anyone besides my brother. He doesn't know I ache for a baby I can hold, rather than just remember carrying inside of me. He doesn't know I crave Chinese take out and I shoot straight every time and that I've conned more men than I can even recall anymore. He might like me now...and that's nice...because I need someone to like me now more than ever...but in time, if he sticks around, he'll hate me like all the rest._

But that would be later. For right now she was glad for the attention. Glad to see Ian smile at her and treat her as someone worth knowing. Glad for the distraction. She wanted him. Wanted him in her bed, with her ripping his shirt off, with her mouth kissing his chest, her hands stripping off his belt...sheathing him with a condom...pushing him onto his back...she wanted to seduce him and force him to surrender to her charms.

Simply put, Sam wanted to feel wanted again.The ache of Lucky not coming to visit her and of Jason having no room for her in his world ( but always room for Carly, and Liz and _their children_) was too much to face head on. She needed someone to cushion her latest fall from grace.

As Ian pushed her onto the elevator, hit the button and then turned to look at her, she silently told him _And you are just the man to give me what I need most right now_.


	17. Ian and Sam, part four

**The One He Wants**

**Part Four **

Sam had to stay at General Hospital another six days. Ian kept stopping by her room, and they got to know each other better. She found herself looking forward to their meetings. It was hard to keep seeing him as just a guy to use to ease her hurt feelings caused by Lucky and Jason.

Ian started to become someone she liked on his own merits. But whenever she found herself becoming too attracted to him or thinking he was different than other men- more considerate or understanding or attentive- she reminded herself that was not possible.

All men are wonderful _in the beginning_. Just because Ian made her feel like she was special right now, made her light up every time he walked into the room and laugh at his bad jokes, didn't mean he wouldn't change on a dime when he found out all about her past.

Sam decided to just enjoy Ian for as long as she could, because him caring about her would surely not last, she believed. Though it became harder and harder to play the helpless maiden or the sexy tease or the naive rube. She found herself just being who she was with him...and him liking that. But Sam always reminded herself, Ian liked what he knew about her now and it was what he hadn't learned yet he would hate.

_It's lucky I don't really care about him,_ she thought. _Yep. Very lucky for me. Cause if I did...this would never work out._

To even think about exposing herself to another heartbreak, so close to the back to back blows from losing Jason and then Lucky, was unfathomable to Sam.

_If I never fall in love again, it will be too soon,_ she thought _Who needs love? Not a bitch like me. Nope...I just need Ian's body._

And as soon as she was out of this hospital, Sam intended to have him.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"You're being released today," Ian said as he looked over her chart.

"About damn time," Sam said with a smile.

"Eager to break out of here? Who will be my partner in the wheelchair races semi finals?"

Laughing she said "Ephinany would smack you for even suggesting such an event. You better behave, doctor."

"Where would the fun be in that?" he asked with a smile.

_Knock. Knock_. "Hope I am not interrupting."

Sam broke eye contact with Ian and focused on the door where Lucky Spencer was standing. He said "I was dropping the kids off at daycare and heard from Liz that you're getting out today. So you're fully recovered then? Good."

Sam said "I'm sure Liz is quite disappointed I didn't keel over and die. Have you put _any_ effort into finding out who ran me over? Or isn't that a high priority for you since its just me who was ran down?"

"I've been working day and night on this case."

"Guess that explains why you're just getting around to checking on me!"

Lucky murmured her name, stepping more fully into the room, while Ian took a step closer to the cop, blocking Lucky from stepping next to Sam's bed.

Ian said "I won't have you agitating my patient, Officer."

"I didn't mean to," Lucky said. Then in a softer tone he asked "Can I speak to you alone, Sam?"

She bit her lip, looking torn. Ian faced her and said "Maybe this isn't the time for an interview about your accident."

He had no idea about her past with Lucky, or how her life was so intertwined with Lucky, Liz and Jason's. Sam had only told Ian she had recently been in a short fling, and before that she was in a long term relationship that ended extremely badly. But she didn't mention details or names. All of it would only make her look bad. And she wanted, more than anything, to just leave all that drama behind her. If Lucky was through with her then she was through with worrying about him, Liz and Jason. Let them play their mind games forever. She was out.

Lucky said, in a tender tone, "Just one minute, Sam. Okay. Then I'll go."

"Fine."

Ian warned Lucky "Don't let me hear you raised her blood pressure. Because her health is my job and I take my job damn serious. You'll be banned from this hospital if you come in here and harass the patients."

"I would never harass Sam."

"See that you don't," Ian told Lucky. Then he looked back at Sam "Would you like a ride home when you're released?"

"My mother is coming but thanks for the offer. I'd love for you to stop by my place this weekend...Saturday night work for you?"

"Works perfect, Samantha."

Ian walked out.

Lucky asked "Does he give all his patients such personal attention? What's the deal with that guy?"

"He's my_ friend_. You remember what those are right? The people that don't throw you out on the street when they get mad or hurt? Or don't you know any of those?"

"Listen, Sam, I am sorry about how that all went down. I was shocked to learn your role in Jake's kidnaping and...yeah...I went off and...yeah...it changed things between us...for good. But I still was worried about you when I heard you were ran down and I am searching for the perp in your case."

"That's your job though. You'd do that for anyone."

"But I wouldn't think about it day and night if it was just anyone. Its you. That makes a difference to me, even now."

"Are you saying..." She couldn't help it, her heart soared at the thought that he might be here to reconcile with her. Maybe there was one person on the planet who could know all her sins and love her anyway. "What are you saying, Lucky? Do you forgive me?"

"I forgive you and I hope you forgive me but I can't...I'll never forget Sam and I...it wouldn't be right to allow you to be around my sons. If it was just me that I had to think about...but its not and it never will be again."

_Never will be again, never again, never_...his words repeated in her head.

Sam said "Thanks for coming to my hospital bed to break my heart. That never gets old. Jason did it and now you're trying but you know what, Lucky? You never had my heart. I wanted to give it to you. I tried! But you were never really fully there with me. Your heart is in the hand of that selfish little wench out there at the nurse's station. She's holding it and she's crushing it and she will keep doing that for as long as you let her.

I messed up when I watched Jake get kidnaped but I refuse to spend everyday of the rest of my life begging you to understand that...I'm not just that woman...I'm more than that.

Because even if you did believe me, I would still be SECOND to Liz. I played second to Carly for over three years when it came to Jason and I will be damned if I spend three more begging for you to realize I could be your future and Liz is just your past...we could have been great together. Maybe I ruined it all...but what did you really have to offer me? You are breaking up with me because of what happened to Liz's son, not yours. So Liz wins and I lose."

"We all lose this time, Sam."

"Well this is the last time I lose to her or anyone else. The very last time. You think I was a bitch before? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cause now I am going for mine. For what I want! For who can make me happy! For who can make me first! And guess what? You can forgive me? Goody for you. Cause I don't forgive you for giving up on us so easy." She started to cry. "I don't forgive you...I don't...so get the hell out."

He whispered "I'm really sorry its come to this, Sam. I hope you get what you want one day, even if I'm not the one who can give it to you."

He stepped out of the room. She screamed "I don't need you!" To the silent room she repeated, in a numb tone, "I don't _need_ you."

She sat there feeling more alone that she had felt since the day her daughter died. All she wanted was someone to come along and wrap her in their arms. She heard a noise in the hallway and looked out, hoping to see Ian, but instead Alexis came into view.

"Ready to go home?" Alexis asked

XXXXXXXX

That Saturday Ian headed to Sam's apartment. They had made plans to eat at her place. He was in charge of bringing take out food. He picked Eli's and got ribs, baked potatoes, salad and cheesecake for dessert.

Sam answered the door. She wore a sexy red dress but no heels, instead she was barefoot. She was still a little unsteady on her feet but she didn't want to postpone the date because then she would be just sitting at home thinking about all she had lost. Sam wanted to grab hold of Ian and feel like there was one man in the world who still wanted what she had to offer.

"Hey, there. You're right on time."

"Did you expect to me to keep you waiting?" he asked, as he walked inside. "Do I look stupid? Most guys would kill to be sharing a dinner with the famous Samantha McCall."

"I think you must mean infamous," she joked. Sam took the bag of food from Ian and headed for the kitchen to get plates. Over her shoulder she called out "Make yourself a drink, if you want."

As Ian made his drink he couldn't help but smile. Here he was in the apartment of the gorgeous, intriguing woman who had stolen his heart away the first second he laid eyes on her. That day he was sure he must be suffering a mental breakdown to imagine giving his life over to pursuing her but as every day passed, and he got to know Sam better, he found that she was even more than he imagined. She challenged him because she held so much back, making him work to get to know her and leaving him always unsure if she was into him or about to walk away. She was mysterious, tempting him to do his best to discover her secrets and to keep her from slipping as quickly out of his life as she had come in.

He was intoxicated by her. Every look made him hungry to kiss her. Every laugh made his heart swell. Every smile brought a smile to his own lips. Was this why Patrick was so upside down over Robin, off his game and no longer the playboy he had been all through their school days? Could finding the real thing make a man willing to go to such extremes just to please a woman? Ian had never felt this unique mixture of happy and nervous before in his life. As far as he was concerned, no other woman in the world existed now.

Only Samantha. She was the one he wanted...and the one he prayed he would one day be able to tell the world was the love of his life.


	18. Ian and Sam, part five

**The One He Wants**

**Part Five**

It could have been a perfect night, and later when Sam thought about it she would only blame herself for the fact that her first date with Ian went the way it did. There was nothing she could pin on him, for even though he was a flawed man with his own fears, insecurities and demons, that evening none of them shown. He was all about her. Over dinner he reached across the table and took her hand. He asked about her childhood, he complimented her on how she decorated the apartment and laughed at her dry, self-depreciating sense of humor.

He even pulled her into his arms and they danced, her barefoot, in front of the blazing fire in her fireplace. It was a sweet moment but instead of being able to enjoy it, to take it slow and see where her and Ian might end up, Sam let the gnawing ache in her gut and the voices in her head control her. She fell back on what she knew best: using her body to make sure a man would stay by her side.

It wasn't that she didn't think she could survive alone. It was that she wanted to prove some man would appreciate what she had to offer...even if that man wasn't her first choice or even her second. Ian was there and that was all that counted.

Sam brought her lips to his. Instead of kissing him gently she immediately upped the intensity, making their first kiss steamy and filled with white hot lust. Before he could even react she started to unbutton his shirt. If she would have slowed down just a little she might have been able to feel the tender way Ian brought his hands up to cup her face but nothing he did mattered to her at that moment. She was moving too fast, trying to prove too much too soon, driven by her pain and anger and remorse. She was going for the gold medal in her favorite event: self- destruction.

XXXXXXXXX

Ian hadn't seen that first kiss coming. One minute they were just dancing and the next Sam was everywhere: her lips on his, her hands pressed against his chest, clawing at his shirt as she tried to tear it off of him, her exotic perfume intoxicating him, her kisses leaving him dizzy.

Somewhere in the back of his mind a warning was going off but it was too far away at first to hear. Sam moved to stringing kisses along his jaw and then his neck, the feeling that this was all too familiar grew and grew until he couldn't deny that they were not feeling the same thing at all. While he was marveling at how amazing it felt to kiss her, unlike any other woman he had known before, she was treating him like he had treated countless hook-ups from his past. Like a conquest to be ravaged. Like she was proving something to herself instead of starting something with him.

Ian took a step back. Both their breathing was ragged. She asked "What?" Smiling she reached for his hand "Lets move this to the bedroom."

"I'm not sure that's wise."

"I'm healed, Ian. You did a fantastic job as my doctor- you and Patrick both, really- and I'm perfect again." She started to slide out of her dress. He reached out and stopped her by placing his hand over hers.

Ian said "Can we...lets sit down and talk."

"Talk? Are you serious? What...you don't want me?" Her voice broke on the word want and Sam yanked her dress fully back on . "Fine. Then get the hell out! Why did you even come here tonight? What kind of game are you playing? Am I only hot to you when I'm your patient or something? You're really sick, Ian, do you know that? And I thought I had problems."

"Samantha," he said softly as he watched a thousand different emotions dash across her face. It was obvious to him that she most of what she was feeling had little to do with him. Though that hurt he wanted to be able to understand who or what had caused Sam to be so emotional, so desperate for proof of his desire for her that she couldn't even think straight.

" I told you to leave!"

"Fine, if that's what you want. But before I go I want you to understand that I came here tonight, first and foremost, because I am your friend." Ian inched closer to her and dropped his voice. "Yes, I want you. You can't know how badly I want to be in your bed with you right now."

XXXXXXX

_You can't know how badly I want to be in your bed with you right now._

His words echoed in her mind. She expected to feel relief and a cruel sort of righteous- yes, he did want her so take that Jason and Lucky. But she didn't feel that. Instead she felt a fluttering of butterflies dancing through her, and they were all inspired just by Ian and his words. For once her ghost were vanquished and she was just a woman standing before a man who adored her. Or at least what she had let him know about her.

Ian added "But if we sleep together it has to be because you want me just as bad."

Softly Sam asked, really looking into his eyes for the first time that night and seeing him instead of every man who hurt her before, "And you don't think I do? I was the one who kissed you."

"Me? I'm not so sure about that. I don't know who you were kissing but I get the feeling that I could be any guy...and I'm sorry that's not enough for me. Last month...it would have been. If you were anyone else...it would have been. But you're Samantha...and in you I see a beautiful, intelligent, wild, bold, intense, salvage diving, wickedly funny...terrified, confused, tragically sad...woman. And until you let me know how you became who you are...the same way I am trying to let you know how I got to this place in my life...until then...we can only be friends. If you even want my friendship, that is." He grabbed his coat and headed for the door. "Call me...if you want to talk. I...Samantha, I hope you make that call, I really do. Good night."

With that Ian was gone and Sam was left with just herself to confront. This time there was no other man to swoop in and make her forget the shambles her world was in. There was just the face she saw in the mirror...and all the truth she needed to stare down about why she constantly sought out her self worth in the arms of a man instead of in her own honest appraisal of herself. She had been a scrapper since birth, and for all the hard knocks that had taken her down she had rose higher than anyone ever expected. She had her own tv show. She had a real talent for being a host. She had overcome being in an abusive marriage, losing her only child before she could even hold her, and losing the man who swore she would be his wife. She had done damn good for herself.

And it was about time she stopped asking any man to validate all that.

She sat down on her couch and sighed. Ian had been right to leave. From what she knew about him he was a great guy but she hadn't wanted to sleep with him because of that, she just wanted to prove she could get over Lucky, just like half of the thrill of sleeping with Lucky was proving she could move on from Jason. Ian deserved more than that. He was trying to be a good friend to her.

It was about time she started being just as good a friend to him, Sam decided, and to herself.

_You chased another one off,_ Cody sneered,_ Typical. No man will ever stick with you_.

_Now they are turning down your body, too_, Evelyn said, _Damn, what do you have left to offer?_

_You think you can be better than you are_? Liz taunted. _Sluts don't change their strips_.

With a shaking hand, Sam reached for the phone. She called information and got a phone number then dialed.

"Hello."

"I...I..."

"Who is this?"

"Sorry. Its Sam McCall. I was wondering, Dr. Winters, could I make an appointment with you?"


	19. Ian and Sam, part six

**The One He Wants**

**Part Six**

For the first three days after Ian left Sam's apartment he had to fight the urge to call her. To just surrender to all the feelings she brought out of him, let himself be swept under the tide of her turbulent life.

It was obvious he didn't know the half of what was tormenting her mind and spirit, and he ached for that to change, but it was hard to wait her out, never knowing if he had made the biggest mistake of his life by not going to bed with her. Maybe she hadn't loved him, or even felt a fraction of what he already did for her, but Sam had needed him. Ian started to hate himself for walking out on her when she had needed him most.

He was changing in the locker room when Patrick walked in. Ian asked "How was the long weekend away? You and Robin fight 90 percent of the time or just 80?"

"80 percent of the time we were too busy doing other things to even think about arguing."

"Lucky man." Ian put on his scrubs.

"Were you a lucky man too this weekend? Tell me you didn't let a gorgeous tv star just give you a good night peck at the door? Were you denied?"

"You might say...I was the one doing the denying."

Patrick's mouth dropped. He said "You look like my best friend Ian Devlin. You sound like my best friend Ian Devlin but you must be a pod person created by that crazy Helena Cassadine that Emily is always complaining about...cause I know there is no way in hell you would not hit that if you got the chance. You need your eyes checked, man? Sam is not a chick to say no thank you to."

"I had my reasons. Lets leave it at that. Now I need to go check on Mr. Garrison and see if the latest round of antibiotics I prescribed has knocked out his post-op infection."

"Hold up. You're just gonna walk out without giving me all the details? What made you turn her down? Brain tumor or...trouble with the equipment? Man, you can tell me."

"The equipment is in top form. Don't you worry about the equipment. In fact, Patty, don't even be thinking about my equipment."

"Then what stopped you?"

"Samantha has been through a lot lately. She was ran down by someone who has not been arrested. Her body went through a surgery and she's still recovery from that. She mentioned getting out of two bad back to back relationships and...I don't know...she's just holding back on me...not opening up and being completely honest."

"Since when is that a requirement?" Patrick asked just as Robin walked into the room, behind his back so he didn't notice her right away. "All you need for hot sex is a condom and a chick who says yes. Honesty is totally an optional add on like upgrading the stereo system when you get a new car."

"Oh really?" Robin asked

Patrick hung his head.

Ian said "I'll leave you two to your regularly scheduled arguement. I have rounds."

He walked out of the locker room and thought he saw Sam turning the corner at the end of the hallway. Ian began to jog in that direction, but stopped before he reached the corridor she would have gone down. He thought he spotted her every hour on the hour when he was at work, or at the Metro Court eating dinner, or walking through the park before heading home to the house he was renting. And it was never her, just his imagination playing tricks on him. The same way it seemed his heart had when he first saw Sam and convinced him she was the one he should crave.

Ian still longed for her, more and more as every minute passed, but not if he couldn't know all of her. Anything less just wouldn't be enough.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sam was at the Lake House visiting her mother and sisters. After Kristina and Molly went to bed, Alexis and Sam sat on the couch together, each sipping a glass of wine. Sam confessed about starting therapy and asked if Alexis would sit in on a few sessions.

Alexis said "You know I'm really surprised you decided to do this."

"No more surprised than I am."

"What brought it on?"

"I know I have issues." She laughed ruefully. "Its not like I just...do these crazy things like sleep with married men or watch as a baby is stolen and then tell Liz that makes us even...now that we are both missing a child...and _not know _that I'm behaving in a reckless way. But I never slowed down enough before now to really think about how to change myself. I just jumped out of the flames and into the fire. From one bad relationship to the next...from one con to the next...one lie to the next...one mistake to the next...till all I am is mistakes."

"That's not all you are to me, Sam. To me you are a valuable part of this family. You're smart. You're feisty. You can handle yourself better on the streets than I ever could at your age...I was still letting Mikkos and my strange mixture of fear and admiration of him rule my life back then. I'm not saying you don't need to see a doctor..."

"Oh thanks."

"If you feel you do, then you probably do. Just so you can finally purge yourself of all the guilt you feel for your past transgressions and lay on the table any crimes you've held back. Because you carry all that like a weight on your shoulders," Alexis said. "I see it and it makes me hurt on your behalf. So I know it must be nearly killing you."

"It really is. I thought...I was sure that if I had Jason, if I had Lila, if I had my own family finally...it would all be different. I would be different. But would I have been? Because I was still keeping a lot from Jason about my past and that was eating away at me. Maybe having a husband, if he ever really would have made me his wife, and having my baby would have healed me but I didn't get either. And then I tried to use Lucky...for revenge, for justice, for my own greedy need to win and laugh in Elizabeth's face but it turned into more...at least for me. I wonder if I ever totally had his heart and mind and soul...even for one minute...I doubt it. And all that loss, it just adds up, you know? I wanted to jump into my next big crazy scheme...like I used to jump right into my next con...but someone stopped me and I think it was for the best."

"What was your next scheme, if you don't mind me asking?" Alexis looked like she feared what the answer might be.

Sam laughed. "Nothing illegal, if that is what you are thinking. And nothing to hurt anyone else. I just wanted to start dating someone like the second after Lucky broke up with me. So I didn't have to process all that had happened. So I could just use this guy as my...way to not think. But he wasn't into it."

"And that hurt you, didn't it? I'm sorry, Sam."

"Yeah, it hurt but it also helped because he is a great guy. The kind of guy I wouldn't ever think would care enough about me to see me as more than just...an easy lay."

"My ears!" Alexis cried, covering them.

"Sorry. All I was trying to say is that Ian asked me for more...for my friendship and for me to truly share all of my past with him...but you see I've never told anyone all of my past. So much of it I've pushed down and tried to forget. I don't think I can share it with Ian right now...not until I face it for myself first."

"Sounds like a smart plan. So...Ian? Ian who? Do I know him? And please, God, please tell me he does not work for Sonny or Anthony Zacchara."

"Ian Devlin. He's a doctor at General Hospital. He's never been married, doesn't have any kids. He went to Harvard. He's actually really sexy and sweet and...he treats me well."

"Thank you, Lord! My prayers have been answered. Lets drink to Ian," Alexis said all dramatically. She raised her glass. "To a non- hitman, non- mobbed up, non- baby daddy, decent and educated man. May this town not corrupt him before you get him down the aisle."

"Slow down..." Sam smiled. "I am not thinking that far ahead."

Alexis clinked their glasses. "That's fine. You work on yourself in therapy and I'll work on the praying part that Ian truly does turn out to be as wonderful as he sounds. Because this is the best news I've heard in years. My daughter might actually not end up with a man who standing next to in the street could get her killed or one who is in love with somebody else already. I could kiss Ian, if he was here right now."

Sam laughed. "You do that and talk marriage with him and I'm sure he will run for the airport to catch the next flight to anywhere but the Land of Crazy Women."

Alexis laughed. She poured them both more wine. "To making better choices then."

"I'll drink to that," Sam said.

XXXXXXXXXX

The days passed and Ian was sure he was slowly going crazy. All he could think about was Sam. It was as if he needed her more than he needed his next breath or his next meal. He replayed all their conversation in his mind. When he lay down to sleep he thought of how her kisses had tasted, how her body felt when it was pressed close to him. He wondered if he was just stupid or scared of feeling so much, because there could be no other reason for pushing her away. He wanted honesty from her?

Now that seemed like a luxury.

He could hope for honesty later. He wanted to at least see Sam now. To ask if she had missed him at all. To drown in the beauty of her lovely brown eyes. To hear her laugh and see her smile. He wanted Sam in his world again- any way he could get her.

Maybe she would open up more later, he rationalized, but as soon as he thought it he knew it was a lie. If they started off just using each other- her wanting to forget her last lover and him wanting to quench the ache Sam had put in him- they would burn fast and die out quick. And that was the last thing Ian wanted to have happen. The only thing worse than never having Sam would be to lose her after a month long fling because she hadn't been ready to start a new relationship so soon.

He knew he had to let her come to him when she was ready. But the waiting was just about killing him. He thought about calling her but knew that would only make his longing to actually see her and hold her and kiss her even more intense, so instead he sent her three dozen yellow roses with a note that read:

_If you ever need a friend, you have one in me, Samantha._

He headed straight from the florist to his home. When he opened the door, he jumped back slightly. Sam was sitting on his couch, a pizza and a six pack of beer was rested on the coffee table. Smiling, Ian asked "Did I leave the door unlocked?"

"Nope."

"Then how did you get in? I have three deadbolts and an alarm. The family I am renting this house from mentioned Port Charles is the most dangerous place to live in the state outside of New York City."

"I picked the locks and disabled the alarm. I...used to be a con woman...a criminal. You hadn't heard that?"

Ian walked inside, closing the door behind him. He took off his coat and came to sit down next to Sam. He said "I guess I haven't been in town long enough to learn all the gossip."

She said "I'll go...if you don't want me here."

"Why wouldn't I want you here?"

"I don't know," she said, then looked away. "I probably shouldn't have broken in but I figured you wanted to know me...and that's me. I know how to break in to someone's home and I know how to steal what I want - whether that is their money, their identity or their spouse- and I know how to lie to their face and act like I was never there." She looked at him again. "What do you think about that?"

"It sounds like you've had a very colorful past. That is your past, right? You still don't...steal identities and husbands and wallets, do you?"

"Not this week."

He smiled. "That's good."

She smiled back. "Ian...there's a lot more...more horrible truths about me but I don't want to spill them all today. Is that okay?"

"Its fine. Just as long as you remember that nothing you say to me will make me hate you. When I look at you, I like what I see. When I talk to you...you make me happy. When you're around...I actually dream about the future instead of just thinking about what the drink specials are at the closest bar like I did before I met you. Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal to you but...for me you make all the difference in how my day goes. When I see you, it's a good one. And when I don't, I can hardly stand it...was that a little too much honesty?"

"No...that was just the right amount." With a happy sigh she stared into his eyes for a long moment and then started to turn away. "Do you want some cold pizza and warm beer?"

"Later." His hand rose to touch her cheek. He gentle forced her to look at him again. Leaning slowly forward, his eyes searched hers. "Samantha..." His lips touched hers. Their kiss lasted just a second: a sweet butterfly soft caress. Ian smiled as he pulled away. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too."

And she was. She didn't want to be anywhere else, with anyone else, like she had so many times in the past. Her mind was not on what she lost. It was firmly stuck on what she had found.

**The End**


	20. The Favor, Johnny and Maxie

**The Favor**

Johnny Zacchara doesn't know much about Maxie Jones. Okay, he basically only knows three things: she's so sexy that whenever she kisses him he forgets his name for about two minutes afterwards, Lulu hates her, and she is a schemer. The last two are what he is banking on to make this plan work.

When he invited Maxie to his hotel room at The Metro Court he expected to have to talk her into helping him, maybe even pay her off, but that had proven unnecessary. She just smiled and said "Count me in. This should be fun."

"Its not supposed to be fun," he warns her, his gravelly voice low and stern.

"Well I can't help it if I get off on seeing that little brat suffer. Some people play video games for fun. I mess with Lulu."

He shakes his head, letting out a frustrated breath at her unmitigated glee over what he has asked her to do. But he also can't help it when his lips curl up, just a fraction, at the sight of the devious glint in her eye. She gets off on this. And it looks damn good on her.

In the back of his mind, in a place so dark he doesn't even think about going there, where all the demons and monsters and devils from his past still stalk him, he knows that a part of him is going to enjoy this plan of his even more than Maxie does. There is no doubt about it, he is a cold hearted bastard...but wasn't that what he was born to be?

Might as well embrace his birthright.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Maxie sits on the bed, her legs crossed, and watches as Johnny paces the hotel room suite. He pours a drink but then doesn't take even a sip, as if he poured it just to be doing something other than thinking about how he was about to self-implode his life. He moves like an animal caught in a cage, but she knows the only bars around him are in his own head. Who he _thinks_ he should be. What he _thinks_ he has to do. She barely knows him but she knows that much.

She never pegged him as noble, but he must be, she decides. Or really in love. Because he's about to give up the woman he wants when it would be so much easier not to. Maxie could never imagine walking away from who she wanted most. That's not in her DNA. She would claw and scratch and fight to the death to keep her man by her side; she would beg, she would lie, she would steal, she would be ruthless and cruel...there was no limit for her if it meant she could end up with the man she craved. But no matter what she has ever done, Maxie can not keep a man by her side.

It almost seems a lost cause to bother with love anymore. For now she doesn't want or need it in her life. The last thing she wants to feel is desperate and vulnerable, at the mercy of someone who can give her all she longs for and then yank it away again on a whim. She's too young to hurt as much as she does inside and it will be a long time, if not forever, before she gives her heart away again.  
Knowing that makes her feel free. She can do anything now- kiss every man who even halfway tempts her just to see what its like. Because it doesn't really matter. It doesn't really count. Its not love.

XXXXXXXXX

_Ring. Ring._

Johnny doesn't move over to the phone right away. His eyes close briefly. But he sees her behind his eyes- she believed in him from the start. He let her believe...even when he was playing the anti-hero, the modern day James Dean in the fast car with the quick lines.

_Ring. Ring._

He knew he shouldn't have ever picked Lulu up off the side of the road. Even though she had been a whirling tornado of emotion that night- teary and angry and reckless- she had still been just a girl...too naive to believe him when he said that knowing him could get her killed. He knew the truth then. But he let himself forget. He'd been selfish that night and all the ones after. But not tonight.

_Ring. Ring._

Maxie snarks "Get the phone or get me some aspirins. The ringing is annoying as hell. Carly should offer personal ringtones for each guest. You could pick one when you check in. Wouldn't that be cool? What would you pick? Hello, are you listening to me?"

_Ring. Ring. _He finally grabs the phone. "Yeah?"

Marty, the desk clerk at the hotel, says "She's on the elevator, sir. She has the pass key. I told her you had stepped out but left instructions for her to let herself in, just as you requested I do. She bought it."

Johnny slams down the phone without saying anything more. His eyes meet Maxie's. "You ready?"

Standing up, with one quick movement she's out of her dress. The shimmery blue fabric pools around her feet. "Ready and willing, partner," she answered with a wink. Johnny quickly strips off his shirt and tie, tossing them onto a chair.

"Do me a favor."

"I think I already am, don't you?" She motions to her lingerie clad body.

"Don't think about me. Think about someone else...okay?"

"Whatever you say. You're Brad Pitt and I'm Angelina Jolie. Whatever gets you going."Maxie walked over to him then pushed on his chest, forcing him to sit on the bed. "Now lets make this look good."  
Her hair brushes against his face as she leans closer to him, slowly inching her lips toward his, as her sparkling blue eyes danced with lust-not for him, he knew, but for something that really mattered to her: her revenge. Johnny couldn't say he even understand what made her and Lulu hate each other. But whatever had started the fiery hate that raged between them tonight would surely only stroke the flames higher. It has to be done though. It's the only way.

_There's no choice,_ he tells himself, just as her lips meet his. Then she darts away- teasing him. He forgets about what is about to happen. He forgets that each day he hates himself a little more than the one before. He forgets that this is all his fault. He forgets who his father is and that his mother is dead. He forgets everything when Maxie kisses him, quickly titling her head to the left then right while her hands rest lightly on his shoulders, until the moment he hears the door whoosh open and Lulu suck in a breath.

In that taking in of air he is sure he hears her heart break. Pulling away from Maxie he looks at Lulu. "Wait...I'm sorry..." he pretends to apologize, knowing she will never accept it.

"With _her_?" Lulu asks. "You're going to bed with _Maxie_? She's the dirtiest tramp in this town."

Maxie charges toward her."Who in the hell are you calling a tramp, Little Miss Gets Around? How many men have you had in the last year? Three? Four? Or have you just teased all of them? Is that why they all leave you for me eventually?"

"I'll kill you." Lulu reach out to grab Maxie's hair.

Johnny jumps between them.

Lulu focuses her distraught eyes on him once more. "And you knew I was coming over too!"

"I left you a message," he lies. "Its not safe for you to be around me. I told you to stay home."

"So you could be with her!" She slaps him then sneers. "You better go to the clinic in the morning. Lord knows what she gave you."

With that Lulu runs down the hall. Johnny watches as he pushes open the door for the stairway and disappears from view. When he turns back around Maxie is putting back on her dress. She looks stunned, now that he high is over she's crashing once more, realizing just how low she has sunk and how little thought she gave to not doing it. "She's through with me."

"Looks that way, Johnny boy." Maxie picks up her purse and heads for the door. "You're better off. She's poison."

"If she's poison...tell me, Maxie, what does that make you and me?

Her stunning blue eyes are dull now. They study his for a long minute. When she speaks again, her tone is light, with a forced smile on her face she says "I don't know what you are. Other than a mob prince and what's that worth really? Being a mob kingpin is really where its at. But what I am...I'm a survivor. And if what happened here tonight offends your delicate sensibilities than you, Johnny Z, you are not tough enough for this city." She pulls him into another kiss, one that leaves him feeling like he's not sure if he is coming or going, then she chirps." Good night! Sleep tight! Dream about me."

When she prances away her hips swing seductively and Johnny's eyes can't help but settle on her ass. Even though his heart sits like a rock in his chest, hard and lifeless, a small smile works its ways onto his lips when Maxie looks back down the hall, as she was waits for the elevator to arrive, and blows him a kiss.

Its not till she gets on the elevator, stepping out of sight, does he deflate, his shoulder sagging and his smile slipping into a thin, mirthless line. He's alone, just the way he set out to make sure he ended up by the time this night was over. Lulu was safe from his enemies. He wouldn't make the mistake of falling in love again. It wasn't worth the risk.

He wasn't meant to ever be anything but alone. That was the true legacy of being a Zacchara. He would survive...he just wouldn't get any joy out of doing it.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Maxie leans against the wall of the elevator. She brings her hand to her lips, remembering what it felt like to kiss Johnny. It wasn't the first time she had done that. And all the other times she hadn't let him get under her skin. He was just someone to use. But something about tonight...something she saw in him when he was stalking around the room, unraveling before her eyes and yet never wavering from what he planned to do, made her see him a little more than she had before. And when she kissed him it had been with a new sort of hunger starting to wind its way through her insides...like a dare it tempted her to make him want her more than he had ever wanted Lulu...not just to hurt Lulu...not just to prove something...but for her. Because she was someone he couldn't resist.

The doors opened and Maxie stepped out of the elevator, a huge smile on her face.

_I got to you, didn't I, Johnny Z? Yeah...I got to you_, she decided.

XXXXXXXXXXX

An hour later, Johnny walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He lays down on the bed, interlacing his fingers behind his head, and lets out a long breath. The silence in the room is like a force weighing him down, reminding him he is staring down years and years of more silence to come.

Right before he falls asleep it is not the fire that burned down his childhood home and drove him to this hotel that he sees in his mind, and its not Lulu's broken hearted face, instead he allows himself the only small comfort he has at his disposal right now: he remembers the gentleness that was in Maxie's kisses. A sweetness that wasn't there when she kissed him anytime before. A gift. He wonders if she did him the second favor he asked and thought about someone else.

He hopes she didn't.

**THE END**


	21. Kisses, Sam and Logan

Logan/Sam one shot to show how they could have gotten together. Canon up until sweeps in May, 2008, (except Sam does not have a cane.)

**  
Kisses**

The grand reopening party for The Haunted Star was in full swing.

Logan leaned on the bar, studying the people around the room, and feeling detached from all of them. They all belonged to someone but lately-now more than ever-Logan felt he belonged to no one. Not like he cared though.

He cared about nothing, not even himself. He'd been burned too often by caring. His heart was on lockdown. At least that is what he had told himself after his last girlfriend, Lulu Spencer, dumped him.

He watched as she stood next to the guy who had replaced Logan in her bed- that rich prick Johnny Zacchara. Logan would have loved to slam that guy into a wall and just keep slamming till the smirk fell off Johnny's face. But Logan wasn't going to actually waste his energy by going after the mob prince. Being with Lulu would be punishment enough for Johnny boy. It had been for Logan.

He looked back toward the bartender and motioned for another drink. When he got it in his hand, Logan glanced back at Lulu again, knowing he was a damn glutton for punishment but not being able to stop himself, and that is when he caught sight of Maxie grabbing Johhny and kissing him, as Lulu watched with her tongue falling out of her mouth.

Logan swallowed hard as something in the vicinity of his heart shattered. _That's odd_, he thought as he watched Maxie, who had for a few crazy nights last fall been his, pull away from Johnny and smiled, her face glowing and her eyes tempting Johnny to want more. _I was sure I couldn't feel a thing anymore._

He headed for the door, bumping hard into the back of Lucky Spencer as he passed him.

"Hey! Watch it, why don't you?"

"Go to hell," Logan muttered. He darted around Sam McCall, who was just walking in, and their eyes met for a second but then he sidestepped and headed for the door.

XXXXXX

Sam, dressed exquisitely in a floor length gown with her hair pinned up, raised an eyebrow at her on- again, off- again lover Lucky. "What was that all about?"

"I don't have a clue. He's a menace. Just ran into me and acted like I did something to him." Lucky shook his head in disgust then leaned closer to Sam and touched her arm. "I didn't know you would be here tonight."

The way he said those words, as if he was a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, immediately put Sam on edge. If Lucky was feeling guilty there was only one reason behind it. Her eyes scanned the room and landed on Elizabeth Webber chatting up Luke Spencer. Sam looked back at Lucky just in time for him to admit what he already knew. "I brought Elizabeth here but...its not a date. I need her to run interference with my father. He has a soft spot for her...I'm sorry. I didn't realize you wanted to come."

But somewhere inside of herself, deep down and buried, Sam knew the truth. Even if Lucky had known she wanted to attend this event that wouldn't had made any difference. What Liz wanted, Liz needed, Liz felt, Liz said...that is what was most important to Lucky. Sam couldn't trump his ex- wife in his heart, no matter how hard she tried. But she pushed that truth down this time like she did every time in the past- because it wasn't something she wanted to face. Instead she focused on Lucky's smiling face and tender eyes...and she let herself believe his lie. She smiled and played the understanding almost girlfriend as he crossed the room and went back to the woman she could never really replace.

Sam played roulette for forty minutes until she had won a huge pile of chips. Smirking at Ric Lansing she said "You should know by now I always come out on top."

With a devious grin, he admitted "That you do."

Sam cashed out and then looked around the casino for Lucky but she couldn't find him. She decided to step outside to get some air. She walked out onto the dock and froze in place when she spotted Lucky and Liz kissing.

Sam crossed her arms over her chest and cleared her throat. Lucky broke away from Liz. Apologies darted into his eyes. He tried to explain that it was a good bye kiss, that they were finally letting go, but Sam was past the point of believing him. Maybe he thought him and Liz were done...but everything she saw said they weren't.

"Why would you let go?" she asked with her voice shaking with a throat clogging mixture of tears, anger and pain. "You love _her."_

"Sam, listen-" Lucky said

"Have _her._ I hope you two are very happy together but I know you won't be," Sam sneered at him before hurrying past them with tears streaming down her face. She silently berated herself for ever caring at all about Lucky.

Hadn't she learned her lesson by now? Caring was for suckers.

XXXXXXXXX

Logan Hayes was acting like a madman. He knew it, could feel how out of control he was by the way his cheeks burned and his heart raced and his hands shook, but he just didn't care. He guzzled whiskey straight from the bottle as he paced on the docks. Every once in a way he would yell some hate filled words at the night sky.

"Screw this whole damn pitiful town!"

"I'll second that."

Logan's angry eyes shifted to the stairs and caught sight of Sam McCall, looking like a goddess in the moonlight. She looked too perfect to touch at first, but then he took another look at her face, saw a familiar sort of misery resting there, and realized she wasn't just a gorgeous face he had watched on TV or seen on the arm of a hitman. She was just another miserable person in this miserable town where nothing good ever lasted. "Go away."

"You own this dock now?" Sam asked "Don't give me crap. I'm not in the mood." She walked close to him and said "Let me have some of that."

Not waiting for him to answer, Sam grabbed the bottle and chugged some down.

"Damn," Logan breathed out under his breath. "You drink like a pro."

"Its my best event." She sighed- pushing out a frustrated breath. "So, this is where the real party is tonight, huh? The docks?"

"Yeah, but the band packed up right before you got here," he joked.

"Figures," she said. "You don't have anywhere else to be?" The way she asked it clearly said that was pretty pathetic.

"Does it look like it?" he growled, while drinking down more whiskey. He wondered how much he would have to drink to forget he ever knew Cooper Barret and ever slept with his best friend's girl, and ever loved her and ever lost her. To forget Lulu and Johnny and Iraq. To forget his life. He wasn't there yet, so he drank some more. "What about you, doll? You get all dressed up to stroll the docks alone? Some guy stand you up?"

"What you think I can't get a date? I can get whatever man I want, Logan."

"Goody for you."

Not in the mood to be put down, Sam stepped right in front of him and stared him down. "You should be so lucky as to be my man."

"Not interested, darlin." But his eyes danced with desire and a drunken recklessness that screamed _You better run while you can_.

Sam wrapped one arm around his neck. Tilting her head to the side, she whispered "Liar," and then she brought her lips to his in a wild kiss, tasting whiskey and tobacco on him, before she pulled away. "Any...man...I ...want."

Sam spun on her heels, a wide smile curving over her lips, and walked away. He called after her "You have a nice night there, doll!" in his snarky, _you don't effect me in the least _tone, even though he was still quivering from the kiss she had laid on him.

Sam called over her shoulder. "You too, solider."

**The End**


	22. Ghosts and Angels, Logan Maxie Spinelli

Dedicated to Average Everyday Sane Psycho who asked me to write something about Spinelli. Since I have never written Spixie before I am tackling this as a Logan/Maxie/Spinelli two parter.

****

_Ghosts and Angels_

Part One

I've been avoiding Logan like he has the black plague. Until tonight he didn't seek me out either so I thought he understood. I thought he _got_ it. I can't see him without seeing them: flashes of Coop and Georgie in his eyes, and Deigo and all the times Logan and I spit on life- taking, taking, taking, wasting, wasting, wasting so much time and chances. Now they don't have any chances left and we're still here. The unfairness of that wraps its hands around my heart and if I let it, it would surely consume me. But as long as I stay away from Logan I won't see all those ghosts taunting me .

But he's got me trapped on the docks, his fingers tight around my arm holding me close to him, his voice low in his throat. "Don't walk away so quick. I have to tell you something...I..."

"Whatever is it," I make my voice so cheery it makes even me sick "do us both a favor and swallow it down. Go unburden your soul down at Jake's with the other losers and drunks. I have someone to meet at Kelly's and if you keep me out here much longer my hair- that I slaved an hour over, thank you very much- will look like ten birds are making a nest in it."

"Five minutes, please."

"Sorry! Time waits for no man, Hayes. Strike while the iron is hot. Viva la vida. Seize the day and all that crap." Oh God, I'm rambling now. I just can't do this. I can't look back. Eyes forward. Think about Spinelli and Crimson and the launch. The future...not that my sister is dead, not that Coop can't hold me anymore, not that Logan is still here and expects me to have answers I'll never have.

"What in the hell are you talking about? Just be quiet and listen-"

He stares right into my eyes and all I can do is hear myself screaming in the moment I found Cooper dead. I try to jerk my arm back. "Wish I could but I can't. I told you I'm too busy for you anymore. I have a great big life now with an important job and new friends and...and...nothing that happened before matters."

"I don't matter?" His light eyes flash with pain and then I'm picturing Georgie in the park, laying on the ground dead in her red parka. My _baby sister_. I was supposed to protect her. You aren't supposed to outlive your little sister. Shouldn't that be the rule? It must be. But then I'm a rule breaker, aren't I? Such a stupid, sinful girl and still I get everything and Georgie loses everything. She'll never fall in love again so I shouldn't be able to either.

I try to jerk my hand out of Logan's grasp. "Leave me go!"

He says my name but it sounds so far away. I'm stuck in Hell and no one can reach me: at Georgie's funeral with my mom two feet away pretending to care but she doesn't really...not enough to stay at least. "Leave go now!"

Its not that his hold hurts. Its not that I think he will do anything to me. I just know he'll make me remember and I don't want to remember. I won't survive remembering it all in vivid detail. I need Spinelli. He can make me focus on the here and now. I'll get lost in the sound of his voice and drown out the ghosts in my head.

"Will you just hear me out?"

"No!" The single word flies out of my mouth on a sob and then I'm breaking down, falling right into Logan instead of away. And for a moment I think maybe I'll just rest on him awhile and pretend I don't know it will all end in disaster.

"Unhand the Fair Maximista!"

"Oh, hell," Logan curses, under his breath as he opens his fingers and I stumble away from him. Free to not think. Free to beat back the ghosts once more.

But its too late now, my head is already a jumble of images that make my stomach clench and my hands shake. I want my sister back. I want Coop. I want to be stronger. I want to be forgiven. Pressing my hands flat against my thighs I start to gasp for breaths as I try to stop crying. Why did Logan have to go and make me think of them...of all the things I did wrong to Georgie and Coop? With Spinelli I can think of what I did right. I can think I was better than I know I was...cause he thinks so...cause he doesn't see the dark side of me.

Logan turns to Spinelli "I ain't in the mood for you. Get lost."

Flinging to the ground the messenger bag that he carries , Spinelli yells "Savage! Simeon One! You shall never hurt Maximista again!" And then before I can even believe what I am seeing he punches Logan in the stomach. Spinelli dances back on his feet, nearly tripping, and balls his hands into fists that he waves wildly in front of him. "My dukes are up. I challenge you to a duel for the heart of the Fair and Wondrous Maximista. Are you man enough to duel for the lady you desire? You can't love her more than I do and I know love shall win in the end."

_Love?_

Did he just say love? I could have sworn he said he loves me? He can't though. I'm unlovable and I'm done with love...I have to be.

"I don't know what the hell you are talking about but you really shouldn't have punched me. Stand still, you little punk."

Spinelli dances around Logan some more, until Spinelli has his back to the water. I'm too stunned to cry or think or remember anything but the fact that Spinelli just may love me. But I shouldn't let him, should I? Set him up to be ruined by me like all the rest? He's been nothing but good to me and look at him, even right now, about to get his face smashed in over me and my crazy mess of a life. "Just go, Logan! Go."

"You heard her, Unworthy One. Be gone. She no longer wishes to know of your existence."

The look on Logan's face, so twisted with grief, tells me that Spinelli said just the wrong thing in that moment. Logan moves closer to him, Spinelli takes a wild swing and then Logan punches him in the jaw, sending him flying into the lake.

"Nooooooo!" I kick off my high heels and glare at Logan. " Well, don't just stand there? You damn well better help me."

We both jump in and pull Spinelli out. He's sputtering up water and looking dizzy. _I almost lost him. I almost lost him. He was almost gone._

Logan tells him "You brought that on yourself."

Spinelli's head is resting on my lap, as my soaked dress dips water onto his face. He looks up at me and whispers "Sorry...I wanted to be your hero."

"Shhhh. You are, you are."

"A header into the lake and he's a hero," Logan grumbles. "Doesn't that just beat all?"

"You didn't have to punch him! You could have killed him, Logan! You could have KILLED him! He could be DEAD." Tears start to stream down my face once more.

Logan sucks in a shaky breath while Spinelli whispers out his nickname for me "Maximista...don't cry. The Jackal is a hearty creature." He tries to sit up but tumbles back down into my lap.

"I wasn't trying to kill him, " Logan says to me but when his eyes meet mine I only see the ghosts that we share and so I look down at Spinelli again. Logan says, in a loud voice as if he thinks Spinelli went deaf during his near drowning, "I wasn't trying to kill you. Shake it off already."

"The Jackal shall vanquish you if you ever lay hands on my Maximista again. She...she...means more to me than a beast like you can even fathom."

_Mine_? He said I'm his, right? Oh my.

Logan shakes his head, wearily. "You're delusional, internet masked man."

"Assassin!" Spinelli shoves himself up, but even when he is on his feet he's unsteady, so I wrap my arm around his waist.

"Are you happy now, Logan? Why couldn't you just listen to me when I said I don't want to deal with you?"

"You mean you can't deal with me, don't you? Well , that's fine, good, all the better cause...I'm leaving town. So this...this is good bye. "

_He walks into the Metro Court and, at first sight, I just know he's pure trouble. Heaven. Hell. Pain. Joy. I should just run away from him... Cooper loves me...so why do I want his best friend before he even says hello? What's wrong with me...he isn't nice. He snarks at me and gives me that bad boy grin that's supposed to make everything all right...but it can't be. We can't be right- mixed together- not me and Logan. We're fire and ice. One always destroys the other._

While Logan is looking at me, waiting for me to say something to him before he walks out of my life forever, Spinelli starts to lose his balance. I pull him closer to my side. "Its okay. I got you. Lean on me."

"I'm out of here. Take good care of her, internet...whatever." He's shaking his head and looking in my eyes, silently begging me to end this some better way but I can't. "Maxie."

With that uttering of my name he backs away and then turns and jogs up the stairs. I whisper to Spinelli "Come on. I'm taking you home."

There's nothing I can do to change what happened with Logan, Cooper and Georgie...with Jesse...with Lucky...with BJ...but my life isn't over. There's still a little glimmer of hope in my world, and he is hanging onto me, looking like a drowned rat, as we shuffle to the street and catch a cab.


	23. Ghosts and Angels, last part

****

Ghosts and Angels

Part Two

"You have to get out of those wet clothes. You'll catch your..." the word death strangles itself in my throat and never makes its way out of my lips. I try to act cheery as I pull open Spinelli's drawers and rifle through his clothes. But I'm shivering and I can't stop. "Ugly. Dreadful. Hideous. This will ..._do, I guess_. We really have to get you to the mall. Your wardrobe -while being very you and cute in a Jackal sort of way- is just not now...and with fashion everything is now, you see? That's what I love about it! What happened last spring or last fall or even yesterday doesn't matter. Isn't that great? All that matters is the moment and what's new and fresh and what could happen next. Isn't that..." even as I babble like a fool I am seeing Spinelli swirling beneath the water, his life slipping away. I reach for him but miss. _Don't die. Don't leave me._ "Isn't that just perfect?"

"The Jackal concurs that there is something hopeful about always looking forward into the unknown horizon."

"Exactly! Because the past is gone. Its gone. So why dwell on it, right?"

_Don't see Georgie when you walk into Kelly's. Don't worry about where Logan is or if he hates you now. Don't think what if you had ran off to Canada with Coop. None of that matters anymore. Believe that. Believe your own lies, I_ beg my head and heart and soul. _Just believe. You can't pay for sins you can't remember. You won't ache if you just forget you ever loved anyone before._

Spinelli is sitting Indian style on his bed, getting the comforter soaking wet. I walk over and toss him the clothes I picked out. I can see a bruise forming around his eye. I reach out and brush my fingers over it. "Oh, Spinelli, look what knowing me got you. I'm sorry."

"Fear not. It's a badge of honor. I would glady bear twenty more- nay! One hundred and twenty more if they were earned protecting the Fair Maximista."

"You're really the best. You would get all bruised and bloody for me and then smile about it. How did I get so lucky to have you as a best friend?"

_Because your sister died_,Logan tells me in my head.

_Shut up!_ I shout back.

I swallow hard and step back from Spinelli. I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty over being with him. He's the only one who sees more light in me than dark. I will not let anyone...not even my own loudmouth voices in my head...steal that away from me.

"It is The Jackal that is lucky to know you, Maximista."

With a sad smile curving my lips, I turn around and order him "Change! I don't want you getting sick on my account."

"You need to change too. You are just as wet as The Jackal."

"I'll be fine. I don't matter."

A hand touches my shoulder. Looking back, I see Spinelli is only half dressed with no shirt on and his still wet pants. "You matter to me. The Maximista brightens my day and soothes my wounded ego. You used to just be The Bad Blonde One to The Jackal but not anymore. Though you are fierce when you are provoked and surely rate the name Bad...in strictly the toughest sense of the word...you are more than just that tough girl who can street fight with surely more aplomb that The Jackal. You matter. It crushes The Jackal to think you would ever doubt that."

He loves me. Its right there in his eyes and I wonder why I didn't know before tonight. But that's I lie. I knew. I just didn't want to know then.

I knew he loved me when he brought me flowers...I knew when I kissed him on the stakeout...I knew for months...but I didn't want to know. I wanted him to be my everything but not love me. Cause loving me will get him killed or make him broken. There are only two ways out of this: like Cooper and Jesse, into the ground, or like Lucky and Logan, into a bottle. If I care about Spinelli at all I should run away from this Penthouse, this regrettably pink room, from his life for good.

But his eyes, so dark and full of only sweetness, are too much to look away from. There's hope there. There's love. I need that now.

I'm selfish enough to know I'm killing him, that I will destroy another beautiful soul, and still do this anyway. I need him. He could have died tonight. He could have died without ever knowing...that my kisses were all real. I turn and press my lips to his again. My hands bury themselves in his damp hair, pushing errant strands back and soothing them down. If only it could always be like this...so simple and pure. If only I didn't know better than to ever fall in love again.

Spinelli pulls back. The moonlight flashes over his face as lightening strikes outside. "Maximista? Did you hear The Jackal's proclamation on the docks? Do you...do you realize now..."

I bring a finger to his lips. "Talking is overrated." I kiss him again and again and again, hoping that all the love he feels for me is enough to warm my frozen bones. I believe in him. Maybe he can work a miracle on me. I know I shouldn't ask for so much from him...when I have nothing left to give back...but he's Spinelli and I'm his Maximista. And maybe that makes it okay to be greedy. I don't know anything anymore. Just that the future is now and I need him.

My hands move in unison down his arms and then I clutch both his hands, as we keep kissing, exploring each other in a way we've never taken the time to in all our rushed kisses that weren't supposed to mean anything but always did anyway.

His kisses are tender, as if he is afraid he'll break me. There's something so gentle about him and the way he treats me. Somehow he's able to make me stay in the moment with him and not drift in my mind back to the docks or back to last month or last fall or the vault, the park. I'm just here. I know all that happened but its far away from this moment. This moment is reserved only for Spinelli and me. I want these kisses to just go on and on, because if I stand very still and hold his hand I won't have to be anyone but who he sees. And that woman...that Maximista the fashion goddess...she's pretty awesome. I like her.

Spinelli rests his forehead against mine and whispers "Is this real or just a fantasy in the waterlogged cranium of The Jackal? Or...am I dead ... are you my angel?"

"You're alive." I kiss his cheek and then the corner of his mouth and then whisper against his lips "You're alive, I swear."

When I'm not kissing him, I think about the water again...all his wild hair floating out in every direction as I reach for him and Logan's there and I fear, for just a moment, that we will all die there together. So I kiss Spinelli again, knowing he loves me and knowing he is doomed because of that, but a small part of me thinks maybe Spinelli will be the one that beats the odds. That I won't wreck him. That I'm somehow gonna be better tomorrow...on that unknown horizon he talked about...than I was yesterday.

I take his hand and lead him to the bed. My wet dress dips water droplets with every step I take. "Do you ...want me?"

"Maximista," he breaths out my name then swallows hard. His brown eyes are full of adoration that it makes my own brittle, near dead heart start to beat a little faster. "Maxie...only if you're sure. The Jackal could never live with being a regret or bad memory or mistake."

"You've got it wrong. It's the guys who regret me. Not the other way around."

Will he be my best friend tomorrow? God, I hope so. Don't take Spinelli too...just because I'm selfish and I asked for too much. He loves me. I need him. I'm his Maximista and he is mine. He's mine.

I've said that about other men before. It was always a curse. I pray to every angel in the sky that this time it is not.

"The Jackal would never regret you or anything...we share. But..." he takes a step back and looks around frantically for his shirt.

My head tilts to the side as I bite my lip till it bleeds. He doesn't want me. He's smart enough to know better.

"This seems to be the wrong order,' Spinelli mutters as he grabbed his wet t-shirt and tried to plaster it back on. I yanked it away and tossed to across the room then passed him the dry one. "Its dating first. Yes, I'm sure of it. I wrote this all down..."

Chuckling in relief, I ask "You want to date me? Are you serious?"

"Does the Maximista find that humorous?" he asks in a shaky voice.

"I find that...remarkable. Spinelli, I just told you that you could get lucky and instead of getting undressed you are putting more clothes on. Why? Haven't you ever heard of getting it while the getting is good?"

"I don't want to get you...I want to win The Maximista's heart. And I think...though I could be wrong and will check with Stone Cold and the Master of Romance Dr. Drake...I think I would be more likely to prove my worthiness to possess your heart if I invited you to a candle light dinner and gave you roses, as is the custom in North American mating rituals." He steps closer and brushes over my bottom lip with his thumb. "You're bleeding."

"I'm okay."

"You're wet and bleeding and...crying! Oh, The Jackal has bungled it this time!"

Spinelli started to pace. He pulls out some random sweat shirt and some pajama pants that didn't match and pushed them into my hands. "Here, you must change. Then the Fair Maximista should leave The Jackal to his own stupidity. I messed up everything and I am too unsavvy in the tenets of dating to even know how."

"Spinelli! Stop. These are happy tears, okay? I'm happy. You make me...happy."

"The Jackal does?"

"Yes, the Jackal...Damien Spinelli...he does." I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. And I only think about this moment. The ghosts in my head and the angels in my heart are still there but for right this second they are silent, because like with fashion, when it comes to me and Spinelli only this moment counts.

And that's just enough for me to handle right now.


	24. The Dark Side, Nikolas and Claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**The Dark Side, canon **

**August 2008**

**Rated R**

**Part One**

Every single cell in her body throbs with pain. Claudia does her best to shut off her mind- believing she is strong enough to not feel the bruises, not wince at the aches. There is no one on earth stronger than her.

Little lies help her get through the day, the hour, the moment- through her past and through this present pain.

Dragging herself out of the warehouse, she leaves behind two dead bodies. Its unknown who they belong to- what family or what enemy ordered her death. These guys were sloppy though; first they used her as a punching bag, then they let her get a gun away from one of them.

_One mistake and you're dead_, she learned that lesson right along with her abc's. The goons who attacked her had made one fatal mistake from the start: they had underestimated Claudia Antonia Zacchara. And paid for that with their lives.

Resting against the warehouse wall, Claudia tries to catch her breath, but breathing only makes it all hurt worst. She'd love to have someone there to lean on...except Claudia doesn't lean on anyone ever. She barrels her way through this life on her own- no matter how much it hurts, no matter how lonely it gets.

Inhaling sharply, she shoves the gun into the back of her waistband, and yanks out her cell phone. A moment later she's leaving a message for her brother. "Its me. I'm fine...but I won't be home for a few days. I love you. Be...be extra careful because...someone tried to kill me tonight and you might be next. Just...take care of yourself, John, please...bye."

She disconnects that call and places another, to a clean up crew that will dispose of the bodies. Then Claudia remembers the men who grabbed her earlier tonight had taken her purse. She tracks down the still idling car they were in and grabs it out of the back seat, reaches inside and pulls out her compact. The damage to her face is more severe than she hoped to see. But it will heal. It always does.

She does her best to wipe off some blood by her temple, then zips up her leather jacket to hide her blood stained shirt and takes off walking. Each step is an exercise in torture. But she doesn't focus on the physical agony she's feeling. Her mind is already clicking through suspects and plotting revenge.

By the time she makes it to the closest hotel that actually has a security staff, Claudia is limping and biting the inside of her mouth to keep from screaming out every time a sharp jolt of pain shoots through her mid-section. _Probably broke a rib,_ she thinks to herself, while pushing open the glass door of The Cosmopolitan.

She's desperate for a hot bath and some painkillers. It would also be nice to not feel like a hunted animal for five minutes. To feel safe, protected even, to be able to let her gaurd down. Claudia will have to settle for two out of three because she knows that even after she turns the lock on the door of her rented room, she will still be looking over her shoulder for the next ambush.

"I need a suite," she tells the clerk, ignoring the way he looks at her. She makes sure her stare is hard...so he doesn't dare offer to call an ambulance. She knows the number for 911 herself, she just won't be making the call. The last thing Claudia wants are the cops connecting her injuries to the two dead bodies that could one day wash up in the river. If the gaurds do their jobs right, that won't happen. But she doesn't trust her gaurds to not be incompetent. They were hired by her father, after all.

Claudia only trusts herself and Johnny. To trust anyone else, no matter how tempting, could end up being her fatal mistake.

From behind her, as she leans most of her weight on the counter, she hears her name. Claudia knows that voice, its deep timbre uniquely his own. He would sound formal even at a baseball game or barbecue. If he ever went to such a place, if he even knows those American traditions exist. He seems to be of another time and place, a better one, a more refined age...a time without the bloodshed and bankrupt morality that plagues Port Charles now. Or is it just her own life that is filled with those things?

Claudia turns and tries to smile at Nikolas, but she can't because even smiling causes pain to shoot through her. His eyes blaze with worry and anger at the sight of bruised face.

Moving close, he leans near her and then asks "Who did this to you?" Without even waiting for an answer Nikolas gingerly wraps his arm around her waist, taking her weight onto him, and says "We're going to the hospital."

"No."

His eyes connect with hers. "Why not?" She can tell he hates to have his judgements questioned, another thing they have in common.

"I have a room," Claudia tells him. "Upstairs."

The clerk passes her a card and tells her the room number.

In an incredulous tone, Nikolas says "Well unless that room is staffed with doctors, nurses, bandages needles and thread I don't think it is going to be adequate accommodations in your present situation."

"I'll be fine." She starts to limp toward the elevator.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Nikolas walks over to her and says "Allow me." He lifts her right off her feet and carries her all the way to her room. In the elevator she asks what he is doing at the hotel anyway, at such a late hour too, and he tersely tells her "A meeting."

After Nikolas sits her on the bed, he removes his suit jacket and tosses it aside.

Claudia says "You didn't have to carry me. I could walk."

"Have you seen yourself, Claudia? You're quite injured. We need to call the authorities."

"The cops? That's not the way I do business."

"This _business _you are in is going to one day end your life, if you continue on the way you are. You have been stabbed and now you have been beaten. And that is only what I know about. You told me you used to live in Rome. Do you think... it is about time for you to go back there? I could arrange a flight for you on my jet as soon as you are able to travel."

"Trying to get rid of me already?" Claudia attempts to joke, but it falls flat, and her half- chuckle becomes a strangled sound of pain.

This sets Nikolas into motion. Shaking his head in muted anger, he goes into the bathroom and brings back a warm wash cloth. Claudia tries to take it from him, but he doesn't allow her to, instead he gently wipes away the dried blood on her face. His other hand brushes her hair back. She can't get enough of looking in his eyes...wondering what he sees when he looks at her.

Whenever they are in a room together, she knows she is not the only one around with a tortured soul, with demons and devils chasing around her mind. Nikolas knows loss. He knows heartbreak. He knows despair, and madness and rage. But the only difference that Claudia can see between them is that Nikolas has not lost all hope. He may think he will never love again but he still believes in romantic love and soulmates and that fairytales can come true- even if they do sometimes end too soon.

Claudia never believed in any of that. Not even now...sitting next to an in- the- flesh, old world, Russian Prince. Still he does make her believe in something. He makes her believe in him. Its more than she has done with any man, outside of her brother, in over a decade.

But believing he is pure hearted and noble doesn't change the fact that she isn't. He's much better than the men who move around in her world, making Nikolas Cassadine much too good to be around her. This thought causes Claudia to jerk away from him, and take the wash cloth into her own hand. "I can handle it."

"You say that often."

"Yeah, so?" She struggles to unzip her jacket, grimacing in pain as she drags the zipper down.

"I have no doubt you can handle any challenge that is presented to you. You obviously survived whatever kind of battle you were in tonight. Still...no one can handle everything alone. The times that I have attempted to do so have all ended up abysmally. I need my Aunt Alexis, my grandmother, my brother and sister, my cousins, Alfred and my staff. I even need my former stepfather Luke sometimes, as much as it pains me to admit. I would not be able to accomplish the things I do, to take care of Spencer, to open the clinic and control my family's holdings without help from a myriad of people. Its fine to rely on someone sometimes. It doesn't make you weak, Claudia. It doesn't make you less."

"Not in your world. But I don't live in your world."

Their eyes hold onto each other, a battle of wills and stubbornness, until Nikolas drops his gaze to the blood stain on her white top. He can't possibly know its not her blood, but the blood of the men she killed less than an hour before. "You need to get changed. I'm sure there is a robe in the bathroom you could put on while I send out for clothes."

"Don't bother. I'll have a gaurd bring me a bag in the morning. But thank you...thanks for the offer. You're sweet."

God, he is a _good_ man. One of the last one's left around. She longs to reach out to him, to ask him to hold her, heal her, understand what makes her tick, to hold back her nightmares for one night. It goes against her normal instincts to want this, but Claudia can not help it...she's just a woman at her core...and there is not a woman alive who doesn't see the charm in Prince Nikolas Cassadine. But to let him in her heart would be giving into weakness and Claudia refuses to do that.

She knows he shouldn't even be anywhere near her."You should go now. I'm just gonna take a bath and crash."

"Can you manage it? The bath, I mean, alone."

"Want to scrub my back?"

Nikolas reaches out his hand, not saying a word. Her mouth goes dry and she simply stares at him, the seconds clicking loudly on her watch, its face now smashed- another casualty of this night. With slow deliberation, unsure of what she is agreeing to, Claudia takes his hand.


	25. Nikolas and Claudia, part two

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Story One**

**The Dark Side, canon **

**August 2008**

**Part Two**

**Rated R**

Nikolas feels Claudia's hand slide into his, and he gently helps her get to her feet.

It feels familiar to take care of her because, after all, this is how they started their friendship. Since then they have bumped into each other around town, and shared a drink at The Metro Court, and played baccarat for high stakes one night on The Haunted Star. But they aren't dating, and they can't fall in love.

He will never love again. _Never_, he tells himself this everyday- as if his mantra keeps Emily alive in some small way. He's speaking in his head to a ghost that is long gone now. She's somewhere loving him...somewhere but no longer by his side anymore. Nikolas tries to accept this and each day that passes he thinks maybe he is, just a fraction, closer to be healed. And other times he is convinced he never will be whole again.

Though he is sure he can not love, he does feel...he feels anger that Claudia has been hurt by some nameless, faceless monster of a man, and he feels longing to ease her pain, he feels her hopelessness and wants to replace it with hope. Maybe one day he will find a way to do that. For tonight it is her body that needs his attention.

In the bathroom, Claudia knots her eyebrows together and watches him, her eyes filled with a mixture of suspicion and trust. It's the oddest combination, but it's her. She is desperate to be perceived as possessing innumerable reserves of strength. But, Nikolas knows all too well, no one is that strong.

Everyone falls down. Everyone breaks sometimes. He has before. He will again. Claudia has and she will again. Only she will not admit it when it happens and will think that means it never did.

He starts the water to fill the tub. Nikolas opens the complimentary shampoo and empties it into the water. "I can help you undress...or look away...whichever makes you more comfortable."

"I ain't shy."

Nikolas notices she visibly swallows right after saying this, a small tell. He nearly smiles when he learns she has one, and finds himself looking for it to happen again after that. Gently he eases off her leather jacket. He walks into the other room and places it on the back of a chair. When he comes back she is sitting down, trying to take off her boots. Her skin is flushed and she grunts in pain. He kneels and replaces her hands with his own, gently tugging off each shoe. Standing up, he bites his lip right before his hands skim the bottom of her shirt.

"I can..." she says but as soon as tries Claudia shudders in pain and lets out a low curse.

Nikolas waits for her to recover, and look up at him. "I think you know by now you can trust me...so trust me, Claudia. Trust me to help you."

He is careful as he attempts to lift her shirt off but when a tear streams down her face, Nikolas knows that he is failing her. He turns off the water, and then heads out into the bedroom and calls down to the front desk. They bring a pair of scissors. He cuts the shirt off of her, and tosses the stained rag into the trash. Claudia sits before him in a bra and jeans. He can now see just how battered her body is. There are discolored bruises of different shades on her shoulders, and arms and stomach. Seeing how she's hurt sends a cold rage shimmering through him, but he pushes it back. Right now he needs to ease her discomfit, not think about what seeing her like this is doing to himself.

She pops opens the button on her jeans. His hands move to her thighs and tugs them downward, revealing lacy red boy shorts. Claudia stands, while he is still kneeling, and suddenly his face is even with her stomach. It raises the intimacy level, and Nikolas has to force himself to keep his mind on the task at hand.

She's slightly shivering when he steps behind her and unlatches her bra. Her hands move up to catch the front of it, holding it against her for a moment.

Close to her ear, he whispers "If you think you can manage alone I'll leave now."

"No," she breathes out quickly. "You can stay. Its okay." Claudia lets the bra fall to the ground. Her eyes flutter close when his hands grasp her panties.

Trust. It's a funny thing. How it grows out of thin air. How it changes everything. Nikolas sees her trust the same way he sees precious jewels- rare and magnificent.

Slowly, he gets her into the bath and her gorgeous, though injured, body slides beneath the bubbles. She leans her head back and lets out a long breath. "This feels good."

He finds a fresh wash cloth and wets it, then lifts her hand and wipes away faint traces of blood.

"What happened tonight?"

"What always happens. Someone tried to kill me. No big deal."

"That isn't something to be cavalier about."

"I deserved it. Its part of the lifestyle I live."

"No...no, Claudia, no one deserves something like this."

"That's where you are wrong, Nikolas. Some people do. I know those people. I am one of those people.

"So that's it? You shoot them and they shoot you? You kill them and you wait for them to kill you? Is that really all you want for your life?"

"Its not about what I want. Its about what I can have."

"You can have it all!"

Her eyes met his and hold. "Oh yeah? Whose gonna give it to me? You? Cause if I have to go out and get it for myself. Then this," she touched a cut on her face "is how I'm gonna do it."

He shakes his head and looks down. "It's a waste of a beautiful life."

After a moment, she says "The only beautiful person I see in this room is you."

His hand dips into the water and then moves up to run through her hair, she exhales and then leans her face into his caress. He wonders if she has ever done that before with anyone else...leaned on them for just a moment and knew she was completely safe.

XXXXXXXXXX

Later Claudia is wrapped in a white robe and laying on the bed. Nikolas called Liz and she came over to check on Claudia, leaving the kids with her grandmother.

When Liz leaves, Claudia takes some pills to kill some of the pain and make her sleep. She says "I'll be good as new in the morning...or in a few mornings from now. Whatever."

He picks up his suit jacket. "I'll let you rest."

"You're leaving?" her tone is startled, and she half rises out of bed.

"I wouldn't want to impose on you, Claudia, and hover around as you try to sleep."

"Only you would call it imposing on_ me _when you're helping me out. But that's cool...I don't want to keep you from your kid."

"Spencer is fine. He has his nanny, if he requires anything in the middle of the night."

"Still you should go. See you around, Prince."

"Would you...would you like me to stay?"

"Nah. I can handle it."

_I can handle it. I can handle it. I can handle it. _Nikolas realizes this must be her mantra, like his is _I will never love again_. Repeat ten times every day when you wake up and every night before you go to bed, and all day long when anyone asks how you are doing or what is the weather, and then maybe...just maybe...hopefully...the words will become true and you will be okay again- that seemed to be the theory they were both working off of. She would _handle _everything, and not die in a useless mob war. And he would _never love again_, and not lose his very soul when the person he counted on most disappears.

"You can handle it. Yes, we've established that," Nikolas says "Still, for safety sake, I better stay. You could have a concussion. We better not risk it."

She smiles, ruefully, and inches over to make room for him. Once he has taken off his shoes is settled next to her on the bed, sitting up while she is curled on her side facing him, she says "Everything hurts, Nikolas."

"I know...I know it does." He slides down so that he is on his side. "Close your eyes."

"For what?"

"Do you have to be so suspicious?"

"Can't help it. Its just my nature."

He whispers "Close your eyes, Claudia."

This time she does, but jokes "Gonna tell me a bed time story?" She tries to laugh and then says "Ouch," and touches her ribs. Still her eyes stay closed.

Nikolas just stares at her for a minute. The lines of her cheeks, the fullness of her lips, the way her hair is wild now because it got wet. Then he leans forward, and as soft as a butterfly wings flapping, he kisses the bruise on her jaw. Then the one on her temple, on her cheek, on her throat. He adjusts his body so he can lean over and kiss the cuts on her hand, lifting each one and bringing it to his mouth.

These kisses are not full of lust, or hunger, or need to taste her and quench his own desires. They are gifts, his way of trying to start a healing process in this torn apart woman who lays next to him. Someone who he shouldn't care about, knowing all he does, someone who he shouldn't understand, but he does understand her all the same.

Nikolas lays back down beside her, watching her again, and not planning to take things any further. But Claudia, with her eyes still close, undoes the belt for her robe. His eyes brush over her exposed skin- seeing beauty and seeing pain. His gut clenches at the sight. Ever so tenderly he lays kisses on the bruises over her mid-section, never lingering long at each one, just brushing his lips over the spot where she was violated and moving on. One of her hands come up to tangle in his hair, and she lets out a small moan...because every movement she makes, he can tell, adds to her pain and yet she wants to touch him enough to endure it.

When he glances up, her eyes are open and they met his. He slides up next to her. He would like to be able to hold her in his arms, to give her that small measure of comfort, but he is afraid it would hurt her to be held right now. So he instead intertwines their fingers.

She asks "Why are you so good to me? Don't you know what I am?"

"What are you, Claudia?"

"I'm the darkest woman you are ever going to meet. There's nothing light inside of me. There's nothing to like."

"Perhaps I like the dark side."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Eventually Claudia falls asleep. Nikolas stays up, watching her and the clock, and brooding over the situation Claudia was in earlier that night. Its not right that she is in this crazy mob life and that she's constantly at risk the way she is.

Yet he can't tell her how to conduct her life. All he can do is be her friend.

He doesn't have more to offer right now. And if he did, it wouldn't make much sense to offer to share his life with her. To bring his son closer to the mob world than he already was by having Sonny for an Uncle and Sonny's child for a cousin.

He knows all that. Still having that knowledge does not change the fierce protectiveness that wells up inside of him when he looks at her asleep next to him in bed. He wonders if she might like to see Greece. Maybe if they went away for a while then whatever was going on with the mob would die down.

Nikolas can't be sure if he is only making excuses to spend time with her or if he's acting in pure friendship, because everything when it comes to how he feels about Claudia is a twisted maze through his head and his heart that he can't quite follow yet, but his idea makes sense to him. He'll suggest the trip in the morning.

For tonight, he'll just watch her as she sleeps, her black hair fanned onto the pillow and the moonlight falling over her tanned skin. Emotions he doesn't want to acknowledge start to bubble up in him, and the panic of feeling so much, makes him think:

_If I ever fall in love again, it won't be with her._

Somewhere in the distance, on that hot August night, a voice catches on a breeze and carries its way right into that room; Nikolas is sure he hears Emily saying _Too late_.

**THE END**


	26. The Good Life, 3M

Week Twenty Six Words

3M

Premise- Cooper left town on the same day he walked in on Maxie and Logan in bed together. Years later, Maxie still can't forget about Three.

**The Good Life**

**August, 2012**

The last thing Maxie Jones needed was for one more person to come along and piss her off. She was having the freaking worse day of her life ever. Well not really _ever ever _but there was no way she was going there in her mind right now. Today sucked. Case closed. She wanted to go home and die.

But everyone knows she never gets what she wants.

She spit out a curse word at the top of her lungs while standing on a street corner in New York city.

"You can't be smoking in public."

Maxie cut her eyes at the jerk standing next to her but kept puffing away.

"Did you hear me, lady?" he repeated "You can't smoke in this city unless you are in your own apartment. You're breaking all sorts of laws and polluting the air we all have to use. Put it out! You trying to kill yourself or what?"

"Trying," she said, with a little tilt of her head from side to side, "but I'm like the energizer bunny. I just never...die."

"Well, you ain't killing me with that cancer stick. Put it out now or I'm calling a cop."

"All right, all right. Shut up already."

She flicked the cigarette to the ground and smashed it under her heel. The doctors said she was just asking for trouble by smoking with her heart condition. So she didn't smoke _that often _but today was one of those nothing can go right days and she had desperately needed one.

Not only did she spot her ex- boyfriend, Federico, outside a book store looking all happy -the nerve of that man to smile now that they were broken up- but he was also holding hands with someone else. A male someone else. She had turned him gay! That revelation came right after she was fired from Couture magazine after a debacle at a fashion show. One little backstage fire and her boss went and freaked out. That hardly seemed fair.

_Giselle acted like I did it on purpose,_ Maxie thought to herself. _Like I meant to set a rack of gowns on fire. Who knew that cigarette wasn't completely out when I threw it in the trash can? I was in a rush to get Melanie on stage because that skinny heifer was running behind like she always does. She would have missed her cue if not for me. Do I get any recognition for that? Hell no. Kate was totally right about Giselle. She's a first rate biatch._

Maxie headed across the traffic packed street and straight into a high priced hotel. Taking the elevator to the top floor, she found the glitzy bar the hotel was famous for. Since it was mid-afternoon the place was dead. She took a seat on a stool and ordered another drink, wishing the whole time that they still let people smoke wherever they pleased in this country. Talk about unfair.

An hour later she was still sitting there, nursing her third gin and tonic, and thinking about what in the hell she was supposed to do now. Run back to Mac and Port Charles? Her credit cards were maxed out. She couldn't afford to live long in this expensive ass city without some form of income.

The last five years had been rough. But then again, what ever wasn't rough in her life? She had struggled to get a job in the fashion world, struggled to keep her job, struggled to break into the big leagues at Couture and fought like a tiger every day not to get kicked out. And that was just her professional life. Her romantic one? Don't even ask. Yes, it was _that_ bad.

For a moment, right after she took a sip of her drink, she thought back to one of her favorite memories: a rare good day in a lifetime of miserable ever after.

_She ripped off his mask. Finally she can see more than just his eyes. She can't help but want him...he looks too good to resist, so she won't even try to. He might be holding her captive but she doesn't give a damn. She wants to be with him and, if she lives through this night, that is exactly what she plans to do- make him hers and to hell with the consequences_. _But first she will have to learn his real name. Three. She smiles. Maybe she'll just call him Mine and be done with it._

Sitting at the bar, years after that life changing night trapped in the vault, Maxie felt butterflies flutter up her spine at the thought of Cooper Barret. She knew she should hate him for leaving her behind. But she only hated herself for making him do it.

The last day she saw him felt like the last day she was truly real. Losing Coop made her lose that piece of herself that allowed her to trust in love to last forever. That is what ruined things with Logan, with Spinelli, with Matt, with Lucky- the second time around- and finally with Federico, at least on her end since he obviously had secrets of his own that kept him from loving her back.

Maxie had given Cooper her heart on a platter and he held onto it, even when he walked right out of her world. She still remembered how her body shook and the tears fell when she found the note in his room above Kelly's._ I love you but_...it had started..._I just can't do this anymore_. _I won't be second in your heart._

It hadn't seemed real then. Though she had been doing her damn level best to ruin them she still hadn't thought she would drive him away. She had wanted to prove the exact opposite- that their love was forever, that he would stay no matter what. But he hadn't. Cooper left Port Charles just hours after walking in on her having sex with his best friend.

She had missed him something vicious. Everything was ugly with Cooper gone. The sky was black, the very air she breathed tasted rotten in her mouth, and the worst part was no one else noticed...no one else was dead inside, only her.

_Snap out of it,_ Maxie told herself, _No time to sit here and wallow. I'm much too fierce to be all weepy over a long lost boyfriend. Bitch, please. All that hearts and flowers stuff is for losers who need constant stroking of their egos. Not for divas who know they're the cutest thing in high heels this city has ever seen_. _It doesn't matter that I got fired! I can get a new job. Who wouldn't want me working for them...I just won't use Giselle as a reference. And who cares about my string of messed up relationships. I don't have to mourn Coop forever. I really don't care if I ever see him again. Nope. Don't care a bit_.

Lies in the afternoon washes down well with ice cold gin.

(_Everybody's got something_

_they had to leave behind._

_One regret from yesterday,_

_that just seems to_

_grow with time._

_  
There's no use looking back_

_or wondering_

_(wondering)_

_  
how it could be now_

_or might have been _

_(or might have been)._

_  
All this I know_

_but _

_still I can't find ways to let you go!) _

She gulped down the rest of her drink, and with the glass still touching her lips, she heard a deep rumbling voice that set her body on vibrate, whisper in her ear "Maria Maximiliana Jones, it has been a while."

The glass slipped from her shaking hand and broke on the bar. She never heard it shatter because she was too lost in her head thinking..._But it can't be. My dreams don't come true_.

Maxie turned around to see six feet of perfect male hard body standing in front of her. The effect was just as visceral as the first time she saw him without his mask on. Her heart beat in triple time. There was life before Cooper, and life after Cooper, but the best times of her life...was life with Cooper.

Looking at the broken glass, he reached out and took her hand, to see if she was bleeding "Are you okay? Did you cut yourself? Looks alright to me."

He let go of her. He wore a dark blue suit and his hair was slicked back- very business man chic. He stuck his hands in his pockets and his lips turned up in a sexy, confident grin. His eyes watched hers, looking for any sort of reaction, but when she didn't say a word he finally asked "You aren't going to slap me? That's good."

She slapped his arm. "What are you doing here?! Oh my God, Coop, I can't even believe this...its you. Why are you in the city? Do you live here now? Where have you been all this time? And why didn't you ever call me? I know when you left Port Charles...you left_ me_...so that's probably a stupid question. Why call the girl who screwed you over, right? Right! But here you are and you look..._good. _Am I talking too much? It sort of feels like I am. God...just shut up, Maxie. _Okay._"

She didn't know what this feeling inside of her was called. It was foreign...she'd felt it once a long time ago...happy? It was more than happy. Giddy. That was it. She knew she was smiling from ear to ear, probably looking like a complete fool but she didn't care.

And she was thinking the same thing she did five years before when she pulled off his mask_: Mine, mine, mine._

(_I never had a dream come true  
till the day that I found you_

_  
Even though _

_I pretend that I've moved on  
you'll always be my baby._

_  
I never found the words to say  
you're the one I think about each day  
and I know no matter_

_where life takes me to  
a part of me will always _

_be with you_.)


	27. 3M, part two

**Part Two**

Cooper said, as he stood in front of Maxie at the hotel bar, "I don't know which question to answer first. How about...why am I here? I live in the city now. I work in advertising. An old army buddy got me the job and taught me the ropes. I'm actually supposed to be meeting him here for a drink in a few minutes. What about you? What brings you to New York? You look amazing, Maxie... beautiful and grown up."

She looked down at her dress. "Oh, yeah, well...this is my working girl outfit but since I got fired today I guess I won't be wearing it anytime again soon."

"Sorry to hear that."

"It doesn't matter. Who needs Couture anyway? They've sucked ever since Kate Howard left. I'll find something else. It doesn't really matter...wow." She looked him up and down. "You still suck the air right out of my lungs. How do you do that? Must be a hell of a gene pool you come from. You would make beautiful babies, I bet."

_Did I just say the words _make babies _to him_? Maxie asked herself_. Oh my hell, stop talking now before you chase him off for another five years_.

Cooper smiled. "Thank you."

"Do you have any? Babies?"

_Please say no. Please say no. Please say no_, she silently begged him.

"No."

She smiled "Oh, me either. My figure would never come back from that. The stretch marks, the bloating, the fat feet and ankles. I look good in sandals, you know? I can't compromise that."

He chuckled.

She wanted to throw her arms around him and never leave go. Force him to keep standing right in front of her for life so she could feel like she did in that moment.

(_Somewhere in my memory_

_I've lost all sense of time._

_  
And tomorrow can never be_

_cause _

_yesterday is all that fills my mind._

_  
There's no use looking back_

_or wondering _

_(or wondering)._

_  
How it should be now_

_or might have been _

_(or might have been)._

_  
Oh this I know _

_but still I can't_

_find ways to let you go_)

"Can I sit?" Cooper motioned to the stool next to hers.

"Sure! Squeeze on in. I don't bite- unless you ask nicely."

He smiled and she could have kissed him right then and there. She really didn't care about any of the time they had been apart, about her broken, bruised, bitter dried up heart or that she was terrified of believing in love again. All she cared about is that Cooper Barret was close enough for her to reach out and touch.

Suddenly she was having the best day ever..._ever ever_.

Cooper sat down and ordered a drink. "So how long ago did you leave Port Charles?"

"About four years now. Wow, that makes me feel old! But I'm not thirty yet and everyone knows that's when the real decline sets in."

"Not for you."

Her eyes lit up and she simply stared at his profile, her eyes lovingly memorizing every inch of him.

(_You'll always be the dream_

_that fills my head._

_  
Yes you will, _

_say you will, _

_you know you will, oh baby._

_  
You'll always be_

_the one I know I'll never forget._

_  
There's no use looking back or wondering_

_(or wondering)._

_  
Because love is a strange and funny thing_

_(and funny thing)._

_  
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye, no no no no._)

Cooper turned and met her eyes. "You know...I thought I was seeing things when I walked in here and spotted you."

"Let me guess. Seeing a nightmare come back to haunt you?"

"No...not even in the ballpark."

"Oh, well, that's good. Cause we are adults now, you know, have real jobs and apartments and can't party all night and sleep in above the diner type adults, so we should be able to forgive and forget such a silly thing as what happened to break us up."

Softly he said "I'll never forget, Maxie. How could I?"

"I don't know. Try real, real hard, maybe? Spinelli is always telling me that the mind has all this untapped brainpower and that if we could just harness it there is, like, nothing we can't do."

"Maybe that's true but...everything changed for me that day. I changed when I lost you. I'll never be the guy I was on that day again. If you only knew how many times I kicked myself for letting my wounded pride get the best of me. I left town thinking I could leave you and Logan behind...I ended up taking you both every place I went. Is he living here now too? You guys have a place together?"

"Logan? No. He's back in Port Charles still. Domesticated, if you can believe it. Georgie had a good effect on that loser. Got him back in school and...get this...he's about to become a lawyer...if he passes the bar next year. Being married to my sister is the best thing to ever happen to him."

"He married Georgie? And...you're fine with that?"

"Yeah, well, what can I do? Shoot him? It would ruin my dress," Maxie said. "Logan and I had some insane times together but we basically burned out pretty fast...it became really hard to look at him for a while but I got over it and it was like two years later, after Georgie came back from her semester abroad and found out he took her advice about going to PCU, that they got together. I was pretty amazed she could put up with him. They're happy together and anyone that can make my sister smile gets to stick around as long as she wants him too. Since she is knocked up, I'm guessing that she's gonna be keeping Logan by her side for a good long time...probably forever, cause she really buys into that fairytale stuff. We're princesses you know and she always wondered why she never found her prince. I told her_ Kiss a frog_. Logan was her frog."

Cooper stared at her for a long minute, as confusion gave way to relief. "You didn't end up with Logan? Hmm..and to think we could have all been having Thanksgiving together each year if I would have known I could visit Port Charles without sleeping on the couch while you two shared a bed. Cause I'll never be that much of an adult."

"You wanted to visit me...us, I mean?"

"Of course."

"I wish you would have...I really wish you would have, Coop."

He gave her a sad smile. Just then a man walked over to them and said "Barret, sorry I'm late. Got caught up in Wilken's office on that Tyco account. You wanna grab a table?" He looked back and forth between Maxie and Cooper. "Am I interrupting something here?" He held out his hand to Maxie. "Hi, I'm Mark Thompson. Me and this old guy here go way back. I'm always trying to fix him up with lovely ladies but he's never interested...what have you had, Coop? One relationship in the last three years. Sad, buddy..." He looked at Maxie again. "If you figured out a way to get him to stop being all about work then more power to you. I won't interrupt. Cause God only knows how long his dry spell might last if you don't give him your phone number right now."

"Thompson," Cooper said "stop, seriously. I don't need a wing man, all right?"

"Yeah, buddy, you do. Cause you never give anyone a chance. She's beautiful. Don't play aloof. Its not hot."

"Thompson! Enough...I want you to meet...Maxie Jones."

Thompson straightened a little. "Maxie? The Maxie?" He smiled. "Its great to meet you. Great!" He kissed her cheek, which startled Maxie a little.

She said "Oh, okay."

Thompson said "I feel like we're family. How is that old dog Hayes doing?"

"Happily married," she said.

"Congratulations. Tell him he owes me a beer. We bet he'd get locked down before me. He swore he wasn't the type though. Always was the biggest liar I know. I miss that guy. Don't you, Barret? I know! Road trip! We can drive you back to your hubby, Maxie. What do you say? When are you heading home?"

"I'm not. I live here now. And if I had ever married Logan we wouldn't be living happily ever after...we'd be on America's Most Wanted...whichever one survived the carnage would be on the run, for sure."

Thompson chuckled and then looked at Cooper. "You know what? I got to get back to the office. It was great seeing you, Maxie...just great. I hope I get to see you again real soon, if you get my drift."

"Go back to work, Thompson. You've embarrassed us both more than enough already today."

Mark Thompson smiled and said to Maxie "If you do talk to Hayes, tell him if he's ever in the city to call over to Garrison Advertising. I'm not letting him welch on that beer he owes me."

"Okay. I'll be sure to get right on that," Maxie said. "It was good to meet you. Its good to know Coop has an old friend around to look out for him."

"Well now he has two old friends around. Lucky Coop, huh?" He winked at her and left.

After Thompson walked away, Cooper said "I'm sorry. He means well."

"Its fine. No big deal! He seems like a nice guy, if a little hyper but he's really tame compared to Spinelli so its not like he bothered me in the least."

"You mentioned Spinelli a couple times before. Are you close with him now? As I remember, you two didn't get along."

"Oh, well, you know...things change. One day I woke up and it just felt like I was all alone. Georgie went to Europe and Robin had her first baby and Logan was all about Lulu again and you were...gone forever, I was sure. Spinelli was there though. I was supposed to keep an eye on him for my sister but it became more than that...I fell for him. Crazy, huh?"

"Yeah...I never would have predicted that."

"It didn't last long. Georgie came back and what seemed so right felt really wrong after one look in my sister's eyes. But then again...nothing ever felt totally right with any guy...but you. I know I totally blew that though. You dumped me and left and I deserved that, I did! I know it. But...it didn't stop me from missing you or from hating all the women I imagined were getting to love you when I couldn't. I only hoped you'd look at them...at my replacements...and think : Not good enough. Because that's what I was thinking when I looked at anyone who wasn't you."

He smiled, slightly. "You've always were great on my ego."

"Till the end, right? And then not so much."

"Its over. The past is the past. I'll always carry it but I don't want it to be stuck between us, Maxie. We both live here now and I don't know about you...but I'd like to have my friend back."

"I'd like that too, Coop. I'd like it a lot."

He nodded. They ordered so more drinks and talked for a couple of hours. Finally they paid the tab and rode the elevator to the ground floor. Standing outside the hotel, Cooper hailed a cab. "Going downtown?"

"Up."

"Oh...so...I want you to know...I really enjoyed seeing you today."

"Good. Cause I loved every single freaking second of seeing you."

"Yeah?'

She held up her hand and pointed to her ring finger. "You know why this finger is bare? Not cause of my parents and how their legendary love affair scarred me for life against marriage and happy ever after...because of you. Because...Coop...if I was ever gonna let someone put a ring on my finger, that someone had to be my Three...everyone else: Not good enough."

She saw tears come into his eyes, and her heart felt like it expanded so much she just might die, happily, right there on that New York sidewalk.

(_I never had a dream come true  
till the day that I found you._

_  
Even though I pretend that _

_I've moved on  
you'll always be my baby_.)

Cooper pulled Maxie into a hug. He whispered "I'm sorry I stayed away. I thought if I came back...I'd mess up your good life."

She looked up at him, right into the eyes she had loved even when they were behind a mask, and said "You're my good life...the only one I ever knew before...and the one I really hope I can get back now."

Cooper bent down and brought his lips to hers in a soul healing kiss.

_HONK._

"You getting in the cab or what, lady? I don't got all day."

"Shut up!" Maxie cried "Can't you see I'm having a moment here."

Cooper laughed, picked her up off her feet, and kissed her for so long that the cabbie drove away.

(And I know no matter where life takes me to  
A part of me will always be...  
A part of me will always be with you, oooohhh. ) (S Club 7)

**THE END**


	28. Vixenella

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Vixenella**, canon

**November 2008**

**Rated PG**

Claudia couldn't help but smirk when she walked onto The Haunted Star. The motley bunch gathered there looked less than thrilled to see her. But what could she expect? Other than her beloved brother, she only had one friend in this whole town and that was Damian Spinelli. Everyone else saw her as a pariah. She gave the room a snarky little wave, playing up her role to the hilt, and then said hello to Spinelli.

He stood in front of the bar, next to what looked like a covered art exhibit: a white sheet draped over a large canvas board. Sonny was sitting on a stool, nursing soda water and looking pissed off, while Carly and Jason stood off to the side, with their bodies angled toward each other as they spoke in hushed tones. Maxie, in one of her junior executive wannabe dresses, was next to Lulu, who sported jeans and a PCU t-shirt.

Sonny broke the silence. "She's here. Can we do this now or what?"

Spinelli smiled, waving his arms around, and said "Now that we are all in residence, such as it may be, I shall reveal to you the motive behind my calling you all to this vessel of chance, this maiden of intrigue, this floating harbinger of hopes and dreams and fortunes and tragedies-"

"Get on with it!" Sonny told him.

Claudia gave him a hard look. "Hey, chill, all right. Let him talk."

"You call that talking?" Sonny asked

Maxie glared at Sonny, as if he was a bug under her high heel. "Leave him alone. Just because he is genius and you are jealous-"

"Jealous? Are you freaking kidding me? _Jealous_. Yeah, right" Sonny said.

Maxie went on as if he hadn't spoken "-doesn't mean you get to take it out on Spinelli."

"The Jackal is honored that the Fair Maximista would stick up for me in a such a bold and frank manner but Mr. Sir has nothing to be jealous of The Jackal over. We all are the possessors of our own unique skill sets of strength and weakness that makes us each in our own manner and time kings and queens, prince and princesses, the rulers and the servants of our own destinies. Mr. Sir has his own ways to be glorious that might not require...as much...shall I say...cranial fortitude as the pursuits of The Jackal but that doesn't necessarily indicate that -"

"I'm out of here!" Sonny said. "He's just babbling again now."

"No, no, no," Spinelli cried, throwing his hands out. "Do not depart so hastily. You have not even seen the creation for which I asked you here to observe."

"Go ahead," Jason told Spinelli.

Sonny sat back down.

Spinelli said "Well this day has been a long time in the making, and has been challenged by many obstacles, sometimes seeming insurmountable, but The Jackal preserved and I owe my ability to rise again and again, after being trampled down and even facing disasters like a virus taking over my beloved laptop and coming down with a near killer virus of the human sort...to all of you. For each one of you, in your own way, have taught me how to become a stronger Jackal, a warrior in my own private crusade. And for that The Jackal bids you a hearty thanks and my unabiding gratitude!!"

He bowed. Then he held out a hand toward Lulu. "My Blonde One, it was you that first endeavored to include The Jackal into your personal circle of trust and you Vixenellla...you saved The Jackal's pride first, by rescuing me from a night spent on the docks in a drunken haze caused by the grapes of the Gods, and then you, along with Stone Cold, saved The Jackal's very life when you rushed me to the hospital. Without your kindness, there would be no Jackal. I must also not forget The Valkryie, who has lost so much in such a short time but still carries on with grace-"

"Thank you, Damian, that's sweet of you to say but we all know that I've had my bad moments, too, lately" Carly said.

"You have made The Jackal feel like one of the family, which brings me to Stone-"

"Is he gonna do every one of us?" Sonny asked. "Seriously, we know! Jason was good to you. Maxie's...great, whatever. She takes pity on you. Dresses you better. And I'm Mr. Sir Corinthos Sir whatever, whatever, whatever. Either tell us why we are here or let's call this a day."

"Man," Claudia said "why are you so rude? He doesn't deserve to be spoken to that way. You get off on picking on people smaller than you? You want to take on someone...you take on me."

"I already did and it left a bad taste in my mouth," Sonny said. " I'm not looking to ever touch you again."

"The feeling's mutual," Claudia said.

"You rolling around in the sheets with this freaky boy now...kinky...that your thing?"

"Mr. Sir! I can not allow you to disparage Vixenella's good name in such a discourteous manner."

"You're really gross, Sonny," Maxie said. "Do you kiss Kate with that filthy mouth? You're the sick freak, you ask me."

"Watch it, Maxie," Lulu warned. "Why don't you think first and talk never? Kate wouldn't appreciate you talking about her fiancee that way."

"You stick up for Sonny and not Spinelli," Maxie complained. "Typical of you. Little Lost Lulu, what's your latest problem? Can't figure out who to love and who to crush this week? Don't tell me you think Sonny is more worthy of your affections that Spinelli?"

"I didn't say anything like that," Lulu protested. "Spinelli knows how I feel about him."

"That he's your house pet?" Maxie asked "Yes, he knows."

"Hey!" Claudia said to them. "You wanna take your little girl fight somewhere else or shut the hell up? Spinelli was trying to show up all something."

"I'll talk when I want to," Lulu said.

"Mouthing off to me is a good way to get knocked into next week," Claudia told her.

Carly headed across the room toward Claudia. "You low class bitch, don't you talk to my cousin that way! I'll rip every strand of witch black hair out of your head and then strangle you with it if you ever dare to say such crap to anyone in my family again, you got me?"

"You think you got the goods to do it?" Claudia said, while making a come here motion with both hands. "Then bring it on."

"I've had enough of you," Carly said .

"Carly!" Jason went to grab her and stop her from knocking down Claudia but in the melee Spinelli's board was knocked over.

Sonny looked down at the picture that was now uncovered and cried out "What the_ hell_?"

Jason picked up Carly around her waist and carried her away from Claudia as she screamed at her all the things she planned to do to her one day- starting with wiping the snarky grin off her mouth.

"I'm right here!" Claudia said "Anytime you're woman enough to try."

"Shut up already," Jason told Claudia.

Sonny was now off his feet and over at the poster board. He picked it up. "What's this garbage? Jason...what is this? What's this freak boy up to now?"

Spinelli threw his hands out in front of him. "Careful, careful...that will surely be a collector's item one day and fetch a pretty penny for it is the first mock- up of the cover of the soon- to- be famous...da, da, da, dum,... Port Wars!"

Sonny looked liked he was ready to shoot someone. "What in the frig is Port Wars? And don't start all that babbling, just say it clear...what is this?"

On the board was a picture of cartoon version of Sonny, in the middle, with Jason and Carly to one side of him and Maxie and Lulu to the other. Claudia was in front of all of them, in a stunning red leather cat suit and red heels, with a gun pointing straight outward.

Spinelli said "It's a multiple person, interactive, simulation of a fictional universe where a user can choose to assume the persona of either Stone Cold, The Maximista, The Blonde One, The Valkryie, Vixenella or The Dark Don."

Maxie squealed "Cute! It's a video game."

"You made another one?" Lulu asked. "That's great, Spinelli."

"Wow, I look hot," Claudia said. "I'm gonna love being the stuff of little boy's fantasies all over the world."

"All over the..._what?" _Sonny asked "Oh, no...no way in hell. This isn't being seen anywhere." He broke the poster in half, causing Spinelli to cry out in anguish.


	29. part two, vixenella

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Vixenella**

**November 2008**

**Part Two**

**Rated PG**

While looking at a cartoon version of herself on a poster board, Claudia said "Wow, I look hot," Claudia said. "I'm gonna love being the stuff of little boy's fantasies all over the world."

"All over the..._what?" _Sonny asked "Oh, no...no way in hell. This isn't being seen anywhere." He broke the poster in half, causing Spinelli to cry out in anguish.

Claudia said "You're such a bastard, Corinthos. Do you kick puppies and drown kittens, too?"

"I'm not having my likeness as part of ," Sonny started "some freak game he made up in his twisted up mind. Forget about it."

"The Jackal can not forget about it, as Mr. Sir so vehemently suggests, because The Jackal has already sold the rights to said game to a major international distributor and it shall be on shelves in time for the Christmas rush...in fact it debuts in the morn and that is why I thought it so pertinent to inform all of you post haste to avoid the shock of inadvertently stumbling over one of the displays when you are out shopping for your wee ones or loved ones, as the case my be."

"You saying this is will be in stores tomorrow?" Sonny asked "Is that what he just said? Who can translate him for me? Lulu?"

Claudia said "You heard him. Its too late for your complaints to make a difference. Get over it." To Spinelli she said "I think its cute."

"I'm calling Diane!" Sonny cried out. As he headed for the door, he told Jason "Fix this."

Just then Maxie's cell phone rang. "Yes, Kate, I understand. Right away. Yes, we'll get on that."

After hanging up, she said "Sorry, Spinelli, but Lulu and I have to go. Kate needs us. But I love the game and I think its great you made this happen for you. Though I can't believe you kept it a secret. Sneaky!" She smiled and headed for the door.

Lulu said "Don't let Sonny bring you down, okay? Maybe you should have asked before using him in your game but what's done is done...congrats on selling it. I'll have to buy one and send it to Dillon. He'll get a kick out of it. See you later, okay?" Lulu started to leave.

Spinelli called after her "Farewell, The Blonde One and Maximista. The Jackal thanks you for your understanding and support. The Jackal never meant to offend Mr. Corinthos Sir."

Jason asked "What were you thinking?" He pointed at the picture of himself on the board.

"Stone Cold is angered at his apprentice?"

"He's not angry, Damian," Carly said "We are just surprised."

Jason gave her a look. "This can't happen. He's not selling that."

"Its done, Jase."

"Look at it!"

"I see it," Carly said. "At least he has a cute picture of me on there. Anyway, I have to get home to Morgan. Make sure you snag Lucas a copy of the game before it sells out, okay?"

She gave Claudia a hard look and said "You see me out anywhere, you better run the other way."

"Right back at ya."

After Carly left, Jason said "You got to put a stop to this, Spinelli."

"Oh." Spinelli moaned. "The Jackal has made a grievous mistake! In the pursuit of my own dream career, after the failure of my Jackal PI business due to that unfortunate incident that resulted in my brief overnight incarceration in that Canadian jail, The Jackal has been short sighted and only thought of what will bring himself joy and not what will bring others, especially Stone Cold, pain. The Jackal is most sorry...and will immediately seek a way to halt the release of Port Wars."

"Like hell you will," Claudia said.

"It's fine, Vixenella. The Jackal was foolish to pursue such a frivolous life course when Stone Cold spends his days fighting against the forces of evil, present company excluded of course."

"No, its not okay," Claudia said to him. Then she told Jason "You ever think he might have some kind of ambitions beyond being a faithful devotee to the Cult of Morgan? Maybe he has something he wants just for himself, something to make him feel proud and something to earn him a boatload of cash and prestigious. He gets to have that without you ripping it away just cause you can."

"You want your face on that game," Jason said "fine. But not me. I don't want people knowing me as Stone Cold...a mob enforcer."

"Too late," Claudia said "That ship has sailed. Don't you have a TV in that penthouse of yours? You were all over CNN everyday for a month when you stood trial for shooting Lorenzo Alcazar. If I could see it in Rome, then everyone over here certainly did. They know who you are and who Sonny is and Carly...and that's all because of what you did, not Spinelli."

"Fine. People know me. That don't mean they...should pretend to be me in a game."

"What's the harm? I think his game is pretty damn cool and I'm glad I made the cut to be in it."

"Yeah, its...probably a good game," Jason said. "But I want no part of it. Sorry, Spinelli. Maybe you can make another version or something."

"But it hinges on Stone Cold and The Dark Don's eternal battle for dominance of the crime destroyed futuristic town of Port Harborview. No other characters could replace Stone Cold and The Dark Don without losing the essence of the creation."

Jason seemed to take that in and soften slightly to the idea.

Claudia said "It makes him happy. Just cause you're miserable is no reason to make him the same way. This is his dream. Haven't you ever heard of following your bliss?"

Jason shook his head, wearily. "I got to go talk to Sonny and Diane. See if he's gonna file an injunction or what. I'll...see what I can do."

"So Stone Cold will help The Jackal to capture his dream?!"

Claudia said "If he won't then I will. Jason isn't the only one around with access to high priced lawyers."

Jason shot her an annoyed look. "We'll talk about this later, Spinelli."

He headed for the door. Spinelli wore a crushed expression. "But Stone Cold! Wait...The Jackal apologizes..." he called after him but Jason was already gone.

Spinelli seemed to deflate before Claudia's eyes. She said "Hey, come here," and gave him a hug. "It's okay. Don't worry about it, okay."

Claudia pulled away. Spinelli still looked pretty shattered. She hated seeing him like that on a day that should have been one of the best of his life. "Hey," she said "Who cares what Sonny and Jason think, huh? You're really talented and you shouldn't let them stop you."

"Thank you, Vixenella, for your unwavering support. Though it should be forbidden for The Jackal to...have such warm regard...for a known enemy of Stone Cold...The Jackal can not bring himself to feel anything but a well of gratitude each time Vixenella bestows her kindness upon him."

Claudia walked behind the bar and got out a bottle, she poured them both a drink. "You know what? I like being Vixenella. It's a hot name. And I like hanging around you...cause you see me as someone who deserves respect...and hardly no one else does."

"Vixenella deserves the utmost respect for she is one of the goddesses who walk among the mere mortal men of this fair city...and Vixenella not only possesses great beauty, she is fearless when it comes to taking on Mr. Sir and expert in the art of marksmanship and also in the ways of underworld. The Jackal could learn much from Vixenella ...and maybe one day not make so many blunders that upset the ones I hold dear."

Claudia passed him his drink and held hers up. "To The Jackal..."

"The Jackal is honored that Vixenella wishes to imbibe in my name." He clinked his glass to hers.

"To the Jackal," Claudia repeated "who is perfect just the way he is."

A ear to ear smile appeared on Spinelli's face. "To Vixenella ...and unexpected bonds of friendship. Long live The Jackal and Vixenella's association."

Claudia said "I'll drink to that."

**THE END**


	30. Power Players

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Story Three**

**Power Players**

**May, 2008**

**Rated PG-13**

"You don't have to tell me that I'm not your first choice for a husband," he said, in his bitter laced voiced, "but do you, at least, think you can fake a smile, Claudia? The priest will be here any minute and he's expecting to find a happy couple."

"Then he's gonna be sorely disappointed, isn't he?"

"Really nice attitude. And what's with wearing black to our wedding?"

"Just in case I decide to make it your funeral instead. This way," she smiled at him, but her eyes stay cold and calculating, weighing the value of his life in her pretty, well manicured hands "I don't have to change."

She was pretty sure she hated everything about Ric Lansing. He was as smug as his father Trevor, that trait must run in their genes, but not even half as cunning. He had an inferiority complex and a history of violence against women. He played at wanting revenge but she doubted he would ever really have the guts to take it. His only halfway redeeming qualities were his looks and slow simmering, hardly never masked, anger. If she could properly harness that maybe she could use him.

Then, at least, she would get something out of this joke of a marriage.

Claudia Zacchara held no illusions that this would be a marriage based on love, mutual respect or friendship. She was stuck between a dead body and hard place- Pentonville prison, more precisely. Ric had walked in and caught her wrapping her father's lifeless corpse in plastic. She'd seriously thought about just adding Ric to her body count that night but having him turn up missing at the same time as Anthony would arouse way too much suspicion. The last thing she needed was his mob boss brother, Sonny, or Ric's ex- wife, the district attorney of Port Charles, Alexis snooping around. They just might find enough evidence to pin more murders, attempted murders, kidnaping, drug smuggling, weapons charges and RICO violations on her than she could ever beat. It wasn't worth the risk.

Though she had needed his silence, Claudia hadn't thought up this little marriage made in Hell. That was Ric's bright idea. She shook her head now, as she glared at him across the room, and wondered what in the world she had been thinking when she agreed to this plan.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_She stared into her father's vacant eyes. Claudia didn't see him not as he was right then but as he had looked when she was ten. When he came into her room night after night, when he called her "My baby."_

_For years she had wanted to put a bullet in him. But only tonight...after finding out he put a hit out on Johnny for disobeying his orders...did she finally load the gun, place the silencer on it, then put it to the back of his head, whispering "Sleep well, Daddy," before she pulled the trigger._

_She had acted in haste- doing him in their own house with gaurds around. It was gonna be a bitch to move his body but she would manage it. He'd be dumped where no one would ever come across the scattered bones of the former Zacchara head of the family. The world would be left to think that some mob enemy took him out._

_Claudia reached out to pull the plastic over his face, and noticed her hand was shaking. Damn, she hated when that happened. She didn't want this to affect her. It had to be done...and it was. Simple as that._

_She heard the key in the lock of the den door, and her heart started to race. Jumping up, she grabbed her gun and called out "Don't come in..." but it was too late, Ric opened the door and their eyes met. "Bad move, Lansing."_

_He looked down and gasped._

"_Get in here," Claudia said._

_Ric took a step back._

_Claudia titled her head to the side. "Try and run and I won't hunt you down. I'll just go find someone you love and..."_

_He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "Okay, okay, you don't have to finish that sentence. The only person I really love is my daughter Molly. I don't think you want to threaten murder against a toddler, do you?"_

"_Would that keep your mouth shut?"_

_He pursed his lips, regarding her and the body for a long moment. "Your own father..."_

"_Yep. So think about what I would do to a stranger. It would be in your best interest to forget you were ever here tonight. You rat on me and something tragic will happen in your life. Count on it. I can make what happened to my father seem almost pleasant in comparison to what I do to you, Richard."_

"_Don't call me that. Only my father calls me that and I hate it."_

_With the gun still pointing at him, Claudia smirked. "What I call you is the least of your problems, Richard."_

"_Looks like you are the one with the problem."_

"_We are the ones, Richard, because I go down and so do you. I can hire a lawyer if I get arrested and discredit your testimony...but who will you hire to put back together the ashes of your life after I burn your world to the ground?"_

_After a moment, his eyes changed, becoming darker. "It seems to me that this is a chance for both of us to get what we want most: power. You get to be The Boss..."_

"_Damn right, I do. I should have been years ago. My father wasn't in his right mind since I seven."_

"_Oh, you did him a favor then? Put him out of his misery, did you? And they call me deranged."_

"_Is that what they call you? So it wouldn't look suspicious if you say...killed your employer and then yourself?"_

"_I'm not going to stand here and let you put a gun to my head."_

"_You think you can stop me?" Claudia asked, stepping closer to him._

"_At least listen to my proposal before you do anything rash. The struggle would draw attention and, believe me, I will struggle. I want to live to see my little girl again."_

"_Then you better talk fast and I better like what I hear."_

"_We get married."_

_Claudia's mouth opened slightly. She looked down, caught sight of her father, and felt sick to her stomach. Her head started to pound. Usually before she executed anyone, she always felt completely calm, in control, numb inside. It was just business. And afterwards she never cried. But tonight was personal. _

_And now she had this insane man standing in front of her talking about trapping her in some loveless union. _

_She forced herself to throw out a light line, not revealing the cauldron of conflicting emotions brewing in her. "You harboring a little crush, Richard?" _

"_Listen, it solves both our problems," he said. "If you are my wife then I can't testify against you, and if I am your husband then...I get enough power and resources to finally bring my brother down to his knees. To take what really matters to him...more than Carly, more than Alexis, more than Kate or the love he says he has for his kids...as if he knows what familial love is. I can take away his business. He's walked away before and he's lived without being The Man in Charge but when Jason took it from him...that was when he lost his mind." A slow grin curved Ric's lips. "But Jason gave it all back to him...we won't."_

_Claudia stared at him, seeing the first real hints of how devious he could be, and then said "I don't do marriage. Not ever. Its evil."_

"_And what do you call taking the life of your own father? Charity work?"_

"_Don't get smart. I have enough bullets left to continue my humanitarian efforts on you."_

"_Or you could agree that my plan makes sense. You have to want my brother's territory and I know you want to make sure I can never sit in a courtroom and point a finger at you. And I want a way to crush my brother."_

"_Are you sure about that? Or do you just want him to be duly impressed that you've connived yourself a seat at the table?"_

"_Believe what you want. But if you don't marry me...you'll have to take the few more steps over here and take your chances. What will it be, Claudia? Want to be the next Mrs. Lansing?"_

"_Hell no."_

_Ric swallowed hard._

_Claudia walked closer to him, her red heels silent on the plush carpet. "But it looks like I'm going to be anyway. Now help your fiancee bury a body."_


	31. part two, ric and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Power Players**

**Part Two**

**May, 2008**

_**Rated PG-13**_

The priest had arrived, along with the only guests: Johnny, Trevor, and Molly, who was held by her nanny. All the guests, down to the baby, wore cranky, confused expressions.

"Are we ready to begin the ceremony?" Father Timothy asked.

Johnny touched Claudia's arm. "Can I talk to you real quick?"

She gave him a pointed look. Hugging him, she whispered in his ear "I know what I'm doing. Power takes sacrifice."

Johnny met her eyes as she pulled away, giving her one more pleading look but Claudia smiled and turned away from him. "I'm ready, Father."

"Would you like to walk down the aisle?"

"Its not really that kind of wedding," Claudia said. She went and stood next to Ric. Their eyes locked on each other, hers turned cold while his twinkled with a stunning amount of lust- not for her, though, for what she could put in his hands: the power he craved more than any woman's touch or anything as beautiful as love.

"We are gathered here today..."

"Richard," Trevor interrupted the priest "this is patently ridiculous. You don't love Claudia. You barely know her. Is this some kind of tantrum because you found out I worked for her father for years without your knowledge?"

Ric glared at him. "That statement just proves you don't know the first thing about me. I invited you here to support me. If you can't do that, then just leave."

"You are making a mockery out of marriage and yourself," Trevor said, then walked out of the den.

Ric let out a short breath, then said "Continue, please, Father Timothy."

Claudia was glad she had never been like other little girls who longed for a romantic, old fashioned wedding in a church with the whole town on the guest list and herself clad in white with a veil. Because this fiasco would have been quite a let down from that.

But she hated everything about marriage. She hated her soon-to- be hubby. And she hated the idea of being anyone's wife. She'd put in her time in this sham union, and when the time was right... she'd become a happy widow. By then she would be running Port Charles and Crimson Point, then she'd takeover Rochester, then the Catskills , and on and on until she was the most powerful woman in New York State.

Ric Lansing was a necessary evil she would have to deal with in order to get what was most important to her- complete freedom for her and Johnny. No Daddy around to destroy their souls with his dirty hands and crazy rantings. No Sonny Corinthos around that she had to pretend to find appealing and attractive. No Five Families who didn't want to let her into their meetings. She would take them all out- one by one- just like she had her father.

"I do," Ric said.

A few moments later, after repeating vows she had no intention to keep, she said "I...guess I do too."

Claudia planned to be the last person standing. She planned to make it to the top of the heap, even if she had to walk over a hundred dead bodies to get there, and then look down on all the men who never thought she was worth anything. Ric better hope he can help her. Cause if he got in her way he would end up a dead man.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**May, 2009**

Claudia knocked on the door of her husband's office. Ric had his own private practice, but his main job was to be the family attorney. Trevor had been kicked to the curb the day after their wedding last year, and now worked for ELQ. Claudia hoped that everything she heard about the Quatermaines being crazy was true and that they were putting Trevor through absolute hell. It was no less than he deserved.

She smiled, held up the bottle of champagne, and asked "You have time for a visit with your wife?"

Ric smiled back, his dark eyes lighting up. "If I say no, will you shoot me in the head?"

"Never know," she joked, as she walked in.

Claudia couldn't complain about the way her marriage had worked out. Ric might not be completely sane or moral...but who was really? No one she respected, that was damn sure.

They had managed to use the piers he owned to force Sonny to negotiate with them, ensuring their first real foothold in Port Charles, and then slowly they set him up to look incompetent in front of his own men...until Jason had to nudge Sonny aside or risk a revolt in the ranks. The loss of his position sent Sonny to the bottle, and then to the loony bin, where he had a room to this day. Next up on their agenda was putting a bullet in Jason Morgan, and claiming his territory for their own. Claudia had gotten used to having someone around who she could discuss her plans with and who never thought she was going too far. She had been able to let Johnny leave the business and pursue his music, while she ran the family the way she had always imagined she would

Claudia pushed aside some of Ric's files, letting them tumble to the ground and then sat on the edge of his desk, crossing her legs. "Oops."

"That's my wife- causing chaos wherever she goes."

She popped open the bottle, sending the cork flying up to hit the ceiling, then poured two glasses and passed him one. Ric stood up and walked around to stand in front of her.

"To a very," Claudia said "successful partnership."

"I'll drink to that. Mrs. Lansing- Zacchara," he said, using the hyphenated last name they both went by now.

She said "To taking what we what and never apologizing for it."

They clinked glasses.

Ric leaned close to her, brushing a kiss onto her cheek, something he started doing a few months back. He tried to move away again but she grabbed his tie and yanked him toward her, bringing her mouth to his for the first time. She had been thinking about doing this for a while...finally tasting her husband for the first time since their chaste, tight lipped kiss at the alter. There were plenty of men she could take to her bed but none she could let see her dark heart...just this one.

She pulled away, her power hungry eyes on his, "What do you say? Another year? Ruin a few more lives together?"

"Count me in." Searching her eyes, he slowly raised his hand and pushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. His first tentative gentle gesture toward her. "No wonder none of my other marriages worked out. I should have married you years ago. You're the only woman who wouldn't run away in terror at the thought of me wanting to destroy my own flesh and blood...to see him broken...and me finally the one who gets the good life."

"Not good, Ric. Great. The best. Its only the best for us...because I'd kill you before I let you make me settle for less."

He chuckled. "Only you could make that sound romantic."

"Hell with romance. Who has time for it? We have a world to takeover."

Ric leaned close to her, his lips almost brushing hers. "In due time, Claudia."

As Ric kissed her, Claudia wrapped her arms around his neck and thought _Happy Anniversary to me. He might be a crazy man...but he's my crazy man._

**THE END**


	32. Walk the Line

So, it is official, I will write about Logan Hayes with anybody. I can't help it. He's delicious and if the PTB at GH don't see that...they just ain't looking hard enough.

**Logan/Cooper/ Lucas**

This story is slash, so if that is upsetting to you, please, flee now.

For those of you still here, this story has an R rating for language and mature themes. It has no sex scenes.

This is my first attempt to write slash...so hang on tight as I try to figure this out. This is dedicated to the amazing writers at SFF.

All the italicized parts are thoughts.

**Walk The Line**

_What is so god dang funny_?

Logan's thoughts grew dark as he watched Cooper and Lucas sitting at a table in Kelly's diner. They laugh at some inside joke, and its enough to make Logan want to run Lucas' head right through a plate glass window.

_Since when am I the one on the outside_?

Yes, he knows his jealously is freaking pathetic. So the hell what? He's allowed. He was the one who covered Cooper's ass in Iraq, got him back here alive so he could move to Port Charles and start a new life. He was the one who listened to Cooper's confession late at night about how he was gay...he was the one who kept that secret until after they were discharged and Cooper came out...he was the one who gave a damn first.

_He's my best friend...he's mine_.

Logan's light eyes flash with a dangerous and life wrecking contempt as he focuses on Lucas Jones. Too skinny. Too goofy looking. Too weak, Logan assesses. A punk. That's who Cooper is crazy about?

_Give me a freaking break. I could break that kid in two without half trying_.

Its not that Logan doesn't want Coop happy. Sure he does. But not this happy...not so happy that he forgets about him. It never used to be this way. They were together always. They were tighter than brothers. No one knew Cooper better...no one loved him more. That was supposed to mean something. When had that all changed?

_He don't need me no more, huh? We'll just see about that._

There was no way in hell Logan would allow himself to be pushed aside so easy. Logan might screw around with every chick in a short skirt who fell for his _doll, darlin', aw shucks _down boy come ons but he had never let hos come before bros. Never.

Cooper was way out of line for sitting right across the room and acting like Logan didn't even exist.

_Does he think I don't remember it was me he wanted first?_

Back in Iraq, in a time when they weren't sure if they would live or die, when every breath counted and every emotion was heightened...Cooper Barret was the one wanting more attention, wanting what he could never have, and Logan was the one who had to pull away...because he just wasn't into that.

_Lucas can suck his...neck...but Coop don't need him for anything else. And its time he remember that._

Lucas reached for Cooper's hand. Logan gritted his teeth and called out "Hey, buddy!"

Cooper jerked his eyes away from his boyfriend and looked at his best friend. In his expression was pure innocence, something so sweet that Logan felt guilty for his murderous thoughts. But not guilty enough to stop wishing Lucas dead.

Logan stood up and was about to go over to their table when he heard a soft, female voice from behind him ask "Come to visit me, solider?"

He turned to see Regina Thompson, a pretty brown eyed nurse from General Hospital. Logan had been dating her for few months, after breaking up with Maxie and then with Lulu. He was working his way through the women in town like they were water. Each one made his blood race at first but then he got too angry, too mean, too possessive and they ran from him like he was poison. That was the story of his life. Everyone left...everyone but Cooper. Cooper he could never let leave him...and he would never let anyone, no matter who they were, think for even one second they were taking Cooper away from him. Like hell. Cooper was his best friend, _his, his, his, his, his..._his. And that is how it would stay.

Logan smiled at Regina. "Yeah, doll, how'd you guess?"

She giggled and pulled him toward the stairs. He looked back at Cooper, but Coop was already focused on Lucas once again.

As soon as Logan and Regina were in her room, his mouth attacked hers. He wanted to put his mark on her, fast and hard. She wanted him...it was nice to still be wanted by someone in this god dang town.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_Hey, buddy!_

The sound of that voice, one Coop would know anywhere, jarred him out of his trance of being caught up in Lucas Jones. Because no matter what hottie Coop was lusting over, no matter what situation he was in ever really, if bullets were flying or bombs were going off, he would stop whatever he was doing if Logan called out to him. That wasn't just talk. It'd happened a million times before already.

Even when Cooper hated Logan, he'd still walk over broke glass to get to him. Even when he vowed to never talk to him again, he'd race across town at three am if Logan called...needing a ride home from some chick's house who threw him out, sometimes without even giving him his wallet. If was up to Coop to knock on the door, politely ask for the wallet back, and then take his half drunk, smelling like sex, best friend home. He didn't get to comment on Logan's insane antics with women...because it would look like he was saying _You should be with me instead._

Which he was. Or used to be. Not so much now since he had met Lucas, because the dark haired Jones boy had flipped his world upside down, and Coop could hardly see anything else but Lucas now. Except Logan. Because, even when Coop was miles away from him, and even when he was lost in the kiss of someone else...Coop still saw Logan. He always saw him.

That was the problem.

"You there?" Lucas asked. "I'm totally boring you with all this talk about music right? Lets talk about what you like now. Go ahead. Tell me who scored the field goal in the Yankees game last week?"

Coop laughed. "Its got the home run and baseball season is over."

"Oh. Sorry. Well whatever season it is...tell me about that."

Coop laughed again. Who wouldn't love this guy? Coop was thankful he came out, with Logan's right there by his side as they stood in front of his mom in Virginia, and he didn't have to hide who he was anymore.

"_I take it this is your...lover?" Julia asked, nearly choking on the words._

"_No, mom. I told you...we're army buddies."_

"_You don't have to lie to me, Cooper. He's here...when you tell me this. He's obviously...involved in this...somehow."_

_Logan had chuckled, bitterly. "You make it sound like a freaking bank job we're pulling off. He's gay. Deal with it, lady."_

Coop had loved him for that. And for the way he'd punch out anyone who looked at Coop funny. And for how he made Cooper drink too much, and play pool till dawn when he had work the next day, and because Logan was steel on the outside but hot flowing lava inside: just rage and broken hearted loneliness running through his viens, driving him to always walk on the edge of insanity. Making Cooper want to pull him back. Making Cooper think he had to save his best friend because no one else would. No one else loved him like Coop did.

But Coop wasn't supposed to love him that much. It had been a blessing the day he was out jogging and ran into Lucas Jones. They hit it right off. The younger man had a biting sense of humor and a wild side that he said he came by honestly, cause his whole family was just a little nuts. And a lot dangerous, but only to themselves. They wrecked themselves just because they didn't know any other way to live. It sounded familiar to Cooper...at some basic level he didn't want to admit to...that sounded like Logan, and since he couldn't have Logan he would eagerly accept this second choice. But Lucas wasn't like the other Spencers, he wasn't really like Logan at all. He was a beam of light, compared to the dark shadows that followed Logan, but that light became healing to Coop.

He was no longer stuck in that place where he wanted what he couldn't have. Where he longed to run his hands down the chest of someone who would only push him away, only say no instead of the yes he longed to hear. It was good to feel wanted. It was good to hear _Take me now._

Even if it was the wrong person saying it.


	33. Cooper and Logan, slash

Walk The Line

Part Two

**The Next Day**

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Logan asked Cooper, as he walked right into his room without so much as knocking.

He didn't have to knock. Cooper was his best friend. His. And that gave him the right to see Coop whenever he wanted, and Logan exercised that right every chance he got.

Logan stood over Coop, who was doing push ups. Coop did another one and then asked "What's got you so riled up?"

"Just saw your little girlfriend downstairs..."

Coop was on his feet in a half a second, as Logan knew he would be. "Don't call him that."

"Whatever. He thinks you're going out of town for Thanksgiving. What in the hell would give him that idea?"

"Because we are. He wants to meet my Mom."

"You got to be kidding me. Julia will stroke out. Don't even try it. You're gonna break tradition for some piece of ass?"

Every year since they met, Logan and Cooper spent Thanksgiving watching the football games together and eating frozen turkey dinners. Since Logan had no real family anymore...his father didn't know he existed and his mother was dead...spending the holidays with Coop meant he wasn't all alone staring at four walls and remembering how pale his mother looked on her last Christmas, when she was just days away from losing her battle with breast cancer.

All the holidays were hard to face now. Coop knew that.

_How can he do this to me? _Logan wondered.

XXXXXXXXX

_He thinks this is about hurting him...choosing Lucas over him_, Cooper thought, _when its really about me. About me needing to make a relationship work with someone other than him. He can't always be my whole world...even if it feels like he is right now and always will be...I have to try and break my habit of wanting more, more, more of him...he's an addiction I can't let rule my choices any longer._

Coop let out a short breath, his voice softened, as he said "Its important to Lucas. This means a lot to him."

"Ask me if I give a fuck?"

"Try to understand."

"You know what I understand, Coop? You're dick whipped over some guy you've known a few god dang months! Grow a pair, would you? Tell your girlfriend tough luck.."

Cooper pushed Logan as soon as the word girlfriend left his lips. "Cool that shit. That's not cool."

Logan laughed, his eyes dancing with someone wild and bitter. It was a look Cooper knew well. One that made him nervous and hard at the same time. He swallowed.

"What you're pulling is what's not cool, Coop. You're ditching me left and right these days. You can't be bothered to call me back...hell, text me back! You're shady as hell right now. Maybe I should just stop wasting my time on this friendship...Regina wants to move in with me...maybe I'll let her and forget all about you, buddy, like you forgot me. So much for brothers, huh? What a bunch of bull shit. Enjoy your turkey will your Mommy and girlfriend..."

Coop punched Logan. The sound of his hand hitting Logan's jaw echoed through his mind, over and over and over, till Coop felt dizzy. He hadn't meant to lose his cool...it was only Logan that ever made him this out of control.

Logan pushed Cooper against the wall. Their was something in the way he did it, so fast and hard, that made Cooper think he had been planning that all along- but that was crazy, right?

_Another one of my delusions about this man_, Coop thought, as his back hit the wall and Logan's hand pressed on his chest.

"Bad move, buddy," Logan said, with a snarl of his lip. The pulse point in his throat pounded erratically.

"Get off me, Hayes."

"Apologize and I'll think about it."

"Forget it. You're the one out of line."

Cooper could have overpowered Logan easily, but that would have hurt his best friend's feelings. And Coop never tried to do that. He knew the other man was fragile, no matter what Logan would say to the contrary, and that each hurtful insult ever said to him he carried like a scar. Cooper wouldn't add another bruise...even if Logan left Coop emotionally wrecked on more than one occasion in the past...even if Logan took Coop's heart in one hand and his soul in the other and crushed them both while wearing a bitter, bad boy grin on his face...even then Coop would still do all he could to ease Logan's emotional pain, and never set out to add more to it. He should have known better than to make plans to spend Thanksgiving, or any other holiday, any place but with his best friend. He should have thought about Logan more than himself...even if that only led to them being more tangled together in this brotherhood that consumed Cooper's very life. There was room for no other man in his world...but Logan...he had been crazy to think otherwise.

Logan glared at Coop. His breath was coming in short little gasps. He whispered "Just tell me...what the hell is so god dang special about _your little_...about him? Cause I don't see it."

"He's...good to me. You'd like Lucas if you gave him half a chance. You hate people just cause they don't kiss your ass. Not everyone can be some chick who's hot for your dick and willing to smile at your crude humor and filthy language." Cooper shrugged away from Logan. "Get off me...now. I'm not joking, Lo."

Softly, Logan asked "Does it look like I'm freaking joking?" He leaned even closer to him. "You're acting like an ass lately. And I'm just about to say to hell with you."

XXXXXXXXX

Logan was right up in Cooper's face. Blue eyes that knew every single thing about Logan stared back at him, asking for understanding and forgiveness but Logan had none to spare.

_Can't he see what he's doing? Don't he know...he's ruining us?_

It hadn't been easy to let Cooper in, to tell him his secrets, his fears, to spill his heart about his pain over his missing father, and dead mother, and high school girlfriend who ran off with some rich guy...only Coop knew all that, only Coop understood him, only Coop could say I love you, man...and make it sound okay, like they were supposed to feel so much and be so bonded, like it was right. Logan had trusted him, damn it!

_How can we trade me in for Lucas...what a punk...I'll crush that kid. He's dead. Just wait till I catch up with his ass._

Cooper said "Fine. All right! I'm sorry. I won't go home for Thanksgiving. Damn."

Logan stepped back, just a little, breaking contact with Cooper. "Do what you want."

"Do what I want? That's funny. You just yelled at me for doing what I want. Really, Logan, I don't need this...I don't. You make everything too damn hard."

"That's just my style, buddy."

"Hell of a style," Cooper said, as a small smile played on the corner of his lips. The same lips, Logan knew, Lucas got to kiss...not that Logan wanted to kiss them. He wasn't like that...it was just unfair, that's all, that Lucas could share something with Cooper that he couldn't.

Logan looked down, letting out a few quick breaths as his heart started to calm down instead of beating wildly in his chest. He hadn't lost Coop...not yet. For now he was still his, his, his...like it should be. "Hey...maybe I can get to know Lucas or something."

"Yeah?"

Logan looked up and their eyes met. "If you two last, but I doubt that'll happen."

"Why's that?"

"Cause you ain't in love with him. You think you are. But you're not."

"You sure about that?"

"Come on, Coop, that guy? Seriously? Nah, he ain't even the one for you."

"Maybe he is, Lo. I'm not like you...I don't like hitting the bars every weekend. I want to settle down."

Logan chuckled. "You're way too young to be worrying about slapping on some ball and chain."

"Nothing will change if I do...you'll still be my best friend. We're closer than family, you know that. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried!!"

"Fine, if you say so."

The room fell silent for a long moment.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._ "Hey, baby! Its me," Lucas said from the hallway.

Logan held up one finger to his lips, telling Cooper to be quiet and not answer him.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._ "Coop?"

_Knock. Knock_. "You in there?"

Footsteps moved away from the door.

Cooper whispered "What was that all about?"

"He can have you later. Right now you're mine."

_Mine. Damn right he is._

**THE END**

Mm-mm-mm-mm  
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine.  
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.  
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds.  
Because you're mine,  
I walk the line.

Mm-mm-mm-mm  
I find it very, very easy to be true.  
I find myself alone when each day is through.  
Yes, Ill admit that I'm a fool for you.  
Because you're mine,  
I walk the line.

Mm-mm-mm-mm  
As sure as night is dark and day is light,  
I keep you on my mind both day and night.  
And happiness I've known proves that its right.  
Because you're mine,  
I walk the line.

Mm-mm-mm-mm  
You've got a way to keep me on your side.  
You give me cause for love that I cant hide.  
For you, I know Id even try to turn the tide.  
Because you're mine,  
I walk the line.

Mm-mm-mm-mm  
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine.  
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.  
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds.

Because you're mine,  
I walk the line.

Johnny Cash


	34. Gunpowder and Lead, Jason and Claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Jason and Claudia, revisionist history.**

_If he wants a fight_

_well,_

_now he's got one  
and he ain't seen me crazy yet...  
...I'm going to show him what a little girls made of  
gunpowder and- _

_gunpowder and lead_  
_gunpowder and lead _-Miranda Lambert

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. The word choices reflect the violent world these characters live within. If curse words offend you, do not read this story. The choice to use this language is to provide the gritty tone this story needs.**

**Part One**

**February 2008**

The first time Claudia Zacchara ever laid eyes on Jason Morgan he was pinned down behind a crate getting shot at. It was one hell of a way to meet, but for those two, it was also just a typical day at the office.

Lucky for him, she never left home without a glock. Standing on the boardwalk, slightly above the docks, she fired on the closest man, hitting him in the shoulder and then laid down fire in front of the other two who were nearly hidden in the shadows.

Jason popped up and shot at the men, driving them back until they were in full retreat- leaving a trail of blood straight to their getaway vehicle.

"Stand up and let me see your hands," she told him. Claudia kept her gun raised and pointed at him. When he stood up his gun was pointed at her.

She had just saved the life of one of her biggest enemies. But for Claudia it was more valuable to be owed a favor by Jason than to see him dead. His death would send the Corinthos organization into chaos. The day something that big happened she wanted to be ready to move in on Sonny and crush him. She'd only been in town a week. She wasn't prepared to win any mob wars right now. In fact, she needed things to stay quiet so she could build up her cash, her manpower, and her power base before she went after the Corinthos family.

But make no doubt about it...one day she planned to do just that.

Jason asked her "Who are you?"

"Funny, I was gonna ask_ you_ the same thing."

Claudia had no doubt who he was. She'd recognize those eyes anywhere. In all the pictures she had of the Corinthos organizations men, he had been the one who stuck out the most. His reputation was legendary. Then again, in certain southern European mafia circles, so was hers.

"You a cop?" Jason asked her.

"Don't insult me."

"You always carry a gun?"

"I'd feel naked without one. Why don't you put down yours and we'll introduce ourselves properly?" she asked.

"You first."

"Such a gentleman. I just may swoon." Claudia lowered her gun but didn't put it away. She walked down the stairs and closer to him, her eyes washing over him from head to toe, while a smile curved over her lips. He might be deadly. He might hate her family name on principal alone. But he wasn't half bad to look at.

Alright, he was hella hot. And she liked that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jason knew right away this chick wasn't any kind of cop. Just the look of her: black jeans and black leather jacket, blood red sweater and too much gold jewelry, sunglasses in winter, and a defiance in her eyes that screamed criminal.

He asked her "You always on the docks at 2am?"

"You make it sound like I'm a streetwalker."

"Are you?"

"I'm gonna pretend you just didn't say that. I happen to like late night strolls. Reminds me of when I was fourteen and had to sneak out after Daddy went to sleep."

She smiled, trying hard to play innocent, even with a gun in her hand.

He wasn't buying her act for a minute. Anyone out here on these particular docks at this time on this night was there for one thing- they wanted to check out the shipment he was bringing in.

Word on the street was that Sonny had finally gotten into drugs. Everyone in their business wanted to know if it was true. It wasn't. Sonny wouldn't touch that shit.

But someone was flooding Port Charles with illegal pharmaceuticals. Maybe it was the guys who had just shot at him, Jason couldn't say for sure. Those guys could be dealers who were pissed off at the idea of someone else moving drugs through the city. All he knew was they disrupted his schedule and them showing up had made him have to wave the boat away.

They'd have to bring their shipment in another night. Whenever things got off schedule, Sonny got pissed and Jason got frustrated. He had enough problems to deal with without having to worry about planning another night to get the shipment unloaded. What they were bringing in this time was supposed to be kept quiet so no one else was here to meet the boat but Jason. Now he would have to go through the whole thing again some other time.

The stranger asked him "What caused this moonlight gun battle, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I do."

She pursed her lips, then chuckled. "I save your life and you can't even be polite. Some manners you have there."

"You didn't save my life."

"Could have fooled me."

"Drop the game. You know who I am."

"What are you? Famous?"

Glancing at her gun, Jason said "Use that or put it away."

She slid the gun into the back of her pants, lifted her hands up to show him they were empty and asked "Feel better now?"

"No."

"What's your deal? You a wanted man? The police on the lookout for you or something?"

"No. Are you a wanted woman?"

"Cause you seem kinda jumpy, is all."

"Strangers with guns and too many questions make me that way. Lets try this again. Name."

"Rank and serial number."

"What?"

"Isn't this an interrogation?" Claudia asked.

He didn't know if she was crazy or just thought she was funny, and he didn't plan on sticking around to find out. "Bye."

Jason brushed past her, listening intently as he walked away to make sure he didn't hear her pull back out her weapon. His gun was still in his hand, so he could spin around and shoot her if need be.

It would be a shame, though, to take out a chick that hot. What a waste. Sexy eyes, ass and breasts, plus she knows how to shoot, too. He thought to himself, _You don't freaking see that everyday._

_Note- there are ten more parts to this story._


	35. part two, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**February 2008**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language and adult themes.**

**Part Two**

There was a reason Jason Morgan didn't go to Jake's Bar very often anymore- only if Carly asked to meet him there or Spinelli had to be pulled out of there again after causing some sort of scene. Jake's was jam freaking packed with memories for him.

And lately the last thing he wanted to do was remember. The last couple years had taken their toll on him. All of a sudden, he felt his years. If Jason sat around and thought about all the ways his life was completely fucked up, he would surely want to eat his gun. Since he wasn't the suicidal type, he just pushed all that shit to the back of his mind and headed out for long bike rides and beers at The Recovery Room instead.

It worked for him.

Even though it was close to General Hospital, he never ran into anyone he knew. They liked Jake's, where Coleman poured free drinks for the chicks he thought were hot and the jukebox wasn't filled with only eighties rock.

When Jason was at The Recovery Room, he liked to sit at a table in the corner and be left alone. But the night he was sitting there and saw_ her _walk in...he knew his solitude was about to be harshly interrupted.

XXXXXXXXX

Claudia walked into the bar with a smile on her face. She had just made a fantastic business deal that would help to prove to her father that she actually knew what she was doing. She hated that she had to put up with him running the family- a job that rightfully should be hers cause John was too young and Anthony was too damn crazy- but for now she would deal with it.

Slow and steady was gonna win this race for her. Give her enough time and a few lucky breaks, and Claudia believed she would be the one with all the power resting in her prettily painted red finger nailed hands.

She ordered a sour ameretto and sat down on a bar stool. Her instincts were laser sharp, and within a half a minute she felt eyes on her. Not like _that _was anything new. She got attention- good and bad- just about everywhere she went.

Claudia glanced over her shoulder and her eyes connected with Jason's. Picking up her drink, she walked over to his table. His gaze felt like it was devouring her with every step she took closer.

"Morgan, we meet again."

"Yeah." Jason took a drink of his beer and sat back, leaving Claudia to assume that was what passed as his part of this conversation in his opinion.

"Can I join you?" She pulled a chair back to sit down, but he reached out and grabbed it, holding it in place.

"For what?"

"Well, aren't you the friendly one? I thought you were just cranky the other night- you know from having no sleep- but guess not. This is your _usual _personality, huh? Stellar."

"You don't like it then you can sit somewhere else."

"So, I take your bad attitude to mean," Claudia said "you've figured out who I am."

His eyes worked down her body, and damn if she didn't feel scorched. "Yeah, a Zacchara."

"A Zacchara? Yeah, I'm just one of those evil, treacherous, _they have some nerve for daring to live_, Zaccharas." She held out her hand, so he could kiss it. "But you can call me Claudia."

Jason only shook his head at her hand, but his blue ice cold eyes softened somewhat, and he almost looked to her like he wanted to laugh. He took his hand off the chair, allowing her to sit down.

She would have cussed him out over his earlier rudeness but that wouldn't get her what she wanted. Losing her cool was a luxury Claudia couldn't indulge in. Her father had been ratcheting up the tension between their two organizations and it would be up to her to broker a peace. That way they could all do business and get rich...or richer, she should say.

_Money_ made her world go around, not manners. If Jason Morgan was the key to a long and lasting peace between the Corinthos and Zacchara clans, then she would just have to make nice with him. It wasn't like it was a hardship to sit across the table from someone so damn fine.

One real smile from him and she was likely to forget all her good sense, maybe ask him to hit the closest hotel with her- hell with whoever might be at his home waiting for him. She didn't do love but hot, no hold bars sex was her forte. Lucky for her, Jason hadn't ever smiled at her yet...it saved things from getting too messy.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

She sat down across from him, and Jason simply stared her down to see how long it would take her to squirm. Most people cracked in ten seconds flat. But she simply stared back at him, her eyes twinkling with mischief and sipped her drink...as if they had all year to waste sitting here.

It showed a stubbornness to her, her unwilling to break the silence, that worried him. He needed her to be able to be swayed into seeing things between their organizations from his point of view. Which boiled down to: Sonny runs Port Charles so stay the fuck out.

But he'd say it nicer. _Slightly_. The first time, at least.

Letting out a breath, after about three minutes of silence, Jason said "There's a meeting coming up. You going to be representing your family...or you sending Johnny?"

"That would be a family secret."

He titled his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, silently saying _Don't start with me._

Claudia chuckled. "I'll be there, speaking for my father."

"How much can he have to say about anything from where he's at?"

Anthony had been in a mental hospital for three months, after going on a insane rampage through the Black and White Ball.

"You'd be surprised," she said. "What about you? You gonna be there?"

"Its not my territory."

"That's not the way I hear it. From what I understand, you've been doing the major lifting for years behind the scenes. Most men in your position would be fed up with being second by now."

"Probably."

"But you're not? Don't you have higher ambitions than to work for someone else your whole life? Don't you covet Sonny's position, his power... don't you ever think about taking it for yourself?"

"What does it matter to you? You aren't my shrink."

"You see a shrink?"

"No." Jason finished his beer. "You come over here for anything or are we done here?"

"You have somewhere you need to be? Some woman waiting up for you?"

He stiffened. "Night." Jason stood up and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair. He took one more minute to just look at her, telling himself he was putting the fear of God into her with his hard stare, when really all he was doing was enjoying the view, then turned and headed out to the parking lot.

She called after him, her tone light and airy, "Just so you know, you might want to bone up on your conversational skills!"


	36. part three, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**February 2008**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. **

**Part Three**

Claudia was driving home from The Recovery Room when she passed Jason walking down a country road. She stopped her car, and looked at him in the rearview mirror getting closer to her. She reached into her purse and wrapped her fingers around her gun. Though if this was a set-up, it was a damn odd way to do it.

Still Morgan was known for getting the drop on way too many made men for her to not be cautious.

He walked up to her car, and then past it, as if she wasn't even there. Claudia climbed out, and stood behind the door with the gun in her hand. "Hey! You need a ride or something?"

"No."

_The man of many words,_ she thought to herself. It only made her more intrigued that he was so hard to get a straight answer out of- or maybe it was just the opposite. All he gave were straight answers, no embellishments, leaving her to fill in all the blanks herself.

"Your car break down or what?" she had to practically scream cause he was steadily getting farther away.

At the sound of her loud question, he slowly turned around. "My bike."

"So you do need a ride then? Get in."

"I'll walk."

_Stubborn jackass_, she thought. _If he wasn't so hot, he would surely be single for life_.

"Its twenty miles back to Port Charles. What did you do? Get lost on your way home? You were in town already."

"No."

"No, you weren't in town? I was there. Try a new story."

"No, I didn't get lost. I was taking a ride."

"To clear your head?"

He didn't answer.

Claudia said "Oh, that's right. Only essential information shall pass over your lips. So lets see? Maybe I can guess. You are having trouble with your woman, right?"

"Night." He turned around and started walking away.

Claudia jumped behind the driver's seat and sped up to him, then rolled next to him and spoke out the window. "Okay, there is a thing called prudent and then there's downright idiotic. Hate to tell you but you're crossing the line this time, buddy."

"We aren't buddies."

"Hell, can you ever just talk to me!"

"I am talking to you. Mainly because you won't go away."

"No, you are talking at me. Talk to me. There's a difference. You might as well get used to me. We're going to be getting much closer before we are through with each other."

He stopped walking.

_That got his attention_, she thought. She pressed down the brake and idled next to him.

Jason asked "How do you figure?"

"Cause I can't work with Sonny. I've tried it already. Been by his little office in the coffee shop several times already. By the way...that's real cute...nice set-up you two got there. I would have had my office in the warehouse but that's just me."

Jason stared at her.

Claudia said "You know its true. About me and you. Sonny is just as irrational as my father. You and I are the cool headed ones. We can make a truce work. We just need to talk details."

"You want details?"

"Well, I was thinking we could meet at The No Name, after the Five Families meeting, and hammer something out. Contingent on how far you are willing to bend over the issue of the docks. You have a stranglehold on dock 52 but we have the piers near the cannery. There has to be a way we can both bring shipments in without hostilities exploding. I was thinking that you guys could overlook any incidental usage of your shipping lanes by my family if we were to overlook your traveling through our territory every time you need to get a truck to Canada. But, like I said, lets work this out over a dinner...nice and easy. I promise it won't hurt a bit...unless you like that sort of thing."

"Here's your details. The Zaccharas stay out of Port Charles. _Period_." He started to walk away again.

Claudia spit out a curse word. Jason Morgan was bound to drive her out of her ever loving mind soon if she didn't figure out how to get him to be reasonable. It looked like she was going to have to use the one weapon no man could refuse...hopefully he would be a good lay.

XXXXXXXXX

_Her idea wasn't half bad_, Jason thought as he walked away.

But to negotiate would give the Zaccharas the idea that they had some right to part of Port Charles, when they didn't. Crimson Point was there home turf. They wanted to expand, they'd have to do it elsewhere.

Her car started rolling toward him again. Jason got ready to pull out his gun. Just in case she got any ideas about solving her issues with him in a more violent way.

Right before Claudia reached him, another car came barreling toward them, driving slightly erratic. Jason moved off the road. The car skidded to a stop. "STONE COLD!"

Jason tried to hold back his chuckle. Spinelli was hanging out the window, looking all hyper and proud of himself.

Spinelli said "Your chariot awaits! The Jackal flew with the superluminal speed to the location of your GPS and thankfully you have not departed from the road on which your chick magnet motorcycle of seduction came upon its unfortunate mechanical difficulties."

Claudia pulled up next to Spinelli and said "Hey, there."

Spinelli jerked back, as if he was overcome by her beauty. Jason definitely could see how that could happen. Claudia wasn't average hot. She was more like smoking, pure fire, look for oxygen hot.

"I'm Claudia and you are?"

"Let's go," Jason said, as he climbed into the SUV.

Spinelli was simply too stunned to move. His mouth opened and closed and opened, but no words came out.

"Drive," Jason said.

Spinelli looked at him, helplessly.

Jason pounded the dashboard. "Drive!"

Claudia said "Please tell me you aren't like your buddy. The silent type?"

Spinelli finally said "No...no...no...The Jackal is...uh,..."

Jason told Claudia "Leave him alone."

"Look here, Morgan, I don't take orders from you. You might think you run the whole world, but you don't run me."

She licked her lips. Jason's gut clenched. Between her fiery words, and her sexy way of making everything sound like _Take me to bed_, even when she was saying_ I hate your guts_, his body was starting to turn on him- wanting what it couldn't have.

"Jack," Claudia said to Spinelli "it's so good to meet you. "

"No...no...no...its Spinelli...Damien...The Jackal is merely my cyber assassin of the internet persona, Vixenella."

"No, honey, its Claudia."

"I shall call you Vixenella for you are as gorgeous as any vixen to our grace the cover of a comic book."

Jason waited to see her reaction. The way someone treated Spinelli said a lot to him. The ones that treated him bad lost Jason's respect fast.

Claudia raised an eyebrow but smiled. "Sounds good to me." Then she said to Jason "So The No Name, right? Friday after the meeting? Its easier to give in to me now than have us do our little dance another time before then...unless you miss me when I'm not around. Should I drop by tomorrow for brunch?"

Spinelli grinned. "Our humble abode is located in Harborview Towers Penthouse 2."

"Spinelli! What the hell?"

_Great,_ Jason thought. _She'll probably be by first thing in the morning to tell me her next big plan for brokering peace between our families when all they have to do is stay in Crimson Point...problem solved_.

Claudia said to Spinelli "That's so nice of you to invite me. I appreciate that, really. And you're so adorable. Much nicer than your friend there. Good hair too."

Jason said to Claudia "Don't play him."

"I'm not! Can't you get through one day without insulting me?"

"The best way to make that happen would be if you don't come back into Port Charles."

"Or maybe if I just drop off the face of the planet? One less Zacchara for you to destroy. Sorry I'm not making it that easy. I'll be out of your life, Morgan, when I say I'm out of your life."

With that, she slammed on the gas and took off.

Spinelli stammered "She's...she's...like manna from heaven...she's more delicious than orange soda and barbecue chips...if not for the fact that The Jackal's heart is already spoken for Vixenella would be The Jackal's ideal mate."

"She's pure trouble."

Spinelli looked at him. "But worth every bit of it, Stone Cold...worth every bit of it, The Jackal is positive."


	37. part four, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**February 2008**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. **

**Part Four **

Jason made sure he was out the next day, so that if Claudia got the crazy idea into her head to actually stop over for brunch, he wouldn't have to deal with her again. It was bad enough that he hadn't been able to get her out of his head all during his shower that morning.

_A chick with a gun_, he thought to himself, _Damn, so hot_.

He walked back into his apartment around three o'clock that afternoon to find Claudia and Spinelli playing video games.

She said "You missed an awesome meal. I'm guessing that was on purpose. I'm offended, Morgan. You'll have to make it up to me."

He silently heard the words_ in bed _after that sentence: _You'll have to make it up to me...in bed._

"Spinelli...what the hell?"

Spinelli nearly tumbled off the couch in his haste to jump up and explain, talking a mile a minute, about how Claudia showed up and he couldn't send her away plus she brought stuffed french toast from Kelly's and it smelled good- yadda, yadda. Jason silently simmered as he listened to the explanation. Spinelli should know better than to let an enemy wander around their place.

"I don't want her in the apartment when I'm not home, understand?"

Claudia answered for Spinelli "You don't have to talk to him like he's a child. He's a grown man. If he wants company that he should be able to have company over. I'm not Satan, you know. Just a Zacchara. We aren't lethal unless there's a full moon out."

"Vixenella, Stone Cold is well within his rights to insist I honor his wishes. The Jackal is a mere grasshopper and he is The Master."

Claudia smiled at him "Have you ever thought that you should be The Master? Maybe Jason can take some lessons from you."

"What could The Jackal teach Stone Cold?"

"Plenty, believe me."

"That's enough," Jason said. "Upstairs, Spinelli...and don't let this happen again."

Spinelli scurried up the stairs. Jason opened the front door. "Bye_._"

Claudia slowly got to her feet. Jason's eyes locked in on her ass when she bent over to retrieve her purse off the floor. His mouth went dry. She straightened and turned toward him again.

"You know," Claudia said "you'll have to deal with me sooner or later. Because if you don't...things will get very ugly very quick. Sonny and Johnny...they're both emotional men. My Johnny has better judgement than Sonny. But Johnny is young and, at times, he lets his heart decide things his head should. You wouldn't want them squaring off. Cause so much as one eyelash gets touched on my brother and someone will answer for that...and they will answer to me."

She walked past Jason into the hallway. "Think about what you really want out of our relationship. We could work well together." Claudia flashed him a sexy grin. "Should we make each other happy?" Her smile fell away and her voice dropped low. "Or very, very miserable?"

She headed for the elevator. Jason should have shut the door, he knew that, but instead he followed her. Something about her speech, how she could stare him down and offer sex with one breath and threaten murder with the next, got his blood pumping.

Or maybe it was her short, short skirt and those fuck me red heels she had on.

He wasn't young anymore. He didn't think with his heart...not when it came to new woman in his life. Those days were done. But, very rarely, he still did think with his dick.

XXXXXX

She was steaming mad when she walked out of his Penthouse. Three meetings, three dismissals. The docks, the bar, and now...it was really getting old. Not to mention his little _No, I'll walk_ hissy fit on the side of the road.

_How in holy hell can I work with this man_? she thought.

There was only one answer. Make him want her so bad that he would give her whatever she asked for.

Claudia wasn't above using her body to get what she wanted. She'd done it more times than she could count. And if asked about it there was no way she would cry or feign embarrassment. She did what she had to and whoever didn't like it could screw off.

She'd gladly have a fling with Jason to smooth the way to a truce. But how could she turn on the charm when everything he said pissed her off? Claudia knew she had to figure out a way to not let Jason get to her, if she wanted to keep running her pills in and out of Port Charles. The money she was making was too good to close up shop now. She needed to bank a nice little nest egg to smooth her transition from daughter of a mob boss to The Boss.

Claudia punched the button for the elevator. She heard Jason walk up behind her and turned around. His usually hard eyes were filled with something even more intense than cold indifference...hunger.

It was a good look on him-and one that had a stunning effect on her body. She licked her lips. He stepped close to her.

"Yeah?" Claudia asked. She had to work hard to not back up away from the raw animalistic need in his eyes, because seeing it made her knees weak and she could sure use a wall to lean on, and also to not move closer and press herself against him. She simply stood her ground and waited for him to make whatever move he had in mind.

Jason's hand rested on the wall next to her, his body was nearly touching hers but not quite. She could smell his clean soap scent and feel his body heat, which only led to the craving to taste him- to see what is under than steel shell he wears so well.

"The No Name. You still want to meet?" he asked.

"Yes. Friday night?"

"_Tonight._"

Her eyes widened. "That's not the offer that was on the table."

"Take it or leave it."

"Since you put it that way," she lifted her hand and patted his cheek, then smirked "I'll take it, Jason."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

He took a large step back. She'd said his name for the first time ever. He didn't think it would effect him, hearing it on her lips, or feeling her hand against his skin, but both shot jolts of electricity ping ponging around his body.

That was a good reason to stay away from her. Yet...he couldn't help thinking...as she climbed onto the elevator, giving him a wave and wink and before she said "See you tonight at nine sharp. Don't make me wait," was that if they did work out a peace treaty then there would be no reason he couldn't sleep with her afterwards, if he wanted to.

And there was no doubt... he wanted to.


	38. part five, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**February 2008**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. **

**Part Five**

Jason watched Claudia cross the room at the No Name. She wore a black dress, those red heels that always got him hard, and a black coat that she shrugged off before sitting down. Crossing her legs, she ignored him, took a cigarette out of her purse and lit it.

He could tell right away she was pissed. "What?"

"Your partner Sonny- that's _what._"

"You talked to him?"

"What's the point in that? He doesn't want to work with me. Doesn't even think a woman should be _in_ this business. He's trying to make an end run around me because he knows I can run our territory better than my father ever did. Don't sit there looking like this is news to you. You know exactly what he's up to."

Jason gave her a look that said _Tell me anyway._

Claudia said "He sent Ric Lansing to try and get my father released from the hospital."

"Sonny doesn't even deal with Ric. And the last thing we want is Anthony on the street."

"Really? You telling me it wouldn't be a hell of a lot easier for you to take out my family if someone bat shit crazy was in charge?" Claudia asked. When he didn't answer her, she added "Yeah, that's what I thought."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She kept her mouth screwed into a pout, her eyes raged with intensity and she knew he was falling for her act this time. It felt good to pull one over on the _always one step ahead _Jason hitman Morgan. Even though she knew that Anthony had called Ric himself, because she had his phone at the institution tapped, Claudia figured blaming it on Sonny was a good way to get Jason to wonder if his partner was keeping things from him. And put her and Jason on the same side against crazy ass Sonny.

Jason told her "Its not Sonny behind it."

Claudia stared at him for a long moment. She crushed her cigarette, leaned forward and looked right into his eyes. "Do I have your word on that?"

He gave her a slight nod.

Claudia added "Well you better hope then that you really do know Sonny as well as you _think _you do. Cause if he is the one that's trying to spring my father...I will consider that an act of war and the truce will be off."

"There is no truce."

She smiled. "That's what we're here for tonight, isn't it? It not like this is some sort of date. You aren't looking to get me in bed, _are you_, Jason?"

"Why would you ask me that? We're talking business."

Claudia squirmed a little in her seat as heat flooded her body. She searched his eyes. "You didn't say no. You always just say "no"- and leave it at that without any wiggle room."

"You don't know what I always do."

"I catch on quick."

Just the idea of him wanting her sent a thrill racing through Claudia. _Hot damn_, she thought.

She would rather hate his guts. Rather plot his death than fantasize about him and her in some hot tub somewhere, him pulling on the string of her red bikini as she straddled his lap, but there was no denying that, for her at least, the pendulum was starting to swing in the other direction.

She wanted him dead about sixty percent of the time and in her bed the other forty.

That was more than she could say for anyone else in The Five Families. She would have no qualms about ordering their deaths- business is business. And for now, Jason fell in that same category but still Claudia couldn't lie: between the hard chest and abs he was sporting and those blue eyes that she could get lost in, it was near impossible to not want to go there with him.

The thought of his fingers brushing over her nipples...she exhaled and sat back..._Damn, it will be hard to sleep tonight, _she thought to herself.

He looked away from her and motioned the waiter over. They ordered salads, steaks, baked potatoes and roasted vegetables. He poured Claudia wine and brought Jason another beer.

Once the waiter left Jason asked "You want your father to stay locked up. That's not much of a united front. You trying to get rid of Anthony for good?"

_Nice try_, she thought the said. "My father is sick. He needs treatment. Why would I want him on the street and easy pickings for someone like you?"

Maybe one day she would tell him the truth about her feelings for her father but there was no way in hell she was going there right now. Jason would know what she wanted him to know and not a thing more. He was a means to an end for her. If she could broker a deal to use his shipping lanes, she would be able to insure her ability to move black market prescription drugs through Port Charles. The profits were good now, just using trucks to move between her territory and Canada but she could triple her business if she could start bringing her product in by boat, too. There was less risk because the Coast Gaurd could be bought off much easier than the local cops. There were just a handful of guys patrolling the harbor, while there were fifty cops on the PCPD force and a couple hundred more over in Rochester. There was no way to find enough dirty cops to absolutely guarantee that her truck wouldn't ever be pulled over. So using the roads always provided a considerable risk.

Jason asked "Why would you want Anthony back around...and running things when its obvious you want to be in charge?"

She let her eyes drop and tried to make her voice seem hurt. "And you think I would wish harm on my own father just to get his spot?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, don't hold anything back. Go ahead and spill your guts. Just how low is your opinion of me? You think I'm heartless? Murderous? Vengeful?"

"Yeah."

"You don't even know me, Morgan. Or are all Zaccharas scum to you?"

XXXXXXXXXXX

She actually seemed offended, Jason noted, and this time it wasn't just a put on to make him sympathize with her. He hadn't said it to hurt her, but they needed to get the truth out on the table.

"I didn't call you scum. But yeah...I have to ask myself who's side you are on? Your father's or your own."

"I've heard about the dysfunctional clan you hatched from but the Zaccharas are not like the Quatermaines. We love each other dearly."

"Now?"

"Always."

"You tried to kill Anthony when you were sixteen."

She inhaled a quick breath and her face hardened. A second later she recovered and took a drink of her wine, acting as if what he said was no big deal. "I wasn't a perfect shot back then. He got hit on accident."

"No, you shot him on purpose and he lived on accident. Rudy covered for you and moved you to Rome to live with him."

"You sure think you got it all figured out. You concoct this theory in the last week? Cause when we met on the docks...you didn't recognize me."

"That doesn't mean I didn't know you exist and know all about your past."

"The Spinelli factor."

Jason didn't answer but she was right. There had been no police report about the shooting, nothing in the papers, but Spinelli had combed all the Zaccharas, and their other enemies, records- including medical. Anthony's chart at St. John Hospital in Crimson Point indicated he was brought in suffering from a gunshot wound to the stomach and had to have surgery to save his life. One day later Claudia was on a plane to Europe, but Johnny stayed behind. If it was about protecting his kids, Anthony would have sent both. If it was about a vacation, Claudia would have postponed to stay by the bedside of her possibly dying father. It had to be about getting a dangerous girl as far away from the man who triggered her rage as possible.

Jason didn't waste time wondering what pushed Claudia so far back then...or if she was still as deadly...because it didn't pay to imagine what might have been. She was capable of murder. Her threats couldn't be taken as bluffs. He needed to get her backed down, for the sake of Carly and the kids if nothing else. Jason could accept that him or Sonny might die because of their business...but he would not accept any harm coming to the ones he vowed to protect. Emily was gone now. He wasn't losing another person.

Sonny had told him earlier today to _"Get it worked out or else I'm taking them out." _There was no way Jason was risking the Zaccharas getting wind of that and making a preemptive strike against them.

He had no choice but to end this shit with the Zacchara family- and do it tonight.

Time to make nice.


	39. part six, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**February 2008**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. **

**Part Six**

By the time the waiter took away Claudia's empty dessert plate a truce was established between the Corinthos and Zacchara families. She wasn't completely sure it would hold but, for now at least, she would behave as if Jason's word was gold.

God help him if he screwed her over. The streets of Port Charles would run red with blood... he'd never forget her name after she was done with him. The bloodshed she would cause would go down in infamy. The St. Valentine's Day Massacre would have nothing on the mayhem Claudia would create if Jason Morgan carried out a hit on her Johnny.

But for now Jason and Claudia were good. For _right now _they more associates than enemies. It was a nice change of pace for her. Maybe now he would drop the hard ass routine.

Claudia smiled "That tiramisu was heaven in my mouth. Yum." She licked her lips. "You should have had some. What are you... watching your figure or something? They don't make those leather jackets in a larger size?"

He didn't laugh.

She sighed. "Jason, could you at least fake a smile? Act like its not torture to share a meal with me." Her tone dropped and her voice grew more serious. "There is no one who understands better than I do that life is tragic and dark and ugly, and no one gets out without being badly broken and full of holes, but right now we are in a nice restaurant, we just ate a delicious meal, we're drinking good wine and we have an agreement that protects not only both our business interests but our families...there's no reason to sit over there and glare at me."

Claudia waited for him to react to her words. And waited and waited. Finally she reached out and wrapped her fingers around his wrist, in a flash he hand his other hand covered hers. Their eyes searched each others. She pressed her fingers to his pulse point.

Jason asked "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make sure you are still alive."

He shook his head at her, smiling slightly. His pulse sped up a few beats faster. She brushed her fingers over the top of his hand before pulling hers back. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Claudia hoped like hell she was turning Jason Morgan on. There was nothing hotter to her than screwing a powerful man and- no matter what Sonny might tell himself- Jason was, by far, the most powerful man in this city.

She winked at him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Damn. She needed to stop licking her lips. Stop winking. Stop crossing and uncrossing those legs. And for fucking real stop touching him. Or else Jason was gonna have to do something about how hard he was getting.

Not many times in his life did he just say_ To hell with it _and screw some chick he barely knew. The two times that stuck out in his mind had both changed his life in ways he couldn't ever get over. One taught him about love...the other taught him lust was never enough to base a relationship on.

He was over the idea of thinking there was some woman out there who would come along and make his heart whole again. Sure, for awhile, years back , he had thought that was a possibility. Now he knew he would stay wrecked for good. That romantic shit...he was long passed needing it anymore. But Jason couldn't ever get past wanting a gorgeous woman in his bed.

And Claudia Zacchara was pretty freaking gorgeous.

But there was nothing he did better than shutting off his emotions, so Jason pushed down his lust and said "Keep your hands to yourself."

"Don't trust me? Or don't trust yourself to resist me?" Her eyes were on fire...burning with hunger...tempting him.

"Night, Claudia."

"Sleep tight, Jason." With another wink, she stood up, grabbed her purse and coat and slowly, with her hips swaying from side to side, made her way out the door. His eyes stayed on her ass as she walked away.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Five days later, on the docks again, in the middle of the afternoon, Jason hugged his best friend and told her they would figure out a way to keep their boy safe. Carly's oldest son, Michael, had been caught with a gun. Just before Carly was about to walk away, Claudia came walking down the stairs and interrupted them.

Jason knew right away this was probably gonna get ugly. Carly never wanted him around any other woman- _not_ _ever_, under any circumstances. Even Diane was suspect in her mind. When Carly told Jason that, he had choked on his beer._ Diane? _His lawyer. He would never go there. He needed her to save him from prison, not warm his bed. Carly didn't think he needed any other woman but her in his life in any way at all.

If Jason Morgan was the type to make wishes, he would have wished things could be as simple as Carly wanted. But they never had been. And since he didn't wish for what might be...he figured they never would be. He didn't know how to hope for something different down the road, like she did, he only knew how to live with what was real for them right now.

He felt Carly stiffen at his side as Claudia smiled at him.

Claudia teased Jason "You come out in the daylight? I'm shocked. I thought you strictly moved under the cover of darkness."

A small grin worked at the corner of his mouth.

Carly didn't find it funny at all. She said "Cute," in a completely flat tone.

Claudia reached out and touched Jason's arm."I'm not interrupting, am I? I just need to steal Jase for a minute."

_Jase_. Fuck. He was gonna pay for that later with Carly. Where had Claudia gotten the idea to call him that? Must have been something she overheard somehow.

Carly said "_Jase _is busy dealing with family matters, sweetie. Maybe some other day. Call first next time and maybe you'll have better luck."

XXXXXXXXXX

_Oh, she's a bitch_, Claudia thought, _Okay_. _Good to know_.

She had met Mrs. Carly Jacks before. Plus Claudia knew plenty about her from her research into Sonny and Jason. They first time they met was in the coffeehouse, and they had compared shoes. Claudia liked her right away. Which was rare...cause she usually hated everyone but Johnny. Lately that was slowing changing though, Claudia had let Spinelli in and also hoped to forge a good working relationship with Jason. She hadn't considered Carly a friend after one chance encounter but, now that she saw how territorial she was over Jason, it looked like they might just throw down one of these days.

Cause no one told Claudia Zacchara to get lost and got away with it. Making her voice hard, she said "Its business and it can't wait."

_Take that_, Claudia silently told Carly.

But then she had to watch Jason completely tune her out, place his hands on both of Carly's arms and look in her eye. "You gonna be okay, for a little while, on your own? I'll come over later and we can talk to him together."

"I'll be fine but..."

"Carly, I need to deal with this."

Carly shook her head and let out a frustrated breath. She moved back from Jason, and looked at Claudia again. "Don't take up too much of his time. Business will never come before family...not for us. You're lucky I was done with him before you showed up. Work on your timing...it just might save your life."

Claudia titled her head to the side. "Is that a threat?"

Carly titled her head to the other side, smiled and said, in a pleasant tone, "I don't threaten." Then she turned and hugged Jason one more time. She raised her hand and brushed his cheek before walking away.

Claudia chuckled. "You've never heard of _Keeping it on the down low_? Damn, Jase, right on the docks with your lover. What would her husband say?"

"Don't call me Jase. And she is not my...she's my best friend and family and...don't worry about who Carly is to me!"

"Okay, okay. Why are you always so harsh? Didn't you get enough hugs growing up?"

He shook his head, wearily. "What is it you need to discuss?"

Claudia reached into her purse and pulled out five twenties. When she looked back up, Jason's hand was behind his back, on his glock.

She asked him. "You think I was going for my gun?"

"Never know when it comes to you."

"That's cold, _Jason. _You have _my word _that I will honor our truce. My word is _my bond_. I break bad with you and I'll be disrespecting _everything_ I teach Johnny to believe in. You might be that kind of man, I don't know, but I am _not_ that kind of woman."

"Good."

"That all you have to say?"

"Yeah."

She smirked. _You would think every word he speaks costs him a million dollars_, she thought, _Considering how he never uses even one more word than he has to. _

She held out the money for him. "Here. To pay for my half of our business dinner the other night."

"This is what you wanted to talk to me about? You said it was work related!"

"That was just to get rid of your shadow."

"Don't do stuff like that."

"Give me a break, man, really. Its not a federal offense to fib. Take this cash. Take it." She forced it into his hand.

"I don't want your money."

"I always pay my own way," Claudia said. "I don't want to owe you jack."

"Fine." He shoved the money in his pocket. "We're even."

She half expected him to say_ Bye_ and walk off before she could get another word in. Claudia wasn't sure why- other than he was hella sexy- but she didn't want their meeting to end yet. She would then have to go home, and John wouldn't be there since he always seemed to be out on long drives or mixed up with Lulu. She'd be left alone to confront the many ghosts in that mansion again.

Claudia was glad when Jason didn't rush off like usual today. He just stood in place, his eyes glancing down her body and then back up before his gaze locked in on her eyes.

XXXXXXXXX

Black thigh high boots. Red body hugging dress, black coat that hung open. Diamonds on her wrist. Soft, just licked, wet pink lips.

_Why the fuck does she always have to look ready for sex?_ Jason asked himself.

She had been stuck firmly in the front of his mind for every minute since their dinner. He hated being like this. Thinking about some chick he needed to just leave the hell alone. It was a bad, bad habit of his. One he was not likely to break anytime soon- not with Claudia coming around constantly. Maybe if he screwed her once...it would be enough to get her out of his system.

Jason Morgan used to never lie. Now he lies to himself everyday. So what will it matter if he adds one more to the pile?

He thought to himself in that moment_ I'll just sleep with her once. To take the edge off._


	40. part seven, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. **

**Part Seven**

**February 2008**

Standing on the docks, after a long moment when they simply stared at each other, Jason asked Claudia "You have any trouble convincing John to go with the truce?"

"He's all for it. If the business quiets down he'll have more time to chase around this chick he's into. I've tried telling him what a waste of time it is. He thinks he's in love. But love...love is nothing but a _fantasy _created by terrified people who don't want to die alone...but we all die alone anyway. Love can't save someone from death or from the devil, when he comes knocking, and he always does. The devil will always take his due. That's why every love that starts out beautiful ends the same way: a twisted train wreck of gore. Its not worth it. I spit on love."

She stepped closer to him. "What about you, Jason? A man who does what you do everyday...who goes to those dark places in his mind...you can't still believe in fairytales, can you? Tell me that you know love is a fool's game."

"Not for everyone every time."

"For _us_. For people like me and you. We were born to be in this business...to get off on the feeling of cold steel in our hand...to be wise enough to figure out what the rest of the world will never get: you can't fill up your empty places with what anyone else can give you. Love is for the weak minded. Anyone can fall in love. Only you...only me...only people like us can live without it and know, without a doubt, we aren't missing a thing. I've never been in love and I never will be."

Claudia was almost touching Jason now. She fought back the urge to take hold of his face in her hands and kiss the life out of him. The turned-on look in his eye was making it hard to think about doing anything else though.

She didn't want to catch feelings for him. Claudia just wanted him naked and sweat slicked...as hot for her as she was for him.

At first she had thought it would be a good business move to make Jason want her. That might still be true- and there wasn't a minute she forgot that- but she wanted him for more than just business reasons now...she wanted him because it would feel so damn good to have him inside of her. Something about how controlled he was made her believe he would be just as dominate in the bedroom...Claudia couldn't get hot over any man who didn't know how to slap her ass at just the right moment to make the pleasure just a little bit painful. Jason Morgan seemed the type who would take control if she let him, and she was just about ready to let him- at least long enough to release the sexual tension that bubbled between them.

But first she had to make it clear. This was not about love.

She went on "Love is nothing but a trap. You ever fall in?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

To any other mob rival he wouldn't admit the truth, but with Claudia he could go there. That probably came from thinking about her naked every minute of the day. It had forged a more intimate bond between them then anyone else he also thought about killing on a regular basis. If any other business associate asked about his love life he wouldn't lie, but he also wouldn't say a word.

His mouth was so dry, Jason barely could get out "Yeah."

He might hate to think about all he lost when he lost her, but Jason would never deny the love he felt in the past. Still he wouldn't go into details either. No one got to know about his daily walk through hell when he thought about who was with her now...who got to kiss her now...why it wasn't him.

_Claudia's onto something,_ he decided, _with her rant against love_.

Maybe she was a little out there in her theories, because Jason believed in love and that it could save a person- just not him, not anymore- but Claudia was right about them. They weren't fit for love.

She asked "Who took your heart, Jason, and how long did she have it before she tore it to shreds?"

"It doesn't matter now...I got to go. Someone is waiting on me."

"Carly is waiting on you, you mean."

"Yeah."

Their eyes stayed locked on each other. Claudia eased an inch closer. "Then go."

"Get home safe," he said and then walked off.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Claudia stood on the docks smiling.

_Get home safe. _

That was the first time he ever made it sound like he gave a true damn whether she lived or died. Maybe they were getting somewhere after all.

XXXXXXXXXXX

In the early morning, a few days later, Jason walked into the coffee house. He felt like shit. He hadn't been sleeping well at all lately. Thanks to Claudia Zacchara- Spinelli's Vixenella.

Jason's wet dream.

He had even thought about heading out to the Zacchara mansion to see her. He knew he must be losing it to even go there in his mind. But he totally had. On more than one occasional.

Jason walked past some customers and the barista, then spotted Milo standing gaurd by the door. He didn't even have to get a step closer before he heard the shouting from inside Sonny's office.

The rage in Claudia's voice was no joke when she shouted "I will fucking kill you!"

"I'm right here, bitch!"

Jason opened the door to see Claudia slam her hand down on Sonny's desk. "Give me back my brother. And I mean now. Or someone who you love will be dead by the time this day is done. You want that? You want to go to a funeral, Sonny?"

Jason asked "What's going on here?"

Claudia's head jerked around and her eyes met his. Disappointment and bitterness slammed into him, her dark brown eyes showcasing every hateful thing she felt for him in that moment. "So much for the truce, Morgan. John is _missing_."

Sonny said "That's your problem, not ours. Get your ass out of here."

"Hold on," Jason said, as he raised a hand up and told Sonny to wait. Then he asked Claudia "When did you see John last?"

"Yesterday morning at breakfast. But he called me around five last night and said he was on his way home. He never made it."

"We didn't do this," Jason said.

Claudia let out a derisive little laugh. "I should have known you'd lie to me. I might be a money worshiping, power hungry Zacchara but at least my word is good. What you two pulled...taking my brother...its gonna cost all of us more than we can afford to lose. Get ready to hurt, _boys, _like you have never hurt before. You both have people you can lose... and if I lose John, then you can consider them as good as dead."

Sonny stood up and grabbed her arm. "Don't you threaten my kids, whore."

Jason pushed Sonny back. "Don't put your hands on her!"

Sonny's eyes filled with rage. Another mark on their long, nasty record of betrayals they shared between them. Both had long memories. Nothing, no matter how small, was ever truly forgotten or forgiven. And one day...Jason already knew...when the boys were older and no longer the glue that held them together, he would walk away from Sonny and not look back.

Claudia told Jason "Don't bother sticking up for me. You couldn't keep my brother safe. You're useless to me."

She stormed out, yanking the door open so hard that the wall shook a little.

Jason slammed the door shut and asked Sonny "We don't have him, do we?"

"Why? You afraid you just lied to her? She your latest fuck buddy?"

"You told me to work things out with the Zaccharas. I did. Don't question me on how. Now...what do we know about where Johnny is?"

Sonny sat back down. "Not a damn thing, and I couldn't really give a fuck either."

Jason walked out. Pretty convinced Sonny was telling the truth. For his sake, he better be.


	41. part eight, jason and claudia

_Thanks for reading about Jaudia. As a huge Jarly fan, Sarah Brown is amazing to me, her talent is overwhelming and I'm honored to be able to write about her new character. Thanks for being interested enough to read this._

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. **

**Part Eight**

**February 2008**

Claudia Zacchara sped away from coffeehouse with fire shooting through her veins, making her pulse pound hard in her head and bringing on an instant headache. She felt tears sting the back of her eyes.

She couldn't lose John. He meant the world to her. He meant everything.

If Jason couldn't understand that...he wasn't half the man she thought he was.

XXXXXXXXXXX

One order to Spinelli and a few minutes of hacking later Jason had a lead on the whereabouts of Johnny Zacchara. Which was perfect timing because Lulu started beating down his apartment door, crying about her missing on again, off again whatever.

He told her "I'm looking into it. Wait for my call."

Jason headed out on his motorcycle, drove for over two hours and then walked into the hospital. At the front desk he asked "You bring in a John Doe last night?"

XXXXXXXXXXX

Another two hours passed, and then Claudia was running down the hallway of United Health Hospital. Her heels clicked on the floor and her heart raced. She didn't slow down until she was inside of the room number that Jason had mentioned on the phone.

She saw Jason standing by the window, and John in the bed. His head was bandaged. She was sure her own heart was about to tumble out of her chest. _Her boy_. Look what had happened to her boy.

Jason's voice caused her to jerk her eyes away from John. "He's sleeping. But he regained consciousness about twenty minutes after I got here. He knew his name ...recognized me... the doctors checked him out...you should talk to them...but he seems on his way to recovery."

She nodded then softly said "I always warned him about driving too fast. But it makes him feel alive." She walked over and touched his hand, then beat down and kissed his cheek. "I'm here, John. I'm right here with you. Don't be afraid."

Claudia stared at him for full minute, praying he would wake up right then but he didn't. She walked over to Jason. "Thank you. Thank you so much, really. I was looking in all the wrong places for him."

"Its okay. You were scared."

"I'm not apologizing for what I said earlier."

"I know."

"Cause I meant it. If I lose John...I lose whatever is left of my soul."

Jason touched her arm. She shivered.

He said "You didn't lose him. He's strong. He'll pull through."

She smiled, slightly. At that moment, she would have loved to have him take her into his arms and hug her. The very thought of wanting that shocked Claudia though.

Since when did she need hugs from the men in her life? Other than the only one she truly trusted, her brother. Since when was Jason Morgan...her friend?

XXXXXXXXXXX

Now he was playing her hero. _What the hell! What's wrong with you_? he asked himself.

He had jumped to save the day for her without even thinking...it was a familiar pattern for him...and it scared the living shit out of Jason to think of the only other woman that made him rush around half crazed, intent on setting her world right at all costs. There was no comparing the two. Or thinking he would ever feel for Claudia what he felt for her...but still...why was he feeling anything at all for Claudia Zacchara?"

He stepped away from her. "I should go." Jason started to walk away without waiting for answer, cause he needed some space between him and this woman that made him think about her way more than he wanted to.

"Get home safe," Claudia said.

He looked back at her- remembering his earlier words- and gave her a small smile, and nod. Then he walked out of the hospital room.

It was time to take a very long bike ride and figure out what the hell was going on in his head when it came to her.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

**A month went by **without Jason seeing Claudia. He decided there was no way he could guarantee that a working relationship wouldn't lead to a sexual one, and that having sex with her wouldn't make him go half mad. She was an enemy. She was sexy as hell. She could make him lose focus. Better to just walk away now before he wanted too much more from her.

He assigned Max to help Claudia bring her shipments in.

Jason started to be able to think straight again, after a few days away from her, and decided he had made the right choice.

He kept drinking, alone, at The Recovery Room and every time he did...he found himself double checking the room to make sure she was not there.

Then being disappointed when his search came up empty time and again.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Claudia still wanted Jason in her bed- _badly_.

When she got even the slightest glance of him in public- like the time she was shopping in The Metro Court boutique and spotted Jason in the lobby hugging Carly- she still craved his touch.

But she had John to nurse back to health. She had a crazy father in a mental hospital and his asshole lawyer who was getting closer and closer to getting Anthony released. She had her business to run- her drugs to push. Her money to count. And, most of all, she had her rules.

Rule number one: _Never give away your heart_.

In that hospital room that day, Claudia had felt her heart hanging out of her chest- over her brother being hurt- and she had wanted Jason to take it in his hands and put it back where it belonged. To put her together again.

That was unacceptable. She decided to stay the hell away from him. Because she didn't believe in what he was making her think about...she would never believe that love was really possible. Not for her. _Never._

XXXXXXXXXXXX

**March**

He should have stayed off the docks if he didn't want to run into her. But everyone in town walked the docks. They were a short cut to get to Kelly's from the warehouse district.

Jason spotted Claudia first, and then noticed the man in front of her, with his fingers wrapped around her arm, jerking her close. She jerked away and pulled out her gun.

Then Jerry Jacks came out of the shadows, in front of her, with his gun out. Back up for the stranger.

Jason pulled his weapon and jogged closer, in time to hear Claudia say "It would be the worst mistake of your life to think you can pull your trigger before I pull mine."

Jason said "Drop it, Jerry."

Seeing that he was outnumbered, Jerry smiled and tossed his gun in the river. "Just out for stroll and found that dirty old thing laying around. I was simply asking, Ms. Zacchara, if it was hers. Really, its not safe to raise a child in this town anymore...what with the kind of trash you find on the docks."

Jason kept his gun pointed at both the men.

The stranger said "We'll take up our discussion again later," and then walked off.

Jerry said "Have a nice evening, folks," and followed the man.

Jason put away his gun. Claudia turned to face him.

He asked "You want to tell me what that was about?"

"Just business."

"You do business with Jerry Jacks? Do you know what he's capable of? What he's done?"

"He's not an angel. Who is?"

"He blackmailed my sister. He put a gun to Carly's head. He shot Robin. He's garbage."

"You let him live after all that? What the hell for?" Her eyes searched his.

"Its...complicated."

"What isn't? But no one who fucks over my family lives long enough to do it a second time."

Jason said, "That's the thing...my family...he's Carly's brother-in-law."

"Even more of a reason to exterminate him."

"She thinks she would lose her marriage if I caused Jerry to...disappear. And I...I won't take that away from Carly...take away her chance, you know?"

"No. Not really. I'd take away Johnny's chance for love in a hot minute...if it meant saving his life."

Jason looked down. "Like I said...its complicated. She made her choice."

"Hmmm. Well we all make our choices and we all live and die by them. Some of us live a little faster and die a little quicker than others though."

"You mess with Jerry...and you're risking your life...and John's. He's more than ruthless...he's psychotic."

"I can handle him. Don't give it another thought. See you around, Morgan."

Jason straightened, slightly shocked by how she just dismissed him. He hadn't seen her in weeks and they hadn't really got much of a chance to talk right now...he wouldn't have minded a few more minutes with her. But it looked like Claudia had better things to do.

"Get home safe," Jason said to her.

She stopped, halfway up the stairs, and looked at him. "Want to make sure of that? How about giving me a ride?"

XXXXXXXXXXX

She had almost gotten away from him. She was so close to making her escape. So close to not touching him and not getting her head all jumbled up with thoughts about stubborn Jason Morgan, deadly Jason Morgan, all business Jason Morgan, ticked off Jason Morgan, protective Jason Morgan, horny Jason Morgan...all the Jasons she knew so far...and all the Jasons she missed having in her life.

But then he said _Get home safe_, and damn if she didn't think of those three words as their thing. So she gave in to temptation...and decided to spend just a little more time with her man of so little words.

Who needed words anyway? All she needed right now was for this ride on his motorcycle to not end. She rested her head on his back, sucked in the smell of leather and grease, and smiled.

Claudia might not fall in love. But there were things in life she did love. Her brother, naturally. Rome. Uncle Rudy. Expensive shoes. The color red. Money. The nickname Vixenella.

And now one more thing to round out the list: riding on the back of Jason's bike.


	42. part nine, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**March 2008**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. **

**Part Nine**

Jason pulled up to the gate at Claudia's house. The gaurd stepped out of the shack. Jason and Claudia took off their helmets. The look on the gaurds face when he saw them...sworn enemies both smiling and all buddied up...it was priceless. Claudia had to stifle her laugh.

She said "Well, let me the hell in, moron."

The gaurd opened the gate.

"Don't ever make me ask you again," she said.

"Yes, ma'am."

Jason drove her up to the door. She climbed off, smiling.

Claudia said "I have to get me one of those! I used to have a vespa in Rome but its not the same."

"No. Not at all."

"Does Spinelli ride too? Maybe we could all go out sometime, if he does."

"He rides like he walks."

"Oh." She winked at him. "Then we better not."

Jason smiled at her. Claudia just about lost her ability to stand up. _It's a damn shame_, she told herself, _that you are letting a man get to you like this_.

But he wasn't any man. And it wasn't the same...the way she felt when she looked at Jason, compared to the way she felt with other men...no, not at all. She could resist all the rest. But it would be a battle of mammoth proportions to go the rest of her life resisting Jason.

Claudia wasn't sure she wanted to anymore. But she also wasn't sure she didn't.

"Thank for the ride. I better get in...I have business calls to make."

"That guy on the docks. He give you trouble before?"

"I can handle him."

"That's not what I asked. I don't supposed you are gonna tell me who he is."

"No, I'm not. Cause he's my business, not yours. One bike ride don't entitle you to take over running my territory."

"Just be careful. If he is involved with Jerry Jacks, then he's dangerous."

"So am I."

He gave her a half smile this time. "Get inside. It's cold out here tonight."

She smiled. "I almost think you care..." she joked " but I'm jaded enough to know better."

Jason just looked at her, as his response.

"Well...see you around," she said.

"Take care of yourself."

"Get home safe."

"I will, Claudia."

"Bye."

"Good night."

She walked inside the mansion, looked back out the window, and saw Jason staring at the house still. Their eyes met. She waved and then let the curtain drop.

XXXXXXXXX

It might have gone on that way forever- little meetings here and there, but never making any real progress. Or they might have killed each other in mob war, had their business relationship went south.

But that wasn't the way Fate had it figured out for Jason Morgan and Claudia Zacchara. They were on a collision course with each other- as everything he loved most in this world, and everything she loved most in this world collided together one night at the cannery on the piers she owned.

Jason got the call from Max, and his heart nearly stopped, when the bodygaurd explained where he was and said "You got to come down here. Its Mrs. C."

"Carly...what happened to her?"

"Mrs. C got a call from Michael...he was down here with some kids...I think he was trying to buy a gun again...and they took all his cash and his bus pass...he needed a ride. So I brought Mrs. C and Morgan here...they went in...not a minute later..."

"WHAT?"

"The building exploded. I went in-"

Jason didn't hear the rest. He was too busy running for his SUV.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Claudia wandered through the burnt out building. "John! Johnny! John...where are you? Hey!"

_Mama,_ she spoke in her head to her mother, _where's my boy_?

Her clothes were wrecked. She had a bump on her head and her hands were all cut up from digging through wreckage. But she didn't care. She had to find Johnny. She started to call his name again, even though she felt her voice getting hoarse she only screamed louder.

A man came out of the darkness. He said "Hello. Who's there?"

Turning to look at him, Claudia said his name. "Ric."

"Claudia...you need to get out of here. This building could cave in at anytime."

"I'm not going anywhere without my brother. JOHNNY!"

"I'm serious. You're gonna get yourself killed. This place is extremely unstable."

"Since when are you anyone's hero? What are you even doing here?"

"I was touring the place with Marianne."

"Did she get out?"

"She's fine."

"Then what the hell are you still doing in here. Forget it. I don't care. Johnny...John!"

"You have to get out of here!"

"Stop talking to me and take your own fucking advice, Lansing!"

"I'm only here because of Morgan...he's missing."

"_Jason? _Jason's here?"

"No, no... Sonny and Carly's son. He's four."

"Johnny! Morgan! John! Morgan...oh God. God...don't do this."

_Love always kills,_ she thought to herself. _There are no exceptions_.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Jason ran up to the scene of chaos outside the cannery, with fire trucks and ambulances everywhere. Alexis was there standing near Sonny, they were in a heated arguement, but not screaming so Jason couldn't make it out. Marianna, the newest waitress at Kelly's, was there with a blanket around her. Lulu and Johnny were standing nearby. Mike Corbin was there...he must have ran over from the diner after hearing about the explosion on the news...had they mentioned Carly and the boys? Jason told himself to stay calm but he could barely think straight.

He spotted Max and grabbed his shoulder "Carly...the boys..."

"Michael is in that ambulance over there. But he's fine. In shock a little, they say. Carly is still inside-"

"WHY aren't your looking for her?"

"They won't let anyone back in. But I know Mrs. C is all right. I went in right after the explosion and found her and Michael...I brought him out but she wouldn't come...Morgan had ran off before the explosion...Mrs. C stayed in there to look for him."

Jason turned and ran toward the building. But Cruz Rodriguez grabbed him and held him back. "No one is going in there. We have enough people to search for already. I see you heading for that building again, Morgan, and you are under arrest."

Mac called out "Cruz, we having a meeting with the fire marshal...come on."

When Cruz walked off, Johnny Zacchara walked up. "You going in?"

"Yeah."

"Me too. Claudia is in there."

Jason took in a quick breath. _Claudia_, he thought.

Only Michael was safe, and Spinelli was at home...but Carly and Morgan were still in danger ...and Claudia...he had to go in. Not even the National Gaurd could have kept him out.

Jason and Johnny snuck around the building and crawled though a broken out window, after knocking out the remaining glass. They started to search, screaming out names. Suddenly Jason stopped. "Shhh."

"What?" Johnny asked.

Jason turned around and saw someone walking into the room. A minute later, she was in his arms. He whispered her name into her ear, then bent down to pick up the child standing next to them.

"Lets get out of here," Jason said.

"Not me," Johnny said "I'm not leaving Claudia."

"Claudia's here too?" Carly asked "So is Ric. I ran into him not long after Max took Michael out."

"Lansing?" Jason asked "He better not be responsible for this. Come on, we got to hurry. This building isn't safe."

They parted ways with Johnny. Jason took Carly and Morgan to an ambulance, though neither had any injuries beyond bruises. Lulu freaked when they came out without Johnny, and started screaming his name, till they were almost sure she was about to have a breakdown right there. Her screams were absolute gut wrenching.

Jason turned to go back inside.

Carly grabbed his jacket sleeve. "Don't think you are leaving my side. You're not going back in there."

"I have to."

"You_ have_ to? For _her?_"

"Carly...its complicated."

"Don't tell me that. Don't tell me its complicated. The fact that I need you alive isn't complicated. I don't give a damn about the life of that woman."

"But I do."

He turned to leave. Carly grabbed his arm, forcing Jason to turn and face her once more.

They stared at each other, and as they did, what was left of the building exploded for a second time.


	43. part ten, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**March 2008**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language. **

**Part Ten**

As they stood in the chaotic scene outside of the cannery, Jason looked into Carly's eyes, knowing that he had to turn and leave her...knowing there was no choice, no matter what she wanted.

His mind frantically screamed at him that even though he had saved his family...he hadn't saved everyone who needed him...he hadn't saved Claudia...and the one she needed most- Johnny**.**

All around them people were screaming and crying. Sonny had ran over and taken Morgan into his arms. Alexis was there, awkwardly wrapping her arms around a screaming Lulu- who wanted Johnny to come back out- and Michael was inside a nearby ambulance...suffering from shock.

Jason took all that in, and all of Carly's concerns about his safety, but it didn't change what he had to do.

Suddenly another explosion rang out. He threw himself on Carly and they went tumbling to the ground. He asked her "You okay?"

Carly nodded.

Jason looked over and spotted Sonny holding Morgan in his arms, on the ground a foot away. Lulu was closer to the building and some debris had fallen on her. Paramedics ran over there.

Jason pulled away from Carly and took off running for the fiery wreckage...knowing it was already too late. That was just how his life went. He was always just a little too late to get what he really wanted. He was always stuck settling for _almost_.

_Claudia,_ he thought. _Sexy...broken...tough as hell...funny...smart...ruthless...full of life...life changing...Claudia. Don't...be...gone_.

XXXXXXXXX

She was holding Johnny's hand when they hit the water. He had found her about two minutes before the explosion went off. They hugged and he looked up, saying "Thank you, God...thank you...Claudia, what is that?"

She looked at the ceiling beam and spotted a second bomb. She grabbed his hand and they ran toward the nearest exit and found themselves on the loading dock. The building blew up and the force of the blast threw them into the water.

Claudia didn't want to leave go of his hand but somehow it happened anyway. She found herself sinking lower and lower in the black murky depths, and she wondered if she was already dead. She got tangled in some fishing lines. She clawed at them but couldn't get loose. Her lungs burned and blackness nipped at the edges of her consciousness.

_Damn it, what a fucking waste of a life_, she thought. _I didn't do anything right...didn't take care of Johnny right...didn't kill Daddy and spare the world that monster who puts his dirty hands on little girls...didn't fall in love. Cause love doesn't exist...didn't kiss Jason_.

Claudia managed to get a pocket knife out and cut the fishing line.

She struggled to reach the surface. _God, I don't want to die...I want to live...I got to get this living thing right...I gotta kiss that hot as hell man. Please_.

XXXXXXXXX

Jason couldn't go back in the building, cause there was no building left. He worked around the outside of the shell, calling Claudia's name over and over, looking for any sign of her. He came around to the loading docks and saw Johnny hanging onto the dock. He was pulling off his shoes and tossing them away from him. Jason ran over and offered him a hand out of the water.

Johnny said "No...Claudia's still underneath. I gotta go look for her."

Jason stripped off his jacket and boots and dived in. He had a lot to live for, he could see now, unlike he thought last month. Even if he couldn't ever share his life with the woman, from his past, that he had loved for so long...loved the best he could, even if it wasn't perfect or enough...he still could find something to go on for.

This wasn't the time to eat his gun or drown in this damn cold ass river. It was the time to live. To find Claudia and stop thinking about why they wouldn't work...he just wanted to have in his arms for the first time ever and figure out the rest later.

Maybe it wasn't too late after all.

XXXXXXXXX

Claudia busted through the surface of the water and found herself looking at a burning building. Sirens wailed in the air. Screams could be heard in the distance. She could have sworn it was two alternating female voices yelling "Johnny!" "Jason!"

_Jason?_ Claudia sent up a quick prayer she heard that wrong and he wasn't laying underneath a beam in that burnt out building. She might not be his best friend, his love or his confidant...but she wanted a chance to be something to him. Something real.

She didn't have time to think much about that now though. She had to look for her brother. She sucked in a deep breath, got ready to dive under, when Johnny popped up.

He asked "You okay?"

"Alive and kicking. You too, huh? That goes to show you...you can't keep a good Zacchara down. Lets get out of here."

"Not yet. I gotta dive down again...you get on the dock."

"No! Not without you! Don't tell me Lulu fell in trying to save you or something?"

"Not Lulu..." Johnny said.

Claudia could hardly believe her eyes when Jason came up out of the water not more than five feet in front of her. He asked her if she was okay and she snarked back "You can't kill evil. I'm fine."

The screaming seemed to be getting closer.

"Johnny!"

"JASON!"

Johnny said "Lets go," and started to swim for the dock. They all got back out of the water and lay there, catching their breaths. Johnny was the first one to stand up.

Johnny said "I need to tell Lulu I'm okay."

Jason sat up. "Could you...could you tell Carly that we're fine to?"

Johnny nodded and left.

Jason's eyes brushed over her body. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I feel all right for just dodging death like three times in a row." Claudia turned her head to look at Jason. "You came to _save _me. Don't you know I'm not the kind of woman who requires rescuing? I'm the one who does the rescuing."

"I'll try and remember that the next time."

"Well...if you really feel the need...I guess you could come after me if I'm caught in a burning building or stranded on the side of a mountain in a snowstorm or something dramatic like that."

"Why would you be on a mountain?"

"Just sayin'."

"You climb mountains?"

Claudia sat up. She leaned closer to him. "You, Morgan, are just too literal sometimes."

"You're okay..."he said, under his breath, as he raised his hand and brushed back a strand of her wet hair.

"Yeah, I'm okay," she whispered back.

"Good," he said, and then his mouth was on hers, and her hands were clutching at his t-shirt and yanking him even closer, then her arms wound their way around his neck.

Both Jason and Claudia shivered in the freezing late winter air, but neither one minded. It was a kiss to die for...and, to get the chance to share it, they had almost had done just that.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

When they walked around the building together a few moments later, Carly spotted Jason and threw herself into his arms. Claudia slipped away without saying another word to him. As he held Carly, Jason and Claudia just shared one last, promised filled look between them.

Jason and Carly crawled in the back of the ambulance and went with Michael to the hospital. Sonny took Morgan back to Alexis' house...the kid needed to be away from danger, sirens and high drama. He would feel comforted by seeing his sister and cousin, plus Alexis was good at mothering and right now Carly couldn't focus on her youngest son because her older one was still in need of medical treatment.

Spinelli came down to General Hospital with clothes for Carly and Jason.

A few hours later, Michael was starting to recover from his shock but they decided to keep him overnight. They got Michael settled into his room and the Jason and Carly stepped into the hallway.

He said "Do you want me to stay the night here with you two?"

"Yes...but..." Her eyes searched his.

"I'll stay then."

She leaned into him. "Jase."

He wrapped his arms around her waist. She was safe. The boys were all safe. Even Johnny and Claudia had made it. It was miracle.

The diving team was still looking for Ric. Jason wasn't too concerned if they found him or not.

Carly asked "Are you gonna tell me what is going on with you and her?"

"What..." Jason asked slowly. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything! Why? How? When? You know who she is...who her father is...she's a threat to our family...to our boys."

"Claudia isn't going to hurt our family because I won't let anyone do that...and if she hurts me then that is on me."

"If she hurts you, she won't live to tell the tale. Don't think I don't have something planned for Liz too."

"Carly! Don't joke like that."

"Jase..." Once again her eyes searched his.

"It will be okay. Trust me."

"I'm trying to but I think you might have lost your mind...cause she's just not right for you."

Jason smiled, then chuckled.

Carly asked "What's so funny?"

"This is good. You, me...arguing about who I'm dating. Even after what happened tonight...things are normal."

"You're _dating _her?! I thought you were just screwing around! Oh, damn it."

Jason laughed and hugged his best friend again. He did have a lot to live for...and a lot to look forward to...after he handled taking care of his family he would ride out to Crimson Point and see if Claudia had bought that motorcycle yet.

XXXXXXXXX

Right after the explosion, Claudia and John walked into the den of their mansion, both soaked to the bone. She said "I need a shower and a drink. Not in that order."

She poured herself a scotch and water, and offered Johnny one. He waved it off.

He asked "What's the deal with you and Morgan? I wasn't gonna bring it up...but I got to know. Cause he's not somebody to play around with, Claudia. He's our enemy."

"He's also a man, John, and I'm a woman. I forgot that for a while there, I think. I remembered I was a Zacchara, a killer, a dark force of mischief, a creator of mayhem, a one night stand for a string of losers I'll never see again, an angry daughter, a grateful sister...but a woman...no...I had pushed that part of me so deep inside I thought it would never come out again." She smiled slightly. "He brings it out of me. I'm not giving him up."

"I just hope that Morgan is as good a guy as you think he is. I don't want anyone breaking my sister's heart."

She chuckled. "Just be glad to have it officially confirmed that I actually have one."

He chuckled and pulled her into his arms.

_Note- Okay, just one chapter left in this! Thanks for reading._


	44. part eleven, jason and claudia

**The Claudia Zacchara Collective**

**Gunpowder and Lead**

**March 2008**

**Rated R- for extremely harsh language and adult themes.**

**Part Eleven**

Jason couldn't get out to Crimson Point until eight o'clock the next night. He spent the day taking care of Michael and talking to him, yet again, about not messing with guns. He prayed it stuck this time. Once Carly and Michael were back at home, and Jax was back in town from his business trip, Jason rode out to the Zacchara mansion.

He decided to avoid the gaurd station and sneak onto the property. He had done it before, last fall, in order to check into what Anthony was up to, so he knew just how to accomplish it. Jason headed up to the second floor and checked out two bedrooms before he found the one with all the red heels in the closet.

Damn, he loved those shoes. Claudia had better never give up wearing them.

XXXXXX

Claudia hated having time on her hands. The more time she had to think, the worst things went for her. She would get to thinking about her father, and then her thoughts would turn dark as a moonless night.

Insecurities would wrap themselves around balls of anger in her gut, she'd start to think the world was a soulless place and she was the most soulless part in it.

She threw herself into work the day after the cannery explosion. She tried to avoid thinking about her kiss with Jason and why he hadn't called her yet.

_You aren't his woman_, Claudia told herself as she walked up to her bedroom around eight forty-five that night. _He doesn't have to check in with you._

She almost had herself convinced she didn't care at all what Jason was doing and with what drop dead gorgeous blond he was doing it with, when she opened the door and saw him sitting on her bed. Claudia didn't smile. Instead her eyes filled with a dead serious heat...all aimed at the only man who made her pulse pound. There was Jason Morgan...and then there was every other man in the world. He was the best, all the others were runner-ups and wannabes. She wanted the best for herself...the blue eyed hero in hitman clothing...the closed off...annoy the hell out of her one minute and make her want his body the next...man who had made her cold heart thaw just a fraction.

She walked in and slammed the door behind her, the sound reverberated.

Within a second, Jason was across the room. His hands on her face, titling her mouth up to connect with his. They explored each other like two starving people would devour a meal. It was raw, animal need that drove them.

Not love. Not the dream of happy ever after. At the foundation of their relationship was something much more simple, the knowledge that : _Life is short. This feels right._

XXXXXXXXXXX

Her hands moved under his shirt, her nails raked across his abs. Jason ripped his shirt off and tossed it aside as quick as he could because he wanted her mouth to replace her fingers. Claudia kissed his jaw first, then moved lower to his neck, with her body pressed against his...her nipples poking at the fabric of her bra and dress.

She had way too much clothes on for him. He had been thinking about what her body would look like everyday for over a month. He needed to see her...see the curve of her breast...see the ass that he could now finally touch...after weeks of thinking about squeezing it and having to act like that was the last thing on his mind every time he ran into her.

_Why did I waste so much time_? he thought to himself _I have to quit doing that shit. Seriously._

He had destroyed too many chances at happiness by doing that...lost so much he couldn't get back...he didn't want to ruin him and Claudia before they even got started like he had all but ruined him and...

Claudia grabbed his face between her hands, forcing him to look into her eyes. "If you want to be here with me...be here with me, Jason."

He wanted her. He needed her. This was where they had been going from the start. "I'm right here."

"Good. Cause I can't wait another second." Claudia kissed him and Jason lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his back. The bed was right behind them but instead he pushed her against the door.

One day he would make love to her slowly. Maybe when they both figured out what love looked like when they were the two people sharing it. Right now he wanted to just drive himself into her, to claim her as his, to bury himself deep in this woman that drove him to distraction, that made him forget she was his enemy and he was the one who could be sent to kill her one day...if she didn't kill him first.

He pushed aside her panties, and then forced himself to slow down for a moment as he ran his finger over the center of her until she was hot and ready for that same finger to enter her.

Claudia moaned. Jason's gut clenched and he knew he had to get out of his jeans and quick. That one moan...it was nearly his undoing.

He kissed her as his finger brought her closer to the edge. God, she tasted like sin- like expensive red wine and cigarettes and chocolate. This erotic combination of all her favorites suddenly became an addiction for him. He needed to taste her again and again and again, never breaking their kiss, even as her moans grew louder and her body banged against the door faster and faster.

"Please," she cried, as he knew what she wanted.

This time there was no negotiation between them. She asked for him and he gave her just that. He brought her feet to the ground, reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet to take out a condom. She already had his jeans unbuttoned and then her hand slid inside, causing Jason to let out a low groan.

Their eyes met. They both knew neither could take it slow tonight. Not this first time. They were too far gone now...way too ready and needy and hungry. He slipped off the rest of his clothes. She led him over to the bed and laid him on his back, then rolled the condom on him. The feel of her hands moving along his length had him aching to get inside of her.

Her hands went to the waist of her wrap dress and she undid the sash. Her hands moved over her own stomach and breasts. Jason sat up and pulled down the straps of her bra. His eyes feasted on the site of her bare skin, while his hands kneaded her flesh and then his tongue darted out and swept across one nipple. A low moan escaped the back of her throat.

She shrugged the rest of the way out of the dress. He yanked down her underwear and she stepped out of them.

_She's too fucking gorgeous, _he thought._ Too fucking dangerous. Too fucking right and wrong and everything in between. She's Claudia Zacchara...she's mine now. Just mine_.

She sunk onto him. Jason held her hips and they started something together that neither ever expected to find. Something different than love, but more complicated that simple lust.

Something grown up. Something too hot to fucking walk away from anytime soon.

**THE END**

Thank you for reading this story.

I'm starting a new short story series because the new set I'm writing are all for the mature section. They get a little spicier and I pushed the teen rating till its outer limits with Gunpowder and Lead.

Look for a short Jaudia tale, if you still want to read about them, soon in the _Its Starts With a Kiss _Series, with more couples to follow as time goes on including JoMax, Naudia and Jarly.


	45. My One True Friend, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

_Luckily._

This is a transcript from General Hospital on the day this story begins.

Summer of 2003- Nikolas and Emily are only pretending to be in love while she has cancer and Stefan is intent on marrying Nikolas to Lydia. Summer has just died and Lydia is flirting with Lucky incessantly. This scene takes place a few hours before the story below starts.

Lucky: You're really in love with Emily, aren't you?

Nikolas: Well, we're getting married.

Lucky: Well, something about your engagement seemed off to me.

Nikolas: What, because it was so fast?

Lucky: Maybe.

Nikolas: I mean, because, you know, that's -- that's how things happen sometimes, just -- bam -- out of nowhere. It's like being struck by lightning, I guess. We blink and blink, and the world's a different place than it was a second ago. If you're fortunate, it gets better. Sometimes it get worse. Usually a little bit of both. Either way, you're in it and there's no turning back..

_One change in the life story of Emily Quatermaine has a ripple effect on her future. Luckily. _

_The title comes from a Bette Midler song._

_I was first a Luckily fan and then a Nem/LL2 fan. This is one way the story could have been done to end up with Luckily instead._

_Emily and Lucky are both telling this story to people. It will be revealed later who she is speaking to and who he is speaking to about their life together._

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter One**

**Emily**

**Looking back on June 30, 2003**

_This is what I what most in the world._

That thought drifted through my mind as my lips moved toward his...right before we kissed for the second time in our lives. And I was sure, so sure, sure in the way only a protected girl like me could be...one who has always had someone standing between her and the dangerous world...that this time he would see me, and he would love me. This time I would get my dream come true.

I would get my Prince.

His lips did connect with mine but our kiss was not the start of a fairytale...God, I was such an idiot to think it would be...because he broke the kiss quickly and pulled away. His dark brown eyes were filled with pity, and that truly destroyed something inside of me. Little girl's fantasies do not die like lambs, they die like lions- roaring loud in their chest, rumbling out their heartbreak till those dreams sputter out to nothingness leaving only loss in its place.

It only made it that much more tragic to know I was inching toward true death in that very moment.

In his noble, quiet way, he apologized and I stammered out enough words to hopefully wipe away his guilt at not wanting me, then I turned and ran. Because I couldn't stand there and feel so foolish, like such a child in his eyes.

So I ran and I ran and I didn't stop moving til I was knocking on the door of the one person in the world who would just hold me and make it all feel better. He opened his door, and his face filled with concern at the sight of tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Lucky."

"Em?"

My name on his lips, and I could hear all he didn't say. _What's wrong? You came to the right place. I'm here for you...and I will always be here_.

"He doesn't want me...he doesn't see me like that...just like before!"

I fell into his arms, a crying mess of emotions. Some of it was over Nikolas and some of it over my fears of the breast cancer I had and some of it was just my own embarrassment because I wasn't a sixteen year old kid who came onto Nikolas anymore. I was all grown up. I should have been able to tell fantasy from reality. But the moments our lips touched I knew it was just something I made up in my head...all my big feelings for him...cause I needed the distraction and I needed to believe in magic. That his love would save my life, pull me back from death, and make me a princess with a storybook ending.

I couldn't have felt more stupid afterwards if I had stripped myself naked in front of him.

Lucky wrapped his strong, muscular arms around me and pulled me close to him. It was not the muscles though that made me feel safe. He was able to do that for me since before he had even any muscles at all...when he was just a kid on a skateboard, the boy with a dog and purple popsicles.

"Shhh," Lucky said into my hair. "Shhh. You're okay."

And cause he said that, I really believed it. I pulled back and used both hands to wipe my tears away. He closed the door to his room above Kelly's.

My back was to him when I started speaking again. "I'm being a fool. I know that. Zander loves me and a big part of me still loves him too but when I thought Nikolas might actually want me..."

"Hold up. You're engaged to my brother. Of course he wants you."

Its was so hard to turn around and let him see the lie on my face. I had been keeping so much from him. But I knew once I told him...it will be real. The illusion of normalcy would fall down. Nikolas knowing about my breast cancer, Mom knowing, even going to the support group...that was not the same as Lucky knowing.

Slowly I turned around and our eyes met. I thought kissing Nikolas, earlier in that day would change the whole course of the rest of my life, but it came in that moment when Lucky saw my face, and saw that I had been lying to him. He loved me anyway. He supported me fully. He only cared that I was all right...not that I lied and I kept secrets.

"My engagement was a ruse."

"Okay, sit down here and talk to me."

We both sat on the bed. I laced my fingers together and looked down at them, while biting my lip. He took both my hands and placed them between his, which forced me to face toward him.

Lucky said "You never fell in love with Nikolas?"

"Oh, I did...you know I did...when I was sixteen, remember?"

He smiled slightly. "Sure. You taught him how to hip hop dance at the Quatermaine mansion. He still tells that story all the time...and you kissed him on your birthday. So, if you loved him then, and that love came back now...then why is your engagement a lie and why...why were you lying to me?"

"Please don't be mad at me."

"I could never stay mad at you for long. Don't you know how much I missed you when you were gone, Em, and don't you know by now that you can tell me anything?"

"I'm so ashamed of myself."

"No...come on. You don't got to feel bad. Tell me now."

"Stefan wants Nikolas to marry Lydia to save the family fortune."

"Don't I know it? That chick is always around, driving me half crazy."

"She's bothering you? I'll have a talk with her. She's just has such an entitled attitude! Like she deserves that mansion and a royal title, even though she doesn't love him at all. She doesn't even know him."

"So you were faking an engagement to try and stop Stefan's plan to marry Nik off? Hey, you could have told me that. When haven't I helped you with a scheme? I thought I'm your back up."

He said it in such a sweet way that I couldn't help but smile. He really was my emergency phone call in any situation... but I hadn't called him as soon as I learned I had cancer because then he would have known I was leaving him forever soon.

My mouth got dry, just at the thought of telling him that. The one thing I hate to see is Lucky Spencer's heart breaking in his eyes. He is my best friend and I should be able to stop that from happening but this time I can't.

"That was only part of the reason," I told him, my words soft and slowly falling off my lips. "The other was to keep Zander at arm's length from me because I do love him...but I can't be with him."

"Did he hurt you somehow? Just tell me what he did and I will go see that guy. I'll keep him away from you."

"No! Please don't do that. He didn't hurt me but if I was with him right now...I would hurt him...because I would leave him soon...leave him all alone...Lucky, I really wish you were still with Liz...I really do...I'm so sorry... I'm leaving you alone, too."

"Emily, you went from you and Zander to me and Liz. Liz is married to Lansing. She don't want me...and that's all right. I'm all right. Don't worry about me. Now why would you leave Zander really soon if you let yourself be with him again? Are you going back to Stanford next semester? Cause, you know, Port Charles University isn't ivy league but it has its perks...like your friends and family being close by. You could just stay here...I wouldn't complain a bit if you did."

I smiled as tears started to flow down my face. He murmured my name and pulled me into another hug. "I still don't understand," he said "Why did you have to fake being in love with Nikolas to push Zander away?"

Into his ear, I whispered the words I never wanted to tell him "Because I have breast cancer and I'm dying."

I sobbed and sobbed in his arms, and he did for me what he always did, he made me feel whole again. And somewhere in the middle of all that madness, I started to fall in love with my best friend...but being who I am...of course I didn't realize that till so much later.

I only knew he was my hero, like always.

And then years later, I would wonder, if I hadn't started to love him much sooner than that summer day...maybe before all my crushes and all the fairytales and all the other heartbreaks...it had been Lucky all along. But I'm getting ahead of myself now...

**Coming up: The next chapter is Lucky's first person POV of this day.**


	46. part two, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Two**

**Lucky**

**Looking back on June 30, 2003**

It was a day like any other day. I was in my little room above Kelly's, strumming on the guitar no one thought I played anymore, and then she knocked on my door.

There was no question, she had always been my best friend and would never stop being there for me. Others had conditions on my love, even my family, but not her.

Emily Quatermaine always loved me unconditionally. How could I help but love her back? That was out of my control but I wouldn't have had it any other way, even if I could have.

It wasn't about if she ever fell _in love _with me, or saw me as anything more than her friend, I only wanted her to have all she wanted out of this life. That would have been enough to satisfy me. I didn't even call my feelings for her being_ in love_ on that hot summer day...it didn't have a name in my head or heart back then.

It was simply what I felt for Emily- it was strong and steady, an intense devotion, a deep and true and unbreakable bond.

When I opened the door, her eyes were already teary and her face a mask of sadness. I hated seeing her that way. It just about tore my heart out. I took her in and did the only thing I knew how to do. Talked her down off the ledge and held her tight. She tried to explain what made her fall apart that day but it was all a jumble of half sentences and disjointed explanations.

She tried to kiss Nikolas. Huh? She was engaged to Nikolas. Why wouldn't he want to kiss her?

She loved Zander still but she would only hurt him and leave him._ Leave him how? When? Where is she going? _I'm not ashamed to admit that I also thought, when she said that, _She's leaving me too that means._

So I tried to talk her out of it. Can't blame a guy for trying, right? She might have liked her fancy West Coast university but PCU has it all over Stanford, if you ask me, cause at Port Charles University I could see her everyday. See that she was happy. Make sure she stayed that way. Back then, that's all I really wanted most in life...Emily happy...but I don't think she really knew how much she meant to me. Maybe I didn't even really know how much she meant.

I had my arms wrapped around her when I said "I still don't understand. Why did you have to fake being in love with Nikolas to push Zander away?"

Into my ears, she softly whispered the truth "Because I have breast cancer and I'm dying."

Most people, I seriously doubt, ever feel their soul move inside of them. But mine did in that second. It shifted and everything went off-kilter. I pulled back and looked in her eyes. "You are not dying."

"I could be," she said, her words soft and broken. "I've known for months and now you know and now...now...it can't be ignored anymore." She started to sob, her body wracked with fear and pain, and all I could do was hold her till she stopped.

When she did, we were laying back on the bed, my back against the headboard and her head on my chest. I kept smoothing my hands through her hair till she was quiet again. There was only one thing I knew in that moment. She could not die. I could not let her. I would fight for her, with my prayers and my love and my faith, and she would survive. There was no time to waste thinking anything else might happen...I would simply not allow room for that in my brain.

She looked up at me and our eyes met. She said "I really wanted Nikolas to love me...as a woman...but you know what? I was using him to distract myself...and not face my illness and Zander and even you...cause once everyone knows...I have to start fighting to live and stop waiting to die and I'm afraid...God, I am so afraid, Lucky...that no matter how hard I fight I will die anyway...like my mom did."

"You will not die. You'll beat this cancer."

"How can you know that?"

"Every time something bad happens...what do I do for you?"

Her face crumpled and she buried it on my chest, as fresh tears fell on my t-shirt. "You come and save me."

"So I'll save you this time."

"You might not be able to!"

I reached down and took her hand in mind. "I'm not leaving go of you."

When she looked back up again, the smallest trace of hope shone out of those beautiful brown eyes. She sat up fully and looked at me, but her hand still clutched mine.

"I wanted to tell you the day I came back...when we were in Kelly's and you had that delivery that was for me...it was experimental medicine from Mexico. But then I never wanted to tell you, too. I didn't want this to be real and I didn't want my last days spent being sad. I didn't want to let Zander love me again...just to leave him lonely...and I don't want to even think about leaving everyone else behind...Jason doesn't know or AJ or Liz...and now I have to tell them...because you know and its all real."

"Nikolas knew already, right?"

"Yeah...but that wasn't real. It was different. We were pretending together. Pretending we were in love and engaged and life would be like a fairytale. It sounded so good to me...I tried to make it real."

"You fell in love with my brother for the second time in your life."

"I guess you could call it that but it was the same kind of love I had for him as a teenager...this magical dreamy kind...like a real life living fantasy. But, just like then, its not his reality. Maybe he still loves Gia...I don't know...maybe he could never see me as anything but a little girl. It doesn't matter...it hurt so much when he pushed me away but it doesn't hurt half as bad now. You made it better, Lucky."

"I didn't do anything."

She lifted our hands that were still joined together. "You didn't leave go. That's everything to me."

Looking in her deep brown eyes, I knew I would never leave go. Things with everyone else I loved could get shaky as a 9.0 earthquake but when it came to me and Emily I would just keep hanging on and hanging on...death would not take her from me. She was my best friend then and she is my best friend now, all these years gone by later, and looking back I can finally see that it was something in our conversation that day that shifted who we were to each other...made love start to morph to _in love._

Or maybe it all started back in the days of skateboard races around her mansion, and chasing Foster and Annabelle around my backyard. All I really know is whenever it started it didn't end in the summer of 2003 when cancer ravaged her body. Like every time before, together we fought back death and danger and came out all the stronger for it.

Yet, she never knew that each day I started to love her more, just like today, during the summer five years later...when I am still loving her more and more...and she is still oblivious to how she can twist my heart around her little finger.


	47. part three, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Three**

**2005**

Here is the transcript from this day on GH:

Emily: Don't do it, Lucky. She's not going to kill me.

Helena: On the contrary, nothing would give me greater pleasure.

Emily: You know Nikolas is going to hate you if you do. No matter what you say to him, he's never going to forgive you.

Helena: Well, I'd offer you a wager on that, but you won't be around for me to collect. On the count of three, I'll kill her. One --

Lucky: Ok.

Helena: Drop it. Drop it! Kick it away. Well. You've made this easier than I expected. Now, hold still. No, hold still. I am going to try to shoot you both with one bullet.

Gunshot

Emily: Lucky! Lucky! Oh, God --

Helena: Oh, you foolish girl, there's no reason for tears. You won't have time to mourn your friend. You're going to die, too.

**Note- the line below from Steven was the actual line used on GH.**

**Emily **

**Looking back on January 28, 2005**

Most people would not understand how it could be that moment when I saw Lucky shot by Helena Cassadine that I would call the worst moment in my life...just days before I had been raped by a man who had the same face as my old friend, and my old crush, Nikolas.

We had all been working hard to get him out of jail, never knowing that Conner was so insane and obsessed with me. If Lucky even suspected he would not have left me alone at that cabin with him. I shattered into so many broken pieces after being attacked that I wished for death for myself...but it was seeing that bullet enter Lucky and seeing him fall to the floor of that crypt, thinking he was dead and lost to me, that I deem the worst thing I ever endured.

Because I knew then, like I do now, I can not live on this earth without Lucky and I can not be the reason he dies. He threw himself in front of that bullet to save me, like he always saved me and I couldn't face knowing his love for me had cost him his life. It might not have seemed, at that moment in time, I would ever feel good about myself or life again after the rape but I knew my best - no, my only- chance at making it to the other side of the blackness was in letting Lucky wrap his arms around me and pull me through.

"LUCKY!" His name wrenched itself from my very soul and out of my mouth as I dropped to the ground to cradle his bleeding body. "Oh God, no...no...no..."

"Don't cry, orphan Emily, you can join your friend in the great beyond and you can do it right now. You've been nothing but an annoyance to me since you met my grandson and now your recklessness has led to his death. You, a pathetic little poor mouse from the slums of the desert, do not deserve to breathe when Nikolas can not."

I had pulled Lucky into my lap at that point and found his pulse. My hands pressed hard on his wound, as blood covered them. "I told you its Conner who died. Not Nikolas! Please call for help for Lucky...please...haven't you done enough to him already? Don't you dare let him die like this!"

"What will you do to me if I do? You have no power, little Emily. No way to save your friend or yourself. Even if it was this Conner who died, as you claim, and if I should choose to believe what is likely your desperate lie to try and save yourself...Lucky is still moments away from meeting his maker and this is just too good of an opportunity to pass up to remove you, too, from my grandson's life...if he really does still have one."

She was completely insane, but it wasn't a temporary thing, wasn't something I could hope she would snap out of at any moment. I couldn't see how I could save Lucky. But I had to try. So I reached into Lucky's pocket and pulled out his phone.

"Put that away!" Helena yelled at me.

I couldn't listen to her though. I had to try and help him, even if it took my last breath to do it. "Hold on, Lucky. Don't leave me. I'm getting you help. Stay here...I need you so much," I begged him as I dialed.

"You stupid little peasant!"

Gunshots rang through the air, and I waited to feel the bullets pierce my skin but the impact never came. Zander had found us and shot Helena. She pulled the trigger to shoot me at the same moment he burst into the room and the distraction had made her shot go wide, lodging into the wall of the crypt.

"Emily," Zander said as he crouched next to me. "Are you okay, baby?"

"Look what she did to him! Look what she did to Lucky!" Tears rolled over my cheeks and shuddered wracked my body as I called 911. I bent close to Lucky. "Keep breathing...keep breathing...don't leave us all behind...you're my best friend and I am ordering you to fight."

Chaos soon surrounded us with cops and paramedics working to save Lucky and Helena, and a med evac helicopter landing on Spoon Island to carry them to the mainland. Zander wrapped his arms around my waist as we stood to the side and watched. But his arms were not Lucky's...and I needed Lucky most then...just like always.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I stood in that emergency room feeling half dead myself, fearing a doctor walking out and telling all of us- Liz, Nikolas, Zander, my Dad and me- that Lucky was gone. When Steven Webber finally did walk toward us, I started to sway on my feet...so afraid he would say the wrong thing.

Lucky and Liz were broken up at that time, but as involved as ever really, still I felt like the one whose whole life depended on Lucky recovering.

Steven said "He's awake and he's asking to see you, Emily."

The relief that washed through me hearing that...I'd never felt anything like that before. Lucky had survived. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Not what happened to Helena. Not Conner and how evil he had been and how he had changed me forever. Not my pain or my fear...just that Lucky was still alive.

I rushed to his side and took his hand. God, he looked beautiful to me. My best friend...weak but hanging in there, fighting to live and be by my side. "Hey, Lucky."

"Em."

"You're going to be fine. Believe that, okay?"

"Helena's caught?"

"Yes...Zander shot her. She's in surgery. She can't hurt us anymore."

"Nikolas will be released now...right?"

"Yes. You did good. You saved my life...I love you."

A small smile curved his lips and he whispered "I love you, too," and then he fell into unconsciousness.

I kept saying his name over and over and over, just pleading with him to wake up, but it was weeks before he did. So many people gave up on him ever waking up, not because they did not love him but the doctors said we had to let go...he was not coming back...he would never breathe on his own again. But Lulu and me, we did not believe the doctors. See...we just couldn't...cause we needed our hero and no one else but Lucky would do to fill that role.

XXXXXX

**Looking back on February 25, 2005**

I would sit at his bedside every day, feeling so selfish because I needed him to fix my problems when he should only be focused on waking up from his coma. I needed him so...so much more than I even could have put into words still I would sit there everyday and try to tell him all he meant to me.

I took hold of his hand on the cold, windy winter day, where outside the weather was brutal, and inside this hospital room was sterile and cold as a tomb, and I begged him to open his eyes for me.

"I have no one else I can lean on...not like you, Lucky. Zander tries so hard to help me but he can't break through all the walls I put up. Nikolas is home now and he's around but he's suffering so bad himself...worried about you and tormented by his time in prison. Liz has Cameron to take care of and she's wrecked over you too...Jason is crazed with worry about Micheal and Morgan and Kristina because they've been kidnaped...Mom and Dad are mourning AJ's death still...I have no one...I need you...you could make me feel like myself again...you could take away all this darkness in me, only you could do that, Lucky...please come back to me..."

And like the miracle I had prayed for, his eyes fluttered open. All I really knew then was that Lucky was my salvation on earth. I didn't know how deep my feelings ran...but I knew that life was nothing without Lucky. Maybe that should have said it all to me. But, like I said before, I just didn't see the truth that was right in front of me.

I leaned close to him, my face full of tears, "Oh my God, you're really awake..."

He had been on a ventilator for weeks, and it only came out a few days before, so he couldn't really speak right away but he didn't have to for me to see the relief in his eyes, and see how much he cared about me.

I kissed and caressed his cheek. "Lucky, Lucky, Lucky...thank you for coming back."


	48. part four, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Four**

**Lucky **

**Looking back on** **February 25, 2005**

I don't remember making the choice to throw my body in front of Emily's when Helena was about to shoot her. Instinct made me save Emily. She counted on me to do it and I would always try my hardest not to let her down.

Sometimes I still hate myself for not saving her every time...saving her from being kidnaped by Zander, saving her from being raped by Conner, saving her from every time she ever cried or felt fear or pain.

But on that day in the winter of 2005, the day I woke up, it was not me who saved her. She reached into the blackness where I was and my best friend pulled me back into my life again. I heard her voice getting closer and closer to me, or maybe I was getting closer and closer to her, as she clutched my hand. Her tone was so desperate and needy...it made me long to hold her and make everything right for her again.

"I have no one else I can lean on...not like you, Lucky. My husband tries so hard to help me but he can't break through all the walls I put up. Nikolas is home now and he's around but he's suffering so bad himself...worried about you and tormented by his time in prison. Liz has Cameron to take care of and she's wrecked over you too...Jason is crazed with worry about Micheal and Morgan and Kristina because they've been kidnaped...Mom and Dad are mourning AJ still...I have no one...I need you...you could make me feel like myself again...you could take away all this darkness in me, only you could do that, Lucky...please come back to me..."

She was right there, all I had to do was open my eyes and see her. She needed me...I could do anything for her and so that day I did what almost noone thought would never happen...I woke up.

"Oh my God, you're really awake..."

I tried to speak to her but my throat was like sandpaper. She leaned close to me, kissing my cheek and caressing my face, and said "Lucky, Lucky, Lucky...thank you for coming back."

All I could think was_ Thank you for bringing me back._ Those beautiful brown eyes of hers were filled with tears of joy over me...she loved me...I was her best friend and that was not a job I would have traded for all the money in the world.

Though I had just fought off death, I didn't feel like I had been the one suffering most. Emily had been through more, because of the rape and thinking I was going to die, and so all I wanted in that moment was to get well again and take care of her...I just hoped she would let me in.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Hours later on February 25, 2005**

She came back to my room really late that night after you and Dad and everyone else had come and gone...there she was in my doorway again, just looking at me like I was her own personal miracle.

Finally I was able to speak to her. "Get in here."

Emily came over to my bedside. "Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked, when at the same time I asked "How are you doing?"

I guess it was just natural to worry about each other more than ourselves.

"You first."

"No, you go first, Em."

"I'm glad you're awake. Things have been horrible for the last month...I was so worried about you and so was your Dad and Liz and Nik and Lulu...we all prayed so hard for this day to come, Lucky."

"Oh yeah? Was my Dad praying hard when he disconnected me from the machines? Yeah, I heard all about that. What was he thinking? A good Spencer should be able to breathe on their own or they don't deserve to live?"

"He made a choice...one he thought was best for you...I can't say I would do the same because I couldn't...I don't think I could be so strong as to risk letting you go."

She took my hand then.

"Good. Don't let me go, Em."

"No problem."

After a long moment I found myself pouring my heart out to her, something I couldn't do with anyone else cause I wanted to look strong for them.

"I just believed in him...I believed in my Dad so much...when we were teenagers he was the best man I thought had ever been born...then I lost my faith in him, you know, and it was hard to get it back. I don't know that I can get it back a second time."

"He loves you, Lucky. When he makes bad choices and when he makes good ones and when he messes everything up and when he saves the day...Luke loves you...I know its hard to see our heros as just flesh and blood humans...I know that cause you are my hero and I saw you bleeding...but the day we see our heros as men too...we get to love them a little more cause they are more precious...they can't always win or be right or be immortal...and that makes all the times that they are those things...that you did all that for me and he did all that for you...even more extraordinary."

Somehow she helped me to see that my Dad shouldn't be judged by superhero standards. He would always come up short when I did that. He might have made a choice that really shocked and hurt me when he disconnected me from the machines but he made that choice in love...and I could forgive him for only being a imperfect man, just like me, by remembering I loved him no matter how much he ever let me down...cause he hadn't been trying to do that...he had been trying to be my hero but even heros screw up sometimes.

Cause what if I didn't breathe on my own that day? What if he robbed me of the rest of my life? My life with you, my life watching Cameron grow up, my life as a brother, uncle, friend...my life with Emily.

That thought rocked me to my core.

I squeezed her hand tight then. "How did you get so smart?"

"I don't think I'm smart at all. I feel like I'm swimming underwater with no oxygen tank...no way to breath...just holding my breath as it gets darker and darker. A smart woman would know the way back to the surface but I don't."

"You don't have to find your way today. Its probably too soon. But you know I won't let you drown, don't you?"

She nodded, her eyes showing all her faith in me, and giving me strength to get out of that bed and back to my life. "I know that."

Maybe I would have woken up if Emily didn't come to my bedside everyday. Who can say? But she did. She came and she willed me back to life and talked me out of the darkness. I felt like I owed her my life after that...I felt alive because of her.

It didn't mean we would run off and be a couple. It was nothing like that, really. She had Zander. I was single but was I ever really single? Since I was sixteen I hadn't felt single, not in my heart. I felt attached and confused and all I knew was I had to hang onto to all the people I loved with both hands.

But if they all let go of me...I knew Emily wouldn't.


	49. part five, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Five**

**Note-**_ Emily never married Nikolas. She wed Zander in the hospital in 2003 and they stayed married, through ups and downs, until his death during the Black and White Ball in 2007, when Anthony Zacchara killed him, for no other reason than Anthony was insane._

_Lucky's life was just the same as shown on GH, except he was much closer to Emily during the four years from 2003-2007. They turned to each other exclusively in times of trouble and she took his side against Liz._

_Nikolas married Gia. As the story picks up in 2008, they are happy together, even though she had to forgive his affair with Courtney and raise the product of that affair, Spencer. The Black and White Ball was their second engagement party when they decided to remarry._

_Here is a transcript from Gh for the day in history that this chapter will cover:_

Sam: Please, Lucky, please, just hear me out. I know what I did was awful.

Lucky: Yeah, which time? What was more awful, do you think? Watching Jake being kidnapped, standing behind Elizabeth, never saying a word? Or hiring two guys with guns to scare Elizabeth and those boys in the park?

Sam: I was angry, I was hurt. I was angry at Jason and Elizabeth, I was desperate, Lucky.

Lucky: I thought you acted out by coming on to me. You're an adult! It inconceivable to me that you could be so selfish, so self-centered in risking an innocent little boy's life!

Sam: It wasn't like that. You don't understand --

Lucky: No, I think you need to understand this -- I will help Elizabeth and Jason do whatever it takes to make sure you never come near Jake again.

**Emily**

**Looking back on February 1, 2008**

On that day it was him knocking on the door of my apartment needing me to save him- a little twist in our story. Because through the years I had run to Lucky's waiting arms and his broad shoulders to cry on them more times than I could count but it was rare for Lucky to ever run to me.

Heros don't cry...at least, Luke might tell him that...but I never would. Lucky could cry with me anytime.

It thrilled me to be the one he needed most that night. Cause every time I was ever lost, he found me and put me back on track, and only once in a while could I do that for him in return.

Like the day he found out Maxie faked her pregnancy. The day Liz told him about Jake's paternity. The day he went into rehab. Three days I was his rock. But thousands of days he was mine.

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _

Late that night, I opened my door to see my best friend looking a wreck. Seeing Lucky that way always made my heart ache. He was too good a man to have his spirit broken. "Lucky."

"Em..."

I pulled him into a hug. Whatever it was, hugging him could only help. It reminded him I was here and not about to let him fall to pieces. And if he did fall apart, I'd put him together again cause he was the man I needed most in my life...and that had been true everyday during my marriage to Zander too.

Without Lucky, I would still be laying on the floor of the ballroom at Wyndermere, in my party dress, mourning my murdered husband. Lucky is the one who picked me up and carried me out of there, and he is the one who held my shaking body at the funeral, and he's the one who I called at 3 on days when I was lonely and sad. I had to be all that back for him...it made me feel essential to someone in the world, and only in his eyes, I knew then and I know now, am I truly vital to someone's survival.

Others say they could not go on without me. They could. Lucky could not. How do I know? Cause I couldn't go on without him either.

Into his ear, I asked "What happened?"

"Sam...she's not who I thought she was, not at all. Its over."

I pulled back, as my hand came up to cup his cheek. My voice was low, and later he told me it was almost scary how fierce I sounded, "_What _did she do to you?"

He said I sounded like I would kill her for hurting him. I'm no murderer but I do get pretty worked up over anybody messing with my best friend.

"Sam watched Jake get kidnaped out of the park. She could have stopped it but she didn't. Then she paid those thugs who threatened Liz and the boys. She did all that because she was angry at Jason...I thought she loved me but she didn't confess anything to me...Liz told me and Sam just confirmed it." He leaned closer to me, resting his forehead on mine. "I need you, Em. I feel like I'm losing it...how could I have let her around my kids?"

I took his hand and led him inside, taking a seat on my couch and pulling him down to sit next to me. "You know this is unbelievable sounding to me. How could she be so reckless? Why would she let Jake be stolen? He could have died! And those guys in the park had guns...guns aimed at Cameron!"

"She had to really be an emotional wreck at the time. Jason did a number on her. I know there's no excuse...I just thought we had something special."

"I will never trust her with your heart again."

His eyes widened slightly and a slow smile spread over his lips. "Well that decides it...I can't go back to her then."

"No, you can't. She isn't good enough for my best friend. Not if she will hurt our family this way...make you feel this way...I trusted her to be good to you! She promised me but she broke her promise and she broke your heart...I know Jason broke hers...but, you know what? That doesn't make it okay for her to damage anyone else...especially not you and not your boys." I took his hand in mind and said "I know you think you lost something tonight...but Sam just was not the woman to share your life. If you ever feel yourself even so much as thinking about taking her back...you come and find me and I will tell you all the reasons why you should be with a woman you can truly trust, who you can make your wife and a stepmother to your boys and know she will always stand by you and bring you joy and one_ I know _will never hurt you."

"Where are we gonna find someone like that? The internet?" he joked.

And that's when I knew he was all right after all.

Maybe I had patched him back up. Maybe he would have been able to do that without me. But that's the thing. He never has to be without me. I wouldn't want it that way. He's a fantastic best friend...and really the best man I've ever known, sometimes I felt bad thinking that when Zander was alive, but it never made it any less true.

I chuckled. "She'll come along. And until she does, Lucky, you have me. You were there for me when I lost Zander and now I'll be there for you."

"Maybe _you_ are all I need, Emily."

Man, did my heart race hearing those words. I never expected them or to feel so much when he said them. I had been loving him for so long by that time but never calling it being _in love_...though he meant more to be than my husband had. Still, I will not lie, it sent shivers through me when Lucky looked at me in that moment, his light eyes locked on my darker ones, my best friend saying I was all he needed in the world. Talk about feeling high. He's my best high ever and, because I am an addict, I know what I am talking about when I say that.

Damn, how could I not fall in love with him after he said that? I was all he needed. Maybe I had been falling all along since we were teenagers, I can't say for sure, but I fell deeper that day, I can tell you that much for sure. Much deeper.

I was glad Sam was out of the picture.

My shattered heart wouldn't have been able to love anyone else, just a few months after losing Zander, but Lucky was not anyone else...he was the boy who became a man right before my eyes and the one who made me feel safe enough to do anything.


	50. part six, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Six**

**Lucky**

**Looking back on February 1, 2008**

All I knew was I needed to see Emily. After I kicked Sam out of my house, I couldn't stay there, looking at the place where things fell apart in my marriage, where Sam made me think I was getting a second chance with her but instead it was where she stood before me and admitted she had done very selfish and destructive things to my kids.

I had wanted to love Sam...maybe I did love her, a little. I was so close, I thought, to moving past all the pain that the year before brought. But now I can see I was just drowning in a new kind of drug during that time. The recklessness of kissing Sam, a woman who was pure walking danger. But I couldn't hate her, not even after I heard the truth. I just felt like I had been kicked in the teeth. Like a wounded dog.

I needed my best friend.

When I went to her, she took me in her arms and hugged me tight. The pain started to dissipate, dissolving into her loving arms. I confessed that I was through with Sam and you should have heard Emily's tone when she asked "_What _did she do to you?"

That girl was raring for a fight, and she's not one of those kick ass and take names types, usually. She's graceful. She's kind. She's got a heart of gold. But get her mad...and watch out, boy.

I confessed the whole sordid story to Emily. She pulled me over to the couch and, still holding my hand, we sat down next to each other. I could hear in her tone how upset she was and that Sam had shocked her with her behavior too. Neither of us thought Sam was capable of that...and most of all it hurt to think how the boys could have been harmed because of her.

You know those boys mean the world to me. My sons. My babies. I trusted Sam with my babies! I felt like a piece of shit father in that moment, for sure. But Emily would never let me feel bad for long.

Emily told me, in a dead serious tone that said Sam was as good as dead to her, "I will never trust her with your heart again."

I had to smile at that one. Not that she hated Sam. Cause I didn't hate her. I was severely disappointed and bitter and hurt. But I smiled cause Em was so protective of my heart.

No one that could damage it would be allowed close to it by her. She planned to be a gaurd dog over my love life, and that idea just cheered me up somehow.

"Well that decides it," I said "I can't go back to her then."

Emily started to tell me all the reasons I shouldn't even think about doing that, while I focused on how heartfelt her plea was, and how bright with love her eyes shone. Everything she felt for me was so pure. I knew I was damn lucky to have this woman in my corner.

She ended her speech with "If you ever feel yourself even so much as thinking about taking her back...you come and find me and I will tell you all the reasons why you should be with a woman you can truly trust, who you can make your wife and a stepmother to your boys and know she will always stand by you and bring you joy and one_ I know _will never hurt you."

"Where are we gonna find someone like that? The internet?"

Emily laughed at me but then said, in a more serious and soft tone, "She'll come along. And until she does, Lucky, you have me. You were there for me when I lost Zander and now I'll be there for you."

"Maybe _you_ are all I need, Emily."

Softly she asked, "You think so?"

I took her hand and kissed it. "I do think so. You're my best friend and I love you...thank you for talking me down tonight."

"When it comes to me and you, Lucky,...whenever, wherever, whatever... you need me and I will be there...and don't you ever forget it."

"If I got amnesia and I forgot everything else...I wouldn't forget that...I wouldn't forget you."

(_And if there's a thing that you need  
for you and your blood_

_I will bleed_

_  
If ever you yearn for the love in me  
whenever, wherever, whatever  
baby  
whenever, wherever, whatever_

_  
And if there's a thing that you need  
I give you the rest_

_  
If ever you yearn for the love in me  
wheneverwherever  
whatever  
whenever, whatever, wherever_) (Maxwell)

She kissed my cheek then and hugged me tight for a long time, then whispered in my ear "Sam might need a hero but she can't have you...cause you're mine."

I pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Guess what, Em? I got a secret to tell you."

Her eyes danced with amusement at my light tone. "Oh yeah? What is it?"

"You're my hero right back."

She smiled. And doesn't she have the best smile ever? She does. That smile has been brightening my world for years. I know I will die thinking about that smile.

"It works out well then, Lucky. You and me in the personal hero business together."

"You know this has all worked out pretty good for me...having a girl as a best friend. I'm gonna have to teach Cam and Jake to do the same."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, on a night like this, when all the world goes to hell...I could be sitting in a bar with Cruz or Nikolas...but I would rather be sitting here staring into your pair of gorgeous brown eyes-"

"They are not!"

"Hey! Don't put down my best friend."

"Sorry."

"I'd rather be with the prettiest woman in town than with any guy who could have been my closest friend instead. I need Cruz and Nikolas too...but no one takes your place."

"You better not let anyone take my place. I'm stuck in this spot next to you and I am not budging for nothing."

"Good."

Was I miserable that night?

Before I went to Emily's place, I was so low my belly was scraping the sidewalk. But she picked me right back up. She made life seem worth being excited about again and it never took more than a few words from her to do that.

She was very easy to love...way too easy. That's way I got so jealous when she kissed Nikolas twice before...cause I was right there and she could have kissed me instead. But life was complicated and our hearts were ping ponging all over the place in our younger years. I wasn't in love with her back when she wanted Nikolas, not in any way I could have explained aloud.

On that night, though, when I went to her after breaking up with Sam, it started to feel like maybe we needed to stop bouncing around and just hold onto each other.

Her heart was broke over Zander dying. Mine was in billions of tiny little shards too. I didn't want any scummy guy coming along and taking advantage of Emily and she didn't want me with the wrong woman. So it made sense to be together...to make sure we weren't hurt again, if for no other reason.

Okay, those were excuses. You want to hear the truth? You sure...okay...

I wanted Emily...cause she was Emily...and because I loved my best friend...and I wanted her to be in love with me and I wanted to make love to her...those thoughts had been in the back of my mind for years and years and years...and then they came to the front of my mind.

Coming up: The Haunted Star reopening.


	51. part seven, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Seven**

**Emily**

**Looking back on** **April 17, 2008**

There are so many days I could tell you about...days that made me love Lucky and days that made me realize how much I needed Lucky...but one of my favorite days with him, since our trip to Arizona as kids, happened not that far back.

It was when Luke had the reopening of the Haunted Star earlier this year. I ended up being his date because Lulu convinced us we both needed to be there to keep Luke out of trouble. I hadn't been on a date since Zander and I were split up for a while years and years ago...back when Cameron was conceived. During that time, I went out a few times with Steven Webber. Anyway, there were no sparks with him, as sweet as he is, but with Lucky on that night in April...there were sparks, on my part at least.

It felt like he brought me to life again... made me someone who wanted to be kissed and touched and made love to...for the first time since Zander died.

I decided to pick him up and drive us there, which kinda bothered him since he thought, as the guy, he should be doing those honors. I just laughed when he told me that. He's really old fashioned, you know? In the best way though...he's one of those good men you hear about but they are as scarce to see as Big Foot. Lucky...he's the best man I'll ever know...there's no doubt about that.

Anyway, back to our night. I'm not sure I can explain how magical the whole thing was...the way the stars were out and the way the air smelled sweeter and the moments all lingered...have you ever had a night like that? What am I saying? You've probably had a million. Well I've had one. And it was with Lucky.

I knocked on his door and when he opened it...I swear I lost my breath. He looked amazing in this suit he had on...but it was more than that...I had seen him in suits and looking hot lots of times before...but this night he was _my date_. It just made it different. It made it special for me. Butterflies danced through me all night, never letting up, especially when he smiled at me like he did when I stood on the porch right after he opened the door.

He made a gesture for me to spin around and show off my dress for him, so I did, while kinda giggling and blushing...I probably looked like a love struck school girl. "You like?"

"Absolutely gorgeous, Em."

Our eyes met again and I told him, softly, "Yeah, you too...so are you ready? Do we need to drop the kids off at Audrey's house or anything first?"

"Already done. I'm all yours from this moment on tonight."

He locked up the house and then wrapped her arm around my waist, leaned close to my ear, and whispered "Lets go have a night to remember."

And it really was...it really was. We gambled and we laughed and we drank champagne. He sorta made nice with Jason for me and I made nice with Sam for him...though I still could have really turned her into the cops or at least smacked her for what she did...of course I didn't do either of those things. I just told her off once, months before, and then put her out of my mind for good. But Lucky was still nicer to her than I thought he should be. Its something I love about him...his forgiving heart.

Anyway, the romantic part came later. Nikolas and Gia drove their yatch to the party and parked it at the dock next to the Haunted Star. So around twenty to midnight, Lucky convinces Nikolas to let us take out the yatch and him and Gia took a cab to the launch to go back to Spoon Island. You know how Lucky can talk his brother into anything. I wondered why Nik and Gia didn't come with us but truth be told...I wanted to be alone with Lucky anyway.

Over the three months since he broke up with Sam, we had been spending even more time together than usual. It wasn't anything close to dating cause we never kissed but suddenly he had more free evenings and so did I and we spent them all together. I started to dread the idea of him finding a new girlfriend and her taking him away from me. I hadn't been ready to really date anyone though until the night of the reopening.

And, of course, how could I know if Lucky wanted me? He loved Liz every day since they started dating, even when they were broken up, and maybe he will just always love Liz...maybe.

But that night he was not hers, he was mine.

He had learned how to drive the yatch from Nikolas. I knew how because Grandfather has more than one...not saying he lets me take them out alone or anything, but over the years I've steered while out with Ned and Dillon. Anyway, Lucky and I made our way a few miles into the harbor and dropped anchor.

We went out onto the deck and looked at the stars together. I shivered in the cool lake breeze and he put his coat around my shoulders, then wrapped his arms around my waist to share his body heat with me. I leaned back against him.

Looking up, I said "The sky is so beautiful tonight. It feels peaceful out here ..like nothing in the real world matters and no one can hurt us."

"Nothing does matter, Em, not right now...just me and you...just that you have a good time tonight. And no one will ever hurt you again, if I have anything to say about it."

"You're too good to me. I totally kept you from having a real date tonight."

"With who? Who is this mystery woman I was supposed to have a _real_ date with? Cause I can't think of anyone who would be a better date than you."

"Oh, I don't know...there's lots of woman around that would kill to be with you."

Lucky moved out from behind me and sat down on a bench along the aft of the boat, he pulled me onto his lap. "Yeah, well it just might kill me to be with another woman who lies to me."

"I know Sam hurt you terribly. Do you think...do you think you're ready to try and love again?"

"It all depends on who I am trying to love."

I could have stared into his eyes forever in that moment. It felt like my big chance to yell...okay, to at least whisper, _Love me. _

Did I say that? No. Maybe I should have. I won't second guess that now though. Instead I stood up and held up my hand to him. "Whoever you love...she better treat you as good as I would. Nothing less for my best friend. Now, dance with me, Lucky...cause right now you're still my date, thanks to your sister."

He took my hand. But we just stood there and didn't start dancing.

I smiled. "Sometimes Lulu is as wild and reckless as your Dad."

"Or Carly!"

I laughed. "But sometimes she is as sweet as your Mom. She really had good intentions tonight, having all of us there to support Luke and make sure he wasn't in too deep with the Zaccharas and that he didn't drink or smoke or be his normal wild man self."

"He thinks life is barely worth living if he is not that."

"I'm glad you aren't like that."

"Really? Most people seem to think I'm quite the disappointment. The pathetic apple fallen from the Spencer Family Tree. They look at me and think_ Where did his reckless ways go?"_

"You became a Daddy. Those boys need stability. And I need stability. And Lulu needs it too. You grew up for _us_. Your Dad stays a kid for _him._"

"Wasn't I a lot more fun back when I didn't care if I broke the law...or at least back when I didn't crave pills half the day?"

"I don't know where you get this idea you aren't good enough the way you are. But what I see...is a damn near perfect man."

He chuckled. "Really? Where?" He looked all around.

I pointed at him. "And if any woman comes along and tells you different well then we don't need her around. And if you think different you are spoiling for a fight with me, buddy, cause no one puts down my best friend and gets away with it."

He picked me up and spun me around. "You're something else, Em."

When he set me down, I was close to his body. "Oh yeah? What else?"

Who knows what I was hoping he would say? _The one I want...the one that makes me happiest...the one I should pick.._..but he didn't say any of that. Instead he kissed my cheek. I brought my hand up to caress his jaw and eased my mouth over until we were lip to lip.

Okay, I know it wasn't like he gave me any sign he wanted to kiss me...but I wanted to kiss him, so I did.

He was my Lucky, in that moment, all mine. And it felt like he would soon go out and find someone new to date and love and be with every night. So I took one little chance...like I did all those years ago with Nikolas...and I kissed him first, trying to make him mine and no one else's in this world.


	52. part eight, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Eight**

**Lucky**

**Looking back on** **April 17, 2008**

I know what you are thinking. I broke up with Sam so I must have fallen right into bed with Emily...cause I'm like that right? I use the first woman I can find to drown out the voices in my head and my pain. But I didn't.

I would never use Emily that way.

We didn't even kiss until the night of the Haunted Star reopening. She kissed me and I pulled away. Cause...I knew she was still hurting over Zander. I knew she loved him for so many years. I wasn't sure why she kissed me...was it friendship or love or a rebound?

It all felt so crazy that night. So romantic and perfect and I didn't want to break the mood and say _Why did you do that?_

So instead I stroked the hair out of her face and whispered "I thought you said something about wanting to dance with me."

She smiled...so maybe it was the right thing to do? I just thought we had tomorrow to figure it all out. I should have known better I guess.

Somewhere in those three months after I broke up with Sam and that night...I had really fallen hard for Emily. I wanted to see what we could have. I thought we could have everything.

I wanted to give her a night full of fantastic memories so I told her to wait on deck and went downstairs to find the music system and put on a CD. Maybe I wanted the song to speak for me. The one I picked certainly should have tipped her off about how I was feeling...I don't know why I played games like that...okay, it wasn't easy to look at this woman I have known for more than half my life and say _All my feelings have grown to a point where...I want more than friendship. I want to be the man you are in love with_.

Because what if I scared Em off? She needed me...to help her get over Zander and to be there for her and to not take advantage of her grief to make a play to get her into bed.

I thought I had time to show her my love.

When I came back upstairs she looked like an angel in the moonlight...remember the white dress she wore that night? I took her in my arms and hummed along to the music, with my mouth pressed close to her ear.

(_Have I told you lately that I love you?_

_  
Have I told you there's no one else above you?_

_  
Fill my heart with gladness  
Take away all my sadness  
Ease my troubles that's what you do_

For the morning sun in all its glory  
Greets the day with hope and comfort too

_  
You fill my life with laughter  
and somehow you make it better_

_  
Ease my troubles that's what you do_

_  
There's a love that's divine  
and its yours and its mine_

_like the sun_

_  
And at the end of the day  
We should give thanks and pray  
to the one,_

_to the one_

Have I told you lately that I love you?

_  
Have I told you there's no one else above you?_

_  
Fill my heart with gladness  
Take away all my sadness  
Ease my troubles_

_that's what you do_

There's a love that's divine  
And its yours and its mine

_like the sun_

_  
And at the end of the day  
We should give thanks and pray  
to the one, _

_to the one_

And have I told you lately that I love you?

_  
Have I told you there's no one else above you?_

_  
You fill my heart with gladness  
take away my sadness  
Ease my troubles_

_that's what you do_

_  
Take away all my sadness  
Fill my life with gladness  
Ease my troubles_

_that's what you do_

_  
Take away all my sadness  
Fill my life with gladness  
Ease my troubles_

_that's what you do_) ( Rod Stewart)

The song ended and I looked into her eyes. "Thanks for the dance, Em. I can't remember the last time we danced."

"At your wedding to Liz."

"Oh, right...well did I trip over my own two feet that time?"

"You never do, Lucky."

"No? You sure? Not even when I'm nervous?"

"When are you ever nervous? You're cool under pressure."

"Sometimes I get nervous, Em. Sometimes I don't know the right words to say at all."

"Really? Cause you are always the one saying just the right thing to me to stop me from feeling lost."

"And I thought it was _you _doing that for me."

She smiled, that really big smile of hers that she gets when she so happy it looks like it is spilling out of her soul, and said "Look at us and our mutual admiration society."

I had to laugh at that but then I got serious and asked her "Am I doing the right thing for you now? I know the last few months had been hard ones...you still are trying to recover from losing your husband."

"I will carry Zander with me every day for the rest of my life but my life isn't over. You showed me that...always coming around with your bad kung fu movies that are dubbed horribly to make me crack up, and bringing the boys to my apartment so there's laughter and joy there and not just ghosts and pain, and taking me out for dinners and ice cream...you've been great to me. I would never have survived this without you, Lucky, and I...can't imagine losing you from my life."

"You couldn't so don't worry about that."

I hugged her then, taking care of her, doing my best for her...even though I wanted more...I wanted to kiss her again.

Then my cell rang. Cameron had been taken to the hospital because his appendix burst. We almost lost him. We sat by his bed side for weeks that spring, as he slowly recovered. Though Emily was there holding my hand, there was no time to think about kissing or dating or anything. That seemed like a foreign language in that moment. All that mattered was Cam.

And his being sick seemed to change everything.

XXXXXXXXX

**Looking back to May 10, 2008**

That month when Cam was sick was pure hell. He got that infection and had to have the second surgery. There were days when I thought I was losing my little boy. I know I was a complete wreck

I wasn't thinking straight at all. I sat at his beside all those nights during that time...and we all just prayed and hung on...until he was finally well again.

I swear I wasn't home an hour when Lulu came over, smiling and carrying all these burnt cookies for the boys. I totally cracked up at that. She tries...you know? Even if her efforts rarely work out right. Everyone says she is like Carly most...and maybe she is cause that's a Carly like trait. To mess up what you are trying hard to do right.

She came to cheer me up that day and offer her support but then, in the middle of our conversation, she said "I'm trying to convince Emily to go on this blind date. We have to get her out again. Liz agrees and so does Nikolas. Everyone says its time."

"Its only been six months!"

"Whoa. Calm down. I've not trying to marry her off just get her feet wet. So we made a list of possible guys that she could have her first date with."

"I took her on a date last month, Lu."

"That was just you though...her friend...I'm talking a real, real date, Lucky."

"Does Emily want to do this?"

"She needs to do this. She's always been so good to all of us...I hate that she's lonely and sad. So do you want to hear the list of choices? I thought you might help us to narrow it down to someone that would fit best with Emily. You should know...if anyone, right?"

Yeah, I should know. I really should have stopped her right there but what claim did I have on Emily? I hadn't even brought up our kiss since it happened...I was just waiting for the right time to maybe kiss her again and see if she was ready yet...if I was who she wanted...if there was a chance.

Lulu named a bunch of guys. "There's this doctor at the hospital who is HOT and single. Leo Julian. I bet he's already noticed Em too. Cause she's so pretty and all. Then there's David Harper and there's Cruz, of course."

"Cruz? My partner?"

"Yeah, I figured you could talk to him for us."

"Leave me out of this."

"Don't you want Emily happy? You know I have a guy best friend, Lucky, and I know all about these things. You can't keep them locked away for yourself just because it feels good to have all of their attention. I did that for too long...its really selfish and I know my big brother is not a selfish person."

Nothing like a little sister to turn the guilt screws on you. She saw me as a stand up guy who would never sabotage Emily's chances at happiness. I hate to tell Lulu, but she just don't know me that well if she thinks I really wanted Emily diving into the dating pool again with anyone but me... of course I would support whatever Emily wanted though, no matter what that was.

I just didn't have to like it, that's all.

XXXXXXXXXXX

So that night I called her to ask her what she thought of this whole scheme of Lulu's. She answered the phone speaking really softly "Hey Lucky, how's Cameron?"

"Good. He's in his own bed finally. Sound asleep."

"Good."

"Why are you whispering?"

"I'm on a blind date. He's in the bathroom right now...I'm at home. I drove us to dinner and we came back here for a drink. I love driving on a date, you know. It throws guy's off their game a little bit."

"You agreed to go out with one of Lulu's choices for you?"

"You heard about that huh? No I didn't agree. Your sneaky little sister sent him to my door tonight. I was dressed in scrubs when he showed up!"

"Who is it?"

"I got to go. He's coming out."

"Emily...who is it? Emily!"

_Click._

Well, you know as well as I do, who it was. She went on six dates with Dr. Leo over the next seven weeks. And for a while there it looked like all my chances of ever dating my best friend were going up in a cloud of smoke.

**Coming up: July 4th**


	53. part nine, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Nine**

**Emily**

**Looking back on July 4****th**

We took Cam and Jake to the annual Independence Day Carnival in the park this year, along with Liz, Nikolas, Gia and Spencer. The kids were too tired to stay for fireworks so Nikolas and Gia went home to Wyndermere while Liz took the boys back to her place.

That left Lucky and me laying on a blanket waiting for the show to start. It was right where I wanted to be...alone with my best friend. My feelings for him only grew each day instead of lessening.

I know. I know. So if that is true then why did I date Leo for nearly two months? I sort of fell into dating him for one thing, not like I went out looking for that, and all our dates were really casual, too. But the reason they happened at all is because of what I saw between Liz and Lucky when Cameron was sick.

They got close again. I was the outsider watching them hug and hold hands and worry about their child, as they had every right to do. They are his parents. I'm just his Aunt and just Lucky's friend...not the woman he married twice who he would probably go back to in a second.

And then Liz told me that things hadn't worked out with her and Jason...big surprise there, right? I want my brother happy but everything him and Liz did was the wrong way. Sneaking around, cheating, lying...breaking Lucky's heart. It got me so worked up. I hadn't been that mad at Jason ever before in my life. Liz was even worse...cause she made promises to Lucky that she broke. I know he broke his vows too, with Maxie, but that did not give her the free pass she seems to think it did.

But that's the past. I'm not gonna go into those nasty little details with you. We all put it behind us...we had to...there are kids involved. And Lucky has forgiven Liz, of course. Was there any doubt he would?

So they got extremely close when Cam was sick and Liz even told me one day _It would be great for the boys if we all lived together again. _

And it would be. It would be great for my nephews. Though you know that I'm not biologically their Aunt, it's the role I've always played for them and also their god mother. I love them more than words can say. I won't get in the way of their family coming together again.

That was my thinking when I dated Leo but it still didn't work out. That night in the park, before the fireworks started, Lucky brought Leo up. We were both laying on our back on the blanket, looking up at the stars. "The good doctor working tonight?"

"Yeah, the night shift."

"Too bad."

"You don't really sound upset. You didn't even try to get to know him when I was dating him."

"_Was_ dating him? You're not anymore?" Lucky propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at me.

I could have sworn I saw real happiness in his eyes at the idea that I wasn't with Leo anymore. But I could have imagined that. You know I got one hell of an imagination...me and my fairytales that I always expect to come true.

"I ended it with him last week."

"That's a shame."

"Say that without a smile and I might believe you, Lucky. What do you have against him anyway?"

"Not a thing. But I thought it was a little soon for you to be dating."

"Liz doesn't. Either does Lulu or Nikolas or Dillon or Gia or..."

"Okay, okay. I get it. Six months though..."

"They just wanted to see me involved in life again. Dating is a part of life for single people and I have to face I'm now single and Zander will never be back. Even though we were having problems when he died... I never expected to be dating someone new this summer."

"Do you think it was too soon?"

"Probably. But it wasn't serious anyway."

"Still he was the first guy you were with after Zander so you must have had some feelings for him to be able to take that leap. He didn't hurt you, did he? Cause I'll go see that guy tonight, if he did."

"He didn't do anything wrong. I just wasn't feeling him. We went to art gallery openings and plays and concerts but I would have rather been watching pee wee baseball games for Cam and Morgan's team with you. So I finally said hell with it. There is only so long he was gonna put up with me not taking it anywhere anyway."

"So you two didn't then..."

"Are you asking me flat out if I slept with Leo?"

Lucky laid back down, looking up at the stars. "No. I wouldn't get in your business like that."

"Cause I didn't sleep with him."

I really don't know why I felt like I had to explain myself to him cause he was probably back in bed with Liz already by that point. And there was really no evidence that my one little kiss on that yatch had made him see me as a woman...not a buddy.

But still I made it clear that Leo hadn't been my lover and I wasn't going to ever be with him...just in case it mattered at all to Lucky.

The fireworks started and he held my hand. It was a really sweet night for us. Liz wasn't anywhere around and I could pretend...Lucky really belonged to me.

(_See the pyramids along the Nile  
Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle  
Just remember darling all the while  
You belong to me_

See the market place in Old Algiers  
Send me photographs and souvenirs  
Just remember when a dream appears  
You belong to me

I'll be so alone without you  
Maybe you'll be lonesome too, and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane  
See the jungle when it's wet with rain  
Just remember 'til you're home again  
You belong to me

I'm gonna be so alone without you  
And I'm hoping maybe you'll be lonesome, too, and blue

Fly that ocean in a silver plane  
See the jungle when it's wet with rain  
Just remember til you're home again  
You belong to me) ( Patsy Cline version)

Lucky is mine, in a way. He is my best friend and that means the world to me. But somehow I have fallen madly in love with him too and I want more than that...but not if he is going back to Liz ever again. I can't be a pit stop on his road back to her. I won't.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Lucky walked me to my door that night and I just had to ask him what was going on with him and his ex.

I heard it all day at work from her...they went here with the boys and there and they were so happy. I saw it with my own eyes plenty of times...and Lucky mentioned pizza parties this day, and water parks that day, the circus, the zoo. That was all fine. I wanted to know if all that family time made Lucky and Liz think about remarrying. Cause for all I know they were already making love again...but Liz hadn't said that...still in the two years before I learned she was good at keeping secrets.

Don't get me wrong. Liz is and always will be my friend. So I needed to know if my friend had her dream guy back now or...was there even half a chance left he could end up mine?

"So..." I started as I unlocked the door and we walked inside "you know Liz said something to me a few weeks back...and I never asked you about it cause things have been so crazy for the last few months...but she said it would be wonderful for the boys if you all lived together again. And I was thinking...that would be wonderful for them. Don't you think so?"

"Sure. Cam and Jake would think it was wonderful."

I tossed my purse down on the couch and kicked out of my sandals. Trying to sound casual, I asked "Any chance of that happening?"

"I don't see it happening." He walked over to me and took both my hands. "Em...are you trying to play matchmaker for me and Liz? I thought you gave that up years ago."

"I'd do anything to see you happy."

"I'd do the same for you, Em."

"I know. You've always been right by my side...you've been the best part of my life, Lucky."

His eyes took on a lighter shade, as unshed tears came into them. "You don't have to say that. I know how important Zander was to you."

"Yes, I loved him...I'm not saying I didn't...but we were far from the perfect couple with the break-ups and everything. Still I will always be glad I had those years I had with him but...long before I knew Zander you were here making me smile and wiping away my tears and running away with me and coming to rescue me...and now that Zander is gone, you are still here. I sometimes wonder if I take up too much of your time...cause you never complain about all the hours you spend just cheering me up."

"I'm right where I want to be."

"Remember when you said maybe I am all you need? I know it was a while back now...that night you broke up with Sam. You said maybe I am all you need, as far as a woman in your life, and I know you didn't really expect me to take that serious but...I just want you to know I will work hard to be all you need because you are all I need already."

And then he leaned toward me and I closed my eyes and...


	54. part ten, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Ten**

**Lucky **

**Looking back on July 4****th**

I really thought that she was going to date Leo for a long time. Hell, fall in love with Leo. Marry Leo. Have ten Leo babies. Make me be her best person at the wedding and the god father of all their kids.

I started to just resign myself to us being best friends and nothing more. There was no way I would mess with her happiness. No way ...not ever.

So when she said she was done with Leo and, bonus, she had never even slept with the dude well...it was like my heart started hoping again. I couldn't help it. I never planned for all this to happen.

I fell in love with her so slowly, just inch by inch over the years...a little bit by the campfire in Arizona, a little bit on the day she came home from Stanford and threw herself in my arms like she missed me so desperately...a little here and there...and now I am just in love with her to the bottom of my soul.

And its not the kind I can fall out of. Its not the kind I can walk away from. So when we went back to her apartment and she started talking about how I was the best part of her life...well I couldn't hold back a second longer.

Right after she said "Remember when you said maybe I am all you need. I know it was a while back now...that night you broke up with Sam. You said maybe I am all you need, as far as a woman in your life, and I know you didn't really expect me to take that serious but...I just want you to know I will work hard to be all you need because you are all I need already."

(_I know you by heart.  
You're so much a part of me._

_  
I know you by heart.  
Can't you see?_

_It's no wonder I can love you  
the way that I do._

_  
I can finish any sentence you start.  
Woah, I know you, _

_I know you by heart. _) ( Bette Midler)

Her sweet and tender words, they meant so much to me, and maybe she didn't want more than friendship but I remembered how she kissed me on the yatch...so maybe she did...and all I knew was I had to kiss her in that moment. So I leaned forward and brought my lips to hers.

The kiss was really gentle and I pulled away first. Her eyes stayed closed a few more moments. She had this smile on her face. Adorable, really. It made me smile right back and then her eyes popped open and she asked, softly, "What was that for?"

"A little friendly kiss?"

"Well I guess there is nothing wrong with that," she said in this happy little tone that really made me think there were still lots of chances left for us.

I swear in that minute it seemed something clicked and we had just stumbled into our time to really...be something...it wasn't what anyone...last of all me...saw coming last year but this isn't last year, okay?

I should have told her right then _Hey, you ever want a date? Call me._

(_I know every time you wanna call,  
I pick up the phone before it can ring.  
_

_And when you need some loving, _

_I'll be there beside you, _

_anticipating everything._

Oh, it's like I always said . . .  
You're the one I want.  
And all I want is you.  


_I'm inside your head.  
I know you by heart.  
You're so much a part of me._

_I know you by heart.  
Can't you see?_

It's no wonder I can love you  
the way that I do.  
I can finish any sentence you start.  
Hey, woah, I know you by heart.

_I know you by heart_.)

While smiling at Em, I told her "I don't know how I got so blessed to have you...this smart, funny, soon- to- be doctor want to be best friends with a former addict, nearly kicked off the force cop...I guess I was just lucky enough to snag you early...but I want you to know that there's no doubt about it in my mind...you are all I need."

Before she could even answer, my cell phone. "Hello? Liz...hey...what? Okay...okay...yeah...I'm on my way...We'll talk when I get there." I ran my hand through my hair, shocked.

"What's the matter? Is it the boys?"

I just stared at her for a moment. Not even believing that we had gotten to this moment where I was about to tell her she had my heart, if she wanted it, but now I couldn't.

"Lucky...talk to me. You're scaring me."

"Sorry. Sorry...uh...Cam has been having these nightmares ever since he came home from the hospital so I spend a lot more time over there these days. He always cries so hard if I have to leave while he is awake still...so he just woke up from a nightmare and Liz told him she would call his Daddy and have him come over...and Cam said _Come home...make Daddy come home forever_...and Liz said..."

Emily asked in this really soft voice, like she knew already what was coming, "What did Liz say?"

"She said _I'll ask your Daddy to come home forever_."

Just thinking about Cam crying across town made my heart ache so there wasn't a lot of time to talk to Emily about it. I grabbed my keys and said "I'm so sorry to cut out on you like this. I'll call you...will you wait up for my call?"

"Its okay. You don't have to. You have a family, Lucky. Go be with your family."

I just stared at her for a long moment but she wasn't teary or sad or broken over it. So who knows? Who knows? Maybe I was in it all alone...all I knew was I had to get to my son...but it was nearly killing me to walk out on my best friend.

I kissed her cheek and said "Talk to you tomorrow then."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Maybe I am making something out of nothing. A few kisses and a lot of dreams in my head. That's the romance of me and Emily Quartermaine ...but the story of us, that's something else entirely. Its long summer walks in rain, and snow ball fights, and the four musketeer's and hugs that are so tight that I could never break when she's holding me... cause she holds me together. Its letters from her when I was in the rehab center saying _You are my hero no matter what _and its me holding her hand when she was fighting cancer and drying her tears when other guy's broke her heart.

Its never been about sex...but it has been about this deep devotion I have for this woman, this best friend of mine...and I don't think...no, I know...I can not give her up...even if that means I have to tell my son..._Daddy is not coming home forever_.

So my heart broke on July 4th. It broke because of what I decided to tell my son as I drove across town to soothe away his fears from his nightmare.

Don't tell me I am choosing Emily over Cameron and Jake. Cause its not like that and you know it. Its not...its not... tell me you understand...tell me you love me enough to understand.


	55. part eleven, lucky and emily

**Note- the story is now told in present tense, because it is present day events unfolding, not their history.**

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Emily**

**July 5th, 2008**

"So that brings the story of Lucky and me right up until this moment, Laura," I tell his mom as I visit her at Shady Brooke. "That's the whole tale of how I fell in love with your boy, while not even knowing for most of those years that I was falling in love with him, and why I can never tell him how I feel. But I wanted to tell you...I needed to...so you could see that someone is loving your son with all their heart...and I hope you think I'm doing a good job. I will always help him and I will never hurt him...no matter if that means hurting myself or losing my own dream so he can have his...I really wish you could tell me if I did right by him and if I am still doing right by keeping my mouth shut...I think I am. The family he made with Liz is really where Lucky's heart has always laid so I can't screw that up for him."

I pat her hand. "It's gonna have to stay your and my secret that I am in love with him...he's the love of my life, Laura,...and I'm not sad about that. I wouldn't pick anyone else, even though I can't be with him. I'd pick Lucky anyway. Because I don't know how to run from him...I only know how to run towards him."

Standing up, I kiss her cheek and say "I'll be back to visit again next week."

As I drive away, I realize it felt good to get that all out. I needed to tell someone...to make it truly real and not just feelings swirling around my head and heart. Usually Lucky is the only one that can do that for me but today his mom did.

I'm supposed to take Cam and Jake to the park this afternoon so I head to Elizabeth's house. But when I am on her porch, I look in the window and see Lucky sitting there with her. They are having an emotional conversation from the looks of it.

I silently tell Liz, _You better treat him right this time, _then my eyes focus on Lucky. He gets more and more handsome everyday, and sweeter and more loving and better. How he pulls it off I don't know. I used to look for my magic in Nikolas and his castle but the real magic in my life has always been Lucky.

I have liked him, loved him, and now I am in love with him too. I've felt it all for this man. Though it breaks my heart to know I will never make love to him...it is a good hurt...the kind born of sacrifice and commitment and unconditional devotion. I can bear this pain for him. He's worth anything and everything.

I will not ask myself _What if he fell for me and not Liz at sixteen? What if I never wanted Nikolas? What if I never married Zander? What if Lucky had turned to me instead of Sam when Liz hurt him_? I will not ask any of that because it will only twist my heart up more than it already is. I would not change a thing that happened. It was a beautiful story, up to this day, the one of me and him...a story I have loved living and will always treasure. The story of us.

He turns and looks out the window, spotting me on the porch, and our eyes meet. I give him a little wave and plant a smile on my lips. I am happy for this man I love...because he is getting his dream come true...even if its not me.

(_If I had known the way that this would end  
If I had read the last page first  
If I had the strength to walk away  
If I'd known how this would hurt_

I would've loved you anyway

_  
I'd do it all the same  
Not a second I would change  
Not a touch that I would trade_

_  
Had I known my heart would break  
I'd' have loved you anyway_) ( Trisha Yearwood)

Lucky comes over and opens the door. I can see Liz on the couch behind him with tears in her eyes. He says softly "Em."

"Lucky."

"Come on in. Come on...we were just talking about you."

"About me? Good things I hope. Trying to figure out a way to get me on Dr. Ford's good side so I can get off the night shift finally?"

Liz gives me a weak smile. "You and me both."

The tension in the room is so thick it would take a chainsaw to cut through it. But I should know from my own marriage with Zander that putting a relationship back together after hitting a rough spot is never an easy thing to do. I just have to keep my faith that they will work it out. Its want they both want...and I want Lucky happy, his boys happy, his family whole.

_We could have our own little family together_, goes through my mind, _His boys and maybe a daughter of our own. A little sister for Cam and Jake...a little angel they would adore with Lucky's eyes and his good heart._

I blink back my tears. No more thinking like that. It will get me no where.

"So," I say brightly and just a little too loud "the kids ready for the park? It should give you two some alone time."

"Actually," Lucky looks between me and Liz "I'm gonna go with you to the park."

"But...don't you two need to work stuff out?"

Liz stands up, smoothing down her jeans with her hands, and says, in a tone that leaves no room for arguement, "Its all worked out. Lucky and I are on the same page now...and we know what is best for our family. We're gonna make it all work, right, Lucky?"

"I will spend my life making sure that it does, Liz. Trust me on that."

"I do trust you...that was our problem before, Em. I just didn't trust enough that in the end it would all fall into place and the hurt would be just an ancient memory...that we could be friends through the rough patches but now I know...cause Lucky has explained it all to me...I know we are strong enough to endure anything, as long as we are honest with each other."

"You are both so lucky to get this second chance," I tell him, meaning every word.

Liz heads upstairs to get the kids. Lucky gives me a long look. "Have you been crying?"

"Happy tears. I went to see your mom. Girl talk...you know how it is. I caught her all up on everything."

"Thank you for caring enough to do that."

"You don't have to thank me. She's your mom...of course, I care."

"Do you know...when we were like twelve or thirteen...before there was any Liz or Nikolas around...my mom told my Dad _You better get used to having that girl around...She's gonna marry our son someday_...They were standing in the kitchen and we had just went out the back door...I went back to get some popsicles and heard her."

"That's a very Mom kind of thing to say. I'm sure once she met Liz she realized just who you belonged with."

"I don't know about that. It'd be great to be able to ask her, huh?"

Liz brings the kids back down and we head to the park. I sit on the bench, holding a sleeping Jake, while Lucky pushes Cameron on the swings. I can remember back to when it was me and Lucky on that same swing set, his hands on my back, pushing me towards the stars.

(_It's bittersweet to look back now  
at memories_

_withered on a vine_

_  
Just to hold you close to me  
for a moment in time_

__

I would've loved you anyway  
I'd do it all the same  
Not a second I would change  
Not a touch that I would trade

_  
Had I known my heart would break  
I'd' have loved you anyway_)

I know it might seem like I should have regrets. I never told him how I felt and now its too late. But I have none. Cause I still have Lucky, he is my one true friend in this world. He will see me through everything, even losing my chance to be his girlfriend, his wife, the mother of his children, the one he rushes home to after his shift, his lover and the one who wears his ring. He will still be my better half, and my confidant and my safe place to fall...he will be my everything, even if I can never be his.

_(Even if I'd seen it coming  
You'd still have seen me running  
straight into your arms_

I would've loved you anyway

_  
I'd do it all the same  
Not a second I would change_

_  
Not a touch that I would trade  
Had I known my heart would break_

_  
I would've loved you anyway  
I would've loved you anyway_)

Cameron runs over, crying my name and nearly wakes up Jake. He says "Do ya hear the ice cream man, Aunt Emmy?"

"Yep I do. Should I make your Daddy get you a popsicle?"

"Please! Please! Please!

Smiling at Lucky I repeat the same words his son used "Please! Please! Please! We want popsicles."

Shaking his head and smiling, Lucky heads over to the vendor who's truck is lumbering past the park, while I slide Jake's sleeping body into his stroller. Cameron immediately scurries onto my lap to take his brother's place.

I can't be sad for me...cause this little boy is getting his family back. And I love him like my own...its just natural to do that because he belongs to Zander and Liz and because he is Lucky's son...I forgave Zander for cheating on me because we were separated when he was with Liz. He tried to build a relationship with Cameron as Uncle Zander but Lucky was there everyday and Lucky was Cam's true father from birth. He loves Cam like he loves Jake and it has nothing to do with biology...and I love these boys the same way. I swear that I would not love them more if they were my own, so I will gladly step back and give them their family...besides who is to say Lucky would want me over Liz anyway?

He has loved her for over a decade. I'm only his best friend.

Lucky comes back and hands out the popsicles and then sits down next to me on the bench, with his shoulder touching mine. Leaning close to my ear he says "After we take the kids home...I need to talk to you, okay?"

His voice sends a shiver down my spine. Last year it wouldn't have done that, because I loved him in a different way then, I was still married and I hadn't turned around and opened my eyes to see the man who stood behind me since I was a girl. But now his voice can brings my nerve endings to life. Another secret I am keeping from him. It will be hard to love him quietly...but I can do this...because I do love him, always have, and I am in love with him and that gives me the strength to put him first.

Turning my head, as the wind whips my hair away from my face, and his child still sits on my lap, I tell Lucky "Okay...lets talk at my place. I'm off work tonight. You can keep me company. Unless you need to get right back to Liz?"

"No, Em, I got time."

So I get him for a few hours tonight. It will just have to be enough for me. Getting to be with him at all is still something that brings a smile to my face, not tears to my eyes because he has to leave me and go home to her. I might ache for him...but he always cuts my pain right in half by holding my hand, and holding on through the storm. And even if everything else changes, that will not.


	56. part twelve, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Twelve**

**Lucky **

**July 5th, 2008**

"So that's everything, Liz," I tell her when I finish the whole story. "You asked to hear it all...I've told you every detail."

Tears stream down her face. "Why didn't I know any of this was going on? You're always here for me when I need you and...you never said you were falling for her."

"It was gradual. I just explained it. But its real. She's deep in my heart and if I moved back here I would only be lying to our sons...saying I love their mother in a romantic way...and letting them believe something that is not true...letting them get their hopes up...while I wish I was with Emily instead. That's just cruel and wrong to do to them. Tell me you can accept all this and wish me the best...like you know I do you. Tell me you have faith in our family to work this all out...for all of us to end up happy one day...to not make this a war just because my heart isn't yours anymore...you know it was for so long...and you know we've been done for a while now."

Its not easy to see the misery on her face but what a lot of people don't know is how strong Elizabeth is at her core. I know. I saw her deal with being raped as a teenager. She is a survivor.

I hate to do this to her but if I don't I will be doing something a lot worst to myself...and I'll miss the chance to go ask Emily _You wanna go on a another date with me? Forget Dr. Leo or Harper or Cruz...do not even think about dating my good buddy Cruz, please! You trying to kill me here? Date me, Em. Love me!_

Maybe she won't.

But I have to try this time. I can not let another moment pass me by. This is the rest of my life on the line here, my heart , and the heart of my best friend.

Liz says "Make her happy, Lucky...like you always made me."

Tears come to my eyes. "Not always. Or we wouldn't have been in divorce court."

"Well, enough, enough so that...I won't ask you to stay here with me when you really want to be with her...I won't be selfish this time. I won't do what is right for me at the cost of what is right for you."

Just then I look out the window and see Emily on the porch. She gives me a smile, that doesn't reach her eyes, and a little wave. I smile back...cause I always smile when I see her. Always have. Always will.

XXXXXXXXXXX

After we take the kids home from the park we drive over to her apartment and go inside.

"Hungry? I'm thinking about making steaks. Sound good, Lucky?"

"Yeah, sure. But before you rush in the kitchen," I grab her hand and pull her close to me. "I want to tell you something."

She swallows hard. "Did things go good with you and Liz last night?"

"It was too late to get into it with her last night. I helped get Cam to sleep and slept on the couch. This morning we talked it all out though- "

She hugs me. "I'm so happy for you, Lucky. I always knew you and Liz would work it out."

Pulling back I give her a long look. Well its now or never, I guess. She doesn't think I'm a coward so I can't go acting like one. "We worked out a visitation schedule. I'm not moving back in. I told her I have feelings for someone else and those feelings are too big to ignore for a second longer."

I can feel how her breathing gets shallower and her heart rate speeds up because she is still pressed close to me. Softly she asks "Oh yeah? Do I know her?"

My hands come up and run into her hair. Its time to pour my heart out onto this hard wood floor beneath our feet and pray...pray to God...she wants to give me a chance to be her man.

(_And now, _

_is it too late to say  
how you made my life so different in your quiet way?_

_  
I can see the joy in simple things._

_  
A sunlit sky _

_and all the songs we used to sing._

I have walked and I have I prayed...

_we could start again._

_  
In the end,  
you are my one true friend.)_ (Bette Midler)

I whisper to her "Its you, Em. Who else would it be?"

Her face crumbles into a happy mess of tears, and then she lays her head on my shoulder. "Lucky..."

I stroke her hair. "I kissed you last night not just because you are my best friend...and not just because what you said to me meant so much...though you are and it did...I kissed you because I have wanted to kiss you everyday since we went to the Haunted Star reopening together. I don't know what you think about that...you never pushed for anything more all these months...in fact you tried to push me back to Liz...but I want to be here with you. I need to be here with you. I want to take you on dates, and I want to sing you the songs I wrote for you and take your picture when you first wake up and put it in a frame by my bed...my beautiful best friend who I am..."

She pulls back and looks into my eyes, her eyes search mine.

I tell her "I am in love with...I'm in love with you, Emily Bowen Quartermaine."

(_For all, _

_all the times _

_you closed your eyes_

_  
allowing me to stumble or to be surprised_

_  
by life_

_with all its twists and turns._

_  
I made mistakes_

_you always knew that I would learn_.)

She gives me this huge smile...this Emily smile that has been brightening my world for years, and says "That's gonna work out really well cause I'm in love with you, too, Lucky."

Everything inside of me just turns to lightness and joy when she tells me that. I pick her up and spin her around.

XXXXXXXXXXX

**Emily**

**July 5****th**** 2008**

Lucky lifts me right off my feet and spins me around right after I tell him I love him back. Can you believe it? This amazing man loves me and he picked me! He picked me!!

When we stop spinning, my hands go to his face to caress his cheeks and then I kiss him, and its our first intense, soul shaking kiss. Its leaves me breathless and dying for another.

What was I thinking telling him to go to Liz? I'm noble like Jason...but it does neither of us much good...cause it just costs us our chances for happiness. I'm so glad Lucky didn't take me at my word and reunite with Liz.

I did want him to have his family...but I can give him a family...I can't imagine what we have being a fling. Its too deep already. I could be the one who helps him raise his kids...along with Liz...and Lucky and I could have a home together, one day. I will never be foolish enough to give him up...never, never, never.

I whisper to him "I thought I lost you...I thought I lost you before you were truly mine...I thought you were going back to her and that you didn't feel what I feel when we are together."

"How long have you been feeling this way, Em?"

"So long...months and months...it just keeps getting stronger for me and I can't make it stop...not that I try hard to fight it, cause I don't. I like this feeling. I like being giddy over you...I like falling in love with you, Lucky. Even if you didn't love me back...I would still like it...cause it's the most remarkable thing...to fall for someone you've already loved most of your life. To realize you can love them more and more and more...how long ago did your feelings start to change?"

"The night I broke up with Sam is the first time I really thought...we had a chance. But when did I start loving you? I started loving you the day I met you...and I've been loving you ever since...but now I'm pretty damn deeply in love with you too...it snuck up on me but its real. I would not play with your heart, Emily."

"I know that. I know..." then I kiss him again, and again and again. I could do this all day and night. I can't believe that I ever went to Stanford now...that I ever left his side for a minute of our life together...what had I been thinking?

Even when he was only my friend, he was too good of a friend to leave behind. Never again will I do that.

(_And when I left,_

_it's you who stayed._

_  
You always knew that I'd come home again._

_  
In the end,  
you are my one true friend._

Though love may break,

_it never dies._

_  
It changes shape, through changing eyes._

_  
What I denied, I now can see.  
You always were the light inside of me._

I know, I know, I know, I know it was you)

Coming up: An Epilogue


	57. epilogue, lucky and emily

**My One True Friend**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Laura **

**March, 2019**

"You should have seen the way she looked on their wedding day. Maybe I am biased but she glowed, truly. She looked like a princess...and the rumor, the not very well kept secret you might call it, was she had always wanted to be one of those. Well, Lucky didn't have a title, like your Uncle Nikolas does, kids, but Emily didn't seem to mind one bit."

This story, the one of Lucky and Emily, is the Spencer children's favorite bedtime tale. I try telling them about me and Luke and our wild adventures but only the youngest boy shows any interest at all. At four he's very much into cops and robbers, and also hide and go seek. Our stories are a good mix of both. But his two older sisters prefer the love story of their parents and they talk the boy into helping them beg to hear it several times a week.

The oldest two kids, Cam and Jake, they are too old for bedtime stories. They learn the family history in a different way. Luke already has taught them how to pack a bag for the road, pick a lock, and hotwire a car. Liz is less than thrilled. But Carly finds it hilarious. Of course her oldest is always in and out of the holding cell at the PCPD, so we don't really look to her for parenting advice.

We are all very thankful Michael is able to break the law anytime he chooses now, though, and I'm thankful to be able to hear all about it at Bobbie's Sunday night dinners. Surprisingly enough it is the wildest of my children, Lulu, who shows up the most often, dragging along her blonde hair, blued eyed quite spunky and mouthy daughter. If I were to tell you who she married, you seriously would not believe it. That child had the pick of the town, too. But she's happy with him and we are all happy for her.

"Tell us more, Grammy!"

"You know it all already...so Lucky and Emily were wed on this really beautiful Spring day in 2009. Your Daddy sang a song he wrote for your Mommy and she cried buckets when she heard it. I bet you don't remember what it is called?"

Just then Lucky and Emily walk into the house, coming home from dinner at The Metro Court with Jason and Carly. The kids all scream"My Very Best Friend!"

"That's right."

Then they notice their parents and run over to give them hugs. My heart always swells at the sight of Lucky holding one of his babies. He is such a good father that it amazes me.

He says to me, as he holds his daughter in his arms, "Hi, Mom."

"Have a good night out?"

"Sure. Although my cousin once again talked us into buying about 300 boxes of Girls Scouts cookies for Lissa's troupe. So the kids can't go to college now."

Emily chuckles. "Yes they can. Not only do we have plenty of savings-"

Lucky breaks in, smiling, "And five little hungry rugrat mouths to feed!"

Emily smiles and tells him "You know Jason always gives me all the money back anyway. Carly just likes to think she has conned everyone she knows into making hundreds of dollars worth of orders. When Jason can afford to buy every box of cookies they are selling for the whole city and then some."

I joke with her "Those are expensive cookies, I don't know that he would want to try that."

Of course, we all know that Jason would do just about anything for Carly, Micheal, Morgan, Melissa, Jake, or Spinelli and his kids. Lucky is the same with his children. Its good to see how close he has gotten to Carly now. They took the heartache of Jake being born in the circumstances he was and made something good out of it. My beautiful grandson became a bridge in our family.

To say I was surprised when I woke up and heard all about Jake and about how Lucky was no longer with Liz, would be an understatement. I couldn't believe the turn of events and didn't know what to think. But it was so close to Lucky and Emily's wedding, that I very well couldn't say _Well, hold on now, what in the world? Is everyone sure about this?_

Thank God, I didn't because they have turned out to be a real match made in heaven. But they are best friends and have been from day one...and now that I think about it...didn't I predict all this would happen back when they were twelve and eating me out of house and popsicles?

Yes, I'm pretty sure I did.

XXXXXXXXXXX

**Liz**

**April, 2019**

Okay, I never would had thought it would turn out this way. Me giving an ten year anniversary party for Lucky and Emily.

First off, Nikolas and Gia have the mansion. So shouldn't this shindig be on Spoon Island? But no one will go to a party out there since the Black and White Ball twelve years back. I can't blame them really.

Anyway, I don't mind giving this party. They are my oldest friends and I couldn't be more thrilled for them that they have lasted this long.

Not that I felt this way that very first day when Lucky told me he was in love with Emily. But I know that man, and looking in his eyes, I knew he loved her way too much to come back to me and pretend he didn't.

And really its worked out for the best. I would have held onto him for dear life if he let me...and maybe the love would have came back but it was never love we lacked, it was trust and faithfulness...but by letting him go that day I was able to find my own happy ending...in the most unexpected person too. I knew him for years and then one day I turned around and I saw him with new eyes.

Emily walks into my kitchen. "Need help with anything?"

"You could check the hor'derves in the oven. They should be just about done."

While she does that she says "Thanks for throwing this party and making it dressy too. The girls were thrilled to be able to go to their Cousin Carly's boutique with their Auntie Gia and buy gowns. Do you know how much they cost? Don't ask. Lucky about had a stroke. He acts like I don't have a trust fund to cover it."

"Its his working class roots. He doesn't like to waste a dime."

"I know. Its another thing I love about him. But it drives the kids insane."

I can hear the kids running on the hard wood floors even as we talk. I moved out of the first house I had after leaving Lucky into a five bedroom, five bath one right near St. Timothy's Church. There was that horrible shooting there years back but the neighborhood is pretty safe now. We have Lucky and Emily's three kids- Lori, Lucy, and Jesse- over about three times a week and Cam and Jake head over their way a couple times each week too. Then there are all the soccer games, and ballet recitals, and art fairs that we all go too. I don't think it would be this easy to get along if I didn't fall in love right after Lucky and Emily got together.

Speak of the devil, my hubby and Lucky wander into the kitchen. Lucky grabs Em around the waist and nuzzles her neck. "Happy Anniversary, wife."

"You told me that 100 times already today," she says with an easy smile.

He gives her a quick kiss and says "So make that 101."

"They make me sick," joked Cruz to me. "What about you?"

"Gag me with spoon."

Then we all laugh. This is not the life I expected. But I'm damn happy it's the life I got.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Emily**

**May, 2019**

I love standing in Lila's rose garden. This is where I married Lucky and anytime we come by the mansion together we wander out here, hand in hand, and remember that day. We also used to run around together out here when I was in junior high...before I even thought about loving him, but when I already was, in my own little girl way. And when he was already my hero.

Cameron is older now than we were when we met- he turned fifteen this year. Lucky took him on his first driving lesson and I'm really surprised he didn't come home with any gray hairs. Cam is just as handsome as can be. His dark hair screams Zander but his loving heart is all Lucky, and his dreams of being a doctor that's pure Webber.

Jake is eleven. He looks just like Jason. I think that some people were really holding out hope he would turn into the spitting image of Lucky...maybe even Lucky was hoping that...but it didn't happen. Still Lucky could not love his second son more. And little baby Jake...which he will always be to me...though he is far from a baby now, he has a girl best friend. He is following in the tradition of his two daddies. I can not wait till the day that Jake realizes he really needs to stop playing games and go ahead and marry Molly...it will probably be another fifteen years away but that's okay. They are just starting their story right now.

Lori Lulu Spencer is eight. She's got big blue eyes and long brown hair. She's a Daddy Girl, which totally figures. She was born just crazy about Lucky. It was my bad luck that Carly had a daughter that same year- not saying I am not happy for my brother but still- cause Lissa became my Lori's best friend. So I get to see Carly, without Lucky and Jason as buffers, all the time. And she has not mellowed with age but as long as Jason keeps her happy she is all right to be around. If they ever break up, then she will have to leave this town or we will cause she will surely drive me nuts if she gets on the warpath again.

Lucy Paige Spencer is five, with dark eyes and dark hair. I was convinced she was going to be a boy so we planned to call her Lucas but she was a girl instead. She really does act like a tomboy though. Where Lori and Lissa will play cheerleaders and beauty queens, Lucy is wrestling with her brothers. I really love how fierce that kid can be. She has a take no prisoners attitude that we think comes from her Grandpa Luke.

Our baby is Jesse Lucas Spencer. He has lighter hair than his sisters and coloring like Lulu, but he is quiet and sensitive like Nikolas and Laura. He's named after Lucky's partner who died in the line of duty. He has a favorite cousin in Lulu's daughter- much like his cousin Lucas had his favorite cousins in the Jones girls when they were kids.

While Lori's god mother is Liz, and Lucy's is Robin ( who helped deliver her during a snow storm that trapped us at The Metro Court), we thought it was fitting that Jesse's god mother be Maxie Jones. Yeah, I know she used to screw my husband and messed up his first marriage and even fed him pills. Don't think I didn't hate her for years. But she grew up and changed. Jesse Beaudry was her boyfriend, and some say her first love but I don't know, and she looks out for our baby Jesse like a mama bear.

So that's our little family. I can't say I knew all along I would get this life with Lucky but I knew from the moment he said _I want to be here with you. I need to be here with you. I want to take you on dates, and I want to sing you the songs I wrote for you and take your picture when you first wake up and put it in a frame by my bed...my beautiful best friend who I am...I am in love with...I'm in love with you Emily Bowen Quatermaine._

"Do you see these peach roses, Lucky?"

"Yep. What about them?"

"This shade is called Arizona Starlight. Lila named it that for us."

"I never knew that."

"Learn something new everyday."

"This just gets better everyday, Em."

"You married your best friend. It's suppose to."

Then I wrap my arms around him and we kiss. This is certainly the good life. Don't let anyone tell you anything different.

XXXXXXXXX

**Lucky**

**June, 2019**

She didn't have ten little Dr. Leo babies after all. Emily had three little Spencer babies instead.

I like that ending to the story much better, don't you?

Well I can't really call it the end because we aren't even forty yet. I have a lot more years to love my best friend.

The first time I ever told our whole story was to Liz, it was my final good bye to loving her...after trying to say that good bye many times before, and my admitting that my heart really belonged to another. But I tell the story, a shorter version, to my little girls at bedtime often and now I have even told it to Maxie Jones.

Did you know she comes from a long line of writers?

So the story of Lucky and Emily...its about to become a novel. Maybe I should go over to L and B Records and see if Brooklyn wants to record the song I wrote for Emily? I'd love to hear that on the radio.

Loving her has changed everything about my life, and made me a better man in every way...and she still thinks I'm a hero, can you believe it?

"Lucky, turn off the light. Its almost one in the morning and the kids get me up at six."

"I'm almost done writing in this journal."

"If you put that journal down now...I will make it worth your while."

That's an offer I can't refuse. Good night, folks.

**THE END**


	58. Pray There's a Way Home, Sexis

_Sexis._

_This is a sequel to Pray Thee Can Cope. That is the first story in this collection. _

_In that fic, Alexis left town the day Michael was shot._

_Now its been over a year and Sonny has left the mob. Jason runs it with an iron fist. Anthony, Jerry and Ric are dead. Claudia dates Jason and so the Zaccharas are a very minimal threat, for the time being. But Karpov still lurks around, waiting for his chance to get a foothold in the Port Charles territory._

_This is a crossover with All My Children_. _Only one character from All My Children will be in this story._

_This story is dedicated to Ayshen because I would not like Sexis if not for her._

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part One**

**July 2009**

**Pennsylvania **

She never use to think of herself as a selfish woman. But Alexis Davis now believes differently. She's as selfish as they come.

While she has all that she _should_ need to be happy...safety for her daughters, an alias for herself that allows her to do volunteer work at the local woman's shelter, a beautiful home, enough money to last several lifetimes...it is still not enough.

She aches for him. Day and night. Night and day. All she does is ache.

See? She's selfish. Don't try and convince her otherwise. She's the best damn lawyer New York state ever had-and lost- and she can beat anyone in an arguement. She's silently debated herself enough times now to have decided that it_ is_ a selfish thing to want to give up all that she has...just to see his face one more time. Another dimpled smile. Those dark, tortured eyes. To even have him yell at her right now would sound like music to her ears.

_I'm not only selfish_, she thinks, during a lull in the phone conversation, _but I'm crazy too_. _Longing to hear Sonny cuss me out for keeping his daughter and niece from him for a year. For him losing more time...and yet I would love to hear him ranting again. _

"Alexis," Jax said "I should say good-bye now. We'll speak again next week, okay? Kiss those girls for me."

"Take care of Sam for me, please," she always asks him this and his answer is always the same.

"You can count on me."

And she does.

Jax helped her to escape Port Charles, and never told Ric where she had went. Then Ric died and it became a moot point that he has filed kidnaping charges against her. Diane worked to get the charges tossed out citing there was no longer a living complainant.

Alexis was supposed to never contact Jax again but it didn't work out that way. The isolation had been too great. The fears about Sam, Nikolas, Spencer and Sonny's lives- and if they were in danger- too intense. So she bought a disposable cell phone, drove 100 miles from her house, and called Jax. Now they spoke every Sunday.

"Good bye, Alexis."

"Jax!" she says his name desperately, as she stares across the table at the diner at her two little girls who are eating pancakes. They both look like Sonny more than her. She sees him every day in their eyes. After a long moment she says "If you happen to see..._.him_..."

She doesn't have to say his name, Jax knows all too well who she means. She asks about him too often for Jax to not know how deep her feelings run. She doesn't have to confess anything...he can hear it in all in what she does not say.

Its hard to even speak the word _Sonny _now and harder still to look at her daughters when she does. They used to ask to see him, Sam, Nikolas, Spencer, Ric, Michael, Morgan...even Carly, to Alexis' great dismay...Max, Milo, Spinelli, Jason, Cameron, and Jax, basically anyone and everyone from home all the time.

Finally they realized the answer would always be no.

Alexis hated crushing their hopes like that but it was what she felt she had to do. There was no way she could live through one of her babies being shot like Michael was. So they could not go home again.

That didn't change the fact that she hated her life now. She hated being away from Port Charles. She hated missing Sonny this fiercely. It was different when they lived in the same town together. She could see him out with Carly or Kate and think_ He wants them more than me. Hell with him. He's way too dangerous anyway._

But at least she saw him. At least she could talk to him. These last fifteen months of silence have been pure, unadulterated torture. Helena herself could not have came up with a better way to slowly drive Alexis mad- at least not without murdering someone.

Jax tells her "I hope I don't see him anytime soon. Its not my favorite thing."

"But if you should happen to...tell him I send my..." _love_, she thinks "best."

"Are you sure you want me to do that? Please be sure, Alexis."

"Yes...please...tell him. Promise me?"

"I promise. You be careful out there. I miss you...I miss all of you...and I love you all."

"We love you too, Jax." She holds up the phone, turning it toward her sticky faced daughters.

Molly and Kristina both say "We love you, Uncle Jax!"

All Alexis can think is how wonderful it would be if they could say those words to Sonny. If she could just see him one more time...instead of sending word through Jax...words that can't tell Sonny all she needs to say, all she wishes he knew.

She has never sent a message for him before but she just couldn't stop herself this time. Maybe it will ease her ache just a little to know that Sonny will hear about how she still thinks of him...and that they are all safe...and maybe he will even hear the hidden meaning in her words:_ I wish I was there with you._

(_If you see him  
tell him I wish him well._

_  
How am I doing?  
Well, sometimes its hard to tell._

_I still miss him _

_more than ever..._

_  
I still need him so._

_  
I don't know why we let each other go...  
_

_Deep down _

_the fire still burns for him_

_  
and even if it takes forever _

_say I'll still be here_

_  
if you see him  
if you see him_) ( Brooks and Dunn)


	59. part two, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Two**

**July 2009**

**New York**

He sits at the bar on the Haunted Star, drinking freaking club soda. Sonny hates club soda. Its not a man's drink at all. But it is what all the good recovering alcoholics have when they go out. At least that's what Noah Drake, his AA sponsor, told him.

Sonny would love nothing more than a stiff drink to take the edge off tonight. Not that its any different than any other night in the last year or so. He's still as alone as ever...Jason and Carly speak to him but underneath their every word still lays anger and pain, Kate is long gone back to New York, and if not for Luke Spencer then Sonny would not have a friend in the world. Its not how Jason, Carly, or Kate feel about him that has Sonny in this permanent funk though.

That started the day his son was shot, and Alexis took his daughter and niece far from Port Charles. Sonny only blames himself for all of those things going down. He cost himself every chance he ever had for happiness. He all but told Alexis to run from him and the black hole that he calls a life.

_Do what you have to do._

That is what he said to her. _Do what you have to do. _He knew what she was planning, knew just by looking in her eyes, and for once he decided to not be selfish...not to fight her...to let her save their baby girl, save little Molly too, and save herself.

Some people might say he was a good man in that moment. He did what was right for all of them, not himself. If only it was that simple. Maybe he could live with it all, if that was true.

The truth was his head was so fogged with grief he hadn't had the strength to do what he otherwise would have...grabbed onto anything he could use to convince Alexis to stay in town. His methods might seem harsh to outsiders but he would do anything, on a normal day, to make sure she didn't leave town...but that had not been a normal day.

Now he had to live with his words, and the loss of all of them, every day for the rest of his life.

All the ways Sonny used to cope with being pissed off, sad, or depressed...booze and nasty sex with chicks he hated the next day...he had sworn off. That left him with just his misery and his regrets, his two best friends now.

"Hit me again, Claude," Sonny said to the bartender.

He had known this guy for damn near fifteen years, from back when he worked at Luke's Blues Club. But he didn't really know him at all. Claude was just a guy who poured drinks. Not someone Sonny could really tell how he was feeling. Luke was off on some adventure again, so that meant there was no one around who might notice Sonny was missing Alexis particularly bad tonight.

_I took her for granted_, he tells himself, _That's the God's honest truth_._ Thought she'd always be around. Even when she had cancer...yeah I freaked out over that but I knew she would beat it...no one is stronger than her...she wasn't going anywhere...now she's long gone._

He squeezes his glass so tight that it shatters. The whole room falls silent. Claude hurries to clean it up.

"Sorry about that," Sonny says to him. "Cheap glass. Luke should buy some better ones. I know a guy. I can get him a good deal."

He looks over his shoulder at all the people who are gambling, except they have stopped and now are staring at the crazy, brooding ex-mobster at the bar who breaks glassware.

"Go back to having fun, all of you! Show's over!" he tries to say it in a easy going way but it sounds like a threat. _Party or I'll shoot you all in the head. _

A nervous round of laughter goes around the room and people return to what they were doing.

Sonny goes back to staring into his glass. There's so much he would tell Alexis if he could. Every time he sees Nikolas or Sam he wonders if they might ever speak to Alexis, knowing that they can't, knowing he robbed them of that, but if they could...there is so much he wishes she knew about how he feels about her.

(_If you see her  
tell her I'm doing fine._

_  
And if you want to  
say that I think of her_

_from time to time._

_  
Ask her_

_if she ever wonders where we both went wrong._

_  
If you see her  
If you see her_

I still want her...

_If you see her  
tell her the lights still on for her_)

Jax stands up from the booth he was sitting at and comes over to Sonny.

"Corinthos."

"Candy boy."

"You can't just say hello?"

"I just did. What do you want? Flowers and chocolate, too? I didn't ask you to bother me. I'm just having myself a drink. It don't concern you none."

Jax orders two glasses of champagne. Once the bartender hands them to him, Jax drops his voice and says "She sends her best."

Then he turns and walks off, leaving Sonny feeling like someone reached into his heart and squeezed it. He can't breath for a long moment and all his thoughts race around his mind.

He never tried looking for her before...he didn't think she wanted to be found. He had given her what was nearly impossible to give...permission to leave him behind.

No one was supposed to know where Alexis went. That was what was keeping her safe...that no one knew...but obviously someone did. Jax did. Not him. Jax.

She had trusted Jax. Sent a message through Jax. _Her best._ Two small words but they mean the world to Sonny. If she told Jax to say that to him that had to mean she missed him, that she regretted leaving, that she was looking for a way to come home. She would never send word to him, knowing it would set him off, otherwise.

Sonny looks down for a moment...as images of Alexis and Kristina and Molly flash through his head... they are a big part of what keeps his heart beating, and a big chunk of his family. The family he misses. The family he loves.

The family that Jax knows how to find.

Sonny heads across the Haunted Star, a man on a mission. He slams his hand down on Jax's table. Elizabeth Webber, his date, startles but doesn't say anything. Sonny leans down, his eyes burning with intensity. "You are gonna tell me where she is and you're gonna tell me right now."


	60. part three, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Three**

**July 2009**

**New York **

Sonny heads across the Haunted Star, a man on a mission. He slams his hand down on Jax's table. Elizabeth Webber, his date, startles but doesn't say anything. Sonny leans down, his eyes burning with intensity. "You are gonna tell me where she is and you're gonna tell me now."

"Cool it with the tough guy act, Corinthos. You're causing a scene."

"Where is she?"

"There is nothing you can do to make me ever tell you that."

"Your mother lost Jerry" he whispers, his eyes boring holes into Jax that would make most people faint dead away, "you want her to lose you too?"

"You're bluffing."

"Wanna bet you life on that?

He wouldn't kill him but still...Jax could think he might, if it would help loosen his lips.

"Sonny," Elizabeth breaks into their conversation "I understand how upset you are but please...don't handle it this way. You're better than this."

Sonny straightens, taking in and out a ragged breath, as his mind whirls and his heart races wildly in his chest. He looks at Jax and says "Tell her I want to meet."

"She'll never do it," Jax says.

"You better make sure she does. You're very life depends upon it. You're a dead man if you stand in my way. You do what you got to do to contact her and get back to me...I'll give you two hours."

"I can't even talk to her until a few days from now. She calls me."

"You better not be lying to me!"

Jax shakes his head. "She left this town to leave you. Don't you get that? You're poison to everyone who loves you. I'd _never_ hand deliver Alexis and those precious girls back to you. Liz heard you threaten me and this whole room is watching you act a fool...so if you are reckless enough to murder me you will end up right where you belong...Pentonville. You cost Carly her son and Alexis her home." Jax stands up. "So why don't you take your ass back to your mansion and cry about it. But don't expect me or anyone else to feel sorry for you."

And then Jax says the sentence that sends Sonny over the edge, the one he was only teetering on before. "You broke every person that ever loved you so if you are broken now...then you finally got just what you deserve, Corinthos."

Sonny pushes him back against the wall and shoves his arm down hard on Jax's throat. People in the crowd gasp.

He hisses, in a low voice no one else can hear, "If Alexis didn't love you so damn much, you'd be dead already."

Claude pulls him off Jax, saying "Be cool, man."

Sonny shakes Claude off him. "I'm good. I'm good...its over." He stares down Jax. "You call me or I will come looking for you."

He walks out with only one thought in his head:_ I can still get her back._

XXXXXXXXXXXX

**The Next Day **

**Pennsylvania **

"Can I pour you another glass of wine, Brown Eyes?"

"Yes, thank you."

He is a very nice man. Their relationship is casual, as far from complicated as any can get. He calls them a good match. Two peas in a pod. He reminds her a little of Luke, with his funny sayings and nicknames and humor. But he's so much lighter than her old friend. He's just an old fashioned good guy, though he swears he was once a real heartbreaker.

They are both divorced, multiple times, and both have two young daughters. He also has two grown sons and a grandchild.

She can't tell him she has another daughter or about Sonny's two sons that she loves, not that anyone cares or understands why she loves them so much, or about Nikolas and his son. She also can't tell the man she is dating the truth about the first forty or so years of her life.

So there is a lot she can not tell Tad Martin but he doesn't push her for answers she can't give. He's a private eye and could probably find out anyway, if he really wanted to. But Alexis has grown to trust that he won't invade her privacy that way.

He knows that Stephanie Spencer, her alias, cherishes her privacy and that of her little girls. She didn't change her daughter's first names because she felt it would be too traumatic. She picked Spencer because it was a last name they would remember very easily. Stephanie is to honor Stefan.

They sit in her condo. Alexis sips her Merlot and Tad drinks plain old American brewed beer.

The condo she found to rent is in a quiet part of town, away from the big mansions and the crazy families who make the tabloids. Though one of their kin lives right across the courtyard from her. Her neighbor is a woman in her twenties named Babe. It took a full week for Kristina to stop pointing out the window and saying, excitedly, "There's Babe...like the pig!" She really enjoyed that movie but Alexis was afraid it simply sounded rude.

It was even harder to make Kristina understand that she could not mention anything about their life before they moved to Pine Valley. Alexis felt she was being cruel every time she chastised her child for an innocent remark about her hometown but it was the only way they could stay safe.

"Corn chip?" Tad asks her, as he holds one up to offer her.

"Not if it was the last morsel of food left on earth."

"You got to expand your palate." Tad tells her, with a wink, "You really should let Krissy eat a candy bar in her cornflakes tomorrow morning like Kathy does. I raised JR and Jamie on that and it barely stunted their growth at all. Maybe an inch or two...but they're still plenty tall enough any way."

She chuckles, but its strained.

Alexis is continually surprised Tad puts up with her at all. Her mind is not even halfway on him when they are together. He gets a sliver and Sonny...Sonny gets most of the rest, anytime she is not thinking about her children, that is. Still Tad has been kind to her. They met at The Comeback, a bar his ex-wife owns. Alexis was drug there by a well meaning new friend of hers, Angie.

"Kristina may eat candy bars in her cereal when she's eighteen. Until then its my job to get vitamins into her, not enough sugar to send her rocketing around her classroom until lunch time."

Tad smiles. "The sugar really brings out the nutritional value of a bowl of cereal. It's a scientific fact."

"You'd never prove that in a court of law."

He leans close to her, softly teasing "Brown eyes, you got to live a little. Walk on the wild side with old Thaddeus. It won't hurt a bit."

Right before his lips can connect with hers, the doorbell rings. Alexis startles. "Who could that be?"

It's around ten pm. She rarely has visitors and never this late. Other than Tad and his kids, she only knows a few other people. Angie Hubbard, who she volunteers with at the woman's shelter, and Annie Novak, who recommended a sitter to her and invites Kristina to play dates with her daughter Emma.

Tad asks "You want me to get it?"

Alexis is already off the couch and on the way to the door though. She peeks out the window and then nearly passes out. Her heart just about gives out on her- beating so fast she fears its trying to escape her chest.

Her eyes drift close and her breathing becomes shallow. She croaks out "Paper bag!"

Tad jumps up. "What's wrong, Brown Eyes? Stef...talk to me. Who's out there?"

He pulls out a gun. Alexis' eyes widen and she raises a hand toward him, as she gasps for breath. "PAPER...BAG!"

"What? Paper... oh, you're hyperventilating. Got it. Hold on. Just try to calm down. I'm getting that bag for you." He goes over to the kitchen area and pulls a paper bag, that she uses to pack Kristina's school lunch, out of the drawer.

The doorbell rings again and then someone starts to pound on it. Tad hands her the bag. With his gun still in his hand, he lifts back the curtain to look outside. "Oh hell...its him...that's Sonny Corinthos, mob legend, in the flesh. Oh, darlin', I'm so sorry."

She drops the bag, in shock, and it flutters to the ground. "You knew?"

Tad grabs a chair and wedges it under the door knob. POUND. POUND. POUND.

"How did you know?" The surprise of him knowing her secret has stopped her panic attack cold.

He touches Alexis' arm. "I guess I'm just smarter than your average bear. You're not dating a rookie, Brown Eyes. I been around the block so many times I wore a groove in it. So how do you want to play this? You grab the kids and go out the back door? If he's got goons out there I'll distract them long enough for y'all to get away. Just tell me what you want to do. It's your call."

Without hesitation, Alexis answers "I want to see him."

Usually her mind is a crazy jumble of reasons why she can't be around Sonny and why she shouldn't want to be anyway, but after so long without seeing his face all those reasons barely register in the back of her mind compared to the ache in her heart born missing him.

Sonny calls out, his tone desperate, "Don't do this! Don't just ignore me like this...open the door and face me."

Alexis lets out a long breath. She has been aching to lay eyes on him again for fifteen months...and now she's about to get her chance. The smallest of smiles comes to her lips. It's wrong to be so happy about her cover being blown...but way down deep in her heart, that is exactly how she feels.

Its not the first time she's been completely shameless over Sonny Corinthos. Maybe it won't be the last either.

**Note- **_Alexis is dating someone for the simple reason that I believe Alexis should have men falling at her feet everywhere she goes. She's really fierce and that should be attractive to a lot more male characters, if you ask me. And of a better quality than Richard and Jerry, imo. I would think that Robert and Mac Scorpio would be punching each other out to get a chance to date her, instead of barely noticing she is a woman and not just a District Attorney. So in this story a male character did see the appeal and beauty in Alexis and felt damn lucky to date her._


	61. pray four, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Four**

**July 2009**

**Pennsylvania **

On the way home from the Haunted Star the night before, Sonny could only think about how Alexis had sent a message to him. He wanted to believe that it was her way of saying: _Come find me, please._

Maybe that was his grief stricken heart playing tricks on him but he let it talk his head into tracking her down, by any means necessary. His first thought was to use violence. Hanging people from meat hooks might not be pretty but it worked every time.

Doing that to Jax would only piss Alexis off, though. She would never forgive Sonny if he

hurt Jax. Instead Sonny decided he had to convince her he was really out of the mob and that his life was much calmer now. That it was safe to come home again.

She didn't have to fall in love with him. Hell, she did not even have to like him, he told himself.

Sonny just wanted to be able to see her, to see his baby girl and his little niece everyday again. They would be the bright spots in his dark world, especially since Carly still kept Morgan far from him.

_She sends her best._

Those words were the first piece of real hope Sonny had since the day Micheal was shot. He would do anything on earth to hang onto that hope.

Not trusting Jax to set up a meeting, or reveal Alexis' location, he had dialed his cell phone and gotten Spinelli on the line. After ten minutes of fruitless conversation where Sonny could not figure out if the hacker understood what he wanted or not, he called Lulu and told her to get Spinelli to track down Jax's phone records and find all the calls from disposable cell phones, then figure out what part of the country they came from. He had to learn where Alexis was hiding out.

One long night of work from Spinelli and he had not only tracked down the cell tower all the calls originated from but he ran a face recognition program on Alexis through the DMV records in that state and found her alias and address.

_Stephanie Spencer_

_105 Garden Drive_

_Pine Valley, Pennsylvania_

Sonny hopped on his jet once he had the information.

Ring. Ring. Ring, went the doorbell. Ring. Ring. Ring.

Knock. Knock.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

POUND. POUND. POUND.

Sonny calls out, his tone desperate, "Don't do this! Don't just ignore me like this...open the door and face me."

His heart beats hard in his chest. He's sweating and shaking and feels like a complete love sick idiot. Alexis might take one look at the state he's in and laugh in his face, he fears. He never wanted her to know how much she gets to him. He tries to calm his breathing down and look more in control, as he hears someone undoing the locks.

The door is pulled open and his eyes feast on the sight of her. She has never looked better to him, not since the morning she was laying in his bed all those years ago. He looked down on her then and thought _No one this beautiful should ever fall in love with a guy like me...a street hood. How'd I get so lucky to have her take a shot on me? Better not mess this up..._

But he had.

There was no way to undo the damage, or get back the past and all the time they lost but maybe there was time left to salvage the future.

Sonny watches her wet her lips and then breathe out his name. Its soul healing to hear her say his name once more.

Before he can say anything back, a man fills the doorway behind her. Sonny can't believe what he is seeing. All these months he has mourned Alexis and she's shacked up with another man.

"Who in the hell are you? And what the hell are you doing with her? Get out of her house."

The guy glares at him. "It don't work that way, partner. I leave when the lady tells me to."

Alexis says "I can handle this. Thank you...for everything...for understanding...for the offer to help. But Sonny isn't a threat to me. Good night, Tad. Tell Kathy and Jenny I said hello, please. They are beautiful little girls and Kristina and Molly have loved getting to know them."

"Brown eyes..." Tad starts, his eyes searching hers, as he stands close to her.

Sonny's back stiffens. _What the frig? Who is this asshole_? he thinks.

Tad asks Alexis "You sound like you're leaving town. Don't take off without letting me know, okay? I'd worry about you. In fact...I could wait out in my car till you're done here. Or go over and see Babe and Little A for a few minutes...you just say the word and I'll stay within shouting range. The Mafia don't rattle old Thaddeus. You need me to stick around, gorgeous?"

Sonny says "She said go. Now get your ass out of here before I get your ass out of here."

Alexis shoots him a look. She tells Tad "I don't require back-up. Seriously. I am more than capable...I can do this...I'll call you in the morning."

"All right then, Brown Eyes. Nighty night." He kisses her cheek and Sonny lunges for him. Alexis screams.

Sonny realizes it is a bad idea to tackle Tad about one minute after he already tackled him. Blame it on all his months of loneliness, regrets and pain...all his months of missing Alexis, Kristina and Molly...all the time he only wanted one more chance, and now he is here with her and some other guy is calling her by special nicknames and kissing her and acting like he knows her. Its just a little too much for Sonny to stand.

Somebody had to get knocked the hell down and Tad was that somebody.

XXXXXXXXX

Its hard enough to think straight with Sonny one foot away but then he has to go and be rude to Tad, and then tackle him. It leaves Alexis reeling.

She rarely engaged in daydreaming before she left Port Charles but since she has been gone she has allowed more than one fantasy of reuniting with Sonny to drift into her mind. They all involved gardenias and moonlight, not fist fights and cuss words.

"Get off him right this second, Sonny, or I swear to God I will call the cops on you myself."

Tad pushes Sonny off him. They get back on their feet. Neither one is hurt. Tad smirks and tells Alexis "He's jealous...good sign for you, I guess, since you seem to want him around...bad one for me though. I'll miss us."

She smiles slightly as he walks out. Then she closes and locks the door. She spins around and doesn't allow her heart to feel all the turbulent emotions of lust, need, love and pain that Sonny causes in her...instead she focuses only on the one that is easy to work with, her anger.

"How dare you come in here and act like that!"

"You moved away to keep you and the kids safe, not to fall for some loser like that...some fucking suburban soccer dad... He shouldn't have been anywhere near you. That joker deserved that punch and more."

"You are awful territorial for a man who hasn't seen me in a year and a half!"

"You're throwing that up in my face when you left town? I didn't see you cause YOU LEFT!"

"Stop screaming or you will wake up the girls!"

Sonny takes a breath and then lets it out. In a normal tone he says "You're screaming too."

"I don't want to scream at you. Lets discuss this like rational adults." She stares at him for a long moment, and says "Do you want to sit down?" She nods at the couch. "Thirsty? I have some wine open and there's beer and water and juice and I think Annie left a energy drink in the fridge the last time she was here. She lives on those things but they just make my heart race so I stay away from them and of course I have to tell Kristina not to accidently drink one but you could have it if you want or I have.."

"Alexis."

"Yes."

Their eyes lock in on each other and the moment slows down.

He says "I didn't come all this way to have a drink with you."

"Okay, then sit down and tell me why you did come all this way."

"You got to ask?"

"You want to see your daughter and your niece."

"Can I see them right now?"

"They're sleeping, Sonny."

"Can I peek in there at least...its been a while, you know. They both have probably grown so much. Has Jax seen them...or a picture at least...does he know what my little girls look like when I don't?"

_My little girls,_ the words repeat in her mind. Now that Ric is gone Sonny has obviously decided to claim Molly as his own...and Alexis can't say she doesn't love that idea. She's always hated the danger his life brings, but known that his love is a powerful thing that anyone is lucky to be able to call their own. If only it was so simple as letting Sonny claim Molly and letting him be near Kristina again..

Tears come to her eyes and she does her best to blink them back, while choking out "Down the hall, the first two doors on the right."

When he walks away, she nervously paces the floor.

_Oh my God, oh my God...he's here...Sonny is here...he found me...he punched Tad for kissing my cheek...Does that mean he gives a damn about who kisses my cheek?_

_Not that I can let anything he says or feel change my mind about staying away from Port Charles...I'll move somewhere new...I have to...don't I? _

_He's here, he's here, he's here...and he looks so good...and I can touch him, if I want...and look in those dark eyes of his...and maybe even see a dimple. _

_Sonny...God, I have missed him more than words can say...Am I crazy about him? All I know is he makes me feel crazy still...and whole...he's here, he's here, he's here._

They might not have much time together. But they do have the next few minutes. And it is no fantasy. It's real and it's all theirs.

(_On a prayer,_

_in a song,  
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on._

_  
Raining down,  
against the wind,_

_  
I'm reaching out till we_

_reach the circle's end_

_  
when you come back to me again,_

when you come back to me again.) ( Garth Brooks)


	62. pray five, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Five**

**July 2009**

**Pennsylvania **

His heart still races out of control as he walks down the hall of Alexis' condo and comes to the first door on the right. Sonny knows he is moments away from seeing his daughter and his niece. He pushes open the door and spots Molly, sleeping on pink sheets, with her dark hair covering half her face. Tears come to his eyes at the sight of her. He walks into the room and gets on his knees next to the bed. He whispers "Hey, Molly...I hope you're having sweet dreams."

Next he makes his way to Kristina's room. His hand shakes as he pushes open the door and spots her. He almost wishes all the noise had woke her up, just so she could yell _Daddy_ and throw herself in his arms but, Sonny tries to convince himself, there will be time for that in the morning. Alexis will not send him away before he can even hold his daughter and his niece in his arms...she'll see its safe to come home...she'll listen to him this time, believe in him to protect them all...she has to.

His whole life depends on it.

He walks close to her and stares at Kristina's face for a long moment, lit up by the night light, and is amazed at how much older his little girl can look after only one year.

_Did I do the wrong thing not looking for them sooner_? he asks himself.

For months and months, he had been just living underwater. Not thinking or feeling or knowing anything. Numb. Kate went to New York to work, after Couture begged her back in April, and she just never returned. A few curt phone calls and it was done. Sonny couldn't work up the energy to really care...he had already lost too many things that hurt much worse, she was a pebble in the pond. He did have feelings for her twenty years ago but this time around was all about distraction, and then Michael was hurt and nothing made sense anymore. He knew he needed someone to lean on...but Kate was not the someone he longed for...Alexis was.

He whispers to Kristina "I love you, little angel...and I'm gonna get you your home back...I promise you that, baby girl. Your Daddy...he's gonna make this right."

XXXXXXXXX

Her hand is shaking so much that she can barely pour another glass of wine. When Sonny walks back into the living room, Alexis says "I'm having Merlot. Sure you don't want a glass too?"

"I don't drink anymore."

"Oh...I'm sorry. I'm glad to hear you went back to that. I'll get rid of this." She grabs the bottle and heads toward the sink to pour it out.

"No. Its okay. Just...sit down, all right?"

_Okay, this is it_, she thinks.._..Time to find out if he hates me for leaving Port Charles_.

They sit next to each other on her white couch. Sonny stares at her intently. The silence grows thick with tension.

Finally she blurts out "I know you're mad at me but I did what I had to do and I would do it again and you have no right to judge me! You should thank me, in fact, cause I saved our daughter from being in the path of errant bullets and even if the cost was high, Kristina is worth any cost and I can't regret what I did! So don't ask me to!"

"You think I'm here to argue with you? And then do what? Try and yank Kristina out of your arms? Is that what you really think of me?"

"I know you want your daughter back."

"Damn right I do. I want all of you back home...cause that's where you belong. And you know that. Its why you sent word to me through Jax. Admit it. You wanted me to find you."

"You are certainly construing an awful lot from _Tell Sonny I send my best_."

"Yeah? Then what did you mean?"

"I meant...I hope you were doing well and I wanted you to know that. And, you should know, that we are doing well here, too. Its not easy for the girls to away from all of their family but they are getting more and more used to it everyday. This is becoming their home now."

"Pine Valley will never be home for any of you and you know it."

"You sure seem to believe you know plenty about what I think and what I feel and what I should do. If you know it all then why do you need to even talk to me? Just call in some goons to kidnap us and get it over with already. "

Sonny rubs his forehead, takes a few breaths in and out and then puts down his hand. "Alexis...I rushed here the second I found out where you were... I knew it was what I had to do...so I want to do this right, okay?"

_Do what_? she wonders, as her heart pounds hard it her chest._ I can't let him talk me into going back to Port Charles...but I don't want to ruin these few minutes we have together by fighting with him...its just so hard to say what I want to...and so easy to push him away to protect myself_.

"Lets start by getting a few things straight," Sonny says softly "I get why you left...I hate it but I get it. Things aren't the same back there now though. I'm out of the business. Jason is running things. There hasn't been any wars or problems in about ten months and I don't see any coming either."

"Jax has kept me informed."

"And it don't mean a thing to you?"

"Of course it does. I'm thrilled that things have calmed down but there's not any way to know that the peace will hold."

"I'm telling you that I believe it will. I'm asking you to trust me, Lex."

She stares into his eyes for a long moment, nearly hypnotized by the intense way he is looking at her. She whispers "And what if you're wrong? What if everything blows up again?"

"If I could find you here...someone else could too. They haven't cause no one is looking right now. This is a false sense of security you got here. You might like living with no gaurds and dating some Pansy Boy-"

"Don't start with that again. He's nice."

"Nice?" Sonny chuckles derisively. "Yeah whatever. He don't even call you by your real name. Do you want to keep living this fake life...or take back your real one? I'm telling you that it's the safest thing for you, Kristina and Molly. You might think I'm a selfish bastard but I would not lie to you about this. I'm not saying this just cause I want you all back in Port Charles...I'm saying it cause it's the truth. Come home and let me keep you all safe...I can do it this time."

It's so tempting to Alexis to believe Sonny's soulful plea.

Just seeing him is making her weak in the knees...only Sonny can ever do that to this strong as hell woman. Alexis longs to buy into all Sonny is trying to sell her but she's not sure she can. All that matters...all she can _let _matter...is what is best for her daughters. Are they in even more danger here? Is it only a matter of time, no matter where she goes, that some determined mob rival comes gunning for her them all?

She's thought about this, round and round in circles in her head, but all she knows now is she wants to go home...she wants to live where she can see Sonny everyday again...but only if her girls can be safe, too. At least as safe as this life they are in will allow.

"I don't know," she says "Its been safe here so far...no bullets have flown past any of us, and that's a whole lot more than I can say for Port Charles."

"That could happen tomorrow. Here or there...it could happen no matter where you raise the girls. But if you're home you can have gaurds and someone looking out for all of you at all times. It might be a rough way to live...but its how we live...you know that. This...Pine Valley...this is a joke. Its not where you belong."

"Do you actually think I want to be here instead? I don't. I just want my girls safe."

"That's all I want to. Take a leap...take a leap of faith for me." His eyes were dark with longing and honesty and so very hard to resist.

After a long moment he asks "What more do you want to hear from me? Do you want apologies? Do you want to hear that I know that I caused my son to be shot by not handling the business right? That I learned my lesson about always having gaurds around? Or do you just want me to beg? Is that what you're looking for? Give me some clues here."

She raises her hand and looks away. "Just stop looking at me so I can think."

XXXXXXXXXXX

He can't stop looking at her though. He's spending every second soaking in the sight of her.

Sonny feels like every word he says is just bouncing off Alexis, not having any effect at all, and that only adds to his fear that he can not get her back...that she would rather stay here dating her Thaddeus, whoever the hell that is, and living in her little safer city where she thinks going by the name Stephanie is the same as having a bullet proof vest on.

If he only knew what she wanted to hear, at this point, he would say it in a second. He can't remember ever begging a woman before to come back to him...he tells them to take him or leave him...or tells them that they know damn well they want him...but for Alexis Davis...Sonny would beg.

He's at the point where it is beg or walk out of here without her, and he's not about to just give up and go home alone.

_  
(I'll do anything you want me to  
I'll do anything at all_

And I'm standing 

_here for all the world to see_

_  
Oh baby that's what's left of me  
Don't have very far to fall..._

_Oh honey I don't have a prayer  
Every time I see you standing there  
I go down upon my knees_

And I'm changing

_swore I'd never compromise_

_  
Oh but you convinced me otherwise  
I'll do anything you please..._

_You know it should be easy_

_for a man who's strong  
to say he's sorry or admit when he's wrong..._

_I don't have the power nowI don't want it anyhow  
So I got to let it go_

Oh I'm shameless, shameless as a man can be  
You make a total fool of me  
I just wanted to you to know

Oh I'm shameless  
I just wanted you to know  
Oh I'm shameless  
Oh I'm down on my knees...shameless) ( Garth Brooks)


	63. pray six, sexis

**Note- Alexis left town before the Haunted Star opening so Jerry/Alexis did not get off the ground**.

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Six**

**July 2009**

_Come home and let me keep you all safe...I can do it this time...Take a leap...take a leap of faith for me._

Sonny's words repeat over and over in Alexis mind, as she sits next to him on her couch. She can feel the heat from his body, feel his breath on her, feel his eyes washing over her and it makes her mind nearly shut off. That's not what she needs right now...she needs to rationally weigh her options. Is it safe to return to Port Charles now or not?

"What more do you want to hear from me?" Sonny asks "Do you want apologies? Do you want to hear that I know that I caused my son to be shot by not handling the business right? That I learned my lesson about always having gaurds around? Or do you just want me to beg? Is that what you're looking for? Give me some clues here."

She raises her hand and looks away. "Just stop looking at me so I can think."

Alexis knows Jerry Jacks and Anthony Zacchara are dead...and so is Ric...all threats and all wiped off the face of the earth...but isn't there always another threat waiting around the next corner? Another Alcazar to come back from his grave? Another Karpov? Another Ruiz? There will always be another one.

And they could come after her in Pine Valley, too. She's always known that. But still it was the best thing she could think to after hearing that Michael might never wake up from his coma. Running had seemed the sane choice...the only choice...and maybe it had been. And maybe it still was. Maybe she will have to run forever. Maybe she will have to miss Sonny forever.

Before she can decide anything he reaches out and touches her arm. Just to feel his hand on her bare skin sets her nerve endings on fire. Slowly she turns and looks at him.

Alexis has to fight the urge to lean close to Sonny, to rest her head on his shoulder, to grip him tight and just get some strength back...but she doesn't...because that's not something she is allowed to do now. They have hurt each other in ways that are big and small...she feels like she lost her friend so long ago...but she never lost all the love she wanted to give him. Even if she has very little hope he will ever want to give her any back.

_Sonny is only here cause I'm the key to getting Kristina and Molly back to Port Charles_, Alexis thinks. _I can't let myself think anything else is going on here. I'm a smart woman...I know what the deal is.._..

Sonny's voice is low when he says "Hey...its just not right...for you to be here and me to be there...its not, and you know that."

"Me and the girls."

His eye brows furrow. "What?"

"You said for me to be here...you meant for me and the girls, right? Or just the girls? That's who you really want home again and I can sympathize with you. Do not think I take lightly what I did to you. Or that I'm anything like Carly and I feel you are not good enough for your kids. I might have sort of fallen into having a baby with you but that doesn't mean that...well, that...I wouldn't have chosen you to father my girls if this was a different sort of world where there weren't gunman hiding on rooftops who might shoot at us or them. Cause I know you love your kids and you are a great father. I didn't take Kristina away because you aren't. I just wanted my daughters safe. I know you want them back in your day to day life and I know, Sonny, that you would say anything right now to get them back but I just don't see how I can agree with-"

The words all die on her tongue when he quickly brings his lips to hers in a kiss.

XXXXXXXXX

What neither of them knows is that Tad Martin is looking in the window at that moment. He went to visit his ex-daughter-in- law Babe Carey, who lives across the courtyard, and then he stopped back by to peek in and make sure all was come in her condo.

He smiles slightly at what he sees. Now he understands why him and Stephanie never really grew that close while they were dating. She wasn't running from a dangerous mob boss, like he guessed when he looked into her background by running her fingerprints through the national data banks. Nope, she wasn't afraid of Kristina's father at all. Tad's Stephanie...really Alexis Davis...born Natasha Davidovich...she was still in love with Sonny Corinthos.

Tad heads home. He pulls out his cell phone and calls his best friend, who lives far away in hiding from her ex-husband, and says "Liza...hey, sweetie...no, nothing's wrong...is it late? I hadn't noticed. I was just thinking about you, is all."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Sonny feels like he's walking on a ledge here, trying to say or do the right thing to make her understand just why he can not get back on his jet alone and go back to his silent tomblike mansion and miserable existence...back to his world where there is no Alexis to ever even hope to see on the street, or have hurry into his office or living room telling him how she wants everything to go down.

But all he has said has not worked at all because Alexis believes he only cares about Kristina and Molly, not her. So Sonny did the one thing he knew would show he did care about her...still and always...and he was lonely enough now to not hide a thing from her anymore. He kissed her.

To his great surprise, Alexis responds to the kiss and winds her arms around his neck. His tongue darts over her bottom lip, and she opens her mouth for him. The kiss deepens and Sonny can't even believe how right this feels...this is what kissing is supposed to be...with every other woman its just child's play...just lust...just a game...with Alexis its everything it should be. Its sensual and pulse pounding and real. And he is not in it alone, Alexis is right there with him every step of the way...and Sonny starts to truly believe, what he before thought was impossible, that she just might take him back.

"Mama! Mama! Where are you?" Kristina calls out. Little feet scurrying down the hard wood floors in the hallway. "I had a bad dream!"

Sonny breaks their kiss. They are both breathing unsteadily. He looks at her slightly swollen lips and dazed expression. His heart swells with hot blooded male pride that he is the one who has made her look at way. He stands up and turns to face the doorway, just as Kristina comes running into the living room.

She stops in her tracks. Her dark eyes widen and she screams "DADDY!" They start toward each other and he scoops her up into his arms.

Sonny kissing her forehead."Hey, beautiful. I missed you so bad. You and your mama and Molly too...I missed you all."

Kristina simply cries and lays her head on his shoulder, overwhelmed by the fact that she can actually touch him again when she was told that could never happen.

Tears glisten in both Alexis and Sonny's eyes as they look at each other.

XXXXXXX

It takes an hour and five stories before Kristina falls back asleep. Sonny picks her up off the couch and carries her to bed. He comes back into the living room and says "Molly has got to be the soundest sleeper in this family. Nothing wakes that girl up, huh?"

Alexis ignores that question and the smile on his face and the fact that her heart can't help but be filled with joy that Kristina got to see her father, and asks him the one question that she is dying to know the answer to.

"You kissed me! Why? Explain the rationale behind your actions."

"Okay, you say that like it was a crime. It was just a little kiss."

"There was nothing little about that kiss. Was it emotional blackmail? You try and use my feelings about you against me to get me to do what you want? Cause that sounds an awful lot like what you did with Carly and I will never be a stand-in Carly Doll for you to play that game with again."

Standing across the room from her he cocks his head to the side and asks "Your feelings for me? What kind of feelings are we talking about here?"

"I did not admit to any feelings. I was-"

He smiles and teases her. "That kiss said you feel something. You don't kiss Soccer Dad Pansy Boy like that. No way."

She shakes her head at his use of a slur against Tad. "Leave him out of this. My dating Tad wasn't...serious...and don't you worry about it! You've dated more people than I have fingers and toes so you really can't judge me. Just explain yourself. Why did you kiss me? Was it to play on the residual feelings you think I might harbor for you?"

"I don't even know what that means...Residual feelings I think you might harbor? Uh... I think you still got the hots for me? Is that what you're trying to say. Well, do you?"

Alexis jumps up and starts to pace. "Do I have the hots? I don't even know how to answer that. I'm a grown woman, so I don't think my feelings can so easily be classified as The Hots. Maybe Carly gets The Hots but I don't. The Hots...that's something you get for every attractive woman that crosses your path, right? And,of course, they all fall for you. Of course! I mean look at you...the dimples...the eyes...Don't look at me that way!"

He smirks. "What way?"

"With that glint in your eye. All I am saying is that your are a reasonablely attractive male and women fall for your lines easily. But I would think you know by now that I'm not so simple to win over. One little kiss won't make me change my mind and see it all your way. I know you want Kristina and Molly back but I just don't know if that's possible. I can't promise you can ever have them back, Sonny."

He crosses the room until he is right in front of her. His voice is low and emotionally raw when he says "Yeah, I want the girls back. But I want you back too. Why do you keep skipping over that part in all your rambling speeches?"

_I want you back too,_ she hears over and over in her mind.

Breathlessly, she protests "I don't ramble."

"The hell if you don't, counselor."


	64. pray seven, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Seven**

**July 2009**

**Pennsylvania **

Alexis is shaking with nervous energy when she tells Sonny "One little kiss won't make me change my mind and see it all your way. I know you want Kristina and Molly back but I just don't know if that's possible. I don't know if you can ever have them back, Sonny."

He crosses the room until he is right in front of her. His voice is low and emotionally raw when he says "Yeah, I want the girls back. But I want you back too. Why do you keep skipping over that part in all your rambling speeches?"

Breathlessly, she protests "I don't ramble."

"The hell if you don't, counselor." He leans toward her to kiss her. She lifts on hand and blocks her mouth. He ends up kissing her hand.

Her head darts to the side of her hand and she looks at him. "I won't let you charm me into making the wrong choice. Or let you use kisses to mess with my mind."

"I think your kisses messed with my mind, you want to know the truth, Alexis. You played me."

"I did no such thing!"

"Then why did you act like you were into that kiss we shared before Kristina woke up...you acted like you wanted me. Was that to wear me down so I would be easier to manipulate?"

"CARLY!"

"Who's screaming loud enough to wake the kids this time?"

"You think I'm Carly! That is not something a sane person can _whisper_ about? I'm not that child-like, girl-woman you married a half million times. I don't use my body to get men to do what I want."

Sonny smiles. "So you kissed me back because you have feelings for me then? Is that what I'm hearing here?"

"Why are you smiling? Your ego still gets that big of a boost by thinking every woman you meet is in love with you? How many times a day do you imagine the women you are talking to secretly have big, deep feelings for you? Five? Ten?"

"I haven't even been with anyone in a year."

"Please don't insult my intelligence."

"Believe whatever you want, but its true. Kate went to New York, like I'm sure your white knight Jasper told you...your perfect Jacks who you called instead of me...and after Kate left I just...I don't know...I couldn't do that whole thing again. That meet someone new and explain my life thing. Or that sleep with someone skanky in a bar thing. I just didn't want to deal with anyone...I wanted to be alone and I was..." His voice drops low and shakes a little before he admits something Alexis didn't ever expect to hear from him "but its lonely...being alone...so...now I'm here asking you to come back to Port Charles and ...let me do right by this family."

Her face crumples into a mask of tears. That's it. She can not take anymore of this.

Alexis spins away from Sonny and covers her face with her hands as she quietly cries. The last thing she wants to do is cry in front of him. But how can she be stoic when he says everything she has longed to hear for years? He wants to somehow put their family together again...in an even stronger way than it ever was before. For them to be a family unit. She never truly thought there was still a chance for that until right this second.

He whispers, hoarsely, "Lexie." And then he walks behind her and hesitantly places his hands on her arms. She leans back against him. He wraps his arms around her waist. "Shhhh...I didn't mean to make you cry...tell me what I'm doing wrong...cause I know I'm screwing this whole thing up..."

She turns around and looks in his eyes. He wipes her tears away and smiles. "I don't know what it is about you, woman, but I lose all my game when you are around. That's really not cool. Cause I should be able to sweet talk you right out of those clothes and back into my bed...my life...I should...but," his voice cracks "I'm not gonna be able to_, am I_?"

After a moment, Sonny swallows back the tears that clog his throat and says "Cause you don't want to take another chance on me...on going home...on all that can go wrong there...when you have a nice place here and the kids are in school...you even got yourself a boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend, Sonny. We date. Its...friendly...it doesn't matter. Tad is not what matters right now."

"What did you say his last name was?"

"Nice try."

Sonny's smile deepens and a dimple comes out. Alexis sighs happily. This is just why she told Jax _Tell Sonny I send my best_...cause she wanted a moment like this...she wanted to be in his arms and see those dimples and have hope again.

"Okay," Sonny says "wanna be brutally honest? That what you want from me?"

"That what you can give me?"

"Yeah...I can. Here's the honest to God truth...I missed you every second you were gone. I know you didn't miss me like that. I get that. But I missed you, Alexis, okay? _You._ You and the girls. But even if there were no kids involved in this thing between me and you...I would have missed just you. I still remember that time you told me you were moving back to New York. Remember that? And I thought..._Why should New York get her? I need her here_...I know you don't think I ever really needed you...maybe I...I just didn't know how much till you were gone."

(_I always needed time on my own._

_  
I never thought I'd _

_need you there when I cried._

_  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone._

_  
And the bed where you lie  
is made up on your side._

When you walk away  
I count the steps that you take.

_  
Do you see how much I need you right now?_

When you're gone,  
the pieces of my heart are missing you.  
When you're gone,  
the face I came to know is missing too.  
When you're gone,  
all the words I need to hear to always get me through the day.

_  
And make it okay  
I miss you_) ( Avril Lavigne)

She whispers "You're wrong."

He stills. "How can you say that? I'm...putting my heart out there for you, Alexis. I missed you every second. That's the damn truth. You might not have been missing me but I was missing you...I missed you and I want you back home...to be _with _me."

"You're wrong, Sonny. I did miss you like that. I missed you every single second since I left...so what do you think about that?"

Shaking his head, and grinning ear to ear, he cups her face and then says "I think you should have opened with that line." And then he kisses her so intensely that Alexis' knees nearly buckle and she grabs onto him to stay upright.

(_We were made for each other,  
out here forever,  
I know we were._

_  
Yeah!_

_Yeah!_

All I ever wanted 

_was for you to know_

_everything I do I give my heart and soul!_

_  
I can hardly breathe_

_I need to feel you here with me_)

She pushes back from him, gasping for air, "Okay, this is crazy."

"Crazy good, yeah I know."

"You don't have to pretend you have feelings for me in order to convince me to move back to Port Charles, if that is what you are doing."

His face falls. "Pretend? Why can't you believe in anything I say or do? You don't have no trust left in me, do you?"

"You just walked in here and flipped my world upside down and asked me to trust you...we've had real trust issues since the moment you decided to go back to Carly instead of be with me."

"I picked Michael, not Carly."

"Oh really? Cause you slept with Carly for years afterwards. Not that I want to get into all that right now or anything. All I am saying is..."

"Hold on. I went back to Carly cause I promised Jason I would take care of the family he gave me. I always did have feelings for her but they were mostly lust...cause love doesn't do what we did to each other...love forgives and we can't forgive each other...love hangs on through the nightmares...love will be there even after you lose more than you can bear...she loves Jason. And one day, hell, she will probably snag him again. Carly never loved me like she does him...and the love I had for her was ugly. It's the ugliest thing I've ever been a part of. She screwed me for years and I screwed her and we called that love."

Alexis covers her ears. "I don't want that image in my head!"

Sonny gently takes down her hands and looks in her eyes. "I thought I had to make it work with Carly back then and later I thought...it would never work with anyone else and that I should be with her...I should be in that constant war with her...cause it felt normal by then and if I gave up on it...if I told her to marry Jax...then it meant I gave you up for no good reason. So I kept fighting for her...but her and Jax have been over for a while now and I'm not back with Carly and I'm never gonna touch her again."

"Jax told me she just got engaged to Jagger Cates. That's what is holding you back. Because, despite all your proclamations about it being about family or lust or promises, you always go back to Carly and you always pass me over for Carly. I don't like saying that but that has been my truth for years."

"If I wanted her...I would go get her right now. Don't ever think I picked Carly over you or that I'm ever gonna. If you really think I did that...I'm sorry for making you feel like that. But I had made promises and I tried to keep them and I paid for that big time...we all did. Even Jason...who I thought I was honoring by always taking Carly back...at least at first it was like that and later it was just a rut we got into...all three of us really... ...even Jason lost out cause he was always between us and now he is more torn up than ever because...I let...I let our boy be lost to us..."

"Sonny...please stop saying that. You can't lay everything that has ever happened on your own shoulders."

"There is no one else to lay it on. Its all my dirt. Its all what I did to everyone that I ever loved or asked to love me...its all on me and nothing you can say will ever change that. I can't go back and redo anything...but I don't want to mess up tomorrow like I did yesterday. There is nothing phony about the feelings I have for you...don't think that, okay? We never got a real shot and that always bothered me cause...I really wanted to take a shot at it all with you. And I thought...that morning when you were in my bed...I thought _It easy to see why I want her. But why would she want me? Damn, I'm lucky that she wants me back_ ." He took her hands in his. "So do you still want me back, counselor? It's a lot messier now but...I'd still take a shot on it all with you. You wanna take one with me?"

She nods her head up and down, slowly, as fresh tears come to her eyes and she throws her arms around his neck. "Yes...heaven help me, Sonny...I really do."


	65. pray eight, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Eight**

**July 2009**

**Pennsylvania **

Pieces of his broken soul click back into place when Alexis tells him that she does want to try and make a relationship with him work. Sonny can hardly believe this is real.

He is an old expert at playing sexual games, at the chase, at seduction. But this...old fashioned forever and ever amen kind of love...brand new for him. His only taste of it before was when he danced with Alexis and gave her gardenias and let her force popcorn down his throat years before. But their courtship was abruptly cut short and he never really got over that.

To have it all nearly in the palm of his hands and lose it all before he could close his fingers around it, that was his personal definition of heartbreak. But now, after the worst days of his life had come and gone, he has Alexis back in his arms and this amazing woman actually is offering him another shot at getting it all.

Will it be a compromised happiness?

Yes. Just like Jason told him _None of us get to have a nice life now. _

But as good as a life as Sonny can make with Michael not here with them, that is what he wants to go for with Alexis.

Sonny holds her in his arms, in the middle of the living room of her rented condo in Pine Valley. One of his hands stroke her hair and the other her back, as she rests her head on his shoulder and hugs him close to her.

_I won't let her go,_ he vows, never again. _This is it for me. I'm keeping her for life now._

(_I can feel your heart beat now._

_I can really feel your love.  
_

_In your arms,_

_I can still feel the way you want me_

_when you hold me. _

_  
I can still hear the words you whispered  
when you told me  
I can stay right here forever in your arms._

_  
And there ain't no way  
I'm letting you go now_

_  
And there ain't no way  
and there ain't no how  
I'll never see that day..._

'Cause I'm keeping you  
forever and for always

_  
We will be together all of our days_

_  
Wanna wake up every morning  
to your sweet face_

_  
Always) (Shania Twian_)

XXXXXXXXX

Alexis pulled back slightly, wearing a soft sweet smile, and looked in Sonny's eyes. She was shocked to see a tear sliding down his cheek. She gently kissed it away. "If I'm dreaming...don't you dare wake me up."

With a grin, he teased "I always knew that you had dreams about me."

She lightly slapped his chest. "Get over yourself, please."

"I'd rather get you under me."

Her eyes get really wide, but she keeps smiling. "Slow down there. We haven't worked out any terms yet."

Sonny rolls his eyes. "This ain't the kind of thing you need a contract for.

You want me...I want you...Lets do this thing, Lexie."

"Just like that? No pre-agreed upon stipulations for your behavior or mine and what we both are expecting from this...liaison."

"No big fancy words. You want to put a name on it then we're seeing each other...ONLY each other. So that ass Tad will have to find someone else to watch the kiddies play soccer with cause you won't be around his Pine Valley anymore. I need you back home...will you come back...bring my girls and the woman I can not stop thinking about home...okay?"

"I'm still scared for the safety of all of us. Even if we're...seeing each other...I can't let that effect my choices for the girls."

"You wanna know what I'm scared of? You being several states away where I can't protect you. If you have any faith left in my at all...come home. I will keep gaurds on all of you and I'll be around everyday and if another mob war kicks off...we can run together. Cause...that's what taking this shot is all about, ain't it? Finding a way to be together and see if you might want to put up with me for.." he shrugs "life."

"You move way too fast! You're going to give me whiplash or a heart attack."

"Nah, I move way too slow. I was too slow in getting out of my marriage to Carly. Too slow in seeing Kate wasn't ever gonna fit into my life and didn't really know me. Too slow in getting into therapy. In getting to know Kristina and Molly. In asking you for another try...cause I really didn't think...I didn't think you'd give me one. I've been moving way too slow." He places his hands on her hips and jerks her lower body against his, causing her to blush and smile. "But I'm gonna fix that right now."

His lips engulf hers and forever starts for the second time around.

_(In your heart,_

_I can still hear a beat  
for every time you kiss me._

_  
And when we're apart,  
I know how much you miss me._

_  
I can still feel your love for me  
in your heart.And there ain't no way  
I'm letting you go now_

_  
And there ain't now way  
and there ain't no how_

_  
I'll never see that day...  
_

_  
'Cause I'm keeping you  
forever and for always_

_  
We will be together all of our days_

_  
Wanna wake up every morning  
to your sweet face_

_  
Always_

_I wanna wake up every morning... with you _)

He runs his hands into her hair as they kiss each other tenderly, when he pulls back, he rests his forehead against her forehead. "Tell me something, would ya?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Did you give Jax that message for me so I would come and find you?"

Alexis smiles. "Not totally consciously but my subconscious...really hoped you would be stubborn and bull headed and possessive and decide there was no way Jax should know where we were if you didn't and it worked. See? I'm not like Carly. My plans work."

"Please...don't ever mention Carly when I'm about to kiss you again."

He brings his lips to hers once more. After fifteen months of feeling like his world was the darkest place on earth, Sonny finally feels alive again. He feels like he got his hope back...he got the woman that was never supposed to fall for him...but somehow she had...and even after all the crap he pulled, the hateful words they spoke to each other, the tears, and the lost days when they could have been together and working toward something better than they had apart...even after she kept his baby from him and had another one with his brother...while he knocked up her daughter...and even after way too many lonely nights where fear was their only companion...after it all...Sonny's right back where he belongs.

And this time he knows it without a doubt.

(_In your eyes_

_I can still see  
the look of the one_

_who really loves me._

_  
The one who wouldn't put _

_anything  
else in the world above me._

_I can  
still see love for me in your eyes._

_  
I still see the love.  
And there ain't no way--  
I'm letting you go now_

_  
And there ain't no way--  
and there ain't no how  
I'll never see that day...  
_

_'Cause I'm keeping youforever and for always  
We will be together all of our day  
Wanna wake up every  
morning to your sweet face--always  
_

_I'm keeping you forever and for always  
I'm in your arms_) (Shania Twain)


	66. pray nine, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Nine**

**July 2009**

**Pennsylvania **

_Asking you for another try...cause I really didn't think...I didn't think you'd give me one. _

Alexis hears his words in her head as their lips break apart from their kiss. All Sonny ever had to do was ask for another chance. She would have been terrified and lost her breath and felt like running away...but she would have said yes. Cause another chance with him is just what she needs to make her life complete.

Every other man is a sorry substitute for Sonny in her heart. Even the best guys in the world, like Tad and Jax and Mac Scorpio, they are the best guys for someone else...not her...cause the only one that really gets her...that makes her heart beat this fast and make her not about to breath or think or be rational...that man is Sonny. At his worst, he is still her best man ever.

Her heart is racing as she takes his hand and leads him to her bedroom. Her mind reels at all that has happened tonight. But if she is really honest...this is all she has been dreaming of happening since he left her standing in the hallway of General Hospital in March of last year. Since he told her _Only a monster would do what I have done to my children._

That day she had thought all their chances had burned away and turned to nothing but smoke that would wrap itself around them and choke the oxygen out of their worlds. But Alexis had been wrong.

There was no way for it not to change everything, having Michael shot and in a coma, it changed their whole family forever...it destroyed the weak couples but it remade the strong ones into something even stronger.

She will not let go of her hope again. She will believe Michael will wake up. She will believe that Jason can keep another mob war from starting and that Carly will turn to Jason instead of Sonny, and that Sonny will send her away if she comes crawling back to him for another round of madness. Alexis will believe that her girls are safest with Sonny...and that he will fight to keep them healthy and he will shower them with love and that he will be the father she always longed to give her girls.

It's a huge leap of faith. But she knows she will never get all she wants if she does not take it.

Is she being selfish? Maybe. Or maybe she is just being human. Whatever she is being, she will not stop now. They are in this together...and she can't face the idea of sending him away, of giving up this chance. He asked her to believe in him. There is no one she wants to believe in more. Alexis really prays to God Sonny is right...they can make it...the kids can be safe...for if he is wrong, they will burn in Hell together for this sin of putting their girls in danger again.

She prays he is right. Their children's lives depend upon it.

When they get into her room, she turns on a small bedside light and then turns to face Sonny. He immediately starts to kiss her in a feverish way that leaves her panting for air when he pulls back and starts to unbutton her shirt.

Alexis whispers "Sonny...I need to ask you do something for me and you are not going to want to do it."

He keeps working on the buttons. "Sure. Anything. You name it and its done, Lex."

"Just hold me tonight."

His head snaps up and their eyes meet. He stares at her for a long moment as the lust in his gaze is replaced with a soft sort of tenderness that melts her heart. "You got it."

Then he unbuttons the rest of her shirt.

She chuckles softly. "Not naked! That will never work."

"You aren't sleeping in a silk blouse and skirt, counselor. Come on now. Let me at least undress you and put you in a decent nightie."

"Night _gown_."

"Teddy."

"Nightgown and_ robe_."

"Babydoll nightie that's see through."

"I don't even own anything see through."

"Really? We got to do something about that.." He slides the shirt off her and reaches around her to unzip the skirt.

Slowly she allows him to strip her down to just her bra and underwear. She wonders if he likes her body still...after two babies and seven years...but the sexy little grin he's wearing says he likes it just fine. His hands slide over her stomach and around her back, pulling her close to him. He kisses her gently. Her whole body tingles and she wants nothing more than to say_ To hell with going slow!_

But Alexis does not want to wake up tomorrow and find out that this was simply their second crazy night..._time out of time...nothing is the same in the light of morning_...encounter. She needs to be with him every day for a while and know that he really wants to stay right by her side, and then she will eagerly make love to this man.

And then she will be sure he is really hers for good now.

Sonny steps back from her. "Your turn."

She raises an eyebrow at his challenge but undoes his tie, takes it off him, and then his shirt and undershirt. She reveals his mouth watering tattoo and the abs that make her nibble on her bottom lip. Damn, he still looks like the finest man on earth to her.

Her hands move to his belt buckle and shake slightly as she undoes it and pulls it off.

_(I like the sound of your belt dropping  
your door locking, _

_you jangle your keys, yeah) ( Charlotte Church) _

She unbuttons his pants and starts to pull them down but he stops her and says "I better take it from here...if you really are serious about me just holding you."

"I'm serious."

"Damn it," he jokes. "I knew you were gonna say that." He steps out of his shoes, pants and then pulls off his socks.

She wonders where the hell her paper bag is when she needs it. He's amazing looking and the way his eyes wash over her...it makes her believe in love again, believe in dreams again, believe in him again.

Alexis kisses him another kiss on the lips, the jaw, the throat, until he moans softly.

_(I like the sound of your heart stopping  
of lip locking, _

_the grazing of knees, yeah_)

She smiles and steps back from him. Then walks a few feet away and opens a drawer. She pulls out a black satin nightgown to match her black satin sheets. Alexis tosses it at Sonny.

He catches it and says "Should I throw this out the window? What do you think?"

"I think you should keep your word and put it on me. Can you do that?"

Sonny walks close to her. His voice is low when he says "You know this is what they call slow torture, in those law books you love so much."

_(I like the sound of your shirt ripping_

_  
My will slipping _

_under the table_

_  
I like the sound of your hand slapping_

_  
Your whip cracking, _

_this could be painful_)

His mouth moves next to her ear. "I want you so damn bad right now."

She whispers back "I want you to but..." and then he is kissing her again and pushing her back against the door.

His body molds against hers. His hands slide off her bra straps, kissing each shoulder and then the curves of her breasts. He breathes out "Alexis...damn, you're as gorgeous as ever..."

Butterflies move through her, as jolts of electricity run up and down her spine, and goose bumps cover every inch of her skin. No one can get her as hot and wet as Sonny can...no one.

"Alexis...come on...now...you weren't really serious were you?" Sonny unlatches her bra and reveals her breasts to his hungry eyes. "Lexis..."

She loves hearing that word on his lips.

(I_ may like the rain, _

_I may like the symphony_

_  
I may like the feel of your frame on my frame_

But I love it when you call my name  
I love it when you call my name, yeah  
Both ends of the candle burnt by the flame

_  
Yeah I love it when you call my name, _

_name_)

Softly she moans as he caresses her. His tongue darts out and sweeps over her breast. Her back arches and she pulls his face up to hers to kiss again. Their tongues tangle wantonly.

Alexis breaks the kiss and hugs him to her, breathing out his name against his neck "Sonny..."

(_I may like the sound of your name on my lips_

_  
I may like your touch, _

_I may like your remedy  
I may like the feel of your hand on my hips_

_  
I may like your talk, _

_like you breathing heavily_

_  
I like a lot of things baby,_

_you know me_)

She whispers "Please understand."

He groans, lustfully, but says "All right."

He steps back and grabs the nightgown and slides it over her quick while mumbling "Before I change my mind and find a way to change yours...cause you know I could...we better get this thing on you. There you are all covered up. Good now?"

"This is not what I want.."

"But its what you need. I get it." He takes her hand and they walk to the bed together. He throws all the extra pillows to the ground and they crawl into it. He pulls her into his arms, with her back against his stomach. "I will not try anything...though I will want to try something...but I won't."

"I just need time. I want to trust you and this...I do."

"Okay. I can understand where you are coming from."

"But I'm still messing up what you wanted to have happen tonight."

"Hey...this is a lot more than I had yesterday...I've been wanting to hold you as I fall asleep for months now...as I laid there all alone at my place...finally past all the noise that I used to drown out the memory of this...of being close to you...of knowing what it felt like to have it really...matter."

He kisses her neck. "Lexis...uh...I need to tell you...thank you. Thanks for giving me another try."

She looks over her shoulder at him. "Oh, Sonny, you don't have to say that to me. This is what I want too, you know? I'm not doing you a favor. There are no thanks necessary for me caring about you. That started a long time ago and through all the craziness its hung on. If you have to thank me then I have to thank you because you could have stayed home and not cared about where I was at all..." Her voice cracks. "You didn't have to care."

He kisses her. "Yeah, I did. Yeah...I had to...you made me care about you...when you let me know I wasn't just a street punk in your eyes...and I know I live down to your expectations a lot of the times and I become just that punk you don't like or want to know but...I want to live up to them this time, okay? You can believe in that."

Sonny pulls her back against him, snuggling her in close to his body. "Sleep...I got you...Alexis..."

She smiles as she closes her eyes.

_(I love it when you call my name  
I love it when you call my name_

_Both ends of the candle burnt by the flame  
Yeah I love it when you call my name_

But I love it when you call my name  
I love it when you call my name 

_  
Both ends of the candle burnt by the flame  
Yeah I love it when you call my name, n-n-name _) ( Charlotte Church )

Note- this story has three parts left. I'm posting it so quickly because when this one is done then I will post a Jaudia story.

Sara


	67. pray ten, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Ten**

**July 2009**

**Pennsylvania **

Alexis wakes up to the sound of Molly calling for her. On auto pilot she starts to climb out of bed but then hears Sonny say "I'll get her. Relax."

Her head whips around to watch him crawl out of bed and head out of the room. She lays back down, as the events of the night before flood her mind, and a slow smile forms on her lips.

Its all real. Not a dream. This is her life. Her life with Sonny is finally really starting. She decides to slip on a robe and go check on him and Molly. Molly could be confused after not seeing him for a year.

When she gets to her youngest daughter's room, the three and a half year old is bouncing on her bed and rambling happily at her Uncle Sonny. "Mama and me and Krissy do yoga in the park! Mama lets me draw on the sidewalk! I good at drawing, Uncle Sonny. Better than Krissy. Mama and me feed the ducks with Emma and her mommy. Emma has yellow hair like Morrie's mommy...is Morrie here?!"

"No, Molly girl," Sonny tells her. "He didn't come with me but how about we go back to Port Charles and see Morgan? Would you like that?"

"And Cam too! And Spennie and SAM!" She spots Alexis and stops jumping, immediately sitting down but smiling brightly. "Hi, mama, Uncle Sonny gonna take me to see SAM!"

"I know, baby. That should be fun, won't it? Your sister misses you so much. And so does Nikolas and Spencer and Morgan. And we can see them all soon."

"And Uncle Jason and Morrie's Mommy too?"

Alexis shakes her head at the mention of Carly. It had proven impossible to find a way to explain to small children not to like that woman. "Sure."

"Yay!"

Kristina comes running, at full speed into the run, and latches herself onto Sonny's side. She whispers "You're really here."

He strokes her hair.

"Krissy we going home," Molly says.

Kristina looks at Alexis. "We are?"

Alexis tells her "I know I told you that would never happen. I'm sorry for saying that now. It believe that was the truth then but things have changed and your father came to ask us all to move back to Port Charles. And I told him we would."

Hot, thick tears start to flow from the little girls eyes and she buries her fact against her father. He picks her up. "Hey there, I hope those are happy tears. Cause I really missed you. And I can't wait till I can take you out on my boat again. Does that sound good?"

She nods as her lips quivers. She's obviously overcome with emotions.

Alexis walks over and rubs her back. "Its okay. I know this is a big change and a lot to get used to."

Sonny asks Kristina "Do you know how much your Daddy loves you...and loves Molly and your mother...?"

Kristina nods.

"How much?" he asks

She holds her arms out as far as they will stretch.

Molly cries "That a lot!"

Sonny tells her "I love you all the way around the earth, Kristina. Do you know how big the earth is?"

"Really big, Daddy."

"Real, real big. And no matter where you ever are on this earth, if you need me...I will come and find you. Yesterday was the last day you ever have to wake up missing me, okay? Do you believe me?"

She nods and hugs him tight, as if she is never gonna let go again. Its at that moment Alexis realizes that she can never let her fears keep her away from Sonny again...if he wants her then she wants to be with him...its what she has always wanted and its want her children need most.

Its time to really make this family what it was always supposed to be.

XXXXXXXXXXX

**HOURS LATER**

Alexis stands at the boathouse in the hot summer heat talking to Tad Martin. She has just finished explaining that she is leaving Pine Valley.

"You positive about this, Brown Eyes? Cause I'm sure gonna miss your face around these parts. You classed up the place. I've dated a lot of chicks...a whole LOT...but you were my first princess."

"I still can't believe you knew all about my real identity and never said a word. You sneak!" She gently slaps his arm.

"I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would. But I know you ran from Upstate New York as fast as your feet could take you the day after...Sonny Corinthos' son was shot...and so you had good reason to fear for the child you share with him. Don't you still have that fear?"

"Sonny isn't in the mob anymore. But the danger never ends, I know that. Still I wasn't really safe here because I was found by him in under twenty four hours once he started looking. Now it is true he had the help of a very talented hacker...maybe the most talented one not working at Quantico but who is to say there is not another hacker who could be nearly as good...at least good enough to find me if he tries long enough. I felt safe until I realized how easy it was to track me down. Now I know my girls are safer with the guards and, just as important, they love Sonny...its in our blood...we all love him. They want to go home. They want to be a family. And that's what I want too. I will pray every night I am doing the right thing for my girls...but in my heart it feels like I am." She smiles and says "Tell me I'm not crazy, please!"

"You look sane to me. Love struck but sane enough."

"Thank you for being so good to me and my daughters while we lived here, Tad. You made us feel very welcome."

"You can always come back, any time."

"I don't think I will, though."

"I understand...believe me...I been there..."

"Where's that, Tad?"

"Crazy in love, Alexis, right where you are. Now give me one last hug and get going...you got a plane to catch, right?"

"In a few hours, yes."

She hugs him and then she walks away. She looks back and gives him a wave goodbye. He smiles and nods his head back. She turns and leaves Tad in her past, for good.

It marks the end of Stephanie Spencer.

XXXXXXXXX

While Alexis is gone, Sonny keeps an eyes on the girls. Of course his mind is already thinking that it would make the most sense for him to adopt Molly...make it all official...because she needs a Daddy and he would like to be the man she calls that.

But that day is at least a year, maybe more, into the future. Right now he needs to make more immediate plans. While the girls eat the breakfast he made them, he calls Jason.

"Yeah?"

"Hey...I realize we don't talk like we used to but I need some things done."

"What sort of things?"

"I need eight teams of gaurds, minimum, and I want guys that have been with us for more than five years. Nobody newer gets near this assignment."

"We're talking twenty four hour details for four people, right? Who are they?"

"Myself, Alexis and the girls."

"You found Alexis? She's okay?"

"There's something in your voice. Did you know where she was all along? " Sonny walks into the other room, so that the kids can't hear him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Jason sighs heavily. "Look, yeah, I had Jax's phone tapped by Max. Spinelli didn't know a thing about it so don't go blaming him. I figured it was best to know, for sure, Alexis was safe. I sent some guys down that way to keep an eye on her. She was never without someone checking on her daily for about the last thirteen months. They kept their distance though. I'm sure she never made the tail."

"Don't you think that I should have been the one to make that call?! You compromised her life by telling people where she was."

"I was trying to protect her life! That's all I have ever done for you and her and those girls."

Sonny realizes his grief kept him from being able to find Alexis sooner. He knew he was in a bad place for a long time but this only highlights that point. "How could you have kept where she was from me?"

"You never asked me, Sonny. If you did, I would have told you. You asked Spinelli to look into it and you found out in twenty hours. You could have done that at any time. You never needed my help to find her."

"She didn't want to be found till now. For once I tried to respect her wishes."

"Okay."

"This...us...it don't work right when you keep things from me, Jason. That's why its been messed up this whole last year and a half."

"I do what I have to. Nothing can be like before...not now. But if you need gaurds, they are yours. They will protect your family with their lives, like they always did when you were in charge. I'll make sure they do or they'll be gone."

"I could hire my own but I wouldn't trust them. They would be doing it only for a check. Not because they're family." In a way every man who works in the organization is family. They lay down their lives for a lot more than money. Its honor and loyalty and respect that drives their actions.

Sonny pauses and then tells him "I got her back, Jason. Alexis has agreed to date me."

"That's good. I'm glad for you. I mean that."

"I know you do."

"When does your flight come in?"

"Six- ten tonight."

"See you then."

Sonny ends the call. But his mind flashes back on all the days in the past when it was him, Jason and Carly against the world. They felt invincible then but they were all made of glass. And, in the end, they all broke.

Now Jason's with Claudia, something Sonny can barely believe. And Carly is with Jagger. Sonny doubts either relationship will last much longer. But you can't tell Jason and Carly anything. They do not want his advice and he doesn't want to jump back into the middle of that fray.

Jason and Carly, no matter who they dated, will always love and need each other most. Sonny used to think they needed him too. He knows better now.

The sacred trinity is now shattered. They pushed Sonny away last year and now he's glad for it. Because his place is with Alexis, not them.

Jason and Carly will stay his extended family, whether they ever forgave him or not, but his immediate family is Alexis, Kristina, Molly, Morgan, Michael and Mike. He feels like he has spent his whole life trying to find his right place in the world...trying to make things fit when they were all misshapen...but for the first time everything feels natural and right.

And all it took was Alexis saying she wanted to give them another try. He should have asked her years ago.

(_It's been a long time since you left meI didn't mean to make you cry_

_  
I didn't mean to disappoint you  
I didn't mean to tell you lies_

_  
And after all that we have been through,  
Won't you let me tell you why?_

_  
One more try  
I didn't know how much I loved you_

_  
One more try  
Let me put my arms around you_

_  
Living all these lonely nights without you  
Oh baby can we give it, one more try? _

_And after all that we have been through,  
Won't you let me tell you why?_

_  
And now _

_that we have found each other  
can't we give it one more try?_

_One more try  
One more try_

_  
I didn't know how much I loved you_

_  
One more try  
Let me put my arms around you_

_  
Living all these lonely nights without you  
Oh baby can we give it, one more try_) (Timmy T)


	68. pray eleven, sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Eleven**

**July 2009**

**New York**

Jason mentioned that Sonny, Alexis and the girls were coming home in front of Carly and Morgan. That set off a chain reaction of, first, excited cheers from Morgan and then, when Carly saw how much her son wanted to see his sister and cousin, a plan from her.

Some would call that plan illogical, considering all that has gone down between them all, but it made perfect sense to Carly.

The result of that plan is what greets Kristina, Molly, Alexis and Sonny when they walk down the stairs of the jet. On the tarmac is a group of people with signs, balloons and silly, party hats on. In the crowd is Bobbie, Mike, Carly, Morgan, Jason, Claudia, Johnny, Lulu,

Jax, Elizabeth, Lucky, Cameron and Jake, Sam, Nikolas, Nadine, Spencer, Max, Milo, Diane, Spinelli and Maxie. They all cheer and yell "Welcome home!"

XXXXXXXXX

Seeing the crazy crowd gathered before him, Sonny notes that Carly's new fiancee is missing.

Jagger must have had to work, Sonny figures. He can't say he misses him any. He knows without a doubt that Carly orchestrated this welcome home. Its just her style. To say she hates your guts but do this for you anyway, because its will make Morgan happy and that's all she lives for anymore.

_It would have been nice if Carly thought of inviting Robin, _Sonny thinks,_ but that would probably be asking way too much._

What she did do was generous and, for her, it was a lot. Especially since she really had no use for Sonny anymore. But she did want Morgan to be close to Kristina and Molly. So maybe Carly would loosen up a little on Sonny seeing Morgan too...at least Sonny hopes that happens.

The impromptu welcome back party is a good start for the healing. Though the only thing that will really bring them peace is Michael waking up again. The doctors say he won't. But what do they know? Michael is tough. Maybe he will beat the odds.

Alexis smiles at the sight of the crowd and whispers to Sonny "She has the biggest mouth this side of the Mississippi...but at least this time it worked to our advantage."

Molly calls out happily "SAM!"while Kristina runs straight over to Morgan and hugs him. She whispers into his ear and he smiles. He hugs her again and they share more whispered conversation.

Sam takes Molly from Sonny and kisses her cheek. "I missed you, Mol!"

"SAM! I love you...me miss you so much."

"I love you too, Mol."

Sam walks over by Kristina. She sets Molly down and then says to her other sister. "Its so good to see you. Can I have a hug?"

Kristina flings herself into her sisters arms. She whispers "We're never leaving again. Daddy promised me."

Meanwhile Jax has stepped forward to hug Alexis and then Nikolas does. He introduces her to Nadine and then Alexis bends down to hug Spencer and talk to him for a minute about how big he is getting now. He tells her about how he has his own horse and how Kristina and Molly are getting their own too, according to his father.

Alexis knows she will be a nervous wreck when they learn to ride. But learn they must. Just like they are excellent swimmers and know some French, Spanish, Latin and Italian. Its what Stefan would expect. And in their own way, Alexis and Nikolas always strive to make him proud.

"Morrie's mama!" Molly calls out, when she spots Carly.

Alexis actually takes the palm of her hand and hits it against her forehand. Everyone, but Carly and Jason, chuckle. Alexis says "Oh did everyone see that? Sorry. Well, Carly...its um...yeah...good to see you...You look...uh, refreshed."

"Is that your cheap shot way of saying you think I got Botox?"

"Carly," Jason warns.

"Don't start," Sonny says.

Carly tells Alexis "You look refreshed too."

Alexis rolls her eyes but smiles. There is no way Carly will bait her into a fight. There's nothing left to fight about. They will never be best friends but they are in this crazy circle of friends, family and loved ones together.

Just then a red sports car comes barreling toward them on the tarmac. Its still quite far away though so no one can see who's in it. Jason and Sonny exchanges looks and then Jason says "Everyone get inside."

Fear grips Alexis. She looks at Sonny. He whispers "Go on.."

Sam scoops up Molly. Jax grabs Kristina. Carly takes Morgan's hand. Nikolas grabs Spencer's hand. Liz is holding Jake in her arms and Bobbie grabs Cameron's hand. They all start jogging toward the doors, along with almost everyone else.

Guns are drawn by the armed people in the crowd- Milo, Max, Jason, Claudia, Sonny, Lucky, Johnny.

The car horn beeps three times. It skids to a stop. Guns are raised and pointed straight at it. The top comes sliding down to reveal Luke and Tracy. He calls out "I heard there was a some VIP coming home today but all I see is that bum Corinthos," and then he laughs.

Everyone stops in their tracks, looks at him, and then shakes their heads and chuckles.

Luke jumps out and opens his arms wide. "Natasha. You've returned to the fold. Get on over here and hug your best friend."

Alexis makes her way closer to him. She gives Sonny a relieved look then asks Luke "Since when are you my best friend?"

Diane yells at Luke "Get in line, buddy! You can be her second best friend, if you are lucky."

"Listen, dame, I was here first. I got squatter's right." He hugs Alexis.

Diane says "And I got heels that I can use like a spike if you try and wrestle away my best friend."

Jax cleared his throat. "Excuse me, both of you, but the role of Alexis' best friend has been mine ever since she became my wife."

Alexis smiles at him.

Luke says "Aw, hell, I guess I gotta stand in line for you, Natasha." He gives her a once over. "You look hot, as always. Pine Valley must have suited you well."

"You knew where I was?"

"What? Was it a secret?" He smiles.

"It was supposed to be! I thought I did a good job hiding out."

"Well, nothing gets by me, Natasha. Like I see you and Sonny giving each other looks...something you want to share with the whole class?"

Alexis looks at the crowd. "By a show of hands who knew where I was before today?"

No hands go up. But she spots plenty of guilty looks.

Alexis says, jokingly, "There's gonna be a massive dosing of truth serum in a punch bowl if I don't get some answers. Now, hands! Who knew?"

Jason raises his hand, half heartedly. Claudia raises her hand. Johnny too. Carly gives Jason a look and asks "You knew? Way to leave me out of the loop!"

Lulu, Spinelli, Maxie, Carly, Liz, Nadine, Bobbie, and Mike do not raise their hands. But

Tracy, Milo, Max, Diane, Lucky, Sam and Nikolas do..

Alexis shakes her head. She looks at Sam and Nikolas. "Why didn't you two tell me my secret was out? Why didn't you warn me?"

Nikolas says "I had no idea anyone beyond myself, Sam and Lucky knew. It took me a good while to find you. I didn't want to involve anyone else so Lucky did it for me. I knew your secret was safe with me and I didn't want to rattle you by making you think you could be found easily. It did take a month of searching flight records and then running down leads from the names that looked promising. And once Lucky located you I hired a Mr. Devane, Robin's cousin, to keep an eye on you so I knew you were all safe."

"A month!" Spinelli laughs. "The Dark Prince and the Law Enforcing One are using outdated methods."

Alexis looks at the rest of them. "And I suppose it was Jason who told the rest of you- Max, Milo, Diane, and you Zaccharas. And since all of you have a _take it to the grave _attitude none of you breathed a word to anyone else. Am I pretty close?"

Diane said "I'd say you hit it square on the nose there, _best friend_." She glares at Luke.

Alexis says "And nobody thought to tell me that my cover as Stephanie Spencer was compromised?"

"Awesome alias, by the way, Natasha. It has a great ring to it."

"Stephanie is to honor Stefan."

"Now you've gone and ruined it for me," Luke complains.

Alexis looked at the crowd. "Well?"

Sonny says "I learned earlier today that Jason was keeping some guys on you. He would have known if anyone came after you and they would have moved in to protect you."

"Its that just peachy! I might as well of stayed here. I can't escape you all if I try."

Nikolas says "Please don't try again, Aunt Alexis. Some of us still need you here."

Tears came to her eyes. "I'll remember that from now on."

A long, poignant moment passes. Sonny walks over and wraps his arm around Alexis' waist.

Luke breaks the moment by asking "Is there gonna be food at this shindig? Cause Cook had a fit at the Q's and threw the dinner out onto the lawn."

Carly says "Leticia has it all sent up at Greystone for us."

Sonny gives her a look. "I want my key back."

She just rolls her eyes at him.

Alexis doesn't even mind their dysfunction. Carly will take herself home to her little house tonight and be out of Alexis hair...and this time she will not linger in the shadows of Sonny and Alexis life together. Carly is the past for Sonny, Alexis is sure. Because the look in his eye tells her that it is only Alexis who is Sonny's future.


	69. last part of sexis

**Pray There's a Way Home**

**Part Twelve**

**July 2009**

**New York**

Around midnight that night, Alexis and Sonny walk outside to say good-bye to the last of the people at their welcome home party: Jax, Liz, Mike, Diane and Max.

Diane hugs Alexis, while smiling, "Best girlfriend, if I knew all it took was sending Sonny off to Pine Valley to get your Dolce and Gabbana wearing behind home, I would have sent him months ago! But I'm glad you're here now. Lets go shoe shopping in the city next weekend. You could," she looked down at Alexis's feet "sadly use an upgrade."

Alexis chuckles. "Well, I think I'll be house hunting next weekend or job hunting or signing the kids up for camp and then school for the fall but after all that...you got yourself a date."

Max says "Its good to see you again, Ms. Davis."

"You too, Maxwell."

With that, Diane and Max climb into her sports car and they leave.

Mike says "Well that's my cue to hit the road too. Alexis..." he holds his hand out to her and then covers his heart with the same hand "a million thanks for coming back and putting a smile on Michael's face again."

Sonny shook his head and looked down, embarrassed. Then he patted his father on the back. "All right. Good night. Thanks for coming over...seriously...for taking the trouble and all."

"It was no trouble. You're my son." Mike leans over and then kisses Alexis cheek. "And you...you've made my son happier than...I think I've ever seen him, to tell you the truth. So stick around please and keep him looking this way."

"That's the plan," Alexis says while letting her eyes meet Sonny's.

Mike gives Sonny a short hug and leaves.

Jax is standing there, looking very concerned, the same way he has all night. He has his arm wrapped around Liz's waist and she leans against him. Alexis hopes they are good for each other, that after all the pain and loss they have both suffered maybe they are just what the other needs to have hope again. But she's not sure yet that's the case. All she really knows is that she wants to see Jax happy and for him to have a child of his own to love...and that he's got a much better chance of that with Liz than with Carly.

But then again Alexis would say he had a better chance of finding true love with Britney Spears than Carly. Cause Carly will always love Jason, and always try to work every other man in the room for what Jason won't give her._ Thank God_, Alexis thinks, _she can't get her hands on my guys anymore...Sonny and Jax are right where they belong now...with me and far from her._

Alexis smiles. Life is really starting to get good.

She didn't reunite with Sonny to beat Carly, but she does take some comfort in knowing that he finally sees that Carly never was his soulmate. Because, until he saw that, him and Alexis didn't have a shot in hell of working. But now they do. Now they have their best chance ever to make this work and last.

Two days ago she never would have believed she would end up here, standing next to her best friend, his new girlfriend, and the love of her life, in Port Charles, New York. Home. It's an amazing and soul healing experience for her.

"Good night, Jax." She hugs him and kisses his cheek. "You did so much for me over this last year...I can never repay you."

"If you're happy...that's all that matters."

Alexis looks at Sonny. "I'm really starting to get there."

Liz says "Its so good to have you back. Call me and the kids can have a day at the park together. They are going to grow up so close, you know that one of your girls might end up marrying one of my boys."

Sonny says "My girls aren't dating till I'm dead...so your boys are gonna have a long wait on their hands."

Alexis laughs. "Don't believe him."

Sonny says "I'm completely serious."

Alexis says "Just wait till Kristina bats her big brown eyes at her Daddy and then see if you can tell her no she can't go to the Prom. And by the time Molly wants to start dating, you'll be an old pro...an old gray headed pro." She smiles at him.

Jax coughs. "Yeah...well...good night, Alexis." He nods at Sonny, only, then looks back at Alexis. His words are soft and tender when he says, "It_ is_ good to have you home."

Softly, she answers "Its good to be home."

XXXXXXXXX

Alexis and Sonny end up sitting back on his couch in the living room of his mansion. The girls are sleeping upstairs.

He asks her "What was that you said about house hunting?"

"Well, I can't live at The Metro Court. I need a home for the girls. The Lake House and Ric's home were both sold so...we're officially homeless."

Sonny motions around the room.

Alexis' eyes widen. "What? Live here?"

"Why not? My home is your home...besides I want my girls with me full time."

"The Tasmanian devil has nothing on you, Sonny. You spin your whole life around so fast...and you stay cool as a cucumber when you do it. Impressive. But I can't move that fast."

"I get it. You are more of a slow and steady girl."

"Woman," she corrects. "But yes...so I need my own place and I need to date you and I need to just get used to all these changes. But thank you for asking us to live with you...it really touches me that you would even want that."

"Don't you believe me yet, counselor? I want it all with you." He leans over and gives her a slow and gently kiss.

Then he leans back on the couch and motions for her to come into his arms. She kicks off her shoes, curls her legs up underneath her and lays her head on his chest, while wrapping her arm around his waist.

Contentedly, Sonny says "Now this is more like it."

She sighs happily. "All we're missing is a bowl of popcorn."

"What me to make you some?"

"No. I don't want you to move an inch. I'm way to comfortable."

He smiles and run his fingers through her hair. "You know...a couple days back...I thought you were gone for good."

"I thought I was too."

"But you couldn't stay away from me," he teases.

"You couldn't stay away from me is more like it," she teases back.

They both know, though, that they did stay away from each other, for way, way too long. They would never make that mistake again.

Alexis moves so that she can look right into his eyes. He arm wraps around her back, pulling her close. She says "When I took a job as your lawyer, I never knew that this criminal I was trying to keep out of the penitentiary would change my whole life. But you did, Sonny. And I'm glad you did."

_  
(I finally found someone_

_who knocks me off my feet_

_  
I finally found the one _

_who makes me feel complete_

_  
It started over coffee._

_We started out as friends_

_  
Its funny how from simple things_

_the best things begin_) ( Barbra Streisand)

"Who would have thunk it back then?" He asks "You'd ever end up with me."

"Not me! That's for sure."

"Yeah well...you were the girl..."

"Woman, Sonny! _Woman_."

"Okay, okay...you were the woman of my fantasies back when you were my lawyer-"

"What? I was?"

"Hell yeah. I used to think about what was under those proper little business suits you wore all the time...and then I really got to know you and you also became my friend and then...when I was at my worst...you saved my life, counselor."

"And you saved mine- literally and figuratively and, most of all, when you helped me create our little girl. Cause she saved me in all the ways I never could save myself."

He nods. Tears come to his eyes. He swallows them back as memories of the days when they first met and got to know all about each other go through his mind- living across the hallway from each other, long talks, paper bags, old movies, the way she looked on the island in the moonlight with a flower in her hair.

It always makes him smile to look back now and remember how he never saw her coming, and then she was just there, and he suddenly needed her more than he thought he ever would.

(_My favorite line was:_

_Can I call you sometime? _

_  
Its all you had to say  
to take my breath away._

_This is it!_

_  
Oh, I finally found someone  
Someone to share my life_

_  
I finally found the one_

_to be with every night_

_  
Cause whatever I do  
Its just got to be you_

_  
My life has just begun_

_I finally found someone_)

Sonny brings his lips to hers. He kisses her gently and then says "Move in here. Move in with the man...that loves you."

Tears spill from her eyes "See! That right there." She smiles. "You are rushing!"

"I'm telling you the truth. Cause I've loved you for a long ass time but I didn't know how much

and I didn't know I could ever get you back...and I didn't know how bad it would kill me to be without you...till you left town and left me...and then I couldn't look at another chick..."

"Woman!" she corrects him.

"Woman, please! Listen to me. I couldn't look at another broad...okay, fine...another woman...I could not look at one cause everything in my world was black...my son was in a coma and my other son couldn't come around me cause it wasn't safe...and my daughter and my niece and you...you, Alexis...were gone. And so were my chances to make it all up to you. Kate would sit and look right in my eyes, like you are right now, but she could never get it. She could never comfort me...though she tried hard for a few weeks there before she just gave up and high tailed it back to New York. I was glad to see her go. It was a relief. Cause no matter...how many times she looked in my eyes...she couldn't see all I lost...she couldn't, but you would have...And that's how I started to miss you, that first day when I left you in the hallway of General Hospital, when all I wanted to do...was hang onto you instead but I couldn't. And that's how I kept missing you. And if you ever walk away from me again...expect to get yourself a stalker cause I won't give up on you so easily another time."

"Never give up on me again, Sonny. Even if I say I hate you and you've driven me to the edge of murder with some infuriating thing you did...know I will calm down and that when I do...I'll still be the woman who is in love with you."

A smile spreads over his lips. "Best words I've heard in years, counselor."

He pulls her into a pulse poundingly intense kiss that makes it hard for Alexis to breath. She doesn't mind though. Breathing is seriously overrated anyway.

Though it has been a wild journey to this moment. Filled with more tears than laughs, more pain than joy, it has been well worth it. And this isn't the end.

It's just the start of Act Three. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back. Or _woman_, as Alexis would say.

If she is selfish to want this, to risk being with this man, then Alexis Davis will die a selfish, happy woman...hopefully forty years from now...cause she wants at least that long to love this man before she finally breathes no more.

It has been a long time coming, this second time around for them, but it was well worth the wait because this time it will last forever.

(_"Did I keep you waiting?"_

_I didn't mind._

_  
"I apologize."_

_Baby, that's fine._

_I would wait forever  
Just to know you were mine_

_  
"You know, I love your hair."_

_  
Are you sure it looks right? _

_  
"I love what you wear."_

_  
Isn't it too tight?_

_  
"You're exceptional.  
I can't wait for the rest of my life."_

Oh, this is it!

_I finally found someone  
Someone to share my life_

_  
I finally found the one_

_to be with every night_

_  
Cause whatever I do  
Its just got to be you)_

_**  
**_**THE END**

Thanks for reading latest my Sexis story.

Though I sometimes feel as if I am muddling my way through their story, since I am unsure of all the history, I do enjoy writing about them and feel they are a supercouple who deserves to have their story revisited on GH.

Can you believe I got through this whole story without an X-rated love scene? Hmm. That's just not right. Maybe one day I'll do a Sexis short story for the _It Starts With a Kiss _mature section collection. Because Sexis is muy caliente, imo.

But I didn't want to make this story too long and they weren't quite ready for a love scene, emotionally, yet. Alexis wants her time to heal and believe in forever after again. Hopefully this story was authentic enough for all your long time Sexis fans, since I'm more of a newbie to liking them. I've been a fan of this couple for about a year and a half now. I'll keep my fingers crossed Gh will wake up and put them back together again. Here's hoping!

Sara


	70. Bittersweet Symphony, prologue

**Bittersweet Symphony, Jaudia. This story will use harsh language. You have been warned. This story is seventeen chapters and a prologue. It has a strong T rating for violence, language, and adult themes.**

_Cause it's a bittersweet symphony- _

_this life..._

_  
I'll take you down the only road_

_I've ever been down_

_  
I'll take you down the only road_

_I've ever been down_

_  
Been down  
Ever been down  
Ever been down  
Ever been down  
Ever been down_

_  
Have you ever been down?  
Have you ever been down_? ( The Verve)

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Prologue**

**Rome**

**Day One**

**August 15th, 2000**

"Smile. It can't be that tragic."

Six words that shifted the course of his life forever- the first words Claudia Zacchara ever said to Jason Morgan.

Three days before he had rented a villa in Rome. He spent his days riding his motorcycle and his nights sitting in the same spot in the same little waterfront bar drinking the same brand of beer- the only American brewed one that the place sold. And it was in that bar Claudia took notice of him, decided she wanted him and made him _her prey. _

Jason wasn't looking for anyone to take home, though. He only wanted to drink in peace. Like every night before, he was there to get drunk and work on not thinking.

Because if he let himself think about what he left behind in Port Charles, the rage would boil up in his veins, pumping hot and thick, and his trigger finger would get to itching...wanting to end someone like he knew he had been ended. He was already dead- but his body refused to lay down and die, like his heart had and his mind longed to.

All his thoughts ran to dark places that simmered with rage and regret. It was much better to not think. Just breathe in and breathe out... and survive.

_It can't be that tragic_? he silently spoke to her. _It passed tragic eight months back...tragic would be a major fucking improvement at this point._

She teased him, her voice a sultry invitation to play, "Come on now. Give me a little smile. Its not that hard. You know how to smile, don't you? Just turn your lips up...like this."

His eyes slid sideways in time to catch a devious little grin forming on her mouth.

That smile...it reminded him of one he first saw four years before...one he was working every day to forget but he knew he never would. Jason looked away from the stranger, picked up his beer, and took another drink.

She didn't turn and walk away, offended by his dismissal, instead she leaned closer to him, bringing her red painted lips within a breath of his ear and murmured "You wish you could say no."

Then she slid a key card into his hand, her warm palm gliding over his sent a jolt through him the likes of which he had been pretty sure he would never feel again.

It was the first sign of real life in this man since December 1st of the year before. A day he should have died.

But he didn't. He lived. Much to his own horror. Cause he didn't know how to live with this life he had now. He didn't know how to end this trip around the world, but really nowhere cause he couldn't escape his own mind, and return home. It felt like he could never go home again. Like his home, his woman, his son and his best friend were all out of his reach for life now. They were not his anymore and so who was he?

Jason also didn't know how to stay away from them forever either. All he really knew was he was sick of thinking so damn much.

He fought night and day to make his mind blank of all memories. Everyone else on earth needed memories to explain the past and dictate the future but what Jason needed was a way to wipe his memory bank clean for the second time in his life. His memories were eating him alive.

Until the moment this stranger's hand slid over his, Jason hadn't even been sure he could feel lust anymore...but he could...he did in that moment.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, the drop dead gorgeous, dark haired beauty brushed past him and headed out of the bar. He watched her walk away, his eyes settling on her ass as it swayed from side to side in her indecently short red dress. He looked down at the key card in his hand.

_It could be suicide_, he thought to himself, _For all I know she's a hitter_.

He stood up from his stool, and threw some cash down to settle his bill. He had been moving through life like a zombie...and even in that moment he still felt more dead than alive...but he couldn't think of a good reason not to go to her hotel room. If she killed him...she would been doing him one hell of a favor at this point.

XXXXXXXXX

She slid off her dress and exchanged it for a crimson colored silk robe, as she waited in the hotel room. She poured herself a double shot of bourbon from the flask she kept in her purse and drank it down in one gulp.

When it came to business, Claudia was a careful, precise woman. She saw all the angles, worked all her options, had a back-up plan for her back-up plan, and a drop gun strapped to her thigh just in case shit went sideways.

But when it came to sex, she was wild and reckless. Rarely did she indulge the lion that roared inside of her-ever ruthless in its hunger.

Usually she just slept with her long time body gaurd, Franco, a middle aged man but a good fuck all the same. She never dated him and never would. He had a wife and four kids, who he would leave in a second for her, she knew, but she didn't want him to. She didn't love Franco, despite four years of sleeping with him a couple of times a week, and never would. He was just a dick she had very easy access to. Franco would do on most days.

There were sometimes though when she wanted to feel the adrenaline rush that came from anonymous, life risking sex with a stranger.

The one she saw earlier in the bar was just her type. Dirty blonde hair and dead eyes. Smoldering anger rising up off his skin. Hands that clenched and unclenched as his mind worked over some past pain. She had never found anything in life more thrilling than screwing a dangerous man, and that man had danger written all over him.

One night. That is all she would allow herself with him. But that is all she would need, she was sure, to quiet the beast inside of her for a few more months till another sexy stranger crossed her path. There had been random men before tonight's pick, and there would be more later...of that Claudia had been so sure.

She heard the door knob as it turned, then a moment later he walked into the room, his eyes immediately sweeping down her body and settling on her red stiletto clad feet. Before he could even close the door, her hand moved to the tie on her robe, but he shook his head and stopped her actions.

He closed and locked the door, shrugged out of his jacket and then took off a gun and laid it on top of his coat in a nearby chair. She licked her lips. He then made his way over to her and stopped right in front of her. She looked up and into the most stunning blue eyes on earth. Eyes she hadn't really noticed at the bar because he barely glanced at her. Eyes that could really be her undoing.

Just as the first pin pricks of fear tingled to life at the back of her subconsciousness, and a warning that maybe this man was not one to play like a violin as she had every other before him, his fingers tightened around the sash on her robe and he undid it, revealing her lingerie clad body to his eyes.

She watched his light eyes flare with heat. The small voice in the back of her head that whispered _He's not like the rest...don't think he is..._was drowned out by the rush of desire that rocketed through her when he grabbed her hips and jerked her lower body into contact with his. A second later his mouth covered hers. The kiss was all tongues battling, teeth biting lips, raw pain and pleasure combing in a bittersweet symphony.

This is how she liked it. Aggressive. This is what she craved. Intensity. No time to introduce themselves or make up bull shit stories about their pasts and about how they would call each other tomorrow. He yanked off her robe and pushed her back toward the bed. She landed on her back, looking up at him.

It was a memory she would carry always. Him standing over her...with eyes as broken as she had ever seen a man...as broken as her.


	71. jaudia, part two

**Note- **_There will be flashbacks throughout this story that show scenes from the nine days that Jason and Claudia spent together in Rome. Otherwise their lives are very close to canon of GH's history. _

_Claudia will come home right after the Black and White Ball, as I could never understand why the writers would have her leave John alone during the holidays just to show up in January._

_Other than the fact they had not worked out a contract with Sarah Brown yet._

_Storyline wise though it seems more logical to me that Anthony's behavior at the party would be the catalyst to bring her home._

_You will notice that the tone of this story will be different then Gunpowder and Lead, just like that story was different than Sexy, Can I and they were both different from Days of Heartbreak. I like to change things up so that I can show different sides of the story of what Jason and Claudia could be to each other. This one alternates between bitter and sweet scenes. It can get very harsh in certain sections._

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part One**

**Port Charles**

**November 3rd, 2007**

She knew she was walking into the lion's den by returning to New York- to Crimson Point and to the city to the south, Port Charles. The twin places that held the two men that had made the biggest impact on her life to date: her father and Jason Morgan. One started the breaking of her soul into billions of jagged, sharp edged pieces, and the other one simply finished the job. But neither of them brought Claudia Zacchara home.

She came rushing across the Atlantic for the person she loved most in this cruel and bitter world- her brother Johnny. If she had a heart at all, he was the only man in it. She had much respect for her Uncle Rudy but her love, her love was all reserved for John. She cherished him in a way only a mother could her son...yet he was her brother...but his real mother was gone. The day they stood in their living room and watched their father gun Maria down, Claudia took on the role of mothering John. Though her father quickly sent her away to Europe, she never stopped missing her brother or waiting for the day when their Daddy couldn't stand in her way of seeing John again.

That day had finally arrived.

Anthony was paralyzed from the waist down and stuck in a bed at General Hospital. Claudia walked to the doorway of his room and peered inside. She caught a glimpse of the back of her brother, as he leaned over the bed.

_He's all grown up_, she thought to herself. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes. She wondered why God didn't feel like she should be allowed to watch a child grow up. She knew she was an evil, despicable killer and whore...but even God thought that?

He must. For He had taken away her every chance to become anything else.

"Johnny."

When he turned and looked into her eyes, Claudia could have almost sworn that something that died in her during the fall of 2000, fluttered back to life in that moment. Maybe it was her hope. Maybe it was her humanity. Maybe it was just her heart kicking back to life again.

"Its me..." she whispered to him.

"Who's there?" called out Anthony. "That hot little nurse with the great ass. Come on over here and give me a sponge bath."

Johnny's eyes were still glued on her. He cleared his throat. "Its not a nurse...its Claudia."

"_WHO?"_

"You heard right. Its me, Daddy. I've come back to...take care of you and Johnny. You need me now."

"No one has ever needed you for anything, you little whore."

She stilled at his words but didn't flinch. Instead she focused on Johnny again. "You look so grown...you're not my little boy anymore." She walked over to him and raised her hand to caress his cheek. "I missed this face."

"Yeah? You got a funny way of showing it." With that, he shrugged away from her and walked out.

Claudia nearly collapsed at his cold dismissal of her but she didn't let the hurt show on her face.

Anthony laughed "He knows what you are. I taught him well."

She leaned close to him, until her lips were mere inches from him, "You better pray you haven't turned Johnny against me, you psychotic monster of man, or else your biggest worry will no longer be if you can walk again...it will be if I will be gentle when I choke the life out of you." She kissed his lips, quickly. Then used her thumb to wipe the smear of lipstick away. "Your little girl came home, Daddy, and she grew up to be one deadly bitch."

Claudia turned on her red high heels and clicked out of the room. She had a funeral to go to.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Jason sat on a bench outside of St. Timothy's church, listening to the sound of Brooklyn Ashton's voice drift out the opened doors and into the courtyard. He could only catch pieces of the eulogies that had been given earlier by Elizabeth, Lucky and Monica but he could hear every word of the song Brooklyn sang now.

_Fly, fly little wing  
Fly beyond imagining  
The softest cloud, the whitest dove  
Upon the wind of heaven's love_

_  
Past the planets and the stars  
Leave this lonely world of ours  
Escape the sorrow and the pain  
And fly again_

_Fly, fly precious one  
Your endless journey has begun  
Take your gentle happiness  
Far too beautiful for this_

_  
Cross over to the other shore  
There is peace forevermore  
But hold this memory bittersweet  
Until we meet_

_Fly, fly do not fear  
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear  
Your heart is pure, your soul is free  
Be on your way, don't wait for me_

_  
Above the universe you'll climb  
On beyond the hands of time  
The moon will rise, the sun will set  
But I won't forget_

_Fly, fly little wing  
Fly where only angels sing  
Fly away, the time is right  
Go now, find the light ( Celine Dion)_

His beautiful sister was dead. Nothing could make Jason stop hurting now. He wouldn't let himself go see Carly or the boys, or ask Liz to allow him a few minutes holding Jake. He didn't want comfort now. He wanted to hurt...like Emily must have hurt during her final moments on earth.

He looked up at the sky. A blue cloudless day of sunshine. Fitting for Em. She was the light in so many people's worlds.

Jason brought his hands up to cover his face, as he fought back tears. Then he heard someone walking closer to him, crunching through the fallen leaves on the sidewalk. Bringing down his hands he saw her and his heart nearly stopped in his chest.

Half of him always expected her to move back home one day. Especially with the way her father had been behaving lately. But another part of him thought she never would step foot on American soil again.

The seven years since he saw her had only made her more beautiful in his eyes. She had looks to die for, that was for damn sure, but also enough anger in her blood to kill any man who ever got in her way. She was legend, on the European mob front, a name that evoked fear in the hearts of low level mob rivals who dared to try and move in on her uncle's territory. She was Rudy's second in command.

But to Jason, she was not just a Zacchara. She was his past. Another woman to add to his lost list of ones who he almost got everything with but not quite because he had failed them...along with Carly and Brenda and Liz. For he tried his best with the others, with Sam and Robin and Courtney, but his best had not been enough to make them last. It was the women that he held back on that always haunted him the most.

He stood up and whispered the name he knew her by first, though he had long since learned her true first name. "Antonia."

She didn't even slow down her steps. She was dressed in a long black coat and carried white roses. She made it to the first step in front of the church before Jason blocked her path.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered, hoarsely.

Each word she said to him was coldly snapped out, filled with not one ounce of kindness, "I've come to pay my respects, like the other five families and associates have. You have the condolences of the Zacchara family. Our deepest sympathies on your loss."

She went to move past him. He grabbed her arm to stop her, holding it gently until she tried to shake him off and he tightened his grip.

Jason leaned down and asked her, while his eyes searched hers, "Did you...did you come all the way home just to come to this service?"

"Don't flatter yourself."

Their eyes warred with each other. He could see layer after layer of pain in hers. Even more than had been there back in Italy. "Why now?"

"My father is incapacitated as you very well know, since you made him that way by throwing him off a building. I'm the head of the family now. As such, your boss will deal with me and not John, should there be any negotiations to be worked out. Now, if you don't mind," she jerked her arm away from him "I'm late."

She walked into the church, leaving Jason stunned. He stared after her until she disappeared from sight, as she sunk into a seat in the last pew.

_Next chapter: the first flashback to Italy._


	72. jaudia, part three

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Three**

**Port Charles**

**November 4th, 2007**

"Jason, let me help you," Carly said softly as she sat next to him on her couch.

His face was lined with worry and stress. "You're helping me by just being here. I only came by to make sure you are doing okay. Not to make you worry about me."

"Of course, I'm gonna worry about you. You're my best friend! Jax is at the hospital visiting Alexis. You should stay for dinner. Sonny is coming by to see the boys. They are still pretty upset and shaky after losing Emily. It would do us all good to just be together."

Jason exhaled a long breath and pinched his nose. "I can't. I have to get back to work."

Just then Sonny knocked on the door and Carly went to open it. She said to him "I'm going to go and tell the kids you're here. Can you try and talk Jason into staying for dinner? I know he's not eating enough these days. " She gave Jason one last pleading look and went upstairs.

Sonny walked over to him and said "Hey...we got to talk business."

"What's going on?"

"Claudia called a meeting of the Five Families tonight. The back room of the No Name. Ten o'clock."

"She wants a place at the table," Jason said "But none of those guys are gonna want to give her one."

"That could work out good for us."

"To have her pissed off and humiliated? No, Sonny."

"Don't tell me she's under your protection? If that's the deal, Jason, then you better speak up...tell me right now if you still got feelings for this chick."

"DADDY!" Morgan came running down the stairs. "Uncle Jason, you're here too!" He ran over and hugged his father and then looked up at Jason with shy big eyes full of hero worship.

"Hey, buddy," Jason said, just as Michael and Carly came downstairs. Jason glanced over at them. He knew if he stayed for dinner, he would end up feeling somewhat better, at least taken care of and loved by his family. But he couldn't give himself that kind of relief...Emily would never be able to share a meal with her best friend again, so until Jason could find her killer, either would he. He would just keep going and keep looking for justice for his sister, and Leticia, who was like family to him.

"Hello, Michael."

"I'm..." the eleven year old said hesitantly "so sorry about what happened to Aunt Emily. I really miss her already."

"Me too," Jason said softly.

XXXXXXXXX

**Crimson Point**

**November 4****th****, 2007**

Claudia was sitting behind the desk in the den of the mansion when the family lawyer walked in. "Trevers. I was wondering how long until you slithered your way back into my life. You're getting a little slow in your old age, aren't you? I've been home over twenty four hours already."

"Claudia," he said her name like she was a long lost friend. "Its good that you're here to support your father in his time of need. Anthony will surely appreciate knowing he retains your love and affection despite the strained relationship you two have shared throughout the years. Just let me know if there is anything you need...guards, some walking around money, anything at all. Anthony has authorized me to work in his stead while he recovers to full strength again and then he will once again takeover running this organization."

"Drop the bullshit, Trevers. My father is down for the count and guess what? That means so are you. You're fired." She smiled brightly. "Damn that felt good." Her smile fell away. "Now get the fuck out of my mansion."

"Little girl, know your place. You're not the boss now and you never will be."

Claudia slid open a drawer and pulled out her gun. She pointed it straight at his chest. Then she hit a button on the phone on the desk. She put it on speaker.

"Gaurd house."

"Send two guys in here to remove Mr. Lansing and do not allow him back onto my property ever again."

She disconnected the call.

Trevor glared at her. "You're making a very reckless move, Claudia. This is just like you always behaved as a teenager. Acting first and thinking never."

"That right there just proves you don't know the first thing about me. I always think first and that's how I out think you at every turn. Your access to my father's accounts has already been cut off. I've transferred every penny into new off shore accounts."

"You didn't have permission to do that."

"Have me arrested then. No? Can't do that? Then I guess you're screwed."

"I don't believe you were able to pull that off. You would have had to have help. Not even John or Rudy know about all the accounts."

The guards walked in.

Claudia told Trevor "Don't feel bad. Better men than you have underestimate me and suffered even greater losses for it."

One of the gaurds grabbed him. Trevor looked at both of them, shocked. "Who are these guys? They don't work for Anthony."

"They work for me. I got rid of all Daddy's men. I don't trust anyone that I don't find myself. These men worked for me back in Milan. They will do whatever I ask. They would even put a bullet right between your beady little, money grubbing, power hungry, pedophile eyes."

"Watch it, Claudia!"

"You watch it, Trevers. You watch out for me. Cause I'm not a little girl anymore. Boys, toss him out on his ass."

XXXXXXXXXX

**Hours later**

"Looks like Morgan and Corinthos are about to head inside, Ms. Zacchara," her driver said as he pulled the SUV to a stop in the alley of the no name.

Claudia did not look forward to having to deal with the asshole heads of the Five Families. But she would walk in there and stare them down. Tell them she was here and they would have to deal with her. Not only because she always wanted to head her father's organization and do a better job then he ever had, but also cause it was the only way to protect Johnny.

But it would come at a cost to her. The cost was seeing Jason again.

She knew it wouldn't be easy to look into his eyes and not remember the time they spent together. Still she didn't intend to let any of the good or bad emotions Jason ever stirred within her change her actions in the least bit now.

The fact that he lived in Port Charles, so close to her hometown of Crimson Point, and that she would have to deal with the Corinthos organization over the docks, were just an unfortunate coincidence.

_Jason wasn't in my thoughts at all when I decided to move back home and seeing him won't control my life now_, she silently vowed.

She climbed out of the vehicle with gaurds flanking her. Her eyes fell on Sonny Corinthos, Milo Giambetti, Marco Rodriguez, and, standing there with his eyes locked on hers and his hands folded together in front of him, Jason Morgan. "Gentlemen, good evening."

Sonny stepped forward and held out his hand. "Ms. Zacchara."

She took his hand and kissed both his cheeks. "Mr. Corinthos."

Sonny cleared his throat and then said "Just so we're clear, my family doesn't hold you responsible for your father's actions so...you start with a clean slate with us."

"I don't need any favors from you."

Sonny gave Jason a look that clearly said _I knew there would be no way to work with this bitch._

Claudia fought hard to control her temper. She could tell Sonny didn't mean a word of what he had said to her.

Jason said "Its not a favor. Why should we blame you for what Anthony did? There's no logic in that."

"Any move made by anyone in my family is a move made by me from now on ," Claudia said. "There will be no more accidents. Whatever happens, you can rest assure, I mean to have happen."

She headed inside but Jason said "Hold on."

She ignored him, and motioned for her men to open the door. They did, walked inside and then she walked inside.

XXXXXXXXX

Sonny spit out a curse word. "She's not gonna be any easier to deal with than her psycho father! I offer her a hand in good faith and she all but spit on it."

"There's no reason for her to trust us. She has to know we're gunning for revenge these days. She's not gonna just accept on blind faith that we will respect her place at the head of her family and not look to take her out."

Sonny gave him a look that said _Maybe that is just what we should do._

Jason said "I'll meet with her myself. Work out a truce. Settle things down enough so that she don't think we're coming after her and we don't have to worry about her coming after us."

"You're walking a tight rope. I got to know if you fall off...who's side you gonna land on?"

"What are you asking me? If I would ever betray you? Cause if you don't know that by now..."

"I don't doubt you're loyal but...that chick...she gets to you."

"I will treat her like anyone else."

Sonny shook his head. "She's not anyone else. And the sooner you admit that, the better this will go for all of us. I got to be able to count on you. Whatever is left between you two...work it out and I mean tonight! Now lets get in there before she pisses the wrong person off and blood starts spraying on the walls."

_Next Chapter: Flashback to Day two in Italy. Then in 2007, Jason asks for a truce._


	73. jaudia, part four

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Four**

**November 4th, 2007**

After a tension filled meeting at the No Name, everyone filed back out into the alley. Claudia, still flanked by her gaurds, crawled into her SUV. Jason walked over and attempted to speak to her but a guard stood blocking the open door.

Jason said to him "Tell your boss I want to talk to her."

Staring right at Jason the gaurd said "Ms. Zacchara, Mr. Morgan requests a moment of your time."

"He may have a moment. Let him in."

The gaurd stepped aside and Jason crawled into the SUV. His eyes moved over her face and then down her body, as he soaked in the image of her once again. The door of the SUV closed and the overhead light went off, plunging them into near darkness, with only one streetlight outside to give any illumination.

Jason asked her "Did you think it was smart to throw that guy against the wall?"

"He disrespected my brother. He's lucky I didn't cut his balls off."

"He had as many guards as you did. It could have turned into a blood bath in there."

"Well, then there might be one less Zacchara around for you to worry about. Don't concern yourself with the welfare of your sworn enemy. It shows weakness."

"You and John aren't my enemies. Anthony is the only one in your family I got a beef with, Antonia."

"Don't you fucking call me that ever again!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Day Two

"_Antonia," he murmured her name softly, like a prayer, as he watched her sleep the morning after they met._

_Though he couldn't say he felt any deep emotions for her, Jason did appreciate that she could keep his mind off thinking about everyone back in Port Charles- about the life he was supposed to have but now never would. Maybe if he took any chick to bed it would have helped to drown out the voices in his head but this was not just any chick he had slept with_.

_She was every contradiction ever known to man. Sunshine and rain at the same time. Fire, ice. Crazy, cool. She'd smile and her face would light up. Five seconds later she was teasing him to within a inch of his sanity with her tongue running over the length of him and then she was cracking jokes, and then she was climbing on top of him. Taking control of their pace, moving in a completely unabashedly sensual way. Not ashamed to take whatever pleasure she could from the stranger she brought back to her bed. She was uncomplicated, because he did not love her, and yet, as a woman, she was nothing but complicated and contradictory. _

_It was not just how she kissed or touched him that made Jason focus solely on her when they were having sex, it was how she looked right in his eyes and never backed down. She was fearless. She could take in every dark thing he was feeling and not even blink._

_In that way, she was just like _**her**_- the woman he was trying to forget but couldn't. And since he still needed_** her**_...Jason shook his head, knowing he was defeating the whole purpose of being in bed with this beautiful woman by thinking about his life back home._

_All day every day he had to stop himself from going there in his mind. Most times, he couldn't help but do it anyway. But when he was buried deep inside of this woman last night, there was no other life for him somewhere else in the world. He only existed in that time and place with her. It was a brief reprieve but one he needed badly._

_Jason got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He grabbed his clothes on the way. After a quick shower, he got dressed. Then went back into the other woman and ordered breakfast from room service. When the hotel worker knocked on the door, Claudia woke up. _

_After Jason came back into the room with the cart of food, she sat up and asked him "You're still here? Addicted already?"_

_He gave her a look that verged on amused. "Hungry?"_

"_Famished. But I have a business meeting I'm already late for so I should go."_

_Jason raised an eye brow. "Oh yeah? At what time? And don't look at the clock."_

"_Oh, you think you're clever, huh? Fine. There's no meeting. I just don't do morning after."_

"_Like you don't do afterglow and you don't do chit chat. What do you do, Antonia?"_

"_I think last night should have given you a pretty good idea."_

_He sat down at the table in the room. "You want some breakfast, feel free."_

"_You ever think maybe you shouldn't be ordering breakfast in my hotel room?"_

"_You want me to go?" He stood up._

"_You can eat. I have to shower anyway. But don't think this means we are friends. I don't do..."_

"_You don't do friends either. I got it."_

_She smiled, wrapped the sheet around her, and walked off to the bathroom, grabbing her red robe on her way there._

XXXXXXXXX

Claudia's heart was beating out of control as she sat next to Jason in the backseat of her SUV. She didn't want to feel anything for him, but it was hard to fight back all the memories and pain.

She said "You know damn well I do not go by my middle name. Show me the respect I deserve and address me properly."

"You want to talk names? How long you think you can go without saying my name again? You haven't used it once yet since you moved home."

Red hot fury and heartbreaking pain shot through her at the same time. Why did he have to still know her so well? Nine days, that's all they shared that first time. Nine days and she was never the same afterwards.

So what that she didn't want to say his name? It was her business. There was a few days in her life, just a few, when that name had meant hope to her. It had meant a completely different future for her. _Jason._ And later it meant only misery and anger and loss.

But he wasn't supposed to know that.

Claudia reached past him and opened the door. "Get the fuck out of my SUV. You're wasting my time."

Jason jerked the door close again. Before he could lock it, her gaurd jerked it open and pointed a gun at his head.

Claudia has watched many men die before and never shed a tear over one of them. She knew she would cry over Jason though. That totally pissed her off. She said to her gaurd "Stand down. Its fine. I'll let you know if he gives me any more problems."

The gaurd closed the door.

"What is it you want?" she asked. "You didn't get in here to talk about the past, did you? Cause that's dead and buried. Let it rest in peace."

"Are you looking to start a war with Sonny or not? Was everything you said in that meeting about your family looking to keep the peace true?"

"A war would only threaten Johnny. That's the last thing I want to see happen."

"Do I have you word that you won't do anything to hurt my family?"

"Your_ family_!" Claudia laughed bitterly.

If he so much as said the name Carly she would seriously slap the living daylights out of him.

Jason ignored her dig and asked "Do I?"

"The only family I care about is my brother so if it protects his life to play nice with Corinthos and you, then it looks like that is what I will be doing. But don't test me. You'll find yourself the sorriest man in New York state should you ever do me wrong again."

"I never tried to do you wrong before."

"Keep telling yourself that, _Jason."_

_Next Chapter: Jason tries to make things right with Claudia again._


	74. jaudia, part five

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Five**

**Port Charles**

**November 4th, 2007**

Sitting in the back seat of her car, with a tentative truce worked out, Jason knew he should just turn and leave the vehicle. But instead he settled back in the seat and looked at Claudia Antonia Zacchara for a long moment. Still as beautiful as ever. He wouldn't mind staring at her for hours.

_(I'm holding on your rope,  
got me ten feet off the ground_

_  
I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound)_

The only light came from a streetlight out in the alley. He could see how firmly her jaw was set and the way her shoulders were tensed. Their conversation was riddled with past pain and misunderstanding.

"_...You'll find yourself the sorriest man in New York state should you ever do me wrong again."_

"_I never tried to do you wrong before."_

"_Keep telling yourself that,_ Jason_."_

_(You tell me that you need me  
then you go and cut me down, _

_but wait_

_  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around,_

_and say that _

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late)_

To finally hear his name on her lips again, after seven years, even if he had to break down and prompt her to use it, affected him in a way he didn't expect. A fierce protectiveness of her welled up in his chest. He wanted to make things right with her.

_  
(I'd take another chance, _

_take a fall, _

_take a shot for you_

_  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
_

_But that's nothing new)  
_

He said "I hurt you and I'm sorry for that. I told you that already and you weren't ready to hear it then. Are you now?"

"It didn't have a thing to do with me being ready to hear it. It was too late for your apology to mean a thing by that time."

"Why?" Jason asked, as he leaned close to her. "Tell me why it was too late. You never did before."

"You know, you're really pathetic. Begging me for answers like this. After the two wives you've had-"

"You're trying to deflect my question."

She ignored him "And all the chicks you've moved up into that penthouse and even the little nurse you went and had a son with...why should what happened between us years ago mean a thing to you now? Cause it don't to me."

"Who told you about Jake?"

"I'm good at finding out my enemies' weaknesses."

"Tell me how you found out."

"I don't have to tell you jack shit."

"My son's life depends on your answer."

She simply glared at him.

"How did you FIND out?!"

"Don't you fucking scream at me."

They were eye to eye. Jason grabbed her arms and yanked her body against his. He worked hard to not give in to the aching desire coursing through his gut that made him want to just kiss her and forget about anything else.

"Antonia...talk to me."

"God damn you. Don't call me that again."

"Antonia..."

"Shut the fuck up. You're such a bastard. Go play house with that nurse and her kids. Or go chase after Carly who don't want you now and HASN'T FOR YEARS!"

"Leave her out of this. You don't know what you're talking about."

"You leave me the hell alone. Let the grown ups handle this mob business...you have women and children to worry about, right? Like always!"

"You say you love your brother, right?"

"I _do_ love John. What would you know about it?"

"If you love him, then you know why I have to protect my family, at all costs. Even if that cost...is you." He leaned close to her, so much so that his lips nearly touched hers. "Now I want an answer...who told you about Jake?"

"You don't scare me."

Jason let go of her and scooted away from her. He took in and out some deep breaths. He knew she was making him crazy, but until those words he didn't realize how out of control he really could become because of her.

"I'm sorry for grabbing you. That was...out of line...I don't act like that usually."

"Save your sorry. Sorry don't change a thing."

(_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late_

_  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah)_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Claudia really thought he was about to kiss her for a moment there. His fingers were holding her arms, and his body was pressed tight to hers and his lips were just a hair's breath away. All she could think was she had to get him so upset that he wouldn't dare kiss her...cause if he did...she just might kiss him back.

_  
(I'm holding on your rope  
Got me ten feet off_

_the ground_...) (One Republic and Timberland)

She might even take him back into her bed, knowing how he could break her so easily- without even trying to. Claudia had never been a weak woman but Jason somehow broke through her every defense and let her a quivering mess- longing for his caresses and his love and his hand in hers. Fucking ridiculous. She was not about to go there again.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Day Two**

"_What are you doing here?" Claudia asked._

_She wore a smirk as she looked down at Jason, who sat in a too small to be comfortable chair in her hotel lobby,_

_That morning she sent him off with the words _Well, it was a blast. But I don't do good-bye kisses so later.

_She came back to her hotel, where she was staying to conduct business before she headed back to Milan in two weeks, and found him waiting for her. She had planned to never see him again but she couldn't say she was upset he had sought her out._

_His only reason why turned out to be "Don't know anyone else in Rome. Feel like getting a drink?"_

_They ended up in the hotel bar. Every guy in there looked at Claudia as she walked in, and Jason put his arm around her waist, tugging her against his side before they found a private booth in the back. _

_After ordering their drinks, Claudia asked him "So you missed me? Isn't that adorable? You aren't the first though. Just so you know, I don't do repeat performances."_

"_Should I be making a list?"_

"_Very funny. So what that there is a lot of things I don't do. I'm a woman who knows what she wants and knows what works for her. What kind of man are you?"_

"_I thought you don't do small talk."_

"_Should we sit here and stare at each other for a few hours instead?" She took a drink of her bourbon and made a face. "This isn't my brand. I told that fucking bartender on my first night here that I want Hirsch Reserve 16 and nothing else. Excuse me, I've got to have a talking to with him."_

"_Hold up. I'll handle it."_

"_I take care of my own problems."_

"_Sit down."_

"_Don't tell me what to do."_

"_You don't have to make a scene to get what you want."_

"_I like making a scene."_

_A small smile curved over Jason's lips. That smile could calm Claudia down in an instant. She said "Fine. You go get me my bourbon and bring back the bottle. Its gonna cost you though."_

"_Don't worry about it."_

_She liked a man who had money, carried a gun, and could go toe to toe with her without backing down. If she ever wanted to find a man to actually fall for...Jason wouldn't be a half bad option. But she didn't want that. She never wanted to fall in love with anyone._

_When he sat back down with the bottle and two more glasses, she said "I hope you paid cash. Wives check credit card receipts."_

"_Is that your way of asking if I'm married?"_

"_Must you always be so blunt? Geez, man."_

_He just stared at her for his answer._

_She said "Fine! Are you married? Not that it makes much different. What the little woman at home don't know...right?"_

"_I'm not married. And I'm not ever gonna be married. What about you?"_

"_Would it break your heart if I said yes?"_

"_No. I barely know you."_

"_Would you still want to screw me again if I said yes?"_

"_How long does this game go on?"_

"_Would you shoot my husband if I said yes so you could have me all for yourself?"_

"_Where did that come from?"_

"_You have a gun."_

"_So do you. I don't just shoot random people. Do you?" Jason asked._

"_Aren't you even a little curious why I have a gun?"_

"_For protection. A single woman alone..."_

"_So you do think I'm single? Well I'm not. I'm married to a bruiser named Franco."_

_Jason's eyes searched hers. "You're lying."_

"_For a minute there you thought I was telling the truth and you were upset. Admit it." She smiled at him._

_He poured them both shots. "Have your drink, Antonia. Then I'm taking you up to bed."_

"_I told you I don't do repeat performances."_

"_You do now." _

_Being forceful, damn, she couldn't resist that if she tried._

Next Chapter: Jason shocks himself and Claudia will his actions.


	75. jaudia, part six

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Six**

**Port Charles**

**November 4th, 2007**

Holding Claudia by both arms, with her body jerked against his in the back seat of her SUV, Jason told her "..You know why I have to protect my family, at all costs. Even if that cost...is you." He leaned close to her, so much so that his lips nearly touched hers. "Now I want an answer...who told you about Jake?"

"You don't scare me."

Jason let go of her and scooted away from her. He took in and out some deep breaths. He knew she was making him crazy, but until those words he didn't realize how out of control he really could become because of her.

"I'm sorry for grabbing you. That was...out of line...I don't act like that usually."

"Save your sorry. Sorry don't change a thing."

He turned to look at her again. "The last thing I ever wanted to do was leave you hating me."

"I would have to give a damn about you to hate you. And I just don't. Not anymore. You didn't hurt me by holding my arms. So forget about that. But I don't accept your apology for the past. So stop trying to play on what we shared to soften me up. Cause it won't work."

"Fine. You don't want to forgive me. I can't force you into it. But we still got business to work out. I need to know how you found out about my son. If you refuse to tell me...then there will be no truce between our families and you will get what you seem to want so damn bad...you'll become my enemy."

"I am your enemy. You just have a problem accepting it. What? You need every woman you ever fuck to carry a torch for you for years? That why you still put flowers on the grave of that blonde? You have your little weekends every few years with Brenda. You put your ass in the middle of every marriage Carly has and make sure you're sleeping on her couch every time her husband is out of town. Well I'm not one of those devotees to the Cult of Morgan. I don't need you to still have fond thoughts about me cause I don't have any about you."

"You've been having me watched?"

"Its called surveillance. Don't think you're special. I do it for all the rival families. And that...Jason...is how I knew about you being Jake's father. You talked about it constantly at that look out bluff over the city and never once did you check it for a bug. What did you think? Only your house and office can be bugged?"

"Who have you told?"

She broke eye contact with him.

"Look at me, Claudia."

"Fuck off."

He raised his hand and placed it under her chin, turning her head so that she had to look in his eyes. "Who did you tell about Jake?"

She only stared him down.

"WHO?!"

She whispered "Do you really think I would do that to you?"

XXXXXXXXXXX

She was mere inches away from him, staring into his blue eyes that she saw in her dreams for years and years after they were together, and she just couldn't take a second more of arguing with him. She hated him. But...that wasn't all she felt for him.

She could still remember when she wanted to love him. The only man on earth she ever given her heart to. And to him she was just one of many.

It twisted her soul up and made her even colder than she was before she met him. Back then she was hurt and bitter, now she was filled to the brim with a heartache that she had let morph into a pulse pounding rage.

Jason whispered, as he still kept his hand holding her face and forcing her to look at him, "You didn't tell anyone?"

"He's your baby boy. I wouldn't put him at risk that way."

As soon as she got the last syllable out, Jason's lips crashed down on hers. Her heart nearly lept from her chest, trying to commit some kind of crazy suicide and fall right back into his hands. She couldn't be so foolish over him again. Claudia stiffened, not giving into the kiss, as tears came to her eyes.

She pushed him away and said "I'm not your Italian whore anymore."

"I never thought of you as that and you should know that much...even if you won't believe anything else."

"Do not try and kiss me again or I'll put a bullet in you."

"You don't want me to? Fine! I won't kiss you again then."

"Good! Make sure you don't!"

"Antonia..."

"My God, what is your problem? Why do you insist on calling me that, on bringing up the past, on trying to hold me and kiss me and pretend like this is seven years ago. You want fantasy land. Go find the nurse!"

His jaw sets in a firm, angry line. He takes in and out a breath "Lets settle what happened...then we could work together a lot more calmly. Cause this...this is not gonna work out...we're both letting our emotions mess up our heads."

"And they call you Stone Cold. Behave that way and we won't have an issue."

"The past can be the past then. I won't bring it up again and...I get that you don't want to start anything up with me now either."

"For all you know, I could be married."

"You aren't the only one who does research. I know you never got married or had any kids."

"I could have ran off and got secretly hitched. You don't know."

Jason chuckled, as he remembered there long ago conversation about her having a husband- and that time he was just a made-up as this time."What's his name? Franco?"

Claudia worked hard to keep from smiling as he kept chuckling. She pushed his shoulder, gently, and softly said "I hate you, Jason."

He whispered, in a low and almost tender tone, "I know you do."

After a long moment he added "Night, Anton..._Claudia._...You keep the truce and we won't have any problems with each other."

Jason climbed out of the SUV and headed over to his motorcycle.

XXXXXXXXXX

Claudia slumped back against the seat, as her driver and bodygaurds climbed into the vehicle. She touched her lips

"Ms. Zacchara, everything okay?"

"Fine. Take me home."

_You did the right thing, _she told herself. _You did the only thing you could. He's the one man you can't dare treat like a casual fuck. It just don't work. It didn't the first time and it wouldn't now._

XXXXXX

Day Two

_She loved the way he kissed. Claudia could kiss him a million times and never get sick of it. Never before had she found a man she enjoyed kissing as much as she did Jason. _

Thank God he's an American_, she thought, _and will have to head back to the States eventually cause if he lived here I would be in real trouble.

_Her nude body lay curled against his after they had sex again. He ran his fingers through her hair. Suddenly his movements stilled and his eyes clouded._

"_Who is she?"_

"_What?"_

"_You do this thing, Jason. You look like your remembering something...someone...I just wondered who the third person in this bed is?"_

"_Does it matter to you?"_

"_Not really, I guess. Unless...do you want to talk about it?"_

"_You don't talk to guys you fuck. Your rules."_

"_You make me want to break all my rules."_

_He stared at her for a long moment and then sat up, facing away from her, and placed his feet on the ground._

_Claudia's eyes moved to his bare back, as she let out a shaky breath. _

Why did I say that? I'm not about to break any rules for some two night stand,_ she told herself. _

"_Antonia..."_

"_Hey, I was just joking, Jason."_

"_Its just...making up rules when it comes to relationships. That don't work. I tried it before and learned the hard way. You always end up wanting to break the rules and go for more...or one of the people does and the other doesn't...it just makes everything that was supposed to be easy, harder. So...lets not have any rules. Cause...I can't offer you anything." He said all that still looking away from her, talking into the darkness of the hotel room._

_She sat up and put her arms around him, from behind. She laid her head on him. "You got really lucky and you don't even know it. I'm the one woman in Rome not looking to fall in love."_

"_If I confused you by coming back today, I'm sorry."_

"_You didn't. I know this isn't heading anywhere. But...I'm gonna make you an offer anyway." She moved back and he turned around to look at her. "How about me and you spend whatever time we're both in Rome...not dating?"_

"_Not dating?"_

"_Well, you know, we could go places together and share meals and screw around...but it wouldn't be dating."_

_He chuckled. "What would it be?"_

"_It'd be Antonia and Jason, that's all. No labels and no expectations. I think I could put up with you a while longer. How long will you be in Rome, anyway? Another few days?"_

"_It could be a lot longer than that. I have no real timetable for going home yet."_

_Her eyes widened._

_He asked "Is that a problem for you?"_

"_Well...I'm a very busy business woman and I can't really get involved in a thing. And since you don't want a thing I just thought maybe we could have some vacation fling fun. I'm going to be in town twelve more days only then I head back home on the train."_

"_Where's home?"_

"_I'd rather not say."_

"_So twelve days of...hanging out...and that's the end of..."_

"_Antonia and Jason...yep...if you want? If you don't well there are a lot of other attractive men around who would be glad to take your spot in my bed."_

_He pushed her back on the bed, and brought his mouth close to hers. "I think I'll keep my spot."_

Next Chapter: Flashback to one of their most romantic moments in Rome.


	76. jaudia, part seven

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Seven**

**November 4th, 2007**

Jason drove to Canada on his motorcycle, after leaving Claudia in her SUV. Images of their time together in Rome, of the last two days of seeing her, and of the horrible events at the Black and White Ball all kept flashing through his mind.

He hated how out of control Claudia made him feel. It was rare he got like that, only when all his emotions were on the line...when it felt like life or death hung in the balance...and this time with Claudia it did feel like that.

Seven years had changed a lot about him. He had learned to live without being Carly's man, or Michael's father...he had learned to settle for less and less and less until he settled for so little that he nearly had nothing left. He had chased Sam off. He had agreed to not claim Jake. He had encouraged Carly to marry Sonny another freaking time earlier in the year to protect Sonny from prison...and the guilt of that still ate away at him. And now he had been so lax in protecting his family that Leticia and Emily were dead. He had made a mess of his life.

He had nothing to offer Claudia now, just like he had nothing to offer her back then.

Logically, he knew they shouldn't start sleeping together again. But logic went out the window when she got close to him. Then he wanted to touch her, to feel her skin under his fingers, to finally earn her forgiveness, to kiss her lips till the pain in her eyes disappeared.

He missed her when he left Rome...but not as much as he would have if he was still not so caught up in Carly. And that was the sin Claudia would never forgive.

Jason didn't blame her one bit.

Cause no matter how many times he apologized he couldn't change the fact that he had been having sex with Claudia while in love with Carly. And for all the times Claudia said she didn't give a damn...as soon as she found out that...she hated his guts.

_I should just let the past go_, Jason told him as he rode along on his motorcycle, _but every time I look at her...I see Antonia...I see the woman that made me smile back then...that I couldn't love...and I know I'm no better at love now...but I just want to make it right still._

He would have liked nothing more than to just be unaffected by Claudia being in town now. But he couldn't manage to pull it off. She was stuck on his mind.

She always did have a way of making him think too much about her_._

_XXXXXXXXX_

_Day Three_

"_Do you have a penny on you?" Claudia asked Jason as they walked through the streets of Rome. "I didn't bring my purse and all I have is credit card shoved in my back pocket and my gun in my ankle holster and neither one can be tossed in a fountain ."_

"_Do you believe in that?"_

"_Well, I've never done it before. But you're a tourist and it's a tourist thing."_

_He just shook his head at that logic._

_They stood by the Trevi fountain. He placed a penny in her hand. She said "One for you too. I'm not into this bullshit. I'm doing this for you. For your Rome Experience."_

You're my Rome Experience_, he thought to himself. Just then memories floated through his mind :_

We can take Michael to Africa.

Where else would you like to go?

I'd go anywhere with you, Jase.

_He shook his head and ordered himself to just stop going there. He was standing next to a beautiful woman in a great city a half a world away from Carly and Sonny...his fucking best friend who slept with her...so he needed to just leave them out of this day. For his own sanity._

_Claudia said "Okay, you ready?"_

"_I guess."_

"_You don't have to make a wish or anything. All you do is toss it in and the legend goes that you will one day come back to visit Rome again. Ready?"_

"_Hold on." He walked behind her and wrapped one arm around her waist, then lifted her hand with his other hand. "On the count of three..."_

_Claudia smiled. "Look at you. Being all romantic. You want to come back to Rome, don't you? You're so addicted to me that you can't even stand it."_

_He said "One...two...three..." They tossed their coins at the same time and then Jason brought his lips down to hers in a kiss._

_All he wanted most was to keep forgetting...it didn't work for long periods of time, but for very short ones this woman was taking his mind off the past. He thanked God he had run into her. Even one moment of not hurting over Carly was now a treasure to him. He was surviving one moment at a time. And every second he thought about Claudia was a second he didn't have to think about the woman he would never get back again._

_XXXXXXX_

Claudia walked into the living room of her father's mansion. She spotted Johnny kissing some blonde on the couch, with her body pulled over his. Claudia nearly choked as bile rose in her throat, born of her worry for her brother.

He couldn't really believe in love, could he? Didn't he know better? It's the most life destroying thing she had ever experienced.

"Break it up, kids."

They broke apart. With the blonde looking oh so embarrassed. She actually blushed and hid her face against Johnny's shirt.

He said "Hey, sis."

"Who's your little friend?"

"This is Lulu Spencer. Lulu this is my sister Claudia. I told you she just moved back home, remember?"

"Sure! Hi! Sorry about this...I didn't realize you were staying here."

"Well it is my home, little girl. Would you like me to get a hotel so you can fuck my brother without any interruptions?"

"Claudia!"

"John. Tell her to leave. Now."

"Lulu...I'm sorry. Can we talk tomorrow? I'll have a gaurd take you home. Come on." He led her out, holding her hand, while she shot him confused looks.

When Johnny came back he told Claudia "Listen to me, I care about Lulu and I want her to feel comfortable here. I would also like you to get along with her. You didn't even give her one minutes to try and like her."

"Spencer. She's Carly's cousin. Luke's daughter. Lucky and Nikolas' sister. You're dating someone connected to half of fucking Port Charles."

"How do you know all that?"

"I keep very close track of Jason, Sonny and Carly. I knew the name Lulu from the files but I never thought to have her followed. My mistake. I should have taken one look at her and seen that you'd be hot for her."

"What is your problem with me dating?"

"Its not that, John. Date! You're a young guy you should be out there meeting lots of women. But don't get your heart involved. Don't bring them home here and tell them stories about how Daddy tortured us as kids and how he put a rose garden before me or you. Don't give away your heart cause you'll only get it back mangled."

"What ever made you so down on love?"

"Romantic love will ruin a person every time. To think otherwise is only fooling yourself. It ruined your mother and mine and..."

"You?"

"We're talking about you, Johnny, not me. I don't want Lulu leaving you wrecked. End things with her before she ends them with you."

"That's not going to happen. I'm in love with Lulu."

"Don't say that!"

"I'm not afraid of love, Claudia."

"I thought you were smarter than this."

"I'm smart enough to know that everyone needs love and if you think otherwise you are only lying to yourself." His voice softened. "I love you, sis, and I'm glad you're home but I have enough room in my heart to love both you and Lulu. You are actually...if you want to hear the truth...the only two people I love...so please don't ask me to choose between you. Because even if I picked you, we'd never be the same again. I'd always think of you as the person who cost me her."

"I can take your anger at me. I can take anything to protect you."

"You can't protect me from heartbreak. It's a normal part of life."

"Its not normal to hurt that bad! You just don't know. You don't have a clue what it feels like to have your insides torn out when the person who you love walks out of your life and doesn't even spare a glance back. Please...don't risk that."

"Who did that to you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"If you want us to be close, you have to be honest with me. Were you married before?"

"No. Never. I was in a long term relationship but he was a sleazy bodygaurd of Uncle Rudy's and he already had a wife."

"So you wanted him to leave her and he wouldn't? And that's why you feel this way about love?"

"I feel this way cause it's the truth. Falling in love is nothing but a sure way to make yourself suicidal. Cause you won't want to live after you've been so close to having it all and then its just gone."

"Did Uncle Rudy take care of that bodygaurd who hurt you?"

"It wasn't him that taught me my lesson...it was someone else. Someone you know. But, John, you can't go after him for it because it was a long time ago and I'm over it now."

"Tell me who it is."

She simply stared at him.

He leaned closer to her. "Tell me, Claudia."

She whispered "Jason Morgan."

"I'll kill that fucking bastard." Johnny headed for the door.

Claudia grabbed his arm. "No!"

"Leave go! No one hurts you and gets away with it. I don't care how long ago it was."

"You can't kill him for not loving me back. Believe me, I have thought about it and thought about it...and you can't kill someone for that. You can't even kill the woman he loved instead of you. Though it all sounds like a good idea when you're drunk on bourbon and thinking about how good revenge would feel...about how you haven't smiled in months and he's probably somewhere smiling with her...about how you never felt that much for anyone before him or after. Yeah, murder sounds good on a night like that but its not smart business sense to be killing mob rivals over some

love gone wrong type of bullshit."

Johnny cupped her face with his hands. "I'm so sorry that he broke your heart."

"Its my own damn fault. I wasn't supposed to ever fall in love with him."

_Next Chapter: Dancing and attempted murder. Only in a Jaudia fic, could they both happen in the same chapter._


	77. jaudia, part eight

**Note- Though Emily and Leticia were killed, it was not by Diego, as far as this story is concerned. I do not want Jason searching for the killer till Feb, per Gh canon.**

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Eight**

**Crimson Point**

**November 11th, 2007**

Claudia figured there was one sure way to not have to deal with Jason Morgan. She would stay the hell out of Port Charles. She had big plans for her organization but she could make those plans take place in Crimson Point and Rochester just as easily as that backwater city Jason lived in.

She spent her week contacting associates and setting up new shipping routes for the illegal prescription drugs she planned to start putting out on the street. She hired an old friend from boarding school to be her lawyer, Trey Kenyon, and he moved to Port Charles and took a suite at The Metro Court. His morals were less than stellar but once he was loyal to a person he would fight to the death to protect them. She really liked that about him.

Claudia was able to spend hours talking to John and growing closer with him.

Things were starting to click into place in her life. The only nagging problem was that she just couldn't forget that Jason was no longer on the other side of the planet from her. He was just one town away.

Close enough to see anytime she wanted. It ticked her off that she still wanted to.

XXXXXXXXXX

Day Four

_Happy. He sort of made her happy...as strange of an emotion as that was for Claudia Antonia Zacchara to fathom. This angry, bitter, sad man who she picked up in a bar...who was just supposed to be like every other guy she picked up before him...could make her smile. It amazed her._

_He could be so stoic and then give her the strangest look, like he couldn't believe her but he accepted her no matter what. He was just easy to be with and he didn't make her scared of liking him too much for her own good. Every other man did that._

_She knew she couldn't fall in love with him and she wouldn't. But for the first time ever Claudia really enjoyed spending time getting to know a man...not just screwing him and hurrying out of bed before he even caught his breath...but actually talking to him and becoming his friend._

_They sat at a outdoor café. She lifted her fork toward him. "Seriously. Try this. Its delicious."_

"_There's no way in hell."_

"_Its called Pulpo."_

"_Antonia, I'm looking right at it. Its octopus."_

"_Its good. Don't you trust me?"_

"_As much as I can for someone I haven't known a week. But I'm still not eating that."_

_She stood up and walked around the table, plopping in his lap. She wrapped her arm around his neck. "You mark my words. You are gonna go home and regret not having the full Rome Experience."_

"_I'm good. You drug me around to museums and crap like that all day. I've had my experience and then some."_

"_You know what we haven't done? Gone dancing. Lets hit a club."_

"_I would rather you shoot me in the leg."_

"_Uncle Rudy taught me to aim for the chest. Its the biggest target."_

"_Uncle Rudy? Is that who bought you your gun?"_

_Claudia looked away._

"_Forget it," Jason said "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."_

"_If I tell you about Uncle Rudy, will you tell me something about you that I don't know? But it has to be something big, Jason. Something you don't like talking about...or else forget it."_

"_All right. Deal."_

_She stuck out her hand. They shook on it. Then she gave him a quick kiss. "I think for us...that seals the deal much more firmly."_

_Claudia went back to her own seat. "I had to go live with my Uncle Rudy when I was sixteen because my father threw me out on the street. He basically disowned me. He called me a slut, whore, tramp, good for nothing waste. He called my mother all those things too before he drove her insane. My parents were the worst example of marriage you ever wanted to see... I decided when I was six years old I would never fall in love or get married. And I still feel that way today. My father used to tell me bed time stories and they never ended in And They All Lived Happily Ever After...they ended in blood."_

"_Then its lucky you got away from him when you did."_

"_It didn't feel lucky at the time but in a way you're right. Cause I would have shot him dead if I stayed in that house much longer. So what about you? What's the thing you don't like to think about from your past?"_

_After a long moment he said "My past starts not even five years ago. Before that...people tell me I was a very different man than I am now."_

"_People tell you?"_

"_I lost my memory for everything before then. I was in a car accident. A.J...um, my brother,...he was drunk and drove us into a tree. They say I got in the car cause I wanted to save him from himself...I guess I always tried to do that...but it didn't work. And now I really can't hardly stand to look at the guy."_

"_Because he cost you your memories?"_

"_No. I don't mind not being that guy I was before. I can't remember him so I didn't really lose him...other people lost him...but I found me and the accident let me start over as just who I picked."_

"_So you forgive your brother for what he did? I know I'd forgive mine in a heartbeat."_

"_I can't forgive what he did later. He still drinks and he hurts people in ways that ruin lives. He's a danger to everyone around him."_

"_I can't imagine feeling that way about my brother. He's only a teenager right now and I haven't seen him in a while but still...I don't love anyone more than him."_

"_Do you think you'll get to see him soon?"_

"_I doubt it." She pushed her plate away. "Lets pay the bill and go dancing."_

"_I don't like to dance. And there's no way I'm going to a club."_

"_Fine. I know somewhere else we can go to dance that's better than my hotel room. But we have to go for a drive to get there."_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Jasonspent his week since he last so Claudia frantically searching for his sister's killer and trying not to think about Rome. It was ironic that when he was in Rome, he had tried not to think of Port Charles.

Even though he did have good times with Claudia in that whirlwind nine days they knew each other when they first met, it was clear she didn't want to return to having an affair with him. He had to respect her feelings. He knew his life was too much of a mess to even think about dating anyway.

Still he missed her now. He had gotten to look at her again, touch her, kiss her...and he wanted to do that all again.

XXXXXXXXXX

Day Four

_They ended up at a villa her uncle owned. Claudia found a CD player and then picked out a CD from her Uncle's collection. He vacationed at the villa several times a year. She took Jason's hand and led him out to the balcony. It overlooked the Gulf of Naples._

_Claudia smiled at him. "I've never brought anyone here before."_

"_Is it a special place to you?"_

"_Now it is." She brought her lips to his and kissed him passionately. She pulled away wearing a smile. Claudia walked over to the CD player and started it. "Uncle Rudy is really old school...so deal with it."_

_Jason chuckled. "We don't have to dance."_

"_We didn't drive all this way not to!"_

_He took her into his arms as Ella Fitzgerald sang_

You must remember this  
A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh  
The fundamental things apply  
As time goes by

And when two lovers woo  
They still say, "I love you"  
on that you can rely

No matter what the future brings  
As time goes by

Moonlight and love songs  
Never out of date  
Hearts full of passion  
Jealousy and hate

Woman needs man  
And man must have his mate  
That no one can deny

_Jason lifted her up, so that her head was above his, but her body was pressed to his. She put her hands on his shoulders and then he slowly slid her down and their mouths connected._

Well, it's still the same old story  
A fight for love and glory  
A case of do or die

The world will always welcome lovers  
As time goes by

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers  
As time goes by

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Claudia had just hung up her cell phone when the lights in the den all went out. She reached for her gun and got her fingers around it when suddenly a cord was wrapped around her neck. The person pulled it taunt, cutting into her flesh.

She elbowed him hard in the ribs and he groaned, loosening the tension on her neck, Claudia was able to toss the man onto the ground. She gasped for breath as she brought her gun up to point in his direction.

The lights flicked back on, from the generator, that the killer must have forgotten to disable. She didn't want witnesses so she didn't call for her gaurds.

She looked at the man laying on her floor. "Take the mask off."

He sat up and started to get on his feet.

"Stay down or you're dead. Now take off that mask or I'll shoot you in the head and take it off myself."

He slowly pulled off the mask.

_Next Chapter: In Rome, the truth about Claudia's identity comes out._


	78. jaudia, part nine

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Nine**

**Crimson Point**

**November 11th, 2007**

Claudia held a gun on a man in her den. He had just tried to strangle her.

She looked at the man laying on her floor. "Take the mask off."

He sat up and started to get on his feet.

"Stay down or you're dead," she told him.

He stopped moving.

"Now take off that mask or I'll shoot you in the head and take it off myself."

He slowly pulled off the mask.

"Trevors, you fucking murdering bastard."

"I only did what your father didn't have the capacity to do for this family anymore. I handled business. Corinthos and Morgan are running around like chickens with their heads cut off because that nanny and that wanna be, bitch princess are dead. I protected this family, like I always do. You should thank me."

"You just tried to kill me. You're gonna have to forget about getting a thank you from me."

"You're the biggest threat to this family that there is. You'll ruin all your father spent his life building. I can't allow that." Trevor started to stand up again.

"DOWN! I don't give warning shots." She walked around the desk and grabbed her cell phone. She called Jason, as she had put the number for the coffee shop in her phone, along with the one for General Hospital and The Metro Court, key places around Port Charles she knew she would eventually be dealing with. "Is Mr. Morgan in? Tell him Claudia Zacchara is on the line."

When Jason answered he sounded out of breath, like he ran to the phone."Hey...what's going on?"

"I'm standing in my den and looking at your sister's killer right now."

Trevor jumped up and tackled her. The gun went off. She heard Jason yell her middle name.

XXXXXXX

"ANTONIA!" Jason dropped his phone and took off running, out of the coffee shop and onto his motorcycle. He sped to the Zacchara estate.

He went straight to the back fence and over it but got caught by Claudia's new gaurds, who were not nearly as dim witted as Anthony's had been. They drug him inside to the gaurd house and called Claudia.

Jason could barely breath as he tried to hear her part of the conversation and tell if she was hurt, but he couldn't. He knew that even if she was shot, she might not call for an ambulance. In their business, the less you deal with cops, the better and every gun shot wound is reported to the cops.

One of them told Jason "You can meet her in the den."

Jason jogged all the way there, still fearing she was shot. He found the door locked and kicked it down, while calling out her name.

Claudia asked "You ever hear of knocking?"

His eyes were frantic with worry for her. He looked her up and down, and saw she was unhurt. His gaze moved from her to the body on the floor.

Claudia added "He's dead."

Jason looked down at Trevor for a second and then turned to Claudia. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" He noticed a thick red mark on her neck and gently touched it. "He did this?"

"That crazy bastard tried to kill me."

"I'm taking you to the hospital. Come on."

"I feel fine. Don't you remember how tough I am? I survived you, didn't I?"

Jason pinched his nose. "FUCK! I can't believe I let this happen."

"Hey...you couldn't have known it was Trevor."

"It was my job to protect-"

"Do not say me. Cause its not. I protect myself."

He looked down at the body. "How many holes did you put in him?"

"I might have gotten a little carried away. We had a bad history."

"The cops will never buy this as self defense. I count six bullet wounds. You emptied your clip into him."

"He slept with me when I was fifteen. He's lucky I didn't go get another gun and put six more holes in him."

"What a fucking piece of shit this guy was. He killed my sister!"

"And I killed him and the world is a much better place now."

He stared at her for a long moment then looked away. "I'll deal with his body."

"I'll help you. It's a two person job."

"I'll be fine."

"I do this stuff all the time. You aren't the only one who knows how to make someone disappear."

"You shouldn't have to do this. Get some of your men."

"They're loyal but...no."

"You don't trust your own men? Then get rid of them."

"I trust them to not rat on me," she said "I just don't trust them to not rat out you."

"Now you care if I go to prison?"

Claudia shook her head and worked hard to not smile at him. "Look at you...just look at you."

"What?" He couldn't help but enjoy the fact that she was looking at him with her eyes all lit up now, instead of filled with rage.

Her voice was light when she teased him "You are hitting on me while standing over a dead body, Jason. That's just...so you."

"I wasn't hitting on you."

"Then you lie about it too." She smiled. "You want to carry the feet or the head?"

"Lets roll him up in the carpet first."

"I was thinking I'd go to the garage and get plastic."

"Someone might see you doing that."

"True. Carpet it is then. Daddy will have to go without his hand woven Oriental rug. Crazy old fool probably talks to it anyway and calls it Maria."

XXXXXXXXX

Day Seven

_Claudia and Jason ended up spending two days at Uncle Rudy's villa. Most of it in bed, but some of it swimming and some of it renting a motorcycle to take out on long rides. Though Claudia was not the type to wish for a different life-she enjoyed learning the family business from her uncle and wouldn't want to trade that lifestyle in to be a house wife-she couldn't help thinking that if she was a different sort of woman, a more average woman, she would tell Jason they should elope tonight._

_Because she wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life like she spent the last week._

_Maybe it was just that she had never met a good man before, never had a decent relationship, never let down her gaurd ...but Jason made her feel so much lighter than she was before she met him. Claudia knew she would have to give him up in five days, and she was prepared to do that, it just seemed like a damn shame now that she had met the one guy who would be right for her...if she believed in love._

_They were driving home from the shore in her sports car, with him at the wheel, when she glanced in the rearview mirror and asked "You ever been involved in a high speed chase before?" She took her gun out of her purse._

"_A few."_

"_You out run them?"_

"_Every time." Jason pulled a sharp left down a side street, stomping down on the gas. _

_Claudia looked out the back window. "You gonna ask who's tailing us before you start taking evasive measures or what?"_

"_I spotted that Black Hummer with tinted windows thirty minutes ago. I was waiting till we got out of traffic. Didn't want to worry you."_

_He skidded into an alley and raced down it. At the end he took right and got back on a busy street. The Hummer followed behind, about a half of block. _

_Claudia said "They're probably associates of my uncle."_

"_Or they could be after me."_

"_You? What kind of business are you in, Jason?"_

_He changed lanes to avoid ramming into a bus and then ran a light that was just turning red. "You saw the gun."_

"_All Americans carry guns. They love guns."_

"_What? That's not true at all."_

"_Everyone I know does."_

"_Duck, Antonia."_

_She did, just as a bullet shattered the back windshield. "Okay, truth time, Morgan. International jewel thief? Bank robber? Arms dealer?"_

"_Not now. We're getting shot at."_

_Claudia rolled down her window and stuck half her body out. She shot back toward the Hummer, taking out the front passenger tire with one shot. _

"_Antonia, get your ass in here!"_

_She slid back into her seat, as the Hummer crashed into a garbage truck behind them. "First shot. Top that, Morgan."_

"_Good job."_

_She smiled at him. They drove three more blocks. He stopped at a red light. She pulled him into a kiss. Horns honked, when the light turned green, and they broke apart._

_Jason said "We shouldn't go back to the hotel. You know a place?"_

_She gave him directions to her Uncle's compound. It was hours away from Rome. Finally she asked "You gonna answer me or what? Why would guys be trying to kill you?"_

"_Why would they try and kill your uncle?"_

"_He's the head of a Camorra clan. Have you ever heard of that?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_You're not about to tell me your in mafia, are you?"_

_He just gave her a look._

_Claudia said "We're not gonna mention that to Uncle Rudy."_

_Hearing about what he did for a living, just confirmed the feeling that was growing in her every day. Jason Morgan was her equal in every way. While most men she got involved with were just good for sex, and useless to her otherwise, Jason fit in all the parts of her life. She just never thought meeting a man like him was possible. _

_She didn't think they made men like him. And she didn't think one like him would ever show up in her life._

How am I gonna let him go? _she asked herself._

_Never before had that been a problem. But never before had she been with Jason._

"_Jason...there's something else I gotta tell you before we get to Milan."_

"_You're married to Franco?"_

"_No. But my name isn't Antonia Bruno...Its Claudia Antonia Zacchara."_

_Jason pulled the car over to the curb and parked. He gave her a hard look. "Did you know who I was that night in the bar?"_

"_No. Should I know you?"_

"_I work for Sonny Corinthos in Port Charles, New York."_

_From that moment on, Claudia always did her research._

Next Chapter: Can burying a body together actually lead to them reconnecting?


	79. jaudia, part ten

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Ten**

**Crimson Point**

**November 11th, 2007**

Four hours later, around one in the morning, they were finally done getting rid of Trevor's body and ended up back at Crimson Point. Claudia went upstairs and changed her clothes. She brought them down and they threw them in the fire.

She poured herself a bourbon. "Want one?"

"No."

"You still only drink beer?"

"Yeah...basically."

"You would have think that being married to Brenda Barrett would have given you a taste for champagne."

"Yeah well we agreed to disagree about a lot of things when we were married."

"A rocky relationship?"

He chuckled. "At times but not like you think. It was a marriage of convenience."

"You married a beautiful supermodel for what? So she could get her green card? Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"It was complicated and years ago. The reasons don't make a difference now."

"It was two years after you left me. Two years after you couldn't love me...not that I care and not that it matters anymore."

But it did matter to Jason...because ever since Claudia moved back home...all he could do is think about how badly he needed a second chance with her. He knew there is no going back. But he didn't get why she refused to go forward. He also didn't get why he cared so damn bad. Why he now missed her when they were apart, after spending about five years not thinking about her too often at all. Now all he does is think of her and Italy and all they found and lost there, together.

(_I miss the sound of your voice  
I miss the rush of your skin _

_I miss the still of the silence  
as you breathe out and I breathe in_

If I could walk on water  
If I could tell you what's next 

_  
make you believe  
make you forget_

_Come on get higher  
loosen my lips  
faith and desire  
and the swing of your hips _

_  
Just pull me down hard  
and drown me in love_

Come on get higher  
loosen my lips  
faith and desire  
and the swing of your hips 

_  
Just pull me down hard _

_and drown me in love _

__

I miss the sound of your voice  
the loudest thing in my head  
and I ache to remember  
all the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said ) ( Matt Nathanson)  


XXXXXXXX

Day Seven

_After being involved in a high speed chase and a shoot out Jason figured it wasn't safe to go back to Claudia's hotel, because what was to stop more gunman from kicking down the door and executing them while they lay in bed exhausted from sex._

_And if he was in bed with that chick, that is how he would be for sure._

_But as soon as she started to tell him about her family's business, he started to get a bad feeling in his gut that she was not just some average stranger after all._

_A few minutes later she said "...My name isn't Antonia Bruno...Its Claudia Antonia Zacchara."_

_Jason pulled the car over to the curb and parked. He gave her a hard look. "Did you know who I was that night in the bar?"_

"_No. Should I know you?"_

"_I work for Sonny Corinthos in Port Charles, New York."_

"_Did you know all this time who I was?! You've heard of the Zaccharas. You must have. Don't you dare lie to me, Morgan."_

"_I've heard of Anthony Zacchara, yeah. But I don't know the face of everyone in his family...especially distant relatives from Italy."_

"_I'm not all that distant. I'm his daughter."_

"_That's the bastard that threw you out on the streets?"_

"_The one and only- my Daddy."_

_He stared in her eyes for a long moment and decided she hadn't been trying to play him, trying to get close to him only for business reasons, and they just happened to be involved in the same business. Jason usually didn't believe in coincidences but that didn't stop them from happening to him. _

"_Why did you lie about your name?" he asked._

"_I should tell a one night stand my real name?"_

"_This has gone a lot further than one night now."_

"_And now I told you. Don't complain."_

_He just shook his head at her. "I'm gonna drop you off at your Uncle's."_

"_So that's it? This is over? Not that I care."_

"_If these guys are coming after me, I won't have them coming after you too."_

"_That's why we are going to Uncle Rudy's compound. The hundred gaurds he has will keep them out. You have no where else to go until the heat dies down anyway, so you might as well hang out with me a few more days."_

"_I should leave Italy."_

"_When its safe to travel, you will. Its not like I want you around forever."_

"_Even if I wanted to stay...I couldn't. I don't know when I'm going back to Port Charles but I have to at some point."_

"_I never said I wanted you to stay. I'm just giving you a way to not get your head blown off before you can get back on a plane and out of here."_

"_Thank you for that, Antonia."_

"_Its Claudia, remember?"_

"_I don't think I can get used to that."_

"_Well, we'll tell Uncle Rudy you're an old friend from boarding school. They called me Toni back then. I couldn't very well tell the world I was the daughter of a lunatic mob boss, now could I? Who would ask a girl like that to Prom?" She chuckled._

_Jason knew there time together was just about over._

_He wouldn't mind keeping this thing going, as long as it was casual cause he would never, never fall in love again- he believed at that point in his life. But he couldn't stay in Italy, his life...the broken pieces of it...were not in Italy...they were back in Port Charles still. He couldn't stay away from Carly forever._

XXXXXXXXX

Claudia downed her bourbon. "Burying bodies always makes me feel maudlin. I get to thinking about life and death and choices...here today, gone tomorrow. Never count on anything, Jason. It's the best way to get by."

Jason placed his hands on her arms and looked down into her eyes. "Did I do all this to you? Did I make you like this?"

"No." Her eyes darted back and forth.

"I never wanted to make you...bitter. You helped me and I left you feeling abandoned."

"It was never meant to be serious. All you did was keep your word. You said you couldn't offer me anything. I should have believed you."

"But I became the man you regret most, didn't I?"

"Go home, Jason. I don't want to do this with you."

He let go of her and headed for the door. Claudia started to shake slightly, feeling the exact same way she did when he walked out on her seven years back. As soon as he left the room she poured herself another drink and downed it.

XXXXXXXX

**Day Nine**

**August 24****th****, 2000**

_The way Claudia found out just how much she didn't want to lose Jason from her life was when his cell phone rang and she realized he was talking to someone from back home._

_They were in her bedroom at her Uncle Rudy's estate in Milan. She was laying in bed, dressed in just a sheer nightie and he had boxers on. Moments earlier they had been kissing. It was early morning and they were just lazing around in bed when he got the call._

_Her heart did something she didn't expect. It sped up so fast, with worry and fear, it was worse than if someone had a gun pointed at her head. All she could think, over and over, was_ He's not leaving me, he's not leaving me, he's not leaving me.

_The fact that she was never supposed to love anyone went out the window. Fuck that. She did love him. She loved every moment she spent with him. She wanted more moments...he was the first man to ever make her happy. How was she supposed to stay happy if he went away? How could he do this to her? Trick her this way. Let her know this- this thing called love that she thought was an illusion-existed and that it could be hers and then yank it away. He couldn't do that to her. He wouldn't._

_She watched him talk on the phone and saw his face change from happiness (when he said "Johnny...yeah, man, hi) to worry ( You never called before. What happened?) to pain (She doesn't need me anymore. You're wrong)._

_By the time he hung up Claudia knew her little foray into love was just about over, but she couldn't let him just walk out on her without fighting for him._

_He set the cell phone down on the side table and then stared straight ahead, his face became as closed off as the night she first saw him in the bar. The bitter, angry, sad man was back now._

"_Bad news?" she asked._

_Her heart still raced, her breathing was shallow, and her skin flushed, but she tried to play it cool._

"_Yeah...I don't know details but someone back home...she's going through a rough time and...I got to go back."_

"_You have to? No, I think you want to, Jason."_

_He eyes jerked to the side, meeting hers. His were filled with confusion, as if he couldn't see what the difference was. Either way, he was going. Wanted to. Had to. It all meant to same to him._

_But not to her._

_Then he said the words that would haunt her forever. "Its only a few days early...from our twelve days. We only had three days left anyway."_

Damn him_, she thought as tears came to her eyes. _

_Claudia wanted to prove she meant something to this stoic man, so she brought her lips to his in an intensely passionate kiss but he broke it...almost as if he was cheating on someone and couldn't kiss her now. The tears rolled down her cheeks then. She looked away and swiped at them quickly, knowing it was too late and he had already seen them._

_Jason said "Thank you for everything. But I have to pack and get the red eye out tonight. I'll take a cab to the airport. Don't worry about giving me a ride."_

_Then he climbed out of bed. Claudia jumped up and planted herself in front of him, between him and the dresser. "Who is this bitch you're leaving me for?"_

"_Don't do this, Antonia." He knew her real name but he never used it._

"_Are you in love with her? This bitch who you got to run back to right this fucking second."_

"_Do not call her that again."_

"_Or what? You'll leave me. You already are."_

"_You knew our time was limited from the start."_

"_Nothing is the same as then and you damn well know it! You know it, Jason. You know you'd rather stay here then go back to Port Charles. Every time you so much as think of there your eyes fill with anguish. Fuck Port Charles. Fuck that bitch. You don't need her...you left her once...you're here...stay here."_

"_That's not an option for me. I made promises...and I broke them...and if I don't go back...then I won't be any good to you or myself or anyone ever again."_

_Claudia started to beat his chest. "You fucking bastard! Why didn't you tell me you love her? Why? WHY?"_

_Jason let her hit him until she was sobbing and then pulled her into his arms. After a long moment of holding her, he cupped her face and gave her one last soulful kiss._

_When they broke apart, they stared into each other eyes, her were teary and broken, his cold and resigned. She whispered "Okay, you got me. You broke Claudia Antonia Zacchara...that what you need me to say?"_

"_No."_

"_Cause you did. You broke me. All the walls and all the lies and all the_ I'll never this or that_...that's over, Jason. Don't you get that? Don't you care?"_

"_Maybe I can come back...later...I don't know..."_

"_No! If you go home to her we're done for good."_

_Jason looked down at the ground._

_Claudia grabbed his face and forced him to look in her eyes. "I'm asking you to stay. You are my only chance...my only chance at love...ever. Stay with me, Jason."_

"_I can't."_

_And with those two words, the last pieces of her heart that held any hope at all in them turned black. She vowed to never believe in love again._

**Note**- On August 25, 2000 Jason Morgan showed up at Sonny's door. Carly opened it and they were able to talk for the first time since he left town, according to GH canon history. He left town again about six weeks later.


	80. jaudia, part eleven

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Eleven**

**Port Charles**

**November 12th, 2007**

Jason woke up and the first person on his mind was Claudia. He couldn't stop thinking about the look in her eye the night before when they were talking about their time together in Italy. It was the same look she had on the day he left her in August of 2000.

He decided he had to make things right with her. To make her as whole as the day he met her in that bar in Rome. He picked up the phone and made a call that he thought might be the first step. He didn't let himself think about what he was doing for too long...it just felt like the thing to do, so he did.

But when he heard a pounding on his door a few hours later, he realized he might have been very wrong.

"MORGAN! Open this mother fucking door right now," Claudia called out. "Is it bullet proof? Cause I can and I will put a hole through it if you don't open up! I know your ass is in there. My surveillance is NEVER wrong!"

He let out a long breath before opening the door. He looked at her furious face...and decided she was pretty damn hot pissed off.

She held a paper bag in her hands. She walked in and continued screaming "What is WRONG with you? What's wrong with you? Well, answer me! Did you crash your motorcycle on the way home? Did you bump your head? Is that what caused THIS!" She waved the bag around.

"No. And stop screaming."

"Did you go see your best friend Carly? Feel guilty when you looked at her and realized you had once again ran straight from me to her? Is that what happened? Fucking answer me, Morgan!"

"You haven't stopped talking long enough for me to say anything."

"Stone Cold! The Jackal requests your humble.." Jason heard Spinelli before he saw him. By the time he looked up the stairs he saw Spinelli staring in shock at Claudia, as if her beauty had rendered him speech less.

She said to him, in a much nicer tone that she was using on Jason, "Hi there."

Spinelli took one step and promptly fell down the stairs, landing at Jason's feet. Jason bent down and said, softly, "Are you all right?"

"That goddess in a red dress? Is that..._.she_?"

Claudia snapped "You better not have told him about me, Jason."

Jason shot her an annoyed look. "You got your research team. He's mine." He helped Spinelli up.

Spinelli peered adoringly at Claudia and stumbled toward her. "It is you...the daughter of darkness herself...you are even more stunning in physical form than digitized." He bowed dramatically. "The Jackal is proud to make your acquaintance, Vixenella."

Claudia smiled. "You're really cute."

Spinelli's mouth dropped. He kept moving it but no words came out. Finally he just grabbed his messenger bag and left.

Jason said "He's been wanting to meet you for a while. Ever since Anthony started to give us problems and he looked into your family."

"So he doesn't know about Rome?"

Jason shook his head no. "You came over here ranting and raving. You mind not doing that again. Sometimes the boys are around and I don't want them hearing that kind of language."

"No, we can't upset Carly's precious boys now, can we? We have to protect those children all at fucking costs. Even if the cost...is me." She used his own words against him as she glared at him, then turned over the paper bag she was holding and let the contents flutter to the ground.

Very tiny pieces of red gardenias covered his floor.

He asked "What did you do to them?"

"What does it look like? I put them through the shredder, along with your note."

He thought back to what he had told the florist to put with the flowers he had delivered to her:

_Its not too late, Antonia._

Jason stared Claudia down. If she wouldn't forgive him, then she wouldn't. He would just have to live with it, he decided.

She taunted him "You have nothing to say? That's so typical of you."

"What do you want me to say? You didn't like the flowers I sent you. Okay."

"You SENT me flowers. You don't see something wrong with that?"

He gave her a blank look.

"Let me break it down for you, Morgan. It _is _too late. And you damn well know it. So either you are trying to play me and make me weak so you and Sonny can run over me and my organization...which will never happen cause I'll put a bullet in you before you take anything from me or Johnny...or else you are kidding yourself, if you really think we can go back seven years and pretend that you never left me for Carly."

"I did not leave you for Carly. I went home because she needed me. My friend needed me."

"She was a hell of a lot more than your friend. Research does not lie, even if you do. The birth certificate that reads Michael Morgan does not lie. It tells me you'd do anything for her. Her child named Morgan is not a lie. That tells me she adores you STILL!You running over half this globe with her and to save her and being with her every day is not a lie. You sticking right by her side for years when she marries man after man that is not you...instead of staying in Italy with me...none of that is a lie. Maybe you are not in love with her now...I don't know...but you damn sure did leave me for her."

"Believe what you want."

Claudia crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "I so want to shoot you right now."

"That's nothing new."

She headed for the door. "We have to interact for business reasons but outside of that do not contact me. Its too late for me and I think you're lying to me if you say it isn't too late for you. And I hate dealing with liars, Morgan." She grabbed the door knob.

"That note...I meant its not too late to put all that behind us. Not go back. Just let it go."

She spun around. "Let it GO? You were over me the second you got in that cab. You didn't even look back at me. So you letting it go is really not a big accomplishment. You can bet your ass I let you go a long time ago. Don't get it twisted now. You are the one trying to get back in my bed."

"I never said I wanted to do that."

XXXXXXXXXX

Claudia could have slapped him in that moment. Always with his short little answers and his cold denials of the obvious truth. She wasn't about to let him get away with it.

She grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss that was filled with all her anger, and also a show of the power she still had to make him hard and horny for her. She jerked back, her lips bruised, and asked "You don't want in my bed again? Sell that story somewhere else."

Claudia stepped back from him.

He said "We can't keep doing this."

"Doing what? Hating each other? Its worked well for me for seven years. I'm good with it."

"Being like this...every time we see each other..." He stared into her eyes, as pain filled his.

Her voice was soft and broken when she asked "What?"

"Every time now...its like that last time all over again."

Claudia's lips started to quiver and she turned away from him.

XXXXXXXXX

**December 1****st****, 2000**

_She never wanted to lay eyes on Jason Morgan again. _

_Claudia was ashamed to admit that she did not start hating him in the moment the cab drove away. She was angry but she still ached for him. She immediately started looking into his life in Port Charles, and that's when the real rage started to slowly grow. When she read newspaper accounts about the custody trail of Michael Morgan. But still...she would have taken him back then._

_But August turned to September, and she missed her period. She had to go alone to the doctor and hear she was carrying his baby. She drove home shaking in fear. What did she know about being a mother? She thought of Johnny day and night...she dreamed of having a son with blue eyes...she thought Jason would get on a plane and come back._

_The day her car was ran off the road by a rival mob family and three of her gaurds were gunned down before her eyes was the worst day of her life. It was the day she lost her baby. And the day she knew she would hate Jason forever. For he was in Port Charles hugging Carly and being all she needed...while Claudia miscarried the baby she already loved with all her heart._

_Jason showed up two weeks later at her Uncle Rudy's compound. They stood on the front steps together in the bitter winter air because she refused to let him come inside._

_He said "I can see you're still mad."_

"_I'm not mad," she said numbly. "I just don't care anymore."_

_Jason reached in his pocket and pulled out a box from a jewelry store. He opened it to show her a diamond and ruby bracelet._

Next Chapter: Claudia finally tells Jason the full truth about why she is so angry at him.


	81. jaudia, part twelve

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Twelve**

**Port Charles**

**November 12th, 2007**

One minute they were arguing and then Claudia was kissing Jason, with an anger that left him stunned. She jerked back from him.

"You don't want in my bed again? Sell that story somewhere else."

He said "We can't keep doing this."

"Doing what? Hating each other? Its worked well for me for seven years. I'm good with it."

"Being like this...every time we see each other..." He stared into her eyes, as pain filled his.

Her voice was soft and broken when she asked "What?"

"Every time now...its like that last time all over again."

Claudia's lips started to quiver and she turned away from him.

Jason said "What you don't get is that every time we're like this...we lose focus. And that could cost us our lives. You came home to take care of Johnny, right? How can you do that when you're not thinking straight?"

"Stay away from me then. Don't send me flowers."

"We're always gonna run into each other. Lets put the past behind us."

"I have!"

"Bullshit, Antonia."

She spun around and got in his face. "If you call me that one more time..."

"That's who you are to me."

"No. That's who I was. You ruined that. Why can't you man up and face it?"

"I know I let you down. I didn't mean to. There was no choice."

"No choice! You think telling me that helps? You had no choice but to run back to Carly. That makes me feel real fucking wonderful. Thank you, Jason. I forgive you now," she sneered.

**December 1****st****, 2000**

_They stood on the front steps together in the bitter winter air because she refused to let him come inside._

_He said "I can see you're still mad."_

"_I'm not mad," she said numbly. "I just don't care anymore."_

_Jason reached in his pocket and pulled out a box from a jewelry store. He opened it to show her a diamond and ruby bracelet._

_Claudia snapped at him "What's that for?"_

"_Its almost Christmas. I thought...you might like it."_

"_There is nothing you can give me to make up for what you already took away."_

_She believed if he had been there, protecting her, she would still have her baby. Though she had never asked him for protection...she loved him...and if he loved her he would have given that to her whether she asked or not._

"_I had to go home. There was no choice. And I'll have to go back again. That's just the way my life works. That was decided before I ever met you, Antonia."_

"_You know that's not my first name. You came all this way for what? To give me presents? Get your ass out of here, Morgan. You made your choice. Live with it. I have to."_

"_I'm staying at the Baglioni ..if you change your mind."_

"_There is zero chance of that happening."_

"_Antonia..." _

_She glared at him._

_Jason sighed and pinched his nose. "At least take the bracelet."_

"_Give it to her."_

_He shoved the gift back in the pocket of his leather jacket. Then he reached out and tried to take her hand. She hauled back and slapped him. The sound reverberated in the air._

"_You don't get to touch me!" she screamed._

_Guards came running. Claudia sent them away. Her heart was beating out of control. _

_She just wanted Jason to leave and die. He shouldn't live anymore. He walked out on her and their baby and now their baby was dead. He took all her chances for a good life and threw them away because he had to run back to Carly._

_Well, as far as she was concerned, he should go home, shoot Sonny, and marry Carly. Then they could both die in a fiery car wreck. It would be just what they deserved, Claudia felt, because all the games they played together...the back and forth she read about in the newspaper articles that spoke of Carly being with Jason, Tony and AJ and now Sonny and all the custody battles because of that...those games led Jason to Rome and to her...and they ruined her. Now Jason and Carly would go on as if Claudia and her loss...her baby...were nothing. _

_Jason briefly raised his gloved hand to touch his cheek, where she had slapped him. He stared at her for a long moment. "I never meant for it to go down this way. I never wanted to hurt you this bad. You helped me...you helped me a lot...when I was in pain...you helped me...by more than just being with me...by showing me there was life out there for me, if I wanted it...and I'm sorry that things ended so badly."_

"_Fucking take your sorry and choke on it, Morgan. Its too late now." With that she opened the door to the mansion and walked inside, leaving him standing there as the first flakes of snow began to fall on him._

_The streets would soon look beautiful in Milan that day, but for Claudia the world was a very ugly place. She blamed only two people for that- her Daddy and Jason. They both cost her a child. Anthony took Johnny from her and Jason allowed his promises to Carly to come before Claudia...leaving her alone and vulnerable...and in her mind that killed their baby._

_She could never forgive him._

XXXXXXXXX

Jason dropped his voice low and said "Think about it. We knew each other nine days. I knew her for years. I had a son with her. She needed me...I couldn't be with her again...but I did have to come back. What kind of man would I have been if I didn't?"

"What kind of man leaves a woman behind and doesn't call to check up on her? That's how you treat a whore! And that's what you did to me."

"It would have been too hard to talk to you. I would have wanted to go see you and I couldn't. I had to get my head on straight again."

"Not from me, though, from her!"

"Yes! What do you want me to say? I never lied to you!"

"Just get away from me. I'm out of here. This is such bullshit to still be going over this seven years later."

"We have to work this out, Antonia."

"AHHHHHHHH! Shut up with that name." She turned and their eyes met. They stared at each other for a long minute.

Then Jason said something that sent Claudia over the edge. "Its time for you to let this go."

"What the fuck do you know about it, Jason? What do you know about what I've had to let go? About what you cost me? You know nothing about that. NOTHING! You want to know...do you really want to know why your apology will never make up for what you did? Because you left me in Italy alone and pregnant with our son."

His face stilled. They stared at each other for a long moment before she headed for the door.

Jason hurried over and slammed his hand against the door, keeping it closed, as her back was pressed against his chest. He whispered in her ear "What happened to our baby?"

Claudia bit her lip, to hold back a sob. Jason placed his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her around.

He looked down into her deep brown, broken eyes. "Our baby didn't make it, did he?"

She shook her head no, as tears rolled out of her eyes.

Jason pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry you went through that without me...all I ever do is apologize to you...now I know why it will never be enough."

Claudia slowly raised her arms and wrapped them around him. She clutched him tightly...and finally she felt like she could mourn her lost child...that she believed was a son...in the right way, the way she should have seven years before...with Jason holding her.

**Note-** That marks the end of the flashbacks. Jason and Claudia did not meet again till Emily's funeral.


	82. jaudia, thirteen

Note- Trey Kenyon is a character from All My Children.

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Thirteen**

**Port Charles**

**November 12th, 2007**

Claudia pulled out of the hug with Jason. She told him "I should go. I have business to conduct today." She motioned at the shredded red gardenias on his floor "And you have an apartment to clean up."

"If I knew you were pregnant, I would have been there."

"If you say so, Morgan."

"Do you believe me?"

"Fine! I believe you."

"But it changes nothing, right?" Jason let out a long breath. He didn't want to care so damn much about getting her forgiveness...but he did.

He wanted her to look at him like she did on the day before he told her he was leaving Italy. She looked at him like he was amazing. Like he could be her whole world. It was an addictive look to see in someone's eyes.

Even if he couldn't get that look back in her eyes, Jason wanted the fighting to end between them.

(_All the same  
I don't want mudslinging games_

_  
It's such a shame  
to let you walk away_

Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?

_  
Is there a chance you may_

_change your mind?_

_  
Or are we ashes and wine_?)

Claudia looked away from him. "It doesn't bring back my son...no. You might not have ran me off the road...shot at me...killed three good men who were trying to protect me and our baby...but if you were there, you could have been one hell of a back-up for me. I never wanted nor needed that before...till I was carrying your baby...and then I needed you...and you were gone."

"And you can't stand to look at me now because of that."

(_I'll tear myself away_

_if that is what you need_

_  
There is nothing left to say  
but_

Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?

_  
Is there a chance you may _

_change your mind?  
_

_Or are we ashes and wine?  
The day's still ashes and wine._

_  
Or are we ashes_? ) ( A Fine Frenzy)

"All you are to me, Jason, is a symbol of everything I no longer believe in. You want Antonia back but you can't have her. Deal with it."

"I just want to be able to work with you without arguing."

"You don't have to lie to me...or yourself. You want Antonia back! But she's dead." She looked right into his eyes and said "You're a hitman. You did what you do best. You killed her."

Then Claudia walked out of his Penthouse, leaving the door open and Jason staring into the hallway at her, until he slammed the door shut.

XXXXXXXX

**Crimson Point**

**November 20th, 2007**

Claudia rededicated herself to her work. She stayed focus, calm and cold. She started a business relationship with Jerry Jacks and her illegal prescription drugs started to flood the streets of Rochester. The only way anyone would have been able to tell that she was off her game was that she avoided Port Charles at all costs.

The only day she went there was to exact a small measure of revenge on Carly by pinning Jasper Jacks to the wall of the elevator at The Metro Court and kissing him. Then she walked away from him, swinging her hips, and leaving him hard. She hoped he went home and found Carly lacking.

She sat in her living room, drinking straight bourbon. Trey Kenyon, her new lawyer and old classmate from boarding school, asked her "Are you sure you want to do this? Take over your father's business?"

"Of course. He's crazy and Johnny is too young. Besides, I know how to do this and I do it well."

"But you seem to hate it."

"I love it, Trey. I was born to do this."

"Something is off about you lately. I've known you too long to not see it. If its not work, then what is it?"

"Maybe its living in this house. Johnny is out all the time with that stupid little child he's screwing...and I'm here. Remembering Daddy and all the ways he made me feel unwanted when I was growing up."

"And that's it? Just the house?" He sat down next to her on the couch.

"What are you getting at, Trey? Spit it out."

"Did you leave a guy behind in Italy?"

"Not hardly. You know I don't do relationships. I only do no regrets sex."

Trey leaned close to and said "My favorite kind." Then he kissed her.

Claudia didn't mind the kiss...but it only made her madder at Jason. Cause Jason's kisses sent her nerve endings on fire. And she couldn't have his kisses back now.

The only comfort she had was that Jason finally knew the truth about their baby. Somehow that made it easier for Claudia to carry the pain of losing their child, knowing she was no longer carrying it alone. Day by day, she started to ache just a little less.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

**Port Charles**

**December 3****rd****, 2007**

"Jason...tell me what it is. You have to talk to me," Carly told him. They stood in his office at the coffee shop.

"Its too early in the morning for this. Don't you have a hotel to run?"

She gave him a hurt look.

He said "I'm sorry. I've been on edge lately.

"I know that you've been mourning Emily and Leticia but I think there is something more going on. If you don't tell me then I'm gonna have to look into it myself."

"What does that mean? Snoop through my SUV? Rifle my desk drawers? Shake down Spinelli for information?"

"Whatever it takes."

"Milo already is your spy here...isn't that bad enough? You shouldn't have my men in your pocket."

Carly stepped closer to him. "Stop shutting me out then and I wouldn't have to resort to that."

"I'm not trying to do that."

"Then what is the secret you're keeping from me? Don't even try telling me there's not one. There is."

He let out a long breath and looked down. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Well I really do want to hear about it." Carly sat down. "And I'm not leaving till I do."

Jason walked over and sat down behind his desk. They stared at each other for a long moment. Finally he threw his hands up, in a gesture of defeat. "Fine...fine...But don't get all worked up about it. Remember you asked to hear this. And I'm trusting you to not butt into this and try to fix it."

She simply smiled at him.

He shook his head at her, knowing she would do whatever the hell she wanted to unless he made her promise otherwise. He did not make her promise, instead he asked "You know Claudia Zacchara?"

"Well I haven't met her but I know she is running her father's organization and that things have been a lot quieter since she came to town."

"Yeah...she don't want to move in on us so things have calmed down."

"So why are you so upset?"

"I'm not upset. You're reading something into it that's not there."

"Tell me the rest of it then, Jase. What about her? Is she about to cause trouble for our family?"

"No. I don't think so, at least. Carly...I didn't meet Claudia for the first time when she moved back home. I met her in Italy."

"When you were visiting Brenda?"

"No. Before Brenda moved there. In 2000."

"Oh." Her smile fell away.

"Yeah."

"And now what? Are you two hooking up again? Is that what you're keeping from me? Does Sonny know? Does Spinelli? Does everyone know but me?"

"Sonny knows about the past. Only you know about right now. I haven't said much to Sonny about it cause he'll think its dangerous to be dealing with her."

"You got to spell this out for me. Are you dating Claudia?"

"No. She won't see me or have anything to do with me."

Carly's eyes drifted close for a minute. When they opened she was calm and determined to deal with this without letting her hurt affect her ability to help Jason. "But you want her to, Jase, don't you?"

He didn't answer.

"So, as your best friend," Carly said "are you looking for me to say its okay to sleep with the enemy?"

"No. I'm not asking your permission. Did you ask mine before you slept with Jax?"

"Fine. Then what do you want me to say?"

"You asked what's wrong and I told you."

"I don't think she's good enough for you, Jase."

"In your mind, no one is."

"Well at least you've stopped chasing after Elizabeth. That's an upside to this whole mess."

"Claudia is through with me so it don't matter what I want. And I'm not involved with Liz at all, you know that."

"I love you and I want you happy, Jason. But you never pick the right woman. Courtney is the only one I could even stand."

"Because she let you boss her around." He smiled. "You never met Claudia but you know she's all wrong for me?"

Carly smiled. "If she doesn't want you, when you so clearly _do _want her, then she can't be that smart, can she?"

"She's angry about the way things ended in Italy."

"How did they end?"

"I walked out on her...to come check on you."

"Oh...that would piss me off if the positions were reversed. But they never will be cause you will always come to me when I need you...and never walk away till I'm okay."

"She knows that and that's why she doesn't want a thing to do with me."

"I'm sorry if I'm costing you your happiness but I'm part of the package deal with you...just like you are with me."

"I know that. It is what it is. Claudia is done with me. I'll just have to learn to live with it."

XXXXXXXXX

**An hour later**

Carly stormed into the living room of Claudia's mansion, with two gaurds following her. One of the gaurds said "I thought I better escort her in, Mrs. Jacks is a little...volatile, ma'am."

"Its fine. You may leave."

Carly yelled at Claudia "What is your problem? Jason not good enough for you or something?"

Claudia slowly stood up from behind her desk. "You don't want to come into my house and scream at me."

"Yeah, I do, cause you're hurting my best friend. And looking at you right now...I wonder if I should just tell him to forget about you all together. You're not that special."

"If you have that much pull with him, why don't you walk out of here and go do that? I think the only reason you are here is because no matter what you say...Caroline...he will still want me and you can't stand that. You aren't here to get me to go to Jason...you're just here to scope out your latest competition. To figure out a way to run me off like you have every other woman in his life."

"Don't call me Caroline. You don't know me like that."

"Isn't that your name?"

"Everyone calls me Carly."

"Carly is your childhood friend. The one you thought was dead so you figured she wouldn't need her name anymore."

"Just because you know things about me, don't think you know me. You don't have a clue who I am."

"I don't know_ things_ about you...Caroline...I know _everything _about you."

"You've been harboring a grudge for what? Seven long years. Just because he needed to visit me when I was going through a hard time. If you can't deal with that, you don't deserve Jason Morgan in your life." With that, Carly turned and walked out.

Claudia yelled after her "Don't come back to my house!"

XXXXXXXXXXX

**30 minutes later**

Claudia walked into Jason's office. "You better call Carly off and I mean now."

She glared at him, but she could have sworn she saw a hint of a smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

_Damn him for looking happy to see me_, she thought_. How do I resist that_?

Next chapter: Jason and Claudia finally start their second chance.


	83. jaudia, fourteen

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Fourteen**

**Port Charles**

**December 3****rd****, 2007**

Jason was shocked that Carly's meddling actually worked. It got Claudia to come see him. Whether Carly wanted that or just the opposite, he couldn't say. But either way, Claudia was here. Bitching at him again. But that was normal.

"You better call Carly off and I mean now."

There was something about this woman that got his blood pumping. It was more than her looks. It was the way she was fiercely intense, and how she could rage out of control one minute and then smile the next. It was how she lived her life balls to the walls style, no hold bars. He would never have to worry about her being in danger in this lifestyle if she was with him. The world should be the one to worry about coming up against Claudia.

(_She can kill with a smile_

_She can wound with her eyes  
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies _

_  
And she only reveals what she wants you to see_

_  
She hides like a child_

_but she's always a woman to me _) ( Billy Joel)

"What happened?" Jason asked her.

"She's your personal . Don't act like you didn't know."

"Carly thinks she's helping me. What did she say to you?"

"That I don't deserve you. Now what the fuck gave her the idea I_ want_ you?"

"We both know you don't."

"How in the hell do you ever date anyone with her around?"

"Very carefully."

After a moment, Claudia smiled slightly and her voice grew a lot less upset."Its just messed up. You're costing yourself all your chances for a life that doesn't suck."

"You're the one who said that's not an option."

"Like I'm the only woman in your world that you want to sleep with right now."

"That's the thing, Antonia. You are."

Jason stood up from behind his desk and moved around it. He had tried to forget about her in the years they were apart, he filled his life to the brim with plenty of other women and he had loved some of them...and he always had Carly...but there was something that changed in Jason the moment he saw Claudia walk up to the church on the day of Emily's funeral. Something in him shifted...and he started to think that maybe he hadn't lost his last real chance at love. Maybe their was one chance left for him still.

For Claudia Antonia Zacchara, he would do things he didn't usually do. Keep trying and trying to get her back, instead of just giving up and moving on like in the past. He told himself, when he was away from Claudia, he could accept she didn't want him anymore. But every time he saw her, it was a whole different story.

Claudia's eyes were locked on his as he moved closer to her. She said "Like I believe that one, Morgan."

_(She can lead you to love_

_She can take you or leave you _

_  
She can ask for the truth_

_but she'll never believe you _

_  
And she'll take what you give her_

_as long it's free _

_  
Yeah, she steals like a thief_

_but she's always a woman to me_)

"Why would I lie about that?" Jason asked her, as he moved his body so close to her that they each breath he took made his chest touch hers.

She looked up and into his eyes. "If you want me so bad what's kept you away for the last month?"

"21 days and you told me to stay away."

She pushed at his chest, playfully instead of like she wanted to kick his ass this time. He liked the change.

Claudia said "Shut up. You are not counting the days."

"Fine. I'm not."

"You are!" she said, and finally her eyes were no longer sad.

"Fine I am."

She shook her head, smiling. "You are seriously a sad case...what am I gonna do with you?"

The answer he wanted was for her to take him to bed and stop with all this playing around. He wanted her in Italy and he wanted her now. He was just waiting on her to want him back again.

_  
(And she'll promise you more than_

_the garden of Eden _

_  
Then she'll carelessly cut you_

_and laugh while you're bleeding _

_  
But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be _

_  
Blame it all on yourself _

_cause she's always a woman to me_)

"Start over with me," Jason said to Claudia.

It was all he really wanted from her. To see what they would be like now.

Her face showed all her conflicting emotions at the idea of doing that.

He stuck out his hand. In a low, nearly hoarse tone he said "Hi..." he swallowed hard "I'm

Jason Morgan."

She titled her head to the side and bit her lip. Long moments passed and then she brushed past him and headed for the door. Jason watched her walk out and then he picked up a coffee mug off the desk and threw it at the wall.

A second later, he felt hands on his arms, urging him to turn around. When he did, Claudia was there and she brought her lips to his in a desperate, needy kiss. She pulled back, smiled with tears in her eyes, and said "Hi...I'm Claudia Antonia Zacchara and if you screw me over again...I will kill you."

Jason reached over and pushed close the door to his office and then he kissed her again and again, until her back was resting against the wall and his body was pressed tight to hers. She moaned into his mouth. Her hands clutched at the back of his shirt.

Just then the door opened and Milo said "Mr. Morgan...ugh!" He made a strangled sound.

Jason and Claudia yelled at the same time. "Out!"

Milo closed the door with a heavy thud.

Jason smoothed her hair back and looked into her eyes. "What made you change your mind and come back?"

"Don't question a good thing." She kissed him again but he pulled back, causing her to whimper in protest. She tried to kiss him again but he moved back more, giving her a firm look."Fine! You drive me crazy. You seriously do. I don't remember you driving me this crazy back in Rome...okay...why did I change my mind just now? Cause...I'm still really angry at you...I'm angry about something that happened seven years ago. You know why I'm still mad? Cause you mattered to me then...so I'm standing here right now trying to figure out if you can matter to me again...because I've never met any other man that mattered, Jason. Only you."

Those words only make Jason want Claudia more...it makes him feel important to her in a way no one else on earth can be. He's always watched the women he loves move on to other men quickly after him...even let other men father their children, play daddy to his kids while he insisted that was fine...but Claudia said there could be no other man for her. No man that has ever mattered to her at all. No other man she could even think about loving.

_Only you, only you, only you,_ runs through his mind as he brings his lips to hers once more. Damn if he didn't want to take her right there up against the wall.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Claudia didn't ask herself if she was making a mistake by giving Jason a second chance. There was no other man on earth that would ever get one from her.

Jason made her feel every emotion imaginable...and he's the only man who ever could do that for her. If she was going to risk it all for anyone, it would be Jason. She thought she would spend her life alone but living so close to Jason has broken down her defenses. All she did was think about him anyway. She couldn't really be a kick ass business woman till she dealt with him...so that she could clear her head of the pain and heartache...and focus on her job again.

As he kissed her, with her back pressed to the wall, Claudia remembered why she first hung on to Jason instead of letting it be a one night stand. He kissed amazingly well.

Of course she wanted him in her life for much more than kisses. She wanted him because their was no other man in the world like Jason Morgan...she had only fallen in love once in her life...and he was her one. That would never change for her. She could hate him every second that was left in her life and she would still be loving him every second too.

He buried his hands in her long black hair and then broke their kiss. "We have to stop."

She rubbed herself against the hard length of him, sending lovely sparks all through her. "That's crazy talk."

"My lawyer and my accountant are coming for a meeting in a few minutes and I don't want an audience."

"I think you should cancel that meeting and come back to my mansion."

His eyes darkened even more than they were already. But what he said next surprised her "Do you want to go into the city with me tonight?"

Jason stepped back from her, giving them both a chance to calm their breathing and adjust their clothes.

"New York City? For what? Business?"

"How long has it been since you've been there?"

"Like fifteen years. Before Daddy sent me away."

"So we'll go into the city tonight, then, okay?"

"For what?" her tone was hinging on teary and she damn well knew it. But Claudia had a pretty good idea what Jason was driving at and it actually made her a little nervous. If he screwed her, down and dirty, against the wall, she would know how to play this. But what he was taking about...that was new for her.

He said "Because I want to date you, not just fuck you."

"Do you know what you're doing? Do you really know what you're doing? Because if you don't...you should stop. If your going to run off to the nurse or, God forbid, up and decide you want Carly back...just forget it now. Because what you are talking about, Jason. That's serious. And I don't do serious."

He threw his hands out in a frustrated gesture. "Then why are you here?! You really think I want to go back to pretending like there are no strings. There are always strings, Antonia. Always."

"You're never gonna stop calling me Antonia, are you?"

"I'll work on it."

"You don't have to."

They stared at each for a long moment. From the hall they heard Sonny ask Milo "Jason in?" a moment passed and there was a shuffling sound, like Milo threw himself in front of the door. Sonny then asked "What's going on in there? Move...I said move, Giambetti!"

"But boss, you don't wanna..."

Sonny came through the door and eyed Jason and Claudia suspiciously. "So...I see you two are finally working things out, yeah?"

When no one answered him Sonny turned to Claudia "Ms. Zacchara, I have to say that dealing with you is turning out to be much easier than your father...long as you stay in Crimson Point."

"As long as you stay in Port Charles then we'll be fine. You look to the north, I own that. The south, mine too. The east and the west...rapidly becoming Zacchara territory. But you may have your Port Charles."

Sonny shook his head in disbelief, a typical reaction he usually had to whatever Claudia said. He looked at Jason "She told me I get to have Port Charles. Nice of her, huh? Unbelievable."

Jason shrugged. "At least there won't be a war."

Claudia said "For now. Have a good afternoon, gentleman." She walked out without looking at Jason again, leaving him unsure if they had a date that night or not.


	84. jaudia, fifteen

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Fifteen**

**Port Charles**

**December 3****rd****, 2007**

Sonny said to Claudia "Ms. Zacchara, I have to say that working with you is turning out to be much easier than your father...long as you stay in Crimson Point."

"As long as you stay in Port Charles then we'll be fine. You look to the north, I own that. The south, mine too. The east and the west...rapidly becoming Zacchara territory. But you may have your Port Charles."

Sonny shook his head in disbelief, a typical reaction he usually had to whatever Claudia said. He looked at Jason "She told me I get to have Port Charles. Nice of her, huh? Unbelievable."

Jason shrugged. "At least there won't be a war."

Claudia said "For now. Have a good afternoon, gentleman." She walked out without looking at Jason again, leaving him unsure if they had a date that night or not.

Once she was gone, Sonny threw his hands up and shook his head, then went to sit behind his desk. He let out a long breath. "Jason...you got to be honest with me. You've spent a good month dodging my every question about that woman."

"Nothing was going on with her before today."

"You mean you weren't sleeping with her before today but something was definitely going on. I knew it would be so I'm not surprised and I'm not gonna tell you to stop cause you won't anyway, right? I don't want to get in your personal business...you know me...date who you want...but Claudia isn't just some chick. So before you go and fall in love with her...if you haven't already...remember that one day I could always tell you she has to be taken out. What you gonna do that day?"

"What do you want me to say? Its not that day."

"I trust you, Jason.. You usually keep a cool head. I hope she doesn't fuck that up for you."

"If you really do trust me still then trust that I know what I'm doing."

"The thing is, you have a history with her, like I have a history with Kate, and it makes everything...intense...you wanna try to make up for the past and you can't. So you grab onto right now with both hands...damn the consequences. Maybe you even think a little about how you messed up with other chicks and you can't fix that...but this one is back now and you can make things right with her. I know all about that. You're gonna do what you want but...we're business partners, we're family...don't turn on me over her. If things go sideways come to me and we'll figure this out together...I won't just go after you...and you don't go after me. Cause the only people that will really suffer are Carly and the kids."

"I know that. I won't let that happen."

XXXXXXXXX

**Hours later**

Jason heard someone knocking on his door and jogged down the stairs at his apartment, while doing up a cufflink. The distinctive pounding made him yell out "Hold on, Carly."

He did the cuff link and opened the door. He watched her eyes take in him in his tux and soften. She breathed out "It worked, huh?"

"Come on in."

Carly walked in and he closed the door behind her. She said "I take it you are dressed up to take Claudia out."

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Oh, come on, Jase. You don't have to play word games with me. You told me you wanted to date her and you obviously are."

"I asked her to go into New York city tonight, yeah. But I'm not sure she agreed."

"What? Call her and ask her."

"I'll just go out to her house and find out."

"You're gonna show up looking like this and maybe get kicked between the teeth by her? No. Don't put yourself through that."

"It will be fine, Carly. Thank you for caring...and thank you for...helping me. Though I don't know if I should really be thanking you or yelling at you for going out to Crimson Point today."

"You're not sure if I wanted Claudia to get motivated to go after you or if I wanted to scare her off, huh?"

He looked into her eyes, searching them. "I knew you wanted to help me...either way."

She stepped close to him, and started to adjust his tie. "She really don't deserve you but..." she looked into his eyes "I love you so much that...I'd do anything to see you happy. I helped Courtney plan two weddings to you and talked to Sam about getting pregnant with your baby...I'm happy with Jax and I really want you happy too. Not that I'm sure this Zacchara person can make you happy. She better not break your heart or I'll order a hit on her myself."

"You don't order hits."

"I could start." She raised her hand to lay it against his cheek. "You look so handsome, Jase." She kissed his cheek. "I hate it that you're dating someone new but I will love it if you become happy again. I've been so worried for you since we lost Emily."

He hugged her. "Thank you for supporting me. I count on that from you and you never let me down."

"And I never will."

XXXXXXXXX

**Crimson Point**

**December 3****rd****, 2007**

Claudia walked into the living room, dressed in a long black gown with a diamond necklace and earrings on. Trey smiled when he saw her. "For me? You didn't have to."

"I didn't."

He covered his heart with his hand. "I'm crushed, Toni." He said, using her nickname from boarding school. "You're stepping out on me?" he joked.

"A few sessions between the sheets does not a relationship make. You knew it wasn't going anywhere from the start. But I do love you, Trey." She kissed both his cheeks. "You're my oldest friend."

"You're lucky I have such a soft spot for you that I don't have it in me to get all pissed off and crazy over you dressing like this...gorgeous by the way...for some guy who ain't me. Because you know, if I was so inclined, I could easily destroy his world."

"And that is what I like most about you. That you can take out anyone you hate or anyone in your way without a moment's moral contemplation, but that you would never turn on the people you love."

"Like you." He smiled and stepped around her, heading for the door, but before he left he slapped her ass.

Claudia laughed and pointed at him. "Hey there! Watch the hands."

"You have yourself a good night. I'm heading back to the Metro Court for dinner with a hot nurse. I hope it ends better than the one with the lawyer last night. I should know better than to date one of my own breed."

"So you've been seeing other people all along?"

He looked over his shoulder at her. "I figured I might as well. You weren't mumbling my name in your sleep. Jason better treat you right."

Johnny walked in and said "He better. Or I'll kill him myself."

Claudia said "You'll have to get in line behind me."

XXXXXXXXXX

**An hour later**

When Jason walked into the den at the Zacchara mansion, and Claudia saw him dressed in his tux, she remembered just why he was the man she was going through so much trouble for...because butterflies danced through her insides, over her ribs and spine, until she was half drunk on just the sight of him.

He looked her up and down, and said, hesitantly, "I wasn't sure...you were gonna go through with this."

"I eat fear for breakfast, Jason," she joked.

A smile grin curved over his lips. "Oh yeah?"

"I'm not gonna let you get the better of me. If I didn't go to New York with you tonight, you'd think I don't have the guts to date you...that I just want to screw you till you can't say anyone's name but mine. And though that does sound good...I can handle dating you too. I can handle anything. I'm Claudia Antonia Zacchara."

Jason walked close to her and placed his hands on her hips, saying softly, "Hey...", since he hadn't actually said hello when he came in.

His mouthed moved closer to her and she whispered "Hey," and then his lips crashed into hers, starting an intense kiss that ended with him picking her up and setting her on the desk.


	85. jaudia, sixteen

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Sixteen**

**New York City, New York**

**December 3****rd****, 2007**

Jason rented a suite that overlooked Times Square and had the hotel staff fill the room with candle light, set up a table for dinner, and have Hirsch Reserve 16 bourbon sent to the room for Claudia.

They ended up spending dinner talking about business. She mentioned that there was a Russian mobster named Andre Karpov that was making noise about wanting to establish himself in New York. They strategized ways to head him off at the pass.

"Trey dug up some dirt on him. Some murders of his old girlfriends that he looks good for. He moves in on me...and I'll cut his balls off and feed them to him. Count on it, Jason."

"I don't doubt that. Sonny and me don't want him anywhere near Port Charles so if we can get the jump on him before he moves in, all the fucking better. I'll get someone on it."

"Trey isn't done searching either. And believe me, that man is like a bloodhound when it comes to finding out dirty little secrets."

"That your new lawyer, right? Kenyon?"

"He's a lot more than a lawyer to me. You might as well get used to him. He's here to stay. We go way back. He was my closest friend at boarding school and he used to visit me five or six times a year when I lived in Italy. Except for when he was in prison."

"He got his law license back after that?"

"He had his record expunged and the case overturned. He's that good."

Jason nodded, but his eyes searched hers.

"What?" she asked "If you want to know if I ever slept with him...just ask."

"I don't want to know. Your past is your past. Don't go sleeping with him after tonight though."

A slow smile curved her lips. "Why? Would that piss you off?"

He just gave her a long look, filled with heat. She stood up and walked around the table, then settled herself in his lap. She placed one arm around his neck.

She whispered "I swore to myself I'd never do this with you again."

(_I said I'd never let nobody_

_near my heart again, darling_

_  
I said I'd never_

_let nobody in_

But if you asked me to  
I just might change

_my mind  
and let you in my life forever_

_  
If you asked me to  
I just might give my heart  
and stay here in your arms forever_

_  
If you asked me to  
If you asked me to )_

Claudia caressed his cheek. Jason closed his eyes and leaned into the gesture. Her heard her breath catch. Before he could open his eyes, her lips connected with his...and finally he stopped missing her so damn much. Finally he started to believe they could make this thing work.

Maybe she was the only chick he could make it work with.

He had wanted to with so many others...but he felt like Claudia was enough in to his lifestyle to survive it and enough into his past, his memories, his heart and his soul...to make it worth taking another chance...after he had vowed he would rather be alone that ever try again. She made him want to try.

_  
(I said I'd never let nobody_

_get too close to me, darling_

_  
I said I needed_

_needed to be free_

But if you asked me to  
I just might change my mindand let you in my life forever

_  
If you asked me to  
I just might give my heart  
and stay here in your arms forever_

_  
If you asked me to  
If you asked me to_

Ask me to

_I will give my world to you, baby_

_  
I need you now_

_  
Ask me to _

_and I'll do anything for you, baby_

_for you, baby)  
_

Claudia started to unbutton his shirt. Jason's hands covered hers, stopping her. His lust filled eyes settled on hers. He all but choked out "Uh...I got us tickets to...uh some play...Spinelli found it online...said its good."

She chuckled. "Fuck going to a play. I want you. Now."

He brought his hands up to fist in her hair and made her look in his eyes. "You said I made you feel like an Italian whore before and you are not that to me, do you understand?"

She nodded.

"Tell me you believe me, Antonia."

"I believe you..." as soon as she said Jason pulled her into a passionate kiss.

XXXXXXXXX

After long minutes spent kissing until her body was on fire, hot and wet and eager for him, Claudia stood up and pulled Jason to his feet, by yanking on his tie. He turned her around and undid the zipper on her dress, kissing her shoulders and back as the dress fell to the ground.

He straighten and wrapped his arm around her waist. His eyes feasted on the sight of her lingerie clad body, her hard nipples straining the fabric of her bra. She looked up at him, her eyes hazy with desire, and he brought his mouth down to hers, their tongues tangling together in a duel for dominance. She spun around and started to quickly unbutton his shirt, yanking it off him, as she kissed his collar bone and neck. He pulled off his white t-shirt.

She stepped back and looked him up and down. Her hands moved to her bra, unhooking the front snap and taking it off. He moved toward her. She held up a hand, telling him to stay back. Jason froze.

Claudia whispered "Don't you dare break me again."

"You have my word that I won't."

He knew she meant that he couldn't walk out on her like he did before, and he never would again. He might have to rush to help other people he loved but he wouldn't abandon Claudia for months and months, while loving another woman the whole time. He would keep his word and treat her with respect from now on.

She rushed into his arms, kissing him, as he lifted her off the ground and walked toward the bed, as they kept kissing.

Jason knew then he had been a fool to think he could live the rest of his life without love. This is what he needed. Claudia Antonia...she was worth taking another shot over. More than worth it to him.

(_All ya gotta do  
All ya gotta do  
_

_All you gotta do is ask me to_

_  
I'll give you my world  
I'll give you my world_

_  
Everything_

_everything baby._

Just ask me to

if you asked me to

_  
I'd change my mind  
I'll change my mind_)

XXXXXXXXX

_I will never give him up again. Never. Never, _Claudia thought as Jason moved inside of her. Her nails dug into his back. She arched her back, thrusting her breast more fully against his hand. _Some other chick tries to take him another time and she'll have to kill me to get him...or I'll kill her to keep him...Jason Morgan is mine...He's mine...Oh my God...I can't believe he's mine finally..._

She could feel him getting close to climaxing and sheopened her eyes, knowing it would be the ultimate thrill to watch him lose control before her, but his hand slid down over her stomach and against the center of her, his finger found her clit and soon she was rocketing right over the edge, moments before him.

A minute later, he had rolled onto his back and pulled her sweat slicked body against his. He kissed her forehead.

She kissed the pulse point in his neck and whispered, breathlessly, "Damn...you only got better with time."

She knew what they had now wouldn't be the same as what they had in Italy. They were older, jaded, and they were too deep into the mob world now to ever think about walking away. They weren't just learning the ropes anymore. They were running the show.

And there would be no child they could share...like they made together before. Jason wore a condom this time and Claudia was glad for that. She was also on the pill. She couldn't bring a baby into the mob lifestyle. No child deserved that.

The pain of having her son, who would be six now, never be born would haunt her forever but she could still find just enough hope left in her nearly destroyed black, brittle soul to try one more time at happiness. It was nearly a foreign concept to her. The only real, down to her bones, no dark shadows hovering over her, pure unadulterated happiness she had ever known in her life had been found with Jason Morgan.

She wondered if it was possible to catch lightening in a bottle twice in one lifetime.

XXXXXX

**New York City, New York**

**December 4****rd****, 2007**

As they ate breakfast in their suite the next day, Claudia asked Jason "Am I gonna be your dirty little secret from Sonny?"

"No. He knows."

"I don't get that. How can he not have a problem with you wanting to sleep with a sworn enemy?"

"I decide who I'm with not Sonny. If he has a problem with it, he'll have to get over it."

"Can you tell me something, Jason? Why would you...risk...being with me? I could have put a bullet in your head the second you fell asleep last night."

"But you didn't."

"But I could have. You didn't get to the spot you have...the reputation you have...the power you have...by being reckless. So what made you toss aside the fact that I'm a very dangerous woman whose business interests may one day directly oppose yours? If you don't believe I'm really as ruthless as I claim there is a long list of names that will prove you wrong...all the men I've killed because they got in my way."

He put down his fork and looked into her eyes. "I thought about it, okay? If you want to kill me, you'll come after me...either way. It won't make a difference if I with you or not...so I might as well be with you until the day comes...and it might not...when the business gets in the way."

"I'll do what I have to in order to protect my brother."

"And I'll do what I have to when it comes to protecting my family."

"So if we want to stay together we got to keep the peace."

"Can you do that?"

"I'm not my father. I don't go looking for mob wars. I just want what I what and I take it. I want you more than I want to control the docks in Port Charles."

"Good."

"You think we could work together?"

"I don't know. Sonny doesn't trust you yet. One day...that could change. Give it time."

"I'm not a very patient woman, Jason."

"Don't worry about tomorrow. It only messes up today when you do."

She smiled. "And today...we can stay in the city together, right?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I could drag you around to see museums and crap like we did in Rome."

"Please don't."

She chuckled. "Or we could stay in this room all day and just have sex."

"Now that sounds like a plan."

Coming up: Liz finds out that Jason and Claudia are together.


	86. jaudia, seventeen

_The next two chapters were written in response to a review by mallorylee that asked to see Liz's reaction to Jaudia. So they are basically bonus chapters, from what the original story was. _

_Thanks for sticking this story out._

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Seventeen**

**December 20****th****, 2007**

"Stone Cold!"

Jason immediately knew something was up by the tone of Spinelli's voice over the phone. Jason stood up from behind his desk at the coffee shop and grabbed his coat. "Yeah?"

"The Jackal does not wish to alarm you but I was just at General Hospital to visit with the kind and beautiful nurse of mercy..Leyla...when I saw Vixenella here and she appeared in great emotional turmoil. I fear she is in need of your comfort in her time of need."

His heart raced as he grabbed his keys and headed out the door. "Claudia is there? Is she hurt?"

"Fear not. It is not your latest paramour that suffered the injury that brought her to this fine medical establishment. It is her dark and brooding brother that has the ailment."

"What happened to Johnny?"

"The Jackal does not know. I just saw them in a cubicle and Vixenella was screaming at The Maternal One to get her a doctor and do it STAT, though Vixenella didn't put it in such pleasant terms as I have. The Jackal cleaned up the language for you but I assure you that the facts remain unaltered."

Jason jumped on his bike. "You still at GH?"

"The Jackal is right outside the Emergency Room right now."

"Go in and check on Claudia. Tell her I'm on my way. And thanks...thank you, Spinelli..for calling me." Jason hung up.

He revved up his bike and headed for the hospital. He didn't even ask himself why Claudia didn't call him. The answer was obvious to him. She thinks she doesn't need anyone's back up. Well she was getting his, whether she liked it or not.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Claudia clutched John's hand tightly. No matter how hard she tried to tell herself that he would be fine, all she could think was_: God's taking away another child from me._

Maybe He had only let John live because Claudia was in Europe. Now she was home. Now she had her boy back. God wouldn't ever let her have a child in her life. But John was now a man...she thought that meant God would allow her back into John's life. Claudia knew in her head it was irrational to think God conspired to keep her away from small children, and away from ever mothering anyone, but it was not her head that ruled in moments like this.

John was hurt. Her heart was in full control right now.

He looked at her from where he lay on the gurney and said "Its just a small head wound. A few stitches and we'll be out of here."

"You're bleeding from your fucking head and this place is doing nothing about it! I don't care if a ten car pile up came in. You need treatment and you need it now. Not just a half assed bandage job by that wench of a nurse."

"They told us they'll be back as soon as they can to do the stitches."

Claudia stood up, trying to let go of his hand but he hung on. "Let me go get you help. They can't get away with treating you like this."

"Sis...please. I'm fine. It was just a minor car accident. Minor. Hey, look at me."

Her eyes turned and connected with his.

Johnny said, slowly, "I'm fine."

Her hand cupped his cheek. "You're bleeding."

She felt all her reserves of strength slipping away. Seeing John hurt shook her to her core. His blood made her only think of death...of having to put him in the ground, of losing him for good this time.

In a gun battle, she was unemotional. Ordering a hit, she was calm and collected. But seeing Johnny hurt...that wasn't business...that was as personal as it got for her. Her heart couldn't take it. It didn't help any that she had also just met Liz Webber for the first time in her life. Claudia had seen plenty of pictures of her, and video footage, and heard secret recordings of her and Jason together at the overlook, but never had she actually lay eyes on the woman till today.

The woman that gave birth to Jason's son. The woman who was good enough, in God's eyes, to raise two children.

The second Liz had stepped into the cubicle, Claudia saw red flash behind her eyes and thought_ That's the stupid bitch that threw Jason out of his own kid's life. _She started cussing her out, over Johnny not getting faster treatment, but the anger also was for Jason and for the fact that Liz had a child with him...a son...while Claudia only had medical records that showed the day her unborn baby died.

Suddenly the curtain opened and Spinelli was there. "Greetings! The Jackal does not wish to intrude but I did hope to ascertain if there may be any way I could be of assistance to you while you're in this time of suffering and pain."

Johnny said "We're fine, man. Thanks."

Spinelli looked at Claudia. "Does that go for Vixenella also?"

"Its sweet of you to ask. I'll be all right when the quacks in this joint finally get off their asses and treat my brother."

"Yes, well, it does seem to be an extremely busy night here. The Jackal assumes that it is good news that John does not require immediate treatment. I can see though that you are still quite fearful for his health and...I hope you do not mind my interference...but The Jackal called Stone Cold to come and be with you at this distressing time."

Claudia said "You really didn't have to do that."

She had gotten very good at surviving on her own. Only lately, now that Trey lived in Port Charles and she had John back, did Claudia really have multiple people who cared about how she was doing. In Italy, she had Uncle Rudy and that was all. He was a good man but not overly emotional. It was odd to hear_ I love you _everydaynow from John and to hear that she was someone's best friend from Trey and to have a sweetheart like Spinelli look out for her. Very odd indeed. Claudia wasn't sure she could handle so many people feeling so much for her at the same time. And then there was Jason...the only man on earth who made her absolutely crazy...sometimes in the worst way possible but sometimes in the best. She hadn't even been home two months, but suddenly it felt like she had a real life again. She was more than just a chick with a gun and dreams of being The Boss now.

She was the woman who could handle anything...but could she handle feeling this much?

XXXXXXXXXXX

Jason jogged into General Hospital and took in the chaotic scene in the ER. Seeing a blonde nurse, he asked "Where can I find John Zacchara?"

"Let me look here." She typed on the computer for a moment. "He's in cubicle three but only family can go back there. You can have a seat in the waiting area."

Jason nodded at her. She hurried off to treat more patients and Jason headed straight for cubicle three.

He pulled back the curtain and found Johnny laying on a gurney, Claudia holding his hand and Spinelli babbling about putting them in his next video game.

Jason looked at Claudia and could tell she was extremely on edge. "Got a minute?"

She stood up and kissed John's head. "I'll be right back and I will get you some help. Count on it."

Claudia followed Jason into the hallway, and around the corner, so they could find some privacy. He touched her arm. "Is he okay?"

"He's fucking bleeding from the head!"

"He didn't look that bad."

"They say he just needs some stitches. But he's last on the list in this place. I'm not putting up with it either. I'll tell you that right now."

"How did he get hurt?"

"Driving his car too fast, again. He needs to slow his ass down before he ends up..." the word died on her tongue before she could get it out.

Jason bent down a little so they were eye to eye. "He's alive and he's gonna be treated and released soon. You could have called me, you know, if you needed me here. "

"Why would I need you here?"

"You're upset."

"I can handle it. I don't need you rushing to hold my hand like I'm a little girl. I'm not."

He let out a long frustrated breath. "I know that."

"Then why did you come running like you thought I was her...that stupid fucking nurse who can't do anything without a man holding her hand. I'm not her!"

"Don't bring her into this."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"You're upset right now and I get that. But don't take it out on me. You want to know why I came here?" He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. "For this." Jason wrapped his other arm around her waist and hugged her. She stayed stiff for a long moment and then she started to slowly relax against him.

Claudia would never need a hero. But she would always need someone to care about her. He cared. Right or wrong, he did and he wanted her to know that without a doubt.

Claudia's lips found his in a sweet and tender kiss that surprised Jason. He found himself deepening the kiss, not caring that they were in the hospital hallway, only caring that she needed him right now.

Until they heard a woman gasp. Breaking apart, Jason saw Liz standing there, holding a chart.

Coming up: Claudia has a loss of faith


	87. jaudia, eighteen

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Eighteen**

**December 20****th****, 2007**

Claudia hadn't wanted to look needy in Jason's eyes so she acted hard when he showed up at General Hospital, after Johnny's car accident. But when Jason pulled her into a hug, all her walls fell down, and she brought her lips to his in a soft, tender kiss.

She worried maybe it was too emotional for him but he pulled her even closer. She was lost in the feel of him when they heard a woman gasp. Breaking apart, Claudia fumed at the sight of Liz Webber.

Lizsaid "Um...I was just coming to stitch up your brother's wound, Ms. Zacchara. If you'll excuse me both." She hurried of with her head down.

Claudia smirked and murmured "Stings doesn't it, bitch."

Jason gave her a hard look. "Don't call her that again."

"If you want her...go after her!"

"I don't want her."

"You sure about that?"

He grabbed her hand and said "Not here." Jason led her down the hall, till he spotted an empty patient room. He took her inside and closed the door. "Do not call her names. You got it?"

"I can't believe you are fucking protecting her! After all she took from you. Unbelievable."

"You know that our lifestyle is no place for kids. You know that!"

"Fine. I know that. But she should have never been up in your bed if she didn't want to risk it."

"I can't have anyone finding out the truth, Claudia. I'm trusting you to keep a secret that can cost my son his life. That means you can't lose it and scream at Elizabeth."

"I can handle it."

"Good."

"Tell me one thing, though. Was it a one night stand or did you try to make it work with her? Did you love her?"

"What does it matter? I don't love her now."

"So you did... that's fucking wonderful. Good to know." She headed for the door.

He grabbed her arm and halted her steps. "I wanted to love her...I wanted a life with her...I wanted better for Jake than I gave Michael. But I couldn't get any of that cause she doesn't fit in our lifestyle. It nearly killed me to lose so much this last year...but its all gone...they are all gone...so if you can't deal with my past...say so now. Cause I'm not doing that ever again. Spending months thinking I can have something I can't."

"What do you want me to say? You just told me I'm your second fucking choice...AGAIN. Or am I your third? Carly, Liz and then me. Wow. I can't believe I've been so stupid over you." She shook loose of him and headed for the door.

"Do not walk out of here like this."

"Why shouldn't I, Jason? If you could have Liz...you wouldn't be with me. I figured you hated that bitch for keeping your kid from you but you don't. And I don't play second to anyone." She grabbed the door.

"Antonia..."

Claudia let out a shaky breath and looked over her shoulder at him. She was running on pure adrenaline and emotion.

Jason said "Anything I felt for Liz is dead now. You walk out and you're throwing us away for nothing."

Slowly she turned to face him. "You ever touch her again and I'll kill you...just so you know."

"I'm not going to."

"I seriously hate that bitch."

"Then stay away from her. And remember...when you call her that...all you do is hurt me...cause you're talking about the woman who had my kid. Just leave Liz and leave Carly out of us. I don't want to talk about all that over and over...all that I lost."

"You lost your kid for life...how can you live with that?"

Jason walked over to her and raised his hand to cup her cheek. Instead of answering aloud, he kissed her and Claudia realized that she was one who he needed to pull him toward a future free from the heart clenching pain of the past.

She needed him for the exact same thing. It just wasn't so easy for her to admit to.

XXXXXXX

Claudia went back into the cubicle with Johnny, just as Liz walked out. Jason followed her over to nurse's station. "Will he be released soon?"

"Just as soon as a doctor signs off."

"Good. Thanks for taking care of him."

"Its my job."

Jason nodded and started to walk away.

Liz called out his name. She flashed him a _I hate to bother you_ look and walked out from behind the nurse's station. She softly said to him "I know its none of my business...but I obviously saw you with that woman."

"Her name is Claudia."

"Right. Claudia...well...the news is full of stories of her and her family and...her father is the one who almost killed both me and you at the Black and White Ball...and she's just so...harsh...to everyone around here, me especially."

"She's upset about her brother."

"That's no excuse for her behavior." Liz's eyes darted back and forth. She blurted out "Do you think she's right for you? Really?"

"Yes. I do."

With that Jason turned and walked away from Liz, heading back to the cubicle to see Claudia, Spinelli and John.

Jason knew that logically it made little sense for him to date Claudia. Her father had made their families sworn enemies. But there was no way he was letting someone as insane of Anthony Zacchara dictate to him who he could have in his heart and in his bed. Jason hadn't fallen in love with Claudia in Italy but he let her in...she got under his skin and she knew things about him that most other chicks never would. She saw him in the days after he lost Carly...she saw him suicidal and didn't flinch...she saw him cold and didn't run...she saw him broken and tried to heal him...she made him smile and do things like toss pennies in a fountain...shit he would never have done otherwise. Hell, she wouldn't have either. She _only_ did that for him. Cause he needed it. He needed hope...and she gave it back to him.

She even let him do the one thing she feared most: break her into pieces and leave her shattered. She basically gave all her heart away just so that his could feel only a small fraction better. He could never repay her for that sacrifice. He knew what he cost her...he realized it on their last day in Italy...and till this day he could remember the haunted look he left in her eyes. She lived without love for seven long years all because he refused to give it to her. She had focused on business and made a name for herself, until plenty of dangerous men around the world shivered in fear at the mere mention of Claudia Antonia Zacchara.

She could handle his lifestyle, but more than that...she could handle him. The knowledge of that made Jason's blood heat up. There was nothing hotter to him than a badass chick who didn't back down for no one. The women he had loved the deepest and hardest in his life were all that type. The others...they all ran when he turned just a little too ruthless or honest or cold for them. Claudia wouldn't run though. She's simply tell him to get his shit together before he pissed her off and made her walk out on his ass.

But Jason didn't want her walking away from him. Not anytime soon at least. It felt too damn good to be with her. Too right. Too much like what he didn't think he could have ever again.

Anyone looking at Claudia would say she was bitter, broken and deadly. But only Jason knew that Claudia also was something else...she was the one who gave him hope at the two lowest points in his life- after losing Carly, and then this year after losing Leticia, Emily and any right he had to see Jake. Every time he hit rock bottom...there was Claudia. Just standing in the same room with her made him think about life instead of death, sex instead of mourning, tomorrow instead of yesterday.

Any woman who could do all that...he would break the rules for and cross the line. He did it before in his life. He broke every rule and crossed every line for Carly, and never regretted doing that, only regretted not doing more of it. So this time, with Claudia, he would take what he wanted and tell the world to fuck off if they don't like it. He's Jason Morgan and she's Claudia Zacchara and they don't have to answer to anyone.

XXXXXXX

**Hours later**

**Crimson Point**

Claudia ordered her staff to bring Jason a beer. She poured herself a bourbon. The maid brought in Jason's drink, gave it to him and left. Claudia told him "I get why you showed up at the hospital but seriously I can take care of my brother on my own."

"You don't have to anymore."

Claudia gave him a long look and then smiled. "Look at you...just look at you. Being all protective."

A small grin tugged at the corner of his lips.

She walked over and sat next to him. "I'm not used to this. To having back up."

"You'll get used to it."

"A couple of weeks of sleeping together...you don't owe me anything."

"None of this is about what I owe you. Its about what I want to do."

"You want your life all mixed up with mine?" Claudia asked.

He gave her a look that said _Isn't that obviously_.

She leaned close to him. "I hope you know what you are freaking getting yourself into, Jason." Her lips brushed against his. He lifted his hand and ran it into her hair, holding her head in place, as their kiss quickly grew more intense.

Claudia pulled back and searched his eyes. Her man. The only one she ever wanted. He was back in her world again...and finally it was starting to feel like this time she would get to keep him for good too.

**Coming up: last chapter. Christmas and then a spring shoot out.**


	88. jaudia, nineteen

**Bittersweet Symphony**

**Part Nineteen**

**Montreal**

**December 26th, 2007**

Jason and Claudia spent Christmas day apart.

He went to have dinner with Sonny, Kate, Jax, Carly and the boys at Greystone, and then stopped by the Quatermaine mansion and saw Edward for a few minutes. He waited on the patio till Monica, Tracy and Luke left the room before going inside to speak briefly with his grandfather. Jason knew Monica was still in too much pain to want to deal with him.

He ended the night by breaking into Liz's house- while she was at Audrey's having dinner with Lucky, Cameron and Jake- and leaving a present for his youngest child in his bedroom. Jason knew it was against all the rules him and Liz decided on about Lucky being the other father Jake knew, but Jason just wanted to know in his heart he didn't forget Jake on that day...he had given gifts to Michael, Morgan, Spinelli, Carly, Sonny, and even Lulu ( who Carly said needed more love than anyone else in the world and that they had to make sure she got it) and Jason couldn't see not giving one to Jake.

Claudia spent her day with Johnny and Trey. They went to the gun range because Claudia told Trey his very life depended on getting good at shooting .They had dinner at The Cosmopolitan Hotel and exchanged gifts. Then Johnny headed off to hook up with Lulu and Trey said he was going to hit Jake's Bar- because any chick alone on a holiday was easy to get into bed.

She went back to the mansion and late that night Jason came over to pick her up. They headed to her family jet and flew to Canada, staying in Carly and Jax's hotel there. Claudia still had very bitter feelings toward Carly but she knew the woman was now a part of her life, as long as Claudia was with Jason and she planned to always be with Jason...whether he knew that yet or not. She didn't need to be his wife or the mother of his children or his best friend...she needed to be the one he wanted even though it would have been smarter, and easier, and less painful not to. The one he kept by his side through the bullets flying and the tears falling and screaming matches and the anger and the heartache and the hot sex and the laughs- the one he beat the odds with.

As soon as they got in the hotel room they started kissing and stripping off their clothes, tumbling into bed together. The next morning, Jason ordered breakfast and they shared it in bed. Claudia asked him to grab her over night bag,. He handed it to her. She pulled out a wrapped present for him.

"Here you go," she said, smiling. "Merry Christmas."

He took the package and before he even unwrapped it, he felt the weight of it and the texture and said "A gun."

Jason opened it to find a very hard to get gold plated laser sighted handgun.

He asked "How did you get this through customs?"

"I had a guy bring it by last night after you went to sleep. I went down to the lobby and got it from him. You'll have to ship it back home but I'm sure you can handle that. You like it?"

"Very nice." He kissed her.

She ran her fingers through his hair, holding him close to her even as he broke the kiss. "Jason...this is good. You and me. Its good, right? You think so too?"

"Yeah, its good."

A soft smile curved her lips, the most gentlest he had ever seen on her, as she breathed out "Good."

He moved away from her and went to his leather jacket, which lay on the back of chair, across the room. He took out a ring box and came back to the bed.

Her eyes watched him intently. They hadn't even said_ I love you _to each other yet. She just couldn't believe he was about to go there. Her voice shook when she asked "What are you doing? You're not...you're not. Don't...I don't do that, okay?"

"I've heard nothing but what you don't do from the start." He smiled. "Why don't you just live and figure out what you can do along the way?"

Her eyes searched his. She ordered, softly, "Do not open that box."

"I don't take orders from you."

She smiled, slightly. Her lips quivered. "I'm not getting engaged to you..." she whispered, her words shaky.

Jason placed the box in her hand. "Its not an engagement ring. I don't know that I can get married again. I'm not sure...right now. And the last thing I would do is build up your hopes just to crush them like I did in Italy."

Her eyes watched his intently.

He went on "Down the road...we'll figure out if we can go there or not, okay? But I still need to give you this today. So...go ahead...check it out."

With slightly shaking hands she opened the box to find a ruby and diamond ring. "Its beautiful...you got great taste...but then again you're dating me so I knew that already."

She took it out of the box and lifted it closer to her eyes to look at. His hand closed over hers, stopping her. "There's an inscription...I wanted to warn you, Claudia," he had finally started to call her the name nearly everyone else used, but in bed it was and would always be Antonia "So you're not surprised by it later...okay?"

Claudia nodded. He let go of her hand. She read the words carved inside the ring:

Baby Boy Morgan 8-15-2000

The date was when they met, and probably when they conceived their child as they used no protection that first time but did every time afterwards.

Tears spilled from her eyes. Her breath became ragged.

Jason said "I will never forget that we made a child together. This ring isn't meant to be something you look at and remember all we lost...look at it and remember our son. He was loved and he'll be with us always...do you like it or does it only remind you of something too hard to think about?"

"I love it. I can't believe you...I just didn't know he meant as much to you as he does me. You never knew till a month ago so I thought maybe...a miscarriage seven years ago...you just wouldn't feel it like I did."

"I can't say I feel all you did. You're his mother and you carried him inside of you. But...for a second there in my apartment when you told me your were pregnant...I thought he had been born healthy and he was in Milan with your uncle. I thought I had another son...one I know I shouldn't have wanted to bring into my lifestyle, I do know that, but nothing changes the fact that for that one or two seconds...I couldn't have been happier or more excited or more grateful for you giving me a son. And even though he did not make it...I still want to honor that he did exist."

He slid the ring on her finger. Then he kissed the ring. Jason straightened and Claudia caught his mouth in a sensual kiss filled with emotion. She pulled him down on top of her on the bed and then said words she had never before said in her whole life "Make love to me."

XXXXXXXXXX

**April 24****th**** , 2008**

They were pinned down in a small shack with a hitman outside intent on killing them. Jason and Claudia were sitting next to each other on the floor, low enough so that if bullets came in the window they would get hit.

She said "It has to be my father behind this."

"He's a fucking dead man."

"The only question is who will put the first bullet in him, you or me. That is if we live through this night and get the chance."

She had been driving home from dinner at The Metro Court when the brakes in her SUV failed and someone started shooting at her. She called Jason and ten minutes later he was there but they ended up pinned down in a ravine together because it was too dark to find the shooter quickly. Then they made their way to the shack.

Jason said "We're living through this."

Claudia said "We're almost out of bullets. Face facts, we're screwed. You're about to die and its all my fault. I turned out to be the worst thing to ever happen to you . Me and my psycho Daddy, that is."

A spray of automatic gunfire came through the window and wall. Jason pushed Claudia down and shielded her body. When the bullets stopped, she rolled over so that she was looking up at him. She said "Don't try and save me. Save yourself."

"You have Johnny to think of. Don't give up yet."

"I'm a pessimist. I see death and darkness and bloodshed around every corner on most days and today...it really is right outside our door."

"So that's it? You're done fighting? Don't you quit on me, Claudia."

"How can we get out of this then?"

"Just trust me. We've come way too far now for it to end like this."

He sat back up and so did she. Claudia said "I bet you never thought a few months of hot sex would cost you your life...oh wait a minute...you were having that hot sex with me so you probably saw this coming from the start."

"You need to focus."

"I am focused. I'm focused on telling you good-bye before we are brutally gunned down. I'm sorry that I ever came back into your life and did this to you. All you wanted was to take care of Carly and her kids and now I've made it so you have to leave them unprotected. For as much as I always hated her and resented those boys...please believe me, Jason, I understand how much your promise to them means to you...cause it's the same as the one I made to Johnny. Now I have to break that and leave him in my father's filthy clutches all because I didn't pack a better gun tonight...and extra ammo. Fucking piss poor planning,...that's what this boils down to. I should have known my father would not allow me to seize control of his organization without striking back."

"Do you want to live or not?"

"Of course I do!"

"Cause it sounds to me like you're ready to die. Well, I'm not. I have this chick that I'm in love with and I want a chance to spend more time with her. I'm not dying today and that means either can you."

She whispered "Since when do you love me?"

They had never said those exact words to each other before.

The gunman kicked down the door. Claudia and Jason spun toward him, laying on their backs , and unloaded their guns into him. He fell to the ground, dead.

Jason said "I figured he'd think we were dead if we didn't fire back for long enough." He got up and moved over to the dead body.

"You could have told me that."

"You would have thought of it yourself if you weren't spending all your time thinking about how doomed we were."

Claudia got on her feet. "Well, excuse the hell out of me, Jason. I happen to be in love for the second time in my life and since the first time lasted only nine days I was kinda upset to think this time was over!"

Jason gave her a long look.

Claudia felt extremely vulnerable so she stormed toward the door. "I'm gonna kill my fucking father tonight. You bury this body. I'll get the next one."

Jason grabbed her and stopped her movements, as she walked past him. She looked up and into his eyes. She said "Fine. You want to talk about it. Fine. Yeah...you're the only man I've ever been in love with. You happy now? You feel like a big man for getting that out of me?"

"Hey...I'm not your enemy."

"What day of the week is it? Maybe you are."

"I'm the man in love with you, Claudia Antonia. All of you. Even the part that is pissed off at me right now. Even when you cuss me out and even when you point a gun at me and say _I could put a bullet in you for this_...I still love you. If someone is coming after me in a gun fight, I want you by my side. I won't lie and say you can be everything to me...cause I can't be everything to you...you need Johnny and Trey...but I'm in this with you cause I want to be in this. You are not the worse thing to ever happen to me. You saved me in Italy...and you forgave me when you moved home...and this thing between us..." he leaned down till his lips almost touched hers "its not anywhere near over."

He kissed her, quickly.

She pulled back and said, with a small smile, "We have to stop flirting while standing over dead bodies. Its just wrong."

He smiled. "You want the feet or the head this time?"

"The feet." She moved to pick him up. "Jason..."

"Yeah?"

"I don't ever plan to give you up, just so you know."

He smiled. "Good that makes it a whole lot easier on me...cause I'm not giving you up. And I would hate to have to listen to you bitch me out and tell me to get lost every day till you finally realized...I'm not going anywhere this time. You got me."

"And I damn well plan on keeping you."

**THE END**

Thanks for reading!


	89. Someone Else's Girl CooperMaxieJohnny

Story premise from General_Hospital_ Fan, with my own interpretations of the idea.

Premise- _Cooper Barrett was sent back to Iraq. When he left he ended things with Maxie and refused to write her because it would be too painful. Several years go by and when he returns he finds she's moved on._

**Someone Else's Girl**

**Revisionist History**

A lot of his army buddies told him to never go back to Port Charles again. They all had access to the internet. They could see the pictures of Maxie and Johnny at parties in NYC. Living it up like east coast Hiltons.

It could kill a man to think that the woman he loved was moving on while he was out risking his life and limbs in a war.

But Coop had no one to blame but himself. He told her she was free. He broke her heart...refusing to let her keep him, right after she lost her sister...but he broke it for her own sake.

Cause if he left her behind and he died, while they were engaged and planning a great big future, that would have wrecked her for good. And if she cheated again...the shame, the guilt....the pain would overcome them both.

He ended things for her sake. Not his. Cause he needed his girl.

But that was the thing. She wasn't his girl anymore.

He realized that the first time he laid eyes on her kissing Johnny Zacchara. Standing in the shadows, on the top of the stairs on the docks, Cooper watched Maxie laugh and smile at her husband. Watched Johnny holding a blonde haired little girl. Watched Maxie tilt her head back. Watched Johnny lower his lips.

Any other man would have never came back. Never put himself through this. Cooper didn't know what he had been thinking...coming here. He just felt like he was floundering after he was discharged from the military. Like he didn't belong anywhere. Or more honesty, like he didn't belong to anyone anymore.

He could have went to see his Mom and Aunt. But who he really needed was Maxie....Logan...even Georgie. People who lived through the terror and horror of the Black and White Ball. People who knew what kind of man Cooper had became after Maxie fell for him. But sweet, innocent, naive, good Georgie was gone from the earth now. And Logan....he couldn't think about it. Wouldn't.

That just left Maxie. He needed her most. But he had been wrong to do this. To intrude on her brand new version of happiness. The one that didn't include him.

Cooper turned to walk away before Maxie saw him. His back was to her, as he slid deeper into the darkness, not making any sound at all, when he heard a sharp inhalation of breath from her.

She couldn't have heard him. She felt him.

"Coop."

Her voice was shaking, breaking in pieces on the one syllable word of his name. Slowly he turned around and walked into the light. "Hey. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have interrupted-"

He doesn't get out any more before she is running toward him and flinging herself into his arms, saying his name over and over, like he's come back from the dead. Its all he ever wanted.

Yet it makes it all so much worse. And he knows, in that moment, he is being even more reckless and headstrong and insane than Logan. Because he came back here. And he let himself see her. Knowing she was someone else's wife.

For a long minute, Maxie just holds him. Then she pulls back and stares at his face, smiling widely. He has lifted her right off her feet. He'd like to stay that way forever but he knows he can't.

Setting her down he tells himself to rip his eyes off her but he can't seem to make his body obey his mind. Finally Johnny clears his throat. Reality invades the moment.

"Hi. Good to meet you, man. I'm John Zacchara."

"John." Cooper nods. Shakes his hand.

He wants to hate him but he can't. Johnny took care of Maxie and for that Cooper will forever be grateful. He just wishes, more than anything else, he could have stayed around and taken care of his family himself....kept Logan alive....kept Maxie by his side....gave her that little blue eyed daughter she was holding. She looked like she could be theirs. She really did.

But looks could be deceiving. Cooper asks "And who is this little doll?"

"Elli," Maxie tells him. "After Spinelli. Remember him?"

"Sure thing. He's not somebody I could forget."

"He was really there for me when....well, anyway. We got tight."

"That's good."

John interrupts "This little angel is exhausted. We should go."

"Oh," Maxie says, her eyes darting back and forth between the two men. "Well how long are you home for? We should do lunch. I have an expensive account. Can you believe it? I work for a fashion magazine."

_I know,_ hethinks but holds the words in, just smiling at her, hoping the smile does not show too much of his broken heart.

John says "You stay. I can get her to bed myself."

"You sure?" Maxie asks.

He kisses her cheek. "Its fine. I'll wait up."

She doesn't say thank you with her lips but its there in her eyes. Cooper has to look away. The moment is too intimate and he can't stand to see it in living color. He turns to face the water.

Maxie and Johnny finish saying goodbye while Cooper zones them out. He wonders closer to the edge of the dock, swallowing hard. Eventually, he doesn't even know how long has passed, but she comes to stand next to him. The first thing she says when they are alone is "I'm sorry."

His head whips to the side, words of objection on his lips. She shouldn't have to apologize for loving Johnny. One phone call, one letter from Cooper could have stopped that from happening. He thought of doing that very thing every day but he knew the cost could be too great to her. He wouldn't leave her a widow so he could know she was all his.

Maxie speaks before Cooper can "For Logan. I don't know what snapped in him...maybe post traumatic stress from the war. It was like he was a different man that night. He was always an ass but he wasn't like that....Lulu did what she had to. But I know you loved him. I wish we could have taken better care of him...of each other...for you."

"You don't have a thing to feel guilty about. It was all the war. What happened to Logan, me...us...It made Logan hate that place, that fight, that sacrifice. But I don't. Because I think that being there evens out some of the other things I have done. I had to pay the price for my crimes....and now I have."

A long moment later she asks "So are you back for good then?"

He looks away. "I don't think that would be a very good idea."

"But-"

He smiles at her. "I came to see if you're happy."

Tears stream down her face. He wipes them away.

Cooper finishes "And you are...you were, earlier. I found out what I needed to."

"So that's it? You can stay this time...nothing is stopping you...but you're still leaving all your friends behind? Since Logan is gone, you are done with Port Charles. Over it, huh?"

"I'll never be completely over it."

Their eyes hold for a long time. Maxie steps closer to him. "Coop. I'm glad you made it back home. I really am."

"Elli is beautiful, Maxie. She's looks like the spitting image of you."

"Really? We always argue that she takes after her Dad."

"Either way, she's perfect. And your new job...that's fantastic."

"What about you? Are you going back to the police force?"

He looks at the water. "I don't know. I haven't gotten that far yet."

"So stay. Stay and figure it out."

He smiles sadly. "This time you can't talk me out of doing what I know is right."

"Like I ever could."

"You always could."

"Is that your way of saying I need to try harder right now? Because I will. I'll give you a million reasons why it can work if you stay here starting with-"

"No."

"Coop!"

He looks at her again. That beautiful face all scrunched up: frustrated, scared, happy to see him, and miserable all at the same time. He fell for that face at first sight. "Maybe it was wrong for me to show up here. I hope I didn't mess up things for you. But I won't be back again. So don't live your life looking over your shoulder for me...or at the past...and don't you dare hold onto guilt over Logan. Just take that great life you have and live it to the extreme, like I know you are capable of doing. That will be the best gift you could ever give me, okay?"

She swallows hard but nods. Her eyes are teary but no longer do they tears spill over.

He walks away without saying another word, makes it to the stairs, fights the urge to look back and then takes off running.

XXXXXXXX

Maxie doesn't make it home till the middle of the night. Johnny could wonder if she found herself in Cooper's hotel room or back seat of his rental car- but he doesn't.

He knows his wife. He knows she comes home to him, no matter what temptation is out there in the world.

She kicks off her high heels and heads over to the bed, looking worn out and weary, a little girl dressed up in a woman's clothes, her eyes red rimmed. "I went to see Sam."

"I figured."

She lays her head down on the pillow. She'll change later. Right then she just needs to be near him. "How is El?"

"Sleeping for hours now."

Maxie's eyes lock on Johnny's. They stare at each other. He wonders if he is second best in her eyes but he doesn't think he is. Even it he's mistaken though, he won't be noble and tell her to leave.

She belongs to him now. Her and her child bear his last name. He is the one who truly picked her up off the ground when she was scared out of her mind....pregnant with a heart condition and the belief she wasn't fit to be anyone's mother. Together they overcame the odds. Together they brought Elli into the world. Made a family. Made a home. A life.

A choice.

Johnny reaches out and brushes some hair away from her eyes. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Just hold me."

So he does. And they make it through another night.

He doesn't ask her to spill her secrets about what she said to Cooper. He doesn't have to know. Because him and Maxie share their own secrets. And they've come too far now to ever tell the truth.

At least that is what Johnny Zacchara is banking on. But he's been called crazy before. So who knows?

**The End**


	90. Don't Count the Costs, Lucky and Em

**SFF Prompt: Childhood Best Friends**

**Rebecca Shaw (Emily) and Lucky**

**Language warning.**

**Premise**: _She realizes that all along he was playing her....he really knew in his heart she was Emily but that the only way to get close to her was to pretend to believe she was Rebecca. So he did what he hates to do....he lied to her face, so he could have her back in the fight of her life against Helena Cassadine._

**Don't Count the Cost**

**August, 2009**

"You_ lied_ to me."

The way she says the words damn near breaks his heart. The whimper at the end that is drug from her soul. And the anger in her eyes...he's never been on the receiving end of that look before from her.

"Yeah, I did," he tells her. "And I would do it all again."

Her hand shoots out, slapping him hard across the face, the sound echoing in her small room above Kelly's. The same room Lucky once stayed in when he was trying to get back all his memories and figure out who the hell he was after Helena messed with his mind. But Emily couldn't remember that now.

In time she would know their whole story though, her whole past. If she couldn't recall it herself then he would tell her every bit of it...memory by memory...till she was whole again. There was nothing he would not do for her. Even make her hate him because he lied. If lies is what it took to get close enough to her to figure out what Helena did to Emily, then lies is what he had to tell.

Lucky flinches after the slap and grabs his face, on instinct, as his eyes stay locked on hers. He knew this day would come but he didn't know it would be so soon. If anyone would have asked him back in February he would have said that six months was a lifetime to keep up the charade of pretending Rebecca Shaw was anyone but his best friend Emily.

Now it feels like the time flew by.

With summer nearly gone, Helena has been in and out of town for months already. First in the shadows and then taunting them with notes, phone calls, grabbing Liz and having some goons hold her for a few hours, making sure that the people who would care most about what Helena could do (Lucky, Nikolas, Lulu, Alexis, Luke, Sam) would know that she could take another one of them and maybe never return them, or more than likely send them back damaged for life.

Through it all Lucky kept up the game. Telling Rebecca he believed she was not Emily, but that as long as Helena was after her, she needed to accept Lucky's help to stay alive. And she did. While she fell in love with him. She bought every lie.

He should hate himself. But he can't. Because he's always loved her, in so many small and big ways, and he would do even this...break her heart....to save her.

She runs her hands through her hair, turns her back on him, and starts shaking her head over and over, as if she is trying to really believe this is happening to her.

Lucky tells her "Look, we don't have time to get into this anymore now. You need to pack a bag."

When she doesn't move an inch, he pulls open her closet and takes out a suitcase. In a second Emily is grabbing it from him, forcefully yanking it away. When Lucky looks at her there are tears running down her face...seeing that makes his mouth go dry. For a second he is sure that she will never forgive him. All this time he hasn't let himself dare think about this part: the part where she could start to hate him.

"DON'T!" Emily yells "Don't touch my things! Get out! I want you out of here. Out of my life. All you ever wanted was her....not me. You wanted_ her._"

"You are her, Becca."

It will take a while to get used to calling her Em again, but Lucky knows he can. It doesn't matter what name she uses anyway. That's beside the point. Just like it doesn't matter what face she has. If Helena sent her back scarred or with plastic surgery or only one leg, Lucky would not care. He finds her beautiful but that's just the start of how he feels about her. Just a fraction.

He would have known her with a different face. Her eyes would be the same. And her heart. The softness she tries to hide now. And that laugh. He could be blind and know her if she laughed, touched his arm, leaned close. It this feeling that spreads through his chest. Making him feel like Superman. A feeling he chases with other women but never had to chase when it came to Emily.

He didn't have to try and be her hero. He simply was. Before. But now she wants nothing more to do with him.

"No," she tells him, as she throws the suitcase away from them. "I'm not her. That's something you've cooked up in your sick head. God. FUCK! I believed you. I fell for everything. I came on to you. I asked you out. I actually bought your story about moving out of your house while its on the market so it would be easier to sell it without your kids things cluttering up the place." She laughs bitterly. "You aren't even selling that house, are you? That was just so you could move across the hall here and stalk me."

"I know you're pissed off but-"

"This is disgusting. We're disgusting."

Lucky swallows hard. He picks up the suitcase, opens a door, and takes out jeans. Emily comes over and starts grabbing the clothes out of his hands. Lucky lets them go and takes a few steps back.

Emily is breathing heavily. She crouches down to pick up the jeans and just stays there, crouched down, holding them in her hands. "Just get out of my life."

"Helena-"

"I don't care about HELENA! Can't you get that through your head." She stands back up. "I have my own secrets. I was hired to impersonate your precious Emily. And, get this, I was terrified of you finding out because I thought....you would stop loving me." She laughs bitterly. "But you only ever loved her, not me. If I didn't look like her, tell me, would I still be able to get you off? Or is that the only thing that does it for you when it comes to me? Her face?"

"I didn't mean for it...us...to turn into this. To go there. I just didn't know how to slow us down without telling you the truth and I....wanted you. I love you."

"You love Emily."

"Please come with me before its too late."

Her head falls back and she laughs loudly, as more tears come out of her eyes. "Because Nikolas and Luke are hunting down Helena and she's gonna get so desperate that she'll kill me before I can rat her out? Get rid of my body and there's no proof I was ever anyone but Rebecca, right? RIGHT?"

"Yes."

"Go to the hospital. Please. Just go. Because you've lost your mind in grief over your friend. And....I don't want to see you like this. Not even now. So go get help. Get help so you can be a good dad to your boys. But whatever you do, leave me out of it because this....who we are...its stomach turning to me. I fell for you and hated myself because all I did was lie to you. And you used me because you were so desperate to have Emily back. Its beautiful, in a way. For you and Emily. But for me...Rebecca....its just sad. Because if I'm not her, I'll never be enough for you." Her voice was so thick with tears that it's shaking. She heads for the door to pull it open.

Lucky hurries after her, spins her around, and hugs her close, rubbing her back in a soothing motion. For a second she fights him but then she collapses against him. After a long moment of holding her while she cries, he cups her wet cheeks in his hand and tilts her face up to look at him. "It doesn't matter what you can remember. All that matters is the fact that I will do whatever it takes to protect you. Not only because of who you used to be to me....because of who you are right now, too. Because of then and now. Because I would know you anywhere."

"I'm not her," she whispers.

"I know you're scared."

"I wish you could have loved me for me." She pushes away from him.

"I should have told you the truth from the start. But then you would have treated me like you do Nikolas and the Quatermaines. I'd just be someone who made you feel guilty and....after how you looked at me that first day....how your eyes lit up for just me...I couldn't tell you. I couldn't lose that. I won't let you be out there all alone with Helena coming after you."

"Say I do go with you right now? And then later, when this is all over, I take a DNA test for you. And you find out that your Emily, the princess, is truly just bones now. That I'm the woman who lied and worked you and your friends and your kids....dragging out your pain for profit because that's what kind of bitch I am..."

"Helena only made you think that. Whoever hired you is on her payroll, you can bet on that much."

"Listen to yourself! You will do anything to convince yourself Emily is still alive!"

"Yes, I will!"

She grabs his arms. "But what if I'm just Rebecca? What if you could see scientific proof? Then what? Will you still cry for me? Will you beg me? Will you crawl on your knees for my forgiveness? Will you even want me in your bed anymore? Who am I to you if I'm not Emily? Was any of this about me at all?"

His hands come up to hold her jaw, as his lips drop down and capture hers in a kiss that he prays somehow shows her what he can't put into words. When he finally breaks the kiss, she is breathless.

Lucky tells her "Emily picked Nikolas. You picked me....believe me, you mean more to me than I can ever explain. And that is what kills me....that you had to suffer so much for this to all happen. And that you would ever think I took advantage of the situation when I was just....too weak to not make love to you when you finally wanted me most."

He had walked away from the feelings he had for her once. But this time he hadn't had the the option. Walking away would put her out there alone with a target on her and no one to watch her back.

That summer when she picked going back to Nikolas over Lucky, he had let her go with a bittersweet smile on his face. Because as long as she was happy, so was he.

(_And yesterday I knew just what you wanted  
When you came walking up to me with him  
So I told you that I was happy for you  
And given the chance I'd lie again_) (Tim McGraw)

Her hands come up and cover her face. Lucky wraps her in his arms again, then tells her. "Please come with me. Please. You can yell at me. Call me crazy. Think I'm the biggest loser in town for being convinced in my heart you're my best friend from childhood but......come with me....cause I can't walk out of here without you tonight. I've let you get hurt too many times in your life already. Not again. Not tonight. Hate me tomorrow but let me protect you tonight."

She stares in his eyes for a long moment, sniffles, sighs and then whispers "Okay."

Later, when they step into the hallway, he carries her bag. She still looks shaky but he knows that she will survive this. She's Emily. She can survive any nightmare and come out the other side with that shining smile of hers.

He's been by her side long enough to know that much. And he's missed her enough to know that, given the chance, he would lie again in a heartbeat.

Because when she whispered in his ear, one steaming hot night in July, "I've never felt this happy before," he actually closed his eyes and believed her. And for that moment, Emily was safe, happy, and in love.

All he ever wanted for her. And finally he was the man who gave her that. Maybe one day, when this madness was over, when she realized the truth about who she was, Lucky would make her smile another time.

She would forgive him for his mistakes. He would forgive her when she went back to his brother.

Because if she ended up, after all this pain, smiling.....he would consider it the perfect ending to the story he had to remember for the both of them.

_  
(Just to see you smile  
I'd do anything that you wanted me to_

_  
When all is said and done  
I'd never count the cost_

_  
It's worth all that's lost  
Just to see you smile_)

**THE END**


	91. The Boxer, GLO

**Author Note-** I'm working on another Glo story that will be posted when this one is done. But I'm thinking that one will be in the Give Me Tonight Series. Check out my profile for the storyline.

In the following story,Logan is around 26 and Georgie is around 22. She's in graduate school now. He's been in town nearly three years. This is just five chapters.

**The Boxer**

**Logan and Georgie, AU**

**Part 1**

"I hope you're kidding, Logan."

He should have known she wouldn't like it. Yet Georgie Jones had been the first person Logan Hayes wanted to tell his life changing news to. She was just one of his friends in Port Charles but somehow what she thought about him, and his life, mattered to Logan on a level he couldn't even explain, let alone admit aloud.

Not that Georgie understood what she meant to him. He doubted she did. Standing there with her hands on her hips, in the middle of Kelly's diner, Logan figured he had bigger issues to deal with right now than if she got all the reasons her opinion mattered so much to him.

"Nope," he said with an easy grin. "I'm not playing around. You're looking at a pair of hands that will soon be classified as lethal weapons. Now tell me that ain't just a little bit cool."

Georgie glared at Logan. "Cool?! What in the world would possess you to think this is even remotely a good idea?"

"Its a lot of money, doll."

"Money! You only have one face. Who cares about cash if you're hurt?"

"So you're saying you think I'll lose the fight then?" He had been offered the chance to start training to be a boxer after the owner of the gym where he worked out at had spotted him sparring with Cooper.

"I think you could lose your life. Don't do this."

"I didn't tell you to get your approval, darlin. I was just making conversation." Yeah right. He knew that was a lie but maybe she would buy it anyway.

Georgie threw up her hands. "Do what you want. You always do. I don't think you've ever once listened to my opinion on anything. Its like my words are going in one ear and coming out the other with you."

That wasn't true. He listened to her more than anyone. But he was stubborn. He still did whatever the hell he wanted at the end of the day.

She went on, grabbing her purse off the counter, "I have class. I don't have anymore time to waste talking to a man that thinks he knows everything already."

Logan grabbed her wrist, gently, stilling her steps as she went to leave. "Hey."

She looked in his eyes, breathing shakily.

He said "I want you at my first fight." His voice was low and demanding.

"And I want you to give up this whole idea before there is any first fight. We all want stuff, Logan, but it looks like to me that neither one of us are going to get what we want around here."

With that Georgie jerked away and walked out. Logan turned and watched her leave. To his way of thinking he knew why she dated Matt Hunter and not him. Matt would never piss her off like this.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Sam McCall can have him!_ Georgie ranted silently, as she left Kelly's.

All Logan did was frustrate her. Make her want to kiss him. Make her want to scream at him. Make her want to hold him when he was sad. Make her wonder why he ever started dating Sam and if he would ever get tired of her. Make her want to drag him to PCU and sign him up as a medical student. Make her want to beg him to just slow down for five seconds, look around, and see his life was not working out right now. Bouncing from job to job, always fighting with Sam, still getting into it with Scott if his father dared to say something Logan took the wrong way- years after they supposedly reconciled.

He was just so angry most of the time and it killed her to see it. Because when he was alone with her he wasn't like that. There were times he was the sweetest man she ever met. He'd come to her house and hang out for hours- just like Spinelli did, or Brooklyn, or Lucas. But Georgie's heart could never race for them like it did for Logan. He'd help her give Popsicle a bath, baby sit Emma, mow the law, whatever she happened to be doing when he showed up. He'd always use the same excuse that his neighbors were being loud again and he needed somewhere to hide out till they quieted down.

And Georgie loved it. Every single time he stopped by, she simply loved it. She loved it so much that when Matt asked her to move in with him she had said no, the word flying off her tongue.

It didn't take Matt long to tell her that they just didn't want the same things anymore. He wanted to marry her within a year....she wanted some other guy.

Hearing that Georgie's heart broke for Matt, and for herself. It hurt to know that Matt could see the hunger in her eyes when she looked at Logan. She thought she had pushed past her crush on Logan when he hooked up with Sam, and that's why Georgie first agreed to date Matt. Now thirteen months later she was dumped on her ass, Logan was still screwing Sam and Georgie was not one step closer to being over that aggravating man.

She climbed into her car and called Cooper.

"Hey."

"Hi. Did you hear what he thinks he's doing now?"

"Let me guess, Logan told you about his new career."

"You call that a career? I call it a suicide mission. Stop him, Coop. Please."

"It could be good for him."

"Not you too."

"I know its dangerous but he needs somewhere to put all his aggression. And, if he starts winning, it pays great."

"Coop!"

"I'll talk to him. You know I'd rather he go back to school, too."

"Thank you."

"Listen, Maxie just mentioned to me today that things ended with you and Matt a few weeks back. And you haven't wanted anyone to know...so...are you doing all right?"

"Matt's at a medical conference in Vegas. So I knew no one would expect to see him around. I just wanted to take some time to get okay with it before I starting telling people."

"And are you okay now?"

"I'd be better if Logan didn't think getting punched in the face was a good way to make a buck."

"He's hard to get through to. You know that as well as I do. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to get him to come around to what you think."

"You mean, like I usually do?"

"Yeah."

Georgie sighed. "Just talk to him please. Does he even have insurance? What happens if he gets seriously hurt?"

"I'll talk to him."

"Thank you."

He asked "And why is Logan with Sam again? And not you."

"It must be because she's cover model beautiful."

"So are you."

"I have class, Cooper. Bye."

She hung up.

_Coop's a sweet guy. But if he really thinks that Logan would give up gorgeous, TV star Sam for plain book worm me, then he's lost his mind,_ Georgie thought_. Just like Logan has if he thinks boxing is a good idea._


	92. the boxer, part two

****

Note- Thanks for reading about Glo!

The Boxer

Logan and Georgie, AU

Part Two

September 2010

Logan nodded at Coleman as he walked into Jake's a week later.

He really owed the bartender big time. He had called Logan to tip him off that Georgie was down at the bar, throwing back shots, which Coleman had never seen her do before. He had heard Logan, Patrick and Cooper talk about Georgie- along with Maxie, Robin, Sam, Brooklyn, Serena, all the chicks they cared about- so he figured one of them better come drag Georgie home before some bar fly took advantage.

Coleman had told Logan "Yo, man, I should probably call Barrett cause ain't he just about her brother-in-law? That wedding is fast approaching, right, man? But you always seemed the one with the sweet spot for the Commish's baby girl so...you might be interested to know she tying one on pretty good down here."

Logan spotted Brooklyn sitting next to Georgie. Since Brooklyn was Cooper's sister Logan shared a special bond with her. He walked over to Brooklyn and brushed a kiss against her forehead."Hey, beautiful."

Brooklyn gave him a look that said: _I tried to stop her_. "Hey, Lo."

Logan walked around Brooklyn and took a seat next to Georgie, on a stool. "What you drinking?"

"I don't know. What's this called again, Coleman?"

"That would be tequila you're throwing back."

"Tequila," Georgie told Logan and lifted another shot.

Logan grabbed the glass. "Whoa, whoa, hold up. How many of these have you had?"

"I'm not a baby. I can have as many as I damn well please. Coleman, tell him I can have as many as I want."

Coleman threw up his hands. "I just pour, darlin. Not referee."

Georgie looked at Brooklyn. "You tell him to go away. Tell him to go box something!"

Brooklyn, who only had one shot, said "Sorry. Can't do that. I need to get home and get some sleep. I have meetings early tomorrow for L and B." Brooklyn looked at Logan. "Can you get her home for me?"

"Sure thing."

"No. No, sure thing," Georgie said. "I'll take a cab."

Logan asked "You still mad at me, doll?"

She glared at him. "Noooooooo." She opened her eyes wide and drug out the word.

He tried not to laugh.

Brooklyn said "Well this first time getting you drunk has had its moments, that's for sure." She pulled out her phone. "Smile! This one's going on Facebook. All right see you two around."

Logan nodded at her as she left. Georgie glared at him.

She said "She called you. I don't know when she did it but she called you...no, she sent you a text, right? Just admit it." She pointed her finger at him. "I'm on to you!" She grabbed his nose. "You don't fool me....God, this is a great nose, Logan, really....really great. Don't break it with that stupid boxing idea."

He chuckled and took down her hand. "Tell me, doll, that I ain't driving you to become a lush now. I know you ain't happy about my new career but you aren't drinking over it, are you?"

"Nooooooo. Of course not. Noooooooo."

"So what brought on this then?"

"This? This is just....getting over the past...drinking. I figured I was due. Its not every day that the man who wanted to marry you comes home with a new wife, is it? After two weeks away? I mean, is it, Logan? Is that an everyday occur....a current," she gave up on trying to say occurrence and substituted "thing?"

"What are you talking about? Matt went and married somebody else behind your back? What the fuck is wrong with that guy? He said he loved you!"

"Sure thing, right? Isn't that what you say? Well it was a sure thing with Matt till it wasn't...till he wanted me to live with him and I wanted....something else...and so he married her! A stranger! But that's cool."

She reached for another shot. Logan watched her down in. He downed one then ground out "I'm killing him the first chance I get."

"He's a great man!"

"How can you say that?"

"You don't understand anything. You never will. Go home to Sam! Coleman get me a cab."

Logan said "Just let me take you home. Come on. You don't hate me now, do you? Just cause I won't go back to college like you want."

She softly said "I'll never hate you."

"Then can I take you home?"

Coleman said "Take the ride. It takes forever to get a cab out here."

"Fine! But don't think I'm okay with your choices because I'm not, Logan....sure thing you can pick whatever you want...but I get to be upset. Cause I care!"

"Okay. That's good to hear, doll."

She stood up. She stumbled slightly as she tried to grab her purse and coat. Logan was on his feet in a second. He swooped her into his arms and carried her to his car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

When they pulled into her driveway, Georgie's head rested against the cool glass of the passenger side window. Logan had to pull over halfway home so she could throw up.

She moaned "This is so embarrassing."

"Don't worry about it. Everyone gets wasted and stupid sometimes."

"Don't be nice. That makes it all worse."

"Why is that?"

"Matt was nice and look at what I did to him." She straightened and grabbed her purse and coat.

"Look what that jackass did to you. He better hope I don't run into him anytime this century."

"Promise me you won't even talk to Matt. Promise!"

"Come on....somebody has to make that jerk pay for hurting you like this."

"I broke up with Matt. Or...I caused him to break up with me....or...something like that but.....we were over so...he can marry whoever. I have to go. Thanks for the ride." Georgie looked at him for a long moment and then quickly added "Don't become a boxer. That idea sucks."

She climbed out of the car. Logan jumped out and hurried over to help her inside. He lifted her into his arms.

Georgie said "Really! Really, you don't have to carry me."

"It ain't no trouble."

"Stop being nice. Its so much worse when you're nice...and so much better...and so much harder....God, my head hurts."

"You'll be all right. You just need aspirin, water and sleep."

They got to the front door and Logan set her down. She found her keys. He unlocked the door. The house was dark. He said "Doesn't look like your dad is home."

"He's working midnights this week. Something about a sting...something ...or another...something. I don't know. Ask me when I'm sober. Oh my God, I'm drunk! I'm officially, throwing up in the bushes, drunk and you're here...seeing me drunk..."

"Better me than someone you want to impress, right?"

She tried to laugh but it sounded strangled. Georgie went inside and sunk onto the stairs, laying on them. "Good night."

Logan closed the door. He chuckled. "Darlin, I can't leave you there to sleep."

"I'm fine."

"Come on. Lets get you up to bed."

"No, I'm good here. This is comfy."

"You know me. I'm hard headed. I'm not leaving till you're tucked into bed. So come on."

She left him haul her to her feet, pick her up again, and carry her to the bathroom. He set her down. "You brush your teeth. I'll go get you something to sleep in."

"You're going to look in my drawers?"

"I'll close my eyes and just grab something. Don't tell me you're shy now? Ain't we old friends?"

"Just get a t-shirt or something."

"Sure thing."

Twenty minutes later she was wearing a huge PCU t-shirt that hung to her knees. She wore it around the house to clean and that's how Logan recognized it hanging in her closet. Georgie slowly walked in her room, holding her head and said "Turn off that light please. Its blinding."

She sunk onto the bed as he flipped off the light. Logan crouched next to the bed. "You'll be all right, girl."

"One of these days, maybe."

"Matt's not worth all this."

She let out a bitter laugh and closed her eyes. "Bye...I'm just going to go to sleep and forget everything now."

Logan watched her for a long moment before he said "I hate seeing that he's made you this upset. You sure you don't want me to knock his block off? Cause it sounds like a fine idea to me."

She burrowed deeper beneath the blankets. "He probably wants to knock your street off."

"Block."

She mumbled from underneath the covers. "That's want I said."

"Why would he want to do that, doll?"

"Cause of my... cause...." she murmured.

A long moment passed.

"Georgie...doll?" Logan sighed, realizing she had fallen asleep. He sat down on the floor, with his back against the bed, and decided to stick around in case she needed him some more.

Note- Just like in my other stories Cooper's parents are a Julia Barrett and Ned Ashton. Did you know though that Julia once dated Jerry (I'm pretty sure). Now that could have been a storyline Guza did. Jerry hired Cooper knowing that Cooper was his son. But Jerry is too gross for me to write as Cooper's dad.


	93. the boxer, part three

****

The Boxer

Logan and Georgie, AU

Part Three

**September 2010**

Georgie woke up groaning, with a headache pounding a drum beat into her brain. She rolled over, opened her eyes, and yelped softly at the sight of Logan laying on her floor with a stuffed animal under his head as a pillow.

Her eyes widened. She sat up. Her hand went to hold her aching head. She nudged Logan with her foot. He jerked awake. "Hey."

"Why are you asleep in my bedroom?"

He yawned. "Sorry about that. I meant to leave but I guess I just crashed out instead."

"You brought me home last night, right? After I was drinking at Jake's."

"Yeah," Logan sat up. "Is it all foggy? That happens when tequila gets involved."

"Is that what I was drinking? They should rename it poison. It'd be closer to the truth."

Logan stood up. "You'll recover. Believe me. Everybody survives their first hangover."

"Thanks for taking care of me."

"Well if I don't, who would? Not that doctor asshole, marrying some other chick, loser, creep, that I'm gonna hurt if I see him, prick, thinks he knows everything, liar, said he would take care of you, dead man if he gets around me-"

"Enough."

"I'm just saying."

"Its sweet of you to want to protect my honor but I broke Matt's heart not the other way around. And I feel bad that he went and married some stranger cause he was hurt. But I can't think about that anymore right now cause I need a shower and lots of aspirins."

"You shower. I'll make coffee."

"No, Logan, you really should get home. My dad will be here in an hour."

"So we have an hour then, right? I'm good to stay. I'll use the bathroom downstairs while you go get your shower, girl."

"But...but..."

"Do you want me to carry you in there? Cause I don't mind. You know me, I ain't never complained about wrapping my arms around a pretty girl."

She blushed. "What about Sam?"

"What about Sam? She's not on my mind. Why is she on yours?"

"Did you call her? Where does she think you slept last night?"

"Oh, that. We'll she don't care, I'm sure. Seeing as she kicked my ass out last weekend."

"What? Why? You didn't say anything."

"You know me and her. We break up every other week."

"So you'll work it out then."

"Not this time."

"Why not? What's different?"

"Its an ugly story, girl."

"I want to hear it."

"I don't think you do and I really need coffee. Now scoot to your shower before I do carry you in there, stick you under the faucet and turn it on full blast. Don't tempt me. You know how rowdy I can get."

He walked out of her room, leaving her staring after him and thinking only one thing : He's single. He's single. He's single. He's single and I'm single again too now.

She had waited more than a year for this moment. But now what would she do about it? Shower, change and stop feeling so gross would be a good start.

XXXXXXXXXXX

He liked taking care of her. He always had.

Logan knew Georgie for just three years but damn if he hadn't forgotten the feeling of what life was before her. Or he wanted to fully forget at least- the messed up childhood, the crazy war he fought in, the rage that surged in his veins, the ways he destroyed everything good.

She was good. So good. And he didn't ever have the urge to destroy her.

Georgie was his friend...the one he always looked out for...and the one he could barely make it through a day without. This guy who was shiftless and lazy would get up early on Sundays to mow her lawn, while Sam slept in and thought Logan was out at the gym. And he'd cruise by Georgie's house in the afternoons, after whatever crap job he had that month ended, to see her for twenty minutes before going home....saying he just wanted to tell her this or that....wanted to stretch his legs and figured walking that dog of Maxie's was a good enough way to do it....that his apartment building was noisy and he couldn't take it.

The truth was he couldn't take not seeing her.

He'd been cheating on Sam with Georgie for months now- in his heart. And then his stupid mouth went and started saying Georgie's name in his sleep. One time and Sam laughed it off. Two times and she was cursing his name and asking what the fuck his deal was. The third time it was a screaming, accusing and just about on the phone to Georgie when Logan fessed up that all his feelings were one-sided, Georgie had no clue about his crush on her. That's when Sam threw Logan's clothes out the window- and his laptop, and his phone, and his game system. None of that survived the three story fall.

He showed up at Cooper's looking like a sad sight: in his boxers, boots, and holding a pile of clothes in his arms.

Logan hadn't bothered to tell Georgie any of this. Not when she had that doctor she was half crazy about. But now there was no doctor. Hunter married someone else. Logan thought he had to be nuts to ever let Georgie go.

His loss.

If Logan ever got a shot with her he wouldn't let her go. Because she made his day brighter. She made his life better. She really was the sweetest, prettiest, best woman he ever met.

Still he doubted he'd get a chance. He was officially in the friend zone with her. He would kill to be her 'break glass in case of emergency' guy- cause he'd call this an emergency and they'd be hitting the nearest bed they could find in three seconds flat.

But Spinelli was that to her. Freaking Spinelli. Another guy Logan had to get out of the way to get to Georgie. Well he had outlasted Matt, hadn't he? He could outlast her buddy Spinelli too.

Nobody took care of her as well as Logan did. That had to mean something to her....didn't it?

He was lost in these thoughts when Georgie came down stairs. "Coffee. I need coffee now. Please tell me coffee cures hangovers."

"The coffee is for me," Logan said. He lifted a glass and passed it to her. "This is for you."

She looked like she would throw up at the sight of the concoction he offered her. He chuckled and moved closer to her.

"What is it?"

"Better you don't ask. Just trust me."

She took the glass, plugged her nose and drank it. She started coughing. "Is that raw eggs

and why are they so spicy?"

"That's the tabasco sauce and there's lots of other good stuff in there."

"Ugh! I'm going to be sick." She ran over to the sink.

After a minute, when she didn't throw up, Logan walked over and pulled her into a hug. "You're all right. You know what, girl? I'm glad I got to see this...you're first time getting wasted. Hilarious, I tell ya."

"Its not funny!"

"Shhh. It will be one day. Promise."

She hugged him tightly, as if she'd never let go, and that would be just fine with Logan.


	94. the boxer, part four

****

The Boxer

Logan and Georgie, AU

Part Four

**September 2010**

She could hold onto him forever-happy to never move from this spot in her kitchen with her arms wrapped around the man she adored most in the world.

Though he drove her nuts with his stubbornness, his choices in girlfriends (never her) and his new idea to be a boxer....she loved him. In her quiet, little, good girl trying to be a grown up way, Georgie truly was in love with Logan.

She had fallen for him before she ever met Matt, but back then it was a silly crush kind of love. Over the last year it had intensified into a soul warming kind of love. Every conversation- whether she was mad, crying, or laughing at his bad jokes and crazy lines- made her fall a little more.

She loved a man she had never kissed. It was insanity. More than anything, even if she was feeling disgusting after her night of drinking, she wanted to kiss him just once. Because he might not be single still tomorrow.

He could go back to Sam or find a new chick to hook up with. Georgie remembered all too well how she had worked herself up to tell Logan she wanted to date him- how she had the date all planned and he just had to show up- when he walked into the diner with flowers last year. Flowers for another woman. Then he told her that he was dating Maxie's best friend.

Georgie smiled. She said she was happy for him. She had lied.

Later she felt bad for lying but there were some moments when the truth would not do. So Sam became Logan's whole world, and Sam shared his bed, and Sam was the one who woke up looking into those beautiful eyes of his...while Georgie loved Matt with half her heart and soul....cause the other half, or more really, was across town clinging to Logan.

Logan pulled out of the hug. Georgie didn't move back. Instead she looked up into his eyes and softly said "You took care of me last night. Thank you for that."

"Think nothing of it, doll."

"You can be so sweet to me but you also make me nuts. Boxing? No! You're too smart for that."

"I think I'm gonna be real good at it. Course its gonna take up a lot of time. Gonna be a take a real commitment from me. I'll have to get up early and train everyday. Won't be around as much....it'd be easier if my friends supported me...if you did."

"Support someone punching you in the face? I don't think I can."

"Support my dreams."

"Boxing was never your dream."

"Med school ain't my dream either. You're fooling yourself, if you really believe it is."

"Tell me your dreams then."

He leaned back against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest and said "How about we go back and forth....you go first. Tell me one dream."

After a moment, she softly admitted "To see Europe....with you."

"With me? Wouldn't you rather go with Spinelli? He's into all that history stuff you love so much."

"That's not my dream. Going with you is. Now its your turn. Let me in on one dream you have."

Staring deep into her eyes Logan said "To marry a pretty girl."

"That should be easy enough. Pretty girls just about knife each other to get to you."

"Ha! Don't I wish that was true, girl."

Georgie smiled slightly. "My turn again.. Another dream of mine...hmmm..." she whispered "to ride on a motorcycle....with you."

"There seems to be a pattern developing here, darlin."

"Your next dream?" she asked.

"To be a good dad."

"That's a dream I like, Logan."

"Tell me another one or yours, Georgie."

"Okay. Lets see. To......walk in the rain."

"You've never walked in the rain before?"

"Not with you."

"Georgie," he whispered as his eyes searched hers.

"Another dream, Logan."

"To take care of you whenever you need me to."

"You already do that."

"There's a lot of life left to live though. Will you always let me be the man to take care of you?"

She stepped closer to him. "Want to hear another dream of mine?"

"Yeah."

She brought her hand up to hold the back of her neck, raised up on her tippy toes and whispered into his ear. "To.....make love...with you."

He froze. Stopped breathing. His whole body became tense and still. She looked into his eyes. He was staring at her with so many confusing emotions in his light eyes that she couldn't even be sure what he was thinking. "Breathe, Logan."

He let out a shaky breath.

Georgie stepped back and said "But I can't be with you. I can't have my dream."

His eyes darkened. He hissed out "What kind of game is this you're playing?"

"Its no game."

He leaned closer to her. "Tell me why you can't be with me."

She whispered "Because you won't even kiss me."

"You want a kiss?" he murmured, as he wrapped his arms around her and tugged her flush with his body.

"Mmmmm-hmmmm."

"You got it." And then he was slowly, skillfully, making love to her mouth.

Two minutes later they heard Mac come in the front door. "You awake, sweetie? I smell coffee."

Georgie, still dazed, with her head throbbing with a headache, and her body on fire from Logan's touch, whispered "Go. You better leave before he gets in here. He probably noticed your truck already...oh God."

"Relax, girl. Just relax. He won't know nothing if we don't say nothing," Logan whispered back.

Georgie adjusted her wrinkled clothes.

Mac walked in. "Hey, sweets."

"Hi, Dad."

Mac looked at Logan. "Hayes, how are you doing today?"

"Good, sir, how about yourself?"

"Tired. I hate working overnights. So, isn't it kinda early to be here?"

"I was just stopping by to drop off something with Georgie. I'm gonna take off now. Georgie....call me, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, her eyes locked on his.

Call him? She wanted to follow him out that door and kiss him until he was so weak in the knees that he would never ever think about going back to Sam again.

But she'd settle for calling him. When her headache went away.

"Good bye, sir," Logan said, nodding at Mac.

"Yeah, see you. Take care."

"Sure thing, sir, I'll do that."

Georgie's heart raced in her chest as Logan walked into the living room, since he needed to sneak up to her room and grab his coat and keys. She could not believe what had just happened. After years of wanting him...she finally told him....and he kissed her.

Now she just had to figure out how to make that happen again, and again, and again. And how to get him to not be a boxer.

Because his face was way too beautiful for that career.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Logan walked into Cooper's apartment, where he was staying since Sam tossed him out of the place they shared. He had a huge smile on his face as he called out "HEY! You home? GUESS WHAT?"

"Shut up! I was sleeping, you loud mouth, inconsiderate, annoying...."

Logan walked into Cooper's bedroom. "Guess what?"

Cooper pulled the covers over his head. "I hate you, Hayes."

"Nah, you don't. Guess! Guess! Okay, I'll tell you."

"I'm sleeping! Later, okay? Later. I had to work late last night."

"I slept on a floor all night. Its tough all over." Logan was still smiling. "Get up and guess who I just kissed. And no, it ain't Sam. Come on, guess, buddy."

"NO!"

"Come on, man. This is good. Real good."

Cooper threw back the covers. Picked up a pillow and flung it at Logan. "Why do you always just walk in my bedroom and wake me up? Just cause you're up, I got to be up too?"

"I kissed Georgie."

Cooper sat up. "What's that you just said? Georgie? Tell me everything."

"I told you that you'd want to know."

"What happened, Logan? You heard she broke up with Matt and made a move?"

"You knew she was done with the doctor? Damn it all to hell. Why would you hold back on me?"

"Cause you always go back to Sam and you're not using Georgie as any kind of pit stop."

"You know how I feel about that woman, Cooper Harlan Barrett. I swear you're an ass sometimes." Logan turned and walked out of Cooper's room, heading for the kitchen.

Cooper came out a few minutes later, after going to the bathroom. "Yeah, I know you care about her, man, but you care about Sam too and there was no use telling you about Georgie and Matt cause when she wanted you to know she'd tell you herself."

"Well maybe if I knew I could have stopped her from getting drunk at Jake's last night."

"Georgie...Georgie Jones? About this tall?" He held up his hand. "Brown hair and eyes. Stacked, nice ass. That Georgie?"

"You ever say stacked again and her name and we....are...brawling."

Cooper ignored Logan's threat and asked him "Can you get out the milk for me?" Cooper grabbed a bowl and some cereal. Logan gave him the milk. "Okay, sorry about that. But we both know how good she looks....and that she's never been to Jake's before in her life. So she was that upset about Matt, and you kissed her? What is that about?"

"I didn't kiss her when she was drunk. What the fuck do you think about me? Huh? I don't do that shit."

"Since when?"

"I don't pull that shit on Georgie."

"Good."

"You are so ruining my story."

Cooper started to eat his cereal. He motioned for Logan to go on.

Logan let out a breath. He smiled again. "So I took her home from Jake's and she was all throwing up and feeling bad so I stayed over to keep an eye on her-"

"I bet Mac loved that."

"He wasn't home. Anyway, this morning I tell her that I'm done with Sam...which I am...I'm done with Sam, Cooper. I did love her for a while there but it ain't like this...it was never like this...so anyway, Georgie tells me to drop the boxing idea and I tell her to support my dreams and she tells me, basically, her dream is....wait for it...ME."

"Huh."

"What? A chick's dream can't be me? You know how close I am with Georgie. I can't go a day without her, Coop. Why can't I be her dream?"

"I just was thinking about how Maxie always said that Georgie and Matt wouldn't make it because Georgie never once cried or screamed over Matt. And that meant she didn't feel enough for him...but I've seen her cry, scream and go nuts over you plenty so...yeah...I guess I could buy that you're who she wants."

"And I'm who she's gonna get, too. I'm going to date that girl....and make sure that no other guy gets his paws on her ever again."

"Don't go being obsessive. Go slow."

"Hell with that. You don't got no idea what kissing her felt like. You just stick with Maxie cause that's what you understand....you leave Georgie and how fast I go with her to me....if you could see the way she was looking at me. I can't believe Mac had to come strolling in and mess it all up."

"What? You were gonna do her-"

"Don't," Logan drug out the word like a warning. "You best be more careful how you talk from now on when it comes to her."

"Stop waking me up to have half asleep conversations and maybe I would be, Hayes. Anyway, how do you want me to put it? Were you actually thinking it'd be smart to sleep with her already?"

"Smart? I don't care about smart. I just know I got to make sure she knows she's my girl. All mine. No doctor, or college guys, or any type of anyone but me is getting near her again. I don't care to wait, Coop. I want to be with her as soon as I can. Smart or not."

"Not."

"You say. But you know what....I'm her dream. And you know what else....she's getting her dream. So there." He stuck out his tongue.

"Very mature."

"Be happy for me, Coop. You know I wanted this for a while now."

"Don't let Sam ever know that."

"Believe me, Sam knew first."

"I better go see Sam then. Make sure she's okay. If this is really happening I want to check on her and see for myself she's all right."

"Thanks, man. And I'm gonna go get some sleep so I can see Georgie later."

Logan headed for his bedroom.

Cooper called after him. "You wake me up but now you get to go back to sleep? NICE!"

"Nighty night!"

**Note-** This story is inspired by the Taylor Swift song "The Way I Loved You", which is seen most clearly in Cooper's words about Georgie and Matt's relationship, versus Georgie and Logan's relationship.


	95. the boxer, part five

****

The Boxer

Logan and Georgie, AU

Part Five

September 2010

The whole day Logan spent in Cooper's apartment- first catching up on some sleep, showering, getting dressed, grabbing some chow, then cleaning just to have something to do and so Cooper wouldn't bitch he was a pig and not fit to be kept indoors, as he was known to say when Logan left pop cans everywhere and old newspapers and fast food wrappers around.

But mostly Logan spent his day waiting on Georgie to call. He was now twenty six years old but she made him feel just about fifteen. He hadn't been so desperate for a call in all his life.

He ended up at the balcony doors, staring out into the early evening sky, as a late summer shower started. The sun was just beginning to fall and it was beautiful. He remembered Georgie's words to him:

__

"..... to walk in the rain."

"You've never walked in the rain before?"

"Not with you."

Logan grabbed his cell. Hell with this. He'd just call her and see what was up. His cell rang with her ring tone. "Hey," the word was infused with sweet warmth.

"Its raining, Logan."

"I know. Looks like those flowers we planted in your yard are gonna get a good soaking."

"Do you have time to see me right now?"

"Even if I didn't I'd drop everything for you."

"Rice Manor. I'm leaving right now. Meet me in the parking lot on the north end of the grounds."

"Drive careful in the rain, please, Georgie."

"You too."

He hung up with a smile on his face.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie could not believe that Logan...her beautiful and amazing man...was doing this for her. Indulging her in this little romantic fantasy.

And all she had to do in order to get this perfection was ask him. She didn't know exactly what he felt for her but he kissed her like he wanted more than just some quick, dirty sex on her kitchen floor. He had kissed her like he wanted to make slow and sweet love to her on some rainy afternoon soon.

She was so planning on letting him.

Georgie sat in her Saturn, listening to her ipod play Gary Allan's 'Songs About Rain'. It was Logan that got her into country music, back when he first moved to town and she would have done anything to have something to talk to him about. Kenny Chesney played the Blue Cross Arena in Rochester during that first summer that they knew each other and she managed to convince Lulu that a group of them should all go-including the hot new army buddies who moved to Port Charles to meet their fathers.

At that concert a summer rain shower fell on then, soaking their clothes, and making her white t-shirt see through. Logan went and bought her a Kenny Chesney shirt to put on. And she fell for him...like the girl she was, the one who saw the good in him under the rough exterior. He had played hero for her. She looked up into his eyes as he handed her the shirt he bought her and those light eyes of his had entranced her. Logan never thought twice about what he did. He didn't see her as someone to love back. In fact later that day he kissed Lulu and later he dated Leyla and he lived with Sam. But Georgie was always there, wanting him, and he was always there, taking care of her.

Now she was no longer nineteen and wide eyed about love, and he was no longer twenty three and in the bars every night. He was coming to a mansion to play in the rain with her.

It wasn't lightening outside. It was one of those quick summer storms that would pass in no time. She watched the entrance, waiting for his truck to pull into the parking lot, while music blared into her ears and she sang, happily and loud, to a sad love song.

"Well I thought I was over you but I guess I'm not. Cause when I let you go...lonely is all I got. I guess I'll never know what could have been....It sure ain't helping this mood that I'm in....all these songs about rain! Like 'Rainy Nights in Georgie' and 'Kentucky Rain,' 'Here Comes that Rainy Day Feeling Again', 'Blue Eyes Crying,' in the 'Early Morning Rain'.....It goes on and on and there's no two the same...all these songs about rain! All these songs about rain!"

The ipod shuffled and she sang along with the Dixie Chicks' 'Cowboy Take Me Away' and she was in the middle of She-Daisy's 'I Will...But' when Logan's headlights cut across the parking lot.

He pulled his truck to a stop not far from her car. Georgie took off her headphones and climbed out into the rain, laughing and smiling as he climbed out of his truck, looking all sorts of perfect in her eyes.

"Hi," she called out to him.

"Get over here, girl."

Georgie ran over to Logan, he lifted her up, kissing her and spinning her around as the rain poured down. As they kissed the rain stopped.

Logan pulled back, set Georgie down, and said "Looks like we missed our chance to take a walk."

"It will rain again."

His eyes twinkled at her. "Yeah, you're right. There will be other chances."

She moved back from him, yanking at her wet shirt. "Okay, well, I should have planned better. Now how do we get home all soaked?"

Logan opened the door of his truck, reached across the seat and grabbed a towel and two t-shirts. "Here. You think I'm letting you catch your death out here? Ain't happening."

It was what she loved most. No matter how reckless he was with himself, he was always careful with her. She took the towel and dried off, while he stripped off his shirt.

Her eyes widened at the sight of his bare chest, those tattoos on his arms, his abs. She'd seen it all before. It still made her just as breathless as ever.

She passed him the towel. He dried off his hair and slipped on a fresh t-shirt, one that said PCPD and was obviously snatched from Cooper's drawer. Georgie took her shirt. It had Eddie Maine written across it and concert dates from the nineties. Another Cooper shirt.

She said "Okay, first hold that towel up to block me from anyone driving by and next close your eyes."

"Always so shy."

"There's nothing wrong with holding out till the time is right."

Logan gave her a sweet smile. "How long, exactly, have you been holding out on me?"

"It doesn't matter," she whispered. "All that matters is what you think about me right now...and what you think about all my dreams for us."

"I like them, a lot, but I'm still real curious to know when you hatched them in that pretty little head of yours....let me guess. You just tell me if I'm right."

"Guess while you hold up the towel because I'm starting to shiver here."

He did what she asked. Georgie slipped out of her shirt, dropped it on the ground, and put on the fresh one, while Logan said "Hmmmm.....I think this idea about you and me got cooked up that night at the bonfire a couple months back....you know when I mean. Brooklyn rented that beach house and we went looking for seashells.....Sam got pissed and wanted to know why we stayed gone so long....I'm right, ain't I?"

"You can open your eyes again."

Georgie took the towel and dried her hair. "That was a great night. Matt had to work but I didn't care cause you were around."

"So that was when...you started to want....?" Logan asked her.

"You almost kissed me that night. Later I told myself I imagined it. Did I?"

"No."

"So you started to feel something for me that night?" Georgie asked him.

Logan patted the seat in his truck, motioning for her to sit there. Georgie climbed into the driver's seat. Logan positioned himself between her legs as she faced him. Her body quivered at the contact.

His voice was low when he said "That's the night I stopped lying to myself. What about you?"

"A little bit before that."

"Yeah?"

"Just a little."

"When we went ice skating last Christmas?"

"Before that."

His eyes widened. "Okay....how about...I know. Maxie's last birthday when we went to the city. Sam had that location shot in Rome. The jerk doctor had lives to save or whatever the hell he claims to do all day....and that left you and me, dancing at that goofy restaurant that revolves in a circle overlooking Times Square. That was a while back though."

"Almost a year ago."

"So was that the night?"

"A little before still, Logan." Her eyes fell.

"I don't get it. You started dating Matt just this time last year. So when did you decide he wasn't who you wanted, Georgie? I know I should let this go but I can't. I need to know how long you've been wanting me."

"I think this is a conversation for this time next year. If you want the answer, be back here at this exact time," she gently lifted his wrist and looked at his watch "7:23 and I'll let you know."

"You're never gonna be able to hold out a year on me, girl."

"You just wait and see. Whatever happens with us, I'll be here next year and if you show up, I'll tell you the day and the moment I fell for you, Logan."

"Guess I'll just have to make sure I show up cause I do want to know."

"I want something from you."

"Hmmm?" He tucked some strands of her wet hair behind her ear.

"To forget about becoming a boxer."

He tensed. "Ain't I good enough for you if I'm just a boxer, not some doctor or college boy or cop?"

"You've always been good enough for me. Even when you were locked up for punching Lucky after he tried to keep you away from Lulu. I still thought you were a great guy, Logan. Angry and bitter and reckless but great still. Because you always looked out for me, no matter what. So now I'm trying to look out for you back. We've been friends all along and I just want the best for my friend."

"How about I make you a deal like you made me.....you give me a year to try this boxing thing and if it's a disaster then I'll give it up, go back to school, and you can spend the rest of our lives saying that you were right all along."

With desperation in her voice, she said "That won't do me much good, Logan, if you die before then because someone beats you to death in the ring."

His voice dropped low. "I'm not gonna die on you."

She stared into his eyes. With her voice shaking, she begged "Please don't become a boxer."

"I'd do anything for you, you get that right? But I really want this....if you ask me to choose though, you or boxing....I pick you, every time."

"Okay," she whispered.

"Are you asking me to pick then? You don't think you can do this for me? Support me for one year so I can try this out. I really want this, Georgie. I want to try and be somebody....can you be strong for me?"

Tears came to her eyes. "I can try, Lo. I'll try. I don't like this though....if you've really got your heart set on this....then I'll be the loudest one cheering when you knock the first guy out. But he better not mess up your face or else someone around there is going to have to deal with me."

XXXXXXXXXXX

He loved her.

Logan wouldn't tell Georgie tonight but he knew it was true. She was everything he always wanted. And she was who he spent each day trying to figure out a way to see again.

Raising his hand he caressed her cheek. "You're so fierce sometimes, and so perfect all the time."

"Perfectly scared."

He moved his lips close to hers. "Don't be scared, girl, cause I'm right here, and I live for the chance to take care of you."

Thundered echoed in the sky and rain started to pour down. Georgie slid across the seat of Logan's truck, as he jumped inside. He asked "Not up for our walk right now?"

"I just got changed. Another time though...if its okay with you."

"Definitely."

Their eyes held for a long moment and he fell a little more in love with his brown eyed girl. They had already spent three years becoming friends and then falling in love and now he wanted to spend his whole life walking through rain storms with her.

(When the cloud is rolling over,

thunder striking me,

its bright as lightening

and I wonder

why I could not see.

That's its always good and when the flood is gone

we still remain.

Guess I've known all along

I just belong here

with you

falling like the rain!

Like the rain,

I have fallen for you and I know just why

you liked the rain

always calling for you.

I'm falling for you now.

Just like the rain.) ( Clint Black)

XXXXXXXXX

September 2011

Standing in the grass at Rice Manor, under a brilliant pink and red sky with the sun moments from disappearing for the day, Logan watched as Georgie climbed out of her Saturn. She wore a green sun dress and sandals. Looking as beautiful as she always did in his eyes.

He had traded in his jeans and t-shirt for a suit. She smiled at the sight of him. "You look awful fancy for a boxer."

"Former boxer."

Her eyes widened. She ran across the lawn, jumped into his arms, and he spun her around.

She didn't expect him to give up boxing because he had won a title and was getting a lot of recognition. He must have a dream bigger than boxing though. She couldn't wait to hear what it was.

Over the last year she had learned to support him with his boxing, rising above her own fears, and jogging with him in the mornings, cheering him on at matches, and being his biggest fan all around. But the fear lingered. One hand punch and he could be gone forever.

The man she wanted to father her kids could have been dead in an instant. Georgie would be glad to know Logan wouldn't be taking that kind of risk anymore with himself.

When he set her down she caressed his cheek with her hand. "We haven't even talked about this...about our pact to meet here...in months. I thought maybe you'd forget."

"I want my answer. You think I'd forget that you're gonna spill about when you fell for me? I've been waiting on bated breath for this moment."

"Okay, well, prepare yourself."

"Just give it up." He smiled at her.

She took a deep breath, let it out, and then said, blushing, "At that....Kenny Chesney concert in June 2007 when you bought me a shirt."

Shocked and confused, he breathed out "What?" He had expected to hear it was a lot later than that.

"You heard me."

"You should have said something, woman!"

"I did. It just took me a few years!"

He smiled widely, pulled her close, and kissed her, murmuring "God, I love you."

"I love you too, Lo."

He dropped to one knee and pulled out a ring.

She thought her heart might explode in her chest.

He said "Love me enough to be stuck with me for life?"

"I love you enough to consider myself the luckiest woman alive to be stuck with you for life."

She flung herself on him, kissing him and giggling. They fell into the grass, thunder echoed in the sky above them, and it started to pour down rain.

The End

**Note-**

Thanks for reading The Boxer. This couple will forever make me happy to think about and I'm glad when anyone else enjoys this pairing too. Big thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Sara

My next Glo story is more about them fighting, and building a life together over time. It will be in the Give Me Tonight Series. Its canon, starting in 2007. Look for it next week. 


	96. The Crazy Things We Do, Glo and Jag

**The Crazy Things We Do**

**One shot**- just playing around with figuring out the dynamics of Johnny and Georgie. It can take me a bit to see what makes a couple tick.

**Logan/Georgie/Johnny**

**Revisionist history**

**Note**- Johnny has never met anyone in Port Charles before the day that he meets Georgie.

****

March 2008

"You shouldn't be here." Those were the first words he said to her when she walked into the living room of the house at Crimson Point.

Her face fell. "Why?"

He poured himself a drink and didn't look at her. "Your father told me I better steer clear of you from now on if I know what's good for me. He's building a case on Claudia and I know a lot of that is in retaliation for us being friends. He said as much when he warned me off."

"Think about it. Its his job to arrest Claudia if she commits a crime. If he wanted to get you away from me he could just build a case on you."

"That Trevor would shoot down in a second. Besides, Mac knows a case against me wouldn't scare me but a case against her.....He's going after me through my sister. How much you want to bet if I stopped hanging out with you.....that case would suddenly hit the backburner down at the PCPD?"

"I very much doubt my father works that way."

"Wanna bet? You're his girl. He'd blackmail me in a second if that saved you from coming back to this mansion ever again." He turned to face her and said "I owe Claudia. I can't let her take the fall over me."

"Are you saying....are we done, Johnny?"

Done. They were never supposed to get started in the first place.

He wasn't supposed to be the one for her- to play her hero, to ever mean so much. It didn't start off with him thinking they'd get so far, be so much, change everything like that. She had just needed a hero and he had just been there. Not trying to be a hero cause he had never been a damn hero for anyone before he met her. And he hadn't wanted to become one. Save someone else? Who the fuck you kidding?

Johnny Zacchara didn't even have it in him to save himself.

He hadn't been sure he wanted to live or die on that day when his life and hers intertwined. He was fresh off walking on the ledge of General Hospital, thinking about letting his foot slip, falling into the dark night and getting this shit over with finally. Not living just to go crazy or be lonely or feel trapped.

Then she came along- or was it he that came along for her? Well, you get the idea.

Then they crashed into each other. Best crash of his life. Bar none. And he'd hit enough walls going sixty miles an hour to say that with authority. He always walked away from those crashes. He didn't know if he could really walk away from her.

Not now. Not when she went and made him her hero.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

****

August 2007

It all happened so fast. One second she was good little Georgie, pouring coffee behind the counter at the diner, and the next Maxie, Cooper and Logan were all screaming their heads off outside of Kelly's.

Then she heard the words that made her eyes drift close and so many dreams that she didn't want to admit she ever dreamed died away in an instant.

Cooper's tear choked voice "Just get away from me! Both of you!"

Georgie hurried out the door. The peacekeeper. She would make it all better.

Cooper was glaring at Logan, as Logan grabbed his arm. Maxie stood there crying with huge sad eyes.

Cooper hissed out "You want to screw around together? Go do it! I'm done with both of you! Go back to bed together or don't. But forget you ever knew me."

"Coop, please, no," Maxie whimpered.

Logan said "It didn't mean nothing."

Cooper looked like he wanted to drive his fist through Logan's throat but he didn't do that. He just jerked his arm away, said "Then you cost us all everything for nothing," and slammed inside the diner.

Maxie went running after him. Logan stood there, breathing heavily, and finally his eyes met Georgie's.  
Before she could stop herself her hand came flying out and she slapped him.

Tears flooded her eyes. "I hate you. You ruin everything!" Sobs shuddered to life in her chest.

Logan held his face. His eyes searched hers. His voice was coarse when he asked "Taking this all a little personal, ain't you, doll? You slapping me for your sister's sake or cause you're pissed I wasn't with you?"

She pushed at his chest. "You've lost what was left of your mind! I despise everything about you!" She spun away but he grabbed her arm.

Logan jerked Georgie against him. "Say that like you mean it and I might believe you."

A long moment passed when light eyes stared into dark, as her body stopped shaking with tears, until she finally whispered, with her lips quivering, "You just had to mess them up, didn't you? Why would I want a man who messes up everything that could have been perfect? I'd never want that for myself."

So many lies. But she couldn't be the perfect, honest girl. Not when she was this hurt and broken inside. He had slept with her sister! Never once looked at Georgie like she was worth burning his world to the ground over and then he went and screwed around with Maxie, his buddy's girl. Logan killed all of Georgie's little romantic fantasies about them in an instant.

Logan breathed out the words "I think you do."

"Fresh from my sister's bed? I don't!" She pushed away from him, shoving him hard in the chest another time.

"Look, that thing with Maxie,' he ran his hands through his hair "it was messed up. It shouldn't have went down like that. I didn't....set out to hurt no one....but I can see you are hurt so....just tell me why. You went and got a crush on me?"

She bit her bottom lip, staring at him. He reached out to touch her arm.

"Get away from me!" Georgie went to go back in the diner and Logan jumped in front of the door to block her path.

"Not till you answer me, doll."

"I did. The answer is your nuts if you think I want you."

"I'm not buying it. All those tears ain't over your sister losing Cooper."

Their eyes held. Georgie used both her hands to wipe away her tears. "You really think I want you for myself? Think again."

"A girl like you single all summer....yeah, now that I do think again...I think you've been waiting on me and I ain't never realized it till now."

"Dream on, Logan! I have a real man in my life. Someone better than you could ever hope to be."

"If your talking about that punk Spinelli, save it. He ain't your man, doll." Logan stepped closer to her and his voice dropped. He begged her, just like she always wanted him to beg, for a chance for them. "Lets go somewhere away from all this craziness and talk about this..."

"You're insane! I don't want you! You just slept with my sister."

"That was a mistake."

"You broke your best friend's heart with your mistake."

"And I'm sorry about that."

"Well your sorry is coming way too late and I don't care anyway," her voice broke with every word.

"I know sorry don't change things. But seeing you like this...its killing me, Georgie. Let me try to make this right, girl. I never set out to hurt you this way."

Georgie knew if Logan kept talking she would break. She'd let him convince her that it made no difference what had happened...all that mattered was what could happen for them now that he knew her feelings for him. And she didn't want him to convince her of that. She was still too raw over this shock and too disgusted by the idea of Logan and Maxie, naked and sweaty rolling around together with no love between in his bed.

Georgie was so desperate in that moment that she pulled a similar stunt to one that she had tried way back when she wanted to make Lucas jealous...a stunt that led to a marriage with Dillon. Maxie was not the only Jones sister to ever work a scheme.

Georgie lied to Logan "I have a boyfriend! So take your delusions away from me and go ruin someone else's happiness somewhere else."

"What's his name?"

Georgie tried to push past Logan to go inside.

He grabbed the door so she couldn't open it and repeated "What's his name?"

Just then a man turned the corner and saw them. He asked "Problem here?"

Georgie spun around, took one long look at him, and then ran over and flung her arms around his neck. "I'm so glad you're here.....sweetie."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

****

March 2008

Are we done, Johnny?

Her words hung in the air. Drummed into his brain. Sunk into his soul. Done. He could say yes, send her home like he knew was best for her, and they would both go on without the friendship that had changed his life.

But how would he survive without the woman that was the only light in his world?

He would live through it. He would just hate living again.**  
**

Johnny lifted his glass and let another long swallow of scotch burn over his tongue. He wasn't a selfish man. He knew that giving her up was the right thing to do for her. Now all he had to do was find the words to say what he didn't want to say at all.

When he didn't answer Georgie sighed. "I'm sorry that my Dad is hassling you. I understand if you don't want to risk your sister's freedom on me....but I really believe that the law is fair and if Claudia is innocent my Dad can't lock her up."

Innocent? There wasn't a Zacchara alive who was innocent. Georgie knew that Johnny was out of the business now....because he couldn't have her by his side if he was in....and she believed Claudia when she smiled and lied that she was out too. But Johnny knew better.

Six months before this choice would have been easy. His sister came first. And now- in his brain- it still was. But he couldn't get the rest of his body to agree. Couldn't make his heart let Georgie go. Couldn't make the words come out of his mouth.

He had played at being her boyfriend for three months before they had a spectacular staged break up in Kelly's for Logan - and all her other friends- benefit. Those months were the best of his life. Getting to know her, protecting her, hearing her secrets, saving her from being embarrassed or alone or sad.

He'd never been to anyone what he was to her. Never felt so essential.

Georgie added "I don't want to make your life worse. I should go."

She headed for the door. Dressed in simple jeans and Kelly's t-shirt, with her hair in a ponytail, and just lip gloss on, she looked better to him than the sexy, skirts barely there, chicks he met in New York City nightclubs. Georgie was real. Emotional. Sensitive. Breakable. Beautiful. Sweet.

His.

"Don't go," he whispered.

She stopped by the door and looked back. "I'm so mad at my Dad for telling you we can't be friends anymore. Its not fair. We've been friends for months now and nothing bad has happened."

"Michael Corinthos got shot and that changes everything."

"Why?"

"Because every parent around here don't want their kid to be next. You keep hanging around me and you could be the one hurt one of these days. You think I want that?"

"Everything about life is a risk. I'd risk it for you."

He stared at her for a long moment. "I need to tell you to leave and not come back."

"Then tell me to leave already and get it over with. Don't jerk me around, Johnny."

"Don't you think I'd have let you walk out by now if I could. I can't!"

"Why not?"

He looked away. He lifted his glass and downed the rest of his scotch. She walked close to him and whispered "Why not?"

Johnny turned and stared into her eyes. These gorgeous, dark, life changing eyes she had. They healed so many broken places inside of him. Made him unable to look in other eyes and feel anything but lonely. Because he wanted to be looking into hers.

For the third time Georgie whispered "Why......not?"

He grabbed her, jerked her close to him, kissed her until she was breathless, till her purse hit the ground with a soft thud, and her arms wound around his neck. He ground out the words "That's why."

With her voice breaking she said "I was so terrified you were going to say we were done."

"I can't be done with you, Georgie. I dream about you damn near every night. I spend all day worrying that somebody out in that fucked up world is gonna hurt you and I won't be around to save you. I spend Friday nights working but thinking that this is gonna be the Friday that Logan pulls his head out of his ass, tracks you down, and you're gonna remember he was the one you wanted all along....and if that ever happens I swear I just might kill that man with my bare hands."

"Don't. Please, don't," she whimpered.

Searching her eyes Johnny asked "Because you still got a thing for him?"

"Because I have a thing for you, Johnny, and I don't want you to end up in prison over me. I don't want anyone to die over us....I want us to be the most beautiful part of our crazy, messed up lives. I don't want to lose you for any reason."

He kissed her softly and then whispered "You really thought I could let you go? No...way...in...hell."

Georgie brought her lips to his and kissed him in a more intensely passionate way than he had kissed her. And Johnny knew just what she was doing....she was going just a little crazy over him....trying to prove to him that he was the one she wanted most now.

And he was just crazy enough to believe her.

If it wasn't true that day, if she didn't love Johnny more than she still ached for Logan, then maybe it would be true the next morning, after Johnny made love to her and showed her all the ways he cherished everything about her. Or maybe it would be true when he took her to Europe to see all the places she read about in books. Or maybe she would finally love him the most when he got down on one knee for her and offered everything he had to her if only she'd take him and never let him go again.

One day it would be true, Johnny believed. He would wait on her forever. Because he had no choice but to wait for her...but to kiss her...but to love her. She was just to good to ever give up.

**THE END**


	97. Lines to Cross, Jag

**Fast Car Prompt from SFF**

**Johnny Zacchara and Georgie Jones**

**Section 16:** And I had a feeling that I could be someone, be someone, be someone.

****

Lines To Cross, AU

September 22, 2007

He doomed them from day one. And he knew it. The moment the word slipped out of his mouth Johnny knew that Georgie would one day hate his guts.

But he couldn't stop himself.

Because that lie was the only way he could be with her without darkness closing in on their every breath. So he lied. Hell, yeah, he lied.

Any sane man would have lied to her. And Johnny liked to play at being sane. That summer it became his favorite game. The one he traded in for drifting closer and closer to insanity. Instead of walking on ledges in the moonlight and cussing God out every chance he got, he walked through the park under the bright midday sun, with a pretty girl holding his hand- acting like he was average.

He knew it couldn't last. There was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off for every second of their relationship. And then it exploded. And then her eyes went cold.

"How could you do this to us, Johnny? You made everything a lie."

"If you really believe that....then just get out here....just leave!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

****

July 2007

At first he didn't believe it. It felt like a trick. He knew it probably was some kind of way to control him, and in the end, he'd pay for this freedom but even knowing that Johnny still took what Trevor offered.

Anthony was getting worse and worse every second. Wandering around moaning about his dead wife that he killed fifteen years before and walking on the roof in rainstorms, ordering hits on men who died before Johnny was even born, living in an alternate reality that made Johnny feel like he was also stuck there.

There was no place on earth worst than inside that mansion. But his father had always refused to let him leave without guards.

Then, out of nowhere, Trevor offered to get Johnny an apartment in Rochester. Said he would make it right with Anthony. That it was time for Johnny to be free.

Something was up. It was like having a snake for a pet when he agreed to the offer. Johnny knew he'd get bit later but that was later. First he would get to live as a totally independent man who never had to answer to anyone, ditch his guards, or look at his mentally deranged father. Look at him and wonder how many more minutes, hours or days till Johnny himself would be just as far gone as Anthony.

The first few days in the apartment felt strange. There he was, all alone, without people watching his every move. He loved that but he didn't expect the loneliness. He'd been lonely most of his life but this was different. More intense.

The apartment was so silent that he heard his every breath in and out. He went and bought a big screen tv on the third day he lived there and cranked the volume up, leaving it on day and night.

He didn't miss the mansion, or his father, but he missed what he always had missed since he was eight years old: the feeling of being loved.

And then he met her. And suddenly, like a flash, there was light in his life. There was laughter. Hope. Joy. Thrills that didn't come from driving fast around blind curves. And then he knew....he knew what life was supposed to be. He finally had a shot at being someone he could look at in the mirror and like.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

****

July 17th, 2007

What a mess.

Georgie stood in the hallways of the apartment building in Rochester and knocked on the door for the thirtieth time, telling herself that he was probably in the shower or something innocent like that. Even though she suspected the truth was more like Hank, the stoner who was assigned to be her partner in her school project, was off somewhere getting high and forgot all about their plans to get together to work.

This is what she got for going to summer school.

Maxie told her to just take the summer off and enjoy life for once. But no...no...of course not...Georgie could not listen to that good advice. She had this big "life" schedule to keep. The schedule she made after divorcing Dillon. The schedule that was supposed to keep her from making anymore wrong turns. And this life schedule called for summer school this year.

Hank was there taking over a class he bombed the first time around, while Georgie was trying to get through with a class she didn't have time for during the next school year.

Knock. Knock. Knock. She let out a sigh.

By now she knew it was futile to keep knocking. She needed to leave and just go find a pay phone. Tell Maxie or Robin or her Dad that she'd hit a string of unbelievable bad luck: her lab partner was no where to be found, her car was making crazy noises and she couldn't take it back on the expressway, and her cell had no service.

But she didn't want to bother all of them. She liked handling her own problems. If only stupid stoner Hank would answer his damn door then maybe she could salvage one part of this lousy day and get her school work done.

Georgie kicked the door. Then she jumped her foot as pain shot through it. "OW!"

About a minute later, when she had set her foot back down, and was about to walk away she heard "Hey, hey, hey now. You okay?"

She looked over to see the door to the apartment across the hall opened. "I'm fine. Thank you."

"I heard a scream."

"That was just me."

He looked up and down the hallway. "Someone hassling you?"

"No. I had it out with this door and the door won. I'm okay. I was just leaving. Sorry for disturbing you"

"No problem."

She started to walk away and then turned around. "Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to know where the nearest pay phone is, do you?"

"They still have those?"

"I hope so. I'm having car trouble and I need to call someone for a ride back to Port Charles."

"What kind of car trouble?"

"Its making noises. Whir Whir Bang. I don't think that can be a good thing or possibly be something I can ignore and get back on the expressway to go home."

"I could take a look at it for you."

"I wouldn't want you to go to the bother."

"It wouldn't be a bother."

"No, really, I'll figure something out. I just need to track down a phone."

"Tell you what, you can use my cell phone and while you are making your call I'll have a quick peek under the hood of your car."

"No. You'll get your nice clothes all dirty."

"I check out your car or no phone."

She gave him a small smile. "You play hardball."

"That isn't hardball. So do we have a deal or what?"

"Yes, and thank you. It would be great if you could figure out what the deal is with my car. Or if I can at least call someone to take me home. Now that I think about it though, maybe I should just take a cab to the train station, take the train back, and then walk home from there. I'd hate to bother my family in the middle of the day when everyone is working."

"Lets just see if we can get that car of yours running right first, okay? Give me a minute to grab my phone and then we'll head downstairs."

Once they were in the elevator she stuck her hand out "I'm Georgie Jones, by the way. Georgianna actually but no one calls me that."

"They should. Its beautiful."

She blushed. "This is the part where you tell me your name."

He blinked. His dark eyes jerked away from her. "Uh...its John."

"Are you sure? You don't seem sure." She backed against the wall of the elevator.

He gave her a smile and she relaxed. "Yeah, I'm sure. Sorry. I blanked for a minute there. I think its cause you're so pretty."

She blushed again. "Do you have a last name, John?"

"Sure."

"What is it?"

"Does it matter?"

"I'm prying. You're right. Sorry. You're doing a very nice thing for me and after today we'll never see each other again so what does it really matter what your last name is anyway."

The elevator doors opened.

He said "Its Taylor. John Taylor."

She smiled widely. "Nice to meet you, John Taylor."

"That smile is something else. Really."

Blushing she walked off the elevator and headed through the lobby. The doorman opened the door for her. After another half an hour Johnny declared her car needed major work to be road worthy again.

He said "Maybe you should just call your boyfriend for a ride home."

"I'll call my Dad. Its okay. He's the police commissioner in Port Charles. If he's tied up at work he'll send a cop to get me."

"Don't tell me you that you're actually single, Georgie."

"Fine. I won't tell you."

"Did you dump him? I can't figure out what kind of man would dump you. Wait...is he blind?"

She did her best to not smile as he flirted with her, but a smile was threatening to burst onto her lips at any moment. "My last relationship ended mutually. I really hate talking about that though. Can I use your phone now?"

"If you agree to let me take you to dinner tonight you can use my phone, my car, or whatever else you want that I got."

"Another trade? That's not playing fair."

He pulled the phone out of his pocket. "You're right. Here you go."

She dialed and said "Answering machine....Maxie, hey, its me. I'm going to be coming home on the ten o'clock train. Could you pick me up or send somebody? Thanks. Love you." She hung up and handed Johnny back his phone. "Dinner would be lovely......just as long as you don't share that apartment with anyone."

"I'm actually thinking of getting a dog."

"I meant a wife, girlfriend, lover, anyone like that, John."

"Nope. There's no one like that in my life."

"I'll pay for dinner as a thank you for doing your best to fix my car."

He stepped a little closer to her. "How do you know I didn't tamper with your car just to keep you here a little longer?"

"Did you?"

"Don't think I wouldn't."

She couldn't help blushing again. It had been so long since a man looked at her the way this one was. It set her heart racing. She seemed to be warming from the inside out. All those frozen places inside coming back to life after the coldest winter ever for her- the winter she was all alone while Dillon followed around Lulu.

Now here was this man who was making her remember that life could be more than schedules and getting through the hours till they became days and months gone by. Life could be filled with heart racing moments.

Moments spent with John.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

****

September 22, 2007

He had lied about who he was. Georgie stood there shivering in misery as it all crashed down on her. The story Johnny told of his childhood, and the last name he gave her, were both just something he made up.

She fell in love with him and he hadn't even been telling her the truth about the most basic things. He hadn't trusted her enough to.

Now the whole story was unraveling. His sister Claudia had blackmailed Trevor into setting Johnny free of the Zacchara mansion. Yesterday Claudia came home to Crimson Point and set off a family feud that drug all their dirty little secrets to light. Georgie had shown up at Johnny's apartment in Rochester to hear screaming going on inside....hear Ric, Trevor, and Claudia going at it...and Johnny in the middle of it.

And that's when she knew he wasn't who he said he was at all. She ran away but today she came back to confront him.

"How could you do this to us, Johnny? You made everything a lie."

"If you really believe that....then just get out here....just leave!"

"Don't you dare scream at me!"

They stood there in tense silence until Johnny let out a long breath and smiled slightly.

Her shoulders relaxed some.

He said "Okay, you just screamed at me right back."

"I'm hurt," she whimpered. "I don't know why you couldn't be honest."

"Because I hate everything about being a Zacchara....my childhood..." he let out a shuddering breath as tears pricked the back of his eyes, causing a light sheen over the deep dark brown. "God, Georgie....sweetie...it was so damn bad. I wanted to be someone else. You made me believe I was someone else."

"I can't be with a man who lies to me. That's a line I won't let be crossed."

He walked away from her. Stopping by the window he stared out. He seemed to shrink within himself. "You should leave now. Don't ever come back."

Her lips quivered as she grabbed her purse. Her voice was thick with emotion when she said "I thought you loved me."

She was at the door when he grabbed her and spun her around. His lips crashed into hers. When they broke apart, he whispered "You're the only woman I'm ever gonna love. That's why you got to stay far away from me."

Georgie wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against him. "I don't walk out when times get hard. That's what my birth father and my mom did. I'm not like them. I stay, Johnny."

"Its too dangerous now. I'm a Zacchara. Don't try and ignore that. We can't...not anymore."

She looked into his eyes. "Why do you think I want to stay with you?"

"Because you're loyal. You're a good woman. You know how damn lonely I'll be without you. You're trying to save me but you got to save yourself from me."

"I want to stay because I'm in love with you, Johnny.....Zacchara. I'm in love with you. You've made this the best summer of my life. Don't send me out that door and leave me missing you. Let me stay."

"Its going to get crazy now. You get that, right?"

"I can handle it."

"Georgie....."

"Don't ever lie to me again. Don't lie and we'll be okay. I know we will."

"You really need to let me go." He eased her away. His voice was thick with pain. "Go, go, please."

"NO!"

"Georgie!"

She brought her hands up to cup his face. "I can't. Whatever craziness is coming we face it together." She brought her lips to his.

And they kept going for a little bit longer. Later they would look back on it all-that wild time when they belonged to each other- and think of it as the good old days. But for that moment it was just their love story flipping another page.

(_And I remember when we driving,_

_driving in your car,_

_speed so fast_

_felt like I was drunk._

_City lights lay out before us_

_and your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder._

_And I_

_had a feeling that I belonged._

_And I_

_had a feeling I could_

_be someone, be someone, be someone._ ) (Tracy Chapman)

**Note-**

I might write something longer about this couple but I am still figuring them out. I'm calling them Jag for **J**ohnny **a**nd **G**eorgie. I've written a story for If Only in my Fantasies that has Johnny and Brooklyn. I call them Jab.


	98. Dirt Road, GLO

**Georgie and Logan  
1000 Word Prompt: Grand Romantic Gesture**

Dirt Road

"It's a great deal," Georgie told Logan, as they stood in their cramped kitchen that was in desperate need of a makeover.

"A great deal, girl? To get something we don't want. What kind of great deal is that?"

"I know its not what we talked about but financially its makes so much more sense really."

He shook his head in disbelief.

She went on "But I won't try to talk you into anything. I know you'll make the right choice for us."  
Her brown eyes stared hopefully into his.

Still shaking his head he said "Fine. We'll take it."

Smiling she threw her arms around him. His arms rose to hug her and she expected him to nuzzle her neck like he always did but he stayed stiff, with just a disappointed sigh escaping his lips.

XXXXXXXXXXX

A few weeks later Logan was sitting at work, in this stuffy little office at ELQ, wondering what the hell happened to his dream of being a rich and powerful mobster. Not that he wanted that dream anymore. But he sure didn't think he'd end up some suit.

Rubbing his hand down his face, he opened an e-mail from his wife that read:

I totally spaced about this party we have to go to tonight. Its for Zach's six birthday. Meet me at 213 Rural Road 2. Its out south of town. Don't flake out on me, okay? I'm sick of going to this kind of stuff while you stay home making sure we have the best lawn in all of Port Charles. Come right after work.

Closing the email, Logan let out a long sigh.

He would never complain about the life he had with Georgie but it was filled with all these compromises he never expected. She knew he'd do anything for her so all she had to do was turn on the guilt or bat brown eyes at him and he was agreeing to things he didn't want. Till he lived in a house he didn't like, went to work at a job he didn't like, and drove a minivan.

But he loved her. And this is what he had to do for her. He had to sacrifice and not complain. She was worth it though. More than worth it.

She was the only dream he really needed anyway.

XXXXXXXXX

**Ten Years Before**

Driving out of the city limits, Logan cranked up the radio letting Brooks and Dunn rock out instead of the usual Disney songs that filled the van. The tune took him back to when he first fell for Georgie.

_(Her Daddy didn't  
like me much._

_In my shackled up GTO.  
I'd sneak out in the middle of the night.  
Throw rocks at her bedroom window_.)

She leaned out of the second story window, smiling, her hair whipping in the wind. "Shhh. My Dad will kill you if he sees you out here."

"I don't care, girl."

"You'll care when you're dead."

"I miss you something fierce! I'm dying without you anyway."

She laughed and disappeared inside. A few minutes later she was creeping down the driveway to climb in his car, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, and saying "What am I going to do with you, boy?"

"Marry me."

She smiled. He always said things like that. "Buy me a ring and maybe I'll think you're serious."

"I'll buy you a ring, beautiful. I'll buy you a house. I'll buy you baby clothes and I'll buy you rocking chairs and I'll buy you happiness. I'll buy you all your dreams and tie them up with a pretty red bow, I swear on everything I love. I'll buy you the whole world, Georgianna Jones."

_(We'd turn off the headlights.  
Drive by the moonlight.  
Talk about what the future might hold  
down that red dirt road)_

Logan was lost in his thoughts and drove past the address. Spotting a mailbox that said 215 and then the next said 217, he spit out a curse word and hit the brakes. There was no traffic so he backed down the deserted road and pulled into the driveway. It was long tree lined dirt road. It curved. When he cleared the curve he saw rose petals thrown over gravel and just two cars parked there. One of Georgie's Saturn and the other was a broken down truck. He'd love to get his hands on that baby and fix her up. He'd given up his last truck when their daughter was born.

She was five now. Their son was three. And Logan was more Daddy and Hubby than bad boy, rebel, renegade cowboy anymore.

He parked and looked around. Walking up to the truck he found a red bow on the windshield. Turning around to look at the house he saw a wooden plaque by the door that read: The Hayes Family.

Smiling widely he walked up the porch, spotted some rocking chairs, and then into the house. "Georgie!"

It was still inside. He kept calling her name. In the kitchen he looked out the window and saw her outside. Sitting in a lawn chair, in a white summer dress, with bare feet, watching his kids kick a ball around. Well Kenzie was kicking the ball around, Jack was tripping over his own three year old feet more than anything.

Logan pulled open the back door and walked outside. His wife smiled at him, while she said "Look, Daddy's home."

"DADDY!"

The kids ran at him like little hurricanes of energy. They had a lot more of him in them than her but underneath the stubborn side and the tantrums they both had their mother's big hearts. They started chattering about putting in swing sets and swimming pools, raising chickens and riding ponies, and trying to get him to agree to things there Mama hadn't yet.

Georgie slowly made her way to Logan.

He asked "What changed your mind? What about the house that was dirt cheap?"

"This was a better deal, when I really thought about it."

He loved her.

_(I went out into the world,  
And I came back in._

_I lost her.  
Oh, I got her back again._

_And driving home tonight,  
feels like I've found a long-lost friend_.) (Red Dirt Road by Brooks and Dunn)

**THE END**

Note - the song has a lyric change. 'Mary' is changed to 'her'. For the 1000 words nothing but the story counts. Not song lyrics, titles, dates etc.


	99. Son of a Mob Boss, Jag

**Note- **My new Glo story- Souls Collide- is stalled. I won't post it till I can get it right. Instead here is a revised history version of Johnny and Georgie.

Logan is Maxie's boyfriend and has been her boyfriend since the day they met, when he was a hostage in the crisis, and Cooper was Three. Georgie is extremely jealous that her sister has this man in her life and bed. Logan works at a warehouse. Cooper works for Jax, because Brenda got him the job, and Cooper is in town to support Logan reuniting with Scott- which is going pretty decent as the story starts in late summer of 2007.

The story is really only about Johnny and Georgie though.

**Son of a Mob Boss**

**Part One**

**August 2007**

The first smile she ever gave him was fake. Because she hadn't looked into his eyes yet. She was just being her normal good girl polite self. She turned around at the sound of his voice "Hey, do you know where I can get a cup of coffee around here?" and then their eyes met.

Her heart jumped into her throat. But there was no time for introductions. No time to ask if he had a girlfriend or was he really who she thought he was: the one she'd been praying would show up to spice up her dull little existence.

Because a second after he first spoke to her bullets were flying through the air. Bullets aimed at her, him, her sister, and her sister's boyfriend.

She froze. All her instincts to save herself disappeared with the shock of getting shot at.

"Get down!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Her whole life changed in a flash.

One moment this is who she was: Georgie Jones, straight A college student, volunteer at the hospital, under appreciated waitress at a diner, left behind former wife of a rich boy, doting daughter, loving sister, adoring cousin, bored, numb, lonely, girl child woman.

The next moment she was all that and also desperate to keep a total stranger in her life.

She was standing on the docks with her sister and her sister's sexy as sin boyfriend. Maxie and Logan were both everything Georgie wanted to be. Wild. Free. Alive. They just oozed sex and fun out of their pores.

He had a tendency to keep his hand cupped on her ass as they stood around anywhere. Marking her as his for the world to see. There were times that all Georgie could think was why did it have to be her sister who snagged this man? Wasn't it obvious to God that Georgie needed him more? She needed to be the one who laughed at his jokes, the one who tended to his wounds from bar fights, the one who crawled into his bed and made him believe in love and happiness.

But she wouldn't dare try to take him from Maxie. Her sister was too happy. Besides Georgie played by the rules and that was against all the rules.

So she just smiled when she was with them. Let them set her up with his army buddy, Cooper, for a boring date that made both her and Coop know they were better off as friends. And she waited. She waited for the days to go by until something would happen....anything...to bring her back to life again.

Make her heart beat fast. Make the moment linger. Make everything matter.

Because grades, plans, and projects were just fine but they weren't a hot, naked, sweaty man and they weren't someone calling her baby in her ear and they weren't slow dancing in the rain and they weren't enough.

Then he was there. The son of a mob boss, she would later learn, and her world flashed into color again. And life started moving very, very fast.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hard, muscled arms wrapped around her waist, taking her to the ground, on the docks.

Logan had yelled "Get down!" as he pulled out his gun and pushed Maxie behind some crates.

But it was this stranger who grabbed Georgie- who was too stunned to save herself- and pulled her to the ground. Then his own gun was out and he was back on his feet, returning fire into the night, at two men who Georgie only got a brief look at before they disappeared.

When the night air was silent again, Georgie immediately thought of her sister. "Maxie!" She crawled behind the crate to find Maxie there, her face ashen and her eyes wide.

"Shit, this town sucks ass."

Georgie hugged her, letting out a shaky breath. "We're okay."

"What in the fuck just happened here?" Logan asked "You got a target on you, man? Watch where the hell you're walking! You nearly got my girl and her sister killed! What the fuck?"

"You just assume this was all about me?"

"Well I ain't the kid of a mob boss, now am I?"

There was a long silence while Georgie and Maxie looked at each other in the moonlight. Their breathing was still ragged. Georgie was half afraid to stand up and get shot at again, but also she wanted to stop Logan from kicking the ass of this stranger. Because this son of a mob boss had done what nobody else could for her since Diego died. Made her heart beat fast when looking in his eyes.

Unless you counted Logan- and Georgie just couldn't go there.

"Look, they probably were shooting at me. Sorry you got caught in the crossfire. But thanks for the back up. Good looking out, man."

Logan just huffed loudly and stomped over to the crates, looking down at the shivering girls.

Georgie looked up. "We're okay."

"Speak for yourself!" Maxie cried. "I think my jeans got ripped and these cost over 300 bucks."

Though she was talking fashion, Georgie knew she was seriously still scared because of their close call.

Logan kneeled down, placing his hand on her leg, his deep southern drawl soothing "You're okay." He looked into Maxie's eyes, as this little battle went on between them. Neither one liked to be seen as weak or needy but they were both so filled with neediness that it radiated off their skin.

Logan next looked at Georgie "Not even a cut on ya. You're all right, girl."

Her bottom lip quivered. She wanted to be brave but her heart was beating so fast that she couldn't think. All she knew was someone was out to kill this mob boss' son. And that was so unfair. Just because he was born into that family didn't mean he shouldn't be able to walk the streets without getting shot at.

Georgie wanted to tell the stranger she wasn't mad at him for the shooting, so she scrambled to her feet, just as he was coming behind the crates to check on them. She ended up standing just as inch away from him.

"Hi," she breathed out. Then thought that was stupid. Saying hi. How about saying: Thank you for saving my life.

"Hey. Are you hurt?" His eyes looked over her.

Her skin set fire at his quick appraisal.

"I'm fine. Are you okay?"

He ran his hands through his short, dark hair. There was something in the way that he shook his head at her question that said it didn't matter if he was or not. His life had no meaning. "Unscathed. You should get out of here, in case they come back."

"I need to call my father. He's the police commissioner."

Just then Logan and Maxie, who had been whispering to each other, stood up. "Forget about that, girl. I ain't giving that man another reason to tell me to steer clear of his girls. Everything is my dang fault in that man's world."

"Logan's right," Maxie said. "Besides, the cops never actually catch anyone. They'd spend all night grilling Logan about having a gun instead of looking for whoever shot at us." She looked at the stranger. "You know who's after you? Or is this just typical Tuesday night mob violence?"

"I have a fair idea," the stranger ground out.

Georgie's heart ached for him. He might not even want to be in the mob. He was born into it. He was trapped. It just wasn't right.

"Well," Maxie asked, concerned, "are you gonna be okay? Don't you have a mob army or something to handle this? Some guards at least? Someone to watch your back?"

Logan told her "It ain't our problem. Lets go."

With a hand on Maxie's elbow he started to force her to walk away. Georgie stayed frozen in place, her eyes on the stranger that made her heart race and her breathing catch.

"Come on," Logan said, looking at Georgie. "Time to get you home."

Her eyes stayed locked on a pair of dark, brooding eyes.

The stranger told her "Go on now. Its not safe out here."

Without thinking- because if she stopped to think she'd just go home, get in bed, and sleep away the next few years in her normal, uninteresting little way that she had developed since Diego died- she flung herself onto the stranger, hugging him tight. "You saved me. Thank you."

The hug went on and on, for a long minute, as this stranger relaxed against her and then tugged her even closer. She could feel every part of his body molded to hers. She melted into him.

Logan let out a very frustrated puff of air. Georgie heard Maxie slap at him, probably hitting his arm or chest in her way to say: Back off. He liked to think that Maxie and Georgie were his girls to take care of and Georgie never minded that before. But right now she would so go off on him if he tried to drag her away from this mob boss' son.

Nothing in her life-in months and months- had felt as good as this hug. She didn't want to ever let go of him.


	100. jag 2

**Son of a Mob Boss**

**Part Two**

**August 2007**

He knew better than to enjoy her hug. He tried to stay stiff as this young, curvy, gorgeous woman held him in the moonlight, after whispering in his ear, "You saved me. Thank you."

Johnny Zacchara had no business taking pleasure in her warm body pressed to him. Anyone and everyone who loved him suffered for it. Just standing next to him could be deadly.

He knew the cold, cruel facts of his life in that moment. He could never forget who he was and what that meant for a second. But the feel of her was just too good, too comforting, too right, and he found himself relaxing into her hug till they were clinging to each other with her sister and her sister's boyfriend looking on.

He didn't know these people. They were just random strangers. Strangers who could have died for being near him.

Just because he asked where he could buy a cup of coffee- since he was new around there- they could be three cold, dead bodies on the docks right now. Never even knowing what they died over.

Except the guy. He must have seen Johnny on TV or in the news cause he was aware that Johnny's family was in the mob. And he wanted to get his friends away from Johnny as soon as possible.

Smart thinking.

He had thought when he moved out of his father's mansion the week before that he was finally free of all of the pain, misery and violence.

But maybe he would never be free.

Johnny knew he had to push away this sweet woman. Forget he ever met her or hugged her. But she was so soft and so kind, gripping him so tight in this hug that seemed to never end that it was hard to do. So hard to let go of her. But he did it. Because there was really no choice. The hug had to end and the sooner the better.

Stepping back, Johnny said "Your life wouldn't have been in danger if not for me, so don't be so quick with your thank you."

"Who's trying to kill you?" she asked "Enemies of your father? Who is he?"

She had heard her friend call him the 'son of a mob boss'.

"Anthony Zacchara. I'm John Zacchara and that wasn't a rival mob family that just took those shots at us. I knew those guys. They work for my father."

The blonde said "What the hell? Your father ordered a hit on you?"

"Its complicated," Johnny said.

"It fucking sounds like it," the other man told him. "Well, really, good luck with all that but its really not our business. Lets go, girls, now."

The blonde said "Just hold on! Damn. You help to save his life and now you just want to abandon him? What's your problem?"

"I was saving your life! And your sister's. He's a grown man. Don't worry about him."

"He's right," Johnny said. "I'll be fine. I'm sorry for all of this tonight. I'll just be on my way now."

He looked into a pair of dark brown stunningly compassionate eyes for a long moment- drinking her in- then he walked around all of them and headed up the stairs of the docks, determined to never see them again. Because, if he did, his father would just know that they were important to Johnny.

And then he would kill them....one by one...just like he had taken away every other person who ever meant a thing to Johnny.

He was on the top step when he heard the young woman call out "Wait!"

Johnny froze.

If he blew her off, and kept walking, she'd see he was a cold asshole and forget about him. That would be best for her. But he couldn't seem to make his feet start moving again.

He heard the couple arguing-about what to do about her sister- while the young woman ran up the stairs and touched Johnny's shoulder. He slowly turned around.

She said "I'm Georgie....you told me your name but you didn't ask mine."

"My mistake. I guess I'm not thinking straight tonight."

She smiled softly. "Its been a crazy night so I forgive you."

His heart just about burst out of his chest. Such a small thing. Her sweet, tender smile. But for a man who had never known kindness- only some wild sex with chicks he met in bars and was lucky to see three times, if that, before he got bored- one smile given from her to him was the same as a gift from Heaven.

She broke eye contact with him and motioned at her sister and her sister's boyfriend. "And that's Maxie and Logan."

They were still arguing. Logan said, through gritted teeth, "I'm five seconds from picking her up and carrying her out of here."

"You leave my sister alone! She's just being nice. You know how she is."

"Yeah, I know, and you should be damn worried."

"Stop being so controlling! I'll deal with her."

Georgie looked back at Johnny, with an embarrassed expression on her face. "Sorry."

He chuckled. "Who usually wins those fights?"

"She does. So we're okay."

"Listen...." he had to say something to get her to not be interested in him. But he didn't know what. Because if she felt half of what he did during that hug, and she had any stubbornness in her at all, wild horses wouldn't be able to drag her away from him. Maybe not ever again. And that would mean her life span just became very short. He couldn't let that happen.

"Why would your father want you dead, John?"

"Johnny. Usually people call me Johnny."

Logan and Maxie were still fighting. "Don't throw that in my face. I could work for the mob but I don't."

"You would have if Sonny said yes. So stop acting all above everyone else. Damn! You drive me crazy."

"You love it!"

"So what? You still drive me crazy."

Georgie told Johnny "Nice deflection but that didn't answer my question. I understand if its too personal....I just was concerned. Will you be safe tonight? Are they going to come after you again?"

"I doubt they were coming after me. It was probably you, your sister and your friend they were trying to scare off....if not take out."

"Why?"

"Because I'm my father's legacy. And I walked out on him last week. The only way he knows to get me back is to make my life away from him not worth living. Chase off any friends I make. See to it that I can't get a job. Cut me off from his money. Make my life hell. Till I go home and be who he wants again. So, do you see now? You shouldn't take pity on me or try to be nice to me....it's a deadly proposition."

"So you don't have any friends then?"

"What?"

"You just said he chases off all your friends."

"Georgie-"

She smiled brightly. She smiled because he said her name. He tried to not feel happy about that but he did. He went on "Listen to me. Your friend is right. This is not your problem."

"Logan is just being protective."

Suddenly, Logan broke away from his fight with Maxie-if you could call it that, it looked more like foreplay to Johnny- and stomped toward them. "Damn straight I am. Zacchara, it ain't personal, all right? But you know its not safe to have anybody around you who don't know how to shoot back. So these girls here, sorry, but they ain't your new friends."

"I can shoot back," Georgie said.

"Me too!" Maxie said. "Let me see that gun. I'll show you right now how good my aim is. Find something to be a target."

"Stop your crazy talk," Logan told her. "You know better than to even think you're getting your hands on my gun."

"Oh," she flirted "I'll get my hands on whatever of yours I want."

"You think so, do ya?"

Their eyes were locked on each other as they kept flirting back and forth.

Georgie blushed as she looked at Johnny. She whispered "I'm really very sorry. They are just...always like this."

"Its fine. He's right. Just let your friend take you home." Johnny started to walk backward.

He hated to take his eyes off this gorgeous woman who truly was concerned if he lived or died tonight but he knew he had to. He was just about to turn around when she called out "I work at Kelly's diner. Its right around the block from here. You wanted to know where to get a good cup of coffee, right? Well...that's the place....so stop in if you ever get thirsty again."

He couldn't help by smile at her shyness mixed with boldness. It was a unique combination and made her irresistible. He wondered why she didn't already have a man in her life. But she couldn't. Or else she wouldn't be looking at him the way she was.

"I'll keep that in mind," he told her.

Johnny walked off to the sound of Logan telling Georgie "That, right there, was the first and last time you ever talk to that guy."

"You don't run my life, Hayes!"

Johnny didn't want Logan to be right. But he knew he was. It was just a bad idea- and dangerous- to ever see Georgie again.


	101. jag 3

**Son of a Mob Boss**

**Part Three**

**August 2007**

"That's him," Georgie breathed out, as she sat on her friend Brooklyn Ashton's bed at the Quatermaine mansion. Brooke was in town for a short visit. She lived in New York City where she was pursuing a music career.

Georgie and Brooke were staring at a laptop, right after they googled the name Johnny Zacchara.

"Damn," Brooke said in a low whisper "They don't make men like that in Bensonhurst. My Ma would run him off fast if he tried to pick me up for a date. He looks like all kinds of trouble."

"You think so?"

"Hot trouble. I'd do him."

"Brooke!"

She laughed. "What? You want me to lie?"

"He seemed very nice. He was really upset that he could have gotten us hurt. It's so sad that his own father is torturing him like this. I just hate that he's suffering this way."

"Okay, be straight with me. I know you're the type to never see a lost puppy on the side of the road that you don't want to take home...hello? Diego.....but still, what's your deal with this guy? Its been Johnny, Johnny, Johnny coming out of your mouth for twenty four hours now. Were you in the door five seconds last night when you called me to say you met him?"

"I'm sorry I woke you up. I said that ten times already."

"You know I don't care that you woke me up. I care about why you're so into this guy who you don't even know. Some way to replace your Logan thoughts with new hot bad boy thoughts? Does this one have tattoos too? Hotter than that American flag on Logan? Cause I know that will so tip the scales if he does...then it will really be Logan who."

"This isn't about Logan. I wish I never even told you about my crush on him."

"I'm sorry. Was that last comment going too far? Just be honest with me, Georgie. Do you want Johnny for Johnny or just because he's the first hottie who came along that has a shot of making you forget about your sister's boyfriend?"

"You know I went on that date with Cooper."

"ZZZZZZZZZZ. Wake me up when this story gets interesting again."

"Cooper is really sweet."

"Sure he is but that's not the point."

"What's the point then? I could see myself with Cooper if the chemistry had been there."

"Exactly! You don't want to screw Cooper, no matter if he is sweet like candy. Spinelli is sweet too. Milo is sweet. This town's filled with sweet guys. So what? You don't want sweet anymore. Is this a bad boy phase you're working? Cause if so...hot! But tell the truth. Cause I don't think you know Johnny enough to be so wrapped up in him and have it be about him."

"Its about him."

"Yeah? Convince me."

"I know this will sound really stupid and lame but the second I looked at him...time stopped...and when I hugged him...I just never wanted to let go again. Then he told me his dad is out to ruin his life and force him back into the mob and I got so mad at his father...and so sad for him...and I didn't want to just forget about him. He has no friends, Brooke. None. He needs me."

"No friends. I've never heard that as a pick up line before."

Georgie chuckled. "Shut up, please, you're so wrong. He wasn't hitting on me."

"I have no friends...come to my place and be my friend," she joked. "My naked friend."

"Stop!" Georgie said, laughing.

"Boo hoo. No one likes me in the whole world. Drop your panties and make me feel better about myself."

Georgie smiled and joked back "That's it! You're not meeting him. I hope you're happy now."

"Oh, so you are planning to see him again? Going to track him down somehow? You don't know where he lives or works so how can you do that?"

"How do you think, Brooke?"

"The Jackal?"

"The Jackal."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

A day later Johnny was in his condo, practically crawling the walls as he waited for a call back from his sister. Claudia lived in Milan with their Uncle Rudy. She was supposed to be working on a plan to get his father locked up in a mental hospital. Until that happened Johnny didn't feel like he would be safe out on the streets.

His father goons could grab him and drag him back home-like they had too many times to count already in his life. Or they could shoot at the people around him. Another warning to Johnny to just come home before he got an innocent bystander killed.

But all the warnings in the world would not make Johnny go back to that mansion. It was like walking into Hell willing. He just couldn't do it.

Feeling trapped, alone, and desperate he climbed out onto the balcony and sat on the railing. Dangling his feet over he knew he could fall to his death easily. But he didn't really care.

This was a bad day for him. In a bad life. On top of all his other shitty, torturous problems he also was also missing a pair of brown eyes. He wondered where she was right now.

Would he ever be free of his father and able to go see her at Kelly's Diner? Would she even remember him by that point?

It was early evening and all the time between now and when he would finally fall asleep stretched in front of him like a prison sentence. He was used to doing alone and lonely but it just got worse each day. He left his father's home to finally build a life for himself- living for now on money from his Uncle Rudy- but he wasn't building anything. He was trapped like a rat in a new maze. He traded the mansion and Crimson Point for a condo and Port Charles.

It would be better if he left the whole area. But that had never been an option.

His doorbell rang. He startled and nearly fell off the railing. Throwing himself back onto the balcony, he was breathing hard when he grabbed his gun and went to answer the door. "Yeah, who is it?"

"Georgie Jones. I'm not sure you remember me but we met on the docks a few nights back."

How had she found him? He pulled open the door, shoving the gun back in his holster. "Sure, I remember you."

She smiled brightly. "Oh, good." She was carrying a box filled with paper bags. "So how are you doing, Johnny?"

"Uh...all right, I guess. What brings you by? And, not to be rude or nothing, but how did you figure out my address?"

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting your day. I had a friend look you up online...a friend who is really good at finding out information. I brought you dinner."

"You did?"

"Yes, I hope that's okay. I didn't know what you liked so I have Kelly's, Eli's and Chow's Garden here. Can I set this down?"

He took the box from her but blocked the door. "You really shouldn't come in."

"Oh....are you busy?"

"No."

Her eyes fluttered down. "This was really presumptuous of me. What you must think of me now."

"I think you're beautiful, Georgie."

Her eyes jerked up. "You don't have a girl inside of there with you?"

"A girl? Nope. I only know one girl and she just brought me dinner."

"So why can't I stay and share it with you?"

"Because my life isn't really fit for someone like you. You saw that when you almost got shot the other night."

She gently placed her hand on his chest, pushed him back, and walked inside. "If that is the best you could come up with then...we're having dinner together."


	102. jag 4

**Son of a Mob Boss**

**Part Four**

**August 2007**

At first it seemed like he didn't want her there. Her heart sunk down to her toes. How could she be so unlucky to have every guy she wanted to want her- like Diego and Logan, lately, and before that Dillon- always end up being a big disaster? Why couldn't it be simpler? Why couldn't they be free to love her or honest about wanting her or not go for anybody else but her?

She just about turned and left, after Johnny said she shouldn't come in, but he was still affecting her just like the first night. Still making her heart beat fast. Her skin heat up. Her breath catch in her throat. So she stood her ground.

And he said his father was the problem. Well his father was not ruining this for her or for him. His father had done enough already. Put that sad look in Johnny's eyes. Made it so he had no friends. Shot at them. His father was not in charge of Georgie. To Hell with that man and what he wanted.

So she pushed her way inside. Sometimes a moment called for being bold. And Georgie knew better than to let another moment like that pass her by while she played meek good girl.

"Georgie," he said as she walked inside "you're sweet, really."

"Sweet. The kiss of death."

He chuckled. "Seriously, I just think you ought to leave before-"

"Before what? I enjoy a nice dinner with you. Why would I want to do that? Do you want me to do that, Johnny? Or do you just feel like you have to say that because your father will go after all your friends? Do you really want to use that as an excuse to send me away?"

"Its not a joke. He will go after you if he thinks you mean anything at all to me."

"There's nothing about this that's a joke to me. I'm here because I'd like to have dinner with you. I'm just asking you to be honest. Do you want to have dinner with me or not?"

"Now you're just being stubborn." He set down the box of food on the coffee table. "You need me to spell this out for you? Okay, fine. Would I like to have dinner with a hot chick like you? Hell yeah. Is it a good idea? No. Do I care about that? Not really. But do I want to see you hurt over me...absolutely never. So, thanks for the food, but you need to get out of here now."

XXXXXXXXXXX

She glared at him. He thought the fire in her eyes was blazing hot. Damn this chick was sexy.

Georgie asked, crossing her arms over her chest, "How old do you think I am, Johnny?"

"I don't know. Twenty?"

"I'm nineteen. But I'm an adult. I'm actually divorced so I'm not a little girl who you or Logan or my father get to boss around. This is my life and I get to decide what risks to take. Now, I hate to have to tell you this, but you've really made the first few minutes of our dinner together lousy. Do you plan to mess up the rest of the night or can we start over right now and see if we can make this nice?"

He couldn't help but smile. "You want nice?"

"Yes, please." She uncrossed her arms.

He walked closer to her. His voice dropped low."Hi, I'm Johnny. I'm a Sagittarius. Don't ask about what I do for a living-cause I'm kinda between jobs- or about my family. My hobbies are racing cars and playing the piano."

She smiled widely. Looking so happy that his heart turned over.

"Hi, I'm Georgie. I'm a Pieces. I'm in college right now studying comparative literature. I'd like to be a writer one day. I plan to travel the whole world but I'll always come back here because family is the most important thing to me- even when they act a little crazy."

"Mine's actually crazy. Every last one of us."

"You don't look crazy to me."

"Stick around and see if I'm right or you are."

She bit her bottom lip and looked away. She was absolutely glowing. Standing there with her made Johnny feel alive again.

He asked her "Would you like to have some dinner with me? It seems all this food just showed up on my doorstep."

Looking at him again, she teased, "Its so strange when that happens."

"Completely strange." He motioned for her to sit down at the nearby table, that was in front of the balcony doors.

He pulled out a chair for her. She sat down in it. He leaned close to her ear. "Your perfume is amazing."

"Blame Maxie."

"I should offer to buy you a hundred bottles of it. Just as a thank you for being here right now."

She looked up and into his eyes. "Thank you for having me over."

He chuckled. "You didn't leave a lot of choice in that."

"A girl has to do what a girl has to do, John."

He smiled and headed for the kitchen to get silverware and plates.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

This woman is phenomenal, was what Johnny was thinking as he came back into the room and they started to eat. She just set her sights on him and went for it. Not backing down for anything. Even though he could see she was shy and nervous, she fought through that for him.

Wow.

He really could enjoy getting to know her. He still felt like it wasn't safe or fair to her but maybe his father would be locked up soon and that threat would be gone. He'd worry about it later. He wanted to enjoy a few hours with this beautiful woman who had came into his dull, boring, pitiful little life.

He choose to not sit at the other end of the table from her. Instead she set at one end and he sat to her right. The food was spread out in front of them. Johnny fixed them soft drinks and then they started eating.

"So, tell me something, Georgie. What's wrong with the men in this town that you're single and able to come have dinner with me?"

"I'm not sure."

He smiled. So honest and sweet. "Their loss."

"Is there a woman in Crimson Point...or anywhere....who is missing you right now?"

"You know I'm from Crimson Point. You researched more than my address, huh?"

"You left no choice. Again."

"Do you always go for what you want this fiercely?"

She blushed. "I usually just concentrate on school, work, volunteering, my friends, my family...you know, life. I haven't dated anyone in a year."

"What happened to that last guy?"

"He died."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

"It was really complicated. We weren't together when it happened. He was just important to me and then...he was gone. Before him, I was married. Have you ever been?"

"Married? No. Not me. That would have meant getting out of my father's house and I only pulled that off about ten days ago. Pathetic, huh? I should have left years ago but he don't make it easy."

"But you're out now and that's all that matters. You can get the life you want for yourself. First up...getting you some friends."

"Look. I shouldn't have told you that."

"Why not? Its nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I can tell it made you feel sorry for me. Is that what this is? A pity dinner."

She looked at his food. "Your sesame chicken is getting cold, Johnny." She stabbed a piece with her fork and brought it to his lips. He ate it. She looked in his eyes. "No. Its not a pity dinner. I'm here because you make me want to be here...okay?"

He chewed and swallowed.

Their hug came back into his mind. The feel of all her soft curves pressed to him. How he left out a breath and relaxed against her. How tightly she held him. Maybe she felt just as much in that moment and that's why she was taking on the challenge of breaking down his walls.

He asked "Does your friend know you're here? Is he pissed off?"

"Who? Logan?"

"Yeah, he didn't seem too into the idea of you ever seeing me again."

"Logan is dating my sister. I'm sure you could tell that the other night. I was half afraid they would rip each other's clothes off right there in front of us. So what he thinks about what I do really means very little to me."

"Very little but not nothing?"

"His heart is in the right place...sorta...but he's dead wrong about me and you."

"Me and you," he repeated, staring into her beautiful eyes.

"Me and you," she said happily, as if she waited forever to meet him and would never let him go.

He grinned. She smiled. Johnny broke the moment by looking down. "You like sesame chicken?" He put some on a fork and fed it to her.

And by that time he was so into her that he hated the idea of her leaving his place that night. Because she brought light into his dark world.


	103. jag 5

**Son of a Mob Boss**

**Part Five**

**August 2007**

Georgie knew she was being extremely- as Brooke would call it- ballsy when it came to Johnny Zacchara.

But she couldn't help it. Every time it looked like he was about to walk out of her life...on the docks, and when he asked her to not come into his condo....she felt this rush of adrenaline go through her. In a moment like that she would do or say anything to make sure that she could see him another time.

It might not make sense, because she barely knew him, but the sense was found in his eyes. They were deep, dark, soul healing-for her- eyes.

And lusting after him made a hell of a lot more sense than lusting after Logan- who belonged to her sister and probably always would. Even if he didn't, she couldn't make a play from him. It would be all sorts of wrong and rude to Maxie. They were in love and had been for six months already. Her little crush had to fade away.

Johnny was making it fade away faster than Georgie would have guessed was possible. All that pain and loneliness she felt for months on end was dissipating around her heart, being replaced with hopefulness over Johnny.

He called her beautiful. He said he wanted to have dinner with a hot chick like her. He had no friends and he really needed her in his life. He was scared to let her in. She'd just have to convince him it would be worse- on both of them- to push her out.

He looked at all the food she brought- from Kelly's, Eli's and Chow's Garden. "You buy out half the town or what?"

"I wasn't sure what kind of food you like."

"Mainly Italian. I was raised on Northern Italy cuisine. Way different that what you find in the typical restaurant around here. What about you?"

"Meat and potatoes. That's what my Dad...Mac...likes. My step-dad, actually, but I don't really think of him that way. My birth father has never been around."

"What an ass."

"He decided to pursue a life of being a top secret super spy instead."

He chuckled.

She said "I'm serious. My birth father, my uncle, my aunt and my cousin's god father are all agents for the WSB."

"Wow."

"I know. Its weird, right?"

"So do you and...what was your sister's name? Maxine?"

"Maxie."

"You and Maxie ever think about becoming spies too? Maybe before you wanted to be a writer?"

"You remember."

"You just told me."

"Still, its nice." She smiled at him, then she put some more Chinese food on her plate. "No, I never did. My dad taught us to shoot, and self defense, and what to do if we get kidnaped or held hostage and lots of other things normal kids don't learn but it never really made us interested in being in law enforcement like him. He helped to raise my cousin Robin and she became a doctor. Maxie works in a boutique and her life is fashion. And I'm determined to work for a newspaper or magazine one day. I think my Dad is happy with the way it turned out, actually. Because my Mom is kinda a danger junkie and it worked out bad for him when she got involved with another man who was into danger too. It seemed like she couldn't stop herself, even if she wanted to."

"I know what that's all about. Sometimes I think I'd do anything just for an adrenaline rush."

"Like what?"

"Race cars, drive speed boats. Uh...sky dive, base jump....walk on ledges twenty or thirty stories up...."

"What?"

"Its not as bad as it sounds."

She raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled. "Okay, its insane. It looks like I was right about Zaccharas being crazy. Does that make you want to run out of here?"

"No. It does make me want you to move to a lower floor in this building though."

He smiled at her. "Don't sweat it. I'll be fine."

"Will you be? What's going on with your father now? Did you talk to him about shooting at you the other night?"

"I have that handled."

"So there's no more danger then? Good."

"I didn't say that, Georgie."

She concentrated on her food for a minute. "I don't know why your father wants to hurt you this way. Its so wrong."

"Don't feel sorry for me, okay. Seriously."

"I don't feel sorry for you. I feel mad. What kind of father shoots at his son?"

"Mine."

"Tell me why he does that."

"He's mentally unstable and he's living in a world where I'm eight years old and my mother is still alive and she's tending to her roses in the garden he planted for her. Its sick. Really sick. But its nothing you need to worry about."

"I'm sorry he's so ill. And I'm sorry you lost your Mom so young. I read about her death online."

"Yeah well that was the official story. Its not the truth. A gun didn't go off while it was being cleaned by a gaurd....my father shot her."

Georgie gasped.

Johnny stood up. "Now you see this is real. He can shoot her, in front of me, he can shoot you and your sister and all your friends. I enjoyed this dinner but it needs to be the last one."

"No." Georgie went back to eating her food.

"You can't ignore reality. My life is not safe for you. So you can't come back here."

"I think you're just saying that because you feel you have to, not because you want to. And all that should matter is what we want."

Johnny slammed his hand down on the table. Just thinking about his mother dying made him full of grief. He leaned over and looked at Georgie, who was sitting there stock still since the moment his hand banged down onto the table.

He said "Being from a family of super spies has made you one fiery little girl but-"

She grabbed his shirt. Looking him dead in the eyes she said "I'm not a little girl."

Their breathing was both shallow. He jerked away. "You're not thinking straight right now!"

"Of course I'm not!" She jumped to her feet. "All I can think about is finding a way to see you again."

His breathing got even more ragged. He turned away from her.

After a moment, Georgie said "I would have left ten times by now, after all you've said about wanting me out of here, but for a couple things. One, I know you don't have this great big life full of other plans, friends, and you've said you don't have a girlfriend or wife. So I know you don't have anything better to do. Two, I don't have a big life either. I do have lots of things to do and lots of friends...but I have no one to date....and so, no, Johnny. You can't run me off. Because all the other guys I know that I could actually date....aren't you. I would like to have more dinners with you. Even if you make them half lousy when you tell me to go away."

He slowly turned around. "I'm not trying to mess up this night. Believe it or not, I'd like to give you a great night of memories, Georgie. Really I would. But I'm not presently in any position to offer that. If you aren't a child then act like a grown up and stop making this so hard on me."

"Is this one of those He's Just Not That Into You moments? Be honest."

All the tension fell out of the room when he chuckled. "What does that even mean?"

"It's a book. Its about how guys give you clues that they don't want you. Like they say You're too good for me and Its not you, its me and If I was five years older, you'd be the one....you know...lies so they don't have to flat out say they don't like the woman. And about other stuff they do to show they don't care. Maxie read it and then gave it to me."

"No," he said, tenderly. "Its not one of those moments. I swear to you."

Georgie walked close to him. She whispered "Do you want me here? Not thinking about your father, just thinking about you."

He stared at her. His hand rose to brush some hair out of her eyes. "You're so pretty."

"Really?" she whispered.

"And you never back down."

"Do you want me to?"

"Look I'm so flattered, really, but-"

Her face crumpled. "Okay, that's enough. You don't have to keep coming up with new ways to say you're not interested." She moved away from him, grabbed her purse, and headed for the door.

He grabbed her hand and tugged her flush against him. "Georgie, I'm interested. 1000 percent."

She smiled slightly. "Is there any but coming?"

"But its dangerous to date me."

"Johnny," she whispered, looking into his eyes, "couldn't we just have all our dates in this apartment till you can figure out a way to make your father back off?"

He grinned. "Spending all our time in this apartment is a different sort of dangerous."

She blushed slightly. "Not if you're a gentleman."

"A gentleman? Hmmm. I guess there's a first time for everything."

She smiled a little wider. "So you're saying.....we can have more dinners?"

"Yeah, sure. We can have more dinners."

She backed away from him. "Good. Then you call me and ask me out. My number is in the book under Commissioner Malcolm Scorpio. Night, Johnny. This was great."

Georgie left, leaving him there completely stunned and desperate to kiss her.


	104. jag 6

Thanks for reading this Jag story.

**Son of a Mob Boss**

**Part Six**

**August 2007**

Georgie walked into the elevator, after leaving Johnny's apartment, with a huge smile on her face. She dialed her cell. "Brooke! You are not going to believe this! Oh my God...I just saw Johnny again."

"Tracked his ass down, did you?"

"Yes! And it was fantastic."

"He's that good in bed, huh? Hot! Tell me everything."

Georgie giggled. "Okay, shut up. We just had dinner. And we kinda got in a fight about if it was safe to date but he caved. So he's supposed to call me and then we can get together again....he's just so...."

"Delicious? He looks it. Tell me if he kisses like the bad ass he looks like."

"I don't know. We didn't kiss."

"You're jumping up and down over just seeing him. Just looking at him? He's got you way far gone, Georgie. Way far gone."

"He's hot to look at but he's more than that. He's brave. He's risking his life to leave the mob behind. He's sensitive and noble. He kept telling me to not get my life tangled up with his but I just don't care if its dangerous. He doesn't want to be in the mob so its not his fault there's danger. I don't think its fair that he suffers by living a lonely life just because of his father's mental health issues and bad career choices. Johnny deserves happiness."

"And you plan to give it to him, don't you?"

"Yep! And I plan to let him give me happiness right back."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"What's wrong with your sister?" Logan asked Maxie, as he walked into her bedroom two days later. "She won't tell me nothing."

"She's still crying and watching sad movies on the couch?"

"Yeah. She's covered in Kleenex and her nose is all red. What happened? And if this has anything at all to do with the time of the month, do not say anything more. Just let it drop."

"Johnny didn't call her like he said he would."

"That Zacchara kid? Good. All the better. He's got a nutcase father and I don't need the stress in my life."

"Okay, Logan, this isn't all about you! My sister is sad. I have half a mind to go find Johnny and tell him off good."

"Forget about that idea. You stay away from him."

"Jealous?" She was on her knees on the bed, so that she was eye-to-eye with Logan as he stood next to the bed.

"I don't got to be jealous cause you ain't going no where but back to my place and getting in my bed, girl."

"Think again. I can't leave Georgie like this. What movie was on when you came in?"

"That boat one."

"Titanic? You so know the name of it!"

"I don't want to know the name of it though. Stupid broad throwing that necklace in the ocean."

Maxie gave him a quick kiss. "I have to go check on her. You go make hot chocolate. You know she likes that."

"I think it would be easier to just kill this Zacchara guy. We go to a funeral and she's over this in a week."

"Ha ha."

Logan chuckled. He headed downstairs to make hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and do his best to take care of his girls.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie sat on the couch with her conversation with Logan replaying in her head.

"_Aw, girl, what's all this about?"_

"_It's a sad movie."_

"_So turn it off."_

"_I like it."_

"_It sure don't look like it. Come on, now, talk to me. What's brought on these waterworks? And don't say it's the movie again."_

"_Maxie is up in her room."_

"_That's good for Maxie. I'm worried about you right now. Did someone do something to hurt your feelings or something like that, Georgie?"_

_She sniffled. "I'm fine."_

_He sat down on the coffee table, which was right in front of her. She averted her eyes. He was so close and his face so filled with worry. She just wanted to throw herself into his arms and ask him to hold her forever. But it wasn't an option._

"_Tell me who hurt you and I'll make them real sorry."_

"_You came here to see my sister. Go see her, Logan. I'm not your concern or problem. I'm not the one you're in love with so don't worry about me."_

"_You know better than that. You know me. I do love you, girl. Just you, Maxie and Coop. So I'm worried. Call me foolish, if you want. And tell me I'm butting my ass in where it don't belong. But don't think that's gonna make me stop. Cause, you're right, I'm kinda nuts over your sister and that makes you one of my girls to always take care of."_

"_I can take care of myself!" she yelled at him tearfully. "Now go. You're blocking my movie."_

I do love you, girl. He'd never know how much that hurt. And how much she needed strong arms to wrap around her and give her all the love that it felt like all the other girls in the world could get so easily. The love she was always losing out on.

Why didn't Johnny call?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Johnny kept calling Milan to see about the status of the lawyers who were working on a motion to declare Anthony insane and in need of being confined to a mental hospital. His sister and Uncle Rudy assured him it would just be a few more days till the lawyers were ready to file an emergency order and go in front of judge.

As much as Johnny wanted to call Georgie he didn't want to argue with her about why she couldn't come back to his place yet. He thought about it and thought about it and it was still too dangerous.

Some of his father's men might see her entering the building and put two and two together. Hell, for all he knew, his apartment was bugged. He'd never live with himself if she was hurt because she got a crush on him.

He knew he'd lose any arguement with her because her soft, sweet voice would wear him down. The only way to keep her away till it was safe was to not talk to her.

He thought about sending her flowers but that would just be another way to announce to the world he was into her.

He decided the safest thing to do would be to send her a letter. He put it in the mail the afternoon after they had dinner together. It would take a few days to get there but it was the best he could do.

He didn't put any return address on it so unless someone saw him mail it- and looked over his shoulder to read who it was addressed to- no one would ever know he sent anything to her. He made sure no one was around when he went to the mailbox.

Georgie was just so beautiful and kind and good to him...he hated to disappoint her...but the reality was that, until his father was locked away, he just couldn't date her. Still when he looked into her eyes it was so hard to remember reality and so hard to keep telling her they couldn't have their dinners that she was begging for.

He needed his father to end up in Ferncliff and soon. For the sake of starting Johnny's real life finally and for the sake of not messing up this thing with Georgie.

She was an irreplaceable woman. He only hoped his letter to her showed her what she meant to him. And that, by the time she got it, it wasn't too late to matter anymore.

XXXXXXXXXX

Georgie walked into her house the next day, carrying her book bag, with Brooke following behind her. "Let me just change really quick and we can go to the movies."

She had worked a shift at Kelly's after her morning classes and she didn't want to go out in her work clothes. Brooke was doing her best to keep Georgie's mind off that liar John Zacchara.

"Sure we can have more dinners," he had said with a grin.

Ass.

Georgie didn't even want to think about him or how crazy and silly and desperate she acted over that man. Just because when she looked in his eyes she got all turned on. Well, so what? It didn't mean her brain should fall out of her head.

Still he was so lonely, she thought. He needed her, she thought. But he must not. That must have been what she imagined so it would seem like they were right for each other. She refused to even think about it any more.

As Georgie was walking upstairs, Brooke said "It looks like your Cosmo came. Mind if I look at it?"

"Go ahead. But that's Maxie's, not mine. I get US News and World Report."

"Hot!"

Georgie chuckled.

Brooke joked "I get Playgirl."

"Shut up!" Georgie said, giggling. "You do not!"

"Just for the articles."

"Shut up! You're so bad, Brooke!"

Brooke called up the stairs. "It looks like you have a letter here too."

"From who?"

"It doesn't say. There's a local postmark though."

"Weird. I'll be down in a minute, okay?"

"Take your time."

When Georgie came back down she walked over to the mail and opened the letter. "Hmm." Unfolding it she looked at the bottom and read:

Missing you already,

Johnny.

Then she gasped.

Brooke looked up from the magazine. "What? Don't tell me Frisco wrote you?"

"No. But Johnny did."

"What?!" Brooke jumped up and ran over. "What does it say? And why did he write instead of call or text or e-mail?"

"He doesn't have my e-mail or cell number," Georgie said, distractedly as she started to read the letter.

"Well tell me what he said."

"Okay.

Dear Georgie,

I know I said I would call you but its not a great idea for us to talk at all until I get things worked out on my end with my father. It won't take much longer. This is not a He's Not That Interested Moment..."

Brooke corrected "Into you."

Georgie kept reading "I'm interested. But I need some time. So if you can wait a little longer than please do. We'll have our dinners if you wait on me. I'm sorry for not calling. If you're angry I understand. Please be careful and keep your distance. I'll call you when its safe."

Georgie looked at Brooke. She smiled slightly. "He misses me already is how he ended it."

"So hot!"

Georgie smile grew. "I have to write him back."


	105. jag 7

**Son of a Mob Boss**

**Part Seven**

**August 2007**

Johnny was pacing outside of the courtroom as he waited for the competency hearing to begin. His sister, Trevor and Ric were inside but Johnny found the court room too confining.

In his pocket was a letter Georgie wrote to him that he just received that morning. It warmed his soul to know she cared at all about him, especially since they just met. But she seemed to just dedicate herself to finding a way for them to date and see if the sparks they felt would lead to a flame and then a smoking hot fire.

He thought they would.

Her letter read:

Dear Johnny,

How are you? I hope you're doing well.

I have to admit I was pretty adamant about never speaking to you again, until your letter arrived. I understand you feel like you're doing the best you can right now to keep both of us safe.

I will wait for you to work things out with your father. Having our dinners means a lot to me. Please don't let anything happen to you. You may feel that your father has made it so you can't have any friends but you have me.

It didn't take me long to decide that I wanted you in my life. I hope you've decided the same about me.

Miss you so much,

Georgie.

He had read the letter over and over. Every time it made him feel less lonely and afraid. She really was amazing. He couldn't wait till his father was no longer a threat for either of them.

Johnny was about to turn and walk back into the courtroom when he spotted Georgie- wearing a dress and heels- come walking down the hallway. She smiled sweetly at him.

He jogged over to her. Taking her by the arms he pulled her behind a pillar. "What are you doing here? How did you know about this?"

"I have a friend who works for Sonny Corinthos. Sonny heard about it and so did my friend and he told me."

"You shouldn't be here." Johnny grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall in the opposite direction. He pulled her into a stairwell. "You need to go home."

"Wait. I thought that after your father is put into a mental hospital that the danger will be over for us?"

"It will be a lot less, yeah. Because my sister is taking over for him. Not me. I'm out of that life for good. But, Georgie, there is a chance he won't get put away today and then what? He can't know who you are and that you matter to me."

"If he's as sick as you say then he will get committed. You need me here, Johnny. If not me, someone. Do you have someone else to be with you?"

"Yeah, I have my sister Claudia. She flew in today from Milan for this hearing. So I'm okay. Thanks for caring and all but go."

"I'm sorry that I upset you by coming here."

"You didn't....you worried me, cause I want to know you're safe. But I'm not upset you want to support me."

"Be honest, am I coming on too strong? I get these ideas about you, like taking you dinner and coming here today, and I do them before my brain catches up to my body. I'm already looking at you before I think it might have been a bad idea."

"They're great ideas, Georgie. Seriously." He took her letter out and said "Thanks for writing me but you should take this back. I wouldn't want anyone to find it on me and connect us."

The smartest thing would be to burn the letter but he just couldn't do it.

"Johnny! This is getting to be ridiculous."

"This is my life. And its not a game."

She took the letter. "If your father is committed....will you tell me there's some other danger that makes it so we can't possibly even have one more dinner in secret somewhere?"

"You want to know that I won't ever tell you the danger is too great again? Well I can't promise that. All I can say is I'll let you know when I know. Lets just see what happens when it happens. But I can't offer you complete safety, Georgie, even though I really want to be able to."

She stared at him for a long moment. "This is a big day for you. You won't have to worry about him anymore now. You'll be free, Johnny."

"That's all I've wanted since I was a kid."

"I hope he gets the help he needs because its important to have a father around you can love and count on."

"He's never been that guy. I'm ready for him to just be a bad memory in my life." His phone vibrated. He looked at it and said "They're getting ready to start. I should go."

Georgie nodded. She put her hand on the door knob. Johnny was behind her. He put his hand on the door to keep it closed, as he whispered in her ear, "How about one of those amazing hugs you give before you leave?"

She turned around- and for the second time in their lives- they clung to each other as if the rest of the world did not exist.

XXXXXXXXX

That afternoon, Johnny came walking into Kelly's. Sitting at the counter were Maxie and Logan, plus a man Johnny didn't recognize. He didn't see Georgie anywhere around.

"Maxie, right? Not Maxine. Maxie. Hey."

She smiled at him. "Johnny. And you're not on my shit list today. Lucky for you." She looked at the other guy there. "Coop, this is the guy she won't stop going on about. Johnny Zacchara this is Cooper Barrett. He doesn't hate you half as much as Logan does."

Logan smirked at her. "It ain't hate. Its just looking out for my girls. It's a twenty four seven job, you want to know the truth."

She gave him a quick kiss. "You know you love every damn second of it so stop whining."

Johnny nodded at Cooper. "Good to meet you."

"You too, man. I've heard plenty about you lately."

"Plenty?" Maxie joked, smiling. "I don't hear anything else but his name around my house." She stared at Johnny for a moment. "You better be all she thinks you are or else I'm gonna give Logan the go signal and once that happens....everything cute about your face right now will just be the before picture."

Johnny cringed.

Logan stared him down.

"Lets not let it get to that point," Johnny said.

Maxie shrugged. "Up to you, really."

Johnny asked Maxie "So, is your sister around?"

Before Maxie could answer, Georgie came walking out of the kitchen. Her eyes met Johnny's. A moment later she ran over to him and jumped into his arms. He lifted her off the ground, hugging her close to him.

Logan grumbled "Check this shit out."

Maxie smacked his arm.

Cooper smiled at Georgie and Johnny. Johnny set her back down. He looked down at her smiling face. Sweet adoration was in her eyes. He knew he hadn't earned that look yet but he planned to. "You want to go for a drive when you're off work?"

"Sure."

"What time?"

"Seven."

"I'll be back to pick you up then."

"Okay, Johnny."

He nodded at her friends and left. Looking back in the window he smiled as he saw Georgie happily hugging Maxie, while Logan rolled his eyes over the whole thing.

XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX

Georgie could not have been happier as she waited outside Kelly's for Johnny to show up. After a whole year of feeling like she was unwanted by any man who she wanted, after a year of loneliness and pain, after days of crying and feeling jealous of Maxie having Logan, she was finally involved with someone who made her heart race again.

When Johnny came walking up to her, she just about squealed in excitement because he was carrying a single yellow rose. He handed it to her and brushed a kiss on her cheek. "For waiting."

"It wasn't that long. Just a week."

"A long week though. For me anyway."

"Yes, a long week for me too. But they all seemed long this last year."

"You know what they say, right? Time flies when you're having fun. You ready to have some fun with me?"

"I've been ready."

He nodded toward the parking lot. "Then lets go, Georgie."

She took his hand. "Okay, lead the way."

He smiled down at her for a moment then took her to his car. He opened the door of his car and she got inside. It was an 1960's fully restored Mustang. He drove for a half an hour, with the radio playing loud, and then pulled the car to a stop at a lake. It was sitting behind a house. The whole area was deserted.

"Who lives here?"

"It's a safe house."

"Oh."

"Would you like to dance with me?"

She smiled. "I'd like that a lot, actually. How'd you guess?"

The setting sun made the sky a haze of pinks and oranges. Johnny started a song and then they climbed out of the car. They met in front of it and he pulled her into his arms.

The song played:

Love, like a road that never ends, how it leads me back again.. to heartache.. I'll never understand. Darling, I put my heart upon the shelf till the moment was right and I tell myself...next time I fall in love I'll know better what to do. Next time I fall in love. The next time I fall in love. The next time I fall in love, it will be with you.

Oh, now, as I look into your eyes, well I wonder if it's wise to hold you like I've wanted to beforetonight. Ooh, I was thinking that you might be the one who breathes life into this heart of time I fall in love, I'll know better what to do. Next time I fall in love. Ooh. The next time I fall in love. The next time I fall in love, it will be with you.

Next time, I'm gonna follow through, and if it drives me crazy, I will know better why, the next time I try. Next time I fall in love, I'll know better what to do. Next time I fall in love. Ooh, ooh, ooh. The next time I fall in love. The next time I fall in love, it will be with you."


	106. jag 8

**Son of a Mob Boss**

**Part Eight**

**August 2007**

Johnny spread a blanket on the ground in front of the lake, at the safe house that he took Georgie too. The sun had just set. They stared up at the stars.

He said "If you get cold I bought you a sweat shirt. Its in the trunk. So just let me know, okay?"

"That was really considerate, Johnny. Thank you."

"I just want you to be happy tonight."

"I'm happy so far."

Johnny propped himself up on one elbow, so he could look down at her. "There's food inside the house so we can warm it up later for dinner. Some Chinese. Hope that's all right."

"Its fine. So you were out here earlier then?"

"I wanted to get the house opened up and cleaned. We rarely use this place."

"So what is a safe house for exactly? Hiding from the police or other mobsters or what? Its not usually for dates, is it?"

"Its just a place to go where the world doesn't know you're there."

"I could like a place like that. A lot."

"It will be good if I don't got to keep hiding though. But if you're with me....I could like it too." He grinned at her.

"So why are we here? Are you still hiding from the men your father sent after you? Not that I'm complaining. Its beautiful here."

"I'm glad you think that. The reason I wanted to bring you here is that a lot of crazy stuff is going on tonight, with my family's business. Claudia is taking it over and she has to meet with some other heads of the families. If I went...they'd think I'm part of all that...and I'm not. So that's why I'm not with her. I want to help my sister but I just can't go back to that lifestyle again."

"Of course you can't. Being in the mob only ends up two ways. Either you die or you go to prison. You're better than that. And I hope you want better than that for yourself."

"Yeah, I want more. But I'm not sure what. All I know how to do is play piano and fix cars."

"Either one would give you a great career."

"No, not really. One is a starving artist and the other is a grease monkey."

"First of all,-"

He grinned at her stern tone.

She went on "You'd only be starving if you are not talented. If you are talented then you would get gigs and you'd be successful. If your not rich, who cares? Life is not just about money. Its about family and following dreams. And if you went the other way and fixed cars, you'd be doing a good thing for people with car trouble. Just because its not white collar does not make it low class, Johnny. And I'm kind of offended you would think that."

"Okay, you convinced me," he said with an easy grin. "Remind me to never be an idiot enough to think I'm winning an arguement with you."

"I'll listen to your side but, yes, I have strong opinions. I hope you aren't one of those guys that hates that."

"Nope. I don't hate anything about you so far."

"Good."

The music kept playing. It was all eighties love songs. Johnny said "These songs...this is what my mom used to listen to...I learned the piano to all these songs. I play by ear."

"Wow! That means you're a natural."

"I really enjoy it, Georgie. It's the one thing that is just mine."

"We'll find you more things to call just yours.....your condo that you can finally start to relax in now, your new friends...well my friends but they want to know you too...and your new job and your new future."

"And my woman."

Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned down and kissed her. She brought her hand up to hold the back of his head. It was a sweet and gentle kiss filled with hopefulness.

When Johnny slowly pulled away from Georgie, a single tear slid from her eye. She turned her head to the side, overcome with emotion, looking away from him.

He bent down and kissed the tear away. She sucked in a shaky breath.

Johnny lay down on the blanket and eased her against his side, motioning for her to lay her head on his chest, which she did. Her arm lay over his waist. He took her hand in his. "I don't know why I fought you, Georgie. I knew I wanted you from the moment you hugged me on the docks."

"You said to keep me safe."

"That was true. And I probably also didn't know how to believe in this...in something going right. But I'm trying to tonight...for you."

"All I know is when I look at you I believe in love again. And I know I have to do everything and anything to not let that feeling go without a fight."

"We don't have to fight because we both want the same thing." He ran his hand over her hair. "I want more dinners with you, okay? I want to see what we can be together. Can we do that?"

"You already know what I want. I think me showing up on your door said it all."

"That was a great night."

"This is a great night, too."

"Yeah, it is," he said with a grin. "I've never had a night like this before with a woman. You're sorta my first everything, Georgie."

She raised her head off his chest. "What do you mean?"

"I've dated but I've never been in a relationship."

"I've only been in one. My high school boyfriend turned into my husband. His name is Dillon and he just moved away to take a new job. And then there was also the man that I told you about who died- Diego. But we weren't really a couple."

"You've been through so much. Getting hitched and divorced and your friend passing away. I bet that was tough on you."

"It was. But I'm strong again now."

"Its my good luck that I came along when you're ready to date again and that you set your sights on me."

"I know I'm the one pushing for this chance for us but I just feel....I feel...you make me feel....alive."

He rolled her over so that she was laying on her back, and he was looking down at her. "You make me feel alive too. You're my best adrenaline rush ever," he whispered as he kissed her for a second time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She couldn't believe this was real. This sexy man kissing her and saying she was hot enough to make his heart race. It was everything she'd been missing this last year.

Johnny brought out the fiercest side of Georgie. All she wanted was to grab him and never let go. She knew they needed each other so desperately.

Two lonely souls searching for happiness and wholeness. Together they would have to search no more.

His first kiss to her had been so emotionally intense that she cried. And this second kiss was erotic. Slow and tongue tangling. Not pushing for sex or anything more, just showing her that he was turned on by her.

She reveled in this feeling of being kissed by such a hot guy. And of being the only woman on earth who Johnny was going to let heal all the broken places inside of himself.

When he finally broke the kiss, he grinned down at her. "No more walking on ledges. When I want to remember I'm still breathing, I'll find you and kiss you like I just did."

"Do you promise me?"

"Yeah, I promise."

She smiled widely. "Okay. Lets go have some dinner now. Its getting cold out here."

He stood up and helped her up, then bent down and grabbed the blanket. He went to the trunk and put the blanket inside and then took out the pink sweat shirt he bought for Georgie. He tossed it to her.

Johnny turned off the car.

Georgie slid into the sweat shirt. "You went to the mall today for this? I thought you just meant you grabbed one of yours for me."

"It wasn't easy to guess your size so that's why its so big. I didn't think you were that an extra large but I thought bigger was better than smaller."

"Its fine." She reached out for his hand. They turned to walk inside. She stopped, caressed his face with her other hand and said "Thank you."

"Its not a big deal."

"Every moment we share is a big deal to me."

He grinned. "All those guys in Port Charles who let you stay single....idiots."

"I kept me single. Because I need to be with someone that matters, not just someone so I'm not alone." She raised up on his tippy toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Okay. Feed me now."

He chuckled and took her inside the house for their second dinner. The second in what would become hundreds of dinners shared before the end of what they both considered an amazing love. A love that they wouldn't have passed up for anything.

Johnny needed Georgie because without her he was suicidal- playing at living or dying, rolling a roulette wheel and waiting for his luck to run out. And Georgie needed Johnny because she couldn't stand to be the left behind girl anymore.

Left behind by Dillon and Diego and even by Logan- when he said 'I love you, girl' and he meant 'You're such a sweet little thing and I'll always look out for you but I'm gonna keep screwing your sister cause she's the one who gets me going.'

It hurt to be passed over or given up and it hurt when Diego died. Johnny took away the hurt.

That night they cuddled together on the couch, in the safe house, after they ate dinner. He told her "I feel like I can share anything with you. I'm not like this with everyone. Just my sister and you. Just the people I trust most."

"I'm honored you trust me already."

"I got to trust you because I need you. You're rapidly becoming the breath in my body, Georgie Jones."

She sucked in a shaky breath. "And you're becoming my heart beat."

He kissed her, slowly and sensually. "Thank God you didn't listen to your friend's advice and stay away from me."

"Logan doesn't understand how much this means to me yet but one day he will. And then you two can be friends. He just wants the best for me."

"You're gonna get the best," Johnny promised, kissing her again. "Only the best. Always the best."

And he gave her that. Till he had no more breaths left in his body. And then her heart beat slow again- instead of racing over her brown eyed bad boy.

THE END


	107. Birthday Girl, Glo

**Note**- This story uses revised history. Diego was caught at The Black and White Ball, so Georgie was never killed by him. Lulu decided to pick Logan over Johnny, so Logan never snapped on her.

Also Cooper has reconciled with his parents so he is now able to access his trust fund, which makes him a very rich man.

**Birthday Girl**

**March 2009**

Disillusioned. That's how she feels lately. And jealous. But that is nothing new. It seems like every girl she knows- or every woman because she supposes that they really should stop considering themselves little girls and stop playing at house and love. Sure any day now. Right, she sees that happening really soon.

They will all turn mature overnight.

Anyway, every woman she knows has a life like a roller coaster. From her cousin Robin, to her friend Lulu, her sister Maxie, Maxie's best friend Sam, and Georgie's best friend Brooklyn. They race fast into disaster after disaster- kissing the player who they know is a player, marrying the hottie who they know will break their hearts, cheating, lying, kissing a girl even for Brooklyn. But what they don't do is sit around and wait for life to arrive.

That's Georgie style.

Her friends and her family and everyone she knows really have adventures and romances that leave them breathless. While Georgie writes about fairytales and plans trips abroad that never happen.

Its not that she doesn't try to have a love life. She tries. She chases after boys- correction, men, sorry- who never notice she is chasing them. Its so silly, really. Spinelli is still her buddy. He dates a gorgeous nurse at General Hospital. Matt is still the doctor she calls a friend. The guy she sees three times a week when volunteering. And Nikolas- who she blushes over whenever he gives her a certain nod of his head- is her sometimes employer, when he needs a sitter for Spencer. Not that she has time to babysit but, for a while there, he didn't trust anyone but her to be with his son while he was working. So she spent last summer on Spoon island. Wasting three more months on another fruitless crush.

She did date a few guys from school. Once or twice. Every few months someone would ask her out and she'd push aside thoughts of her latest crush and go on a date that went no where. Not that she didn't always go to such lengths to look good for him and not that she didn't smile and try to make him be more special to her than he was.

It never worked.

Now she is two weeks out from another disastrous first date with a poly-sci major. She works behind the counter at Kelly's and waits for something big to happen. Its her birthday after all. A good day, if it was ever gonna happen, for her life to suddenly become exciting again.

But she doubts it will. She's losing the stars in her eyes. She wonders if anyone will even notice.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

He knows something in this world has to be messed up big time when he has to beg Damian Spinelli for help. But beggars can't be choosers, like his Ma always said, so Logan pushes down his pride and pleads for the hacker to be his wing man.

If only anybody else but The Jackal would work. But it's The Jackal that Logan knows Georgie would never say no to. She can't resist that guy- for some unknown reason.

Why Georgie picks the type of guys she does to crush on- the crushes she thinks are a secret but they aren't- and date is beyond Logan. Its really none of his business but he thinks she can do better. None of those guys even see how special she is.

But Logan does. It took him a while but he finally sees the sweet big heart filled with grace that lays within that brown eyed beauty. They don't make woman like her back in Hollingsbrook and they don't make woman like her down in New York City- where he tried to live for a month with Lulu last year but ended up just about pulling his hair out and wanting to kill his loud ass neighbors. Lulu cheated on him and Logan high tailed it from that smog filled city like his feet were on fire.

Enjoy the Big Apple Lulu because it won't have Logan Hayes to kick around no more.

Back to Georgie. They don't make women like her anywhere on earth. She is one of a kind. He learned that when he was at a real low point in his life and she showed up for him.

**March 2008**

"Ugh," Logan groaned, as he woke up in the hospital bed. He hated being stuck in this place. The docs said he could get out in another day but he wanted out now. The bed was so uncomfortable. The food sucked. The nurses were pretty but the things they did to him alternated between horrifying, embarrassing and disgusting.

As his eyes opened fully he was shocked to see Georgie standing by his bedside. He startled, pushing himself up in bed, and said "Oh, hey. Uh....this your day to volunteer in this joint or something?"

"No. I just stopped by because I figured you could use the company." She motioned to the table that they used to put his dinner on each night. It had some books and a plate with foil on it. "I brought cookies. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Uh...no big deal."

"I know Lulu is working tonight at that fashion show and Cooper is on patrol so...."

Right. His only two friends in the world. Not like Scott cared and Maxie was still not over their sex bet.

Georgie went on "I actually thought I might read to you but now that sounds really stupid so I'll leave the books for you to read yourself and the cookies. Hope you enjoy them. And I'll just get out of your hair now. Sorry again for waking you up."

"Wait! Um...you wanna read to me, huh? You do that for the patients around here?"

"No, not really, but when you were in your coma I did....now you're better though...you look a lot better, Logan. I'm glad. Cooper needs you to stick around. Drive a little slower next time."

He gave her a small grin. "I'll remember that."

"You made a great recovery. I bet you want out of that bed."

"Like yesterday. You just don't know."

"I'm sure Lulu will be happy to have you home."

"Sure." After a moment he added "I'm surprised you're bothering with my ass....I mean...me. I thought I was on your hit list or something."

She giggled. "Hit list? I'm not Jason, you know."

"I know that, Georgie. I just meant..." he chuckled.

"You're important to Cooper. He's important to Maxie. Maxie is important to me. And so...I guess...its just a chain that we are on together. And, anyway," she shrugged "its just cookies."

Maybe for her but it was the first day that Logan wished he had dated Georgie, fell in love with Georgie, asked Georgie to move in with him, went a little crazy over Georgie, made her his angel on earth, instead of Lulu.

Just for an hour that day, when he talked her into reading a chapter of one of the books she brought, and he lay back, closing his eyes and let her soft, soothing voice wash over him, did he think that he had done everything in his life, up to that point, all wrong.

Because his life didn't include her in his bed. That couldn't be right. Not at all.

The months flew by. He kept trying to make Lulu into the love of his life. Despite their best efforts they were like a bullet and a gun. Best put together only when looking to kill someone.

Now he was long done with Lulu. Logan spent a few months just getting his head together. Not really obsessing about Georgie. Or trying not to, at least. Just drinking the coffee she poured, telling her stories about Texas, and wondering if she knew how beautiful she was.

And then Cooper told Logan it was gonna be Georgie's birthday soon. And a plan...with the help of The Jackal...was formed.

It was a plan that Logan hoped changed his whole life. But if it made Georgie smile, that would be enough.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**March 2009**

"This is so sweet of you, Spinelli, but I wish you gave me a chance to go home and change first."

"Fair Georgie, you look lovely. Not that The Jackal is looking, per se, as I do have a paramour but you are enchanting all the same, in a strictly platonic sense."

She giggled. This birthday was turning out to be okay after all. Spinelli came into the diner and asked her to accompany him to The Metro Court for dinner- as friends only, of course. Being his friend was nice in itself. She was past her crush on him now.

Really her heart was empty of anyone anymore. She tried to let men inside but none seemed interested since Diego and that was a subject that still made her cry, so it was better to leave him shoved down deep in her mind.

The elevator stopped and Georgie raised an eyebrow, as Spinelli walked out. "This isn't the restaurant. We're on the wrong floor."

"This is the right floor, be assured. The Jackal needs to pick up something from The Valkryie before we dine. Would you be so kind to accompany me?"

She smiled. "Sure."

Following him down the hallway she notices that this floor consists of dining rooms, the types used to cater weddings, and she wonders why Carly's office would be in such a noisy part of the hotel. Spinelli pulls open a door and then, with a flourish of his hand, says "After you, my lady."

With a tender smile on her lips Georgie walks into the room. Immediately she is sure that this ballroom must be set up for a party later tonight. It has soft lights twinkling, music playing, candles lit, but only one table is set.

She turns to ask Spinelli about it but he is gone.

"Hello, darlin."

Georgie spins back around to see Logan standing there, in the shadows, on the far side of the room. He is dressed in black slacks and a blue shirt, his hands are shoved in his pockets and he wears a crooked, nearly shy, grin.

Her heart melts. Right there on the spot.

She's so confused. What is he up to now? Whatever it is....its really magical...and she wonders why he picked her to share this kind of moment with. After all she is just a waitress, college student, sister of his ex-fling, and buddy to his best friend. They are connected by a chain of people that matter to them both but they are not really anything to each other- in a personal sense.

Standing there, in her jeans and Kelly's t-shirt, she feels completely underdressed. He slowly makes his way to her. As he gets closer, his eyes hesitant and searching hers, she finds him cuter and cuter. Logan has always been hot but now he is really cute too. Adorable. He's nervous.

Her heart flutters back to life in her chest. She nibbles on her bottom lip. "What's this all about?"

Logan stops and looks down, studying the ground as if the answer is there.

Georgie steps closer to him. "You did this all for me? How could you afford this?"

"That's all Coop.....I had this little speech planned but....I swear my head is blank right now. You look really pretty tonight, girl."

She laughs. It escapes her mouth before she can stop it. She covers her mouth. Their eyes meet. His mouth crooks into a deeper grin. She says "Sorry. That just came out. Its just that I don't think this outfit can be called pretty....and I guess I'm still a little in shock or something."

"Uh...well....I know you figured on having dinner with Spinelli but he's long gone now and I'm here so...you wanna do me the honor?"

"I'd honestly love to, Logan."

His eyes light up. Holding out a hand he asks "Dance with me, Georgie?"

She slowly reaches out her own hand...which is shaking...and it slips into his strong and steady grasp. She moves close to him. He holds her hand and cradles it near his heart, as she lays her other hand on his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around her waist.

Looking into his eyes she remembers all their conversations at the diner and suddenly...just like that...she realizes she knows him better than any other man on earth. He's shown her so much of himself these last few months but she wasn't seeing what he was really showing her: his heart.

For all the pain he has suffered through, and the tears he has caused, he does have a beautiful heart. And he is trying to give it to her, it seems like.

That leaves her speechless. They sway to the music in silence till Logan whispers "Happy birthday, Georgie," and then, quickly, his mouth captures hers in a very short and gentle first kiss.

She is disillusioned no more.

THE END


	108. Never Desert You, part one, glo

**Note- The medical stuff in this story is very far from realistic. **

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part One**

**December 22, 2007, canon- 11 pm.**

"I'm sorry, Georgie," Robin said as she stepped out of Logan's room in the ICU. "You can't go in there right now."

"But-"

"Not right now. Its late. Why don't you go home for the night?"

"He just woke up. I'm not going anywhere."

It had been about an hour since Logan woke up. Patrick had been with him the whole time.

"He has to have more tests done. We have to call his family and let them know he came out of the coma." Visiting hours were long over and Epiphany has shooed everyone away but she loved Georgie- her best volunteer ever- and so Georgie got to stay. "Tomorrow is soon enough for you to talk to him."

"What aren't you telling me?" Georgie looked through the glass and watched Patrick speaking to Logan.

Robin let out a sigh. "You know I can only speak to his parents about his condition but, off the record, he..."

Georgie jerked her eyes back to her cousin. "What? Just say it. I can deal with it."

"He seems to have some memory loss."

"Some?"

"The last thing he remembers is being in Iraq."

She sucked in a shaky breath. "He forgot everything about his time in Port Charles."

"It could be temporary. There is swelling around his brain from where the bullet grazed him. It was severe enough to cause the coma. When that fully goes down maybe his memories will come back....its impossible to say. Now really, you should go home. The only people he is asking about are Cooper and his mother."

"That makes sense."

"Okay, so see you tomorrow. Page me and I'll update you about his condition,-off the record so keep it hush hush, I'm serious about that. But you shouldn't go see him till I give you the okay."

"I'm sorry, Robin," Georgie said, as she walked around her cousin and into the ICU. "Hi."

This man had saved her life from The Text Message Killer and that meant that Georgie was sticking by his side. Not going home because that would be easier. Logan didn't walk away from her in the park when it would have been easier- and safer for him- to not get involved.

He jerked her away from Diego and he pulled out his gun and he took a wound to his head over her. As Diego whipped out his own gun and fired on them, while Logan drug Georgie to the ground. If not for Cooper showing up in just that second, because he was supposed to meet Georgie in the park that night, and shooting Diego, Georgie and Logan would both be dead.

Because Logan passed out from the bullet grazing his head and Georgie lay under him. She could have grabbed the gun and shot Diego herself but there was no time. He was just a few feet away from them. He was about to pull the trigger and shoot her and Logan both, at very close range, when Cooper emptied his gun into Diego's chest.

Georgie had screamed in terror over the whole scene and then screamed for Logan to wake up. To please not die. _Don't die_, she had begged. _Don't die._

Now Georgie stood at the end of his bed, looking into his confused light eyes, and she knew all her prayers had been answered. She didn't die that night and either did he.

Patrick said "This isn't a good time. I'm trying to evaluate my patient. Please step out."

"Um...okay... but first I just wanted to tell you, Logan, that its great you woke up and that I'm right outside if you feel like talking. I understand you don't remember me...but I volunteer here. I've been around everyday since you've been admitted so..."

"That's nice of you to take such a personal interest in me, darlin, but don't bother. I'm getting out of this joint tonight."

Logan threw back the covers and started to tug out IVs. Panic flew into Georgie's eyes.

Patrick grabbed him, to make him stop. "That would be a very reckless thing to do. You're my patient and you don't leave till I release you."

Logan pushed Patrick away. He started breathing heavily. Exhausted from that little bit of effort because of all the strain his body had been through that week. "Back up off me! I don't like it here. I don't like this Yankee town and I don't like you with your fancy ass degree you think means you can tell me what to do. It don't!"

Robin came back in the room. "What's going on? You need to stay in bed, Mr. Hayes."

Patrick said "She's right. Stay there on your own or I'll restrain you."

Logan glared at him. "I'm pretty sure you're a quack. You don't know why I lost my memory or when I'm gonna get it back? Not good enough! The docs in the army were way better than you. Hell, the clinic back in my home town that had a dirt floor till I was five...was better than you. You're useless and I don't wanna stay here and let you fuck me up more than you already have. I'm gonna go find Coop and figure this shit out."

Patrick shook his head, wearily. "You give me no choice. Robin, go get some restraints."

Robin raced out of the room, throwing Georgie a look that said she should have stayed in the hall like she was told.

Georgie walked toward Logan. Patrick blocked her path. He hissed "Go. He's combative and it is not safe for you to be here right now."

Logan was panting in frustration and still pulling out IVs. "I ain't looking to hurt that pretty volunteer none. That shows what you know, doc. Dumbass!"

_Pretty, _Georgie thought, _Well, that's new_!

She felt horrible that he lost his memory but she felt like somehow, with the help of his family and friends, Logan could get back all he lost and make his life even better than before this nightmare started. Because, while he was in his coma, his mother had flown in and was staying at The Metro Court. Scott had sat by his bedside for hours. Scott and Jackie were actually getting along. That had to be good for Logan.

And Georgie had come to be invested in Logan's happiness. That wasn't a bad thing. He would need her now, when he never needed her or cared about her before. They could be friends.

She'd help him to heal and get his life back on track. It might be hard but she was not running away- back to her boring little life where she hated him for all his mistakes and where he just kept making mistakes to pile onto of his mistakes until he was miserable, lonely, and wandering through a park alone, muttering to himself about why Lulu was kissing Johnny on the docks.

That sound- of Logan coming down the path- grumbling like a mad man about to kill someone or himself was the sweetest sound Georgie ever heard in her life. Because she knew he would try and save her life.

She had been arguing with Diego, ripping off his mask, screaming at him in outrage about him trying to kill Maxie when suddenly his eyes went from being kind and looking like he was still in love with her to hard, cold pebbles filled with rage. Then he wrapped his hands around her throat.

Not even a few seconds later she heard Logan and, when he saw what was going on, he ran over and pulled her away from Diego. No matter what Logan had ever done to hurt her and the people she knew, in that moment, he redeemed himself in her eyes.

She moved toward him in the hospital room, evading Patrick who tried to grab her arm and make her keep her distance, and said "Logan....I know you don't want to be here right now but you need to be."

"Nah, I'm fine."

Patrick said "You are suffering from swelling of your brain and if you leave tonight, against medical advise, you will end up flat on your ass on some sidewalk in a few hours."

Logan snarled at him. "I feel great! Shows what you know! You can't keep me here against my will so just get out of my room. You botched my surgery and you made me lose my memory!"

Patrick said "If not for me you'd be in the morgue. There is no medical reason for this anger you're showing. Your frontal lobe was unaffected by this injury. So there is no excuse for you behaving this way. This is the last time I'm going to be nice about this...lay back down and relax."

"Fuck off," Logan hissed at him.

Georgie touched Logan's arm. "Please, listen to him."

Their eyes met and held. After a moment he asked "Do I know you...as more than a volunteer?"


	109. part 2

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Two**

**December 22, 2007, canon**

At first Logan was scared. Bone rattling terrified. He thought he was in a hospital in Germany. That's where they send the soldiers who are seriously messed up.

He couldn't remember getting shot in combat. Maybe it was a roadside bomb. Where was Cooper? Did he make it?

Logan struggled to get out of bed and ending up grabbing the call button. A brown haired woman came into the room, gasped in shock, and then started calling for a nurse and doctors. Soon he was told a wild story. It was over a year after he remembered. Last he knew it was Thanksgiving in Iraq.

Now it was nearly Christmas in Port Charles.

Port Charles. Home of his missing father. Logan figured he must have talked Cooper into coming here. Coop is the first one he asked about. He was told that'd Coop did, in fact, live in this town and he'd be called soon.

Logan wanted to know how he ended up in a hospital bed. The doctors explained that he had been grazed by a bullet and had to have surgery due to brain swelling. It shouldn't have caused memory loss but it did. They were trying to figure out why.

In other words, he took it, they were quacks who had no clue what they hell they were doing. He'd never treat a patient like this. Saying "Sorry but I'm fucking lost over what to do for you," like this doctor basically had.

Logan would have went and found a specialist who could do better than he could. And that is what he intended to do now. Get out of this hospital and get some help from a doctor who actually knew what the hell he was doing.

But now the pretty brown eyed volunteer was asking him to relax and sit tight. After a moment he asked "Do I know you...as more than a volunteer?"

"I'm Georgie Jones. I'm Maxie's sister."

"That doesn't clear anything up. Sorry, darlin. Fill me in. Who's Max?"

Just then the little short, bossy doctor came back with the restraints. Georgie held out her hand. "Robin, please, don't. He'll be calm. I promise."

Patrick said "You can't know that. Step aside."

Logan hissed at him "I wouldn't try it if I was you. Even all messed up and in this bed, I'm still not somebody you should be looking to tangle with."

Robin asked Georgie "See?"

Georgie said "All I see is that neither one of you will give Logan five minutes to adjust to this news! Please, five minutes! That's all I want. Leave us alone for that long. Nothing will happen, I swear."

Patrick gritted his teeth. Robin let out a sigh. "We'll be watching through the glass. You," she tugged on Georgie's sleeve and pulled her close to the door "stay over here or else I'm coming back in. And you, Mr. Hayes, stay in that bed or else you are getting strapped down, no matter how many orderlies it takes to make that happen. I don't lose patients just because they decide they are stubborn and know better than the professionals around here."

"Listen, I was a medic in the army and I know enough to know that you two are in way over your heads. The blank looks in your eyes when you realized I couldn't remember anything says it all. So go get me someone who knows more than you two. Then , maybe, I wouldn't be so pissed off."

Patrick was just about growling in frustration. He pointed at Logan "You are not helping yourself to recover this way. If you want another doctor, I can make that happen, but for tonight you are stuck with me. So lets stop making this so hard. I'm trying to save your life here. If you care at all about that, then get up in that bed. Or else, when I call your friend Cooper, I'll be calling to tell him to come pick up your dead body because what you are doing...is just going to raise your blood pressure and kill you. If you were a medic then you know that."

Logan got back in bed. He glared at Patrick. "I do believe that the lady asked you for five minutes so get to stepping, doc."

Shaking his head, Patrick left. Robin gave Georgie a warning look. "Stay over here. I mean it. I don't want to call Uncle Mac and tell him that security is holding you in their office but I will, if you force me to."

"I understand," Georgie said.

Once they were gone, Logan's eyes settled on the volunteer who seemed to be his biggest fan. It felt like just yesterday when he was eating sand on the desert, when it blew into his mouth during firefights, and praying to survive another minute. But, supposedly, it was a year later.

Back on Thanksgiving in Iraq, he had been just weeks from getting sent back home. Home for Christmas. That was what him and Cooper kept hanging onto. It looked like they both made it home and both made it here to Port Charles. But then what happened?

Did Scott hug Logan and say: Oh my God, my son! My baby boy!

Baby boy. That is what his Ma called him. Did his Ma even know he was hurt? There were so many questions that Logan needed answered and the only way to get those answers were waiting for Coop to show up or asking this volunteer who had begged for five minutes with him.

"Georgene? Is that your name?"

"Georgianna...Georgie."

"Georgie....sister of Max, that's what you said, right?"

"Maxie...Mariah Maximilliana."

"A girl? Hmmm. So I know two girls around here. Who else do I know?"

"Lesley Lou Spencer. She was your girlfriend."

"My girl? Wow. The last girl I remember giving a damn about me was back in Hollingsbrook. And she slapped me hard the day I left for boot camp."

"Sounds like she was just emotional over the thought of losing you. Maybe she was mad you joined the military."

'She was worked up about me messing with her cousin."

"Oh."

"So Lesley...huh? She was my girl? No more?"

"We call her Lulu and you have to ask her. Its hard to keep up with the gossip and me and you...well....we never were friends so you didn't tell me much about how you were feeling. Last I heard you two were fighting."

"You and me ain't friends? Why's that? And why are you here screaming your pretty head off on my behalf then? You just happen to be volunteering tonight?"

"No. I've been visiting you every day. I'm on break from Port Charles University right now....so I had the time."

"Yeah....but what was the reason? If we ain't friends. Wait...I got it..." a small smile curved his lips "you're Coop's girl, right?"

"No."

"I'm stumped then. What has you at my bedside tonight?"

"I was there when you were hurt. I'm sure you're wondering what happened that night."

"I sorta figured it had something to do with the mob. This town has a big mob element, right?"

"Do you remember that?"

"Nah. I just did some research on this place before....I got some family in the area and I was thinking of looking them up one day."

"You mean Scott, right?"

"You know about all that. See this is where we hit a problem, darlin. You know all about me but I ain't got a clue about my own life this last year. Why don't you fill me in on what I've been up to and how you fit in."

"I don't know as much about your life as Cooper does but I can tell you what I know."

"Hit me with it."

"Okay, you moved here last March. You rented a studio apartment. Don't worry about it though because we've been keeping an eye on it since you've been in here. Maxie kinda took that on as her job- watering your plants and picking up your mail. She felt bad about you being hurt...and she wanted to make up with you because you and her were not getting along lately. But I don't want you to worry about that because Maxie is ready to put the bad blood behind her. Maxie is in your life because she's been dating Cooper since the day he moved to town."

"How do I pay for this apartment? I got a job?"

"You used to. Working for the mob. But you were fired."

"The mob? I don't think they fire you, darlin, they just shoot you and throw you in the river. That's what I always heard anyway."

"You were lucky, Logan, because that didn't happen. You don't have a job right now but being unemployed is a step up from being a mobster."

"If you say so."

"What else would you like to know?"

"You left out the part about how you fit into my life. You're here...and you said you were there the night I got hurt...but Lulu was my girlfriend...so who are you to me? My chick on the side? We ain't friends exactly but we know how to have fun together?"

Her jaw clenched. "What?"

"Don't get all heated over it. It was a simple question. I'm gonna take that as a no."

"You and I are sorta enemies. Or we were. I hope we aren't anymore."

"Enemies? Cause of what?"

"You weren't very nice to my sister or my friend but we all make mistakes and I'm willing to move past that now. I'm willing to forgive all that bad behavior from you."

"Oh, ain't I lucky! So you are just here because you feel sorry for me cause I got shot. Well I don't need your pity. Get out."

"Logan-"

"Just cause we both survived some guy shooting at us don't mean nothing. You just said it yourself. We ain't friends. And I don't need someone standing here and telling me what a jackass I used to be but how you got high hopes I'm gonna improve. Take your pity and go! Just go!"

"Why are you being this way?"

"Because I'm nobody's charity case."

"I just want to help-"

"If you want to help me then call Coop. That will help. You can't do anything else for me. I don't want you around here anymore. I'm not an exhibit at the zoo for you to stare at and feel bad over and I'm not your science project to try and fix. Just call Coop or even this Lesley, Lulu chick....or if you ain't in the mood then don't call....but whatever you do, you need to leave. Now."

"FINE!"

Robin and Patrick rushed back in.

Georgie tearfully told Logan. "I just thought it could be different between us now. I spent so much time reading to you and singing to you and praying for you. I wanted you to wake up so bad...and I'm so happy you did...but if you don't want me around then I'll go....I'm sorry I upset you!" She ran out of the room.

Her words repeated in Logan's head, as Patrick chastised him for getting worked up again, and Logan felt horrible for losing his cool with Georgie. The last thing he remembered before waking up was being in Iraq- with his head a total mess- feeling completely terrified and not being sure if he would live to see another day. Now a year had passed and he was in Port Charles, his head was still a mess, he was still terrified and now he had sent away someone who only wanted to be his friend.

It looked like his life still sucked in every way possible. A year went by. He came home. He moved to this place to meet his father. But it didn't turn out like his dreams painted it to be.

He was so angry every second and for no reason. Just like Iraq. He had to calm down and he knew it. He took in and out short breaths and vowed to relax.


	110. part 3

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Three**

**December 22, 2007, canon**

Georgie waited at the nurse's station for Cooper to come off the elevator. She fidgeted nervously, still teary over Logan yelling at her to go away, and when she saw Cooper she rushed into his arms. She told him on the phone that Logan was awake and he should get there as soon as possible.

"I messed up everything, Coop!"

"No, of course you didn't. Just tell me what happened."

"I've been doing everything wrong lately. Everything. First I thought you were a killer-"

"I told you not to feel bad about that. Forget about it. Its over."

"And I went to the park, like an idiot, and nearly got myself and Logan killed."

"You were trying to save Maxie's life. No one blames you for what happened."

"But I blame me! Logan could have died over my mistakes. And then tonight, he wakes up, and I make more mistakes. Instead of leaving him alone like Robin asked I went into his room and tried to force myself on him."

"Force yourself....in what way? Lets sit down and you can tell me everything that happened." He took her to the nearby couch and they both sat down.

"I just wanted Logan to have someone around who knew him...not just doctors and nurses....so I went into his room. I started to tell him about his life but I didn't do a very good job. He got mad at me and said that I needed to leave."

"You know how he is. He gets mad but then he's sorry later. He didn't mean it. He'll feel bad for snapping on you and want to make up later. Isn't that how it always happens?"

"This is different....Coop, there is something you need to know. When Logan woke up he had memory loss. The last thing he remembers was being in Iraq."

Coop's mouth opened slightly and he breathed out "Oh my God."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was strapped down to his hospital bed. Patrick said the next step would be sedation if his blood pressure rose again. Logan was working on staying calm so that did not happen.

He just really wanted Cooper there so he could get some straight answers out of somebody. Georgie had filled in some blanks but it seemed like there was plenty she was holding back on saying. He was her enemy? Mean to her sister and friends? Over what? He knew he had a short fuse. What in the hell had he done to Georgie, Maxie and their friends?

He swore he was gonna chill out when he got home from Iraq. Get his head on straight. Be grateful he survived. Find a good girl and settle down.

Lesley Lou. _We call her Lulu_, Georgie had said. Was that his good girl? He certainly couldn't remember a damn thing about her. It was incredibly frustrating.

Relief washed through Logan when Cooper came into his room. A smile worked on the corner of his lips. "Buddy."

Cooper went to grab Logan's hand, to give it a guy style grip handshake, he noticed the restraints. "What's that all about?"

"Ran into an asshole, cocky, know it all doctor who thinks I got anger issues."

"Geez, Logan. You got to calm down, okay?"

"Don't get salty with me. Aren't you glad I'm alive? Come on, Coop. I'm having a lousy night. Don't pile on."

"I'm glad you're alive. Very glad. Now you got to stay that way. That means staying calm."

"That's damn tough when I can't remember the last year of my life. I don't even know how we got to Port Charles or what happened when we did."

"I'll stay here overnight and I'll tell you about every single day we spent here but first you got to do me a favor."

"I ain't in the position to do much from this bed. What do you need?"

"You got to make things right with Georgie. You hurt her feelings. She's a sweetheart, Logan. She's been worrying herself sick over you."

"I don't know her. I don't know how you expect me to feel bad over her."

"So you don't remember her and that makes it okay to make her cry?"

"She's crying over me? Aw, damn it. I didn't mean to make that happen."

"She is desperate for you to forgive her for the night when you were shot. You were trying to save her life. And you did."

"And I got shot doing it. Sounds like I did a bad job, huh, Coop?"

"You did a great job, Logan."

"How'd she survive if I was shot? Did I get lucky and get one last shot off before I passed out? Did I kill the bastard that did this to me and was going after her?"

"No. I killed him. I showed up right before he was about to execute you and Georgie. It was a bad night. But we aren't strangers to that kind of stuff. Georgie is. She is very emotional over this whole thing and even though you weren't friends with her before... she cares about you now. Just be nice to her. Be nice or else its gonna piss me off."

"I just get out of a coma and you can't go easy on me?"

"Logan, please, say you will apologize to her."

"I was planning to anyway. I don't need no little girl crying over me."

"She's not all that little. She's nineteen."

"Well I know she's got a body on her. That much is for sure."

"Yeah."

"Okay, get her in here and I'll apologize. Then you're gonna get me up to date on my messed up life.....tell me one thing real quick though.....what happened with Scott?"

"You met him. You took a DNA test. He knows you're his son."

"And.....how did he take it?"

"Rough at first."

"Rough? What's that mean?"

"Just that he was shocked and confused. Messed up about it all. The lost years. It was painful for a while. He tried to connect with you but it took him a minute to want that. I think he's a lot like you. Sorta bull headed."

"Thanks a lot, man. I swear, if a hospital bed don't get you to give me a break then nothing will," Logan joked.

Cooper smiled. "Scott has been here a lot though since you were hurt. I think he really feels bad that you two aren't close yet. And your Mom came to town after you were shot and has been sitting with you while you were in the coma. But the person that was here the most....that was Georgie."

"Who's girl is she? She says she ain't mine or yours so....tell me...does she got a man?"

"Be her friend. Her friend. Just her friend."

"I was just asking," Logan said, with a smirk.

"Her friend," Cooper repeated and left the room.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't think I should go back in there," Georgie told Cooper, as she sat on the couch by the nurses station. "He was adamant that he doesn't want me around. He can't even remember knowing me but he knows he doesn't like me."

"That's not true. He was just scared and confused. Seriously."

"You didn't hear him. He was suspicious of me from the moment I walked in and then he just turned on me. He can't remember Lulu either but he asked me to call her. I think I should. Lets face it. From the moment he first saw Lulu he liked her. That will probably happen again. She could be good for him...and I just want him happy. He doesn't have to be my friend. He never wanted to be before. I should just call Lulu and go home, Coop."

"No way. The longer we can keep Lulu away from him the better."

"Its not for us to say."

"I'm Logan's in case of emergency number. I get to make this decision and I say that no one is calling her. They are ugly together. He's worked up enough about being stuck in a hospital bed, without his memory. He's scared and when that happens he lashes out. She will do him more harm than good. No Lulu and that's firm, Georgie."

"You won't be able to keep them apart for long."

"She's barely visited. With any luck she won't come back for a few more days. Logan can date whoever he wants...when he feels like himself again...but tonight he is in a bad place and he needs the people around him who care most and love him most and are good for him. He needs you. Will you please go back in there and make up with him?"

"Okay. But while I'm doing that, you should call his folks."

"Not yet. In the morning. He can't be stressed and they are both stressful people."

"His mom seems nice to me."

"Sure, she's nice but she's emotional over Logan. And he needs to just stay calm tonight. He also needs to hear about the last year before he sees Scott. Tonight he just needs us."

"I feel bad about not telling them right away."

"This is my call, not yours. I know how to do what is best for my best friend and, this time, I'm gonna see that it happens."

"You saved his life that night. Mine too. He almost gave his life for me....just because that's who he is. Not because it was me. Which is okay. Its better, really. It shows he is really a good person deep down. And that he would act like a hero whether it benefited him or not....whether it was someone he cared about in danger....that he would risk himself even if I'm not Lulu."

"You have it all over Lulu. All over her, in every way. I'm so grateful for how you stayed with Logan for so many hours over the last five days. I know you want to become his friend now and that would be really good for him. Just remember that he's not easy to be close with....and that he might give you a headache sometimes...but he's worth being friends with. Just friends. Don't try to be who Lulu was to him."

Georgie looked down.

Cooper added "Because he's not in the place to date right now. But if he was he couldn't get luckier than having you interested."

She said, softly, "Of course I'm not interested. We don't even like each other."

Cooper smiled at her. "Let's go fix that right now."


	111. part 4

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Four**

**December 22, 2007, canon**

Georgie slipped back into Logan's room. Her eyes darted through the glass window and connected with Cooper. He gave her a reassuring smile.

Logan said "Sorry we got off on the wrong foot there, doll."

She gave him a small smile. "That doll stuff...darlin...sweetie...it used to drive me crazy but its kinda of reassuring now. It means you are feeling a lot better."

"Its nice of you to care. I was a jackass for throwing you out of here. Just cause we weren't friends before don't mean you're just here out of pity."

"I'm here because you saved my life."

"Cooper did that."

"I would have been dead long before he showed up, Logan, if not for you. That means so much to me...what you did...how fiercely you fought for me. You would have died for me. Thank you."

"Don't give it another thought."

"You lost your memory over me. Is that why you're mad at me?"

"I ain't mad. I'm frustrated about this situation, that's all. I lost it on you for no reason. I'm sorry, truly, and I do wanna be friends."

"Because Cooper told you that you have to. That's okay. I don't mind if that is the reason. I'm just glad I can visit you tomorrow. I can, right?"

"Sure. Like I'd tell the hottest girl I know not to come back tomorrow."

"Ha! You don't remember Maxie or Lulu or any other woman for the last year so that explains that comment."

"They can't be hotter than you. No way possible."

"Don't bother turning on the charm with me," she smiled brightly "I am officially immune."

He smirked. "So that's why you never got with me? You're immune? Or you got a boyfriend?"

"No boyfriend or husband, anymore. I'm divorced. And I never dated you, Logan, because you had deep feelings for Lulu and a real dislike of me."

"I doubt that."

"It was mutual."

"What a pity. I always do manage to screw up my life. I can't imagine disliking a pretty girl that would read to me, sing to me, and pray for me."

She blushed. "Its true. You did. You found me annoying and self-righteous. And I found you mean and aggravating."

"And still you are here...when I need you."

"You were there when I needed you."

"So this is just payback?"

"I want to start over. Not pay you back once and call it even. I want to be in your life from now on...because you gave me the chance to still be alive."

"Well I ain't gonna say no to such a good offer. Especially cause its gonna be rough to adjust to hanging around this joint till they get me my memory back. I could use a bright spot in my day....and you look like one of those to me."

She smiled. "Did they give you morphine or something since I was here last?"

"Nah. Coop just gave me a talking to. And...it was good to see him. First face I remember knowing and all that. It improved my messed up mood."

"I can understand how upsetting this must all be for you. I only want to make it better for you, not worse. I wish that when you woke up someone you liked more than me was around but I was the only one the nurses let stay here. That's why I always stay here at night while your family is here during the day."

"And why do the nurses let you stay? You got pull around here?"

"Just because I'm a volunteer, that's all."

"You sure you're not dating some doctor here? I'm finding it hard to believe you're single."

"Believe it. And lets move onto a different subject. Like....your doctor."

"That jackass cocky asshole. Why you bringing him up?"

"Not to tick you off. Just to explain that its not his fault you lost your memory. He didn't mess up your surgery."

"How do you know that?"

"He's dating my cousin and I know him well but beyond that Patrick is the best of the best. That's why I called him and begged him to come in and do your surgery when he was off work. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't know you were in good hands. So please don't blame him. If you want to blame anyone...blame me. I shouldn't have been at the park that night and if I wasn't then you'd be home right now and you'd be unhurt."

"Who shot me?"

"His name was Diego Alcazar. He was a serial killer."

"So if Coop didn't kill him then what? He'd go after you again, right? Or someone else?"

"Probably."

"Then I don't mind getting a little hurt if it means he's taken out of this world. I'll bounce back."

"I believe that with all my heart."

Logan smiled slightly. "Its nearly midnight. You better get on home. Have Coop walk you to your car. I would but..." he motioned at how he was restrained.

"I'm so sorry about that. You do need to stay in bed though and listen to the doctors."

"Yeah, I'll try. No promises. This joint is better than Iraq but yesterday...at least the yesterday I remember...I could walk whenever I pleased. Or when Sarge said I could." He paused for a moment. " I guess..on second thought...this ain't half bad after all. Its better than the war. I can't believe I made it home and a year went by since then. But I'll take it. At least I'm stateside again."

"I never thought that if you weren't in this city it would matter to me. But now I'm so happy you moved here and you were there that night to save me. You would have done it for anyone but you did it for me and that makes us...connected. I hope, when you get your memory back, you're still okay with that, Logan."

"I'd be a fool to push away such a sweet girl-"

"Woman."

"Sweet and tough-"

"I don't mean to be pushy."

"But you are."

"Sometimes."

"I'd be crazy to push you away, Georgie, and even if get called crazy sometimes by the guys in my unit.... I ain't that nuts. So come back tomorrow. And I won't scream at you, promise."

"Good." She smiled. "I can't wait."

He smiled back. "I think you're dead wrong about what I thought of you. Lets get Coop in here and have him settle this. I'm sure he knows what I really thought about you."

She chuckled. "I don't need to hear those kind of insults and its not nice to make Coop lie and pretend you didn't despise me. Its okay. That's the past."

"You don't seem like the type I could despise but whatever...I've been known to make bad mistakes a time or ....thousand times...before. So maybe that was one."

"You should get some rest."

"Nah. I've been resting for a while now. That doctor said I been here five days already."

"I would think you'd be tired, Logan. Maybe it's the adrenaline rush of hearing that you lost your memory. Sort of a fight or flight reflex. I'm not a doctor...just a waitress at a diner you go to a lot...but I still think you need some sleep."

"I'll get sleep. Don't worry about it. Just get yourself home safe, Georgie."

"Okay....well, good night. I'm glad you woke up."

"I'm glad you were here when I woke up."

She gave him a small smile. "Like I said, I wish it was someone else-"

"I don't."

Her smiled widened. "Okay. See you tomorrow. If the doctors say you can have real food then I'll bring you dessert. I'll bake brownies for you."

"Don't go to the trouble."

"I want to. I'm trying to convince you to like me before you get your memory back and realize you don't. Because I seriously want us to be cool now...not like before."

"Before....for me that was being overseas and fighting to survive. I don't know the before that has you thinking I hate you. But when I remember it....I'm gonna remember too how you've been tonight. You've been a trooper."

Her face fell. It was something an older brother said to his kid sister. And, oddly, she wanted Logan to see her as a grown, attractive, capable, amazing woman. She hadn't cared how he saw her last week but now she really wanted to be special in his eyes.

Like he was special in her eyes.

She faked a smile. "I've only done what anyone who cares about you would. No more, no less. Well...I should go."

"Okay. Tomorrow then. Don't forget about me, Georgie."

"That's not even possible." She walked out of his room and went to find Cooper.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cooper walked Georgie to her car, had a chat with Robin about Logan, and then walked into his room.

Logan smiled. "She is phenomenal!"

"Who? You meet that cute blonde nurse with the country accent? Or the other one? The British one? This place is crawling with fine-"

"Don't try and distract me. I know that trick."

"Shouldn't you be resting?"

"And I know that trick too."

Cooper sighed and studied Logan for a long moment. "You gave us a scare like you would not believe."

"I'm always so good in a firefight. Was I wasted the night I got grazed?"

"No. Georgie said you drug her to the ground and that slowed you down from returning fire. But you got a shot off before you got hit. It was a through and through in the arm."

"At least I wasn't totally fucking useless then. So....this freaked out my Ma, huh? I know she always waited for that knock on the door when we were in Iraq....who called her this time?"

"Scott did."

"Scott, huh? Is he a good Dad?"

"He's very complicated."

"He sucks, don't he? You can tell me. I won't lose it. You already said we ain't very close."

"You're getting there. Its taking time. Its been hard. You two butt heads a lot."

"Over what?"

"Being too alike."

Logan smirked, happily. "He's like me?"

"Yeah and its not a good thing."

Logan chuckled. "Well," he let out a long breath "this is crazy. Crazy and messed up. A year gone....now what, Coop?"

"We get you better."

"Sounds like a plan. Cause when I'm out of here I can ask out that hot volunteer who reads to me, sings to me and prays for me. I don't know what that sounds like to you but to me that sounds like she digs me."

"You have bigger issues to deal with than crushing on Georgie."

"I get that but she's just so...wow."

"Yeah she's always been that way. You never cared before. So maybe you should just leave it at friends. You two have been known to have screaming fights. I would rather you stay calm and get better. She's a good friend to have but when too much emotion gets involved...it can get loud between you two...and I don't like seeing Georgie hurting."

"I hurt her?"

"Just by not getting along with her sister and friends."

"Tell me how I was a jerk. Start at the beginning."

"You deserve to know everything that's happened but you have to not get worked up. Or else I won't tell you another word. And I'll make sure no one else does either."

"Just talk, Barrett. I ain't no baby you got to go easy on. I'm a man. I can take it."

"Okay, you asked for it, just remember that. This is what went down...."


	112. part 5

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Five**

**Note- I've decided to cast Jacqueline Hayes with Laura Koffman . She formerly played Cassie Callison on OLTL. She was last seen on AMC as Rebecca Fowler.**

**December 23, 2007, canon**-12:30 am

Maxie was woke up in the middle of the night by her sister Georgie. Maxie sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes. "What's the matter? What happened?"

"I just came back from seeing Logan. He woke up tonight."

A smile curved Maxie's lips and she hugged Georgie. "That's awesome! Now Coop can stop worrying and I can stop having bag under my eyes. So how is he doing now? Did you talk to him? Or can't he talk yet?"

"Oh, he's talking and screaming and ranting already."

Maxie chuckled. "So, normal Logan with his normal bitching?"

"Not exactly normal. He has some memory loss."

"What? Amnesia?"

"Robin didn't call it that but yes, I guess, it's a form of amnesia."

"What kind of form? Does he know his name?"

"He remembers his life fine all except this last year. He last remembers being in Iraq."

"Oh."

"Maxie, I'm sorry. I know this is hard."

Maxie ran her hands through her hair.

Georgie went on "Cooper says he will tell Logan everything that happened. I left Coop there with him."

"I can't go back there to see him now!"

"Of course you can."

"He'll think I'm a whore."

"Maxie, he needs us. He's so confused right now. You can't turn your back on him."

"This is so embarrassing!"

"I'm sorry you're upset but we have to put Logan before ourselves right now. Please go see him and let him know you care if he lives or dies."

Maxie sighed. "I'll just keep watering his plants. That's good enough."

"No, its not. He needs us."

"He has his family, Cooper and you."

"Fine, do what you want. I just can't believe you can be so selfish."

Georgie stood up and headed for the door.

Maxie called after her "Okay, fine! I'll go see him but just because he saved your life. Just know that this sucks majorly. I can't imagine what he'll think after he hears about that stupid bet."

"Maybe Coop will leave that part out."

Maxie lit up. She reached over to the night stand and grabbed her cell. "You know what? Maybe its not too late." She sent a text message saying she was glad Logan was awake but please don't tell him anything about their mistake.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I did what? A sex bet?"

"Yep."

"With your girl?"

"The woman I'm in love with. I just got back with Maxie the night you were shot. We've been broken up for months over it."

"Why are you telling me this? You know I got a lot of shit on my mind already-"

"Because when you meet her you need to know to keep your hands off her."

"Done."

"It better be, Logan."

"I'm sorry I fucked up like that."

"It was a bad time for you. Your head wasn't in the right place because of Scott."

"So....why are you here? Why don't you hate me, Coop?"

"Not gonna happen."

"You sure?"

"I'm used to you fucking up. I'd miss it if you weren't around. Not that I'm saying to keep it up cause you can chill out anytime now."

Logan smirked. "Me? I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you."

"Its great to see you up and talking. What else do you want to know about this last year?"

They had already gone over what went down with Scott, how Logan worked in the mob for a while, and Maxie.

"Tell me about my girl."

"Lulu?"

"That's who Georgie said I was dating for a while there. What's she like?"

"Blonde. Pretty. Dramatic."

"That sounds just about right for a chick I'd get with. Did I love her, man?"

"You said you did."

"You don't sound convinced."

"When you see her you'll figure out what you feel for her but, if I was you, I wouldn't jump back into bed with her. You two got pretty ugly there at the end and it just seemed to be heading to an uglier place."

"Ouch."

"Lulu is very hard to be with and you aren't easy either. It was messy."

"I wanna see this girl. See for myself."

"For now, you just do what the doctors say and get your ass better, Logan. Worry about the women in your life later."

"I'm not still with this Lulu, am I?"

"You're on a break right now."

"Hmmm. Lulu know Georgie?"

"Do not even think about juggling them."

"I'm not thinking that. I just want to know how much shit Lulu might have told Georgie about me. You think I'd still have a chance with Georgie?"

"Didn't I just get done telling you that you slept with her sister for a bet?"

"Yeah."

"That don't say it all?"

"So is that a no?"

Cooper chuckled. "God, its good to have you awake."

Logan smirked. "It feels good to wake up somewhere other than the desert."

"I bet it does."

"Damn good. We got home alive, buddy."

They gripped hands and smiled at each other. Cooper had already took off Logan's restraints, after telling Logan that if he didn't stay calm he'd get Patrick in there with a sedative to knock Logan out for a few more days, till he got it through his head that he wouldn't get better till he relaxed and listened to the doctors.

Cooper couldn't have been more happy and relieved to be able to sit next to Logan and talk to him. It was scary to know a year was missing from his mind but Logan seemed to take it okay.

The reason was the sad part: he'd never had a good year before so he didn't think he was missing much by forgetting one of them.

Cooper vowed to find a way to get Logan a good year in 2008. His best buddy had saved Georgie's life and fought to live, he deserved a good year, a good life, the best future. And somehow Cooper would figure out a way to steer Logan away from wanting to work for the mob and date Lulu, and into a legit job and a good girlfriend by his side. Because Logan should make some memories he would hate to ever forget.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was around noon when Logan woke up the next day, other than the times he woke up with the nurses hovering over him but he quickly fell asleep those times. When he woke up for good he found his mother sitting in his room. She was reading a magazine.

"Hey, Ma."

Her head snapped up. "Baby boy! Oh my gracious, is it good to see those eyes open." She jumped up and kissed his cheek. "Still as handsome as ever."

"Aw, Ma."

"You had me worried sick! I don't think I like you living in this Port Charles place with your Pa. You need to come home to the farm."

"Nah, I ain't even got to know Scott yet. I can't turn tail and run now. That ain't how you raised me."

"Hmpf. This town is full of those," she whispered "dang gangsters."

"Ma, its fine. I'll keep my nose clean from now on. Promise."

"Promise. You always promise, Logan, but your promises ain't never been true."

"Sorry, Ma."

"You saved a young girl's life so I can't blame you none for this current trouble. But I've heard some things about you getting in with," she whispered "dang gangsters."

"Didn't the docs tell you? I got some memory loss. Can't recall nothing about that. Maybe someone told you wrong. That don't sound like me."

"Sure." Her eyes narrowed. "I don't like it and I won't have it, you hear me?"

"Yeah, Ma, loud and clear."

"I talked to those doctors you got and they say you got to stay calm so your brain can heal. I best not hear about you getting riled up."

"Not me, ma'am."

She smiled brightly and kissed his cheek again. "I love you, baby boy."

"Love you too, Ma."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Uh..." Logan said when Robin walked into his room later "sorry I was a little rowdy last night."

"Yes, you were." She looked at his chart.

"Tell that other doctor its safe for him to come back now. I ain't gonna bite his head off again."

"I highly doubt Patrick is shaking at the thought. He's too cocky for that."

Logan smirked. "I did catch a cocky vibe from him."

"But he is the best doctor on staff here so you should be grateful he has taken on your case."

"I heard that's cause of Georgie."

"My cousin is very thankful you saved her life."

"You got a great cousin there, doc."

"I think so."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan swallowed hard when, later that day, a man came walking into his room. He had stared at pictures of his father enough online to know his face on sight.

"Uh....uh.." Scott stumbled and then blurted "so you look good, kid!"

Logan just stared at him. It was amazing to see him in person. He was so mad at him for so long but so lonely for him too.

Scott walked closer to the bed. "Um... I heard you lost a chunk of your memories so you don't remember me. I'm...uh..."

"I know who you are. You're my Dad."

Scott startled. "How did you guess that?"

"It ain't no guess. You think I didn't spend my whole life thinking about why you walked out on me and my Ma? I always planned to catch up to you one day and knock you on your ass for that."

Scott stepped back. "Well, lets not be hasty here. We made some progress since you moved to town. I won't lie...it ain't all been a bed of roses but.."

"I don't recall."

"Logan....I wanted to raise you. I just didn't know."

Logan studied the sheet on the bed, as his skin prickled with emotions. "You say."

"It's the truth. I hate how this turned out. But... you made it through this shooting and I want things to be different for us."

"I don't know ya. As far as I know you're nothing but a sperm donor."

"Aw, hell, lets not be name calling. If you got to call me anything...I think you should stick with Dad." Scott gripped the back of Logan's neck.

Logan looked up, with tears in his eyes.

Scott said "You're my kid. You survived. Don't be hard headed...I love you, son. I'll make it all up to you. I know I can."

With his voice breaking Logan said "Dad-"

Scott hugged him.

Just then they heard a woman gasp in the doorway "Oh my God!"


	113. part 6

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Six**

**December 23, 2007, canon**

"Oh my God!"

Maxie could not believe what she was seeing. Logan was hugging Scott, with tears in his eyes. Maxie fumed.

Damn Scotty Baldwin. Friggin con artist! He used Logan's memory loss to weasel his way into his life. When Logan couldn't remember how bad Scott hurt him.

Scott jumped up and looked at Maxie.

She said "I need to see him alone. Now."

Logan said "Excuse me but who the hell are you?"

Scott said "Its fine. Whatever. I don't want no trouble."

Maxie shot daggers at him. If Frisco pulled this shit on her she'd kill him dead. It was one thing to come to her when she remembered and beg forgiveness but to just slide back in when she was all weak and vulnerable and couldn't remember how he abandoned her....that was wrong, at least to her way of thinking.

The easy way out.

Logan would never hug Scott if he remembered all the mean things Scott said to him.

Scott turned back to Logan "I'm gonna head to the cafeteria. Give you some time with your friend."

"You'll come back?"

"Sure, son. Wild horses couldn't keep me away."

Scott headed into the hall and Maxie followed him. She pulled close the door. "THE NERVE!"

"It isn't your concern."

"Its great that you care if he lives or dies but you don't get a free pass! No way. No how."

"He's my son and its my business."

"You suck!"

"Don't you go in there and fill his head with garbage."

"You don't even know Logan and if you did you'd get how pissed he's gonna be when his memory comes back if you don't come clean about what you've done to him."

"You stay out of it!"

"I'm in it! That's my friend in there! He's a lot more to me than he'll ever be to you!"

"That's rich! He's my kid!"

"BIG DEAL! You better fess up. You better get down on your knees and confess and beg forgiveness so when his memory comes back you can actually have a shot of getting him to love you for real. Not just cause he don't know you're a scuzz who has already broken his heart in two. I can't even look at you right now. I feel so sorry for Serena and Tina, I really do."

Maxie stormed back into Logan's room. She tried to fake a smile. "So, hi! How's the head? I bet your buzz cut is gonna be really hot. And when you grow it back out I'll teach you a few style tricks cause you never did master the proper use of gel before."

"Let me guess. Lulu?"

Her mouth dropped. "Very funny."

"Not Lulu?"

"Do you really have amnesia or is this some kind of scam?"

"Maybe you ought to just tell me who you are and why you were cursing out my father in the hall. I could see you ranting through the window."

"I'm Maxie. Ring any bells?"

His cheeks reddened, a little. "Uh..."

"He told you."

"Coop mentioned you."

"Oh God!" She spun around so he couldn't see her face.

"Nice backside."

She spun back around. "Don't go there!"

"Sorry. Seriously, I don't remember us hooking up but I know you're Coop's girl so I know we got a lot in common. Lets be cool now."

She let out a sigh. "Can we just not talk about us having sex? Okay, thanks! Now about Scott....he is not a good guy."

"No?"

"It's a tough break but it's the truth. Be careful around him."

"I know he was nasty to me at first. Coop said that. But I can't remember it or feel it. Its my business how I treat him. Keep out of it."

"If he lets you down....well...just know I rock at revenge."

He smirked. "I think I see what I liked about you."

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you come over here and give me a proper hello?"

"Forget it! I'm with Coop again."

His eyes danced with amusement. "I only meant a hug. Damn, girl, you have a dirty mind. What did you think I meant? And talk slow."

She laughed. "You are as disgusting as ever." She came over and plopped on his bed. "You saved my sister's life. Thank you. I'll owe you forever."

"Where is that sister of yours? She said she was coming back today."

"She goes to school all day and works at Kelly's diner till ten at night at least four days a week. That's where she is tonight. She'll be here afterwards."

"Cool."

"Oh....no."

"What's the matter, doll face?"

"That look in you eye, pig boy! That's what! What did I miss? You're into my sister? How? You have no memory! I knew that was a lie. I knew it. Logan....what are you up to this time? Just tell me cause I can always figure you out."

"Pig boy? That ain't even right."

"My sister is off limits!"

"Whoa. Calm down. I heard rumors you wanted to bury the hatchet with me. That's what Coop and Georgie said. Were they wrong?"

She sighed. "I do want that."

"Good. Cause I'm in a bad place right now. Look around. This ain't the Ritz Carleton, is it, girl? I could use some friends. Especially pretty ones like you and your sister."

"Georgie can not be played with. She's not like you and me."

"What does that mean?"

"She's not a game player. You can't treat her like shit for the fun of it."

"That's how I treated you?"

"We were a hot mess. But it was fun for a minute."

"Don't sound all that bad except Coop was hurt."

"Yeah. And now Georgie can not be hurt. She's my only sister, Logan. You need to think about getting better, not Georgie."

His eyes searched hers. "You still into me?"

She smacked his arm. "Don't you wish!"

"Okay, okay. Well its my business who I think about putting in my bed. You want to help me....tell me about Lulu."

"Trouble. A bitch and a slut. Whiner. You were pathetic around her. Need I say more?"

He chuckled. "I've dated a few chicks like that before."

"Don't tell me that is your type because I'll be so offended. I'm nothing like Lulu and either is Georgie."

"Nah, that ain't my type....breathing is my type."

"Pig boy." Maxie smiled.

Logan smiled back. "You stopping by has cheered me up pretty good, blondie, but I still want to see your sister later. You mad about that?"

"I love Cooper. What part of love are you not getting?"

"Just double checking that you still ain't looking to get with me."

"Pig...boy!"

He chuckled. "You got my number, huh?"

"From day one."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The parade of visitors on that first day he was awake just kept coming. It was around eight at night when a man walked in and said "Hayes," in this short, clipped tone.

"You got me at a disadvantage. I'm not so hot at remembering names these days."

"I'm Commissioner Scorpio. It's my daughter that you rescued from Alcazar in the park." He walked over and held out his hand "I wanted to thank you for saving my..." his voice broke as he tried to maintain his composure "Georgie."

"You're welcome, sir."

"I will never forget what you've done for my family. Anytime you need anything...anything at all."

"Thank you, sir."

"So how are you holding up now?"

"I feel all right but I think I'm gonna be stuck here for a few more days, at least. Some spot to spend Christmas, right?"

"Next year should be better. You're sticking around town, right?"

"That's the plan."

"Then next year you eat at my place. I want to make up for this Christmas dinner you're gonna miss in a few days. We'll set a place for you. I hope you take me up on the offer and at least swing by after you see your own family."

"Count me in, sir."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

At around ten thirty that night, as Logan sat there all cleanly shaven with cologne on, Georgie popped her head into his room. She wore a big smile and held up a tupperware container.

"Brownies! Just like I promised." She lingered by the door. "Is it an okay time to visit?"

"Get on in here, darlin."

She walked inside, with a shy smile on her lips now, and passed him the brownies. "For my hero."

"You are gonna give me a big head if you don't quit, girl."

She stared at him for a long moment, as he opened the container and took a bite of one of the brownies.

After swallowing he declared "Delicious. My Ma don't even make them this good. Who taught you to bake like this?"

"I taught myself. From cookbooks. Its what I used to do back in middle school a lot when I was bored."

"Thank God you got bored because you've stumbled onto a real talent here, girl."

Another smile curved her lips. Looking at her, with those sweet smiles and her curvy body, and the way she cared so deeply about him now, he wondered why they ever used to fight and what Lulu could be like to make him not want Georgie from the day he met her.

Lulu was turning into quite a mystery in Logan's mind. He wondered what kept her from visiting him today. Didn't anyone tell her he was awake? Didn't she stop by each day no matter what like his other friends and family had? Maybe their break really was a break up and she just didn't give a good damn anymore.

Logan pushed thoughts of who Lulu was to him from his mind. He didn't want to mess up the time he had Georgie in his room on thinking about Lulu.

Georgie pulled up a chair and sat down. "So, Robin says that some more swelling went down around your brain. I take it you've been calm today?"

"I've been a very good boy," he flirted. "Are you proud of me?"

"Extremely."

His mouth crooked into a grin. "If I'm good tomorrow, what will you bring me?"

"What do you want? Name it. Anything."

"Anything? Nope." His eyes lit up with a devilish glint. "I doubt you got the same sort of things in mind that I do."

Georgie blushed, stood up and started to look at the bag of fluids that was going into Logan from an IV. "Hmm. Saline. Not a morphine drip. I don't know what accounts for your good mood around me these days. I wish you could remember why you never liked me much before. It had to be my know-it-all attitude."

"You don't seem like that type at all. Maybe I had you pegged wrong."

"Sometimes I do sorta act like I have all the answers. And sometimes you did things that made my head want to explode. But its all the past now. I'm so looking forward to being your friend."

"I don't know that I care to remember all that much about this last year. It sounds like it was pretty messed up. But I'd like to know some things. Like how I really thought of people around here."

"You'll get it all back. I believe that. You'll be just as healthy as you were before." After a pause she asked "Guess what? We're planning a weekend at a cabin in the mountains for New Year's Eve. I hope you're up to joining us. Robin said, unless complications arise, you'll be going home in three more days."

"Christmas in here. That is gonna suck."

"We'll make it okay, Logan. I promise."

"I don't want you spending Christmas here, Georgie. That's completely unfair to you and it ain't happening. Besides my Ma will be here and she'll probably drag a turkey in and get the nurses all in a tizzy over it."

"How was seeing your family today?"

"My Ma was fantastic, as always. Did you meet her yet?"

"Sure. We've spent lots of time in the chapel together."

He smiled slightly.

Georgie added "I really like her a lot."

His grin widened. "And...uh...I met your Pops today too."

"What?!"

"Relax."

"He didn't yell at you, did he? That gun was legally registered that you had and he knows it!"

"Georgie-"

"He's so overprotective. I hope he didn't bother you or warn you to not talk to me or Maxie. Your days in the mob are long over. I'll talk to him."

"He just came by to say thank you for helping you out that night."

She let out a breath. "Oh! Good."

Logan chuckled. "I take it that your father is the type who cleans his shotgun when guys come over to take y'all out on dates."

"His handgun but yes. That's just about right."

"Lucky we are just friends."

"Just barely friends but that can change. We can grow this into a deep life long bond. I'm sure we can."

Lifelong. Logan had been aching for something that would last his whole life long for years and years. He never picked the right woman though. It was as if he didn't really want to find it, no matter how much he said he did. He picked the type of chicks that would only break his heart, if he didn't break them first.

Georgie seemed so different. She seemed like wife material. And that didn't scare him at all.

"Sign me up," he said.

She smiled at him. He would do anything to keep that smile in his world.

**Note- This story has six chapters more that will be posted on Sunday. I normally wouldn't post so much of a story at once but I have been writing a lot of Glo lately and I have several more Glo stories to put up in the upcoming weeks. I thought I would share this one with you this weekend.**

**Thank you for checking out the first half of Never Desert You.**


	114. part 7

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Seven**

**December 24, 2007, canon**

Logan felt like a dang fool walking laps around the hospital in two gowns, to make sure his ass didn't hang out, with Cooper at his side, to make sure he didn't fall down. He felt like he was at full strength but the doctors said he had to get used to moving around again. He was dragging his IV with him.

"I'm plenty strong enough to get out of this joint, Coop. I was just in Iraq for God sake's!"

"No. That was a year ago."

"You know what I mean. A year ago. Fine. You telling me I've gone to hell in a year. Can't even walk around without a babysitter now?"

"You always could use a sitter, Logan."

"Ha ha."

Cooper laughed.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Fuck you."

"Will you please clean up your language? There is a nurse around here who is tougher than Sarge ever was."

"Yeah I had a run in with Miss Johnson already. Mean old battle-"

From behind them, a woman asked "What is that, Mr. Hayes? Speak up. I didn't hear you."

Logan and Cooper froze. They slowly turned around. Logan said "Ma'am, good day."

Epiphany said "That's more like it! Now get back to bed before you tire yourself out."

"Yes, ma'am."

She gave him a hard glare. "Well, go!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

Epiphany walked off. Cooper and Logan busted out laughing. Cooper shook his head and said "Trouble just finds your ass every day. I don't know how you do it."

"It's a skill."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was thrilled to put some normal clothes on to go to the hospital Christmas party. Earlier that day he was moved into a regular room. His condition was nearly normal but the memory loss had no change. He saw Dr. Lainey Winters and neurological specialists but to no avail.

Though some patients were at the party in their gowns and robes, Logan just refused to be seen that way by half the town. After he heard about the party he asked Cooper to leave the hospital and go to his place to get him some clothes. Cooper brought everything Logan needed back, but couldn't stay for the party because he had to work.

Logan wandered down to the nurses station and spotted Patrick, dressed as Santa, reading kids a story. There was a huge crowd gathered around. The only thing that made it clear Logan was a patient were the bandages around his head.

He hoped he didn't see that grouchy nurse who would tell him to go lay in bed and shut his mouth with his complaints because she wasn't in the mood for him.

Looking at the crowd, he had to stifle a laugh when he spotted Georgie dressed as some kind of elf. Standing next to her was a blonde, dressed in a similarly God awful get up.

Georgie looked so cute.

When she saw him she blushed deeply. She started to walk over but the other blonde literally ran through the crowd and got to his side before Georgie took more than a few steps. "Oh hi! I was planning to stop in your room later."

"Hello, doll. We know each other?"

"I'm Lulu. I heard you're having memory issues. That sucks."

"Yeah."

So this was Lulu. She was pretty. But she seemed very self absorbed. She was gonna stop in later? Well don't make him too much of a priority there. Thanks a lot.

"Logan," her eyes fell "I know you don't remember but we were really tight for a while. I'm here for you, if you need anything."

"I'm good."

Her hazel eyes rose and met his. She seemed surprised he wasn't falling all over himself to take her up on her paltry, non-specific offer. "Really? Because I could make some time to visit you. Bring you Christmas dinner or something. I don't cook...God, no...but my family owns a diner."

"That's sweet but I'll be all right."

"If your sure?"

"I'm sure. So...you and me...what's our deal now?"

"We broke up. No one told you that?"

"I heard we were having problems. I kinda figured they were bad since you ain't been around to see me yet."

"I've been so busy. But I meant to come by. I really did."

"What's the deal with this outfit you got on?"

"Its horrid, right? It's a tradition. Don't ask. I've just about aged out of it, I think. In fact, next year I'm gonna see if I can talk your sister, Tina, into taking my place."

"I ain't met her yet."

"You'll like her," Lulu mused, already searching the crowd for someone else. "I have to go. I see a friend of mine."

"Okay. Go then."

"I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Yeah."

She hurried off, not looking back, and ended up talking to some other guy. Logan shook his head. Wow. He knew how to pick them. He always did chase the woman who made his head hurt. But if she got him hard that was all that seemed to matter.

Till Georgie. And her offer of friendship. It sounded like the best offer he got in all his life.

His eyes went to find her in the crowd. She had the saddest look in her eyes. He worked his way through the crowd to her.

He whispered, while standing behind her, "Hey, darlin."

She was close to Patrick, acting as Santa's helper. She hissed back, through clenched teeth, "I'm working right now."

He whispered back "Sexy outfit."

"Go away."

"Come see me later."

"I have to study."

Great. Just great. Now Georgie was pissed off. Fantastic. "Okay. Whatever."

Not the right thing to say at all.

She snapped back "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

People started to look at them.

Logan leaned close to her ear. "Have it your way. But I'll miss you."

Her body relaxed. She turned her head to look into his eyes. The moment held until the kids exploded into rounds of clapping. Georgie startled and jumped away from Logan. He slid back through the crowd and went to his room.

He couldn't wait till he was released from the hospital so he could beg Georgie to date him. She needed to be his girl. Nobody's else.

Even if she could work a bad mood like nobody's business. She warned him that they fought plenty of times before- and Coop said the same thing. Maxie said to just leave her alone. But he couldn't.

She made his heart race. She made his soul warm. She turned him on and made him care about life again.

The last thing he remembered was fear and bullets flying and thinking he'd die before he ever saw America again. Now he was home and he was trying to adjust to living like a civilian again, to being stuck in a hospital, and to dealing with people who remembered him but he didn't remember.

She made life easier. Better. Happier. He had to have her. Had to. Logan hoped she came to his room tonight, even though she said she wouldn't.

It was clear what made her mad. Him talking to his ex. And that was a good sign. A real good sign.

XXXXXXXXX

She felt like an idiot.

Logan could talk to whoever he wanted. He should talk to Lulu. It might be good for him. He had loved her from the first day he met her- it seemed like to Georgie.

But seeing them together made a wave of undeniable sadness drift through her. He'd probably fall for Lulu again and then he'd barely need or want Georgie around at all.

She was really starting to like seeing him. They only had two visits so far but both left her smiling. It felt good to be making this work. She knew they were so different and never got along before but she was determined they would now. As friends. Just friends.

He could marry Lulu for all she cared.

When Logan came over to talk to her, she started biting his head off without meaning to. It just came out. Then he said he'd miss her and she softened completely.

Her heart melted.

He wanted her to be his friend. He went out of his way to tell her that. Sure he was a player, a liar and a cheater. But he rarely bared his soul in public. So when he whispered that he would miss her she really believed it was true.

It was easier to believe that then his come on lines about her being hot. That was just typical Logan and not to be taken seriously.

Georgie hated that he saw her in this horrible, ugly, garish Elf costume but the damage was already done on that front so she didn't bother to change before heading to his room. He was on the fifth floor now. "Merry Christmas Eve!"

He smiled as she walked in. "Your mood has improved."

She was carrying two glasses. "Egg nog. That always does it for me."

"Pass it over, girl."

She gave him one and stood there, shyly, by his bed "So about earlier-"

At the same time he said "Listen, that thing with Lulu-"

"You loved her. I hope it works out for you two."

"Nah, it ain't working out. Forget about that."

"Oh. Well, that's too bad."

"Really? You didn't seem to be on Team Logan/Lulu earlier? Was I reading you wrong, darlin?"

"I was ticked about being in this outfit again. I'm done after this year."

"Lulu said the same thing. They are pretty bad."

"Very much so."

"But they show off your sexy legs."

She blushed. "Don't start. Friends don't flirt."

"I don't like that rule at all."

"You never liked any rule so that doesn't surprise me."

"Georgie, you said I never liked you too much. You sticking with that story?"

"Its not a story. It's the truth."

"Okay, maybe. But what did you think about me?"

"I'm sorry but it would hurt your feelings to tell you that and I won't do that. Not on Christmas Eve."

"What makes you think that we should even try to pull this off then? I don't want you here out of obligation cause I showed up with a gun at the right time that night. I didn't do the hottest job or I wouldn't be here in the hospital. You want to fall for the guy that was your hero? Look in Coop's direction."

"Fall for?" she breathed out.

She could see he was getting worked up. She'd seen it a hundred times before and, just like then, she didn't know what set him off. But she couldn't think of that right now because her heart was beating so fast.

How did he know that she suddenly found herself attracted to him? Had she been that obvious?

Logan said "You want me. But you don't want to want me. What in the hell is so bad about me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she whispered.

His eyes bore into hers. "Don't you?"

Her hands started shaking. She set down her egg nog. Logan set down his. She fidgeted around and asked "Should I go out to the hall, come back in, and we can try this again?"

He let out a breath. It hissed between his teeth."Don't play games with me."

"You can't get upset!"

"I just don't get you! Why are you always hot then cold?"

"No screaming!"

"You were jealous of me talking to Lulu. Admit it!"

Georgie grabbed his arms and whispered, staring deep into his eyes, her breathing shallow "Stop screaming and I will."

His eyes closed. She let go. Logan let out some short breaths. Georgie backed up.

_Oh my God_, she thought, _What just happened here_?


	115. part 8

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Eight**

**December 24, 2007, canon**

"Come sit down, darlin." He patted his bed.

Nervously she walked over there. "Seriously, if you scream again, I'm leaving and I'm calling Robin."

"I'm sorry, Georgie. I lose my temper at the worst times sometimes. Its not what I start out meaning to do and before I know it I'm just freaking out."

"I don't like it."

"Me either."

She stared at him for a long moment, then her eyes fell and she stared at her own hands that were clutched together. "I'm sorry that I'm being so immature, Logan. You don't need me getting a crush on you and making your life complicated. You and Lulu should take some time and get to know each other again."

"Forget Lulu. She ain't on my radar."

"Well, me and you are a bad idea."

"Yeah. I get that you feel that way. And that's what hurts. I really wanted to get out of this hospital and ask you out for a proper date. But you remember our past and I don't. So you already got it in your head that we can't work. Then you come here and force yourself to be nice. That's bullshit. Its not even fair. You make me like you, need you and want you...while knowing you are only here cause you feel you got to make up for me helping you out. Its messed up. You're playing with my emotions, girl."

Like you. Need you. Want you. The words ran through Georgie's mind. Her eyes widened.

Logan, who was still dressed in his normal clothes, gently took her hand. "How about you stop thinking about how we used to be? Could you try and do that for me?"

"Okay."

His eyes lit up. "Yeah?"

"Why not?"

He smiled. "You think that you could change your mind on us being a bad idea?"

She swallowed hard. "Your not in the right frame of mind to decide anything right now."

"Cop out."

"What?"

"That answer is a cop out. Say you can't get over the past. Or say I don't make your heart race and you lose your breath....though I won't believe it if you try that line....say you don't like me cause I get too angry and crazy sometimes. Say there is some other guy already laying claim to your heart. But don't say I'm too sick to fall for you."

She sucked in a deep breath and held it. Her mind had been consumed with Logan for every moment since he was shot but she never expected him to wake up and get consumed with her back.

"Logan," she whispered "if only you could remember then you'd know how much you love Lulu."

"I don't want to remember. Can't you get that?"

"Of course you want to. Anyone would. You just don't know all your missing out on feeling because of the lost time. But I know. And I want you to get it all back."

"I don't want it back. Not if it means I go back to chasing after Cooper's girlfriend...your sister...and I go back to sniffing after some chick who has a string of other guy's following behind her ass....and if I start to dislike the hottest woman in this whole city again. You are the best part of my day now, Georgie.....I wanna be the best part of yours. Its hurts that you think I'm too much of a loser to want."

"You're not a loser. You saved my life."

"That was one night. I want to be your hero everyday."

"You do?"

"Let me try, at least. I know that this...in this hospital room...ain't the most romantic spot but...well...I guess I suck at patience. So here we go.....can I take you out on a date?"

Just then there was a gasp at the doorway. Georgie looked that way and saw Jacqueline Hayes. Georgie blushed deeply and jumped off the bed. "Hi! Merry Christmas."

"Hey there, sugar. I just came to bring Logan his first gift but if this ain't the best time-"

"No. Don't go. I'll go."

"Georgie, you don't got to leave," Logan said.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Get some rest. Merry Christmas!" She hurried from the room.

She stopped down the hall and leaned against the wall. His light, intense eyes filled her mind. He wanted her. Logan wanted her.

Georgie had never felt this overheated in her whole life. They hadn't even kissed and she was trembling with desire for him. Even though their past made it seem like they'd never work, and even though he'd probably get his memory back and want Lulu instead, she couldn't help but crave the feel of his lips against hers.

A kiss from Logan. How hot would that be?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Baby boy," Jackie said, walking into the room. "That girl is precious. Really."

"Ma," he groaned.

"Sorry about the bad timing. I heard stories about you and another filly. I do believe her name was Lola-"

"Lulu."

"That's the girl! What happened to her? You have a chance to catch up yet?"

"Yeah. She's my ex and she's staying that."

"You positive? I wouldn't want you to be leading Georgie on. She's such a sweet thing." Jackie playfully hit his arm. "You be good to her."

"Aw, Ma, please. Lets drop this subject."

She passed him a gift. "Merry Christmas, baby boy."

He grinned and opened up the present. It was two plane tickets to Dallas/Fort Worth, open ended. "You need to come home and visit me some time. You ain't been home in a year and I can already tell you ain't coming back no time soon. Not to stay. But give your Ma a break and at least come by for a visit."

"I will, Ma. Promise."

She smiled brightly. "I'm so glad you're getting better. You're my heart, Logan. I couldn't lose you."

Tears pricked his eyes as she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

XXXXXXXXXXX

After his mother left, Logan realized he had no phone numbers to call Cooper or anyone else he knew. He dialed information and got Georgie's number.

"Hello."

"Georgie?"

"Maxie. What's going on? You still think you're getting with my sister?"

"Be nice."

"I just know you."

"Yeah, well, I hope it ain't you who is poisoning Georgie's mind against me."

"Ha! She just knows you too."

"And that means what?"

"Oh, don't get all pouty. Whatever. I'm going to be open minded about you because you saved Georgie's life. You got some good in you. Buried down real deep. But don't screw over my sister!"

"Can I talk to her or what?"

"She's out on a date?"

"What? With who?"

"Kidding!" Maxie giggled.

"I can't have my blood pressure raised, woman. You trying to kill me?"

It was just after eleven pm. Cooper had gotten off of work. He came strolling into Logan's hospital room.

Maxie said "No. I really don't want to kill you. Sorry. Its just fun to mess with you."

"Get your sister for me."

"All right."

Logan covered the phone with his hand. "Hey, buddy."

"What are you up to?"

"Can you not start?"

Georgie came on the line. "Hi." She sounded breathless.

"Hey, darlin. You ran out of here like your feet were on fire."

"You needed to visit with your Mom."

"You didn't answer my question."

"The question about us going on a date?"

"That's the one."

"Um..."

"Georgie, all I remember is the last few days, and in those days I haven't looked forward to seeing anyone like I look forward to seeing you. Does that mean anything to you? Cause if it don't...forget it. But if it does...just say what I want to hear."

"Yes."

"Yeah?"

"One date."

"Just one?"

"Don't get carried away. You'll get your memory back and then- "

"Stop worrying about that. Even if my memories come back I won't forget the last few days. And that's all that matters most."

She let out a happy little sigh that made Logan's heart flip over. He asked her "You sure about this, girl? I ain't talking you into something you don't want, am I?"

He knew she wanted him. But he loved hearing it.

" This might be a reckless idea, Logan, but I don't think its, necessarily, a bad one. At least I don't think that now. Its just one date. We can be friends after one date."

"Or we can be..." he whispered as Cooper stood there shaking his head at Logan's shameless flirting.

She whispered, dreamily, "That's enough of that talk. Good night."

"Night, darlin." Logan hung up.

Cooper asked "You just couldn't help yourself, could you?"

"She's just too good to resist, man. You don't like it, tough. I'm not gonna do this girl wrong. I deserve a good girl too, don't I?"

"Sure. Just don't screw her over in any way ever because she's really sweet."

"I know that. I see how sweet Georgie is. And I see how she's into me. What more do I need to know?"

"That you fell hard for Lulu- "

Logan groaned. "Don't bring her up to me again! I met that chick tonight. She gave me like three minutes and then bolted to talk to some other guy."

"What happens if you get your memories back and want to punch out any guy who gets around Lulu again? Where does that leave Georgie?"

"Lay off, buddy. Look at me. I'm stuck in this hospital. I'm laid up and I'm messed up. Can't remember a whole year. Then along comes this woman who is amazing and all about me. That's a good thing! Stop bringing me down."

"Okay. Forget about that subject for a while. Merry Christmas, Logan."

"We made it home for Christmas, Coop."

"Yeah, we made it. And this is just the second of many."

Logan grinned. "So what's this I hear about spending New Year's Eve at some cabin?"

"You heard about that huh?"

"Who all is going?"

"Maxie, Georgie, this friend of Georgie's who is home for the holidays- Brooklyn, and Spinelli."

"What's a Spinelli?"

"Some guy who you always used to beat up. And also one of Georgie's good friends."

"You invited some other guy who is all close to Georgie along? What the hell? And I don't like him? Some vacation."

"Just be cool."

"She better not be feeling him, Cooper."

"I really have no clue."

"Spinelli. That his whole name?"

"Damian Spinelli. He's....different."

"In what way?"

"You'll have to meet him and see."

"I can't wait till I get out of here and I can get back to a normal life. Take Georgie on a date. Get a job again. Sleep in my own bed. Hell, see my apartment."

"Just a few more days."

"I could always check out tonight."

"No, you can't. Don't even think about that."


	116. part 9

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Nine **

**December 25, 2007, canon**

Logan thought spending Christmas in the hospital would be horrible but it turned out to be amazing. Around six pm, when just his mom was in his room, the door filled with a group of people crying "Merry Christmas!"

Scott had come through for him. He brought Logan's sisters- Tina and Serena- along with Logan's grandparents- Lee and Gail- to spend the holiday with him.

For the first time in his life Logan saw his parents in the same room together. Their banter was easy and teasing. Though Logan always hated Scott for abandoning Jackie, Jackie never hated him half as much and now she seemed to have forgiven him.

It sent a warmth flooding through Logan that he'd never felt before. And his night only got better later when Cooper, Georgie and Maxie came to visit.

His family had already left.

Logan's eyes locked on Georgie. She was all dressed up for the holiday, wearing a blue wrap dress with her hair softly curled. She looked amazing and he wished they were alone so he could kiss her. Just one kiss. Just to know what it felt like.

"Hey!" he said, happily. "You brought the party to me, huh?"

They were carrying presents and food. Soon they were all laughing and having a great time together.

When it was time for them to leave Maxie and Cooper took off first, holding hands and looking like they were heading straight for the first bed they could find, while Georgie was cleaning up wrapping paper and throwing it away.

Logan said "When I get out of here, girl, I'm gonna make sure to head to the mall and get y'all presents too."

"I don't think you should take on the mall anytime soon. Especially this time of year."

"You're so cute, Georgie. Its sweet of you worry about me."

She blushed. She grabbed her purse and coat. "I'm taking my cute self home. Good night."

"Hold on. Come over here."

She walked close to the bed. He took her hand and kissed it. "Good night, darlin."

She smiled sweetly, turn and left.

Logan lay back down on the bed. If he lost his memory today he would hate it. He'd forget these precious moments with Georgie. And that would be heartbreaking for him.

She was too good to forget.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**December 26, 2007**

"Ho, ho, ho," Lulu walked into Logan's room. She was wearing a Santa hat. "How was your holiday?"

"All right. What brings you around?"

"I just got to thinking about you and how bad I feel that you're stuck here. I feel so bad! Really! I do."

"I'm getting kicked out tomorrow."

"So you remember now?"

"Nah. Its just that I'm stable enough to go home."

"Do you need a ride?"

"I got that figured out already."

"Would you like me to stop by later tomorrow night? Maybe we could hang out for a while. I could tell you all our memories from your place."

"Look...."

"I miss you, Logan."

"Well, that's real sweet."

"I'd like you to give me a chance to get to know you again." She moved close to the bed. "We have a bond. No one understands it. And sometimes its so crazy between us. But its because we care so much....I care about you. You've been on my mind constantly since I saw you at the Christmas party." She bent over and pressed her lips to his.

"OH!"

Logan jerked away. Georgie stood in the doorway. Her hurt eyes met his and then she ran away.

Logan glared at Lulu. "Look what you caused!"

"What? I don't get it."

"You're my ex. My ex. And that's for a reason. Sorry but I can't remember ever being in love with you. You need to stay away from me. I'm not trying to hurt you. Just being honest with you. We don't exist no more."

"Fine! This was a mistake!" She ran out.

He muttered "You're telling me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**December 27, 2007**

Logan spent the next twenty hours being sure that Georgie would ignore him for the rest of his life if she could. So he planned to go to her door and beat on it till she dealt with him. He had called her but she wouldn't come to the phone. When he walked back into his apartment, looking all around and hoping to remember the last year but his home brought back no memories, he noticed there was a gift basket on his coffee table.

It had movies, microwave popcorn, and soda in it. "This you?" he asked Cooper.

"Nope."

Logan sat on the couch and grabbed the card. He read it: For my hero. A grin creased his lips. "Georgie."

"Maxie must have used her key and put that in here."

"You giving your girl a key to my place-"

"Say thank you. She kept your pathetic half assed plant alive."

"Aw, all right. Thank you. But get that key back from her."

"Believe me, now that you're gonna be here, that is on the top of my list."

Logan chuckled. "Low."

"Honest. Anyway, you want to order some pizza? I'm off tonight. The game is on."

"What game? The Knicks? You know I don't give a damn about that team."

"You live in New York now. Get used to it."

"I got things to do tonight. Go thank Georgie properly."

"Leave her alone."

"That ain't your call."

"Just give her space. She saw you with Lulu and she's hurting. I told you not to hurt her by going back by Lulu. It took you what? Two days?"

"I told ya I don't want that blonde! And I'm gonna tell Georgie the same when I see her."

"You'll be seeing her in a few days. Don't get her so upset that she refuses to go away with us this weekend."

Logan let out a sigh. "Fuck! Why did Lulu have to drag her ass into my hospital room?"

"Maybe because she loves you."

"And that is a good thing?"

"I didn't say all that."

Logan stood up. "I'm going to see Georgie."

"Relax! Lets order dinner and check out what movies she sent over."

"What if she's with that guy she likes?"

"Who? Spinelli?"

"Whatever his name is. I ain't risking it."

"Do what you want but if Georgie gets pissed off or hurt then I swear-"

"You let me worry about Georgie. You are entirely too into my business."

"Just paying back the favor."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Where are my keys?"

Cooper opened up a drawer in the kitchen and took them out. Just then the phone rang. Logan grabbed it. "Hey."

"Hi. Its Georgie."

"Oh....hey, darlin. I was actually just coming over to see you."

"Driving? I don't think you should yet."

"I'm recovered."

"Recovering, Robin says. Its not the same as recovered. Do not come over here tonight."

"Why? You with that guy?"

"What are you talking about? I just called to see if you made it home and if you liked your gift."

"Yeah. I like it a lot. But I want us to sit down and talk about what you think is going on with me and Lulu-"

"No."

"What?"

"I don't want to talk to you about Lulu. I made a mistake in thinking you and I could be more than friends. I was being incredibly unfair to you. I set you up to be hurt. When you have your memories back, you'll be so sorry you didn't wait for Lulu....and its better that you realized your feelings for her right away than months from now."

"Well, you have this all figured out, I see. Got my life decided and tied up with a bow."

"When you feel better-"

"I'm not some kind of invalid! I can make choices for myself right now!"

"Do not scream, Logan. I can't stand the thought of you ending up back in the hospital because of me."

"Just so you know, I ain't got feelings for Lulu or anybody, but you. So why don't you put that in your pretty little plan for me and get back to me when you figure out how it fits into the way my life is gonna go, according to Georgie." He slammed down the phone.

Cooper let out a sigh. "You two are just..."

"Shut up!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**December 28, 2007**

Logan found himself in a depressed mood.

Everything seemed to hit him at once. He lost his memories and they weren't coming back. If they didn't then Georgie would never date him. He lost a year of his life. He wasted that year anyway and, even if he could remember it, he didn't know what would be good about it. His father hadn't seen him since Christmas. Maybe Scott forgot about him again. Got his desire to be a Dad to his only son out of his system. On top of his personal problems, he had professional ones too. The fact he had no profession at all. Logan couldn't look for a new job till he was released to work from Patrick. That cocky asshole was taking his own sweet time looking for some cure for Logan that Logan was pretty sure was never gonna come.

He sunk into a post-holiday funk.

Then his sisters called and wanted to meet for coffee. He drove over to The Corinthos-Morgan Café. When he walked in, his youngest sister Tina popped out of her seat and ran over to hug him. That hug changed his whole mood.

He smiled down at her. She was eleven with brown pig tails and big brown eyes.

"Hey, kid!"

"Thanks for showing up."

"Sure, no problem." He shrugged off his jacket.

They sat down at the time with Serena. She asked "So Lulu? Really? No, really? You couldn't find better than her in this whole city?"

"Aw, God in Heaven, not you too. How did you hear I used to date that girl?"

"I hear things, that's all you need to know. What were you thinking? Or what were you thinking with? That's the better question."

"Lets just say I've seen the light."

"Yeah, I heard. But things aren't going so hot with Georgie either. You so need my help. You're lucky I came home for Christmas. You were making a mess out of your life without me."

"What kind of help you got in mind? I got this on my own. Stay out of who I'm dating."

Serena leaned over the table. "You can get pissed but don't take it out on Tina cause this was all my idea." She looked at her sister. "Lets go get lattes."

"I get a latte?" Tina asked, excitedly.

"You get hot chocolate. Come on," Serena said, as they walked away.

Logan called after her. "What was your bright idea?"

Just then Georgie walked in the door. Logan's heart pounded hard in his chest. He didn't know why but she seemed like the best woman he was ever gonna meet and it killed him to know she could take him or leave him.

And now his sister went and tricked Georgie into coming here. She looked shocked at the sight of him.

He didn't want her if he had to get her this way.

She walked over to the table. "Hi. Its good to see you're spending time with your sisters. They invited me along. Hope that's all right."

Stiffly he said "Sure. Sit on down."


	117. part 10

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Ten**

**December 28, 2007, canon**

Georgie nervously slid into a seat at Logan's table at The Corinthos- Morgan coffee house. It was clear that Serena set her up big time.

Serena had already given her a big speech about how Serena wanted Logan happy and that Georgie could make that happen. She ignored everything Georgie said about Logan always loving Lulu and how he would one day be with Lulu again.

Since Georgie refused to meet up with Logan on her own, Serena had fixed it so they were put in the same place together. Even though they were going to spend a whole weekend together that was obviously too far away for Serena's liking.

She couldn't be mad at her childhood friend. She only wanted Georgie to smile again, fall in love again, be happy again. And she wanted the same for Logan.

So did Georgie. But she knew he was just confused right now. His feelings for Lulu had already come out once- when they kissed- and they would come out again. It was just a matter of time.

Georgie slipped off her coat. "So how are you doing, Logan?"

"Feeling much better now. How are you?"

"Fine."

After a tension filled pause, Logan said "I always wanted to meet my sisters but I didn't realize Serena would be such a buttinski."

Georgie giggled.

Logan smirked.

She said "Its not her fault. Don't get mad. She means well."

"Yeah but she made you all uncomfortable and that's not cool."

"I'm fine. Lets talk about you. You skipped an appointment with Patrick earlier today. You can't do that, Logan."

"Confidentiality ain't what it used to be anymore."

"I'm sorry but I just..."

"What?"

"I care. Are you going to make up the appointment before our trip?"

"Don't concern yourself with that."

"I'm not trying to run your life but I'm so tempted to tell Cooper to pick you up, drive you to GH, walk you straight to the office and stand outside while you are there. So tempted. But I won't."

"I'm not a child. I can handle getting to my appointments on my own."

"So many people care about you but you have to care about yourself too."

"I'll make up the appointment. I just wasn't in the mood today."

"Okay. Thank you."

He stared at her for a long moment. "You look real good today, Georgie."

She gave him a shy smile. "I should get a drink. Can I get you anything?"

He stood up. "Let me buy you one."

"I want to treat you."

"That's not how we do it where I'm from."

"That's how I do it, though, Logan."

"Okay. I'll take black coffee."

She smiled. She loved to win arguments with him. It was a shame he was so hooked on Lulu. The idea of them having a date together had really gotten Georgie excited. For one night she dreamt of Logan being in love with her.

It was her sweetest dream ever.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Logan just missed hanging around Georgie. She cheered him up with her sweet smiles, her intense determination, her shyness, her stubborn side, her humor. He liked getting all caught up in her.

It made him forget his own problems.

After his sisters finished their drinks and left, Georgie stood up and said "I should get going to."

"You have to work tonight?"

"I have gifts to return at the mall and the lines will be crazy."

"Want some company?"

"That isn't a good idea, Logan."

He stood up. "Well we can't be lifelong friends if we don't ever hang out."

"The mall is a madhouse this time of year."

"Yeah and your point?"

"You'll get all jostled around and its filled with people with colds and its just not a good place for you right now. I'll see you tomorrow when we leave for the cabin. We're meeting at my house around noon." She headed for the door, holding her coat and purse.

"Georgie, wait." Logan caught up to her. "Okay. I can handle the mall. It's a mall, for God's sake. Not a third world country. And I'd like us to really work on being friends before things get awkward and we just end up not even talking anymore. Plus your school break will be over soon. I'll be getting a new job. We won't have time to hang out."

"I think I'm rubbing off on you."

"Why do ya say that?"

"Because I'm usually the one with all the reasons and plans."

"You know I'm right."

"If you want to come along, fine. But if you start to feel tired do not be all manly and keep your mouth shut. Promise?"

"Okay. Deal."

They headed off to the mall together in her car.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie enjoyed spending time with Logan. She found it amazing that they could get along so well sometimes and fight so horribly at other times, in their past. But she couldn't hold against him stuff he couldn't even remember doing. They seemed to be falling into a new rhythm. One that wasn't filled with tension over their failed idea of starting a romance, and one that was not filled with anger over him sleeping with her sister on a bet and messing up Maxie's relationship with Cooper.

Finally they were settling on a middle ground where they could laugh, joke and tease each other without anyone taking it the wrong way.

They got dinner at the mall, after returning her gifts, and ended up back in her car, on their way to the coffee house so he could get his truck.

He said "You need a ride to this cabin this weekend? I got room for one more in my truck."

"Oh no! No you don't. That truck stays parked this weekend. The cabin is three hours away. If you think you are driving three hours-"

Smiling, he said "If you think you can stop me...go ahead, girl, give it your best shot."

"Don't tempt me."

"I'm daring you."

"Lucky for me that doesn't affect me in the least. I have reason and rationality on my side."

He chuckled. "I have my keys and no body gaurd to stop me."

"Okay, think of it this way, you can drive three hours away and I can't stop you. But if you do, you could get tired and crash. Because you are still on medication and not even supposed to be driving at all. And if you happen to be lucky enough to make it....guess what you'll be greeted with?"

"You being pissed off."

"See how smart you are, Logan."

"I'm not riding in the backseat of Cooper's ride because he refuses to listen to decent music."

"Poor baby!"

Logan chuckled. "You are not making me see your side of this, girl."

"I think I already won this arguement."

"How about me and you ride together in your car? I'll pick the radio stations and you can decide on rest stops. Now tell me that ain't a deal you just can't pass up."

"I'm riding with my best friend Brooklyn....but I guess you could squeeze in with us. Though that leaves Maxie and Spinelli together with Cooper and they fight all the time."

"Yeah, well, that sounds like their problem. Not ours."

"I just think it would be too crowded in here with four people and luggage."

"My truck is perfect for luggage and coolers and whatever girly junk you girls are bringing."

"Forget about the truck. I don't want you back in the hospital. I'm sick of that place. The food really needs work."

He chuckled. "That cook ain't got nothing on you. You should go into that kitchen and show him a thing or two."

"You only tasted my brownies."

"They were great brownies."

"Thank you, Logan."

They listened to the radio till they got back to the parking lot at the coffee house. Georgie said "We're leaving at noon tomorrow so find out if Patrick can see you in the morning."

"I'll handle it, girl."

"You promise?"

"Okay, sure, I promise."

"Keep your promise."

He stared into her eyes for a long moment. "Its so strange. This feeling. Being in Iraq one minute and then seeing you the next."

"You'll get back all those moments between. Just remember that whenever I yelled at you in the past, I was angry on behalf of people I love, and you were wrong."

He laughed at the _You were wrong_ part of her sentence.

She smiled and said "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye, darlin."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**December 29, 2007, **

"Oh my God," Brooklyn whispered excitedly, as she stood right in front of Georgie by Georgie's car the next day. "He's so fine!"

"Shhh!"

Logan was helping Cooper pack up Cooper's SUV, as they were parked in the driveway in front of the Scorpio-Jones house. Georgie was watching Logan closely to make sure he was not tiring himself out with all this exertion. She wished Cooper would tell Logan not to help. The urge to do that very thing herself was strong but she didn't want to start off their trip by nagging either of them about it.

Brooklyn whispered "I can not believe you are letting Lulu ruin this for you."

"He loves her."

"Oh, please! No one could love that bitch."

"Shhhh."

"If I got him in my bed, I'd never let him out."

"Brooke, shhhhhh, he is going to hear you."

"Let him." She turned around and openly admired the hotness that was Logan and Coop lifting luggage into the SUV. "I can not wait to see his tattoos."

Georgie whispered "And how is that gonna happen?"

"He has to take off his shirt sometimes."

"Not around you."

"You so want him."

"Please. SHHHH!"

Cooper and Logan looked at them. Brooklyn starting giggling. Georgie blushed and waved. Just then a black SUV rolled down the street and Spinelli got out, dragging along a duffle bag and a computer bag. "Greetings, friends and associates! How are you on this fair day in this grand city?"

"What the hell?" Logan asked.

Georgie told Brooklyn "Oh no. I better get over there."

"Wait. If they fight, Logan might take off his shirt! Hold on!" Brooklyn joked and then busted out laughing when Georgie shot her a look that screamed: Shut up!

Georgie hurried over just in time to hear Spinelli saying "I heard of your heroic actions. I must say I was surprised as it is not in your nature to be so- "

Happily, Georgie cried "The Jackal!" and hugged him.

Logan fumed. "What were you saying man? Its not like me to- "

"Logan, this is Damian Spinelli."

"Yeah."

"Spinelli," Georgie went on "you heard that Logan lost his memory, right?"

"That is unfortunate but if it is supposed to garner sympathy- "

Georgie said "This would be a great time for you two men to shake and start over."

"Fair Georgie- "

"It would mean so much to me."

"Fine, The Jackal loves to see you content." He stuck out his hand.

Logan glared at him. It looked like he was one second away from knocking Spinelli upside the head.

Georgie motioned for Logan to go ahead. Then she did it again. Then she narrowed her eyes at him. Shaking his head, he finally shook Spinelli's hand. Then he walked away.

Logan called out to Coop "I ain't riding with you. You know I can't go three hours listening to what you call music."

Brooklyn spoke up "That leaves room for me in the SUV."

"What?" Georgie asked, her mouth dropping.

"More leg room!" Brooklyn hurried over and climbed into the backseat of Cooper's vehicle. Spinelli got in the other side.


	118. part 11

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Eleven**

**December 29, 2007, canon**

Maxie came outside. "Are we ready to go or what? Did the stoner show up?"

"Maxie! Please! You can't fight with him. Maybe Spinelli better ride with me."

Logan said "No way. Uh-uh. He rubs me the wrong way. Lets go. We're burning daylight."

Maxie said "Don't worry. I'll be nice as can be. For you. But otherwise I'd tell him just what I think of his Bad Blonde One nickname."

Georgie sighed, miserably. "Call me if you all start fighting. We can pull over to a rest stop and switch people around."

"You worry too much," Maxie said. "See you at the cabin."

"Okay." Georgie climbed into the car. "Its going to be a long weekend, Logan, so please remember that its important for you to get along with Spinelli."

"What is the deal with his mile a minute goofy talk?"

"He's gifted. It makes him unique."

"How long have you known him?"

"A year."

"This might be a stupid question but does he have a girlfriend?"

"Why would that be stupid?"

"He's beyond strange. You don't see it?"

"I see a really nice guy! Do not pick on him!"

"Why is he here? If Maxie don't like him."

"I like him."

"Great." Logan turned on the radio. An hour later they hit a detour, managed to lose sight of the SUV and get lost. The GPS told them to head east when they wanted to go north. "I don't trust this thing."

"My Dad swears by them."

"Yeah, well, I use maps. Lets pull over and buy one."

After getting a map they found their way back to the expressway and were once again headed in the right direction. "Okay, so you navigate and I'll drive."

"You got it, girl."

"How long till you take your medicine?"

"Please! I'm not a kid. I got it under control."

"I just don't want you to end up back in the hospital."

"I know," he said softly. "Its sweet of you to care so dang much but I got a Ma, I don't need another."

"I'm sorry."

"Why do you have to see me as someone to take care of instead of someone that could take care of you? Is it so different around here than in Texas that women don't even like being taken care of no more?"

"I can take care of myself. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like someone around who really cared and looked out for me. I'm trying to do that for you but you hate it. I can't stop though. Because if I do then we'll go back to how we used to be. I want to keep trying to be there for you so you know you have me in your corner."

"I don't want you in my corner. I want you in my bed."

Georgie eyes jerked away from the road and they started to go toward the center divider.

"Georgie! Pay attention."

Her eyes jerked back. She let out a breath. "Don't do that."

"I didn't mean to make us nearly crash."

"Don't say things like that. About wanting me."

"Why? Its true."

"You've wanted a lot of people in your bed before. And you got two people I know well there. I have no clue how many others. But I'm not like that. I don't hook up."

"Maybe you should. Maybe if we pulled over and hooked up right now you'd relax some and let yourself go for what you really want with me."

"A roadside hook up? I'd never do that! Don't even think it has a chance of happening because it doesn't."

"I wouldn't do that right now with you anyway."

"FINE!"

"Because you ain't someone I wanna hook up with. I've been hooking up since I was fifteen. Over in Iraq, I decided that when I came home...and met the right woman...I'd finally go for more. But its looking like the right woman won't have me."

"Lulu will take you back one day. She always does."

"I can't feel anything when I look at Lulu. When she kissed me, I felt nothing."

"What about Maxie?"

"Are you really going there right now?"

"If you don't want to answer me then don't."

"There's no need to say anything more than she's Coop's girl."

"That never stopped you before."

"I can't remember that, Georgie. I messed up and I know it but I don't know what I was thinking when I did it."

"I just want to know what you think now when you see her?"

"Your sister is a fun chick. But she's Coop's chick. I don't know why you won't hear me when I say I'm into you. Maybe because you want Spinelli but don't have the guts to say it aloud to my face."

"If you must know, yes, I used to want to date Spinelli but he isn't interested in me."

"Are you waiting around for him to change his mind?"

"Truthfully....I was doing that but then that night in the park happened. I was so scared and then you were there. I spent days by your bedside. We spent time together when you woke up. I forgot about everyone but you. But you belong with Lulu-"

"Kiss me, Georgie, and let me prove to you who I belong with."

She looked at him again. She jerked her eyes back to the road before they drifted off course. "You are determined to make us crash," she said, with a smile.

"If I wanted to risk a crash, I'd slide over there right now and kiss your neck."

He undid his seat belt. "You're a good driver, right?"

"Logan-" she breathed out.

"Keep your eyes straight ahead. Hands on the wheels, girl."

"You need to buckle up again."

He eased close to her. His nose nuzzled her neck. Her skin tingled. He whispered "You smell so damn good."

"Oh my..."

Logan grinned at her lust filled tone. "You want me, Georgie."

"I want to get to the cabin alive more."

"Me too. Because the cabin has beds." He licked at her ear.

"Oh," she let out a soft moan. Then she grew serious. "Stop this craziness."

He whispered, as he nibbled on her ear, "You taste so good."

"You're so reckless, Logan."

He kissed her neck. "I like you so much already. I think you the first woman I ever met..." he kissed her neck again "who makes great wife material."

Her mouth dropped. Logan slid back to his seat and put on his seat belt. He told her "Try to send me back to Lulu now. I dare you."

"You're crazy!"

"Crazy about you!"

"Don't use lines on me!"

"I meant that!"

The air grew thick. After a minute Georgie asked "Where are we? Did we miss our exit? You were supposed to be looking for the sign."

"I got distracted, darlin."

A few seconds went by and they both started chuckling. They found the sign they were looking for ten minutes later and took their exit.

Snow started to fall. Georgie slowed down. "I hope we can get up to the cabin. The roads might close if it snows too hard."

"Just drive slow. We ain't in a rush."

Georgie pulled over into a gas station. "Be right back."

"No way. You got to drive but I get to pay for the gas."

"Have it your way, big spender." She headed off to the bathroom. When she came back her face was slightly damp, as if she splashed water on it.

Logan chuckled. He was leaning against her door with his arms crossed over his chest.

She said "Excuse me, I'd like to get inside now. If you haven't noticed its cold out here."

He tugged her close to his body. She gasped but didn't move back. He said "There you go. Warmer now?"

She swallowed hard and whispered his name. "Logan-"

"Let me take you on a date, Georgie."

Her eyes filled with doubts.

He whispered "I think we got something here. I think you feel it too."

"Don't you see how much harder you're making it for both of us when you get your memory back? When you remember Lulu, it will hurt so bad."

"Just give me a little bit of trust. Take a chance on me. I've been dreaming about you since Iraq. I just didn't know the woman who was in those dreams was named Georgianna Jones. Now I do. I love every second that you are near me."

(It isn't your sweet conversation

that brings this sensation.

Oh, no.

Its just the nearness of you.) (Norah Jones)

She moved back from him. "Where are we?"

Logan was dazed. "What?"

Georgie looked around. "A Stop and Sip gas station. Remember that."

"Why?"

"Because of this." She brought her lips to his in a very sweet kiss and then stepped back.

Logan pulled her against him again and kissed her hungrily. Her arms went around his neck and she got caught up in the intense sexual chemistry that sparked between them.

(When you're in my arms and I feel you close to me

all my wildest dreams come true.

I need no soft lights

if you'll just grant me

the right to hold you ever so tight

and feel in the night

the nearness of you)

She gently pulled her mouth away, as his hands held her face, and a sweet smile graced her lips. "Lifelong friendship."

"We're gonna have to expand your definition of friendship, girl."

"Fair warning, I won't ever let you out of my life."

He nodded and kissed her again. She might not believe he'd love her all his life but she didn't know how much she made his heart swell.

She didn't know how much he already didn't want to ever let her out of his life again either.

They got back in the car and on the road. Georgie was smiling and blushing.

"Well its official, Logan. You are a bad influence on me," she joked "Talking me into a roadside hook up like that."

"You ain't never had a hook up if that's what you think it is."

Seriously she said "You're right, I haven't. I've only been with one guy. My ex-husband, Dillon."

"Okay."

She nibbled on her bottom lip.

Logan said, softly, "I hope you don't think that's a bad thing, darlin."

"I've been divorced for a year."

"Okay."

"So this weekend I don't think we should-"

"I get it. Its fine. I ain't looking to rush you. I want to take you out on dates."

She nodded and whispered "I'm sorry. I know you're not used to moving so slow."

"I just had the best kiss of my life. I ain't complaining about anything."

She smiled widely. "I am choosing to believe you even if I think there is a good chance that was a really good pick-up line."

"You're gonna have to learn that I don't use lines anymore....this means too much to me. I never knew any woman before who is as close to perfection as you. As close to who I could see myself happy with...if things went right."

"Lets make things go right."

"You said that like you mean it. Like you have faith in us."

"I just know what I want. I know how good that kiss was, Logan."

He grinned. "This is gonna break that poor geek's heart."

"I can not believe you just said that."

"What? He needs to know you ain't on the market. He missed his shot."

"He doesn't care. Spinelli is a friend."

"Good. Keep it that way."

"You're so irritating sometimes."

"Maybe. But it's the other times that are gonna keep you coming back around me."

She threw him a smile. "So true."

Logan slid closer to her, murmuring, "Girl, you are so hot...so hot.."

"Buckle up!"

He jerked away from her and then smiled. "Okay. But when this car stops again..."

"Turn on your country music and watch for the signs."

"So bossy."

"And keep me happy so you can be happy when the car stops again."

"Now you are talking my language, girl."


	119. part 12

**Never Desert You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Twelve**

**December 29, 2007, canon**

The cabin had four bedrooms. That left Coop and Maxie sharing one room, Brooklyn and Georgie sharing a room that had bunk beds, Spinelli with his own room, and Logan with his own room.

All evening, as they cooked dinner, ate, played cards and listened to music, Georgie and Logan would sneak looks at each other. But they didn't touch each other in any way or try to let on that they wanted each other in front of their friends.

It was after three am when they finally all ended up going to bed. Georgie spent some time in the bathroom, fixing her hair and make-up, and then came out into the bedroom.

Brooke said "You look great for going to sleep."

"Not a word."

"You are so about to hook up with Logan!"

"I just want to talk to him."

"Yeah right! What happened on the ride up here?"

"It was so amazing, Brooke! He swears he won't ever want Lulu again and even if I know that's probably just his wishful thinking at least, for right now, he doesn't want her. He wants me."

Brooke smiled. "I'm so proud of you for going for this."

Georgie laughed. "I'm sneaking over to a guy's room in the middle of the night and you're proud?"

"Damn straight I am. Need some condoms?"

"You brought some?"

"Never know when they might come in handy. Grab my purse."

"No. It's a better idea for me not to have any because then I won't go too far."

"Whatever you say. I'm going to bed. Have fun."

Georgie slipped out of the room. She prayed she remembered correctly what room had been assigned to Logan or else she'd have to make up some story for Maxie or Spinelli when they opened their door. She crept down the hall- telling herself she was not being way too forward- and then stopped in front of a door.

Her heart pounded out of control. She raised her hand to knock. The door opened and there stood Logan, about to come out.

She startled. He pulled her inside. She said "I just came to say good night."

"I was just about to try and find your room."

"You were?"

His lips crashed into hers. He picked her right off the ground. Her legs wrapped around his back. He pinned her between him and the door. Their kisses were hot and hungry. He moved from her mouth to kissing her neck.

She let out a moan.

Just then, as if someone heard them, a TV popped on and the volume was cranked up.

Georgie froze. "Logan...."

He sucked on her collarbone. She moaned again then said "Really...we better stop."

Letting out a long breath, he let her feet slide back to the ground. He rested his forehead against hers. "That was one hell of a good night kiss."

"I should go."

"Night, darlin." He stepped back and grinned.

She cupped his cheek with one hand and gave him a soft kiss. "Sleep tight."

XXXXXXXXXXX

**December 30, 2007, canon**

The next day they went skiing. Since Logan was not doctor approved for that activity and Georgie would have a fit if he went against Patrick's orders, he decided to hang around the lodge, watching a football game in the bar on the big screen.

After an hour on the slopes, Georgie came back. She sat down next to him, whispering, "I am so breaking the law. Don't tell on me."

He chuckled. "You're alright. What do you want to drink?"

"Diet Pepsi."

He ordered it.

She asked "What are you drinking?"

"I can't drink on this medication so its just orange juice, hold the vodka, this time."

"Good."

"You take looking out for me a little far. I don't want you watching me like a hawk for me to screw up."

"I just worry. Should I pretend I don't care at all if you live or die? That was never the case, even when I used to not like you."

The bartender gave Georgie her drink.

Logan said "Its good to care. But its not cool to treat me like I'm bound to fuck up."

"I don't think I'm going over the line. Haven't you ever had a woman really care about you before? Treat you like you matter and you're important and you need to be okay for her to be okay? That's all I'm trying to do."

He was silent for a long moment.

She drank her soda.

They watched the game in silence for five minutes.

He said "Wanna go back to the cabin while everyone else is distracted?"

"What took you so long to ask? Lets go."

Smiling he threw money on the bar, stood up and took her head. They headed out to the parking lot, left a note on Cooper's car about going site seeing, and then took Georgie's car back to the cabin.

When they got inside they peeled off their coats, scarfs, gloves and boots. Then things got awkward. After a moment of looking at each other, Logan gently tugged her close "You freaked me out earlier this week. I thought you weren't gonna agree to go on any dates with me and that really made me mad."

"Mad?"

"Yeah. Mad to think I knew just the right woman to be with but she didn't want me. So do you want me, Georgie?"

"Mmm-hmmm."

"What was that?" he joked while smiling.

"Yes," she whispered.

"I can't hear you."

"YES!" She laughed. "You drive me crazy! Go up to your room. Put on some music and try not to cause any trouble till I get there."

"Done." With a grin, Logan took off up the stairs.

Since she was still freezing from being outside in the cold- when she had been skiing -she took a quick, hot shower and then fixed her hair and make up. She ended up in his room twenty minutes later.

Logan joked "Did you get lost?"

"I was completely frozen so I took a hot shower to try and get warm." She shivered.

He pulled back the comforter. "Get in and I'll warm you up."

Shyly, she followed his request.

Logan lay down next to Georgie. They lay on their sides. He wrapped one arm over her, beneath the blanket. He kissed her forehead. "Better?"

"Much."

He kissed beneath her eyes, her cheeks, her nose. Soft, butterfly kisses. "I love how you trust me, Georgie. How you're here and you know you're safe."

"You saved my life. Why would you hurt me?"

"I won't hurt you. I won't mess this up. I'll be smart this time." He kissed her jaw, her neck, beneath her earlobe. He sucked on her pulse point and she whimpered lustfully.

His mouth covered hers. Her hands ran up and down his back. They kept kissing for long minutes, getting to know each other in this intimate way, until he finally pulled back. Breathlessly he whispered to her, while looking down at her, "When we make love, Georgie, its gonna be so good. I can already tell. We are so good together."

He kissed her again.

She broke their kiss and told him "You're making me so tempted right now."

Logan rolled over on his back and pulled her on top of him. They started to kiss some more. Now he ran his hands over her back, her ass, and her thighs. She moaned into his mouth.

He sucked on her bottom lip. She felt dizzy. It was never like this with Dillon. She was completely blown away by how good it felt to be kissing Logan. How emotional it was. How soul bearing. How intense. How heart pounding. How right. How real. How life changing.

Suddenly they heard a car door slam. Georgie jerked away from Logan. She asked "What was that?"

"The neighbors. Don't stop."

"Go check."

Sighing, he jumped up and went to look out the window."Oh, you got to be kidding me! Looks like they're back already, darlin."

"What?" Georgie bounded up in bed. "They had all day passes for the slopes."

"That Spinelli is limping. The freaking Jackal twisted his ankle."

She lay back down, sighing heavily. "I better get out of here."

Logan turned off the music. "I can not stand him. Seriously, he's dead to me."

Georgie climbed out of bed. She whispered, as she headed out of the room, "You might as well understand that if you are mean to my friends then my pants are staying on. Those are the rules."

She snuck into the hall and went to her own room. When Maxie came in Georgie pretended to have a headache, and that is why they came back early to the cabin instead of going site seeing.

"Yeah right, give it up," Maxie said "I know Logan is hot for you."

"You're with Cooper so you shouldn't worry about who Logan dates."

"I don't. I worry about you."

"I'm fine."

"You look a little feverish to me. Maybe I better call Mac and tell him you aren't feeling well," Maxie teased.

Georgie threw a pillow at her. Soon they were having a pillow fight. Maxie ended up on the floor, laughing and begging for mercy. She said "Logan will be so mad to know he missed seeing this!"

Georgie laughed. She lay on the bed with her arms folded beneath her head. "I know I never liked him before but I'm seeing different sides of him now."

"He's always been way complicated."

"I never took the time to see that. He just made me mad. There's no excuse for all he did before but I know he was suffering because of the war and maybe, just maybe, this time he will let me help him with those demons instead of striking out at the world."

Maxie stood up, fixed her clothes, and then said "I just want you happy. That's all. I almost lost you and that would just ruin my life. So, since you are here and healthy, I want you happy too. I want it all."

"Me too!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**December 31, 2007, canon**

The next morning Georgie was up before everyone else. She was drinking coffee and staring out the balcony doors off the kitchen. They had an amazing view from their cabin in the mountains.

Logan came downstairs. "Morning, darlin."

"Hi," she said, with smile. "There's coffee."

He walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and kissed her neck. "First some sugar."

She giggled.

He rested his chin on her shoulder and stared at the view with her. "Wow. Its beautiful with the sun rising, ain't it, girl?"

"What are you doing up so early?"

"I heard someone moving around and took a shot it was you. It paid off too. I've always been a light sleeper since boot camp. You get used to listening for sounds and staying alert."

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"I'm not. I missed you last night."

"I meant to come in your room but I fell asleep while I was talking to Brooklyn. I was pretty wiped out. Sorry."

"Its cool."

He hugged her tighter. She nuzzled her face against the side of his, lovingly, before saying "We should be quiet till everyone else get moving but do you want to make breakfast together once they are up?"

"Sure."

"Come on."

There was a finished basement in the cabin. It has a pool table, bar, big screen TV, couches and oversized leather chair and ottoman. Georgie took Logan by the hand and led him down there.

Sitting on the couch she whispered "You don't remember anything about me so I thought I'd fill you in, if you want?"

"Yeah, girl, I want to know whatever you want to tell me."

For the next few hours they got to know each other better in a whispered conversation about their pasts, their hopes and their dreams. By the time their friends woke up neither Georgie or Logan had any doubts....they were going to fall in love and they were going to be happy.

Because it felt right. He didn't need his memories back to know she was the one. Even if those memories always stayed lost Georgie was the woman who made his life complete. He had sworn to himself he would find someone like her one day and, when he did, he'd never let her go.

Before they went up stairs to cook breakfast, he gave Georgie a sweet kiss. "We're gonna start 2008 off right- together."

She smiled. "And we'll make it work and last."

"You want to make each other a promise about that right here and now?"

"I promise you, Logan, that I'll always work hard to keep us together and not take the easy way out and walk away."

"I promise you, Georgie, that I'll always apologize when I mess up and I'll always make sure you're the only one in my bed."

"Or your truck," she joked.

He chuckled.

She added "Or your heart."

He kissed her. "I promise."

And this time Logan Hayes word was gold.

**THE END**

Note- The title for this story comes from the song I'll Stand By You by The Pretenders. The storyline is a take off of my favorite AMC couple- Ryan Lavery and Kendall Hart, circa 2008. Ryan was grazed by a bullet and lost four years of memories.

Thank you for reading this Glo tale.

Sara


	120. Cradle to Grave, part one, Glo

Mainly Glo. Small 3M romance. Some Johnny and Brooklyn- Jab.

**Premise**- Scott Baldwin met Jacqueline Hayes through Felicia Jones. Jackie lives not far from Mariah's Texas ranch. Felicia and Jackie became best friends and Jackie came to Port Charles to visit Felicia. Jackie got pregnant with Logan.

For Logan's whole childhood he would spend summers in Port Charles with Scott. Georgie would spend Christmas and Spring Break on the ranch with Mariah.

Because of their moms, Logan and the Jones girls grew up together.

In present day, Logan is just about to come home from Iraq.

**Cradle to Grave **

**Part One**

**July, 1988 **

"She's so pretty, mama," Logan Hayes said as he stared down at the four month old baby.

"Isn't she, sugar plum? She's just precious."

"I love her!" Logan kissed her forehead.

Jackie, Felicia, and Mariah laughed.

"Who knows?" Mariah asked. "Maybe he'll marry her one day."

"Hush," Jackie said. "I'm too young to even be thinking about him walking down no aisle or giving me grandbabies. Besides, he's sweet on Maxie already and I know he ain't gonna be no heartbreaker with sisters fighting over him."

Just then four year old Maxie came walking into the room with a Popsicle that her and Logan started fighting over. She had his favorite flavor and he knew that was the last one in the house.

"MINE!" He lunged at her.

"Get off! Its mine! Mine!"

Felicia broke them apart, as they started wrestling. She picked Maxie off her feet. "I think their little crush is officially done for."

The kids were calling each other names, as Maxie stuck her tongue out at Logan.

Georgie wailed. Everyone looked at her. The fight was over.

She was a born peacemaker.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**September, 2006**

"Never ask me to drive cross country with you again, G," Brooke Ashton complained from the backseat. "I feel so dirty. I'm covered in snack food crumbs back here."

"No one told you to eat all that," Georgie said, shortly. She was definitely the mother hen on this trip. But no matter how hard she tried she could not keep the rest of them in line. Every time they stopped somewhere one of them would find some way to delay them- either by flirting with some stranger or just having to see some tourist trap, wandering off before Georgie could stop them, and or wanting to buy souvenirs. It hadn't turned into a real time crunch though till they hit horrible traffic and were stuck at a standstill for two hours. Now Georgie feared they would not even make it to Hollingsbrook in time.

Brooklyn begged "Can we please...please...please...stop for a pee break?"

Georgie just wasn't having it though. The car was jammed with Brooke, Maxie and Serena, plus all their stuff. They had been in the car together for two days already- with an overnight stay in a roadside motel the night before. They had left in the middle of the afternoon, when Georgie freaked out at the last second and decided she had to be in Texas to see Logan on the first day he was home.

She had previously decided that she needed to give him space and she had school to worry about anyway. But that went out the window and then she was on the phone begging her best friend and sister to come with so that Logan would feel really loved when he saw them all waiting there to greet him.

"If someone," Georgie snapped "didn't insist on sneaking off with Tyler-"

"Taylor," Maxie said

Serena giggled.

Georgie shot Maxie a dirty look. Maxie laughed and told her "Just saying his name was Taylor."

Georgie went on "Fine. Taylor. Glad you all remember him so well. If not for just having to climb that water tower with him-"

"You saw him," Brooke whined "What was I supposed to do? Say no?"

"Yes! Because we are on a schedule and now we have to drive straight through or else we won't be there in time and if we hit more traffic, I swear, Brooke-"

Serena interrupted Georgie "I'll protect you. I'm used to her temper when someone gets between her and my brother."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Georgie said, in a tone that tried to be casual.

Serena, Brooke and Maxie cracked up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The plane bumped down onto Texas soil and all the soldiers cheered wildly- Logan and Coop included. They had waited over a year to get back here and finally be able to breath again without worrying about it being their last breath.

Logan looked at Cooper. "You ready to stop being the property of good old Uncle Sam?"

"More than ready," Cooper answered. "What will you do first?"

"Kiss my ma's cheek and tell her that her boy ain't never leaving Texas again."

"You think its a good idea to lie to your Mom first thing like that?"

"What do you mean? I missed this Lonestar state like hell and I don't think I can bear to hang my hat no where else."

"You don't plan on checking in on your friends up north? You sure did spend enough time mooning over those letters from them."

"Shut the hell up," Logan said with a smile. "I ain't never mooned over shit. And, yeah, maybe I'll get on up that way sometime but I ain't in no rush."

"Sure."

"You know she went and got hitched, man. What are you trying to do? Kill my buzz already. Don't bring me down. I just got my ass back home."

"All I'm saying is I don't think you can stay away."

After a moment, Logan said "Yeah, you're probably right. Now that you mention it, I do think it'd do me a world of good to just lay eyes on them again. You feel like a road trip?"

Coop smiled. "You lasted about two minutes. Longer than I figured you'd make it."

"It might be nice to see those girls again. Just for a short visit. I ain't looking to freeze my ass off in damn near Canada. My Pops can come see me down here. And my sisters love the farm."

The other soldiers were grabbing their duffle bags and getting off the plane. Coop stood up. "Welcome home, Hayes."

"Its fucking great to be home, Barrett." When they got off the plane Logan kissed the ground. Nobody else did. But nobody else was as passionate and as emotional as he was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie sped up the dirt road. Maxie grabbed the passenger door. "Oh my God! You told Mac you wouldn't speed."

"I'm sorry!" Georgie cried but didn't slow down.

She never liked to break the law or the rules but this was an absolute emergency.

Serena looked at Brooklyn, as they bumped around the back seat, "It was nice knowing you. I'd like to be buried in...oh what am I telling you for? You'll be just as dead as me."

Brooklyn said "G, really! I'm going to pee my pants if you keep hitting all these bumps at this speed. You're killing me back here."

Georgie breathed out, in relief, "Jackie is still here," as she slowed down. "There's her van."

Serena crossed herself. "Thank you, Jesus! Get me out of this backseat. I can't take anymore of being cramped in here. I don't know about you three but I'm riding to the base with Logan's mom."

As soon as Georgie stopped in front of the farm house, they all jumped out. Jackie came out the front door. "There you girls are! Oh my heavens, I just about left without y'all. Why didn't you call?"

Georgie hugged her. "Sorry! No cell service. We're ready to go though."

"Not me!" Brooklyn cried. "Hello, Ms. Hayes, good to see you again...its been forever, right? Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure, sugar, go on in. Right up the stairs. First door on the left. But hurry. We got to scoot."

Brooklyn ran into the house.

Maxie hugged Jackie. "Hi! The ride here was hell. Don't ask! Mac sends his love."

Jackie said "Child, you're getting too skinny! I'm making you fried chicken for dinner tonight. Its Lo's favorite. But y'all know that."

Serena said "Dad wanted to be here but he's in the middle of a trial."

"That's all right. Lo will be thrilled as a pig in slop to see you all made the effort to come see him."

Maxie and Serena looked at Georgie. Maxie said "It was sort of a last minute decision."

Serena said "Or else we would have flown. But you know how it goes....you just decide you can't let this chance pass you by. Besides I missed him like crazy. Didn't you, Max?"

"Like crazy!"

Jackie asked "What about you, Georgie girl? You miss my boy like crazy too?"

Tearfully she said "I was just worried for him. It wasn't about what I felt...more about just what he must be going through."

Brooklyn ran back outside. "Okay, I totally did that in record time. Lets go bring your guy home, Georgie."

Georgie blushed.

Jackie said to her "You know he always did have a sweet spot for ya. He was pretty devastated when he heard you up and married that grandson of a tycoon like you did."

"I'm sure my Mom told you by now but I'm divorced. It just happened but its final."

"Just eighteen. You poor thing. I'm so sorry that he did you wrong." Jackie shook her head, sadly. "Well enough about that, lets get on the road. Those boys deserve to see all smiling faces when we get there."


	121. Cradle to Grave, part two

Cradle to Grave

Part Two

September 2006

"Baby boy!" Jackie rushed through the crowd of soldiers and hugged her son.

He hugged her tightly. Tearfully he said "Ma."

She pulled back and slapped his arm. "Never do that again! Run off and join the dang army! You almost made my poor ticker give out."

Sheepishly he said "Sorry about that, Ma. I'm done with all that now. Cross my heart." He looked next to him, at Cooper. "Ma, I'd like you to be my closest buddy in the whole damn...darn...world, Cooper Barrett."

"Hello, ma'am."

"Good to meet you! I've heard so many stories about you. Anytime you're around these parts, visiting or passing through, you stay with me, you hear me? I'll be right offended if I hear you ever pay for a hotel when you could be at home."

"I'll remember that, ma'am."

Jackie looked at Logan again. "Well we're having a little party for you back at the farm tonight but there were a couple of guests who just couldn't wait till then. Come on. They're out by the van....oh and I let one of them drive your truck."

"Did she survive?"

"Not a scratch on her."

"So who came down here?" He named a few friends from school.

"Nah, more like family," Jackie said. "You'll see."

Logan told Cooper. "Looks like you're about to meet my Pops. His bark is a lot worse than his bite. Don't let him get to you if he starts giving you the third degree. He don't know how to turn that lawyer sh...stuff...off. But he's a good guy deep down under the annoying parts. You'll like him."

Cooper nodded. In truth, Cooper would make nice with anyone on earth for the sake of Logan being happy. Especially right now at this fragile time when they were just getting home. Both their heads were still filled with war, fear, grief and pain. So anything that was family, love and home sounded like Heaven on earth- and Logan's family was now Cooper's family.

They pushed open the door, making their way through the crowd, as Jackie said "Sorry, baby boy, but your Pa is in court this week. I'm sure he'll be down as soon as he can get away."

Logan squinted against the sunlight, as he scanned the parking lot. He followed his mother towards the back row and finally spotted her van. Parked a little ways down was his truck and in front of it stood four girls.

His heart started thudding hard in his chest. His breath stilled in his lungs.

It was good to see his sister, Serena, and his oldest friend- the first friend he ever made- Maxie. It was even nice to see Brooklyn, who he didn't know half as well as the others.

But it was amazing to see Georgie.

She had a crush on him since she was able to speak baby sentences. He always had a sweet spot for her but she was too young to crush on back. When he was eight, she was just three. When he was fifteen and sneaking into hay lofts for the first time, she was only ten.

But then she turned sixteen, when he was twenty one. And she changed from a little girl in his eyes to just about a woman. Still she was too young and too precious to touch though. He started counting the days till she would be eighteen and wondering if that made him a pervert.

When he went off to war, she sent a letter saying that her first boyfriend had turned into her husband.

He still had that letter and the tear stains on it proved he didn't take the news all that hot.

Now she stood before him, biting her bottom lip like she did when she was worried, dressed in a jeans and t-shirt he bought her at a county fair....not looking nearly as hot as her friends who all wore tighter clothes and flashier make-up...and yet looking a million times more beautiful in his eyes.

Logan realized he had stopped walking. Everyone was completely silently.

Finally he said "Hey, sweetheart," and there was no doubt who he was talking to because he had only kissed Georgie on the day he left for Iraq, not Maxie and not Brooklyn. Though they were sexy girls, they just weren't his girl.

Logan hadn't cared that Georgie was just seventeen then and that she had a boyfriend. He needed that one kiss. Because he could die and he didn't want to die without knowing what her kiss felt like.

Georgie stood there frozen.

Logan asked "You gonna come over here and give me a proper hello?"

She ran toward him. He lifted her off her feet, hugging her, as she broke into tears and said his name. "Logan."

"Georgie," he whispered "What are you doing all the way down here when you should be in school?"

"I hope its okay I came."

"If your hubby don't mind, I don't mind."

He set her down. and looked at her. My God, he had been dreaming of this face for months and months. That war wiped away any doubts he had about them. There were no longer fantasies of different women in his mind. There was just her....someone else's wife. And that's why he had said he wasn't planning to go to New York anytime soon. That he didn't want to look at her with a gold ring on her finger that was given to her by some rich boy who had never even been to Mariah's ranch. But Cooper had known Logan was just lying to himself when he said he wasn't running first thing to see Georgie.

That lie hadn't lasted but a minute once it left his lips. Because he needed this. To hug her and look into her brown eyes. Eyes that were tear filled now. She was practically sobbing.

He pulled her close again. "Hey, now, its okay."

She hugged him, resting her head against his heart. "I'm sorry for crying. I'm just glad you're back."

Jackie said "I know just how you feel, Georgie girl. This baby boy of mine almost sent me to the crazy farm over worrying about him."

XXXXXXXXX

The smell of him. The feel of those muscular arms. The sight of him. Those eyes that she'd been dreaming about since she could remember her dreams. It was all just too much and she broke down.

Georgie didn't care if everyone was staring at them. She just clung to Logan till he finally eased her away. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he tucked her against his side. He used his thumb to wipe away some of her tears and then said "I wanna introduce you to somebody....he saved my ass over there." Once he had introduced her to Cooper and they both said hello, Logan looked down the row of cars and his eyes connected with Maxie, who was smirking at him. "Hey, girl, you can come on over here any time now. You know I don't bite."

She gave him a look that clearly said she would have a comment about that if Jackie wasn't around.

Logan was even closer to Maxie than his own sister, and he loved Serena dearly, but Maxie was Maxie. She was the person he knew best in the world. Georgie used to be so jealous of that but he hadn't kissed Maxie in years now. He kissed Georgie on the day he left home. He made it a point to see her last and cried as he said good bye.

Maxie, Brooklyn and Serena walked closer. They all said hello to Cooper and told Logan how happy they were to have him back. He asked Serena about Scott, Lucy and Tina. Finally it was time to head back to the farm.

Logan said "I'll drive my truck. I've been missing her something fierce." He looked at Coop. "Do you mind hitching a ride with my Ma?"

"That's fine."

"Cool," Logan said. "So who has my keys?"

Georgie moved away from him, hating the loss of feeling his warm body pressed to her side, as she said "They're in my purse."

"Lets go then. See y'all at home."

She couldn't be happier when he grabbed her hand and led her down to his truck. She gave him the keys and he unlocked the door. Looking down the aisle they watched as everyone piled in the van and then the van pulled away.

Georgie looked at Logan. She whispered "You're home."

"Told you I'd come back."

"For once you being stubborn really paid off. I guess you didn't want to be proven wrong."

They stared at each other for a long moment. He finally said "I didn't expect you to show up today."

"Me either."

"This wasn't your plan from the day I left then?"

"No. Just for the last couple of days. Not that I didn't always want to see you step off that plane and be safe...I always did, Lo,....but I figured you'd have your family here to welcome you back and I'd have my life there...and then a couple of days ago I just thought...Well, I'm family too! I should be there...and Maxie and Serena and Brooke agreed...so here we are. They came for me though so....its really my fault if you didn't want us all here."

"Does it look like I'm complaining any?"

"I just don't want to make you feel like, as usual, this is me begging you for more."

"I always thought that was the cutest thing ever."

She blushed. "Well I'm not that little girl anymore."

He looked her up and down. "Nah. Not anymore. I can't believe I missed that birthday. I was looking so forward to it too."

Her blush deepened. "Don't tease me." She smiled. "I know you've always been so nice about my crush on you but seriously....don't feel like you have to keep that up. I know I pestered you half to death our whole lives and you always wanted me to stop. Well, I'm not a kid anymore so I can finally stop behaving like one. I just want to be a....woman in your eyes finally. So treat me like that, please. And know that I get you're not mine and you never were and that you've always liked keeping your options open. And that's fine with me now."

"You've got your head filled with the idea that I've been with a boat load of chicks, don't ya?"

"You might not be keeping track but I always did. And I'm sure I don't know the half of it. But that's okay. Its not anything I'm mad about...anymore. See? No screaming at you. I'm mature now."

He chuckled. "Good to know, darlin."

She smiled sweetly. "One more time."

"Darlin."

"Another one."

"Sweetheart."

"More."

He chuckled. She laughed. Georgie said "Sorry! You know me. I'm just not sane when it comes to you. Lets go....your Mom is going to be waiting on us."

Logan asked her "Can you tell me something first?"

"Okay. What?"

"Your hubby ain't mad you're here?"

After a long moment she said "I don't have a husband anymore."

He stilled. "What's that?"

"The divorce was final this week."

"What the hell did he do?"

"Lo."

"Tell me."

"Can we just go to your Mom's now? We can talk about Dillon later."

Logan pulled her into a hug. "Are you okay?"

"I will be."

"You didn't say anything in your letters about you two fighting."

"It happened suddenly."

"I'm so sorry, sweet girl. I know it ain't easy to go through all that." Pulling back, he looked into her eyes. "You know I'm going to knock him out first chance I get, right?"

"You need to stay in Texas till your temper cools."

"Ain't happening. Me and Coop already got a road trip planned. When you heading home? Maybe we can all go together."

"I need to get back right away for my classes. You should spend some time here with your Mom. She missed you."

"Yeah, I know she did, but us driving cross country could be a hell of a good time."

"I think Maxie and Serena had such a bad time with me on the way here that they're going to fly back home rather than go through that again. I put Brooke through hell too but you know she'll never desert me."

"What was the reason it sucked so bad?"

"We left a little late and had to really rush. I thought you might beat us here."

"I'm glad you rushed. But don't be rushing home. Drive careful. In fact, I think I'll drive you or at least follow you, make sure you get there all right."

"Remember, I'm all grown up now. I don't want or need you to treat me like a kid. Stay here and be with your Mom. That's an order."

"I just got done taking orders. I'm not in the mood for more, Georgie."

She stared him down.

Logan sighed. "This your way of saying don't bother to come up to visit anytime soon? Just stay down here in the bars, like you always think I am, and with all those chicks you're keeping count of."

Georgie gave him a very determined look. "No fighting on your first day back."

Logan's insecure eyes held hers.

She said "If you want to come visit, of course I would love that. I'm here, right?"

He nodded.

She added "Then there is your answer."

Georgie climbed in the truck. Logan closed her door, walked around and got in. He started it up. "I missed that sound." He rubbed the dashboard. "Hey, baby, I made it back to you. You miss me? Were you a good girl while I was away?"

Georgie gave him a long look. "Are you done? Or should I leave and give you two some privacy?"

He grinned at her. She giggled. Then they headed for the farm.


	122. Cradle to Grave, part three

Cradle to Grave

Part Three

September 2006

As Logan drove his truck down the highway, with country music blaring, Georgie stared at him. He was such a handsome sight in his uniform. Her first crush-the man she ached over so many times- had went off to war, scaring her half to death, and now he had made it back.

God. It was a really good day.

Even if she was heartbroken over Dillon, it was still a good day, in a good life, with this good man next to her. He knew she had a crush on him her whole life and now he knew that she was finally willing to set him free.

Before she had always acted like how dare he have a girlfriend. So what if she was twelve and he was seventeen? What a cheater!

He just laughed and kissed her forehead back then, like he had been doing all her life, until one day when she was sixteen and wearing a bikini in front of him at the lake by his house. That day he saw her different. She thought she would get the first kiss of her life that meant anything at all...not one from her cousin Lucas or from some boy at a middle school dance....but a kiss from Logan, the only boy who mattered in the whole world in her mind.

But he didn't. He was twenty one and he had a lover. He didn't call them girlfriends. She wouldn't use the word "fuck buddy" aloud. He could piss Georgie off like no one's business.

She flew back to Port Charles and soon she was making out every afternoon with Dillon. Their marriage had been a desperate act when he was near death and it never felt real to her. They didn't live together and they didn't act like husband and wife. But she still had loved him, in a special way that would always mean something to her, and it hurt to know he had cheated on her with Lulu.

That hurt made Georgie, the sweet and innocent girl, morph into a woman with layers and an emotional maturity that was hard earned. It had been a trial by fire these last few months. Having lived through that she could now see that life would not always be what she wanted or expected.

Logan might never love her back, even if she loved him all her life and would have picked him over anyone else. So it was finally time to let him off the hook. They were grown ups. She had to show him that she was a woman who wouldn't scream, pout or throw things at his head when he pissed her off by screwing anyone who was willing.

He had never belonged to her as anything more than a very close friend and a psudeo family member. She was grateful to have him as that. Even if every look and every touch and every moment they shared made her want his kisses....that had always happened. It was nothing new.

He gave her one perfect kiss right before he left for Iraq. His way to show that he really did love her and to give her what he could. It was practically a pity kiss because he knew she was frantic about him leaving.

He had never been in love with her like she had always been in love with him. So that one perfect kiss they shared....that would have to do for this lifetime.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie came across the country for him. It stunned him.

Maybe, he shouldn't be all that surprised though since she had been working a major crush on him since she was in diapers. Practically her first words, after Dada, had been "BOY!" and that word meant _Where is Logan and when is he coming back? Why isn't he here right now?_ and when he was there, then that word meant _I like you so much! You're my favorite._

Not even two years old and she was loud and crazy over him. By three, she was clinging to his pants legs. By eight, she was flinging water balloons at him and arguing about why girls couldn't go in his fort. And by twelve she was doodling Georgie Hayes everywhere and giving him dirty looks when he kissed someone else in front of her.

He never thought they would get together, till she was sixteen and she was suddenly all filled out and amazing looking. And then he started to feel like a real pervert. Good God, he had been watching out for her all her life and now he was marking days off the calendar till she was legal.

Before she even hit eighteen, while he was off fighting for their country, she became Mrs. Dillon Quatermaine.

And that is why Logan hadn't dared dream she'd be waiting for him when he got home. But she was. She was there in the parking lot with tears in her eyes and then she was in his arms and then he was whole.

His feelings for her had snuck up on him. He had thought all that lust was just lust-and a good dose of adoration thrown in. It was so much more than that though. Yeah, he lusted after her and yeah, he adored her. But it was beyond that now. He dreamed about her every day while he was oversees. Till he thought he was gonna die seeing her face and he knew that if he did live he really wanted to marry that woman some day.

He couldn't imagine kissing anyone else but her ever again.

He was that far gone. It was Georgie or no one. She was in a league of her own in his mind now. And she was no longer married.

What a great day to come home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So what's the first thing you want to do now that you're home?" Georgie asked, after turning down the radio.

"Well, we were stationed in North Carolina for a few weeks and while we were at the base I checked off a lot of things I wanted to do when I got back on American soil. Like drink a beer, since they didn't let us have any over there. Eat a piece of apple pie, not as good as my Ma but it was good all the same. Go to McDonalds. I missed those fries like you wouldn't believe. Coop wanted pizza. I wanted those fries."

"Anything you want that you can only get in Texas?"

"Sure thing. Like bar-be-cue. We should go get some before you head out. Your friend Brooklyn don't know anything about how we do bar-be-cue down here, does she? We can't let her go home without tasting some."

"Maybe tomorrow for lunch and then we'll head back."

"You got to go back that soon, huh?"

"I'm missing my classes and my GPA needs to stay up for my scholarship."

"As long as you ain't running off because Maxie is missing some boyfriend she got hooked up with this month. Who is she torturing the life out of now?"

Georgie chuckled. "Be nice."

"It ain't easy to be her man. I should know."

When Georgie was fourteen, Maxie was eighteen and she dated a nineteen year old Logan.

"Don't remind me. You two worked my last nerve that summer and not just cause I was jealous. Thank God you decided to go back to being just friends before somebody got arrested."

"That scratch she put in my truck was so evil of her."

"You were no angel either."

He chuckled. "Ancient history."

"She really missed you, too. And so did Serena."

"I got their letters. Thank you for writing me, too, sweetheart."

"I think writing you every day was probably a little much."

"Nah. It was just perfect. But you should have mentioned things were going south with Dillon."

"Like I said, it happened fast. You were coming home before I even knew that I was about to be an ex-wife."

"How can a marriage end on a dime?"

"Please, not now, okay?"

"I just have the feeling when I hear about what happened I'm gonna wanna start punching that guy and never stop."

"Then you shouldn't go near him till you can control that urge."

"How mad are you gonna be if I put him in the hospital?"

"Logan! Pretty mad. So don't do it."

He let out a frustrated breath. "Just know that whatever he pulled on you don't mean nothing about who you are...if he made you feel like you're not good enough in some way....well he's an ass and he just don't know how bad he just fucked up."

"Its for the best."

"How do you figure?"

"Because I need to look at it that way. I need to believe it all worked out the way it should."

She turned up the radio, to stop their conversation, and they listened to Garth Brooks sing:

_They said she just went crazy, screaming out his name. She went down to the shore line and till this day they claim that if go down by the water you'll see her footprints in the sand. Cause every night she walks the beaches of Cheyenne._

Someone cut them off and Logan started cursing like a mad man until Georgie was yelling at him to calm down. "What's the matter with you?"

He always had that Baldwin temper but never did he flip out that dramatically that quickly over something so small.

He was practically panting. "I just got home and I don't feel like dying in a wreck on the freeway."

"Every day for months I prayed you would survive...boot camp and then the war....and you did. You survived, Lo. I know its going to stick with you forever but its over....its over....and I don't want to see you ruin the rest of your life because of what happened over there. So if you need help, ask for it."

"Don't pull this on me, Georgie. I don't need a shrink. That ass cut me off. You know I've always had road rage."

"Not like that."

"I'm good!"

"You're lying to me!"

He glanced at her. Quietly he said "Just give me time."

"You can always talk to me. I'll always be your friend, okay?"

"I'm not messed up, girl!"

"Lo."

After a moment he said "It was real bad over there."

"I can only imagine how bad."

"Don't even try to imagine. I don't want you to ever have any idea of what that place is like."

"I want to know. I want to listen to every story you want to tell."

"I don't plan to spend my days rehashing that shit." He tried to smiled. "Can't you think of a lot more fun stuff for us to do? I know it must have Mac worried out of his head that you're legal now and I'm home."

"I think he resigned himself to me caring about you years ago. I'm pretty sure that when I was thirteen and I wouldn't get my braces put on till after you had went back home after summer vacation that my Dad knew he'd never win another argument about you with me. Besides, I'm an adult now so my Dad can't decide who I hang out with anymore. And, being an adult, also means I'm past my school girl crush on you."

"Your marriage get you past it?"

"I just know its time to move on."

"Just like that?'

"Its time."

"Well, ain't that gonna be a switch, darlin?"

All their lives she had acted like he belonged to her. Even if she tried to play it off after she started dating Dillon-saying she was getting past Logan. Her and Logan knew better because of all she said and did when she was around him.

Georgie told him "I'm sure its a relief for you. We can finally be friends without all the tension."

"Oh, yeah, a real relief."

"Logan, I know it was a big ego boost for you but you hardly need me to be drooling over you to know you're very attractive to the opposite sex. I was always just one of many who chased after you. But I was also your friend. Isn't it nice to be grown up about all this?"

"Its just kinda odd that you've outgrown me but you're still driving two days to get to me."

"I didn't say I completely outgrew you. Why are you pushing this issue? This is what you've wanted all your life. Me past my crush. Well, I finally see its about time I get past it. Its not like I don't still care about you. I've never known a day in my life when I didn't care. I'm just not a little girl living in a dream world about us anymore. I'm sorry if you got so used to my crush that you want me to keep it for life just so you know someone adores you like that."

"I did get real used to it."

"I'm not a kid anymore and you need to see that."

"Okay. I got it. You're grown and the days of crushing on me are over. I guess it will take a minute to get used to this woman you've become while I was away."

With her voice breaking she said "I'm different. I hope you like me the way I am now."

"Georgie-"

"You're right. A divorce is not an easy thing to get through. It changed me."

"I'm changed too."

"Will you please tell me how....if not today then one day. You know I can't stand when you keep secrets."

"Maybe one day."

"Okay. Well even if you're different and I'm different, don't think I'm letting you completely off the hook, Logan. I'm not. I never will. I'll always need you to be my friend....just like you are with Maxie."

He finally pulled up to the farm house. He turned off his truck. Tears came to his eyes as he stared at his childhood home. Georgie scooted close to him.

"You kept your word," she whispered. "You came back to us."

There were lots of cars around and people milling about. Logan knew soon he would be swarmed with people wanting his attention. He turned and looked at Georgie "You're spending the night here, right?"

She nodded.

He asked "You wanna go look for our star later?"

When she was eleven she bought a star for him for his sixteenth birthday. "Okay. What time?"

"Meet me back here at my truck at ten. I know we're both gonna be exhausted after all day traveling but I can stay up for a little bit if you can."

"I'll be here."

Logan gave her a grin. There was a knock on his window and he was forced to turn away and start talking to an old high school friend. Georgie went inside to find Maxie, Serena and Brooklyn. As much as she said about being ready to get over all her feelings for Logan, she was now counting the moments till they were staring up at their star together.


	123. Cradle to Grave, part four

Cradle to Grave

Part Four

September 2006

Maxie busted out laughing at the sight of Cooper puffing into an air mattress, as he stood out by Logan's truck. They were at Logan's mother farm house on the first day Logan and Cooper were back in Texas after the war.

She asked him "How's that going?"

He took it down from his mouth. The mattress had barely no air in it. "Not so great. This is gonna take hours."

"You ever think about using the electric pump in the garage?"

"I didn't know there was one. That might have been good to learn before I started out with this."

"Come on. I'll help you track it down." She led him toward the garage, which was detached from the house. A party for Logan was going on around them. "So, he suckered you into getting his truck ready to go star gazing with my sister, huh?"

"That's what he's doing? He didn't say. He just threw me this mattress and asked me to get it blown up for him."

"Yeah, that's what he's up to. Star gazing at this star Georgie bought him years ago. Its one of their many things that no one else is allowed to intrude on. Logan really shouldn't put you to work like this though. He's always been such a lazy ass." She smiled easily.

"I don't mind helping out."

Maxie opened the side door on the garage and they went inside. "So, every letter he sent me had your name in it. You two really got tight, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Elaborate."

"It was rough over there and it was good to find a buddy to watch your back."

"Hmmm. I think there's more to it. Some awesome story that you two are holding back on me. Don't think I won't get it out of you eventually." Maxie made Cooper move boxes until they found one with camping stuff and got the pump out. "So where do you live? Texas?"

"I'm from Virginia but I don't think I'll be moving back there any time soon. I just might stick it out here in Texas for a while."

She took the pump and plugged it into an outlet. "What does your wife think about that?"

"Wife? Did Logan tell you I'm married?"

"Every time I asked I just got back an answer like," Maxie mocked Logan's voice "It ain't none of your concern, darlin."

Cooper chuckled. "Well, I'm not married or involved with anyone."

"That's freaking impossible to believe." Her eyes moved up and down his body, telling him she liked what she saw.

"Believe it." He lifted up the inflated mattress. "Okay, all done."

Maxie moved closer to him. "You know....I visit Texas all the time. All...the...time."

"Do you really?"

"And there isn't a women in this state who's more exciting than I am."

"I could believe that."

She gave him a sexy smirk. "Believe it."

With that she turned and left the garage.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Serena walked into the kitchen and spotted Logan. He was staring at these pictures of himself that his mom had on the fridge. He seemed lost in thought.

She hadn't gotten any time alone with her brother because of all the people around who wanted his attention. His mother had invited half of Hollingsbrook to this welcome home party.

"Hey," she said, softly, as she walked close to him.

His eyes jerked to the side. The pensive expression drifted away as a grin tugged at his lips. "How you doing, sis?"

Serena walked over and hugged him. "I feel a lot saner now that you're home again."

He held her for a moment. "Good."

Logan moved back and said "I heard the car ride down here was kinda hellish."

She smirked. "It sucked ass but I wouldn't trade it for anything. You should have seen her..."

He chuckled. "Oh yeah?"

"That crazed look she gets over you. I really thought she was gonna leave Brooke at this water tower in Oklahoma just because she was making out with some stranger when Georgie's schedule said we were supposed to be in Lubbock already. And then this morning...ask me what time she made us leave the motel? Four! We could have left at seven and made it here in time. But then things did slow us down, like Brooke's hottie and Maxie sneaking across the road to a shoe outlet when Georgie was paying for gas, so I guess...she was probably right...it was a good thing we left at four. We barely made it in time as it was."

"I'm glad you girls did make it."

"Dad really wanted to be here."

"Its cool."

"I'm serious. I know he watched the news every night praying you weren't on it and he jumped every time there was a knock on the door."

"I believe you."

"He's just stuck in the middle of a trial right now. Or else he would be here. I know he would."

"Serena, I'm over all that shit, okay? I'm not blaming him for being a part-time Dad anymore. I know he does the best he can and I know...I get that the old guy loves me."

She smiled. "So when are you coming up north to see us again?"

"Soon. Real soon."

"Can't stay away from her too long, right? Especially now that Dillon isn't her man anymore."

"What happened with that?"

"Georgie should tell you, not me. I'm not getting in between you two. I learned my lessons years ago when I told her you'd never see her that way. I don't think she said a word to me for about four months after that."

He chuckled. "She was what? Nine? Ten? I don't think you can hold that against her still. It ain't like she's still half crazy over me anyway."

"No. She's not half crazy about you at all."

"She's heartbroken now. I could strangle the life out of that rich asshole she married."

"She's hurt, yes. But she's completely crazy about you still. Just like she's been since she could talk. Boy! Boy! Boy!" She mocked the way Georgie, as a toddler, used to cry for Logan. It was a story that lived in infamy in their families. "Max and I couldn't even watch cartoons for all her yapping about you. And then when she could learn to say more words....hell, forget about it. It was all 'Logan, play house with me.' 'Logan play doctor with me' And when you wouldn't she'd be filling up those water balloons to fling at you or driving her hot wheel right into you or flinging freebees at your head."

He laughed. "Okay, I was there. You don't need to relive it for me. But that was years ago now. Like she spent half the ride here telling me....she's not a little girl no more."

"Nope."

"Nope."

"So.....you better think twice before you mess with her now."

"You think its a bad idea, huh? Think I'll only hurt her?"

"I just think its serious. And, as everyone who knows you know, you've never bothered with serious before in your life. I love Georgie like a sister so....you should just treat her like a sister, Logan, unless you can treat her right."

He looked down. Just then Cooper and Maxie walked into the back door, laughing and flirting with each other.

Logan rolled his eyes. He glared at Maxie, playfully. "What did I tell you about this?"

She joked back "Leave me alone. I'm pissed at you."

"Is my truck safe? Where are your keys?"

She laughed and then flung herself into his arms, since she hadn't gotten the chance to yet. "You're home!"

Closing his eyes, he nuzzled her neck. "God, girl, I've been dreaming about these hugs."

She smiled and pushed him away. "Lies. All lies!" She laughed. "Everyone knows what Jones girl you dream about now."

Logan smirked and shook his head. "Shh. Can't man have any secrets around here?"

Maxie looked at Serena and Serena said "Nope."

"No," Maxie said.

Cooper said "I don't think so."

Logan chuckled and left the kitchen. "I'm getting away from y'all before you get started a bunch of rumors."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

At a few minutes before ten Logan came walking over to his truck to find Georgie sitting on the back of it, her feet dangling in the air. He sat next to her.

"Tired?"

"I'm okay, Lo. What about you?"

"I'm good."

Her eyes flicked over him, taking in his appearance. "You changed clothes finally."

He now wore jeans, cowboy boots, a silver belt buckle, and a black t-shirt. "If I don't ever put on that uniform again, I'll be happy."

"And I'll be happy."

He grinned slightly. "I know nobody was all that thrilled about me joining up but it kept my ass out of prison."

"Well that shouldn't have been an option either. Now that you're home, though, I can finally just feel proud of what you did by serving this country...and stop worrying it was going to cost you your life. I know your parents and sisters and Maxie worried about the same thing. You did a great thing for this country but it was hard on us back here and I know it had to be hard on you over there."

"Its done, sweetheart. Lets just squash that subject, okay? Because I'm so sick of talking and thinking and remembering the war. Especially when I could be looking up at our star. So you ready to go?"

She nodded. They got in his truck and drove out to the lake that was on the far edge of the property. Then they crawled into the bed of the truck, onto the air mattress with a sheet over it that Cooper had set up in there. Logan sat with his back against the cab of the truck. Georgie lay on her back and looked up at the stars, with her arms crossed behind her head.

Logan looked down at her. So absolutely gorgeous. His reckless nature came barreling to the surface when he asked "You comfy?"

"Sure."

The exact position she was in was the same one she had been in countless times when he took her out to look at their star. When she was young he did it just to be nice and when she was older he did it just to get time alone with her.

Now he wasn't that same man he was before Iraq though. He was lonelier. Cold down to his bones. Breaking apart beneath the surface. And so he needed her more than ever.

Logan asked Georgie "How about you move over here instead?" He patted the space between his bent legs, then watched as she swallowed hard.

Never before had he asked to hold her.

Up until she was sixteen it was his goal- and everyone else's- to convince her to get over her crush. And after that it was Logan's goal to not get arrested for messing around with jail bait.

Plus he didn't want to use Georgie that way. He didn't want her first time to be just because he was turned on as hell around her. Not to ruin all they had in their life long friendship by showing her just how low down and dirty he could be if properly heated up over a chick.

It took going to the war for him to see that he wanted a lot more than sex from this woman. And, right in this moment, he really ached to hold her close.

Georgie slowly sat up. Her breathing got shallow. Logan thought about telling her to forget it. Just making a joke. Teasing her that he had been testing to see if her crush was really as over as she believed.

But he didn't. Because she was scooting closer to him and he couldn't think straight anymore. He wouldn't stop her. He just didn't have it in him.

When she was between his legs, sitting straight up, he wrapped an arm around her waist and eased her back against his chest. Her eyes drifted close.

The only sound in the air was their breathing.


	124. Cradle to Grave, part five

Cradle to Grave

Part Five

September 2006

Georgie was in a total and complete lust and love filled fog, as she leaned against Logan's broad and muscular chest in the back of his truck. They were supposed to be staring at stars but her eyes were closed because she was soaking in the smell of him, the feel of him, the emotion of the moment....she was lost in him and nothing on earth had ever felt so right.

She had no clue what he was up to.

After spending her whole life telling her that he was too old for her and too mean for her and too uninterested in a little girl like her- and that her growing up would not change a thing so she should stop wishing for that- he now seemed downright upset that she had told him she was determined to get over her crush on him.

He didn't take the news all that well earlier. And now he seemed to be intent on proving she was over nothing.

But why?

Logan was known for screwing around with every wild girl he could get his hands on. Georgie would never be a wild girl like that. And if he just wanted to screw around she'd knee him in his junk and knock him down.

So what the hell did he want?

He had always been so careful to do no more than kiss her forehead. She would have done anything to get his arms around her, like they were now, but he refused to even think about it. Even when she told him that she was okay with keeping them a secret- when she was sixteen- and that her Dad didn't have to know....and that Logan could be the one law and rule she broke.

He just about ran away from her that day. She was so pissed she could have spit nails. He made her feel like a fool. Totally alone in her feelings- like usual.

Was she still in this alone?

"You're tired, sweetheart," he said as she brushed her hair back, so he could look down at her face in the moonlight. "I should let you get some rest back at the house. You got a long drive tomorrow."

Her eyes fluttered open. He was studying her closely.

Georgie whispered "We can't go back already. We haven't even found our star."

They both looked up at the night sky. Long moments passed. She, ever so slowly, not thinking at all about their star but thinking only about him, took hold of his hand. Her thumb started to make lazy circles over his skin.

Crickets chirped. Fireflies buzzed through the air. It was an end-of-summer Texas night.

Usually they would not spend September together. He'd be in Hollingsbrook- back when he was a kid and teenager- in school and she'd be in Port Charles. They only could see each other for June till the end of August, when he visited his father, and holidays, when she visited the ranch. It was never enough for Georgie. She used to beg to visit Mariah more but Mac was onto what she wanted from the start- to get herself back around that reckless, hell raising Hayes boy.

No matter how mad Logan ever made her- no matter if she thought it was unfair he used his endearments on everyone and not just her, and that he flat out refused to take her to any barn dances or let her tag along when he went to watch drag races or went to bonfires- she couldn't quite break herself of the crush that had consumed her since she was a baby.

Now she wanted to though. Or she had. The divorce made her rethink her life. Had Dillon cheated on her because she was so obsessed with Logan? Would she ever find a boyfriend who she could feel more about than she did Logan? She needed to let Logan go so she could finally be mature and realistic.

Since he didn't want her. Did he?

Georgie pointed up at the sky, with the hand that was not holding Logan's, "There it is."

"You were always better at finding it than me."

"I'm better at a lot of things than you. Better at paint ball. Fishing. Cooking."

"Oh, come on now, that's so wrong," he said with a chuckle.

She giggled. "Better at Monopoly." She used to beg him to play that with her because it was the board game that took the longest, and he would indulge her, even when Maxie would complain they had better things to do. "Better at line dancing. Better at-"

"You can stop at any time now, girl."

She giggled some more. "But you're pretty good at things I couldn't ever think about doing. Like fixing cars and playing guitar and breaking horses."

"At least I'm getting some credit now."

"Don't get a big head. You're not perfect by a long shot but I like you anyway. Always have."

He shifted so that his mouth brushed her ear, and then whispered, "I don't like this idea of you outgrowing me. What's up with that?"

She whispered back "Isn't it time?"

"Now it's a question? Now I get a vote?"

Georgie couldn't even breath, as she twisted in his arms, and faced him. His face was completely unreadable. She felt like she was drowning in emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. And that is not what she wanted to feel. She wanted to be in control now. Not look like a silly child to him any more who was desperate for him beyond all rhyme or reason.

She needed to be an adult and face him as grown woman, not a little girl who was always hanging around his neck, begging for scraps. Scraps was the last thing she wanted now.

Logan had messed with the heads of so many women that he was known around Port Charles as Tex and all the young women knew Tex was nothing but trouble. But Georgie never would have thought he'd mess with her head. He always treated her better than that.

Other than their one kiss- when she was crying and so was he, and he was about to get in his truck and drive back to the army base to be deployed to Iraq- there was never so much as a hint he might want her. And that kiss, she always believed, was his way of giving her a gift. Not his way of saying he had fallen for her.

The moment lingered, as Georgie stared at Logan, until he finally asked "What did that idiot do to my sweet girl? How did he mess you up so bad that you don't want us anymore?"

Her breathing became very ragged. She thought she might seriously pass out. "Leave Dillon out of this. This isn't about him."

"I think it is. Because whatever he pulled has you telling me that you're done with me too. I'm gonna get it out of someone what went down so you might as well just spill. Because whatever happened it has made you different....you said so yourself....and I'm fine with different...I really am, Georgie ...because I'm so different now its scares me sometimes...but I'm not okay with him making you not believe in love anymore. Because that messes up my life and my plans and if your ex has done that to you and me.....I'm gonna hurt him ten times as much as he hurt you."

She breathed out "Your life and your plans?"

His tone was low and throaty when he told her "I can't let you go on back to New York thinking that I'm going down to the bar to find some chick to replace you. Cause I'm not. You're irreplaceable to me. If I can't have you then I don't want nobody."

"What?" she asked, her tone completely shocked and confused.

"Is this all that surprising?"

"Yes!"

"Georgie-"

Suddenly she was scrambling onto his lap, with her arms wrapping around him neck. Never before had she been in this position with him but just the idea of him possibly wanting him gave her a boldness to plant herself right in his lap.

Breathlessly she asked "What do you mean I'm irreplaceable to you? When did you decide that? Today?"

He chuckled. "Nah. A couple years back actually."

"Huh? Logan, do not play with me! Do you hear me? Do not mess with me right now. What are you doing? You wouldn't lie to me about this, would you? Do you feel sorry for me because Dillon dumped me?"

Anger jumped into his tone. "That guy walked out on you? I figured you left him cause he was an ass to you."

"Forget Dillon!"

"You just brought him up. And I ain't forgetting a damn thing. I will deal with that guy and he will deal with me. You best believe that."

Georgie cupped his cheeks with her hands. She was breathing erratically. "Lo, its no secret I've wanted you every second of my life nearly...even when I was married to him....and so if you really think that maybe you could be with me now....then I need you to tell me why you changed your mind about us."

"Like you keep saying, you're not a little girl anymore."

"Mmm hmmm....and?" she prompted, desperately. "It can't just be that I'm eighteen. You always swore it didn't matter how old I got, you'd never see me that way."

"Well I lied."

"Why?"

"Because you should have some rich boy. I've thought about that a lot, while I was gone. Thought about how there are better men out there for you. Smarter and saner and able to give you more than I can...but I also thought, Georgie, that I hate the idea of any of them touching you...the idea of you belonging to Dillon just about made me insane...his hands on you every night....I almost couldn't make myself think about going to see you up north again...but I couldn't stay away either. If you didn't come down here this weekend then I would have been up your way by next weekend....because I missed you....most."

"Most? Really?"

"Who else would I miss most?"

"I don't know. I just can't believe its me."

He took both her hands and covered his heart with them. Their eyes held. "Its you, Georgie. You own me."

Her mouth dropped.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

You own me. You own me. You own me.

The words echoed in Logan's head. He said them and he meant them. It might be the only right thing he had said all night. He knew he wasn't getting his point across before then. He was just so intoxicated with the feel of her in his arms, looking into those lovely brown eyes, smelling her sweet jasmine scented skin. He'd ached for her for months and months, as he lived in the desert, and now that he was home he just couldn't imagine not being with her.

She was outgrowing him?

No way in hell he could let that happen. He just couldn't. Everyone who knew him knew he was nuts about her. It was in his eyes when he said her name. On his tongue when he told their stories. It was in his touch as he held her letters. It was consuming him.

He was the one with a crush now. Except it was more than a crush. He wanted to make love to her in the worst way...love. Not sex. Logan Hayes had finally gotten old enough for love. Just in time too.

Note- There are six more parts. That will be posted tomorrow.


	125. Cradle to Grave, part six

Cradle to Grave

Part 6

September 2006

Georgie was completely stunned. Logan had her head spinning with his actions and words. He invited her to go star gazing and, of course, yes was out of her mouth before her brain had the chance to say that maybe, if she was trying to get over her life long crush on him, that going anywhere alone with him was really a bad idea.

Let alone curling up next to his warm, hard body on the air mattress he had in the back of his truck.

He had asked to hold her. For the first time ever he wanted her to rest in his arms. She lay there, with her eyes closed, feeling a million conflicting emotions at once. Relaxed and safe and secure. But, at the same time, nervous and excited and turned on. Confused. What was he trying to do tonight? Make her want him? Why would he pull that on her right after she just told him that she needed to leave her little girl feelings about him in her childhood as she became a woman?

Didn't he want the same thing?

Then his mouth was against her ear, setting her skin on fire, as he angrily hissed out how he was pissed off she was thinking about getting over him. His heart was in all his words, all broken and terrified, and she stopped breathing for a second, then started breathing shakily, her lungs hurting from the effort.

She straddled his lap, with her hands pressed against his heart, his warm and bigger hands covering hers, and the words he just spoke ringing in the night air: You own me.

After years and years of wanting him to want her back, Georgie could barely comprehend that this was really happening to her. This man -that she adored since he was a five year old little boy- now looked at her and saw someone to take out on a date, kiss, take to his bed, need, hold, love, and adore right back.

"You own me," he repeated.

She squeezed her eyes closed. "I'm in bed sleeping right now. This is just another dream."

"Sweetheart, look at me."

Georgie opened her eyes. Her chest rattled with tears as the emotions of this moment hit her.

Logan looked dead serious. Nervous even. Very tense and dire. "Did he hurt you so bad that you don't believe in any man anymore? Do you still believe in me?"

"Always."

He sucked in a quick breath. His hands rose to thread into her hair. "I'll take care of you right. I'll make the hurt fade away and nothing with him will matter anymore....we'll be all that matters....if you still think your crush is worth hanging onto a little bit longer?"

"Lo."

"Yeah."

"Why would you even ask such a silly question?"

"Because I don't know the answer."

"Look into these brown eyes that have been staring you down for eighteen years.....what do you see in them?"

"I think you're scared, Georgie."

"You're right. I am scared."

"Okay. We can go slow but lets be together. Don't run from me."

"I'm scared I'm going to wake up and you're going to still be in Iraq or in someone else's bed or telling me to grow up and get over you already. That's all that scares me....love doesn't scare me....not if its with you. Otherwise...yes. Completely terrified and uninterested. But if its with you....oh, Lo." She leaned over and caught his mouth in a sweet kiss that ended up turning into a series of breathless and intense kisses.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

God, he wanted this so bad. Her. Them. This moment of confessions. This change in their friendship. Growing up together.

Logan had been dreaming of this day for a year- the whole year over sees- and before that he had been lusting after her curvy, hot, little body for another whole year. So he was more than ready to actually be at the moment when he could kiss her like he longed to do for so long.

He had thought about not telling her all he was feeling. But then she'd drive away tomorrow afternoon and go home to Port Charles thinking he didn't ache for her every second he was gone. She came all the way to Texas, driving like a mad woman when she was so cautious and safe usually, because she couldn't stand to not be here when he got back from the war....and if she could do all that for him then he knew he could tell her the truth.

And then just pray it wasn't too late to matter.

It wasn't. A part of him knew, deep in his soul, she wasn't over him. He hadn't known if the pain was so great from her divorce that she wouldn't allow Logan to see her heart right now. But she was. Because she was brave and strong and she never thought too hard when it came to him...she just acted on instinct.

Thank God.

Georgie moved backwards, pulling Logan on top of her, as they kept kissing. After several minutes, he broke away from her mouth. Looking down at her he whispered "You're so beautiful. You're everything I ever wanted. Thank you for loving me, Georgie."

"From cradle to grave, Logan, that's how long I'll love you."

He had never heard anything better in his whole life. Tears came to his eyes. He bent down and gave her a very quick kiss.

She whispered "Make love to me."

After so long without being with anyone-since he joined the army a year and a half before- Logan really wanted to have sex again. But they were more than sex. So much more. "Sweetheart, not like this. Not in a truck."

"That's how everyone does it around here!"

She could get very worked up, very fast, when he tried to deny her anything. Especially when he wouldn't look at her with the same intense sexual hunger he did other women.

Georgie wrapped one jean clad leg around him and moved herself against him. Logan let out a low moan. He whispered to her "It will be better in a bed."

She whimpered "Don't you want me? I know I'm not as hot as your other lovers but....we're something special, aren't we? Isn't that enough for you?"

"You're hotter than anybody else."

"Show me."

"Believe me, girl, I'm planning to. One day. Down the road." Logan sat up. "How about this..." before he could say anymore she started freaking out on him.

Georgie sighed and sat up, pushing him off her. She ran her hands through her hair. "You're ruining everything!"

"Sweetie-"

"I know you. I know all the places you've been with chicks-"

"Okay, no, you don't and that don't matter."

"And all the times you've never held back!"

"You don't know what I've done in the past and you really need to calm down right now."

"I thought you were serious about this. I thought-" She breath hitched in her throat. "You still think I'm a little girl, don't you? Hands off, right? Well I'm not that little girl anymore! And if you really felt half as much as you claim to for me you'd be throwing me down right now....but you aren't!"

"Georgie-"

'TAKE ME HOME!"

She hurried out of the truck. Logan jumped over the side of the truck, grabbing her before she could yank open the door, and pressed her against the truck. He started to kiss her with a fierceness he knew was enough to scare her but he didn't want to hold back a thing. She needed to see exactly who he was and what she was getting.

Because now that he got so close to starting a relationship with her, there was no way in the world Logan would let Georgie get her feelings hurt, run on home to Port Charles, and shut down on him.

"Get naked now," he ordered.

Breathlessly, she asked "What?"

"Now."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She'd never seen him look like this. So intense and alive. Filled with hunger for someone. He kissed her with a desperate roughness that had her back hitting the truck, where she was pretty sure bruises might even form in the morning- not that she cared.

It was worth it to get a kiss like that.

Georgie was so insecure that she worried she didn't compare to the wild women he knew in the past- her own sister, included. But, even more than that, she was worried he wouldn't let himself lose control with her. That he'd love her in a boring, muted way because she was just a child, really, in his mind still.

Now he was looking at her like he knew she was all woman. He helped her out of her shirt. She kicked off her sandals. Next went her jeans.

Her eyes were wide as she watched him looking at her body. He'd seen her in a bikini before. But he'd never saw her completely without clothes. He stared her down, urging her on, as she slipped out of the bra and panties.

She reached for his belt. In a flash he had her off her feet. "Wrap your legs around me, girl."

Then his mouth was on hers again. Their kisses were the most erotic of her life. She was moaning by the time his hand closed around her breast. Her mouth broke from his, as her head fell back. She arched into his caresses. All his movements were fast, not gentle at all, and she was loving every second of it.

Logan gritted out "Fuck, you're my dream girl." Then his mouth was on her breast and his hand was moving down between her legs. By the time he sent her over the edge, her moans were ringing out through the night, bouncing off the trees, and she was thanking God that the farm house was a half of a mile away.

His fingers slipped out of her. She clung to him, whispering in his ear, "Oh, my God. Oh, God, Lo. I've never felt like this before."

He kissed her forehead. A long moment passed, while her breathing slowed.

Georgie whispered "Make love to me."

"No."

"What?" she whimpered

"I told you that we need a bed."

"Oh my God," she whispered breathlessly "for real?"

"That's how I want you for the first time."

After a long moment she said "You're in love with me."

"About time you realized that, sweetheart." He set her down. Her legs were shaky. He picked up her shirt and passed it to her. She slipped it on. Then the jeans and sandals.

Georgie reached for Logan's belt again. "Let me.."

"No way. Forget about that. I'd never be able to stop if you touched me."

"Then maybe you could..."

He smirked at her. "Not gonna happen."

"Lo, I can be just as wild as you've ever had before. I'm up for it."

"I will keep that in mind."

"And I'll keep in mind how you have your heart set on a bed. Even though that's not my fantasy....its yours....and I'll make it special for you."

Walking around the truck he said "I'm counting the seconds...literally counting seconds and that's no joke."

She picked up her panties and bra and got in the passenger seat. "You look very frustrated right now."

"I'm a man. I'll deal with it."

"You do know that there are beds at the B and B in town."

"Miss Jane's Boardinghouse? Are you crazy, girl? She'd be on the phone to my mama in a second."

"I'm just trying to come up with a solution here."

"I have a solution already."

"You do? Well, talk to me then."

Logan started the truck. "I'm gonna move to Port Charles, rent a house out in the country and then I'm gonna show you all the things you can feel when its us together in a bed."

She swallowed hard. He drove the dirt path back to the farm house and then killed the engine. Georgie started to scoot toward him.

"Girl...stay on your side of this truck."

Smiling slightly, she stopped. But then she reached out and massaged his thigh. Logan nearly came off the seat as his pelvis jerked. "Well," he ground out "that defeated the point of staying over there."

She whispered "I love you and this has been the best night of my life."

He whispered "I love you, too. When I was fighting to stay alive over there...I was fighting to get home to you, Georgie."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, while her hand moved over the bulge in his jeans.

He groaned. "You're so bad. I swear you just don't know when to stop."

"And don't you ever forget it, boy."

Smiling sweetly, she moved away and climbed out of the truck, grabbing her underwear and bra she shoved them in the glove box, to avoid carrying them inside where people might ask questions.

"Night, Lo."

His eyes were closed and his head was leaning back against the seat. He breathed out hoarsely "Night, darlin."

She giggled as she walked inside.


	126. Cradle to Grave, part seven

**Note-** As far as this story goes John Zacchara was Brooke's high school boyfriend when they both attended Crimson Point School of the Performing Arts. They snuck around so that Anthony never knew. Johnny was a senior when Brooke was a sophomore. They've broken up by this point. Brooklyn is a freshman at PCU now. Johnny is 21 and stuck in the family business.

**Cradle to Grave**

**Part Seven**

**September 2006**

Georgie was giddy when she slipped into the bedroom that Logan's Mom, Jackie, had said her and Brooke could share for the night. Serena and Maxie were sharing another room, and Coop had his own, as did Logan.

Brooklyn was asleep on the bed. Georgie shook her awake, after flipping on a light.

"Huh? What's going on? Its not morning already, is it? I swear I went to sleep five minutes ago."

"Brooke!" Georgie squealed happily, in a soft but excited voice.

Brooke sat up. "What happened? No, you don't even have to say it. I knew it! I knew star gazing was code for sex in Texas."

Georgie smiled.

Brooklyn's eyes got wide. "You had sex with Logan? You actually, finally, had sex with Logan! Oh my God."

"No. But not for lack of trying."

Her face fell. "Okay. Well that's nothing new. You always try. So what did he say this time when you came onto him?"

Georgie hugged Brooke. "He said he loves me!"

"As more than a friend?"

Georgie pulled back and gave her a look.

Brooklyn said "Sorry! But you've been known to go overboard about the slightest thing he's said or done. Maybe you better explain it all to me so I really get it."

"He said I need to still believe in love and believe in him. He said he's going to move to Port Charles, rent a house, and he's......going to make love to me."

"Well, there is no confusing that, is there?"

Georgie smiled, tearfully.

Brooke squealed "OH MY GOD!"

"SHHH!"

They both fell against the bed, giggling.

Brooklyn asked "This all happened after you threatened to get over your crush, right? He freaked out and confessed he can't lose you."

"I didn't threaten, exactly. I was just telling him how it was. Besides....I really think he started to change his mind about us that last day before he left for Iraq, when he was home from boot camp. I just didn't realize that kiss meant so much to him and when he got here today I said the wrong thing...that I was ready to move on."

"It was the right thing, G. You kicked that man's ass into gear."

Georgie smiled. She touched her lips. "I can't even explain what it feels like when he kisses me."

Brooklyn turned her head and smiled at her. "This was so worth those two days in that car to get here."

"So worth it!"

"Totally worth it!"

Georgie giggled. "Thanks for coming with me."

"I'd be so pissed if I missed this. He finally figured out he needs to get with you. I can hardly believe this is really happening."

"Well I can't blame him too much for waiting till now. At least we won't end up in court over this."

"True."

Georgie smiled. "I just didn't think he'd change the way he looked at me. But somehow he did."

"It was that bikini you borrowed from me. It was a size too small. He was a goner from that day on."

"That was a great bikini."

"Hell yeah it was. If Johnny hadn't ripped the top, I'd loan it to you again. But its in Bikini Heaven now."

"It died for a good cause."

They exploded into another fit of giggles.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cooper had never known a woman like this. So full of life. So fiery. So sexy. Fun. Intense. Maxie was making him lose all of his good sense and he loved every second of it.

They were in the hayloft, in the barn, rolling around and kissing when his cell went off. He pulled away and jerked the phone out of his pocket.

She asked "What in the hell? Really?"

"Its Logan."

"Yeah ,well, he can wait."

"It might be important." He gave her a quick kiss. "One second. Promise."

She sat up and kissed him passionately, as the phone kept ringing. Cooper moaned as he pulled his mouth away, wiping at his lips. "One second..." She kissed his jaw as he murmured "one second...just one second." He answered his phone. "Hey. What?"

"Where are you?"

"I took a walk."

"Well, get on back here, buddy. Lets have a beer. I got some amazing stuff you got to hear."

"That's great. Happy for you."

Maxie was nibbling on Cooper's ear.

"Huh?" Logan asked "You don't even know what happened. Get your ass back here. Where's your head at? You're wandering around in the dark in a town you don't know. You okay, buddy?"

Maxie started to unbuckle Cooper's pants. Cooper said "Great! Seriously, don't worry...I'll be back in a bit. Heading back now...."

Her hands slipped into his pants.

Logan said "Okay. See you in ten then. Meet me in the kitchen."

"Give me an hour."

"How far the fuck away are you? You want me to pick you up?"

Maxie's mouth enclosed Cooper. Cooper said "You're breaking up, man....An hour....promise!"

Maxie let Cooper slip from her mouth. "An hour? Hell with him! I need more than an hour. He can wait."

Cooper's phone started ringing again but he ignored it. Later he heard a message from Logan that said "Just so you know, buddy, I'm doing a bed check right now and my sister best be fast friggin asleep and not with you wherever the hell you are."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning Logan went strolling into Cooper's bedroom and found him kissing Maxie, with just a sheet over them. "In my Mama's house, you two ought to be ashamed."

Maxie burrowed beneath the sheet. "Get out!"

Cooper glared at him. "Not a good time."

Logan crossed his arms over his chest. "Listen to this-"

"Don't care!" Maxie called out. "Go away, you pervert."

"Oh, whatever, I've seen it all before, girl."

"Coop!"

"Logan, could you go? Really. Go."

"After I tell y'all this. I got a girlfriend now. Wanna guess who?"

"Georgie," Maxie and Cooper said at the same time. Maxie came out from underneath the blanket, just sticking her head out. "That's great! Seriously. Could not be happier. But, and don't take this the wrong way, get the hell out of here."

"Aw, all right. I'm going. You two sinners best hope my Mama didn't hear y'all carrying on like this."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie was sitting on the steps of the front porch, drinking coffee, when Logan came outside. He sat down next to her.

"Morning, sweetheart."

She turned her head to look at him, just drinking in the sight of him. "Good morning to you right back."

"You sleep okay?"

"How did you sleep?" she teased him "That is the better question."

She knew that she had left him in a pretty aroused state the night before but he hadn't wanted to go any further than they did. Or, rather, he had wanted to but thought it would be more romantic to wait. Since she never heard of him waiting with anyone else before Georgie did find it romantic- if a little frustrating at the moment it was happening.

Logan smirked. "It was great to be in my own bed again but, yeah, there was some tossing and turning and thoughts of sneaking over to your room."

"That would have shocked Brooklyn."

Logan chuckled. He leaned over and whispered to her. "Its so good that you came down here this weekend...so good. I missed you so bad when I was over there."

"You did?"

"I was driving myself crazy thinking about you being married to him."

"Your letters never said that."

"You wanted me to tell you to leave him? I didn't have any claim on you. I just couldn't believe you got hitched. That Mac went for that shit."

"I wrote you the reason why. Dillon nearly died and it was his last wish. I loved him and I wanted to give him that. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't even know you'd care one way or the other."

"I'm not blaming you, girl. You were free to marry whoever you wanted. Its just hard to wrap my head around the fact you were someone's wife. Wearing his ring. Saying those vows."

There was a long, tense moment before Georgie said, her voice light and happy, "You know what I can't believe?"

"What?"

She smiled. "That you are going to live in the same place as me all...year...round."

Logan grinned. "Pretty good idea, ain't it?"

"Best idea ever."

"You sure you don't like Texas enough to just stay here with me? Send the other girls back without you."

"I have school, remember? I wouldn't want to transfer when I just started a few weeks ago. I like it so far and I'm in the honor's program."

"Okay, cold it is then."

"I don't want you doing anything you don't really want to do."

"Don't talk crazy, girl....think about last night."

She blushed.

Logan went on "You really think I could stay away from you any longer? Impossible. You're my irreplaceable girl."

Suddenly they heard sounds of moaning drifting out of the upstairs window. Georgie scrunched up her face. "Who's that?"

"You don't even want to know, girl." Logan stood up and walked into the yard. Looking up he shouted "Close that damn window!"

The moaning went on.

"OH, COOP!"

Georgie sighed. "In your mom's house? I can't take my sister anywhere!"

"Lets just tell ourselves they're in love," he said, for her sake.

"In love? They've known each other a day."

The moaning went on. Georgie stood up and walked into the house. Logan followed her. Luckily there was no sounds drifting down the stairs. His mom was in the kitchen so hopefully she had no clue what was going on in her guest room.

Logan took Georgie's hand and pulled her close to him. "Hey.....do you want to tell my Ma about us?"

"I want to but," she nibbled on her lower lip.

"It ain't like she won't know as soon as I start packing to move up north."

"She'll just be so disappointed if this doesn't work out. I don't want to get her hopes up."

"My Ma will be disappointed or you'll be disappointed? Why are you already thinking this ain't gonna work? Where's your faith in me, Georgie?"

"You've never committed to anyone before."

"I've never had the right girl before."

Her eyes searched his.

After a long moment he asked her "How long did you say you're gonna love me for?"

"From the cradle to the grave."

"Is that the truth or just something sweet to say?"

"Its the truth!" she whispered, her eyes filled with love, but also fear. Her heart had just been trampled on the month before by Dillon, and Logan was known to get around.

His voice was determined when he told her "Then this is gonna work. I won't let you go for nothing. You can feel free to go shout it from the roof tops. You're my girl."

She smiled sweetly at him. "If you've got your mind and heart set on this then you should go tell your mom right now."

He leaned over and gave her a short, soft kiss. "Mark this day down."

"Okay."

"The first time I won an argument with you."

She giggled. "You won plenty of arguments. You won every time I said 'You better not kiss her!' and then you kissed her anyway."

He laughed. "I don't call that winning. It was just screwing around and waiting for you to grow up."

"And look at me. Grown up."

"Believe me, I've been looking."


	127. Cradle to Grave, part eight

**Note- **You may notice that Jackie Hayes is a lot better off, meaning richer, in this story than in canon GH history. This is because Scott helped to raise Logan. Scott has bought the five bedroom house on twenty acres, the animals and Logan's truck**. **Scott is a high powered defense attorney. Logan still has issues with "rich boys' because he is not rich. He's more middle class but even that he feels like is all Scott's doing-meaning Scott has money, not Logan. Plus Logan has not forgotten how poor his mother was growing up or that Scott did not marry Jackie. The money is not what Logan wanted. He wanted his Dad with him twenty four hours a day.

**Cradle to Grave**

**Part 8**

**September 2006**

Logan and Georgie went horse back riding.

When they came back they brought the horses into the stables. After they climbed down, Logan said "I'll get them put away. Why don't you go get ready for lunch, girl? And light a fire under the rest of them too, would ya?"

"Okay." Georgie leaned over and gave him a very tender and emotional kiss. "That was a great ride."

She hadn't gotten a chance to go riding with him in years and it was something she missed desperately.

"Yeah it was."

She smiled at him. "Okay, I'm going."

"Okay, go."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Logan jerked her against him and started kissing her, frantically, as they walked backwards and ended up against the door of the stall. The horses neighed.

Just then Serena walked in. She covered her eyes. "I'm not seeing this! You're scarring me for life here."

Giggling, Georgie pushed Logan away. "Lunch in an hour?"

"You got it, girl."

Georgie walked toward the doors of the stables. She said to Serena "Sorry about that," with a giddy smile on her face.

"I didn't go blind so no biggee. I just highly recommend you two stay behind locked doors from now on."

After Georgie left, Logan started to deal with the horses. Serena walked over to him. "Wow."

He grinned.

She went on "I've never seen her so happy before."

"And she'll stay happy so don't worry your pretty little head over the thought of me hurting her."

"I trust you."

"Good."

"You love her, don't you?"

Quietly he admitted, as he kept dealing with the horses, "Yeah."

"Already?"

"This ain't no already. This has been my whole life."

"Well, I get that part. I get that you're the one she was screaming for since she could talk. I still remember it and we have the videos to prove it. But that was just two kids....it was mainly her one-sided thing....this isn't playing around."

"You're my sister so have my back."

"I do! What the fuck is your problem?"

"I don't got no problem. I just don't get why you're so all fired worried about this. You've never cared before about my girlfriends."

"You've had a girlfriend before? Who was that?"

"Whatever, Serena."

"Seriously. The closest you ever came to love was Maxie. And you know I'm not lying. I'm excited to have you home and I couldn't be more amped for Georgie getting what she's always wanted. I just want to make sure you get how special she really is....make sure you never forget that."

"I won't," he said, hoarsely.

"Cool."

"You're such a pain in my ass sometimes."

"I love you too. And since you got shitty with me you're now buying me lunch. And letting me drive your truck."

"Like hell. You can have all the free bar-be-cue you want but you drive like you're trying to be an Indy car racer. Not in my baby."

"You should see the way Georgie drives when she thinks she's about to be late for seeing you. I deserve hazard pay for sitting in that back seat for two days."

Logan laughed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that day, the car was packed and it was time for everyone to say good-bye so Georgie, Maxie, Serena and Brooklyn could head home. First all the girls hugged Jackie and said good bye to her. She promised to make it out to Port Charles before winter set it- as no one in the Hayes family really took to snow.

Once she went in the house, Serena and Brooklyn headed for the car, cranking on the radio to listen to as they waited. Maxie stood on the porch with Cooper, while Logan took Georgie over to the far side of his truck.

Maxie said to Cooper "I won't call you."

"I understand."

"I won't ask Logan about you."

"Okay then."

"I'm not going to try and track you down."

"Wouldn't expect you to."

"I have a really crazy life back home. Busy, busy, busy. I'm working on launching a career in fashion. Its in the baby stages right now but its really going to take up so much time."

"I could imagine something like that would," he said.

"Right! So whatever."

"Whatever then, Maxie."

"All right!"

"All right then, Maxie."

With a pout on her pretty lips, she walked down the stairs and off the porch. Cooper followed her. She asked, annoyed, "What do you want now? Forget to say something, solider?"

"Just one thing." He spun her around and drug her close to him. "I'm going to call you."

She smiled. "Of course you are. I knew that all along."

Cooper grinned and dipped his head to kiss her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

From inside the car Brooklyn said "I miss Johnny."

He had broken up with her because of the danger his lifestyle posed.

Serena said "We should just scale the wall at his mansion and make him talk to you."

"They have dogs. Big ones."

"Or we could just wait till he leaves and run him off the road."

"He drives pretty fast."

"Work with me here, Ash."

"Okay, okay. I could rent a room at the Metro Court and somehow get him up there."

"What you need to do...no joking this time...is rent a place in Rochester and see him on the down low."

"He could have done that if he really wanted to stay with me."

"You can do it if you really want him back. Make him an offer too tempting to refuse."

"You think he'll go for it?"

"Its been what? Six months? Since you two broke up."

"More like eight."

"If you're still into him then the feelings had to be really strong. If he feels the same back then he'll go for it. He's just trying to protect you. Don't let him protect you so much that you're safe but miserable."

"I tried to convince him last winter."

"Try again. You miss him. You said so yourself."

"I really do," Brooklyn said, with a sigh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had said good bye to each other many times in their lives. At the end of summers, at the end of Spring Breaks, at the end of holidays, they were always saying good bye, but this good bye stung the worst.

Logan stood by his truck, holding both of Georgie's hands. "You sure you don't want me to drive with you?"

"You have to trust me. I'm an adult."

"Its the rest of the world I don't trust. There's lots of ways it can hurt you and I couldn't stand to see that happen. So do me a favor, would you, sweetheart? Take real careful care of yourself till I get up there and I can take care of you properly."

"I promise I will. You make sure you don't let anything happen to you this next week. You come to me with not a hair out of place, Lo, promise me. No bar fights. No acting up."

Sheepishly he grinned "Well what am I supposed to do for fun, Georgie? If I can't raise hell."

"Call me. I'll give you all the fun you need."

With a low moan in the back of his throat he eased closer to her, letting go of her hands, so her could put his arms around her waist. "You're never gonna be nobody else's girl again. You see all this...all your fire...and everything beautiful about you....that's all for me now, you understand me, girl?"

She smiled. "If you really want that then you better be on your best behavior because you know how I get when you get too out of control."

"Yeah, I know how you get. You get out of control right back and start screaming at me."

"And that's not pretty."

"Nah. Damn ugly really but kinda hot."

"There are lots of other ways we can be hot."

"Don't I know it. I'm planning to show you every single one too."

"Don't be surprised if I think up of few on my own. For instance...." she leaned close to him and whispered into his ear "we go back to the lake...in the middle of a rainstorm....and make love on the hood of your truck."

Blushing, she leaned back.

Logan was dry mouthed. "I'd definitely like to try that some day."

She teased "There's no bed involved. Are you sure?"

He smirked. "You're gonna thank me for the bed I buy us. You'll see."

"I know I will. I'm sorry I freaked out on you last night and was telling you to take me back to the house. I just....I just really want you to want me....just as much as you've ever wanted anyone."

"I want you more, believe that."

"I'm going to miss you so much. I don't want to leave you, Lo."

"Seven days. That's it. Just get through the next seven days and I'll be there. We did months and months when I was away....we can do seven days."

"Its not the same."

"I know you had that rich boy then."

"That's not why at all. Its because I didn't realize before that you were finally ready to give us a try."

"Finally? You act like I've wasted away years. We had to wait till you were eighteen."

"We didn't have to! We could have snuck around. Not when I was really young but after I turned sixteen...I begged you. We could have been a secret. But you just didn't care enough to risk it."

"Risk jail? That would get us no where fast."

"I didn't want to break any law. I just wanted you to love me back....but you wouldn't even think about it. I wanted it to at least be a hard choice for you. For you to at least have considered sneaking around with me."

"You're not that kind of girl, Georgie. You would have hated yourself."

"You make me want to be that girl!"

"Don't you respect me at all for not taking advantage of you like that?"

She hugged him. "I do, Lo. I was just so lonely for you and it made me crazy......I wanted you to be my first."

"I'm sorry. There was nothing we could do about it."

"I should have waited for you."

"Georgie," he pulled back "don't do that to yourself. I got no use for Dillon but you loved him. Don't go regretting away the past. Because that will mess up our future. And I'm really excited for our future. I need you to keep your eye on that for me, okay, sweetheart?"

She nodded.

He said "Cradle to grave, tell me you believe in that."

"I believe, Logan."

He gave her a tender kiss. "You need to get on the road. Pull over as soon as you get tired and make sure you call me from the motel."

Though one of the other girls could take over driving Georgie felt that if she fell asleep in the car she'd wake up to find they were in Mexico at some kind of male brothel or something equally nuts. No use risking that so she made sure they stopped for the night.

"I love you," she whispered. "You've changed my whole life this weekend." She got teary. "And I'm so happy now."

"When I saw you in that parking lot yesterday....it was the best moment of my life and I ain't lying, girl. That moment will always be burned into my memory. And you made that happen for me."

He cupped her face with his hands and added "Never doubt that I love you. I've been waiting for the whole time I was away to get home to you and find the words to convince you that it wasn't Dillon you needed....it was me. That your crush was more than a crush...that my crush on you was more than just about how damn good you looked in that bikini."

She smiled widely.

Logan went on "It was about God knowing that even at five years old I was lonely already and so he let you come into this world....and you loved me from the first time you saw me....and you let us all know it. Nobody has a love like ours. Nobody, Georgie!" He gave her a very firm but quick kiss. Tearfully he said "I don't want to watch you drive away....okay?"

She nodded, as tears streamed down her cheeks. "See you in a week, Lo. Don't be late for Sunday dinner."

"Set a place for Coop."

She smiled through her tears. "I will."

He nodded and then turned and walked away. He went around the house to the back porch. Later Cooper found him there.

Logan asked him "How do you feel about moving to Port Charles, New York?"

"I could do that."

"Good."


	128. Cradle to Grave, part nine

**Cradle to Grave**

**Part 9**

**September 2006**

Logan and Cooper were upstairs in their new home in Port Charles, unloading boxes, an hour after they arrived from Texas. They needed to take the U-Haul back so they were trying to get it cleared out before they headed to Mac's house for dinner.

The house they would be living in had been found by Lucy Coe for them. Logan explained to her just what he wanted- something out in the sticks away from the noise of the city- and she located the rental for him and faxed the rental agreement. The house had three bedrooms, a back deck with a hot tub, and a two car garage. It also had a large barn, which Logan thought he'd use to restore old cars in.

Goosebumps covered Logan's arms when he heard a voice yell up the stairs "Son! Hey, where are you, kid? Logan Baldwin Hayes get your ass down here, front and center."

With a smile, he patted Cooper's arm and said "Give me a minute, man." Logan jogged down the stairs, to find Scott in the living room. He joked "What are you doing just walking into my house like you own the place, Old Man? There are laws you know."

As soon as he was off the last step, Scott had him in a bear hug. "You're home," he said, with tears in his voice. "You made it back. You did it, kid. Let me look at you." Scott stepped back. He raised one hand to grip the back of Logan's neck, as he got even more emotional. "Are you okay?"

"I held up just fine," Logan promised, trying to not cry.

"You sure, kid?"

"Yes, sir."

Scott hugged him again. After a minute Logan said "Okay, okay...really. You would think I just got back from the war or something."

With a teary chuckle Scott let go.

Logan asked him "You want to meet my best friend? He's upstairs."

"Bring him on down. I'd like to get a look at this Cooper I hear so much about."

Logan nodded and headed for the stairs. He stopped, on the stairs, and said "Oh...one more thing..."

"What's that, kid? You want some help unpacking that U-haul parked in the driveway?"

"Yeah, that would be good but first...there was something I thought and thought about when I was over there....something I got to get clear with you right here and right now."

Scott tensed. They always did have an up and down relationship.

Logan said "Just so you know......I love you, Dad," then he took the stairs two at a time to go get Cooper, leaving Scott there filled with fatherly pride over the amazing boy he had.

It was very rare to ever hear Logan say he loved Scott. The last time had to be when he was just about ten. After that it was all pre-teen and teenage angst. No matter how much Scott tried to show he really did care, Logan would treat him good one day and horrible the next. But now, finally, his son was a grown man and he knew how much his father needed to hear the words, not just know in his heart that it was true.

_I love you, Dad._ Scott would never forget this moment. Never.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You're going to be nice, right?" Alexis Davis, Mac's girlfriend, asked as they stood in his kitchen.

"I'll be nice," Mac said, in a grim tone.

"Because he is a very nice boy."

"I know what kind of boy Hayes is. I've known him his whole life. Nice isn't the first adjective that jumps to mind. It wasn't nice when he cheated on Maxie. Or what about the time he smashed that guy over the head with a beer bottle in Jake's? That's not the behavior of a very nice boy, is it?"

"I've heard good things from Jackie about how he's matured so much because of being in the military."

"What else would his own mother say?"

"I choose to believe her. She has an honest face and that cute country accent that screams trustworthy."

"Funny."

"And she isn't my only source. There are your girls who really are his biggest fans. One is his oldest friend, his secret keeper, and the reason he has a scar on his knee from when she pushed him off that skateboard.. And the other just happens to be madly in love with him."

"Don't remind me."

"So you should have a vested interest in being nice tonight. To make your daughters happy."

"I've been working on my nice face all day." He tried to force a grin but it looked pained.

"Still needs some work. Its the one where you, instead of showing all those frown lines I find so handsome, turn your mouth upwards and pretend you're happy to have Logan home."

"I'm happy he survived. I just wish he would have kept his word about keeping his hands off Georgie."

"I think that promise expired when she turned 18. Sorry. There are statutes of limitations on these kind of things."

"She's in a fragile place, Lexie."

"Georgie is stronger than you realize. And the light in her eyes when she says his name is really all the proof I need that she is on the right path. We should all be so lucky to have such a beautiful, smart, accomplished and loving child like you do."

"You have your own three perfect girls."

"But I don't have a good relationship with my oldest, do I? You don't want to be in the place I am, Mac, believe me. So keep that smile on tonight because Logan isn't the same kid who hurt Maxie. That was four years ago. They moved past it. So much so that Georgie is now crazy over him and Maxie isn't plotting any kind of nuclear level revenge on him for daring to fall for her sister. They are all in a good place. Don't be the one reason they can't be happy tonight."

"I'm gonna do my best but Hayes better show me he deserves her."

"Of course. That's reasonable. But remember she'll have the final say. Not you. Its rough but that's the way the rules of this game read."

"I don't like this game."

She said, tenderly, "I know," as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few hours later, Logan and Cooper were walking up the driveway at the Scorpio- Jones house when the front door opened. Maxie came running out and jumped into Cooper's arms. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she started to kiss him passionately.

Logan said "Hello to you, too. Did I miss you? Sure thing. How have I been? Could be better but you know...hello! Break it up already before I get the hose."

Maxie smirked as she pulled away from Cooper. She looked over at Logan "Idiot."

"Where can I find the Jones sister who is nice?"

Maxie pouted.

Logan said "Fine. I love you too. Now where can I find her?"

"Kitchen."

Logan headed that way. Maxie looked at Cooper, still in his arms, "Oh, hi!"

"Hi!" He chuckled and set her down.

She said "I didn't really care if you came tonight."

"I could tell."

"Not that I care at all.... but you haven't been with anyone else since I saw you last, right?"

"Its just been a week."

"That's no kind of answer."

"I've been with no one this last week. Though there's this blonde I can't get off my mind. I don't know what to do about it either."

"I don't know, Cooper. It sounds like a personal problem to me."

He grinned at her. "Do you have any ideas about what might solve my problem?"

"Nope."

"Maybe if I took her on a date."

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I don't care."

"I'm asking you, Maxie. Go on a date with me tomorrow night. Somewhere fancy. Wear your best dress."

"Hmmmm."

"Don't say you don't care."

She smiled. "I was just thinking about which one is my best dress. I'll have to try a couple on. Want to come watch?"

"Isn't your father home?"

"He'd never know."

"No."

She smiled and titled her head up. "Well, kiss me again, at least. Make me care, Cooper."

He grinned and then kissed her. And she cared.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie stood at the stove, with an apron on, stirring gravy when their was a short knock on the door and then Logan stuck his head inside. He said "I heard there was a pretty girl in here missing her man. You know anything about that, doll?"

Georgie squealed in happiness, flipped the knob to turn the gravy off, and then hurried over to hug Logan. She loved the feel of him in her arms. The smell of him. The way it soothed all the jagged and broken places in her to be near him. She whispered one word against his ear. "Lo."

"You feel like heaven, darlin."

Stepping back, she blushed slightly. There was a moment of awkwardness. They hadn't seen each other in seven days...since they admitted they were in love with each other and wanted to be together, maybe for the whole rest of their lives.

"So, good drive?"

"It was all right. Cooper drives like he has cataracts, though. My Nana goes faster."

"Well, just so you know, I don't speed either. Unless it is a very desperate situation."

"Lets make sure you don't get into any of those, Georgie. We can't let anything happen to my irreplaceable girl."

She smiled widely and all the tension drained from the room. She went over to the stove again. "Do you want to help me with dinner?"

"Putting me to work already, huh?"

"You want to eat, right? Then get cooking."

"Point me in the direction of what you need done."

She crooked her finger at him. He walked very close to her. Georgie said "Before you do anything, aren't you forgetting something?"

"Like what?" he teased.

"Hayes, if you mess with me, just know....I still have that super soaker water gun and my aim has only improved over the years."

"Such a sweet girl to be making threats."

"Sweet has never worked with you," she teased back.

"Did you ever try?" Logan smiled.

She gasped in pretend frustration. "I'll have you know I tried everything under the sun."

"I must be stubborn or something."

"Blind."

"Nah, I saw you. You were the one with the pig tails, right?"

She chuckled. "I burned all those pictures."

"Well, my Mama didn't burn her copies."

Georgie gave him a look that said: Just kiss me already!

Logan only smirked in response.

She turned to face the stove. "Just so you know my Dad is going to be around us for the next two to three hours so prepare to be good and frustrated for a while now."

He wrapped his arms around her waist. His head rested on her shoulder. "You're so bossy, girl."

"Not that it ever does me any good," she teased back.

"The food smells good. You gonna cook for me at my new house?"

"You should cook for me. Its your house," she said, though of course she couldn't wait to cook for him there.

"But you're better at it than me."

"You're not half bad. And practice makes perfect."

"We're gonna get a lot of practice in that house. You can count on that, girl."

She blushed.

Logan eased away from her, leaning on the counter next to her. A long moment passed.

Georgie asked, her skin still burning from his words, "So, you didn't bring Coop along?"

"Aw, don't talk to me about that guy. All I hear is your sister's name two hundred times a day from him now. And you know what that means, don't ya? When they fight and fuss at each other I'm gonna be stuck right dead smack in the middle."

"Its not all about you."

"Says you, Georgie."

"Very mature," she teased him. "I, personally, hope they do work out. It will make me feel a lot better about them hooking up so quickly."

"It don't surprise me none that happened. I made the mistake of sending Maxie a picture of him in one of my letters to her and she never stopped bugging me about him since then."

" So, since it will give you a headache if they get together and then break up, you left him at home tonight? That's not very nice, Lo. You know I wanted him at this dinner."

"I didn't leave him no where but in the driveway slobbering all over your sister."

Just then they heard Mac yell out "Georgie!"

"I'm in here, Dad!" She turned around and told Logan, as she straightened his collar. "Okay. Now smile and be nice."

"Don't you worry, sweetheart. I can be real nice when properly motivated," he said, as he pulled her close and kissed her senseless. He let her go a second before Mac walked into the kitchen.

Georgie stood there with a dazed look on her face. Her lips were moist- with the taste of Logan lingering on them.

"Hayes," Mac said.

"Sir. Its good to see you again."

Mac stuck out his hand and they shook. "Welcome home. Good job, solider. You've done this country proud."

"Thank you, sir."

Mac put his hand on Logan's shoulder. "Now lets go sit down and have a chat."

Georgie said "Dad, please-"

Logan cut her off. "You better keep an eye on that dinner, doll."

Mac said "I just want to have a little talk with him. Not scream...talk."

And then Mac and Logan headed for the living room, while Georgie's gravy burned on the stove because she was so distracted. And outside....she could have sworn she heard the faint sounds of soft moaning. Good God.

Maxie and Cooper were shameless.

She flipped off the outside light. No need for the neighbors to see that.


	129. Cradle to Grave, part ten

**Cradle to Grave**

**Part 10**

**September 2006**

"What did my father say to you?" Georgie asked Logan, as they sat in his truck after dinner. It was parked in her driveway.

Cooper and Maxie had already taken off in her car to go God knows where. Georgie only hoped they would not get caught having sex in public.

"He asked me if I think you're too young for me," Logan told her.

"And do you think that?"

"Yeah but I'm not gonna let that stop us."

"What does my age have to do with anything? I've been married and divorced. I take care of the house for my Dad. He pays the bills but I plan all the meals, shop for the food, cook, clean, hold down a job, go to school and volunteer. I'm the most mature college freshman I know. I don't appreciate you and my Dad getting together to talk about me like I'm still a little girl with a little crush."

"Believe me, Georgie, I'm amazed by all you do. I think you should slow down with all that actually. Kick back and enjoy life some, sweetheart."

"What else did my Dad say?"

"That he doesn't want me treating you the way I did Maxie."

"He's still stuck on that? It was four years ago. You were just out of high school then! And Maxie did her fair share to make that a mess."

"I told him I'm not gonna wild out like back in those days. He don't got to worry. But who am I kidding, right? You know your Pops. He's gonna worry and worry and drive us half nuts till he sees that this is a good thing. You and me. We're a real good thing."

"I think so."

"I know so, Georgie."

She scooted closer to him. "Tell me about your new place."

"I like it. Lucy did a real fine job on finding it. She's gonna go with me tomorrow to find some furniture and then I'll have you out there to take a look around."

"Are you sure your Mom isn't mad at me for making you move here?"

"You didn't make me do nothing. I'm here because you're my girl now and this is where I wanna be. I could have easily said we should do a long distance thing but all our lives we had to say good bye at the end of summers and holidays....I just want to stay in the same place as you for a good long while this time. I'm sick of saying good bye over and over. My Ma gets that. She's always loved you and I think she knew, a while ago, it wasn't gonna be Maxie....it was always gonna be you."

Even though he had dated plenty-sometimes two chicks at once even, and sometimes he would get into moods and date no one for months on end- it was no secret that he only ever said "I love you, girl," to one person before Georgie. Her sister. But Logan and Maxie had proved to be much too crazy together. Car windows got smashed. Phones got hacked into with stolen passwords. They were constantly jealous and thinking the other was cheating- and sometimes the other one was, in fact, getting naked with somebody else on the side. One crazy summer they shared together and then it was just too much.

Logan went back to Texas to brood and Maxie gave PCU a try.

He got in bar fights. She dropped out of school before Christmas. They missed each other like hell. But they didn't get back together. The years started to fly by and soon they were just each other's oldest friends again.

Logan went on "My Ma is happy we're getting this figured out. She loves you, you know that, sweetheart."

"We can go see her at Christmas if you want, Lo."

He smiled. "Getting away from here in the middle of winter? Hell yeah I want that. I don't know how I'm gonna stand it when it drops below zero around here. I got to put snow tires on my baby for the first time ever, girl."

"You'll get used to it, I promise."

"I don't know. The house I rented seems awful drafty. You might have to stay over and keep me warm."

She smiled slightly. "Do you have a fireplace?"

"Yeah."

"Problem solved."

He chuckled and pulled her into his arms, as she giggled. Their eyes met. The moment stilled. He whispered "Come here, girl, and give me some sugar," as he titled his head to kiss her.

Her hand raised to caress his cheek, as her mouth opened beneath his, allowing his tongue to slide inside. They softly kissed each other, sensually exploring, as her arms wound around his neck.

Her back brushed against the steering wheel. The horn blared. They jumped apart. For a moment they stared at each other and then they busted out laughing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

He knew better than to be here. Do this. Tempt himself. Hell, this was more than tempting himself.

Johnny Zacchara knew he was jumping right back into the fire tonight. But he couldn't stop himself. The moment he heard Brooke's voice on his phone, after eight months of silence from her, his heart raced. She was the only woman that ever meant a thing to him.

His high school girlfriend. His lover. The one he gave a promise ring.

But all his promises ran out after the last mob war in Crimson Point. She was safer away from him in Port Charles. Sonny had his territory on lock down now-after a deadly time earlier that year with the Alcazar family. Johnny wanted Brooke safe and that last mob war his father was in- with a NYC family that wanted to move product through their territory- shook Johnny to his bones. What if Brooke caught a bullet over him?

He couldn't risk it. So he pushed her away. Ignored her crying and screaming and begging. And finally the calls stopped. There were no more texts or e-mails. They started living separate lives after two years of being together on the down low.

The months went by and Johnny grew cold. Frozen almost. Just like when his Mom died and Claudia moved to Milan. He was empty again.

So when he heard Brooke on his voicemail, and when his heart raced at the sound of her voice, and when his mouth went dry, and when his breathing quickened, he had felt so damn alive that he would have went anywhere on earth to see her. She had said "Hi, its me...its Brooklyn. Um....I get that you think there's no way possible for us anymore. And if you still feel like that then don't even call me back. But if.....Johnny, I miss you, okay, baby? Every night this week...from six to midnight...I will be at this new apartment I've rented in Rochester. You have till Sunday night to make up your mind. Make the right choice. Because......we're just about out of ...second chances.....Okay, well, anyway, you'll do what you do. I can't control that. Just don't blow this off...think about this...we can sneak around like before....I'd do anything to have a chance with you again....All right, well, the address is..."

On Monday night, just six hours after he got her message, he knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Hey, Brookie."

Her heard all these locks being turned and then the door was flung open. She was wearing ripped jeans and a PCU t-shirt. Her hair was in a pony tail. Her eyes got all teary. She motioned at her clothes. "I didn't think you were coming! Sorry!" She smiled through her sniffling. "I figured you'd wait till Sunday....if at all...you should see Sunday's outfit."

"I couldn't wait till Sunday."

"You waited eight months. What the hell, Johnny? Seriously! I love you, okay? Don't pull this shit on me ever again."

Another apartment door, down the hall, opened. Johnny stepped into Brooke's place, closed and locked the door, quickly, not wanting to be spotted by their neighbor.

Brooke turned away from him, wiping her eyes.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, from behind, and said "Its still dangerous and I shouldn't be here but I couldn't stay away." He turned her around and looked down at her. "You're my first and only love, Brookie."

"Only? You sure? You didn't get with no one else?"

"We weren't together so don't go there."

"Oh." Her face crumpled. She rested her forehead on his chest. "It doesn't matter, Johnny."

"I didn't sleep with anyone else. I kissed someone though."

"I kissed a few someones. I'm sorry."

"You don't got to tell me everything that went down. I don't want to hear specifics."

"I didn't sleep with anyone. I couldn't. You're the only one I could do that with."

He swept her off her feet and headed out of the living room. A smile graced her lips. He asked "What room?"

"Right at the end of the hall."

He took her in the bedroom and laid her on the bed. He stretched out over her and started kissing her. After five minutes of slow and sweet kisses, he spooned with her. Nuzzling her neck he wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her close to his body. "Great apartment, Brookie."

"Worth every dime I had to get out of my Grandfather for it."

"What does he think you spent it on?"

"Music equipment."

"I'll get the money back to you."

"I don't care about how much this place cost. I just care that you still want to hold me like this."

"You know I always wanted that. I'm just trying to keep us both alive."

"I know it sounds all dramatic and stupid....but life isn't really worth living without you, Johnny."

"Ditto."

Brooklyn smiled softly. "Wanna hear some good news?"

"Hit me with it."

"Logan came home from Iraq last week and he finally gave into G."

Johnny chuckled. "I bet she's just about walking on air these days then."

"Just about.....and so am I now."

"Me too."

She rolled over and faced him. Her hand raised to brush his hair back. She gave him another short kiss. Then she sat up and pulled off her shirt, undid her bra and tossed it on the floor. She lay back down, facing him, shivering slightly.

His eyes darkened with hunger for her. She was so damn beautiful and she loved him with all her heart and all her soul. He could still remember the first day they met. He was playing his piano in an empty classroom and she came in to leave a note for the teacher. He grinned at her. Asked if she wanted to learn a song. She sat down next to him and the rest was history in the making....their love story....his first and only love.

"I missed you, Brookie."

Her eyes searched his. She pressed herself against him, her breasts mashing softly against his chest, as she looked into his eyes. "You wanna, right?"

He kissed her with a desperation that he never showed her before, as he pushed her onto her back, "Hell yes I wanna."

They made love for hours. So different from the two kids whose fingers moved together on the piano more than two years before. But just as crazy about each other.

(Heart and soul,

I fell in love with you.

Heart and soul,

the way a fool would do.

Madly.

Because I held you tight

and stole a kiss in the moonlight) (Music by Hoagy Carmichael and lyrics by Frank Loesser)


	130. Cradle to Grave, part eleven

**Cradle to Grave**

**Part 11**

**September 2006**

A week later Georgie was going out of her mind with need for Logan. Every night she was having vivid erotic dreams about him- the kind she never had in her life before about anybody else.

She could not believe he was holding out on her like this. Talk about slow torture.

He spent all week getting his house together, visiting with Tina, Lucy, Gail, Lee and his local friends, talking to Frank- Tina's birth father- about getting into the paramedic training program, taking Cooper to buy an SUV, and a million other things. But what he did not do until the next Friday night was take her out on a real dinner and dancing date. Instead of just pizza or burgers and making out afterwards in his truck while country music played.

All week long she bit her tongue. There was no way she was begging to get into his bed. But tonight they had their romantic date and finally- Thank you, God, she thought- he was taking her to his house for the first time.

She stood on the porch, behind him, as he shoved his keys in the door. The house was dark. Coop was, of course, where he was every night. Having sex with Maxie. Coop and Maxie seemed to be christening half of Port Charles by making love in crazy places where, Georgie was sure, they were one scream of passion away from arrest.

Staring at the back of Logan, where his collar met his hair, she was hit with this mixture of lust and endearing sweet love. He was so damn hot but also cute. And she knew everything about his past. She knew him in the way she could never know any other man.

Georgie could not help herself. She couldn't hold back a moment longer. She wrapped her arms around Logan's waist from behind, pressing herself against him. Her hands jerked his shirt out, roughly, as he tensed. He sucked in a short breath and chuckled "Hold on there, girl. Don't you got no interest in seeing my place first?"

Her hands found their target, beneath his shirt and undershirt, those deliciously, hard abs. She skimmed her fingers over them. "Mmmm. Its very nice. I love it!"

Logan chuckled, as the door opened. He turned and pulled her into a sinfully hot kiss. He stumbled backwards as she walked forward. The stairs were just a few steps away. Logan drug Georgie onto top of him on those stairs, their lips never parting until he said, against her mouth "This house ain't been a home because you ain't been here.....welcome home, sweetheart."

She let out a happy sigh, as she gave him another short kiss, then she looked around the darkened room. "Perfect."

"You can't see jack. Let me turn on a light." His voice was light with laughter.

She kissed him. "I love it." Kissed him again. "Love everything about it." Kissed him again. "Though the curtains have to go." Kissed him again. "Unless they look better in the light." Kissed him again. "But I don't care about curtains....do you, Lo?"

His voice was soft and shaking with all his need for her when he said "I just care about making you happy....with this house, with me....with it all, girl. You're just eighteen and you don't understand all the life you're giving up for this...but I do...and I wanna make it worth it for you."

She kissed him another time. "I'm not giving up anything. I'm getting everything I've ever wanted...I've wanted you for all my life....I was born wanting you. So....Logan....is it the time when you're gonna give you to me?"

"You have me. You just don't believe it yet." He eased out from underneath her, walked over to the door and shut it. He took Georgie's hand, as he knelt before her, and said "This is your house, sweetheart, and I'm your man. I thought when I came home from Iraq I couldn't even come to this town. I thought I couldn't see you again. Not that I would have been able to stay away but I was thinking that stupid shit for months and months....and I don't ever want you to be like I was. When you go out into the world...when you study abroad like you always dreamed...when you're in Paris and Rome and Israel and all those places that you want to see....don't be stupid like I was and think you can't come back home to me. That I won't be here loving you still. I'll be here. I already had all my wild days....that was before the war...before that madness...before you were grown...now I'm ready to just be here....and you can have some adventures...just not with no other man. Cause I'm your only man now. You got it?"

"Cradle to grave, I got it," she whispered.

He led him up to the bedroom. She was wearing a stunning green dress with her hair up and little flowers in her hair. On the bed was a t-shirt that Logan used to wear years before. Back then Georgie had stolen it and would sleep with it beneath her pillow, till Maxie found out and took it back. Now Logan handed it to her. "Go in the bathroom and put this on, doll."

She chuckled.

He said "You always did want to get your hands on this shirt. Well its yours now and I wanna see how it fits you."

She turned around. "Unzip me, please."

He unzipped her, laying a kiss on her upper back. She looked over her shoulder at him. "I love you, Lo."

"I love you more than there are stars over Texas, girl."

"That's a lot of love."

"You're loved that much and more."

She headed for the bathroom. When she came back he had candles lit. Logan was sitting on the bed, with his shirts and shoes off, holding a small teddy bear. "Look who I found, girl."

"Oh my God, I can't believe you kept that."

Georgie won a teddy bear at a fair when she was eight years old and insisted that thirteen year old Logan take it. Even though he was embarrassed by lugging that thing around that afternoon, he took it anyway, and both their mothers ribbed them about how Georgie was just not getting over her crush.

He said "I dug him out of my Ma's attic. Thought you might like to be reunited with him after all this time."

She walked over to the bed, took the teddy bear and set it next to him. Her hands rested on his shoulders as she stood before him. "We have so many great stories and memories...all those times your Dad took us camping...."

"Its not camping when its in a cabin. He just never got that."

She chuckled. "But it was great anyway. And all the times we went to the fourth of July carnivals. The times we swung on the rope by the lake at your house. Catching fireflies and butterflies and letting them go a second later, just to chase them so more....you're in all my best memories, Logan, and I just hope that for you...like for me...that makes this better and not....boring. I hope I'm not already old to you...the girl you know a little too well...who you can love but not who you can really let lose with."

Murmuring "Get over here, girl," he pulled her onto his lap. "You're getting to be as hard headed as I am, Georgie. Look at you." He glanced down at her bare thighs. "Looking all gorgeous and perfect right now....and you're still letting your head tell your heart that if we aren't getting it on against every flat surface....then I don't really crave you....Well, this time, you couldn't be more wrong."

He quickly flipped her over, so that she was on her back, and he was between her legs. She squealed in delight. He started kissing her, letting all his lust for her show, as he pinned his hands into her hair. He pressed his arousal against her as their mouths stayed joined, their tongues darting in and out in a sensual dance.

Logan lifted Georgie's hands until they were over her head, and held them there with one of his hands. He kept kissing her on the lips, the jaw, the neck, pushing up the shirt and letting his hands caress all over her, gently then with more pressure, sending her into a frenzy of body shivering lust.

She arched her back. Letting go of her hands, Logan moved down and started kissing up her legs, over her thighs, on her stomach, then he pulled her into a sitting position and kissed her lips. He helped her get out of the shirt. Stepping back he stared at her as she sat on the bed.

Logan murmured "God, you're too fucking perfect for words."

Her eyes were wide with both insecurities and hunger. He got out of his clothes and stood there. She scooted to the edge of the bed. Her hand smoothed down his chest. "Lo," she breathed out, in amazement.

In a throaty whisper he asked "You like, girl?"

She kissed his chest. "Oh, God, yes," she murmured.

She took him into her hands. He jerked as the feeling was so intense that he thought he might lose it right there. He let out a low moan. After just a minute he said "Hold on, sweetheart." Logan stumbled back a few steps, on shaky legs. Georgie pushed the comforter off the bed, while he jerked open the nightstand and pulled out a box of condoms. He took one out and dropped the rest on the night stand.

Georgie moved up the bed, until she lay against the pillows, with the sheet over her. Logan got beneath the sheet. She asked "Haven't you been checked out, Lo?"

"We ain't taking no chances."

"I don't want to be reckless, you know I don't. I just want to feel you. I'm on the pill...and if you know you don't have anything...and I know I don't...."

She knew better than to ask for this but her head was never- not even once- rational over Logan. Other guys and she could be so calm, sure, collected. Shy, demure. They could take the lead. But with Logan it was a knock down, drag out fight for his attention and then ache for his love.

"Sit up, Georgie."

When she did, he turned her slightly and started taking all the pins out of her hair. When her hair fell, he kissed her shoulder. He put the pins on the nightstand. The little flowers fell on the white sheet. Georgie looked at Logan again. He said "We got to protect your dreams for right now....you got to let me take care of you right and not fight me at every turn."

Her hand moved beneath the blanket, to caress his thigh. "We have to take care of each other."

He sucked in a shaky breath. He started kissing her neck. Soon his hand was between her legs and then his hands were on himself, as he put the condom on, and moved his body over hers. "Love you, sweetheart."

She closed her eyes and bit her lip as tears fell from her eyes, while he slowly pushed into her, slightly grunting and holding back, slowly letting himself fill her. "Georgie....you okay?"

She let out a whimper. Her whole body was shivering. Her breathing was really shallow. He stayed still for a long moment. He bent his head, as he held himself up over her, and kissed her forehead. He'd been kissing that forehead her whole life. She let out another whimper.

The length and width of him was something she had to get used to. Her tight heat held him and he was dying to start stroking into her. A very slow minute passed.

When she relaxed a bit, she opened her eyes, locking her eyes on his, and then slightly moved her hips.

Soon they had fallen into a slow and gentle rhythm. A rhythm they would perfect over the years. Georgie and Logan would have their wild times, and their screaming fights, and their days and nights spent on opposite ends of the earth. But they would always come back to each other and back to their rhythm that always felt just like it was sent from Heaven....like it was their fate on this earth for him to be her boy and her to be his girl...who became his woman. Saving this reckless, lonely man from himself.

The first time Logan, at five, looked down at Georgie he had declared "I love her!" and then he forgot all about that...but it was too late to change anything...because Georgie had already got her heart set on him and, after that, it was just a rush through childhood to get to the moment when he would look at her again and remember: I love her!

THE END

Thank you for taking the time to read about Glo.


	131. Upgrade You, Milo and Georgie

Warning: Mature content

Warning: I find Milo so hot that, in my stories, he is also gonna be lusted after.

Note- Georgie is 21. Milo is 23.

**Upgrade **

**Georgie and Milo**

**August 2009**

Sexual chemistry. It was a force all its own in the world. Undeniable. Unstoppable. Unbearable when ignored.

Hot skin. Wetness slicking her panties. The lace on her bra rubbing against pebbled nipples. Her lungs hurting from the breath she was holding in. Her heart going haywire. Her mind racing. Screaming: _Kiss him! Do it!_

The elevator walls closing in on her. Dear God, she wanted that mouth on her right now. She wanted his mouth on her lips first. Then sucking on neck till she was moaning and ripping off his shirt. Running her hands across those abs. She wanted him on his knees. Kissing her belly button. Kissing every inch of skin he uncovered as he unzipped her jeans, tugged them down with one hard jerk as she stepped out of them. Working that mouth back up her leg, over her thigh, those strong hands cupping her ass as he buried his face against her, licking...sucking...right through the lace of her drenched panties.

Georgie knew she had lost her ever loving mind. Being trapped in this elevator with no air conditioning in the middle of August and looking at Milo, with just a white undershirt on now, was seriously too much temptation for a good girl to deal with.

And he kept talking. Just kept talking. Being so sweet. Trying to make her feel safe. He thought she was claustrophobic, even though she told him she was fine, because she was acting so tense. But her tension was all about him being right there in front of her looking so damn good she couldn't stop thinking of how damn good it would feel if he wrapped those muscular arms around her, pushed her against the wall and she could know what it felt like to be taken hard and fast by a dangerous man.

Because Milo...no matter how sweet and kind he seemed.....was in the mob. Close with Jason. Trusted with Sonny's family.

He didn't get that way by being good at having tea parties with Molly. Or skateboarding with Morgan. He was not a baby sitter. He was a solider in the mafia.

Total badass.

But when he wasn't working he was tender and he was adorable. More than adorable. He was lickable. She wanted to lick him right now. Just lean over and run her tongue over the patch of skin right below his ear. Then take that ear and tug it between her teeth. Feel his hand cup her ass and squeeze it, encouraging her on, not that she needed any real encouragement.

She was horny. Had been for a while now. It had been forever since she got any. Forever.

Georgie wanted love so bad. Wanted to make love with a man she loved. Wanted to fall into sweet, painful, joyous, miraculous love another time.

But that did not stop her from also wanting some hot sex. At least in her mind she could have that. In her mind she could get him naked, hard and all about her.

Milo kept talking, telling her a story about his brother Max playing baseball as a kid on some team that went to the state championships. He was so eager to keep her mind off their situation of being stuck that he had talked about his Mom who was a hippie and his Dad who was a player and how he himself was a vegetarian who worked out twice a day and now he was onto Max's life. She loved these stories but she was finding it so hard to focus on them.

Her eyes started to drift close. She was deep into a fantasy about Milo taking her from behind as her breasts rubbed against the very wall her back was leaning against right now, as they sat on the floor next to each other.

"Georgie."

Her broke into her thoughts. Her eyes popped fully open. Her face was flushed. Her breathing shallow.

Milo asked "You okay? I'm sure it won't be long now. We're going to be rescued any minute. I promise."

"I believe you."

He took her hand, shyly. She nearly came out of her skin. She tensed completely up. Shivers shot from her hand up her arm, across her breasts and down her spine at the same time, and all collided at the center of her, making her twitch with desire for his hand to be there, running against her silky, moist folds, instead of just holding her hand.

He squeezed her hand. "Its okay to admit you're scared."

"I'm not, though. I'm fine. Really. Its a little hot in here but other than that."

Milo gave her an indulgent smile. He didn't believe a word she was saying, that much was clear. "I'm scared too."

"You are?"

"Max would kick my ass if I got myself killed in a stupid accident like this."

"This wasn't something you could avoid."

"Yeah, I know, but I got to be careful. Max needs me."

"My sister Maxie needs me too."

"Its great that she's marrying Spinelli."

"Are you going to the wedding?"

"Best man, right here."

"Maid of honor."

"That's great."

"Do you have a date, Milo?"

"Not yet. I'm weighing my options, sorta....uh....looking around for the best-"

"You're single still?"

"Its lame. I know. But I was kinda into Lulu and it didn't work out and nothing else has worked out since. She's single again now though so...um...maybe-."

"Lulu....is all wrong for you."

"Huh?"

_Be bold. Be bold. Be bold_, she heard Maxie in her head.

_Kiss that hot ass man, _Brooklyn yelled in her subconscious.

_Don't waste a second of life_, Georgie, Robin had always told her. _Not a second._

Georgie leaned closer to Milo, swallowing hard as she did- with naked, sweaty, bodies withering in ecstasy images in her mind- and said "Lulu passed you over when she had her chance."

He froze and then stuttered "I know...uh...I know that...uh...but..."

"She can't find you as hot as I do."

The moment held. He didn't capture her lips in a hot kiss that would burn itself onto her cerebral cortex and be a part of her soul, memory, and mind forever, like she wanted him to.

Georgie lost he nerve and jerked back suddenly. A deep blush colored her face. She cleared her throat and added "But if you like her still...that's cool."

She licked nervously at her lips, wetting them and sucking the bottom one for a moment.

Milo's eyes glazed over. Like he was now lost in his own fantasy. Seeing him, seemingly overtaken with lust in an instant, set Georgie on fire all over again. Her nerves died down. The butterflies in her stomach become ones of excitement again, not embarrassment at her flirtatious antics a moment earlier.

Suddenly, before either could decide what to say or do next, the elevator jerked. Georgie gasped. Milo pulled her close. They dropped about a foot. Georgie let out a scared whimper.

Their eyes met and held.

Milo whispered "Don't be scared. They're working to get us out of here as fast as they can."

She nodded.

The door that was at the top of the elevator was jammed so Milo couldn't push it open. If a fireman came down the shaft and jerked on the door, his weight might cause the car to fall. So they had been working on securing the car with more cables so that it would be safe enough to do a rescue of them. It was slow going and it seemed to not be working too well at all.

Just then the doors to the elevator were pried open. They had fallen down enough to be by the next floor. A fireman called out to them. "Give me your hand. We're gonna get you two kids out of here now."

Milo said "Ladies first."

Now Georgie really was terrified. She was closer to safety than she had been in hours, though the car was not completely even with the floor so she couldn't just walk out, but her heart raced because of that short drop. Her life had flashed before her eyes.

She had wasted so much time. Never dating because her crushes fell for other people instead of her and she just kept quiet about her feelings for them. Never told Spinelli she was into him. Never told Matt. They both guessed in time but they were into other people by then. Now Spinelli was marrying her sister and Matt was sleeping with Sam McCall. While Georgie was alone, lonely, dating guys once or twice that did nothing for her just so she could say she had a date that year, and she was sick of it.

She wanted a life filled with hot sex, sweet slow love making, wild, mind blowing orgasms, anniversary presents, birthdays spent naked all day long- moving from the bed to the shower to the couch. Being young and sexy and free.

She wanted to live.

Looking at Milo she said "Thank you."

Then she crawled over and let the fireman lift her down onto the floor of the hotel. The elevator dropped again. Georgie screamed. It stopped after a half of foot. The fireman quickly helped Milo out.

Georgie heard the fireman talking among themselves about the cables not holding the weight for much longer. She never thought, when they were trapped, until the last few minutes, that they were in real danger.

She could have died and all she had been thinking about was screwing Milo's brains out. A guy who wanted Lulu. Damn. Sometimes she really could be foolish over men.

But she didn't care if she was foolish right now.

She had survived and she wanted to really savor this day. This life. Him. Georgie threw herself against Milo, wrapping her arms around him. He rubbed her back.

He murmured "We're okay."

She looked up and into his eyes. "What a day, huh?"

"What a day, Georgie.......Hey....Georgie?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have a date for the wedding?"

"Not yet, Milo."

A long moment passed.

The firemen were all around, doing their jobs, but Georgie couldn't see them. She could just see a pair of dark, tempting eyes. Eyes that made her want to live her life in a brand new style than she had before. A sensual, smiling every morning because she had great sex the night before, style.

"Georgie....uh.....do you think you'd like to be my date to Spinelli and Maxie's wedding? Best man. Maid of honor. Seems right, don't it?"

She thought it did. But they had to get a few things straight first. Georgie was not about to play second string to that blonde another time.

"Hmmm," Georgie slipped out of his arms "you wanted Lulu."

"I know...but...uh...she never really wanted me."

"I always have questioned her intelligence. I know she's a friend and all but....really....you can do better."

"She's nice. But she's not you."

Georgie smiled.

Carly and Max came running down the hall. They had been up on the higher floor. They sometimes called down through the shaft to talk to Georgie and Milo while they were stuck. They had to take the stairs down to see them and that's what took a minute.

Carly and Max talked over each other about Milo being safe, hugged him and kissed his cheeks.

"Okay!" Milo said, blushing. "I'm fine."

"GEORGIE!" Mac came bounding out of the stairwell. She was pulled into a hug by her father.

"I'm okay, Dad. I'm fine. Milo took care of me."

Mac gave Georgie a very loving, relieved look. Then he shot Milo a look that said: Never touch my daughter again!

Georgie didn't care if her Dad didn't like Milo. She liked Milo. A lot. He had so many good qualities. She had known him for years. He ate at Kelly's all the time. He was a good tipper. He was smart. Loyal. Sensitive.

And so freaking hot that getting stuck alone with him made her want to rip his clothes off- and quick.

Mac said "Lets get you home, sweetie."

"Okay, Dad." Georgie let him lead her toward the stairs. She looked over her shoulder. "Talk to you later, Milo....I'll be online tonight, if you want to IM me."

He nodded.

When Georgie and Mac were walking down the stairs, he started talking about how scared he had been for her. She said "I wasn't scared till the end."

"Thank God you're not hurt. I hope you take this as a sign."

"I am."

"To not come back to this hotel that is owned by a mobster's ex-wife. That elevator could have been tampered with."

"Was it?"

"I don't know but I intend to find out. Georgie....I heard you say that Giambetti guy should meet you online....you know that's a bad idea. Maxie is already marrying one mobster."

"I guess it runs in our blood."

"Sweetie! Don't be glib. I love you and I want better for you."

"I want the best for me, too."

"So does that mean that you'll give Tyler another chance?"

She felt like groaning. He was a lab partner of hers that fell for her and came over to the house all the time to study last semester. Mac liked him. Georgie was glad when the class ended and she could stop seeing him.

"Sorry, Dad," she said, as they walked downstairs. "Life is meant to be lived to its fullest. I can't settle for Tyler. Not with Milo around."

Mac stopped and stared at Georgie.

She smiled. "Sorry, Dad."

He shook his head, in misery.

She kept smiling sweetly.

"Oh, sweetie, I just don't know why my girls do this kind of stuff to me. Can you tell me why?"

"We just follow our hearts."

"I hate that Dr. Hunter. This is all his fault."

Georgie chuckled. Her crush on Matt was well known in their family. To her embarrassment. Mac thought a doctor looked like a good choice now, compared to a mobster.

Mac started walking downstairs again, muttering, "Damn it all to hell," as he did.

She was too old for him to stop her from doing anything. She was moving out in a few weeks to her first apartment, because she graduated college in May. She was all grown up.

And she would have sex with whoever she wanted. And who did she want?

The sweetest bad boy in all of Port Charles. Nobody else was going to do. It had to Milo. Hot, sexy, muscle bound, white undershirt wearing, slightly sweating in the summer heat.....

She really had to get these fantasies under control. Georgie had no doubt that the reality was sure to blow her mind.

**THE END**

This is the first time I ever wrote Georgie and Milo. This one shot is based on the Beyonce and Jay z song, Upgrade You.


	132. Drown The Whole World, Glo

**Revised history. **

**Note- **Diego never attacked Maxie or Georgie. His hit list was: Carly, Emily, Sam, Alexis, Liz, Kate.

Sam for shooting him and Alexis for killing Luis. The others for loving Sonny and Jason.

**Drown the Whole World**

**Georgie and Logan**

**December 2007**

"Aw, don't cry, Princess," Logan murmured as he took a seat next to her in the empty church.

Diego's coffin was a few feet in front of them. The only people attending the burial would be Georgie, Logan, Cooper, Maxie, Brooklyn and Spinelli. And they were all only coming there for Georgie.

Even Skye refused to attend with Lila Rae.

Georgie knew it was painful for Skye to know what Diego turned into after Lorenzo's death, it was very heart wrenching for Georgie to know too, but she still felt Skye was being extremely selfish. The autopsy showed Diego had a brain tumor that made him act violently and be obsessed with revenge.

What he did to Leticia Juarez had been horrendous. But Diego would have never done that if he was well. And maybe he would have been well if someone...anyone...got him out of the mob life before he was forced to fake his death and live far from home in a South American jungle like a fugitive. That didn't happen though. Neither Lorenzo or Skye could parent Diego enough to keep him from wanting to be a badass gangster.

Finally be somebody. That is all he really wanted. He died wanting that more than he wanted anything else. Maybe he had even died still being in love with Georgie. Now she would never know.

She couldn't seem to stop crying today no matter how hard she tried.

Logan pulled some napkins out of his pocket and offered one to her. "I bet you didn't think I'd come prepared. See there? I'm not completely useless."

She wiped her eyes and looked at him. "No," she said seriously "you're not."

Logan wasn't that much different than Diego. Georgie didn't know why she never noticed that before. They both were so desperate to find a place in this world to belong. A family to love and be loved by. To get power and money and respect to make up for all the times when they were little boys and had none.

That desperation made them talk a little too loud, scheme a little too much, and their tempers flare a little too fast. But it all came from fear. A fear they would never be more than the little boys longing for home, family and love. Security. Safety.

Maybe she didn't see the sensitive, scared side of Logan before because she didn't want to remember Diego, the man she thought died in mob violence when she was still carrying a torch for him. Only recently, in the last few months, had she felt strong enough to think of dating again.

And then she thought of Spinelli when she imagined falling in love again. She begged him to get out of the mob. He could be good for her. He was so smart and stable.

Her heart couldn't take loving another bad boy.

But Logan had set his sights on her ever since the day he was in Kelly's when the radio there played an announcement of breaking news. The Text Message Killer was caught. Hearing Diego's name and a snippet of the story- how he was presumed dead before and then shot dead that night by Jason Morgan- she passed out, straight into Logan's arms.

When she woke up he was carrying her to his truck, and then he took her to General Hospital. He wouldn't leave her side. She sobbed and sobbed, after talking to her Dad on the phone and learning it was true about Diego. Later Logan went to the morgue with her....and there he was....her dark eyed former love.....gone crazy, turned into a monster, dead.

That night she wondered what made him so evil. It would be days before she learned he was never evil at all. He was just ill with a disease that went untreated and ravaged his brain, making him unlike he ever would have been otherwise.

In those bad days before the autopsy results, Logan kept calling Georgie to check on her. They would talk for a long time, the hours slipping away. She had taken time off work because she was an emotional wreck.

During one of those long, emotionally revealing conversations, is when she mentioned her mother was an Aztec Princess. And now Georgie was Logan's princess. She didn't know what to think of that. There were a lot of reasons why she should push him away. They didn't have a lot in common. (He liked Nascar, fixing cars, country music, tv dramas about medicine, football, beer, cussing and getting in fist fights. She liked opera, classical literature, modern art, European history, and politics). He wasn't over Lulu. She used to be so pissed at Logan for his mean and reckless ways. Georgie and Logan had every reason to ignore the connection they were now feeling for each other.

But seeing Diego in his coffin reminded Georgie of one thing: life was short.

So she leaned over and pressed a kiss to Logan's cheek. "Thank you for being amazing this week."

His breath hitched in the back of his throat. "Think nothing of it."

"I appreciate it. You."

"Sure thing."

Just then Spinelli came tripping in. He had drug along Lulu. They were nearly best friends. Georgie should have figured she might tag along. Logan stood up. The moment was broken.

The funeral took place. Georgie gave a eulogy. Brooklyn sang Blowin in the Wind by Bob Dylan. Afterwards Maxie, Cooper and Georgie went to get coffee, with Cooper trying to cheer Georgie up. Spinelli rushed off to work because Jason called. And Lulu asked Logan for a ride home.

It was hours later when Georgie's cell rang. She was laying on the couch in her living room. She knew she'd never be able to get to sleep tonight. All she could see in her mind was Diego in his coffin.

Looking at her phone she smiled when she saw who was calling her. "Hi, Lo."

"Princess."

"I guess Lulu isn't sleeping over tonight, huh? So you have time for me again."

"Aw, don't be that way. I just gave her a ride home."

"Its not my business. Thank you for coming to the funeral.....You didn't even know Diego."

"I know you. And I know you needed me there."

"I really did."

"So....you wanna hear some good news?"

"I could use some today."

"I'm done with Lulu, girl. I told her tonight."

Georgie bounded upright. Her heart raced. "What brought that on?"

He chuckled.

The sound made her spine tingle. She smiled slightly

He asked "What do you think brought it on, girl? You did."

There was a long silence. It grew nerve wracking. Logan cleared his throat and asked, hesitantly, with all his charm gone now, "Uh...Georgie....you think that's good news, don't ya?"

She whispered "I think its the best news I've heard all year."

He let out a breath. "Whew. You nearly made me pass out."

"Sorry. I just didn't expect...."

"It took us a long time to get to know each other but once we started to....it all just clicked. We click, Princess, and I'm smart enough to know I better not let you get away. Because if I would have seen you with some other guy's hands on you...while I was still with Lulu and trying to make something work that ain't never gonna work...I don't know what I might have done....probably beat him senseless for daring to touch the woman who only I should touch."

Her heart was racing a mile a minute now. "Lo..."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for doing this....for going for this with me...I've been so sad this week. I needed your support so much...and now that we got through it all...I thought I was going to lose you...lose hearing your voice every night before I go to sleep. And I hated thinking that.....you've really given me a reason to smile for the first time all week."

"Wanna smile some more?"

"Sure."

"Go open your front door." Click. He hung up.

She was in pajama pants and t-shirt. She grabbed her winter coat and put it on, then slipped on shoes. By the time she looked out the window, he was coming up the sidewalk.

Georgie pulled open the door. Without saying a word she ran outside and jumped in his arms. He hugged her close, as snow fell on them.

When she pulled back and looked up at him, she whispered "We can spend Christmas together now."

His eyes were dancing with light and joy. She'd never seen him so happy.

Logan said "I look forward to it."

"Its a little late or else I'd ask you in....but my Dad will be home from work any minute now."

"That's okay. I just wanted to see you tonight. See those brown eyes and make sure you know what you want."

"I was just waiting on you to know what you want."

"It was never a fair contest." He gave her a little grin. "You're miles above any other woman in the known universe."

She smiled widely. "Oh, okay, sure, I am."

"Georgie.....I'm sorry about your friend and I'm sorry that it took this tragedy happening for us to get to know each other better...but I'm glad we did....I can't be sorry it worked out this way."

"Diego was a good man once....and now he led me to another good man. You."

Logan chuckled. "I ain't never been called that before."

She caressed his cheek. "Get used to it. You're dating me now. I expect you to be a good man, nothing less will do...and I know you can....because you've been nothing but good to me this last week."

She brought her lips to his. Logan pulled her flush with his body. He murmured, as the kiss broke apart, "Princess...."

Just then Mac came home from work. His car door slammed. "What in the..."

"Hi, Dad!" Georgie called out. To Logan she whispered "You should go. Call me when you get home."

"I will, girl." He gave her another short kiss, which made her giggle and give him a look that said he was asking for trouble to do that in front of her dad.

Logan headed for his truck. "Good to see you, Commissioner."

Mac glared at him.

Georgie just watched as Logan drove away. Her lips were warm from his kiss, even though it was freezing cold outside. She was already counting the seconds till he called her and she could hear his southern drawl whisper over the phone lines "Princess."

It was good to be Logan's Princess. Much better than being his enemy. And much better than being his waitress. Finally they were starting to be real friends, and then they would be lovers, and then they would be true partners.

Princess. It wasn't a nickname she ever thought she'd like. But, against all odds, in the midst of heartache and pain, it became the one word that told Georgie Jones that everything was going to be all right again.

Princess. A word that now made her believe in hope and happy endings and Logan Hayes. She loved that word.

Princess. Logan's Princess. She could wait for a different guy to come along and notice her but she didn't want to anymore. She liked her bad boy who was becoming her good man much better than she'd ever like a sedate, properly groomed and educated, average Joe.

He wouldn't make her heart race half of fast as Logan could when he called her "Princess."

Georgie went back in the house, with Mac following her and grilling her about Logan, wearing a smile on her face. She had finally stopped crying that day. The small smile on her lips was the start of Georgie finding her way back to happiness again.

(_This is the story of a girl_

_who cried a river and drowned the whole world._

_._

_And while she looks so sad in photographs_

_I absolutely love her when she smiles-_

_when she smiles) _(Three Doors Down)

THE END


	133. Bones, Naudia

**Written for If Only in My Fantasies, unconventional couples site.**

**Prompt: better times are here/coming**

**Note-** I've been reading Naudia lately (Friendly Fire by Mindthegapper. I love that screen name. Awesomeness). So I'm feeling them again.

Claudia's history is revised in this. She took over the family business, never shot Michael, makes Sonny shake in his expensive Italian loafers, and Jason fantasizes about her daily. But she is lonely and alone at the Crimson Point mansion because Anthony is in Ferncliff and she set Johnny free to live and work away from home.

Meanwhile Nikolas' history is the same as the show. He dumped Nadine for Rebecca who is as wrong as wrong can be for him. He had his brief connection with Claudia when she was stabbed but decided she was in the wrong business for him- because of his son.

This all takes place on Karaoke Night, July, 2009.

**Bones**

**Nikolas and Claudia **

_Stick around after last call._

Nikolas reads the napkin that Claudia has just passed him, while he's standing at the bar at Jake's. He shoves the note in his pocket before sitting back down in his seat at a table he shares with his friends.

The rest of the night he can not keep his eyes from moving to the corner where Claudia has a table. She sits there alone, with a glass and a bottle of whiskey, in her tight red leather dress. Looking like a walking, talking, sinful downfall.

Its never more clear than on this night- as Rebecca sings girlishly and pretends she is sexy and grown- that Nikolas has led himself astray this last year. Because when his eyes connect with Claudia's, it is only then that he feels like himself again.

Down in his bones, he feels Claudia sinking into him. Understanding him. Seeing him. Knowing the loneliness he suffers. The isolation. She is braver than him. She lives with her demons and her ghosts everyday in her mansion. She doesn't try to make love out of thin air- his favorite past time these last few years. She doesn't believe in fairytales.

She doesn't want him to buy her a pretty dress and tell her lies. Take her to bed and pretend that he really felt something, other than that it was better to be with her than alone another night. Claudia does not need Nikolas to save her life.

He knew that last year when he walked away from their flirtation. What he didn't count on was that maybe..._Yes, its quite possible indeed,_ he thinks as he fakes a laugh for Rebecca, _I may need Claudia to save me from myself._

Real. Looking into her dark, teasing eyes he feels real again.

She winks. He missed her. Never knowing it was her. He thought the ache that was still in his gut, in his bones, in him and not going away, was all Emily.

But Emily, his beautiful bride and princess, has lost her place inside of him now. He's grieved and he's made her only a memory.

His ache has a new name. His longing a new face. His temptation wears a read dress.

And if you are smart.....you'll call her Ms. Zacchara, and show the proper respect when you do so.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ms. Zacchara," he nods with a grin on his lips.

The bar is empty now. He pretended he was leaving, when his friends left, only to double back, paid off Coleman and now he stands across the room from where she is shooting pool and admire hers- as only a man who has gone without the thrill of a woman of her caliber can admire someone.

She makes his mouth water. He licks at his lips.

"You remember me? I'm flattered." Her tone is all teasing. She crinkles her nose. She's not like this with anyone else on earth. He doesn't have to be with her everyday to know that. She's different with him.

They are alive when they are together. Dead when they are apart.

He feels guilty he left her out in the world alone for a whole year. It couldn't have been easy. She had no one in town to rely but her brother and Nikolas knows, because of Lulu, that Claudia gave Johnny his freedom months ago.

Now she is alone.

Nikolas should have never allowed her to feel that way. But he did. Because he was so busy trying to make Rebecca be Emily. Its disgusts him now. But he'll focus on cleaning up that mess tomorrow.

Tonight is for them.

He walks slowly over to her. She sits on the pool table and crosses her legs. Getting very close to her but not touching her he whispers, in an intimate tone, "I remember."

Out of nowhere, she tells him, with a sneer on her lips "Just so you know, I don't like your new girlfriend."

He chuckles. "That does not surprise me."

"Dump her ass."

His eyes hold hers for a long moment. "Lets talk of other matters first. You wanted to see me?"

She wraps her arms around his neck. "Yes....I wanted to see you."

Another long look between them- deciding they want this and have to have it - and then his lips are on hers. The dragon is unleashed. He can't hold back. He needs this. He needs her. This tastes right- her whiskey drenched tongue tangling with his. This feels right- down to his bones. This is what desire is. This is what connection is.

This is reality. This is messy, ugly, wrong. He's cheating on Rebecca. Claudia is a threat to Nikolas' peaceful existence. He swore he would not bring another threat near his son.

Still he kisses her. Pushes her back onto the pool table and crawls on after her. Rips off his shirt, undershirt, belt, unbuttons his pants, stares into her eyes...they're lit up....he knows she hasn't looked at another man like this in a year. Lansing meant nothing. No one meant anything to her but Nikolas.

He knows it. His bones know it.

She sits up and starts to kiss his chest. He threads his fingers through her hair. She looks up at him and says "She'll never be me."

No, she won't. And tomorrow she won't be in Nikolas' life anymore.

He captures Claudia's lips in a kiss that is full of more intensity than he's known in a kiss for years and years. Something is rumbling to life in him as he makes love to her on that green felt. Taking her hard and fast but with a sweet desperation she understands better than anyone else he ever met.

And the something that is rumbling to life as he moans in pleasure?

Its his soul. Its him. Nikolas Cassadine is coming back to life again and he's doing it with a pair of red stiletto heels digging in his back.

THE END


	134. The Slow Burn, part 1, Glo

**Note**- No TMK in this. Anthony Zacchara was the sole person torturing everyone at the Black and White Ball. This is a Glo story. There is 3M in parts seven and eight only.

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part One**

**Thursday**

**November1st, 2007**

One kiss on one crazy night and now her life made no sense at all. Now Georgie's skin set fire when Logan walked into Kelly's diner. She couldn't let herself get like this over him. She refused to have sexual fantasies for a man like him.

He was nothing but crazy and reckless. So not her type. But his kisses were amazing. And beneath his life wrecking exterior- his clenched jaw, angry eyes, and cocky mouth- he was brave and he had tried to save her life just the day before.

It made everything a jumble in her mind. She knew he was the same guy who slept with her sister only months before and that he was in a tug of war with Johnny over Lulu. She knew he drank too often and punched out too many people. She knew he was not the man she should ever think about inviting into her bed.

But his kiss....that kiss....it made it hard to think straight.

"Hey, Georgie, can I get some coffee?" Logan asked

She licked her lips and swallowed hard. Her eyes darted to his mouth.

"Georgie?"

"Oh! Sure. Coming right up."

_Stop, _she told herself, _just stop this nonsense. _

He was not acting weird over the kiss so why should she? He kissed plenty of people since he moved to Port Charles. So what that the only man she had kissed in the last year was Logan? And that she had liked his kiss. Loved it actually. Just about passed out in ecstasy over it. And so what that her body was tingling now just because he was nearby?

Sexual chemistry. It meant nothing. Nothing. Less than nothing.

Georgie poured the coffee. She was very proud of herself because her hand did not shake out all. Still, just smelling his cologne, brought back a flashback of their kiss and left her body thumping with desire:

"_Georgie!" he screamed her name into the wind. _

_The storm was really kicking up now. It wasn't safe to be outside on the island but Georgie felt she had no choice. Maxie had went searching for Cooper and that meant Georgie needed to search for Maxie. They were safest together. Her sister couldn't be stabbed like Ric Lansing just because she was alone and helpless. As soon as Georgie heard Ric was stabbed and whoever did it was on the loose she made up her mind: she had to get to her sister._

_Georgie ran out of the ballroom, after arguing with Robin over what she planned to do, and she figured that Logan must have followed her once he realized she wasn't in that candle lit room anymore. She didn't know why he would bother. They didn't even like each other._

_Logan caught up to her as she trekked across the lawn. In the foyer she had ran into Jason Morgan who told Georgie that Maxie was last seen in the barn with Spinelli, Nadine and Lulu. She felt better that they were all together but she really wanted to see her sister for herself. If they had to fight for their lives then they should fight together. _

_Georgie could never live with herself if Maxie was killed while Georgie stayed safe in the ballroom._

_Logan grabbed her arm and spun her around. "Are you out of your damn mind?"_

"_Leave go of me!"_

"_You need to come back inside the house."_

"_I have to get to Maxie in the barm."_

"_All you're gonna get is yourself killed in the process."_

"_Go find Lulu! Worry about her. I'm good!" She jerked her arm away._

"_You're smarter than this!"_

"_Smart? SMART?" she yelled over the storm as rain pounded on them. "What has that ever gotten me? I need my sister! You don't understand because all you care about is screwing around! I care about my family!"_

_Logan shook his head, at her stubbornness. "Coop is gonna kick my ass if you get hurt tonight when I could have stopped it. Now no more nonsense, lets go!" He grabbed her arm. She refused to cooperate and he ended up jerking her forward. She slammed against his body._

_Their eyes held on each other. She couldn't even breath. All she could feel was his muscular, wet body against hers. His eyes searched hers. She was in shock at what she was feeling. It was undeniable- the instant hunger and need that coursed through her- the ache to kiss him taking over her brain without her having any say so about it. She moved her lips a little towards his and stopped short....then he closed the gap and crashed his lips down onto hers. The kiss was sensual and breath stealing._

_He scooped her off her feet and carried her inside. She didn't say a word. She couldn't form a thought in her head, other than: Do that again!_

_Logan set her in the ballroom, hissing at her in a low and intense whisper, "Stay. I mean it. You'll piss me off so bad if you so much as take one step toward that door again. You leave finding Maxie and Coop to me." _

_He walked away from her, stopping only to tell Lucky Spencer to not let Georgie leave unless Lucky wanted to be knocked out by Logan at a later date. Logan hurried out of the ballroom, gun in hand. Cooper was out there somewhere in the dark mansion and Logan needed to go be his back up._

_Georgie hadn't seen him for the rest of the night but her lips burned with his kiss._

_Okay, _Georgie told herself as she walked around the counter and went to wait on a table_, Logan and I kissed. It was a mutual thing brought on by desperate circumstances which are now over so there is absolutely no reason to think about it anymore._

Yeah right. All she was doing was thinking about it. Damn, he was one hell of a kisser. Too bad his heart beat only for Lulu.

And that he was so mean all the time. And that he was a cheater. And that he hadn't even brought up their kiss now that he saw her again.

_Life goes on,_ Georgie told herself. But she was still shivering with pent-up desire for a certain bad boy.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Logan could not believe how his body was reacting to seeing Georgie again. It was as if he had no control over himself, even in the slightest.

He couldn't believe how overheated he was getting in the middle of a diner over her. Everything had changed with her and him in a blink.

One minute they saw nothing worthwhile in each other and the next he was afraid she was about to get killed...and he remembered that before she hated him so much he had found her sweet, sexy, smart, funny, loyal and just amazing in ways that no one else he ever met was...and he couldn't let someone as wonderful as her get hurt. He knew she was a good girl way back when he first moved to town. But he hadn't wanted to screw her back then.

He did now. He wanted it so bad he could still taste her on his tongue- because his memory was that strong of their one, hot kiss.

He had chased her out of that ballroom because he didn't want her to be killed in a senseless act of violence. He kissed her because when she was pressed against him her dark eyes had flared with lust and suddenly nothing on earth mattered but tasting her.

So he did. Now he would never forget the taste and feel of her, the sound she made in the back of her throat when he sucked on her tongue, the feel of the raining hitting them, the way his heart raced over kissing her.

Alive. He was alive again. Not half numb and scared like he felt for months- since the moment Maxie walked out of his apartment after they had sex and he knew that she was not going to come back again and that Cooper would find out.

Because of that fear Logan tried to cling even harder to Lulu- last night was no exception, he took her to the Ball and pretended she wasn't flirting with Johnny and didn't disappear for hours while Johnny was also unaccounted for- but now he could see that was just a bad joke he played on himself. The same as kissing Georgie. Cause she had no interest in him.

Now that he knew how good Georgie tasted it was gonna be torture to be near her.

As he was caught up in these thoughts Lulu came into the diner and sat next to him. "Hey....I lost track of you last night."

"Yeah."

"My Dad made it through his heart surgery."

"That's real good."

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

"I guess so. Sure. Why not? Lead the way."

Logan followed Lulu out. As he pushed through the doors he looked back over his shoulder and locked eyes with Georgie. She just stared him down with a gaze that said one word: Typical.

Yeah it was typical for him to follow behind Lulu's ass but why should Georgie care? It wasn't like she so much as smiled at him tonight, let alone brought up their kiss.

It was just a kiss. He'd forget about it one of these years. He just needed to convince himself it was not the hottest kiss he ever had in his life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Georgie got home from work she turned on her computer and sent Brooklyn an e-mail:

_Just like I figured, he is still all about Lulu. She can have him because Logan is nothing but trouble with a capital T. Such a player!_

_Our kiss meant nothing to him._

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lulu pressed her lips to Logan's, as they stood on the docks, and he did his best to get into the kiss. She was the woman he loved. The one he fought to get back after he hurt her by cheating on her. He was determined to be a good man for her.

No matter how much he messed up, and how many times she hurt him by going around Johnny, he always thought it was worth it to keep struggling to make things work with Lulu.

Till right that moment. When her kiss felt all wrong.

He jerked back from her. "I can't keep doing this with you."

"You're still mad I danced with Johnny last night? It was nothing. I'll stay away from him."

"Don't bother."

"Logan-"

"I can't believe we're at this point. We're so fucked up now! I wanted you so much. I wanted a life with you. I wanted to share my place with you."

"You wanted me so bad that you screwed me over and got with Maxie!"

"You wanna know why I could do that so easily? Because we're all wrong together. All wrong. And I'm done!" When he walked away he told himself that him breaking up with Lulu had not a thing to do with him thinking he would ever get with Georgie.

Not a thing.

It was a well known fact that Georgie found Logan to be scum. He thought the same thing about himself sometimes. She wasn't about to give him a chance out of thin air. And he wasn't about to beg her for a chance.

Still that didn't mean he could settle for kisses that were not as hot as hers. He had tasted Georgie now and he'd never be satisfied with any woman who didn't kiss as good as her again. He needed a woman that made him feel as much as Georgie had.

He'd find that woman who gave better kisses than Georgie somewhere. She just would not be a sweet, brown eyed, college girl because he had already messed up too much with Georgie for her to give him any second chances.

It was a shame. She tasted absolutely amazing. She made him feel amazing in that moment in the rain. Like some kind of hero. Like someone she needed to tell her the sane choice to make in a moment when her heart was telling her to be crazy. He could use a hero like that right back.

But his hero would not be named Georgie, he knew that. He just had to get it through his thick head.


	135. sb,2

**Storyline note**- Leyla was never hurt at the Ball.

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Two**

**Friday**

**November2nd, 2007**

Even though Logan told himself that it would be smart to stay away from Georgie for a while- till his intense sexual desire for her cooled some- he found himself sitting right back at the counter in the diner the next night.

He spent all day job hunting. He was frustrated and tired. Driving home he thought about how empty and lonely his place would be. Then he cranked the wheel of his truck and turned down Elm Street- heading for Kelly's.

He liked their chilli.

While he was sitting there, and Georgie was ignoring him, Johnny and Lulu came in together. They took a table. Logan heard Lulu's voice before he turned and caught sight of her.

Turning back around, he found Georgie's sympathetic gaze on him.

Great! Pity. Just freaking fantastic. She felt sorry for him. That made him bristle.

She leaned over the counter. Softly she told him "Remember if you punch him I'll have to call my father and report you for assault and then you'll end up in court and I'll have to testify. Is it really worth it?"

She always did think he was such a hot head loser

He told her "Don't stress. I ain't gonna punch nobody."

He felt like adding: Mind your own business!

But he didn't add that because she was close to him and he was staring into her eyes....and then his anger and annoyance slipped away, replaced by a smoking hot desire to reach out and cup the back of her neck, keeping her still, so he could slam his lips into hers.

Just knowing how good it would feel was messing with him something fierce.

"Good," Georgie murmured. Her tongue darted out and licked at her lips. She whispered in a tone he thought sounded pretty filled with lust "I always hate it when you get all out of control."

"You wanna talk out of control?" His voice was filled with hunger.

"Hey," a customer called out "can I get a refill on Coke?"

Georgie straightened. She threw Logan an annoyed look and walked away. He pursed his lips. Whatever. He didn't need her being all snotty to him again.

He'd had enough of that to last his whole life. He took out his wallet and threw some cash on the counter then left. He must have imagined her tone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Was he flirting with me_? Georgie thought as she worked at Kelly's later _The nerve of him! Lulu dumps him for Johnny and the very next day he's rethinking boring, rule following, me. Thinking he can lure me into his bed because he's lonely now. Can he even spend one day without hitting on someone he is trying to screw? AHHHHH! Well it won't be me!_

"Waitress! I need more coffee."

Logan was driving her to distraction and making her mess up her job. Damn him. Why did that kiss have to happen?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Saturday **

**November 3rd, 2007**

Logan talked Cooper into not being pissed at him long enough for them to go to Jake's together that night. It would be a long, frustrating weekend for Logan. He couldn't look for a job on the weekend and he had no girlfriend anymore to take his mind off his miserable life.

Sitting at the bar he was talking to Cooper about sports when he heard a woman laughing. Looking over he saw Georgie was walking in with a friend- a dark haired woman about her same age. They were smiling, both lit up, and cracking up over something.

He lost his breath. Had she always been this hot?

He remembered thinking when he first met her that she had one of the best bodies he ever was lucky enough to get next to. But he had quickly realized she wasn't about to be into him for nothing. She was sweet- at first- but shy and quiet and giving off a "Stay back!" vibe like she had been hurt by someone in the past.

Logan quickly got obsessed with Lulu, made bets with Maxie, and managed to tick off Georgie to the point where he really thought she just about hated him. He knew he screwed up a lot but didn't a church girl like her believe in forgiveness?

Cooper caught Logan staring at Georgie. After tossing Logan a warning look, Cooper stood up and said "I'm going to say hello."

He walked over to their table. Logan sat on his stool and watched from a distance. He could easily hear them because the bar was not all that big. At that moment no music was playing on the jukebox either.

"Hi," Cooper said to the women.

"Coop! Hello. This is my best friend Brooklyn Ashton. She's in town for the weekend. Brooklyn this is Cooper Barrett. He's a cop and all around fantastic guy."

Cooper blushed and shook his head in an aw shucks way. Logan let out a frustrated breath over how Georgie fawned over Cooper.

Brooklyn said "Hi! I had to drag her here. Tell her its not a crime to be here if we just want to listen to music and play pool."

Cooper said "It kinda is but I won't run you two in. Can I get you some drinks?"

They told him they both wanted diet sodas. Georgie tried to give him money but he wouldn't take it. Her "Thank you," was so genuine and sweet that Logan felt jealousy course through his veins over the fact that she had such positive thoughts about his best friend.

Lucky for me, Logan told himself, as his jaw clenched, that I don't give a good damn if I ever even talk to that girl again, let alone kiss her.

It wasn't completely true but he tried to make himself believe that. Believe that he was not reliving their kiss every five minutes in his head.

As Cooper headed back to the bar, Brooklyn and Georgie's eyes both landed on Logan. His body was a traitor to his mind because he immediately got hot and turned on by the way Georgie was looking at him. He felt like he was being pulled towards her by an invisible force.

He stood up to head over there. Just then another woman came up to the bar. She pressed against him as she went by. "Oh, excuse me. I just wanted another round."

"Sure thing, darlin. Let me get out of your way."

"I'm Leyla Mir, by the way. Not that you asked. But I am. Would you and your buddy like to join me and my friend for a drink? Her name is Nadine. I think you made her acquaintance at the party- if you call that blood bath a party- on Spoon Island a few days back."

Logan glanced over at the table and spotted a blonde. She looked like she would rather crawl beneath the table in embarrassment than have her friend be hitting on Logan for her.

"That is such a nice offer, darlin, but-" he grinned at her, trying to let her down easy.

Just then he heard Georgie tell Brooklyn "Do you see how disgusting he is? Anything in a skirt!"

_Screw you!_ Logan thought. _You don't know me like that_.

Of course what she did know- stuff like the sex bet- made him look horrible but he wasn't giving her any benefit of the doubt in that moment.

He told Leyla "I couldn't let you buy this round. I'll treat you and your cute friend."

It took a few minutes to buy the drinks and get settled at the table. Logan quickly remembered Nadine from the Ball. She was the chick who rambled a mile a minute and reminded him of Spinelli. His head started to hurt right away.

Meanwhile Cooper was still chatting up Georgie and giving Logan a look that said he wasn't thrilled about Logan promising that Coop would join his table. Cooper was still very much in love with Maxie and everyone who knew him- especially Logan- knew that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"He really makes the rounds, doesn't he?" Brooklyn asked Cooper, nodding at Logan.

"Uh...he's friendly, yeah. Except when he's not and that's when the world really better back up off him."

"Hmpf," Brooklyn said. "So he's not capable of fidelity?"

"Uh..." Cooper took a drink of his beer. "The best answer I can give you for that one is that he just broke up with his girlfriend and he's not in the place to start dating again, if you were interested."

"He's hot, that's for sure. Isn't he, Georgie?"

Georgie reddened in response and said nothing.

Brooklyn went on "But I don't go for players. Is he just a player, Cooper? Your buddy a no-good dog? Inquiring minds want to know."

As Cooper sat there looking like he was a deer caught in headlights, aware that Logan might overhear them and throw the bar up for grabs if he did not like Cooper's answer while at the same time knowing he could not tell this stranger that Logan was in the place to start a new relationship because Cooper did not feel he was.

Georgie broke the silence and said "I think the evidence speaks for itself!"

Then she got up and went to the jukebox.

Cooper changed the subject. "So I hear you're a singer?"

He'd rather talk to Georgie's friend than join Logan at the table with those two sexy nurses from GH. He'd seen them there before when he took perps in for treatment. Cooper certainly did not need to lead either one on.

He wouldn't be getting in anybody's bed anytime soon unless he found his way back into Maxie's.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie could not believe her girls night out was being ruined by Logan. It was one thing for him to be at Jake's. It's a free country after all.

But for him to give her that lust filled look and then start to walk over to her, only to be distracted by the first sex kitten who wandered by. Wow. That had to be a new record for him. He couldn't focus on her for five seconds in a row.

Not that she wanted him to.

She stabbed at the buttons on the jukebox, after putting a dollar in, and then froze up when she heard a southern twang directly behind her say "You better go gentle. Those machines ain't cheap."

She turned and glared at him.

He said "Nadine wants me to play her a song."

"Well, go ahead then."

"You don't seem in the best mood."

"I'm perfectly fine."

Her song started. It was Love Bites by Def Leppard.

Logan chuckled and teased her "Well ain't that an upbeat choice there, darlin?"

"Pick your song for Nadine."

"I'll get to it. You don't got to baby sit me. Head on back to Coop. Its clear that's where you really wanna be."

"What does that comment mean? You think I'm hitting on Maxie's ex? You really are sick, Logan!"

Georgie stomped off. She plopped back in her seat. She told Brooklyn "He gets worse every day!"

Cooper let out a breath. "Don't let him get under your skin."

"I really can't understand how he thinks," Georgie ranted "Sex means nothing to him. Its just a big game! Its about seeing who can win the woman everyone is after or who can score first with the sexiest woman around or how far he can get with someone before she slaps him senseless. Its ridiculous!"

"I wouldn't go that far," Cooper said. "He really had strong feelings for Lulu. But it was a mess from the start. Logan caused some of it and she caused some."

Georgie ranted "Who can trust a guy who makes sex bets? I can't."

They heard Leyla ask Logan "Sex bet? Is she talking about you? What is a sexual bet exactly?"

"Pay her no mind, darlin."

Brooklyn told Georgie "Everyone makes mistakes, you know."

"Sure but most people learn from them," Georgie said.

Cooper guzzled down his beer.

Brooklyn said "Enough with talking about bad boys and their bad behavior. Its bringing me down. Lets play pool."

"Fine," Georgie said, tensely.

As she walked over to the table, she noticed that Leyla and Nadine were making a quick exit. After they were gone, Logan angrily walked over to Georgie "Well, are you happy with yourself? That tantrum sent those ladies running out of here thinking I'm some kind of pervert."

"Because they heard the truth. I know you'd prefer to pretend like things that happened never happened but life doesn't work that way," Georgie told him.

Their eyes met and both filled with heat and also pain. Sparks flew through the air.

After a moment of that, Brooklyn cleared her throat. "Uh, hey, I'm Brooke! I've heard...things...about you. Good to put a hot body to a face... or I mean," she winked at Georgie "a face to a hot body. Oh, did I say that aloud?"

Logan broke eye contact with Georgie. "Nice to meet ya, doll. You got a great CD there."

"You know my music?"

"I've heard mention of you before from Georgie. Back when she used to talk to me and not bite my head off for daring to breathe in her company."

Brooklyn smiled. "You shoot pool? Why don't you and Cooper play me and Georgie?"

"Brooke," Georgie hissed.

Great. Just great, she thought, Being around Logan longer. It would only make her have twice as many fantasies about him.

Even knowing he was not a nice guy did not stop her from craving him.

Logan threw Georgie a smug glance, as if to say: See? She likes me just fine. What's your problem?

He said to Brooklyn "Love to, doll." He called out to Cooper, who was ordering another beer, "Get your ass over here, buddy. We got a game to win."


	136. sb, 3

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Three**

**Sunday**

**November 4th, 2007**

It was painful to watch. Seeing it unfold hurt Georgie's heart.

Logan came down from upstairs at Kelly's and spotted Lucy Coe and Tina Baldwin eating lunch.

He stopped in his tracks, looking like he was dying to go over there but that he was terrified of rejection. He ended up just sitting at the counter. He reached over it and grabbed a coffee pot, pouring some.

Georgie didn't even yell at him.

He muttered "No comment? I'm surprised you aren't about to call the cops on me. You can relax. I'll pay for this coffee."

Letting out a short breath she whispered to him "Can we talk in private?"

His eyes jerked up. "Where?"

"Kitchen."

She headed in there, wiping her hands on her apron as she did, and trying to fight off her nerves. She knew it would be hard to resist the physical reaction her body had to him ever since that kiss. It mattered not if she was mad, sad, or what she was feeling, in the moment. Her body only knew he was nearby and that got her hot. Her body wanted another kiss from him. Her mind did not. Because if he ever kissed her again he should really want to kiss her....not just anyone would do, like it seemed to always be with him.

If he couldn't have Lulu, his one true love, then he would just screw around with whoever. And never care if they got hurt. That is how Georgie saw it, at least.

Even though she felt this way about Logan that did not mean she did not have sympathy for the situation he found himself in with Scott. As a father Scott was letting Logan down at every turn. Logan certainly did not deserve that.

She turned around, in the kitchen, and faced him "First off, sorry about last night. I wasn't drinking but maybe it seemed that way because I let my emotions get away from me. Its is not my business how you conduct your sex life."

The last sentence came out to sound like she was very disgusted by his choices.

He said "Nope, it ain't. About time you realized that."

She grimaced but decided not to throw back a mean remark. That would be childish and she let herself act that way too much around Logan. Always ranting at him. As if he really cared what she thought about his bad boy behavior. He obviously could care less.

Still she wanted to help him in a small way, if she could, because it was the right and kind thing to do. "Secondly, Logan, I can introduce you to Tina if you want me to. My Mom and Lucy were best friends before my Mom moved to Texas, so I know Serena and Tina really good."

He seemed shocked for a moment. "Uh....why would you do that for me?"

"Because family is important to me. Everyone should be as close to their family as they can be. Do you feel that same way or not?"

"You ask that like you think I have no concern for anyone but myself. When are you gonna cut me a break?"

"Right now. Take it. Meet your sister."

He rubbed his head. "I don't know....if Scott don't want me to..."

"Since when do you care about what Scott wants? I wouldn't let my birth father keep me from my sibling. No way. If you're nervous..."

"Did I say that?"

"If you are, that's normal."

"I just don't know that she'd be receptive to it."

"I think she would be."

"I just don't know. I don't wanna mess up my one chance with her."

"Your sister really like banana splits. How about I make you all some desserts and we'll take it over there and break the ice? Yes or no? I have to get back to my other customers."

"Uh..."

"Logan," she said softly "you never know till you try with her."

"You suddenly care?"

"I care about Tina. Just because I think you don't make good boyfriend material does not mean I think you wouldn't be an excellent brother for her. Its completely different. Do you care about getting to know her or not? I think you do but maybe I'm wrong."

"I do care about my sister, Georgie. You don't know how hard this is though."

"You won't get a relationship with her without taking a risk. I'm here to help you....all you have to do is take my help."

After a long moment he said "Okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once Tina and Lucy left the diner, Logan walked back over to the counter, wearing a huge smile. He placed both hands on the counter and leaned over it. "Thank you. That worked like a charm."

"You're welcome."

"Well, look at us. A team."

"Weird."

"Uh...well...I owe you one, Georgie. I know you don't think a lot of me but you could see past our differences and help me out. I really appreciate it. It reminds me...."

"What?" Her eyes searched his, as her voice got softer. "What does it remind you of?"

"That we didn't always hate each other."

Her eyes hardened. "I never said I hate you. I don't get you."

"You think I'm a pig, don't you? Just admit it. I can take it."

"Yes."

"Wow. That hurt more than I thought it would."

She shrugged. "I just call it like I see it."

"Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go before all of my buzz wears off. See you around, girl."

"Hold on a second, Logan."

He turned back around. Their eyes held for a long moment. He wondered if she felt bad about putting him down. She looked pensive and thoughtful.

Finally Georgie asked "Would you like Serena's phone number? She's kept the same cell since she left town a couple years back. She goes to school in Paris now. I haven't mentioned you to her but I could....if you wanted. See if she would like to connect."

"I don't get why you try so hard to help me out when you can't say enough bad things about me."

"And I don't know why you keep acting like I'm making up all the stuff you've done."

"What have I done? Other than with Maxie, which is none of your damn business, what have I done to make you get so pissy with me? What did I ever do to you? Not what I've done to your sister and your friend. You."

"I have to work! Do you want the number or not?"

"Yeah, I do."

She grabbed her phone and read off the number. Logan left without saying another word. He stared at her from outside, through the glass. She was pretty and caring- about everyone but him- and so amazing. But she wouldn't even let herself believe for a second he could be a good man to bring into her heart.

Logan told himself that was fine with him. He didn't need anymore drama with chicks anyway. Lulu had been enough to last ten lifetimes for him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Thursday**

**November 8th, 2007**

Logan could not believe that he ended up alone in Georgie's car with her. It turned out that Tina had been bugging Lucy for days to let her see Logan again. But since Lucy did not know Logan she asked Georgie to tag along when Logan took Tina out for pizza.

The dinner went well and they dropped Tina off at home. She asked them to go to a movie on Sunday afternoon. Logan had expected Georgie to grimace at the idea but she smiled and said she'd love to.

That smile. It did things to Logan. It never had before their kiss but that kiss was so phenomenal that it made him see her completely different. In a sensual and sexual way, a romantic way, a complicated way, a longing filled way, an angrier way sometimes when she was tough on him. It just turned him upside down.

He said, as he drove her home, "You've been great about this. I know you had better things to do today and on Sunday but thank you for saying yes to Tina. If I can pay you back someday with a favor, just say so."

"Okay."

"What kind of movie do you think she'll pick? A cartoon?"

"She's in middle school. Probably something aimed at teenagers instead of little kids."

"Really? I guess I see her as a kid. She has pig tails for goodness sakes."

Georgie grinned. "She's a very sweet child but she's growing up fast. Soon she'll be going to dances and having a boyfriend." For a moment they listened to the radio and then Georgie asked "So what happened when you talked to Serena?"

"She seemed pissed that Scott hadn't told her about me and you had to do it."

"Yeah, she did seem mad when I talked to her too. Not at having a brother but at being kept in the dark. I was hoping that wore off by the time you called her....don't take her anger personal."

"It's cool. She seemed like a great chick."

"I'm glad its working out with you getting to know your sisters."

"You've been a big help, Georgie."

"I'm glad I could do this for you."

Georgie pulled to stop at a red light.

Logan turned and looked at her as he asked"Does this mean we're friends now?"

Their eyes held on each other's. Thoughts of their rainy, tongue tangling kiss shot into his mind.

He leaned closer to her "What do you say? Wanna play nice from now on?"

Her eyes hooded with lust. He swore he was not imagining it. She leaned closer to him- just a slight bit.

HONK!

Logan startled. The light had changed. She drove through the intersection.

Georgie said, in a whisper, "We could try to be friends."

"Okay. Sounds good. Friends then."

"We'll try. Who knows that it will work," she muttered.

He snapped at her "Well you don't got to be so negative!"

"Don't you start screaming at me, Logan!"

He calmed down. "Sorry."

"Why do you flip out so fast?"

"Its just...."

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm too harsh sometimes. I know that."

"No one throws my mistakes in my face faster than you. I just feel like I can't win for losing with you. We had a nice time with my sister but I don't think two grown adults should need an eleven year old as an escort in order to not go at each other. Its just a damn shame, Georgie."

"If you already changed your mind about being friends then just say so."

"I could use another friend. God knows I ain't sure Coop is gonna put up with my ass much longer, especially if he don't get back with your sister. Every time he looks at me he blames me for that stupidity I got myself into with her."

"So you regret it now?"

"I messed up. Coop's a good buddy. I shouldn't have done him that way."

"At least you see that now."

"Do you hear yourself? Would you just stop and listen to yourself and hear how you sound for once?"

"What, Logan?"

"You act like I'm too selfish to even know I screwed up. I know what I did. I live with it every day. Its kills me just a little more every day. Is that honest enough for you?"

She just sat there silently. But he didn't feel anger washing off of her. It felt like she was finally listening to him for once. Finally hearing him. Finally willing to at least cut him the tiniest bit of slack so they could reach a new understanding.

He didn't expect the crazy sexual heat between them now to lead to sex, but he would be happy if she could keep helping him connect with his sisters. Helping him make his life better.

Georgie, when she was happy, made the world such a better place. His world a better place.

When she dropped him off at his apartment she asked "So do you want to call me about the movie on Sunday?"

"You'd have to give me your number for that."

"Obviously."

He smirked at her and took out his phone. "Go ahead." He put the number in as she told it to him. "And now I have the digits for another hot babe."

She let out a huff of angry air.

Logan added, in a confused tone, "I never seen someone get so mad about being called hot."

"I'm different than most woman you know."

"Yeah."

Their eyes held again. The air got thick with sexual tension. He couldn't take his eyes off her lips. Those pouty perfect soft lips.

She said "Good bye then, Logan."

"Wait a second...tell me something....are we ever gonna talk about that kiss or what?"

Her eyes widened. "Kiss?" she choked out, in a strangled tone.


	137. sb, 4

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Four**

**Thursday**

**November 8th, 2007**

Georgie couldn't believe that she actually had a nice dinner with Logan. Of course, Tina had been there too and that meant that Georgie and Logan were on their best behavior. Still, be that as it may, it went really well.

She loved seeing him interact with his sister. He was so sweet to her and a natural as a big brother. Suddenly she saw him differently. The man he was with Tina was a man she wanted to always be around.

Georgie drove them because his truck only fit two people. Now she was dropping him off at home, after agreeing to try and be his friend, and he had to go bring up their kiss. It shocked her to have this out in the open between them now.

"Tell me something," he had just said to her. "Are we ever gonna talk about that kiss or what?"

_Oh my God, what am I supposed to say_? she thought.

The kiss was so amazing that it felt like a dream. If not for the intense chemistry that it kicked into gear between her and Logan, Georgie would be sure that it was just a wild fantasy she imagined.

The rain pelting them. Him sucking on her tongue. Her fingers in his wet hair.

"Kiss?" she choked out, in a strangled tone.

"Don't play like you forgot we kissed last week at that party."

She swallowed hard. "It was a one time thing."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

He shook his head. "You're right. It was a one time thing says it all. Bye, Georgie. See you Sunday." He climbed out of her car.

She watched him walk up the sidewalk and go into his apartment. She sat there stunned and very let down. She wanted his lips back on hers.

Georgie wondered if she had said the exact wrong thing to Logan.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan walked inside his apartment and sat on the couch. He hung his head._ It was a one time thing_, repeated in his brain.

It shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't be like a knife in his heart. It shouldn't even sting at all.

It shouldn't but it did. It hurt. Bad. His male pride was wounded and beyond that he felt like she still saw him as The Unworthy One.

He didn't want to care. Then he thought about her sweet smile and her good heart and her sexy kiss. If she fell for him, and stopped being so down on him all the time, it would have changed his whole life.

If she looked at him like she looked at Cooper or Spinelli- like he was a good man, like she wanted him to be her man- he just might feel like the man he was trying to become.

Whole. Sane. Content. Loved.

But she didn't want to see past his mistakes. Maybe he shouldn't blame her. He had made a lot of screw ups. It just stung to know he made so many that he had no chance with her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Saturday **

**November 10th, 2007**

"Maybe I should come along tomorrow," Maxie said as she walked into Georgie's bedroom. "I don't like you taking on this project. This _Save Logan _project. I think I need to be around to keep his dirty hands off you."

"Its not a project. He's my friend now, or we are trying to be, and I want him to get to know his sisters. You care about Tina and Serena too. I would think you would support this."

"I don't have any problem with them knowing each other. I don't think its up to us to make it happen though."

"Scott was dragging his feet. He was hurting Logan."

"Georgie, so what? So what if Logan was hurting? How is that your problem?"

"How can you sleep with someone and then totally not care about his pain?"

"It was just hot sex. Not love. It was a hook up and it cost me big time."

"Whatever, Maxie. I just don't get hooking up, I guess."

"Good. Its not something you should try to get familiar with anyway. Just know, if your name isn't Lulu, Logan will not fall in love with you."

"Thanks for the pep talk. By the way, I'm not looking for him to fall in love with me. So its not really an issue. I understand that no one will replace Lulu in his heart and I'm not trying to."

Maxie studied her for a long moment. "Lie. Total lie. You're falling for him."

"You're wrong. I need to study. I don't have time to debate my non-existent feelings for Logan."

"You might not want to admit it but something has changed between you two and it really is worrying me big time. Big time! Do you know that you're playing with fire?"

Georgie opened back up her book and started reading.

Maxie added "He better not burn you or else he'll deal with me. And believe me he don't want that day to come. So....should I come along to that movie tomorrow?"

"No. Its unnecessary. I don't need you chaperoning me."

Maxie let out a frustrated breath. "I'm gonna go call this dirty bastard and put him on warning." Maxie hurried from the room.

Georgie chased her down and grabbed the phone out of her hand. "Don't even think about it! You'll embarrass me. I'm not going to date Logan. He knows that already."

"So he did hit on you?"

"We kissed once."

"Oh my God!" Maxie cried before pausing. She studied Georgie closely. "So? How was it? Do you want to kiss him again?"

"Maxie, just forget about all this. We kissed and its over and we both know its not going anywhere. He cares about Lulu and would be with her if she hadn't picked Johnny. I don't want to be his rebound or his second choice."

"That does not sound like 'It sucked and I don't want to do it again.' "

Georgie blushed.

Maxie rolled her eyes. "Just cause it was hot don't think that means something."

"I don't."

"Just be smart, okay? Hot, sexy kisses are very far from love, take it from me."

"I know that."

"I really hope you do. I hope so."

"Believe me I do."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Sunday**

**November 11th, 2007**

He was so cute with kids. So cute. She loved the side of Logan that Tina brought out. Protective. Fun loving. Tender.

It was irresistible.

They had a wonderful day together. Georgie swore that she could fall in love with the man he was around his sister. She wore a sweet smile when Logan got back in the car after walking his sister to the door.

He stared at her for a long moment. Then he reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. His hand dropped again.

The moment lingered.

Georgie got lost in staring into his eyes. Those light cool eyes that showed his soul. In that moment she forgot all about their ugly, screaming, confusing and hurtful past.

She was just happy. Sharing a moment with a man who was good to his kid sister. Sweet. Kind. She loved the man he was around Tina. When her and Logan were with Tina they were so nice to each other, respectful, considerate, kind, happy together. They were all she wanted to have for herself every day of her life.

"Thank you again, Georgie."

"No problem."

"I really appreciate this."

"I had a good time."

"Good."

"Do you have to get straight home?" she asked him.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I'm craving chocolate. Would you like to get some ice cream? I probably should have thought of it when we still had Tina but..."

"Sure. I'm buying."

She started her car and pulled back into the road. "Really, you don't have to treat me. I know you're between jobs right now."

"I actually did find a job. I'm gonna be a security guard on the Haunted Star."

Georgie tensed. "Oh.....did Lulu get you that job?"

"Nope. I don't think her father cares much that we broke up. He seems to like the idea of holding it over Scott that he is employing Scott's kid. I don't care what the hell Luke is thinking as long as my paychecks don't bounce."

"Well, congratulations on the new job. Will it be awkward if you run into Lulu there often? Or are you two on good terms again?"

"I don't so much as look at her. Let her be Johnny's problem now."

"It must be hard to see them together."

"I'll get over it."

"I'm surprised you didn't get in a fist fight with Johnny again since she broke up with you for him. Or have you and I just didn't hear about it?"

"I know you think I get in fights every day but I don't. And this time there ain't jack to fight over. I could have let Lulu keep going back and forth between us but I pulled the plug on that shit. I dumped her."

Georgie eyes jerked over to Logan. "You did?"

"What's so shocking about that? You think I couldn't see the writing on the wall? She's dating him now so I guess I was right."

"I just didn't think...I thought you loved her. I didn't think you could walk away from her.... Its not my business anyway. It has nothing to do with me so I should stay out of it."

"You wanna hear something crazy, Georgie?" He said in a frustrated tone. "I did love Lulu. I just loved kissing you more."

"What?" she breathed out.

"You heard me."

The way he said it told her that he didn't expect her to care at all but she did care. She was stunned. This changed everything for her.

Georgie pulled the car into a parking lot and parked. She turned and looked at him, whispering, "Repeat that last part."

His eyes grew dark with desire but also had insecurities dueling in their depths. "Don't play with me. I ain't in the mood to be toyed with by you."

Georgie leaned very close to him and murmured "Say it again and it better be the truth."

"I broke up with Lulu because I couldn't kiss her knowing how much better it was with you."

She let out a small, shaky breath. "Oh....wow."

His eyes searched hers. They were an inch apart. He whispered, his voice half teasing and half insecure, "But since it was a one time thing for you...."

"Shut up," she whispered back, as she smiled, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Logan grinned slightly. "Make me."

She brought her lips to his. Their second kiss was sweeter and softer than the first. It was a gentle exploration of what they could mean to each other- if they got honest instead of snarky for once.


	138. sb, 5

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Five**

**Sunday**

**November 11th, 2007**

His soul felt her kiss.

It shocked Logan how much he loved kissing Georgie. How right it felt. How it seemed like more than simple kissing. It seemed like he could hear his life clicking into place when they were mouth-to-mouth.

He never planned to tell her the truth about why he broke up with Lulu. He didn't plan to tell anyone ever. Because it would only reveal how much kissing Georgie once had got to him.

But then Georgie started going on about how he should feel bad over Lulu being with Johnny. Logan did feel bad about that. It hurt to know how it all turned out. How easily Lulu replaced him. Still it didn't make him want to go back to her.

Because he would only compare her kiss to Georgie's and find Lulu lacking.

He needed this kiss he was getting now, in the front seat of Georgie's two door Saturn, her arms around his neck, her breasts pressed to his chest, their tongues gently caressing each other.

He tugged her even closer and she giggled against his lips in pure happiness. He loved that sound. He had no idea that she would react this way if he told her the truth. Maybe he should be more honest with her more often. Who knew where they could get if he did?

Their kiss grew more intense now that she was practically in Logan's lap.

Georgie broke their kiss to get a quick gulp of air but then she started kissing him again, giving him shorter and more sensual kisses, as her fingers played in his hair.

She whispered to him, after moving her mouth an inch back, "Tell me you want only me and you won't kiss anyone else as long as we're together."

"Only you, Georgie."

"You'll be faithful to me?"

"I swear to God."

"Am I rushing you?"

"Not a bit."

She kissed him again and it got a lot more heated. She started to moan into his mouth. His back hit the window behind him. Georgie seemed to be coming more and more alive with every kiss.

Logan felt like he was doing the same. He could be faithful to these kisses. He could give up anything to get more of this. It felt like what he had been chasing his whole life.

It was beyond intoxicating. He was changed every time she kissed him or let him kiss her.

Her breasts rubbing against his chest set off a tingling sensation in him that shot straight down to his groin. He was so unbelievably turned on that he just had to ask her, his tone breathless, "Hey, you wanna go back to my place?"

If she freaked out then he would apologize like crazy and tell her she just made him so hot he just couldn't think straight.

Surprisingly, she smiled and whispered "Yes."

He stopped breathing.

Suddenly Georgie got shy. She slid away from him. She was flushed and breathing erratically. Her shaky hand started the car. She didn't look at him as she drove. "Any stops?"

"Huh?"

Logan could not think. Was she really about to sleep with him or was he imagining this?

She whispered "We have to use something."

"Oh. Right. Okay. Yeah, we should stop."

He really might pass out. If their kisses were like this....what would it be like to make love to Georgie? And why was she trusting him in this way? He felt nervous, breathless and confused.

Completely dazed. Georgie had stunned him again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kissing him felt so good. She needed more. She had to have more. It wasn't fair that everyone else she knew could throw themselves into hot sexual relationships and she just sat home reading books.

No more.

She wanted this. She wanted to kiss him for hours. She wanted to feel his mouth all over her. She wanted him to be inside of her. She wanted to believe he would be faithful.

If he really was....they could keep doing this for months and months. They could figure out the rest as they went along.

He might not be a good man every second of the day but he was a great man when he wanted to be. When he was with his kid sister. When he tried to protect Georgie from Anthony Zacchara. When he told her it was killing him to know how he hurt Cooper. That good man Logan was in those moments was the one she wanted to make love with. That was the man she was trusting today.

He broke up with Lulu for her. Georgie could think that Logan was lying about that but she could hear the honesty in his voice. Hear his heart begging her to really take another look at him.

So she did. And she saw the man she wanted most. She wouldn't let fear or rules stop her now.

Today was her day to feel what being alive was all about.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie sat in the car in front of the drug store. She pressed her hands to her face. She was burning up. Her skin tingled from head to toe.

_Please God let this be more than just good sex,_ sheprayed. _Let him be someone I can love._

Maybe it was wrong to pray about unmarried sex but she so wanted this connection with someone. It was more than a year since her divorce and she'd never felt this kind of rush over any other man since then. She wanted it to not be dirty and cheap. She wanted a real bond. Real commitment. Real trust. A revealing of his heart for her.

That thought alone made her breathless. To hear more of his confessions like when he first moved to town and would sit at the counter making conversation with her. She didn't fall for him then but she liked him...till she learned about the sex bet.

Now that was in the past. And the future was wide open. One kiss started this and the way their kisses felt made her now reconsider every single thing she ever knew before about love and sex.

Georgie watched Logan walk out of the store and then climb back in her car. He looked at her. "Are we still good?"

"I'm not changing my mind. Are you?"

"I just didn't think you were like this."

Tears welled in her eyes. She shrank into herself. Did he think she was a slut?

Logan's eyes widened at her reaction. His hand rose and caressed her cheek. "I'm just surprised but not in a bad way. You're absolutely beautiful. I want this so bad, Georgie."

She whimpered "Not just one time, okay? Not just hooking up."

He nodded.

She hugged him. Into his ear she whispered "I don't think its wrong.....it feels so right....it can't be wrong....I won't believe that. Just tell me its important for you too."

"Believe me, girl, this means everything to me right now."

"Really? Because I'm trusting you so much so don't lie to me. If you want to just call this off....do it the traditional way and date for a while...I can. I like that way. But you have to really step up and be a man and say that. If this isn't going to be making love for you....don't use me....be a man, Logan. Be my man."

He pulled back so that he could kiss her. Their mouths met in a heated, emotional lip lock. "Let me make love to you, Georgie."

She nodded.

She knew that he could just be saying whatever he had to in order to get sex. Time would tell. But for her this would be the first time she made love with this man who she wanted to get to know in a whole new way....the man she was trusting to grow up right along with her...to slowly shed his fears and his anger....as she shed hers. To love her back.

If he could not love her right now-because they weren't close enough yet- then one day. She just needed to feel like this was not a one time thing for a quick thrill. Because that is the last thing she wanted.

She wanted his kiss every day now. It was just that good. She was insane over his kiss and nothing else on earth mattered now. Not the rules she lived by and not the mistakes he made before.

If she was being foolish then she would deal with it later. But for today she wanted Logan to kiss her until she was weeping with relief. She really believed he could do that.... he could bring that much emotion out of her. And after she cried....he could make love to her again until she was smiling.

Until her smile was brilliant and real for the first time in a long time. The smile of a woman who had no doubts that she was adored.


	139. sb, 6

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Six**

**Sunday**

**November 11th, 2007**

Georgie parked in front of Logan's house. They climbed out of her car. He took her hand and led her up to the door of his apartment. He unlocked the door and they went inside.

There was a nervous energy in the air. He let out a short breath. "If you change your mind, girl, just say the word stop. It don't matter how late in the game it is, okay?"

With wide eyes, she nodded. "Okay....I'll be back in a minute."

"Sure."

She took off her coat, set down her purse, kicked off her shoes and pulled off her socks. She did this all while not looking at him. Then she headed for the bathroom. Once the door closed Logan let out another long breath that he had been holding in as he watched her walk across the room.

He could hardly believe it was just a little more than a week ago when they first kissed. That kissed made him look at the world a different way. He didn't want to settle for less than kisses that felt just as amazing.

And now he wouldn't have to. Now this woman who was smart, sexy, tough, loyal, kind, generous, sweet, demanding and giving was letting him into her life, heart and body.

He never had a gift like this before. And she gave it so easily.

Logan thought about that for a long minute before he took off his coat, took his wallet out and threw it on the table, threw down his keys, kicked off his shoes and took off his socks, opened the box of condoms and set them inside the night stand.

He decided to change the sheets and went to work on that. It wasn't that Lulu had been over recently- she hadn't let him make love to her in quite a while- but he wanted the bed to be freshly made and comfortable for Georgie.

His nerves were wired. His gut clenched with desire.

He had to trust her to know what she wanted and trust himself to not hurt her somewhere down the road. It would break him in two if Georgie changed her mind tomorrow about him, and it would break him in two if he hurt her one day. So he had to pray neither happened.

Fear would not stop him this time. He needed faith. Their kisses were too powerful to not believe in with all he had.

She stepped out of the bathroom. Her eyes were very wide and her breathing very shallow.

He asked "How about some music? Would you like that or no?"

"I don't know," she said, her voice breaking. "Whatever you want."

Logan rushed over to her side. "Are you okay?"

Looking into his eyes, she begged "Kiss me again and make me okay."

He gave her a very soft, gentle, romantic kiss that didn't ask for anything more.

Georgie told him, as their eyes held each other, "I haven't been with anyone since I got divorced. You were right....I'm not like this."

He deflated. It sounded like she was backing out. He told himself that he needed to be mature about this. For her. For their tommorows.

Logan stepped back. He looked down. He let out short breaths. "Are you saying this ain't gonna happen?"

He heard a whooshing of fabric and caught a glimpse of something floating through the air. When he looked up Georgie had her shirt off and stood there in a white bra.

She grabbed the back of his neck. "Its happening," she whispered as she brought her lips to his.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie had her fears and her doubts but she knew she wanted to jump into this with Logan. Their kisses made her feel like a woman and not a little girl playing at grown up.

She needed this feeling so much that she would risk the heartbreak he might cause her later. She'd just pray that he wanted to be happy with her. To make love every day for months and months. She wouldn't think about years right now.

Just months. She needed months of this. Then she might be able to be rational again.

She would not apologize for needing this. Every woman needs a man to make her feel sexy. Every person needs a partner. Everyone wants to love and give love. If their kisses didn't mean they should be all this for each other than she had no clue why the world was the way it was.

Their kisses had to be God saying:_ Its okay. Trust in love_.

Logan broke their kiss and pulled off his shirt. Georgie's mouth watered at the sight of him. She bit her bottom lip. Her hand went to the button on her jeans. She undid it. He let out a shaky breath. She slid down her zipper. Pushing her pants over her hips she slid them off and stepped out of them.

Now she only wore her white panties and bra. She felt exposed but in a beautiful way. A trusting way. A vulnerable way.

Logan took off his pants.

Her breathing became even louder. He stepped close to her. His hand went to her hips. She shivered with desire at the sparks it sent off it feel his touch on her bare skin.

Logan started kissing Georgie's neck. She whimpered emotionally as all her walls fell down, shattering around their feet.

He murmured, against her skin, as his mouth moved to lay kisses on the swells of her breasts "Beautiful....perfect....you're my dream."

Her hands rose to hold the back of his head. Tears came to her eyes. He licked between her breasts. Getting down on his knees he kissed her stomach. Her legs started shaking.

She wondered if he was feeling as much as she was.

_Please God. Please God. I won't ask for anything else ever,_ she prayed, _Just him. Just let it stay good between us for a while. I need something beautiful to call my own._

His mouth moved down to her hips, laying soft kisses, and then her thighs. She slightly opened her legs. He lay a kiss on the center of the front of her panties. Her whole body shudder.

In a blink he was on his feet, pulling her against his body and kissing her wildly. They fell onto the bed together. The feel of his muscular, hard, heated body on hers made her completely breathless.

Tears were still in her eyes as it all felt overwhelmingly emotional to her. Georgie moaned and gasped and whimpered as Logan kissed her then rolled her over so she was on top of him. His fingers undid her bra. It slipped forward.

Goose bumps covered her from head to toe.

She was about to show her breasts to this man she wasn't even sure she liked two weeks ago. But that was before he kissed her, before they spent time with his sister and they felt like two adults who could get along, and that was before he broke up with Lulu just because Lulu was not able to make him feel what Georgie did with her kiss.

For Georgie it made it even better that Logan did not rush from breaking up with Lulu to pound on her door and beg her to be with him that night. Because she would have felt like he'd be right back with Lulu after one night of quenching his hunger for Georgie.

But he didn't do that.

He broke up with Lulu without knowing if he ever would get a shot with Georgie and without pushing for her to be his rebound. It felt organic the way they were coming together. Not a game. Not a bet. Not a fling. Not based on lies. Not hiding who they really were. Not hiding their bitterness and rage. Not pretending they were perfect. They were imperfect people but this felt perfect.

Georgie straddled Logan, holding her bra in place as she sat up. She looked down and into his eyes. She took her free hand and brushed his hair back. She lovingly caressed his face. He turned his head and kissed her palm.

Georgie took off her bra.

Logan's breathing was labored. She lifted his hands and placed them on her breasts, with her hands covering his. He massaged her breasts.

She bit her bottom lip and moaned. She threw back her head. Her hands went down to caress his chest. His thumb and forefinger pinched her nipple and rubbed it until she was withering on top of him. He sat up, easing her back some, and his mouth closed around her breast, while his arm wrapped around her waist. She felt the hard length of him pressing against her as she locked her legs around his back.

She arched into his loving suckling. Sensations rushed through her whole body. She was getting wetter and wetter. She knew this was right. It was so right.

They could fall in love if they just let themselves.

"Logan, please, please, please..." she whimpered, desperate to make this act complete for the first time for them.

She wanted that full connection with him and she wanted it now.

He lay her back on the bed. Logan reached in the night stand and took out a condom. He slipped out of his boxers. Taking himself in his hands he slid the condom on.

Georgie's eyes were locked on him as he did this. She couldn't catch her breath. This seemed like a dream. It seemed like heaven. It seemed like home to her. The home she didn't know she was missing till Logan kissed her at the Ball. Then she found out about things she didn't even know existed.

About deep connections that defied logic but were real. She hadn't wanted to admit it then but it was true. They needed to be together to go from messed up, ordinary people to amazing, extraordinary people who lived a life filled with this intense, unbelievable, soul healing beautiful thing that sparked every time they kissed.

Logan lay over Georgie. She could feel him between her legs. He started to kiss her again. Their kisses were slow, sensual, intense, and desperately emotional. Her hands ran over his back. She traced her fingers down his spine.

The feel of him teasing against her panties made her whimper.

She pushed at her panties. He reached down and yanked them off. His fingers slid over her as he lay back down and kissed her some more. She moaned even louder as his fingers gently caressed her.

In a low whisper he ground out "Do you want this?"

"Yes."

"Do you know you're mine now?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how rare this is, Georgie?"

"Yes."

He entered her shallowly. She squeezed her eyes shut. "Oh God, Logan," she said, wincing when pain and pleasure collided at the center of her.

He froze. "Stop?"

"Don't stop."

Soon they were joined together. He rested inside of her for a minute and then he began rocking slowly against her. "Georgie," he said, his voice choked with emotion.

He kissed her forehead.

"I love this, Logan....I love this."

Later he cuddled her close. A few minutes passed where they were just breathing hard and holding each other. Tears slid down her cheeks. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. He cupped his hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. He said "Don't be ashamed."

"I'm not going to cry every time, I promise."

"Just as long as there are more times."

She nodded. A moment passed. She smiled "Now?"

He grinned. He started kissing her again.

Soon they were having a very wild and loud time. His mouth was on her and she was screaming in pleasure. No man ever did what he was doing to her before. Not the way he was doing it, at least. Not making her feel like she was coming undone at the seams in the best possible way.

All their nerves were gone and they were free. Completely free.


	140. sb, 7

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Seven**

**Monday**

**November 12th, 2007**

She spent all day in school wondering when Logan might call her. She didn't have to work that night so she headed to the library.

Since his new job was at a casino Logan would only work Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights from three pm to three am. That meant he would have this night off.

Georgie got done at the library and went home. There she found that Logan had sent her flowers. He wrote his number on the card.

She called him right away.

"Hey there, Georgie," he said, his voice warm and intimate.

"Hi." She was suddenly shy again. She felt herself blushing as she thought of the day before.

"How was school today?"

"Just fine."

"Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"No. I was about to cook."

"Would you like to eat over at my place? Just dinner, I swear."

A little concerned that they were taking a step back, she asked "Why do you swear just dinner?"

"I just mean...uh...every time you come here we don't got to."

"That's good to know. But today....I really want to."

His next words came out in a rush, all low and intense,"Spend the night tonight with me."

"My Dad would be suspicious. He knows Brooke isn't in town so it would be hard to explain." The night before Georgie was home by midnight.

"You can't let him keep you from ever spending all night in my arms."

"You're right. I just need to work up to explaining about us."

"Okay. I can wait for that."

After a pause she said "I love these flowers you sent me. Who knew you were romantic?"

He chuckled. "Only for you, girl. Only for you."

She smiled. "I'll be over in a hour. Should I bring anything?"

"Just your smile."

"After yesterday you can expect to see me smiling around you a lot more often."

"Good."

"Okay, see you in a bit."

"See you soon, beautiful."

She hung up then walked to her closet to look for an outfit. She was still sore from the day before but she wanted him again. She wanted that intense connection they shared.

Georgie didn't regret making love with Logan. It was a beautiful experience. She just prayed they would stay beautiful.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan found himself nervous as hell as he made dinner for Georgie and waited for her to show up. He had cleaned his apartment from top to bottom. Making her happy was so important to him.

He didn't think they could slip back into their old, bitterness fueled routine of snapping at each other but he still feared maybe all they had discovered would disappear into thin air. That he'd lose her quickly. That she would change her mind and remember she believed him to a loser beyond saving.

He would hate for it to work out that way.

When he spoke to her on the phone a lot of his fears dissipated. She said she wanted to make love again today. But he needed to see her now. See her eyes. See the softness there- not the anger and distrust that used to flash there when she looked at him.

Knock. Knock.

He jogged over to the door and stopped. Letting out some short breaths, his hand closed around the handle. He rolled his head on his neck.

He could do this. He could be the man she wanted and needed most.

Logan pulled open the door.

Georgie stood there in a wool coat. Her hair was softly curled. The sides were pulled back with barrettes that had butterflies on them. She smiled sweetly. "Hi."

"Get on in here, beautiful."

She blushed and came inside. He helped her out of her coat and put it over a chair. Then they just naturally fell into each other arms, in a very slow and tender way. One of her arms wrapped around his neck. At the same time one of his went around her waist.

Languidly they brushed their noses against each other. Their lips almost touched.

She whispered "This is so right."

"Yeah, it is." His lips fluttered against hers.

She murmured to him "I want to talk tonight. Really talk."

It sounded a little scary but he was willing to try for her. To tell her things he never told her before. Things about his childhood and the war and why he hurt so bad inside. And he was ready to hear about her broken marriage and her fears and what she needed from him to feel safe.

"Okay," he whispered back, giving her another soft, barely there kiss.

"And then I want...." she said in a tone filled with desire.

He growled with desire. "Hell yeah. Me too." He kissed her passionately then and she started smiling and cooing in happiness at the change in him.

After a long, tongue tangling kiss where he cupped her ass and molded her pelvis to his, Logan finally stepped away from Georgie. He let out some short breaths. "I made broiled chicken and baked potatoes."

"You cooking for me." She smiled widely. "I never thought I'd live to see the day."

"I ain't a half bad cook either."

"Well show me what you got then."

With a grin he grabbed her hand and led her to the kitchen. When they were in there, getting plates, silverware and drinks out, she asked "So did you tell Cooper we're dating?"

"Yeah. Was that okay?"

"Sure. I just didn't tell Maxie yet. Just Brooklyn for now."

"You afraid your sister is gonna give you a hard time?"

"Oh, I know she will but that's okay. Its only because she loves me. I just didn't want to deal with it already."

"Okay....but we aren't sneaking around, right?"

"I don't want to. No."

"No way. We shouldn't have to. People can deal with it or just stay the hell out of our business."

Reacting to the harsh tone of his voice, Georgie set down everything in her hands and wrapped her arms around his waist. Looking in his eyes she tried to soothe the pain he felt at being judged by other people. She knew she did that to him in the past and that he deserved a lot of it but he now deserved a chance to change and improve and do better this time around than the last.

She said "It does not matter what Maxie, my Dad, Lulu or anyone says about me and you. I'll still want us just as much even if I have to get grief from them. I know we have something special."

"You didn't think so a few days back."

She slipped out of his arms. "That isn't now, Logan."

"One minute you were calling me disgusting at Jake's and then you were all over me. Fill in the gaps because I don't get it."

"Are you trying to start a fight with me?"

"No. I don't want this night messed up. That's the last thing I want. I just wondered. Forget about it."

He carried the plates and silverware to the other room and set them on the table. She carried the glasses. "We had a great time when we took your sister out....and it just made me see you differently. And then you said you ended things with Lulu for me. What else did I need to know? That says it all for me."

His eyes were soft with insecurities when he whispered "Does it, girl?"

She told him "It says you want to risk giving up her just because of the memory of us at the Ball."

"That kiss came out of nowhere."

"Thank God you followed me that night."

He grinned. "You left me no dang choice. What were you thinking?"

"I just can't lose Maxie. It made me act reckless to think about her being out there with a killer around. But after you promised to find her I saw reason. You had a gun and I had no weapon so it made sense for you to be the one to go out looking for Maxie and Cooper."

He nodded. "We all made it through. That night sucked big time. I know it scared you bad because of what happened. Hell it scared all of us. But I'll never regret putting on that monkey suit, putting up with Lulu's BS, and going out on that island that night. Because it got me one great kiss from one great woman."

She smiled. "Maybe its bad to base a relationship on great kisses but I think its important to connect that way. And then to have honesty, faithfulness and trust. We can have all that, can't we?"

"Sure thing, darlin. We can have all that and more." He pulled her into a hug. He buried his face against her hair as he squeezed her close to him. "God, I'm glad you're here tonight."

"Me too," she whispered. "I'm glad you want me here. And I'm glad that you can forget about any other woman you could have instead....because I need you to just be satisfied with only me. Can you?"

In response he kissed her until she remembered how right they were and then he said "I'd be a fool to mess with anyone else when I could be spending my nights with you."

She smiled. "Always remember that."

He chuckled. "Not a problem."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

They lay in bed, nude and spooned together, whispering back and forth about their childhood dreams. Georgie felt so close to Logan. She wondered if he ever felt like this with Lulu. She prayed he didn't.

He had just told Georgie that because he didn't have a Dad growing up he especially wanted to be a good Dad someday.

Georgie said "I bet you will be."

He smiled. She could feel his lips curving against her neck. "Oh yeah, why's that? All my fighting and cursing make you see the softer side of me somehow?"

"Because you're good with Tina. I fell for you when you were being so cute with her. Our kiss made me want more of your kisses. But that wasn't enough to make me want to be with you. It was seeing you with Tina. That made me want you to be like that more often....be that happy, be happy like that around me....be free."

"You do make me feel free, Georgie. I swear you do. I can't believe you saw all that in me though."

She smiled. "I can't believe you can overlook how many mean things I've said to you. Could you do that for anyone just as long as she started stripping in front of you?" Her tone was teasing.

He chuckled. "Truthfully, that would help," he joked and then got serious

"But nobody stripping for me now will get me to strip for them. No way. I want you and this."

"You're not mad at all anymore that I was so awful to you so many times?"

"Its not like I didn't earn it. Sometimes. And sometimes you just were expecting me to be a jackass and saw it even when I wasn't. But I never got really mad at you until after that Ball....because before I knew you were a good person deep down and you were just sticking up for your sister and your friends...but after the Ball it felt real personal."

She rolled over and gave him a soft kiss. "We should have talked about the kiss right away."

"Yeah."

"Lets always talk and not let misunderstandings mess us up."

"Good idea."

He ran his hands down her naked back and brought her right against him. He was half hard. Her hand reached down and stroked him. He moaned when he felt her fingers working over him, getting him harder with every stroke.

She kissed his neck. "Logan?" her question asked if he wanted to be with her again right now.

They were both overheated still and turned on from the first time they made love tonight.

His hand smoothed over her ass. She kept kissing his neck. Her breasts rubbed against his chest.

He grabbed another condom and then lifted her leg so that it was over his. Her smooth leg brushed his rougher, hair covered one, creating delicious sensations shooting through both of them. Together they led him inside of her and they made slow, emotional love to each other, staring in each other's eyes the whole time.


	141. sb, 8

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Eight**

**Tuesday**

**November 13th, 2007**

Georgie told Mike she wanted to work Thursday, Friday and Saturdays nights, the same schedule Logan had. Since she was Mike's best waitress and he knew she could easily move on to a much better job using her writing skills and her education, he readily agreed to flip the schedule around.

Having another day off that they could spend together, Georgie suggested they pick up Tina to go to a bookstore. They walked around the store, made a couple purchases and then hung out in the coffee shop area for a while.

Tina begged for Logan to promise to take her ice skating at Christmas.

"Sure thing, kid. Though you skate and I'll just watch cause we don't know nothing about ice in Texas."

Tina giggled. "I'll teach you how." She looked at Georgie. "You'll come too right?"

"If you want me to, yes, I'd like that."

"Cool." Tina said

Tina was missing Serena horribly. That much was now very clear to Georgie. And that contributed to why Tina clung so much to Georgie and Logan. She never let their days together end without finding out when they could get together again.

A moment later a thought struck Tina. "I know! A good way to teach Logan how to ice skate is to practice on roller skates." She looked at her brother. "I know they roller skate in Texas, right?"

Logan said "I guess some people do but I never did. You sure you wouldn't rather go line dancing?"

Tina giggled. "No! I don't like that kind of music. I like rap."

Logan shook his head, wearily. "You're killing me here. Rap. Do you hear this, Georgie?"

Georgie smiled. "If you want to introduce your sister to new music then download her some songs onto her ipod."

Tina said "I doubt I'd like them. All those country songs are depressing."

"You just ain't listening to the right ones," Logan grumbled, good naturedly. "Rap. Unbelievable. You best be playing the edited versions. I wanna check out that ipod, missy."

Tina loved all the attention and concern Logan showed her. It was probably because Scott had been gone three years and she missed that male presence in her world. Now Scott was home but who could say how much he saw her.

Georgie's heart swelled while she watched Logan and Tina interact. She loved when families got along well and she loved that she had helped them to connect. Most of all she loved the easy going smile Logan had when he was in the presence of his youngest sister.

Tina talked him into trying roller skating some time soon. After they dropped her off at home, Georgie drove away from the lighthouse.

"Any plans tonight?" she asked.

"Nope. What about you? You got anything in mind?" His tone drifted into a decidedly sexy place.

"Yes. Something."

His voice got even deeper. "Oh yeah. Something what? Will I like this something, girl?"

His hand closed around her thigh. Georgie's breathing became shallow. She smiled at him. "I asked Cooper-"

Logan let go of her leg abruptly.

She startled, while she was still driving, and tensed up. "What's wrong? Are you fighting with Coop again?"

"No. Nothing like that. I just can't think about what I was thinking about with you...then think about him...its like saying my Mom's name while we're in bed. Never do that, girl."

She burst into giggles. "You're so silly, Logan!"

He chuckled. "Its true. Some subjects got to stay far divided in my head."

She laughed some more. "Okay. Moving on....I asked Coop to have dinner with us at the Pizza Palace." She was still chuckling and rolling her eyes at his antics.

"And he said yes?"

"Yep. Is that okay?"

"Sure. I just never know if he likes me or hates me on any given day here lately."

"He loves you. And sometimes he gets mad at you but sometimes you give him no choice. Anyway, I thought dinner would be good for all of us. I would have asked Tina to come along but she has her math tutor tonight."

"I love how well you know my sisters."

"We've always been close."

"That's cool, darlin. I like how this all fits together with us...a lot."

"Me too." Her tone went from giddy to filled with desire. "Now about that something else you were mentioning...."

"Yeah?"

Softly she said "Just be really gentle tonight."

"Are you all right, Georgie?"

"Just be really gentle," she repeated. She wanted him so much but her body wasn't yet used to having sex every day like this.

"Okay," he whispered.

She stopped at a stop sign. She looked at him. Her eyes filled with love and trust. She leaned over and gave him a tender kiss before she started driving again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Cooper started the night a little worried about the fact that Logan was now in some kind of relationship with Georgie. He could not call it hooking up or a fling because when he called it both those things the day before Logan had flipped his lid on him.

So it was more- at least for Logan- than just simple sex.

That concerned Cooper because he knew Logan was barely two weeks out from ending things with Lulu. He really did not want Georgie used as a rebound woman. A soft pair of thighs to get buried between till Logan felt better about losing Lulu. That would be cruel to Georgie.

As the dinner went on Cooper saw so many little touches between the couple, secret stolen glances, and moments when they were sweet to each other that he loosened up. They did seem to have something good going for them. It shocked him but it looked to be true.

It made him miss Maxie so much that his heart literally hurt.

He walked out of the Pizza palace with a box of leftover pizza. He trailed behind Georgie and Logan. "I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Thank you for joining us," Georgie said.

Logan kissed her cheek and said "Warm up the car, darlin. Give me a minute, okay?"

Georgie nodded and headed for her Saturn. "Good night, Cooper."

"Night, Georgie."

When they were alone a silence descended around Cooper and Logan. Logan scuffed at the ground with his boot.

Cooper said "You really did find a good woman this time."

"I know that."

Another long silent moment passed before Logan looked up and said "If you were smart, buddy, you'd forget about your pride and go get Maxie back. Right now. Tonight."

"You stay out of it!"

"Nah! I ain't staying out of nothing! You can do whatever you want to me. Punch me again. Hate me some more. Not even speak to me. But I will tell you what I think about this."

"You don't get to say anything. This is all your FAULT! You ruined everything for me!" Cooper screamed at him "You ruined my life!"

Logan drug his hand down his face. "I know what I did was unforgivable and so wrong and so dirty. I know that. But you ain't proving nothing by staying away from her. She loves you. Not me! She never loved me at all and that's the God honest truth. You wanna give someone up? Then just hate me. It would be better that way. Better than you giving her up."

Cooper stormed over to his SUV. "Maybe you've hit on a good idea there, buddy!" He climbed inside, tossed the pizza box on the seat, fired up the SUV, and drove away with squealing tires and tears in his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan let out a ragged breath. He was shaking slightly as he stood there in the chilly night air. He saw on Cooper's face how much he missed Maxie and all Logan wanted was to kick his friend's ass it gear.

Not lose him from his life forever. But maybe that is what just happened.

Logan made his way across the lot and got into Georgie's car.

She said "I heard what he yelled at you. I'm sorry."

"It's the truth. Nothing can change that now," he said in a numb voice.

Georgie sat there silently.

Logan put his elbows on his knees and then covered his face with his hands. His breathing was erratic. He didn't cry but he was still a wreck. He hated to lose it in front of Georgie but Cooper was really the person he had counted on so much for years now. He couldn't believe he risked that friendship just because he was so hot for Maxie. It seemed stupid now. Maxie had never loved him. Why did he think she might? He could tell now it wasn't love...it was intense and wild and fun and wrong and forbidden....it was a good game and it was a good way to wreck themselves....but it was not love.

Logan felt Georgie's arm wrap around his back. She leaned close to him and whispered "He's your best friend and I know you two can work this out. He's been trying so hard for months now. Why would he try unless he loves you?"

Logan turned and hugged Georgie, clutching her tightly. He didn't say anything and he didn't break into tears, but the moment was filled with silent and powerful emotion.

After a minute he let her go and said "Lets get back to my place- quick."

She started the car and drove out of the parking lot.

XXXXXXXXXX

Cooper ended up parking at the curb in front of the Jones- Scorpio house. He stared at it for a long time. This is where the love of his life lived.

She hurt him so bad!

His heart was all torn up over her still. Each day was hard to get through. He put on a brave face, tried to be stoic, wanted to act mature. They could all be friends. Sure. Why not?

Only Cooper was left shy one soul mate in this whole bargain. Maxie must not feel that way because she was just fine dancing with Johnny at the ball. Smiling. Happy. And Logan had moved on like it never happened at all.

They didn't even love each other!

Maybe Cooper could grasp this whole horrible nightmare called his life better if Logan and Maxie were deeply in love. That would make his soul ache but he could get why they did that to him. If they were the ones who just had to run off together to Vegas- like Coop used to want to do with Maxie.

But they weren't!

They were not soulmates. This was his woman. His soulmate. His lover. Why would she be with his best friend? Why would someone he treated like a brother betray him in this worst way?

Why couldn't Cooper hate Maxie and Logan? Because he loved them, that's why. He wanted his life back. He wanted it all back. He wanted his dreams back.

But his heart was broken.

(When your dreaming with a broken heart,

the waking up

is the hardest part.

You roll outta bed and down on your kneesand for the moment

you can hardly breathe.

Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room?

No she's not, cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....) (John Mayer)

There was a light tapping on the passenger window. It knocked Cooper out of his daze. He rolled down the window. After he saw who it was, his eyes darted down.

Maxie was standing there. She had her coat clutched around her but not closed up. "Hey! What are you doing out here? I just happen to look outside..." her sentence died as he raised his eyes and showed her all his heartbreak. "Coop? What's the matter?"

"Get in."

She opened the door. He chuckled through his tears at the fact that she had on pajama pants and slippers. But his laugh faded away quickly and he let out a broken breath.

Maxie moved the pizza box to the back seat and then scooted as close to him as she could get. "Just tell me."

He asked her "How could you do that to us? Didn't you love me at all?"


	142. sb, 9

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Nine**

**Tuesday**

**November 13th, 2007**

Logan walked it his apartment, jerked off his coat and threw it down, then headed straight for the bathroom, saying nothing to Georgie. They hadn't talked on the car ride home.

He was in another emotional funk thinking that Cooper was done with him. This happened often since August. It was painful every time.

Logan went to the bathroom, washed his hands, and then stared in the mirror. Sometimes he hated himself. He really did.

Was he fooling himself to believe he could be good enough to Georgie that her heart would never ache over something he did to her? Would he cheat if another really hot blonde came along? The thought made him sick.

To see Georgie crying and moaning in pain because all his love turned into lies. He could imagine her saying just what Cooper did earlier that night:

"This is all your FAULT! You ruined everything for me! You ruined my life!"

Logan tore out of his clothes and got in the shower. It was a good place to cry for a guy who didn't want to be so emotional but he was born that way. Scott Baldwin's hot headed son who made a mess out of things.

Cooper made him his brother and just because Maxie was there...so hot...and Logan felt his heart leap over her....he risked losing his brother. He knew what he was doing and he did it. But Maxie didn't become the love of his life. And Cooper might not forgive his fuck up this time.

Cooper tried. He was a good man but he was just human. He could only try so hard. And Logan could only change so much. He would always be messed up in some ways.

He felt things so deeply.

Seeing his Ma crying when he was a boy, worrying about bills she couldn't pay and boyfriends who hit her, it scarred him. Seeing body parts laying on the roadside in Iraq and looking in the eyes of eighteen year old men who lives he was supposed to save but he was no doctor and he couldn't, that broke parts of him. And never having any woman love him- before these last few days with Georgie- made him a crazy man over every chick he dated in his life, Maxie and Lulu included. If you called either of those relationships dating. They were madness from start to finish. He loved them both, in his own way, but they didn't love him back enough to fix anything in him.

When Logan finally came out of the bathroom he looked very calm. Deadly calm. He was ready to tell Georgie she should leave. Not fight about it. Just pretend he wanted space and push her away for tonight, and then for good.

He was poison. Pure poison! And he knew it.

But then he saw Georgie. She was laying in his bed, completely nude, with just a white sheet over her, fast asleep. He knew he was in the shower a long time and that she had meant to wait up for him and make love to him.

Logan pulled off his clothes again. His heart melted at the sight of her. He got out his phone and called Maxie. He left a voicemail saying not to worry about Georgie. And not to bug Georgie about being with Logan. And not to tell Mac nothing. Just cover for Georgie somehow. And he added "Max, I'm still sorry, okay? I know it ain't much. Just telling you that I know I fucked up bad and that you got hurt. But I'm sorry. Maybe somehow you and Cooper can work it out. I don't know...I just don't know anything anymore."

He hung up and got in bed. He snuggled close to Georgie. He couldn't sleep so he just held her for hours.

Finally he fell into a sleep filled with nightmares about blood and screaming.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

At first Maxie was excited to look out the window and see Cooper outside her house. She hurried to grab a coat and run out there. Not even caring that she was in pajamas and bunny slippers.

Usually she would never let anyone but her family see her like that. But this was Cooper. She loved him so much and just wanted to get to him as fast as she could.

Then she saw his eyes. Pain radiated out of them. A deep broken hearted pain that shook her to her core. "Coop? What's the matter?"

"Get in."

Maxie scooted as close to him as she could get. "Just tell me."

He asked her "How could you do that to us? Didn't you love me at all?"

She gasped at his words. They had talked about this before but it was always so abrupt. He either was cold or so emotional that he just walked away from her with tears in his eyes that she knew he was hoping she didn't see.

"Coop," she whimpered. "I don't know why I did it. I'm so ashamed of myself."

"You know why! You have to know why."

"It was dumb. A mistake. I only know how to ruin good things. I know how to do that...make bets, play games, hurt people, myself....I'm so good at it. Its second nature. I can't even ask you to love me anymore because I'm just so ashamed of what I did when you gave me your heart the first time. I thought..maybe...you'd be able to forgive me but I see...right now...its too deep. I cut you too deep. I destroyed everything between us!"

He asked her, with his voice breaking, as he stared at the windshield, "So what am I supposed to do now, Maxie? What do I do about my life? Where do I go now? Who do I love? You took away everyone I was counting on. You know I'm not talking to my Mom right now....so who does this leave me to be my family? Why couldn't you love me enough to not do this to our family? I wanted to marry you!"

With shaking hands she wiped at her tears. She let out a ragged breath._ Marry you...marry you...I wanted to marry you_, ran through her head.

She knew that last summer. She got so scared. Then she saw Cooper with Lulu and her brain hissed at her: Logan is so hot. Go for it.

Her silly schemed formed and she set out on a path of destruction. That was more comfortable then saying to Cooper: I'm terrified I will be a bad wife and a bad mom and just like Felicia.

She tried to make Cooper hate her instead. She tried to make Logan and that heat be enough. But it couldn't be. Their hot afternoon left her cold by the time she got home and sunk into a bath. She sobbed in pain over what she had done to herself, Logan and Cooper. She blamed Logan in public but she cried on the phone to Sam that it was all her fault and she had broken Logan, her and Coop in one fell swoop.

Maxie whispered to Cooper "I wasn't ready to get married."

His eyes jerked over and met hers. Both of them were crying. "Baby....all you had to do was tell me that."

"I'm just not good at this! I suck at all of this! I suck at love! I'm a failure at love. I let you down so bad and I'll never forgive myself. I'll always look back and know you were the love of my life, Cooper. The love of my life." She was never hyperventilating as she sucked in sob drenched breaths. "And I'll always wish it was you I was still with.....always. Nobody will take your place in my heart....no matter who I end up with. You'll always have a place in my heart.....that's all I have left to give you now."

"So you're giving up?"

"Haven't you?"

"No."

"Coop!" She flung herself into his arms. "Coop.....why would you even touch me now?"

"Because I still want to marry you. One day when you stop thinking it's a bad thing." He pulled back and looked into her eyes "But I won't marry a woman who cheats on me every time she gets scared. If you're scared you come to me....don't run to some other man. He doesn't love you. I'm the man who loves you."

Her eyes searched his. She wanted to kiss him but she was too afraid to because he might flinch away still. "Okay," she whispered "So this means you want to try to fix us now?"

"This means I can not walk away yet. If any part of you wants to marry me then make it so I never have another reason to have to force myself to walk away from the only woman who is in my heart."

"I still love you so much, Cooper. I love you. I love you." Her hands smoothed over his cheeks.

He gently kissed her then he hugged her close to him. "I love you, too, baby. Just you. Always you. You are not dirty in my eyes. You're beautiful and you're precious to me. You're the mother of my unborn kids...so please, Maxie, please....go easy on me and easy on you from now on. We could be so happy if you would just trust in my love for you. Its real. Its big. Its all you need."

Those words would stay in her memory forever. He loved her with all he had. He was the only man who she wanted in this whole world now...she finally had let go of her ghosts of Jesse and Zander...and her craziness over Lucky and Logan....and she was ready to love her man right. The way he loved her. With her whole heart.

Cooper taught Maxie what love truly was.


	143. sb, 10

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Ten**

**Wednesday**

**November 14th, 2007**

Georgie woke up around 1 am. She found herself naked, wrapped tight in Logan's arms. He was asleep. She turned around and looked at him. He was sweating and jerking around in his sleep.

She shook him awake. He startled and sat straight up. Then he ran his hands through his hair. "Oh, Georgie ....hey."

"Bad dream?"

"Nah. Its nothing. I don't even remember it." He climbed out of bed, dressed in just boxers, and went to get some water.

Georgie grabbed her clothes and went to the bathroom. She got dressed.

When she came out Logan was sitting on the arm of the couch. He had a very numb look in his eyes.

She said "I'm sorry I have to go. I know you must think I'm such a child right now. But until my Dad knows about us....he'll worry so bad if I'm out all night."

"No problem."

She sat down and slipped on her socks, then her shoes. "You sure?"

"Don't give it another thought."

"Logan, we are gonna make this all better. Somehow. I won't give up on that ever. What happened takes time to heal....so lets just own the fact that its painful and hurtful and ugly but that we want to move past it. I know Cooper wants that too. I can tell."

"If you say so."

Georgie walked over to Logan. She slid between his legs. "I wish I could stay tonight."

"Get home and get some sleep."

"Whatever you do, where Coop is concerned, just think first and act second, okay? Don't get into a fight because you're frustrated and its easier to fight then be honest and don't just freeze him out because you're hurt."

"I can handle my business myself."

"So this is how it is now? You don't need or want my advice?"

"You're good at helping with Tina but you don't got a clue about me and Coop. Besides, it ain't your problem."

"Wrong."

"Good bye, Georgie." He eased her away. He walked over and grabbed her coat and her purse. He forced them into her hands.

"Good night or good bye?"

Shaking his head, he simply looked down.

Georgie threw down her coat and purse and said "I'm not going home like this! I'll just call my Dad right now. That would be better than walking out on you and letting you do this to us. We haven't even had a week. You have lost your mind if you think I'm through with you already! You've lost it! I swear, Logan, you're so far gone right now! I'm not letting you push me out! Why? Why? You let Lulu stay by your side for months!!" Georgie grabbed her purse again. "Where's my phone? I know its in here....oh, I think its still on the charger in my car. I'll just use your phone."

"Wait. Don't."

"No! Just stop trying to give up on us like this because you're upset over something that happened with your best friend and suddenly you think that you shouldn't be happy...Well, you should and I should...Please...let me stay with you."

"Georgie, you don't got to call home. I already asked Maxie to cover for you with Mac."

She sucked in a shaky breath. Georgie dropped the purse onto the couch and half its contents spilled out. She went and sat on the bed, looking emotional shaken. "I knew this would get hard. I knew that. I just thought you would turn to me....not away from me."

Logan walked over and crouched in front of her. "I'm sorry. My head is in a bad place right now."

"I know. Just let me love you."

"I'm bad news."

"Sometimes!" she cried, giving him a tender look that said she would love him anyway.

He started to chuckle as all his pain disappeared. He stood up and crawled onto the bed, as she scooted backward. He was right over her with his hands on either side of her body. Her eyes searched his.

Logan dropped a kiss on her lips. "Just so you know.....I've never had anything as real as we have. Never."

"So you won't push me away?"

"I just freak out. I don't know why." He stared down at her. "That's a lie. I know. I....don't wanna end up all alone with everyone hating me. But I think I'm going to anyway...and maybe I deserve it."

"You don't. I want to stay here and love you. Make love to me. Love me, Logan. I won't let anyone else make love to me....just you.....let that be your strength. Me."

He started to kiss her and they came together in a sweet and soulful way. Only at the last second did he remember a condom. Georgie didn't know what to think about the fact that her brain shut down so much she had forgotten to be careful.

XXXXXXXXXXX

That afternoon Georgie ran into Mac at home. He walked into the kitchen as she was making hot chocolate.

Mac asked "How was babysitting last night?"

She stayed quiet.

He went on "Your sister said Lucy needed you to stay the night with Tina. It go okay? There was no emergency over there was there?"

"I don't know. I wasn't there, Dad."

"Excuse me? Maxie lied or she just got it wrong?"

"She was trying to help me. Don't be mad at her. I was with....I was with Logan all night."

"Logan?"

"Logan Hayes. You know him. He's Cooper's friend."

"Yeah, I know him and I also know that Maxie has been crying over him on the phone to Sam for months, am I right?"

"Yes."

"And that you and Spinelli have sat in that living room out there and gone on about how he is horrible in every way. I heard you right, didn't I?"

"Yes, Dad, you heard right."

"So what are you doing with this man, Georgie?"

"I'm dating him."

"Do you know what you're doing? Honey-"

"I'm doing this, Dad. I'm dating for the first time since Dillon. Please support me."

Mac stared at her for a long moment. "I just worry so much about you girls."

"I know. I need to date though. Its time. Could you try and give Logan a chance before you decide he is all wrong for me? It takes time to see the good in him....he hides it well."

"Okay, honey. I'll trust you. But know that if he hurts you then I'll be at his door and he'll be the one crying instead of you or Maxie."

"Thank you for trusting me, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too. Be careful and safe with this guy. If he treats you good then what can I say? He better treat you as good as you deserve so I don't have to have a problem with him."

"He will, Dad."

"I just don't know...I don't know how you and your sister have not made my hair all fall out yet with stress over worrying about your hearts."

Georgie smiled slightly. "I'll try to stop giving you reasons to worry so much."

"Its just what Dads do, honey."

After Mac walked out the back door to go to work, Georgie called Logan and left him a message "My Dad is on board with us! Oh my God, Logan! Call me. This is so good."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was not Logan's style to sit at home and just wait for Cooper to maybe call him or maybe not. Instead he walked right into Cooper's room at Kelly's.

Cooper was slipping on his policeman shirt. "Hey."

Logan stood there, in hurt silence, just waiting to find out if Cooper hated him today.

Cooper buttoned up his shirt. "Come on in."

Logan closed the door.

Cooper said "I wanted to talk to you but I haven't had the time today and now I'm just about late for work."

"Well spit it out quick then."

"What you got to get, Logan, is that I wanted to marry her before you ever got here. You came to town for Scott or cause I was here or just cause you had to get out of Texas again....I don't pretend to know what you are really thinking because its not what you say....you came here and you just planted yourself in the middle of me and her. I'll do anything for you...but I won't let you take her away from me another time."

"What does that mean? Are you back with Maxie?"

"Yeah. She just left a little while ago."

Logan smiled and slapped Cooper's arm.

Cooper warned him "Don't touch her...never again."

"You got it, buddy. Besides I'm with the better Jones sister."

Cooper slowly grinned."You wish."

"I know."

Cooper grabbed his badge and gun. "I got to get into work. See you later."

"Okay. Later."

Cooper walked out. Logan sat down on the bed with relief coursing through him. He pulled out his phone to check who called him when he was too busy talking to Cooper to answer.

He smiled when he saw it was Georgie.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie was practically giddy that her Dad hadn't screamed that Logan was a scuzz bucket. Mac was worried but he took it good for Mac.

After a quick conversation with Logan on the phone they decided to meet at Kelly's. He was standing outside when she walked up.

She happily threw herself in his arms and kissed him. "Yay! My Dad didn't freak when I told him."

He grinned. "Okay, I see how you are. A Daddy's girl"

"I can't help it." She smiled widely. "I'm so happy! He knows and he isn't going to arrest you."

Logan's eyes widened. "Was that an option?"

"That was one of the good options. Just leaving you in lock up till you'd be so mad at me that you'd think it wasn't worth it anymore. Or yelling really mean and unfair things at you. That would have been awful. Or forbidding me from seeing you. I can't disobey my father's rules when I live underneath his roof. But he's going to try and trust me and give you a chance."

Georgie kissed Logan softly.

Just then they heard a gasp. Georgie broke apart from Logan. There stood Lulu and Johnny.


	144. sb, 11

**The Slow Burn**

**Georgie Jones and Logan Hayes**

**Part Eleven**

**Wednesday**

**November 14th, 2007**

Georgie kissed Logan softly as they stood in front of Kelly's.

Just then they heard a gasp. Georgie broke apart from Logan. There stood Lulu and Johnny.

Lulu crossed her arms over her chest. "It didn't take you long to move on, did it?"

Logan threw back "Longer than it took you."

Johnny stepped forward. "Watch your tone!"

"Fuck you, mob boy!"

Johnny chuckled and looked down, in a way that said Logan was so not worth fighting.

Lulu said to Georgie "I can't believe you would get with him when you know what he's done to me and to your own sister."

Georgie told her "I would kindly appreciate you not coming up to us and thinking your opinions matter in what we do. I was in a good mood and I don't need you bringing me down. If you came here for dinner then go enjoy your dinner."

Lulu huffed and grabbed Johnny's hand. Walking past she said "I hope you know what you're doing...or rather WHO you are doing!"

Georgie told her "What you're failing to grasp is that I'm not going to argue with you about this and we aren't ever going to fight over another man. Ever. Because its not a competition. Its decided."

Lulu shook her head in a way that said Georgie was clearly beyond delusional and then drug Johnny inside.

"Well I guess you told her, darlin."

Georgie relaxed some. "You broke up with her. She's hurt. If I was in her position, seeing you with someone else so soon, I'd scream so loud they'd probably hear me in Rochester."

For better or worse, she could get very worked up over Logan.

"Lets make sure that never happens."

Georgie put her arms around his neck. "I want my good mood back. Take me somewhere fun."

"My place?"

She giggled. "Maybe later."

"Maybe?" he teased.

She smiled widely. "Definitely later but take me somewhere else fun right now."

"You got it, girl."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

They picked up Tina and went to the skating rink. Georgie laughed at how nervous and shaky Logan was on his skates.

"Don't look at me, doll. This is just too embarrassing." The southern drawl was in full force and she loved it.

She watched him skate out onto the floor with his hands raised to try and keep his balance. Tina took his hand. Georgie's heart melted when Logan grinned at his kid sister.

He was such a beautiful man around Tina. And he was such a beautiful man when he made love to Georgie. One day he would be a beautiful man twenty four hours a day and he'd be the wonderful Dad to his own kids like he had

wanted Scott to be to him.

She would love to see that but she loved seeing him how he was now too. Gruff, insecure, mean sometimes, reckless, sweet, loving, bitter, bruised, needy....and hers.

Their kisses meant something more than that they had good sexual chemistry.

The emotions that their kisses brought out in them was God whispering to them and Georgie heard that whisper. Now that she had Logan she did not want to think about letting him go.

She watched him fall down while trying to roller skate. Tina didn't laugh. She helped him up. Georgie skated out to them. She smiled at him and did a fancy spin.

"No fair, girl. You're a professional."

Georgie only giggled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Late that night Georgie and Logan ended up not having sex but instead he made her a steaming hot bubble bath. As she soaked in it he sat by the tub talking to her.

He had asked her about the novel she was writing and then they started talking about if it was made into a movie who would star in it. Then Logan said, as he skimmed his finger in the water and brushed against her knee, "Ain't no movie Hollywood ever made with a better story then me getting you here in my place naked every night. They should make us a movie."

Georgie smiled sweetly. "I would hate to think of the rating on such a movie. Really. We could never take Tina to see something like that. Not family friendly at all."

He startled and joked "What did I tell ya, girl? No family talk when I'm getting fresh with you."

She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the tub, fully clothed, making him laugh as she complained about him crushing her. He was chuckling and smiling when he said "You make my day so good."

"That's what a girlfriend is supposed to do."

He got out of the tub, shaking his head at how soaked he was and started peeling off his clothes. He left them in a pile on the floor. He went and got fresh boxers and a big t-shirt for Georgie.

When he came back he had changed into his boxers already. He said "Your turn, girl." Logan held up a towel.

Georgie stood up, climbed out and he slowly dried her off. He slipped the shirt over her head. "There you go, doll," he told her.

They went into the other room, got in bed, and ate Chinese take out while watching TV. Georgie stared loving at Logan.

"What?" he asked, self consciously. "Do I have something on my face?"

She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. Then she went back to watching the program.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

December 25th, 2007

Logan walked up to Georgie as she was rinsing off dishes to put in the dishwasher after Christmas dinner. He wrapped his arms around her waist.

The day had been perfect- with Georgie's family, plus him, Cooper, and Patrick there at the Scorpio-Jones house.

He nuzzled her neck. "Want some help, girl?"

"I'm just about done." She dried off her hands on a dish towel and turned back around. Smiling sweetly at him, she said "Today was great, wasn't it?"

Though they hadn't exchanged presents with each other yet everything else was just how he would have imagined it in his dreams. The mood was perfect and everyone was happy to be together. Georgie had even spent the morning at Lucy's house where Logan met Serena and Scott gave him a watch from Scott's grandfather.

"It went fantastic," Logan said. "And don't think I don't know my holiday would have been a lot more lonely and miserable without you being my girl."

She hugged him. "I'm so glad we got to spend this Christmas together." Then she whispered what she never had before. Though it was clear in all she did for him and in every look "I love you, Logan."

He smiled and pulled back so he could look in her eyes. "Once more."

"I love you!" she cried happily, not caring who heard.

He was grinning from ear to ear and his heart was full of joy. "Is that my present from you? Because it's the best one I could get."

"No," she whispered in a sexy, teasing tone "you can't see your gift till we get back to your place. But here's a clue....its black and red and lacy and has all these strings you have to untie. Do you think you can handle that?"

"I can more than handle it."

Later he sat her on his couch and gave her the present he got for her. It was journal but when she opened it she realized there was writing on every page. "What is this, Logan?"

"Those are just some poems I wrote for you."

"Since when do you write poetry? You never said that."

"I ain't never wrote any before I met you. But I know you love poetry and that kind of stuff and so....well....those are the best I could do. I hope they don't suck too bad."

She read the first one. It was about kissing in the rain. That was how they kissed at The Black and White Ball.

Georgie threw herself in Logan's arms. His poems might not be good enough to get published- just a simple country boy writing county lyrics to songs he didn't know how to play on the guitar- but they were beautiful to her. The whole journal had his heart poured out.

"I love it," she told him.

"I love you," he told her, for the first time ever. "And, just so we are clear, I wanna make you Mrs. Hayes someday."

She couldn't think. Just like when he first kissed her. She was just too blissfully happy to do more than sit there stunned.

"Georgie? Nothing to say?"

"I like that idea."

Logan grinned then he took her to bed to show her just how good it could be if she was his Mrs. Hayes. When they made love it was nothing like either of them had known with other people. It was more emotional and intense. It wasn't about how many orgasms they could get. It was about creating happiness, building a commitment and growing a love.

It was always love.

Always love. Never just simple sex.

THE END

Big thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing this story.


	145. Second Time Around, Glo, part 1

Thanks for checking out my latest Glo story!

Premise- Glo. Revisionist history. Canon until December 1st, 2007.

Georgie left in January 2008 to study abroad.

Cooper lives in an apartment, in Harborview Towers, with Maxie. Logan lives in Brenda Barrett's old cottage. Logan's only girlfriend in Port Charles has been Lulu, who went back and forth between him and Johnny for more than a year before Logan told her to get out of his life and stay out.

He is miserably single and disgusted with all women. Until he sees a certain brown eyed girl.....

**Second Time Around**

**Part One**

**June 2009**

The moment he saw her again was one he would never forget- not as long as he drew breath. Everything about it shocked Logan right down to his bones.

The way she looked- so much prettier and she had always been freaking gorgeous- and the way her eyes were lit up, and the way her laugh sounded. But what shocked him most was that, for the first time in his life, something about Georgie Jones- who was always just Maxie's little sister in his mind- was very, very personal to Logan.

He must be seriously horny. That had to be it. No chick had looked good to him in months because of what his ex-girlfriend had put him through. Damn Lulu for ruining his life. She was making him into a crazy man who gaped at Maxie's sister as if she was a supermodel and not a college co-ed.

Georgie said, looking him straight in the eye and setting his world even more off balance, "Hello, Logan. Long time."

His mouth was completely dry. "Uh..."

Cooper took over for him, when it became clear that "Uh.." was all he was going to manage to get out. "Hey, Georgie! You're home. Get over here and give me a hug. How was the flight?"

"Long." She smiled. God, fantastic smile. And then she walked over and hugged Cooper.

Just a minute before Cooper and Logan had walked into Cooper's apartment, after being up at a cabin in Canada for a week on a fishing trip. They had been laughing and joking with each other when they stepped into the living room and interrupted Maxie and Georgie, who were on the couch, right in the middle of a fit of giggles.

Logan expected to feel not a damn thing when he looked at Georgie. He never had before. She was sweet, when she wasn't pissed off, but she wasn't his type. She wasn't crazy enough. He lived and died for crazy women.

But then he was staring at her, as she laughed and clutched her side, and he was mesmerized. Georgie looked amazing. Her skin glowed. Her eyes didn't hold any shyness or ghosts or pain anymore. She was completely alive. She looked like a grown woman now. Like a breath taking beauty.

Wow.

After Georgie hugged Cooper, she looked at Logan. "Good time fishing?"

He stared into her brown eyes. Why hadn't he noticed before they were so deep and seductive? Lulu had hazel eyes that were full of madness and worries. But Georgie's eyes were soul healing, gentle, full of grace and joy.

"Fantastic," he murmured, about her eyes but she took it to be his answer about the trip.

She smiled widely.

Logan swallowed hard. He knew he needed to really not get a crush on her because after all the nutty things he did over Lulu, Maxie believed that Logan was not fit for dating anyone, let alone her sister. And if Maxie was mad then Cooper would hear nothing but grief over it. Logan wasn't looking to get his best friend in trouble with his girl. But then again Logan was not great at ignoring his impulses and in this moment his impulses were saying to find a way to kiss Georgie....and quick.

Maxie bounded off the couch and jumped into Cooper's arms as if she hadn't seen him in about two decades, instead of a week. "Hi! I missed you." She gave him a kiss. After he set her down she said "You picked the total worse time for this vacation. You guys ran off to play in the woods-" the trip included Patrick and Matt "and leave us girls here to move Georgie in with Serena. What the hell? You two both need to do the heavy lifting tomorrow and take her bed, dresser and stuff over there. She's been sleeping on the couch and I'm not standing for it, Coop. It was all I could do to talk Mac out of moving her furniture. You know he has a bad back!"

"Okay, baby. First thing in the morning." Cooper looked at Logan. "Right, buddy?"

"Sure thing," he said, slowly, still staring at Georgie, as she was looking at her sister and Cooper.

Georgie turned her head at the sound of his voice. "Thank you. That's nice of you to do. Especially since we never got along that great in the past."

"That seems like a just about a million years ago now," Logan said.

"Everything has changed," she said, in this mysterious way that made him wonder if she ran off and married some jerk college kid.

He looked at her ring finger. Nothing. He let out a short breath. Then he told himself to quit this foolishness.

This was Georgie. Just Georgie. And she was not his type at all. Nothing would change that. No matter how hot she got the older she got. She would probably only be hotter next year and the next and the next.

It was going to be a long life of being in-laws with her. A very long life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie was determined to remain calm and relaxed around Logan. A big change from the past. She even asked him if he'd help her make dinner- to give Maxie and Cooper time alone together.

She was determined that her and Logan would be cool around each other.

Logan seemed uneasy though. He dropped a pot. He bumped into her in the kitchen. He just seemed very uncomfortable. He was probably remembering all her lunatic behavior with him in the past. Nice one day-so sweet and interested in his life- and the next she was screaming like he was the devil. Granted he earned every single mean thing she ever said about him but, even if he had, that was all the past.

She was an adult now. Not a child anymore. She was not going to be childish and crush on him. She was not going to get angry about anything he did and take it personal. She was not going to scream or yell or cry over him.

She was so over his drama. So over it. She'd grown up and had a wonderful time studying abroad. She hadn't fallen in love but she made fantastic friends. It was the time of her life.

Of course she missed home. Her friends and family and her life here. Now that she was back though she didn't want to go and live with her Dad, work at the diner and blend into the background.

Because now she was grown up and she needed to keep making progress in her life. So she became roommates with her childhood friend, Serena, and she accepted a summer internship at the local newspaper. Next on her agenda was dating again.

She'd been single for two and a half years now. There were a few men she went on dates with but they never made her heart beat fast. Not like Logan could.

But that was the past.

Her silly school girl crush has died the day he slept with Maxie and it would stay dead forever. She had been so ticked at him that she treated him like scum after that. Now he was on good terms again with Maxie and Cooper. If they could forgive him all his sins, then so could Georgie.

She just wouldn't let herself get all worked up over him ever again. Polite. That was all she needed to be.

She was taking out flour from the cabinet. "Its been forever since I've made fried chicken. What about you?"

"My Ma used to make it all the time. I just eat out, mainly. The diner, you know, and Eli's...uh."

"You don't cook at all?"

"Breakfast. And....um....Coop comes over sometimes and we grill out."

"You live in his Aunt's old cottage, right?"

"Yeah. Free rent. Can't go wrong with that, doll."

Doll. A shiver shot down her spine.

She tensed. Okay. Just a moment to get through. His endearments mean nothing anyway.

Making her voice completely neutral she said "No, I don't suppose you can. Robin used to live there a long time ago. And so did Nikolas and Gia. She was his fiancee for a while. You know Nikolas, right? I mean you must because everyone knows the local Prince."

"The only thing I know about that guy is that I ain't never stepping foot on his island again."

"The Black and White Ball, right. That was a nightmare and a half. I was so sure you and Cooper were going to be killed playing heroes. You both had me so angry that night."

"We got by okay."

"You were lucky. Luckier than some other guests, for sure. That was so long ago now."

"You've sure changed," he muttered, beneath his breath.

Her head cocked to the side. She froze. "Why do you say that, Logan?"

"Its not an insult or nothing...uh. You just seem different to me now."

"What do you mean? Not as angry? Are you still mad at me because of all those arguments we got in? The last one was the worst....when I accused Cooper of being the TMK killer. I know that really upset you and I felt lousy about what I said afterwards.

"Its done and over with now."

"I know we weren't ever friends but I can put the past in the past if you can. What do you say? Fresh start?" She stuck out her hand.

After a moment, he took hold of her hand. Electricity shot through her whole body and she sucked in a quick breath.

Damn it. It was going to be hard- very hard- to not fall for this guy again.

"Fresh start, brown eyes."

Brown eyes. Her favorite endearment ever. Damn. Being an adult, who knew better than to crush on a bad boy, sucked.


	146. Second Time Around, 2

**Second Time Around**

**Part Two**

**June 2009**

After dinner, Cooper nodded toward the balcony and Logan followed him out there. Logan closed the door.

Cooper asked "What are you up to?"

"Huh?"

"You're staring at Georgie constantly! Maxie is gonna chew my ass out for you existing as soon as you go home."

"She ain't said nothing yet."

"Because she doesn't want to put ideas in Georgie's head, probably."

"Maybe Maxie wouldn't care."

Cooper stared him down. "Won't care about her own sister? Look, the world is filled with hot chicks-"

"I know that."

"So remember it and keep your hands off the only hot, single chick that is Maxie's relative!"

"Shhh. You want them to hear you?"

"No. That's the last thing I want. Other than you not getting hooked on another chick who it isn't going to work out with."

"I'm not hooked on nobody. She's just damn sexy and I got eyes, man. What do you want me to do? Poke my eyes out for you? Otherwise I'm gonna stare. Look at her."

"I saw her."

"So you see that she's only looking better as time goes on, right?"

"Yeah but that's not the point."

"What's the point then? I don't know why you always got to act like I'm doing something wrong when I ain't done anything yet."

"Yet. Its the yet I worry about, Logan."

"Why? You got some kind of issue with how I treat women? I tried to be good to Lulu, for all the freaking good it did me. I would have married that chick!"

"Your head is still messed up over her. You go back to her every time. What would happen if you got with Georgie and then went back to Lulu? You want to know? Me having a headache every day. That's what. You being banned from this apartment- that's another what. Maybe Maxie spray painting Cheater on my Aunt's house. I know she'd mace you, for starters, and your truck....done. She'd tear that thing up like you can't even imagine."

"Well you're the one dating this wild women. Control your chick."

"Its not Maxie who needs to get in check. Its you! Georgie is not someone to be played with."

"I hear ya, Barrett." Logan's jaw was clenched. "You've given me your warning. You can run and tell Maxie her sister is safe from the big bad wolf. And....while you're at it....fuck off."

Logan slammed back into the apartment. Georgie was loading the dishwasher in the kitchen. Maxie was carrying dishes in there. "Hey! What's wrong? I know that look. Who's about to get punched?"

"I'm out of here. Thanks for dinner."

"You cooked. So I should thank you," Maxie said. She threw Cooper a look. "Why is there tension? I don't like to see brothers going at it like this and I don't want Georgie's night messed up. If we don't keep her happy now that she's home, then she might go study in Europe for the next ten years. Do you two want that? Make up! NOW!"

Georgie came out of the kitchen. She wiped her hands on her apron. "Everything okay?"

Logan let out a harsh breath. "I was just saying good night. The chicken was great, Georgie. Just as good as my Mom ever made."

"Well, that must be because of you. You made sure we got the spices just right. I guess we make a good team in the kitchen."

"I'd cook with you anytime, brown eyes."

Cooper said "Good night, Logan. See you in the morning. You want to pick me up, since we need to use your truck? How about ten? That sound okay, Georgie?"

"Sure. I should get home too. I have unpacking to do still. Maxie gave me a ride here so could someone give me a ride home?"

Cooper said "No problem. Let me get my keys."

Maxie said "Logan is going that way so why doesn't he just take her? Besides....I missed you for seven whole nights, Coop."

Cooper said "I'll be back in a forty minutes."

Logan said "Just stay here with your girl, buddy. I got this." He looked at Georgie. "You don't mind hitching a ride with me, do you? I upgraded to a new truck since you've been gone. So we ain't gonna end up sitting on the side of the road while it overheats."

"Okay. I guess that would be fine."

"Good!" Maxie said, with a smile. "Well, see you in the morning." She hugged her sister. "I'll bring vanilla lattes. But I'm not showing up till 11 or 11:30. Let them get the moving done and then we can then figure out how to decorate your bedroom. Maybe drag the guys to the fabric store. You know they'd love that."

Georgie said "I'm sure they have better ways to spend a Saturday afternoon."

Maxie smiled. "Like I care. They'll go where I want and they better not bitch." She hugged Georgie again. "I'm so glad you're home now."

"Me too," Georgie whispered.

A few minutes later she was in the elevator with Logan when his cell phone rang. He was so busy staring at her, out of the corner of his eye, that she had to say, "Is that your phone? Logan....I think that's your phone."

"What? Huh. Oh. Yeah." He took it out and answered it. "What do you want now?"

"I don't know if I should tell you this," Cooper said, with a heavy sigh. "But Maxie brought up your little...whatever the hell this is...with Georgie as soon as you walked out the door. Infatuation. Future obsession. Flirtation. I don't know."

"I don't really give a fuck what she had to say."

Georgie's eyes widened, as she looked at him.

Logan felt like such a jerk for cussing in front of her. Nice move. That would really show her he had matured. Not like he wanted to get with her anyway though.

It pissed him off that Cooper had warned him away from going after Georgie but Logan had already decided the same thing anyway. Because he was sure this was somehow a reaction to Lulu. Everything he did for two years was somehow about Lulu. He was sick of it and himself.

Cooper told Logan "Calm down."

"I'm busy right now. So spit it out already." The elevator doors opened. Logan held them open, as Georgie walked out. He followed her.

Cooper said "Its looks like I jumped the gun. Maxie isn't pissed off at the idea. She says that whatever makes Georgie happy is all that matters and....I guess she thinks you got a fair shot of doing that. And, before you ask, she didn't tell me if Georgie said anything about you."

"I got to go."

"Bye, buddy. And....sorry."

"Don't give it another thought."

The doorman at Harborview Towers pulled open the door for Georgie. She walked out. Logan followed her.

She said "Its a really nice night. Warm."

"Were there a lot of nice nights in Europe?"

"Yes. It was really beautiful there in Spring."

"You miss it?"

"Not right now."

Logan stopped walking. He turned and stared at Georgie. She walked a few paces more and stopped. She looked back at him.

"Did I mention that its great to have you back?"

"No. Not in so many words."

"Its great, brown eyes."

"Spinelli isn't the only one with nicknames, is he?" She smiled slightly. "Lulu was your angel. What was it you called Maxie? Hot stuff?"

"Oh geez. She told you that?"

"She tells me everything." Georgie let out a short breath. "And I'm your brown eyes."

"Is this the part where you tell me to stop calling you that?"

"No. But I should."

"Why's that?"

"Because we're standing out here on the street on one of my first nights home going over this and that is not what I want to do, Logan."

"I'm sorry. I'm not looking to fight with you. I know we had our bad arguments in the past but that was always over stupid stuff that just don't matter now. If you hate me calling you brown eyes, I'll make sure I don't."

"I like it," she ground out and then sighed.

"You sure seem worked up for liking it."

"Yeah, well, you have that effect on me. Give me time. I need to get used to being your friend and not fighting with you every time we meet up. Old habits die hard. But I'm determined that this time will be different."

"Sounds good to me."

"So.....you've been good since I left?"

"No, not really."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Maxie said you went through a lot with Lulu."

"Hell on earth. I should have ran from that chick the first day I saw her."

"Live and learn, Logan."

"I'm lucky I lived through Lulu at all. She made it a damn unlikely prospect at some points."

Georgie headed for the parking lot and he followed her, staring at her ass the whole time. He opened the passenger door and she got in. Telling himself that just cause she had a great ass, and great curves, and a sweet smile, that did not mean he should fall for her.

But his head was not listening to his libido.


	147. Second Time Around, 3

**Second Time Around**

**Part Three**

**June 2009**

She had to find someone to date and quick. Someone to take her mind off of Logan. She had refused to indulge in even one fantasy about him while she was in Europe. Though he came to mind over and over, like the rest of the people she left behind. Never did she allow a sexual fantasy to play out in her head about him. But when she was on the plane home, like a lightening bolt that she couldn't stop from striking her, he suddenly shot through her mind and image after erotic image played out. Like her body knew she was getting close to him again- and her body wanted him, no matter what her mind said.

That is when Georgie decided she was too old to crush on some bad boy rebel Texan.

Of course, now that he was driving her home, all she could do was delight in the fact that he was next to her. His cologne filled her nose. This sweaty smell mixed in with it that only made her gut clench with desire. Why was it he was the only man on earth that she had this visceral reaction to? It was insanity.

She just wasn't going down this road again.

The only place it would lead was her standing in a diner yelling at him for something he did to Lulu. As if she was the one being screwed over. Not again. No way. She was not that silly kid anymore.

Georgie let out a heavy sigh.

Logan asked "Tired?"

"A little bit. I stared my new job today and it was kinda hectic."

"Where you working?"

"The Port Charles Herald as an intern."

"That sounds like a great job for you. You write fiction in your spare time, right?"

"How did you hear about that?"

"Maxie brags about you all the time."

"I really missed her a lot when I was gone. Her and Robin...Spinelli..." you, she silently added, Even if you drove me nuts more than half the time.

"Everyone missed you too. I know your sister is worried you won't be satisfied here for long. You planning to ditch us again?"

"That depends on what opportunities come my way, I guess. For right now I have plans to finish my last year of school at PCU. We'll see how summer goes though. I could transfer if I'm not happy here."

"Then we better keep you happy, huh?"

"Its not your problem. Maxie will deal with it fine if I move again. She'll miss me but she has Cooper. If not for them being so much in love, I could never leave my sister here without me."

"I still think she need you around, brown eyes."

She let out another sigh. That nickname was going to make her heart leap out of her chest and try to fall right into his hands. She should have told him to stop it but she loved the way it sounded on his lips. When she opened her mouth to say that he should not call her anything but her God given first name, she found herself instead telling him she liked it.

Lucky for her she hadn't said she adored it. Now she couldn't even trust her own brain to tell her lips the right words to say. He always got her so twisted up that it wasn't even funny.

Not that he knew that or cared. Never had. Never would. His heart beat for Lulu, whether they were together or not.

Glancing at the dashboard clock she saw that it would take sixteen more minutes to get her home. Maybe that would be her life now. Fighting off her crush for him for every minute they were together. And she had moved in with his sister. Great.

That would be real helpful in avoiding him.

Of course she hadn't thought she would have to avoid him. Georgie was sure that when she saw him again the childish fantasies would not come back. Wrong. So wrong.

They were back and she didn't want them filling up her head with silliness about a man who only got hot for lethal blondes.

Georgie said, being her usual honest self, but not completely forthright, "I want to stay but I just don't know if I can."

"Why not?"

"Its complicated. Since my divorce....I wasn't happy here before. So unless this time is different then I'll go back to Europe. Don't worry about it though. Maxie will be fine. I know you take it all real personal with her."

"Because of Coop only."

"Sure."

"Okay, here we go now. I remember that sure."

"I'm not fighting with you. I refuse. I'd rather sit here in silence than fight with you."

"You keep biting your tongue and instead of taking you home I'll be taking you to GH for stitches. And I'm off work tonight so I don't feel like heading in there."

"You're a paramedic now, I heard."

"Yeah. Finally got my lazy ass a steady job."

"And a legal one at that."

"Just had to get that jab in, didn't ya?"

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

"I was just joking with you, brown eyes. Tell me something. You promise Maxie you'd be nice to me now? Cause you are working over time at it and it all seems to be against your will."

"No, nothing like that."

"For Serena's sake, maybe?"

"I wouldn't want to upset your sister. We grew up really close and now that we are roommates I don't want to end up fighting with her."

"Well I ain't looking to make your living situation messy. I'm sure we can find a way to get along. But don't keep holding back what you want to say. I like people who are real with me. Don't you like the same thing, brown eyes?"

She sighed. Thirteen minutes. "Sure."

"Cool. So be honest.....if I tell you that I'm sorry about everything that happened in the past, could you forgive me?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Okay...I'm sorry too."

"I don't remember nothing you'd have to apologize for but I'll take it. So this fresh start is gonna work out, right?"

"We'll get used to being friends....in time."

"Say it like you mean it, brown eyes."

"I'd like to become your good friend."

"That would make my year."

Georgie stared out the window. She had loved Europe. Grown into a woman there. Felt independent and free. But she loved sitting next to him in this truck just a little bit more....and that was not a good thing. Not if he was never going to love sitting next to her just as much.

The radio played a song by The Fray: Where were you when everything was falling apart? All my days were spent by a telephone that never rang. All I needed was a call that never came to the corner of First and Amistad. Lost and insecure, you found me. You found me. Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded. Why'd you have to go? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late. You found me. You found me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan could not believe how much he could bring Georgie down. When he walked into Cooper's apartment earlier tonight, she had been glowing. She was full of life. Now she just seemed depressed.

And it all had to do with her forcing herself to get along with him.

He knew that she always had issues with him before but she was so sweet and kind and big hearted that now she wanted to squash those problems. Unfortunately it looked like she just couldn't forget what a loser she had decided he was.

It looked like Coop could relax. Nothing was gonna go on between Logan and Georgie. She wasn't feeling him and he wasn't in the mood to beg no chick ever again.

He kept his mouth shut till he pulled up in front of her place. "Home. Safe and sound. Tell my sister hi for me, okay?"

"I'll do that. Thank you for the ride and for helping tomorrow."

"No problem. You know Coop's family is my family. And now you live with Serena so...I guess we're just gonna be tripping over each other constantly."

She sighed.

Logan tensed. "You know what, doll?"

"Hmmm?"

Since Logan had decided his lusting after her was fruitless and since he wanted her to smile again, he said something he never thought he would to her. "I think what you need is to go see Spinelli. He always did make you light up. Though, fair warning, he's dating a nurse now and they're kinda serious."

"I know about Nadine. I e-mail Spinelli all the time. And I've seen him since I've been home."

"You did look happy when I first saw a you tonight. That Spinelli induced?"

"You still jealous as all hell of him?"

"Little bit,' he said with a small grin.

Georgie chuckled. Suddenly all the tension was drained from her face. Logan relaxed.

She said "Good night! You're just as crazy as ever."

"Wait!"

"What?"

He got out of the truck, walked around and opened the door. "My mama raised me right, even if most of it didn't stick."

"Thank you."

"Let me see you to the door."

"That's not necessary."

"I'd worry all night if I didn't. Toss and turn. Finally call Serena and bug her about if you got in okay. Wake her up maybe. You don't want to cause all that, do ya?"

"No."

Logan grinned another time.

Georgie headed for the apartment building. It was located next to The Metro Court. When they got into the lobby she said "Okay, I'm safe. See you tomorrow."

"This isn't your door."

"Logan-"

"You know me, brown eyes. Stubborn and head strong. Lets go."

She let him take her up to her door. "Okay. I'm home. Bye." She shoved her key in the lock and hurried to open it.

"Its gonna get easier to be around each other. I'll show you that I'm not that asshole you used to hate."

"I hated what you did. Not you. Good night."

The door closed as he was saying "Brown eyes, I-"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She closed the door in his face. Leaning against it, she sighed and sunk to the ground. Serena walked out of her room.

"Hey....bad night?"

Serena's phone rang. She answered it. She made a lot of sounds that meant yes and no and then said "Pinky promise," before she hung up. "Talk to me, G."

"That was your brother, wasn't it?"

"No comment."

"What's going on with him and Lulu these days? Is it over or are they just on another break?"

"It better be freaking over. I can't take another minute of it. I didn't know you and Logan....history?"

"Just in my head!" Georgie stood up. "I'm going to find some ice cream."

"Oh no. Is this a one scoop or two scoop kinda situation?"

"Its a spoon and the carton kind of situation. And he's coming back in...what? Fourteen hours!"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Only because I'm actually looking forward to seeing him and that, right there, is a very stupid way to feel where Logan and I are concerned. Just please don't tell him I'm all worked up over him."

"I wouldn't break the room mate code like that. But tell me," Serena said, as they headed in the kitchen, "what's the story? You and my brother get close to hooking up at some point in the past? Maybe when he was on one of his many breaks from The Bitch?"

Georgie opened the fridge. "Serena, that would be logical. I'm completely irrational when it comes to him. So anything normal you are thinking...forget it. I have no past with Logan unless you count serving him coffee as a relationship." She pulled out the ice cream. "If you do, we were exclusive. He got all his coffee needs fulfilled by me and all his orgasms by everyone else!"

"Too much information."

"Sorry!" Georgie pulled out a spoon and dug into the ice cream. "I just feel like a moron. My crushing on him was one thing two years back. But its been forever. Its time for me to forget about him. I keep comparing guys to him and no one is measuring up...not because they aren't smart, or fun, or nice. They're all that but they aren't as sexy or as emotional or as funny or as maddening or as.....everything....as him. Not that I want to date your brother because I don't."

"No. Of course not. Who'd want to date the guy you call everything? That'd be stupid as hell. Better not do that anytime soon."

"You just don't understand. He only likes a certain type. If Nadine was not with Spinelli then Logan would probably try to get with her. Who knows? Maybe he still will!"

"What does Nadine have that you don't, G?"

"Blonde hair!"

Serena laughed. "Calm down just a tiny bit, okay? Blonde hair can't be all that he goes for."

"No. There's more. Its blonde hair and being wild. Scheming. Causing drama. He loves drama. Lives for that. I don't. There's nothing about me that he's ever wanted and I don't want him anymore. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Know any single guys?"

"Yeah, a few."

"Set me up with one of them. I'm ready to date again. Just as long as its anybody but Logan. Because he will just end up back with Lulu and I won't be his fling. I'd never get over it. Please, Serena, you have to keep this between us. Not even Maxie can hear about this."

"Cross my heart, G." Serena got out a spoon and took a bite of the ice cream. "But, just so you know, you can't do better than Logan. He's really a great man, when you get to know him. You sure you don't want to just give him one date?"

"One date? Do you know what that would do to me? Set me back two years, that's what. No thank you. I'd be even stupider over him and he'd be chasing after Lulu the first chance he got. No. I'm not allowing myself to go backwards. I need to move on with my life. I came home to be happy. Not get lost in a fantasy that won't come true. So what other single guys do you know?"

"Lets make a list."

The list ended up reading: Milo. Cody. Matt. Dante.

Georgie looked at the names. She knew two of the guys and two were strangers. Matt was Patrick's brother. She heard plenty about him. He used to like Maxie but she was always with Cooper. And he used to date Nadine before she got with Spinelli. Then there was Dante Falconerri. He was Sonny's long lost son who moved to town a year back. Maxie said he drove a motorcycle and had tattoos. Milo was a sweetheart. Cody was Logan and Coop's army buddy. Hmmm.

Who could distract her enough for her crush to fade away into simple friendship with Logan? Any of them? She highly doubted it.

But it was worth a try.


	148. Second Time Around, 4

**Second Time Around**

**Part Four**

**June 2009**

By the time Logan and Cooper showed up at Georgie's apartment with her furniture, she had muffins made and coffee done. She had spent the morning telling herself today she would be completely calm around Logan.

So what that he was hot? So what that her heart raced when looking in his eyes? So what that he turned her on? Made her spine tingle when she heard his voice. Made her get angry. Made her care about his childhood and his hopes and dreams. So what? She could care about a new guy too.

She was serene when he came in the door. But then she ended up alone in the kitchen with him. He grabbed a muffin. "Smells great, brown eyes."

Goosebumps covered her arms. That nickname! It would be her down fall. "Thank you."

"You're in a better mood this morning. You get some decent rest? You seemed a little down last night."

"I'm fine now."

"Good to hear. Cause I'd hate to think I brought you down."

"It wasn't really anything you said or did, Logan. My head is just all over the place since I came home. I'm still settling in."

"Maybe you're a little upset Spinelli is dating someone that ain't you?"

"Spinelli again. Did someone tell you...?"

"What?"

"That I had a crush on Spinelli before I moved."

"No one had to tell me that. I got eyes. You were nuts over him. Don't know why either. What is it about that geek that did it for you?"

"You make it sound like its a bizarre thing. I'll thank you to not be rude about my friend."

Cooper walked in. "Everything all right in here?"

"Fine," Georgie said, glaring at Logan. "Want a banana nut muffin?"

"Sure. Thank you."

Logan said "I'm gonna go pull my truck around to the parking lot instead of right in front of the doors, before I get a ticket."

After he left Georgie said "Thank you for moving my furniture."

Cooper said "Of course. I wish we'd been in town when you came in so you could have your stuff sooner."

"Its fine."

"Listen, Georgie, I don't want to be in your business but when I walked in here it looked like you were ticked at Logan. He say something to you? Do something?"

"You're sweet to be protective. I'm fine."

"If you ever want me to talk to him about the way he treats you, just say the word."

"How do you think he treats me? He barely knew me before and he's been nothing but nice since I got home. Well, besides making a crack about Spinelli-which I will not put up with-but other than that Logan has been great to me."

"I just want you comfortable. Happy. Maxie wants that too. So whatever it takes to get that....I'm here for you, okay?"

"Thank you, Coop," Georgie said. "Maybe there is leftover tension between me and Logan from the fights we used to have or whatever happened in the past but I'm ready to let all of it go."

"Good. He's really trying to get on with his life now that he's done with Lulu."

"Really done or just done for now?" Georgie asked.

"I pray really done. I don't know though. They always go back for another round even when it just gets uglier each time."

"Right. That's what I figured. Its really sad."

"He might be honestly over her now."

"Its not my concern. Another muffin?"

"Sure."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was not torture to be around her just because he couldn't kiss her.

That is what Logan told himself all day while he drug behind Maxie, Cooper and Georgie at fabric and furniture stores. He did like hanging out with them but he also constantly found himself staring a little too long at Georgie.

She seemed just a bit happier than when he brought her home last night and for that he was glad. But what he wouldn't give to see her glowing like when he came into Cooper's apartment and saw her for the first time in a year and a half.

The expression in her eyes then was pure joy. And he loved that look on her.

It would be best though to not worry about how she looked or didn't look cause he was barely her friend. She wasn't his woman to worry about.

Still, Logan worried anyway. They ended up getting take out Chinese and eating at Georgie's place, while watching movies. Maxie and Cooper headed home. Right after they left, Logan said "Let me help you clean up."

"I can handle it."

The tense way she said it made him stop cold. "Okay. I'll just go."

"Okay," she whispered, hoarsely.

Logan headed for the door then stopped. He wanted things to get better between them so damn bad. He couldn't stand the way she seemed upset around him for no reason at all. They were practically family! As long as Cooper was stuck on Maxie, then Logan and Georgie were gonna be stuck around each other and he just wanted them to be cool.

And he wanted to hold her. Sue him. He was needy that way.

Turning on his heel, he took large strides back across the room and pulled her into his arms. She yelped softly but her arms immediately went around him. He said "I'm really glad you're home. Maxie missed you so bad....you need to stay home, brown eyes. It ain't the same without you."

She held him tighter than he would have imagined she would. She sucked in a short gasp of air. The tension in the room shot up to record levels. Still he held on. She wasn't leaving go so either would Logan.

Georgie whispered "Its not the same without you either."

Logan startled at her confession. He pulled back, searching her eyes. "What does that mean?"

She eased away from him and adjusted her shirt. "Its just means....that you're important to Maxie and Cooper too."

He nodded. He felt like a fool for thinking she meant that he was important to her. "Night, doll."

"Bye, Logan. Thanks for paying for dinner."

"I owe Coop a lot of money still so its not a big deal."

"It was nice of you, all the same."

"Look at that. I can be nice when I really try."

"I always suspected that about you. Its good to know my suspicions were correct."

"All it took was another two years of growing up."

"I wasn't very grown up two years ago either so you weren't the only one making mistakes."

"What kind of mistakes did you make?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. I should let you get home."

"All right then." He reached out and touched her arm.

She stared at his hand on her bare flesh.

He said "Take care of yourself, girl."

She nodded. She barely seemed to be breathing. He just didn't know what to think. Maybe she was trying her best to be nice to him and not shake loose his hand or push away his hugs. Forcing herself to put up with him. It was like her to do something like that. Logan left her apartment more determined than ever to find someone to date so he could forget about wanting Georgie.

He spent way too long chasing after Lulu when she was just not that into him- not enough to justify a year and a half of misery- and he wasn't gonna chase Georgie down when she was hot and cold on him too.

No freaking way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You bringing me coffee and donuts at work," Logan told his sister the next day. "Huh. What are you up to, squirt?"

Serena tried to put on an innocent expression. "They got a new flavor in at the coffee house and I was thinking you'd like-"

"Yeah right. Try again." He rifled in the bag and pulled out a cream filled donut. Then took a bite. They were hanging around the fire station, where the paramedics also worked out of.

"Fine," Serena said, dropping all pretense. "Do you have a thing for my roommate?"

Logan choked on his donut. She passed him the coffee. He took a swallow of it. She asked "You okay?"

Coughing he said "Fine."

"You know if were choking you picked the perfect spot for it with all these sexy paramedics around. You work with some real hotties."

He took another swallow of coffee and then asked "Don't you have classes to be in today?"

"I've got time. Besides you started this. You're the one who was all worried about if Georgie was upset the other night when she came in. Now all I want to know is what you did to upset one of my oldest friends."

"Nothing. That girl just don't like me. She's been holding a grudge for years, to tell ya the truth. Sure she's trying hard to get along now but its painful for her. Its all a damn shame really. I can't pin down what it goes back to. The times I beat down Spinelli, that God awful bet with Maxie or just that she thinks I'm a Neanderthal like her hacker jackass buddy always called me."

"Hmm. You two are seriously a hot mess." Serena shook her head and turned to leave.

Logan called after her. "That's it? That's all you got to say?"

She turned around. "You want Georgie to like you more? Then spend more time thinking about ways to make her smile and less time trying to turn your ex, The Bitch, into an angel. You'll never make ho a housewife."

"I'm through with Lulu and one ain't got a thing to do with the other. Georgie can barely stand me. And you know what? I'm just trying to make us friendly. Nothing else."

"Oh.....okay." she said in a disbelieving tone. "Whatever you say. Hey, what are you getting Dad for Father's Day?"

"A new grill because his sucks. Now back to Georgie....what did she say that night when she got home about me?"

"That you two used to get into a lot of verbal smack downs."

"That's true enough. And she's not over it, is she?"

"She says she's putting all she felt before about you in the past."

"Good."

"Tell me something. How in the hell could you move to this town, look around, see Georgie and Lulu and Maxie....and choose to get in bed with the one chick who was taken, then fall in love with a hosebeast? What about Georgie?"

"What about her? She wasn't feeling me back then and she's not now. You should have heard the shit her and Spinelli used to say about me. But its done and over. I'm gonna get along with her now if it kills me."

"You got some messed up taste to pick Lulu over Georgie, that's all I'm saying. Try and make your next girlfriend be less of a demon sent from the depths of Hell. That would be a good start, Lo. Now I'm late for my biology lab. I have no more time for your drama."

"You act like I showed up at your job, squirt. This look like a perfume factory to you?"

"Bye!"

"Later," Logan said, with a sigh. Thinking about Lulu always put him in a pissed off mood. And, to add to his stress, Georgie was determined to be difficult. Saying she wanted a fresh start, with her pretty eyes and her sweet smile, but then slamming the door in his face and giving him looks like he was torturing her just by his mere presence.

He didn't know what the hell her problem was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was like a knife to Logan's heart to see Georgie at Jake's on the following Friday night.

He spent all week telling himself he had no desire to run into her around town...and then looking for her every time he was at Kelly's or the grocery store or the park.

Now that he finally had his eyes on her again she was sitting at a table with his drinking buddy Matt Hunter. Giving Matt a real genuine smile.

So that's what she looked like when she was into a guy. That same giddy little look she used to give Spinelli.

His jaw clenched. Damn it! She was stunningly beautiful when she smiled. And his heart started to do more than beat fast. It started to ache hard in his chest over her. He could remember so many times she was right there in front of him...standing behind the counter at the diner...asking about his day, Texas, the army....back when he first moved to town. Before she hated him.

But he couldn't think of her as a woman then. She was just Maxie's kid sister.

Now that there was no denying that Georgie was all grown up and all woman, Logan was not the only one noticing, it seemed. He knew he needed to just head to the bar, get a beer, and ignore Hunter hitting on Georgie or whatever they were up to.

His reckless nature sent him right over to their table instead.


	149. Second Time Around, 5

**Second Chance Around**

**June 2009**

**Part Five**

It was just so frustrating for Georgie to still not be able to look at Logan without wanting to kiss him. So gosh darn annoying.

She moved home to be with her family again, finish school, and finally break into the journalism field. She wasn't even longing for a lover anymore. She got used to living without any man in her life. But then she was on the plane coming home and Logan was invading her mind. It was like her body was on high alert over him. Aching to hear that Texas drawl that she felt down to the pit of her stomach. Dreaming about his tongue licking across her sensitive, heated flesh.

It was all she could do to turn her own brain onto some subject- any subject- other than him. That only lasted till the second she actually lay eyes on him at Cooper's apartment. Then she was all breathless again. Trying so hard to not let him mean a thing to her anymore. It had been over two years since they had a real and meaningful conversation....how much longer could one crush last?! Really!

Georgie was desperate to be free of her mind's obsession with the baddest bad boy in Port Charles. The one who only liked wild blondes, not normal and sedate brunettes. Of course now it was all so much more complicated. Cooper and Maxie were engaged and, for their sake, everyone needed to get along. That meant she would be seeing Logan a lot in the months and years to come.

This crush had to burn out and now.

Enter Matt. Date number one. He sat across the table from her at Jake's and made small talk. She liked everything about him. But he didn't make her heart race.

That only happened when she got a whiff of musky cologne and then Logan was at their table, with his hand clamping down on Matt's shoulder, and this tight grin on his lips. "Hunter. Lets play pool."

"Hayes, can't you see I'm getting to know the hottest woman in town right now? You got eye problems or something? I'll kick your ass in pool another night."

"Ha. I bet Georgie won't mind if I kick your ass in pool right now. Do you, doll?"

"I guess not. If you'll excuse me I'm going to use the ladies room. Have fun, guys."

She high tailed it out of there and ended up locking herself in the single person bathroom, then calling Brooklyn. "He's here!"

"Huh?"

"On my date. Logan showed up and he's messing up my first date for The "Get Over Him" List. How can I get over him if he's always around every corner?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan waited till Georgie was in the bathroom to toss his pool stick on the table and glare at Matt. "You just got paged for an emergency surgery. Take off."

"What the hell are you going on about this time, Hayes? You got to be so jealous all the time that I got game and the ladies lining up and you don't have anyone but a psycho ex-girlfriend blowing up your phone and egging your truck? Sorry that you wish you were with a hot chick like Georgie but you missed out. She called me up for this date. She's into me. Not you. Better luck next time."

"You barely know her, right?"

"Yeah. So what? That's what a first date is for. Getting to know her. What's it to you?"

"Don't ask what it is to me. Just answer this: are we buddies or not?"

Matt shook his head, in defeat. "Whatever. This means that much to you. Fine. I got paged but you owe me. Big time. And I plan to collect."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Okay, relax," Brooklyn told Georgie, over the phone. "You always get so crazy about this guy."

"I know that. And it needs to stop. I'm standing in the grossest bathroom on earth right now just so I don't have to be out there with him because you know what will happen if I am...I'll care more about what he's doing...or who he is dancing with...how much he is drinking...is he about to knock someone out...and why he's always so hurt and emotional and full of pain...and forget all about Matt. And Matt is pretty cute, Brooklyn. He's got these great, dark brown eyes and this scruffy bread and a caustic sense of humor."

"So just ask Matt to take you somewhere else."

"Okay. That's a good idea. Are you sure you can't come visit anytime soon? I could really use you right now. Just till I can make something work with one of the guys on this list and then I'll be okay. I'll be into him and Logan can go chase Lulu to the ends of the earth for all I care."

"I'm stuck in the studio. I have a deadline for this next album. But as soon as I'm done, I'll be there. You know I missed you. We barely got to hang out when I was in Italy."

"I know. It was a hectic time with school. I can't wait till you're here. You can keep me sane when Logan comes around."

"You sure he's really not done with Lulu?"

"He says he is but I've heard that before. Besides it doesn't matter. I want a guy who looks at me and wants to make my life amazing. He looked at her that way. I was just the chick with the coffee pot. I'm not being silly about him again and even entertaining the possibility that he'd ever think anything different now."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm so sorry about this, Georgie," Matt told her. "Its just the nature of the beast when you're a neurosurgeon."

"Of course, I understand."

"Thanks for the drink."

"You're welcome. Maybe we can do this again sometime?"

Logan butted in "Hunter, ain't someone waiting for you to cut into their head? You better run, man."

"Yeah, you're right. Later, man. Good night, Georgie."

"Good night, Matt. Nice to meet you."

"You too. I'm sure I'll see you around because of my brother and your cousin. Plus Port Charles isn't all that big. Again...I had a great time. Sorry about this." Matt shook his head, wearily, and left.

Logan, Matt, Cooper and Patrick had all grown close in the last year and the man code said that if Logan had real feelings for Georgie before she met Matt, and Matt had no feelings for her yet, then Matt needed to back off and let Logan see if he could make it work with Georgie.

Of course Logan could not say he had real feelings for Georgie. All he knew was he had real feelings about her hooking up with Matt...and those feelings started and ended with a bunch of curse words. In between the curse words were: not in this lifetime.

He turned to look at Georgie, after Matt left. She was standing there, shifting around nervously, as if she wished she could get away from Logan.

"Well," she said "that could have ended better. But it was nice while it lasted."

"Was it?"

"He's a nice guy. You two are friends?"

"Something like that. Coop had to make nice with Patrick- for Maxie's sake- and Matt was sort of a package deal with him so whatever. We all hang sometimes. He's all right."

"Its good to see you have more friends than enemies now. The tide is turning for you."

"About time, right?"

"Everyone grows up eventually."

"Right. So, you want to shoot some pool with me? Since I lost my opponent."

"I better get home, Logan."

"You sure?"

"I better."

She left without saying another word to him, as he stood there staring at her retreating figure. She did stop to pay her bar tab with Coleman, and after he made a joke, she flashed him a huge smile.

Freaking Hunter and Coleman get smiles and Logan gets jack shit from her. Typical.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I heard you're sick," Logan said, from Georgie's bedroom doorway, on Sunday night. "I stopped by to drop some leftovers off for Rena, from Lucy, and she said you're not feeling so hot."

Georgie dove beneath the covers. From underneath then she said "Its the flu. I'll be fine! Thanks for asking."

"Do you want some company?"

She made a strangled sound. Logan had no clue what that meant. He walked more into the room. He just hated the idea of her being sick and miserable. Even if she really should mean nothing to him. Some hot chick in a world full of hot chicks. But this one was Georgie...someone who meant the world to Maxie and Cooper...and that meant she was more than just a random hot chick.

She was also stuck in Logan's mind day and night and the idea of another man touching her made him insane. And now she was sick.

It tore at his heart to see her this way.

"Georgie? Let me stay for a few minutes at least. We can catch up more. I ain't even heard half of your stories from Europe, I bet."

"You don't want to get sick, too," she said, sticking her head out. Her hair was a mess but he found it adorable.

"I ain't worried."

"Okay....I guess you can sit down then."

He sat on the bed next to her and they spent an hour talking about her time in Europe and his time in the army until his cell rang. It was Lulu. That ticked him off and seemed to make her turn into an ice queen. She glared at him like he was just a loser who had a dumb toxic relationship with Lulu. Like he was someone Georgie could have no respect for.

Logan felt two inches tall in her eyes.

He high tailed it out of there, not calling Lulu back, and wondering why he could get two steps ahead with Georgie just to fall three steps back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A week later and they both found themselves at a charity dinner and dancing event at the Metro Court. Logan and Georgie had bumped into each other only once since the previous weekend. They were both jogging in the park on Thursday. She ran off after he said hello, looking all flushed and flustered while he watched her sprint away. She mumbled polite words that all sounded like _Get away from me_! to him.

He just didn't know why she had to be this way. Were his sins so horrible that she could never let them go? Well, to hell with her. Hell with her and her pretty brown eyes.

He was so done with her shit.

Of course, when he found her at the bar he didn't say any of that. Instead he grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Milo, really? I wouldn't peg you for going for such a boring dick wad."

She cut her eyes at him. "He'll be back from the bathroom soon and if he hears you talking smack about him, I promise you, I will knee you where its going to sting for days."

"You still got enough fire in you for twenty women."

Softly the words seemed to slip out of her mouth in an instant "You miss that when I went away?"

"Now that I got it back...yeah."

She shook her head, in dismay, at his answer. He didn't know what was wrong with it but, of course, it was something. God forbid she smile at him for more than two minutes in a row. He let out a long breath, as she looked at the bartender, then he asked "What you drinking?"

"Rum and coke."

He ordered her one and tipped the bartender. "You never were much for alcohol before."

"I'm still not but I'm twenty one now and this is a party."

"You hit twenty one, huh? You celebrate in style?"

"It was okay. I went with some girl friends to dinner."

"Sounds like crap. You need to really do something wild as a belated birthday present to yourself."

"Wild. I don't think so."

"Come on now. This is once in a lifetime stuff. You want to miss out on something that is once in a lifetime? You that kind of girl?"

She gave him a very pained expression. He was, unfortunately, getting way too used to seeing that look at her face.

Georgie asked "Don't you have a date to get back to, Logan?"

"She's dancing with her ex. Just my luck, ain't it?"

"Who are you here with?"

"Some society chick named Amanda Barrington. Lucy set us up. You know her?"

"She's gorgeous."

"She's all right."

"All right," Georgie muttered "Hmpf."

"Stop changing the subject. What are we gonna do about your birthday? I got some ideas, if you think you can stand to spend the day with me."

"Spend the day? What day?"

"Tomorrow, if you got time. You don't work Sundays, do ya?"

"I work straight week days."

"Same here. So....what do you say?"


	150. Second Time Around, 6

**Second Time Around**

**Part 6**

**June 2009**

_Spend the day with me,_ Logan had told Georgie, as they stood at the bar at the Metro Court.

She knew she should say no. Because her crush wouldn't fade away by spending more time with him. And she needed it to dissipate. He was still into only one type of girl. Drama causing blondes. And she would never be that.

But he wanted to friends. And she wanted that, too.

Mainly, though, she couldn't stop herself from saying things when it came to him. Things her brain hated but her heart felt. And with him- her heart always won. So after he asked for her to have a belated birthday celebration with him the next day, she found herself softly murmuring "All right."

His eyebrow raised. "You sure? Milo won't want to kick my ass or anything? Not that I wouldn't love the chance to mess him up. He never was my favorite person and I don't get how he managed to make you his date tonight. That guy always seemed as dumb as a box of rocks to me. What's the appeal?"

"Shh. He'll be back any second."

"Look at you. All protective of his ass."

"He's a nice guy and he agreed to this date when I asked him. So, of course, I don't want him hearing you running down his name."

"You asked that clown out?"

"Logan!" she hissed, as she grabbed her drink off the bar. "Go back to Amanda. You like wrestling woman away from other guys, right? Go have fun stealing her back from her ex."

Georgie walked away. He called after her. "Be ready at noon tomorrow and leave your bad attitude at home!"

Milo walked up to Georgie and scowled at Logan. Milo bent and whispered to Georgie. She smiled at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan drug his eyes away from Georgie. Freaking Milo. That idiot somehow made Georgie ask him out. What a bad joke and it was all on Logan.

He really shouldn't have wasted time on this Amanda chick. She was high strung and working his nerves already. Plus she was all cozied up with her ex out on the dance floor.

Not that Logan gave a damn. That guy could take her home for all he cared. He had more important things to think about. Like how to get Georgie to relax enough to enjoy their day together tomorrow.

Because if she wanted to date anyone...it should be him. Not friggin Milo.

Maybe Logan wasn't so done with Georgie and her mood swings quite yet. Their day tomorrow would decide if she was worth crushing on a little longer.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Serena knocked on the bathroom door the next day. "Logan just sent me a text. He said to wear jeans."

Georgie opened the bathroom door and gave Serena a pleading look. "Tell him I'm sick!"

"Are you sick?"

"I'm sick of myself. Does that count?"

"You agreed to a date with my brother and I'm not helping you ditch him."

"A date? This is just a friend's thing so that he can make Coop and Maxie happy. They're really pushing for a nice, stable family unit vibe. And I want that too. But spending all day with him....its going to make me want to spend weeks with him and then months. I just know it!"

"Is that so bad? He's a good guy, G."

"I know what kind of guy he is. The kind that chases every blonde who already has a boyfriend."

"And?"

"And what? Come on in. Help me do something with my make up."

Serena walked into the bathroom. "And what other kind of guy is Logan? If you know him so well."

"He's....devoted to Coop, even though he hurt him so bad before. But he loves him, I know that. He's really into family. He's reckless and crazy and mean sometimes but that's because he's scared and lonely. He's also sweet and protective and fun. He's old fashioned, which most people don't know, but he actually is. And he believes in soul mates."

"If you had to choose between Milo and Logan, who would you pick?"

"Logan is not an option. He's never once looked at me like I was anything more than the boring, lame, bookish brat he has to put up with."

"So why is he taking you out today? He's spending his time and money on a brat?"

"For the sake of Cooper. You know they consider each other brothers. There's nothing he would not do to make Cooper's life better. Especially now that he is guilt ridden over still having feelings for Maxie."

Serena laughed. "Okay, now you're pushing it. Does he date loud and wild blondes? Yeah. But if he's got lingering feelings for any ex of his its The Bitch, not Maxie. And believe me I hate to say that because I can't stand Lulu's ass."

"You weren't here when they got together. You don't know how insane he was over Maxie."

"I know that he has only been on one date in six months and that was last night. He only went to that event because Lucy made the whole family go. And today Logan is not spending the day with Amanda...he's spending it with you. So, if you want to live in the land of denial, feel free. Pitch a tent if you want. But here in reality....it looks like Logan is breaking his streak of blondes....and he's breaking it because he's into you. Just my two cents. Ignore it if you want to. Now lets get your face looking good for my brother and this 'just friends' non-date."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was extremely tempted to ignore Maxie's call when she rang his cell, right before he was gonna knock on Georgie's door. But it could be an emergency about Cooper so he answered. "Yeah?"

"Where are you taking my sister?"

"What's it to you?"

"She's my sister. That is what it is to me. Don't annoy me. Is it somewhere nice?"

"I got it handled. It'll be good."

"Good."

"So, what? You're okay with this?"

"I don't even know what's going on. Georgie hasn't said word one about you to me. I just know that she gave you this look that night when you guys had dinner over here.....just one look but I caught it."

"What kind of look?"

"Just be good to my sister. And if you aren't....run far away because I'm not having her leave town over you. You leave town, if somebody has to go."

"I'm not going no where, missy. My family is here. And I ain't looking to chase Georgie away. I'm glad she's home and I want her to stay home and be happy and see that Europe ain't got shit on here. Because this town sucks but we're here."

"Exactly! I really want Georgie to be happy here and not make her life in Europe. So if you can make her happy, please do it, and don't screw it up."

"That's at the top of my list these days too."

"Well call me later and tell me if you managed to make her happy or not. And don't blow me off!"

"You ain't getting no play by play."

"Don't make any plays. This is a first date and she's not like that. Logan....okay....you need to get that she hasn't dated anyone seriously in two and a half years. So you keep your hands to yourself till she tells you otherwise. You like your hands, right? You need them for work, right? Don't piss me off."

"Geez! Good bye!"

"Bye. Be good. Make her happy. I love you both."

"I know you do. Bye."

Logan let out a breath and knocked on the door.

Georgie had managed to make him crazy since she came home. Made him hot for her just because she looked freaking gorgeous and happy- at least that first night she was happy. Made him mad because she dated Milo and tried to have a date with Matt, too. Made him hurt because she acted like he was a loser. Made him desperate to convince her he was not still a loser and also desperate to just forget she existed at all.

But he couldn't. She was Georgie and she would always be in his life somehow.

He wanted this day to be the start of a romance but just having them get along, and her smile and relax, would be enough for him. He wanted to give her a magical belated twenty first birthday and he hoped that all he had planned would do that for her.

Serena opened the door. "Hey," she whispered

"How does she seem? Is she gonna back out on me?" Logan whispered back.

"Get in here and charm her. But not the pants off her cause this is Georgie.

Another person to warn him off being a dirty scuzz and feeling Georgie up the first chance he got. Logan tried not to take it personal. Maybe it was not about him. It was about her. Coop, Maxie and Serena cared so much that they didn't want Logan hurting Georgie.

He didn't want that either.

Serena called for her and Georgie came into the living room. "Hello, Logan. This is very nice of you to do."

"Its not a chore. I wanna."

"Okay. Well, I'm sure Coop appreciates the effort."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Coop?"

Serena rolled her eyes.

Georgie asked "You're trying to make sure we become friends for Cooper's sake, right? We need to all be cool with each other from now on. Coop and Maxie will be married by Christmas and its important that we don't cause friction for them, right? I'm sure Cooper is glad you are going so out of your way to be nice to me like this."

Logan stood there dumb founded. Now she thought this was some kind of pity date. Freaking great!

Serena said "I have studying to get to so later for you two. Have fun! Within reason. Be home by dark."

"Get out of here, squirt," Logan told her with grin.

She smirked back at him and went down the hall and into her room.

Logan stared at Georgie. She looked, once again, to be barely breathing and like she would rather be on Mars than with him. He let out a breath. "Before we head out I wanted to ask you a few things....you got any major fears?"

"Fears?"

"You know, stuff you can't handle. Like heights? Small enclosed spaces? That kind of thing."

"Um...snakes. I'm not much of a fan of those. I can't think of anything else. If we go to the zoo we could just skip the reptile exhibit."

"The zoo ain't hardly a wild twenty first birthday celebration."

"So what is?"

"Go get a bathing suit, brown eyes."

"Really?"

"You ain't shy, are you?"

She looked like she might pass out. Logan moved close to her and added "Okay, we can skip that part if you ain't up for it."

"I don't want you to change a thing about this day you have planned. I want to do everything you had in mind. I'll be right back."

He watched her leave the room. When she came back she had a small beach bag. Georgie gave him a smile. "Suit, flip flops, sunscreen, towels, sundress. I'm ready."

"Do you have plans for later? Because this might take all day."

"I have all day."

"Good."

They headed for the door. She said, wearily, "Thank you for doing this."

"You're thanking me but you don't seem like you're even into going."

"I want to go."

"You're forcing yourself, brown eyes, and I don't like that. I don't even get it, to tell you the truth. You still stuck on what I did to your sister? Or is this all Spinelli related? You can't get over me beefing with him?"

"Neither. Its just taking me time to see you as my friend. Can't you give me time?"

"Maybe after today you'll see me that way."

"That's what I really, truly want most in this world, Logan. I want us to have a good friendship."

"Okay. Me too."

"Okay."


	151. Second Time Around, 7

**Second Time Around**

**Part Seven**

**June 2009**

Georgie stood a few feet away from Logan in Lake Erie. It was nearly sundown and she couldn't stop smiling. The day he had given her kept amazing her, over and over.

First he rented a motorcycle-which freaked her out but she put on a brave face because this is what he wanted to share with her. The ride turned out to be a heart racing event that she wouldn't mind repeating some other time. After they took the bike back, he took her sky diving. Another scary and crazy moment. He had never done it before and it was exhilarating for both of them. Lunch was spent on a glass bottom boat where they had a conversation about her dreams of being a novelist. Next he drove her to a park where there was a waterfall and they went to look at it. He told her to make a wish.

They threw pennies at the waterfall, even though Georgie said she never heard of such a thing. She wished for more good days with Logan. She wondered what he wished for but she didn't ask.

He stopped for ice cream on the way out to the lake. She was blissfully happy by that point and wandering if maybe Serena was right. Maybe Logan had finally decided he wanted a brunette in his bed...but she couldn't be sure. He was a complicated man, after all.

When they got to the beach they went parasailing. Then they decided to swim for a while.

Staring at him in the setting sun she loved the way his eyes seemed so full of life in that moment. So many times she saw pain there and that always broke apart her heart. But today he wasn't looking miserable at best...he was looking glad to be with her.

If this is what being his friend was like she would be his friend for all the days of her life.

"Come here," Georgie told Logan, who was keeping his distance in the lake.

She had been nervous to walk out of the bathrooms in her bathing suit but now she was starting to relax about being in front of him in it. It was a simple, red, cross back style suit. Athletic looking, not sexy. But he looked at her in it like he did think she looked pretty darn hot.

Logan moved close to Georgie. "Yeah, brown eyes?"

"Thank you for this day. I loved it."

"Its not over yet. You up for more?"

"What else do you have in mind? Because now we're wet and not really in any condition to go into places. Not that I don't want to. Its been....just one of the most exciting days of my life."

"Twenty first birthdays should be."

"You're being so good to me. And I'm always so bitchy to you."

"Sometimes. Not always."

She chuckled. "And sometimes you're a jerk...but not always. Sometimes you're really amazing and a good friend."

"See? We're making this friends thing work out just fine."

Emotionally, she told him "I'm so glad I came home."

Georgie stared into his eyes. He seemed to be overcome with just as much emotion as her. He hugged her tight against him. "This was our day, Georgie, and no matter what goes down from here on out, no one can take this from us, okay? Its our good memories. You feel that way too, right?"

She nodded, as she rested her head on his shoulder. All around there were people but Georgie and Logan didn't notice them.

When he finally let her go. He asked "You wanna race to that buoy over there?"

She smiled. "If you lose, will you pout?"

"Will you?"

"I don't pout."

"Yeah, right, that must be some other brown eyed girl I know."

"I don't pout," she repeated as she dived into the water and took off for the buoy.

"And you cheat!" he said, laughing, and then swam after her.

After she beat him, she was standing there, dripping wet with her hair slicked back, and she told him "I'm sorry for cheating. Lets race again and this time it can be fair."

He raised his thumb and put it under her chin. "Tell me you never had a day like this in Europe."

"Never."

"Good because I want you to know there are good days to be had close to home too, Georgie. And me, Coop, Maxie, your Dad and all your other friends and family....we like it when you're home."

"Its nice of you to be the one who shows me how good home can be....even if you're doing it not just for yourself."

"Lets race again. And this time I get a head start because I'm not losing twice to no girl." Logan dove into the water, leaving Georgie there giggling as she watched him swim away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie had her flip flops kicked off, her jeans and t-shirt back on, and she was curled up in the passenger seat of Logan's truck, as he was text messaging in the driver's seat. They were still parked at the beach.

Georgie had done her best to get her hair into a decent looking pony tail and put on a little make up but she knew she didn't look as good as earlier. Still she didn't care. Logan made her so happy that day that she stopped worrying so much and decided to go with the flow.

She was so tranquil that she could fall asleep. The lake had definitely made her tired. Not to mention she was up half the night before thinking about Logan and having fantasies of them having sex all over The Metro Court, sneaking away from that party they were at to rip each other's clothes off.

She wondered if he ever had that kind of fantasy about her. She thought the kind of day he gave her was more than he would do for any friend but she couldn't be completely sure. He certainly hadn't tried to kiss her at any point or said anything that was romantic. She was too relaxed to let her brain go off on crazy tangents about how Logan saw her.

He'd let her know if they were friends or more. She just knew she was still as nuts over him as she had ever been.

"Georgie," he said, softly.

"Mmm hmmm?" She was facing away from him with her eyes closed.

"You too wiped out for the rest of this day?"

She opened her eyes and put her feet on the floor. "I'm good." She yawned.

Logan chuckled. "You sure? Cause you're gonna need energy for this. But I think it will be worth it."

"I'm up for it. Promise."

He grinned. She loved that smile of his. So full of devilish amusement always.

He said "Good. Buckle up then."

"Where to now?"

"I wanna show you my house."

She jerked completely alert. Gone was the tranquil hazy state.

_Oh my God, _she though_. His house! Oh my God! Alone in his house. OH MY... _"That sounds nice."

He nodded and flipped on the radio. Garth Brooks sang : Ain't going down till the sun comes up. Ain't giving in till we get enough. Go around the world in a pick up truck. Ain't going down till the sun comes up.

She spent the car riding asking him about what it was like to be paramedic. An hour later, when they were just ten minutes from his house he asked "Could you do me a favor? Close your eyes and don't open them till I say."

Georgie closed her eyes.

Logan said "No complaining or questioning me about this? I think we're making progress, brown eyes. This day did us some good, huh?"

"You spent a lot of money on me-"

"What the hell? Are you saying I somehow bought your friendship?"

"No. I'm saying I should pay you back for half. Because this has been a wonderful day and I don't think its fair to bankrupt you over it."

"Okay. Stop your worrying. I got savings now. I'm fine for money. All the free rent really helps."

"Are you sure? Don't be too proud to take my money."

"Did Milo let you pay last night?"

"Logan," Georgie whimpered.

"I didn't mean to start no fight with you."

"Its just really unfair that you just threw Milo in my face like that. Do you see me saying Amanda right now? Or Lulu? Hmmm? This is our day.....and I don't want it ruined. Even if we are only friends, let this be my day with just you. If not for you....then for me....." She softly whispered "I wanted a day like this with you for a long time."

The truck jerked to an abrupt stop. "Open up those brown eyes, girl."

Georgie looked around. "We're in the middle of the intersection. You can't stop here. Cars will come along soon and we'll be blocking traffic."

"What do you mean...for a long time?"

"Could you pull the truck to the side of the road? This is a real hazard."

He grabbed her face with his hands, forcing her to stare right in his eyes. "Answer me."

She knew what she was starting by telling him she wanted him for a long time. It hadn't just slipped out. The way he got offended about her offer to pay and the hurt in his voice over Milo made Georgie desperate to stop the misunderstandings between them. She wanted complete honesty now.

And then the chips could fall where they may.

Her breathing got shallow as she confessed "Before you asked Lulu out, I was hoping you'd ask me out, but you didn't. And then you did a lot of things that made me mad at you and then I left town, hoping to forget about you, but I didn't. Then I came back...determined to get over whatever I felt for you...but today showed me I can't do that. I loved this day, Logan. Because of all we did but mainly because it was all with you. It wouldn't mean nearly as much if I was with someone else." Her lips quivered as she added "Its been my best day ever."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My best day ever. His heart swelled in his chest. She was completely amazing and he couldn't get enough of her. Slowly he brought his lips toward hers, till just a small gap was left, and whispered "Can I kiss you, brown eyes?"

"Let me kiss you."

She brushed her lips over his in a butterfly light caress and then added more pressure, then licked her tongue across his lips. He opened those lips as he tugged her body closer to his, and her tongue darted into his mouth.

She tasted like the strawberry ice cream she had earlier. Sweet and delicious.

Georgie left Logan breathless by the time she pulled away. Their eyes were locked on each other. Searching for answers, filled with hope and hunger.

A car horn honked. Someone was at the stop sign and wanted to get through the intersection. Logan started driving again, as Georgie stayed right next to him. His arm was flung around her back, keeping her against him. She murmured "That kiss was worth waiting two years for, totally."

He grinned. "I wish it happened two years back instead but I ain't complaining now. Tell me that you liked this day enough to have more of them with me."

"I like you enough to have more of them. You. Not what you do for me. This day was perfect but don't try and repeat it. Just be you. I like you when you're sitting on a stool in a diner being half a jackass. You don't have to work overtime to romance me."

"I wanna."

"Okay. But just stay you. I like you, Logan. More and more each day since I've come home. I know it didn't seem like it but it was just hard for me to believe you'd like me back."

"Well, believe it now, cause I'd damn crazy about you. Now close those eyes again for me, girl."

She closed them. Her head leaned against his chest. He managed to park the car, two minutes later, without moving her an inch. Then he said "So I'm thinking twice about the next part of this night now but its too late to change it....just know that I want you to come back here again. Maybe it won't be real soon but I hope its not too long either. Anyway, sit still here and I'm gonna go around to your door and help you out.

Once he had her door open he picked her up and carried her inside. "Okay. I'm putting you down now."

"Can I open my eyes?"

"One second, okay? You missed sharing your birthday with your friends and that just ain't right because nobody in Europe cares about you like we do here. Happy Birthday, Georgie."

"SURPRISE!" everyone at the party yelled.

Her eyes popped open to see her friends gathered in Logan's cottage. She looked up at him smiling. "When did you plan all this?"

"Just an hour ago. So if it sucks blame Coop. He put it all together."

While they were swimming Logan got the idea that Georgie deserved a real birthday bash. Back in his truck he sent Cooper a text to hit the store for some food to cook out and alcohol, and to get as many people as he could out to the cottage. Since Sam, Maxie, and Serena were all planning a girls night at Jake's- and were at Cooper's getting ready- he snagged them to help. They called Spinelli, Robin, Patrick, Matt, Nadine, Leyla and a bunch more college kids that Serena and Georgie knew. Though only some had shown up by the time Logan brought Georgie there he had no doubt that more would be dropping by as the word spread about a party with free booze.

Georgie looked at Cooper. "Thank you. That was so nice of you."

Then her sister and her girl friends were all hugging her and pulling her away to the bedroom. Logan watched her go. Cooper walked over. He asked "You got the girl, didn't you?"

"Somehow....yeah...I got the girl."

"And you'll be real good to her, right?"

"Without a doubt."

They gave each other a man hug. Then Logan added "Now lets get drunk. This is a party after all."


	152. Second Time Around, 8

**Second Time Around**

**Part Eight**

**June 2009**

Georgie's head was spinning. All day long- as Logan gave her a belated twenty-first birthday celebration- she had been feeling closer and closer to him. Like maybe he really did want her to be his girlfriend. Finally. After two years of her wanting him to see her that way.

But not until the moment when he actually asked to kiss her did she know for sure that he wanted her. Everything else could have been simple friendship. That kiss, though, that kiss so much more than friendship. It was steamy and sweet at the same time. Deliciously erotic and tender. It was perfect. The way she kissed him and he kissed her back.

They were going to be so good together. She could feel it. Never had she craved a man to be her lover like she craved Logan.

There were times when he was so annoying, pig headed, mean and pure trouble. Back in his rowdy, hell raising days. But even back then there was something in his voice sometimes- a pleading for understanding- and something in his eyes- a desperate ache- that called out to her very soul: Save me, Georgie. Love me, Georgie. Want me, Georgie. See me, Georgie.

And she did.

She thought he would want her back but he wanted Lulu and he wanted Maxie and he wanted drama. Noise. Nuttiness. Pain. Madness.

So she went to Europe six months early. After their worst fight ever. They were standing in an otherwise empty Kelly's at a little after ten pm:

"We're closed. What do you want, Logan?"

His eyes burned with fury. His hands clenched and unclenched. If he was anyone else she would think he was about to hit her.

But this was Logan. He liked to get in bar fights. Not beat up his girlfriends. Something in her trusted him without any reason. She never suspected him of being the TMK killer. She pointed the finger instead at Cooper and when Logan found out he was furious.

"You are gonna tell me why the fuck you told your father Coop is a serial killer and you're gonna do it now!"

"I don't owe you any explanations. I'm trying to save my sister's life!"

"He loves her! Don't you know anything about love? Don't you know anything about family? You stand around here judging me and everyone but you know nothing! Nothing! You're just a little girl who thinks she's better than the whole world. Well go read some more Nancy Drew mystery novels, Georgie, or huddle up on the computer and play Clue with that little geek twit buddy of yours! But you leave the crime solving to the professionals before you ruin an innocent man's life. Morgan could have shot Coop over this shit. He's looking for revenge because his sister was killed by this freak text message killer. You ever think of that, huh?"

"I never wanted that to happen. I just wanted the killer arrested so that we'd all be safe. You have no right screaming at me. No right! Go to hell, Logan. Get out of this diner and out of my life. All you ever do is yell and throw things and act like a fool! You want to do something with your life? Go find the killer and save my sister!"

"I'm doing the best I can. You keep your nose out of it. It ain't safe and you ain't qualified. I better never hear you telling anybody Cooper is a killer again!"

"Or what?"

"Just don't do it! Stop being such a child! Grow up! One look at Cooper and Maxie together should tell you he never walked into your house and wrapped his fingers around her throat. I don't think you got a clue what love is. I really don't."

"GO AWAY! I HATE YOU!"

And he did go away. And then she went away to Europe to forget about him for good. Only she didn't. She managed to not drown in fantasies about him until she was flying over the ocean...back to his side of the planet again...and all of it came rushing back. Combining that with all the times she stood in art museums and saw couples holding hands, and she walked along beaches alone, and she wandered what he might think of Italy, it all melded together to make her long to see him again. But she told herself it was useless to feel that way.

Till she saw him. And then she really freaked out. It was all still there. Every single emotion he brought out in her. Now, at his home, being drug into a bedroom by her friends, her heart raced with happiness that all these months of wanting him were paying off.

The pain and the heartbreak were melting away and being replaced by hopefulness and happy new memories.

"Tell me everything and leave nothing out!" Maxie told Georgie, in a super excited voice.

Serena said "Okay, leave some stuff out. This is my brother we are talking about here."

"Cover your ears then," Sam told Serena.

"I'm not listening to sex talk about my brother. I don't have the money for the therapy I would need."

"Enough, you two," Maxie said "I want to hear this."

Georgie asked Maxie "Are you sure? Because you always told Logan he better keep his eyes and hands and lips off me."

"That was when he was an ass and with Lulu. He's done with that now. He hasn't been with her in six months. Sure I thought, at first, he'd go there again. But I don't think that anymore. He's so over her and he's really been lonely lately. But enough about him...all that matters is if you like him and if you're happy. You look like you're glowing and if he can do that then you won't leave me again, right? You won't run off to Europe for another seventeen months or more away from me...I mean...here, right?"

Georgie hugged her sister. "Maxie, even if I go back to Europe again, I'll always come home. You know that, right?"

In a teary voice, still hugging her sister, Maxie cried "You were gone so long!"

Georgie felt bad for not realizing how hard the whole separation was on her sister. Maxie had very bad abandonment issues and she counted on Georgie to always be by her side. Georgie couldn't push aside her dreams completely because of that but she knew, in the future, she wouldn't ever leave for that long again. She'd take shorter trips and make sure she was around when her sister needed her. Not threaten to move to Europe forever like she had when she was in the midst of her _Getting Over Logan Hayes For Good _plan.

Thank God that plan was now thrown out the window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Around 11 pm that night it was time for Georgie to head home. She walked across the party to where Logan was hanging out with some guys. They hadn't had much time to talk at all because both of them kept getting pulled in opposite directions all night. She had friends from school there that she needed to catch up with and he had work the grill and keep the coolers filled with beer and ice, and the bonfire stoked.

He was standing by that bonfire when she walked over. "Hey."

"Brown eyes," he said with an easy smile. He was holding a beer. "You enjoying your party?"

"I love it. But I need to get home now. I have work in the morning. Serena is going too, since she has early classes, so I'll catch a ride with her."

"Let me walk you to the car."

They headed around the house. "Logan....I just can't tell you what this day means to me. I've heard so many stories about the....insane...way you and Lulu were together after I left for Europe. I know we're nothing like that- at all- but its just amazing that you can put aside all that pain and all that craziness and give me this perfect day....that you would even risk your heart like this for me. I never thought you would. I'm still in shock."

"All day today I've just been doing all I can to make you understand I do care about you, Georgie. I get that I'm really late in showing you that. You would have liked me to get with the program a long time. But we have right now still....and I'm trying to show you now all I feel for you. Every way I know how. I'm trying to be the guy you want around.....not Hunter and not Giambetti and really not Spinelli. Cause, you might like him and all, but he ain't ever gonna be the man you really need. That's me. I know it is."

"Just so you know, I didn't kiss Matt or Milo. And, of course, there's nothing between me and Spinelli because he has a girlfriend."

"You don't got to tell me what you've done with other guys."

"I just want you to know, okay?"

"Well, uh....I guess you should know something too."

"I don't want to hear about Lulu. Seriously. Not today. This is our day, Logan. Leave her out of our day. Tell me another time."

"Nah, this ain't about her. I stay far from that chick now. She calls and e-mails but I never get back at her anymore. This is about...uh...I know you're not gonna like hearing this but I kinda made sure that date with Hunter was a bomb. I told Hunter to fake having to work and get out of there."

"You did what?"


	153. Second Time Around, 9

**Second Time Around**

**Part Nine**

**June 2009**

Logan said, as he stood outside his cottage after Georgie's birthday party, "I told Hunter to fake having to work and get out of there."

"You did what?"

"I couldn't let you maybe fall for that guy, Georgie. He's my buddy, sure, but he ain't half good enough for you. Nobody is. I'm gonna try to be from now on though. I know it probably pisses you off that I messed up that date. But its done now. Don't be sore at me, okay?"

"I don't like you manipulating my life but I like the fact you didn't want me with anyone else."

"Of course I didn't. I was already falling for you. Falling hard, brown eyes."

"You didn't say anything. Why not?"

"Because I wasn't sure it mattered to you that I was interested. You kept getting really sad around me."

"I was trying to convince myself to get over my crush on you and it wasn't working."

"Why not try and convince yourself to get with me?"

"Logan, I just didn't think there was any way that you were interested in me."

"I've been interested since the second I walked into Coop's apartment and saw you sitting there laughing with your sister. You looked so happy, brown eyes. Absolutely beautiful. Didn't you notice I couldn't even talk or think straight that night?"

"I thought you were still mad about our fight over Cooper being the TMK. I thought you hated having to be nice to me."

"That fight was ugly and I'm sorry about it now. But I let my anger at what you had done and what you thought about Coop go the very next day. I couldn't stay mad at you. Even back then I could never stay mad at you. Even when you would talk shit about me with Spinelli. I'd want to wring his neck. But, when it came to you, I only wanted to get you to see me different. And then you moved away and somehow you became this amazing woman when I wasn't looking....you were a pretty girl before. Sweet. Smart. But now you're the full package. All that time away made you even better in every way. That first night when you were back I saw a light in your eyes that just wasn't there two years ago. I can't believe you really wanted me back then and you still do now." With his trademark insecurity in his voice he asked "You want me, right? You ain't rethinking anything yet, are you?"

She smiled slightly. "It will be a cold day in Hell when I rethink wanting you."

Logan laughed happily. He pulled her into a hug. Georgie clung to him until Serena came out of the house. Then they broke apart.

Serena smiled. "Now this....I love! LOVE! The Bitch will be crying her eyes out when she hears about this. And two of my favorite people are happy. Yay me!"

"Squirt, you better not be tipsy if you're driving home."

"I'm not. Promise."

"All right. Good night, girls."

"Bye, Lo," Serena said "Great party. And just so you know Dad was like on cloud friggin nine that you came by this morning for Father's Day."

"Yeah, well, I like to throw the old guy a bone every once in a while."

Georgie smiled at Logan. She had heard he mended fences with Scott. It was great to know they were getting so close. She didn't know what she would do without her own father in her life. She had went to have breakfast with Mac, for the holiday, knowing that she would spend the rest of the day with Logan. Robin and Maxie took Mac to lunch and then he spent the rest of the day at work. They all bought him goofy shirts and hats that said World's Best Dad and World's Best Uncle and Dad of the Century. He loved it. He'd wear those garish gifts to mow the lawn and proudly show the world what his girls thought of him.

Serena got in her car. Georgie looked at Logan. "Since you gave me a great day of memories today, how about I give you one tomorrow night? Unless you have plans or want to wait till next weekend or something? Or just figure this out later. I could call you."

"Lets not get things all screwed up by waiting on phone calls. Tomorrow works for me. I don't want to wait till next weekend. That's crazy talk, girl. Crazy. I'm a little drunk but I'm not crazy. How about I pick you up tomorrow at eight?"

"I'll pick you up because this is my chance to take you out. How about we go to that roadhouse out on Rural Road 3? You know the one? Its still there, right?"

"Yeah. Its there. Is that your kind of place though?"

"Its yours, right? They have line dancing and that mechanical bull and peanuts all over the floor. Its as country as you get this close to Canada. So what do you say?"

"Sign me up, brown eyes."

She smiled and then climbed into the car. Logan stood there and watched them pull out. Georgie couldn't stop smiling.

Serena said to her "So you were so wrong. So wrong. He wasn't taking you out for Cooper's sake at all. I can't believe you thought that. As if he's that selfless. I love him but come on."

"Okay. You told me so. And you were right."

"You got a great man in love with you, Georgie."

"In love? I'm just happy he wants to date me. Love will come in time, Serena."

"I've never seen him look at Lulu like he does you. I think maybe my brother is just about to learn what love really is. And I'm so relieved. It sent a cold chill down my spine to think about spending Thanksgiving for the next fifty years dealing with The Bitch."

"You really hate Lulu, don't you?"

"If she could have just picked between Johnny and Logan then I wouldn't have such a problem with her. I know you'll never hurt Logan's heart like she did."

"I promise I never will."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie loved the feel of being in Logan's arms as they slow danced at the country and western bar. He had slipped the band some money to make sure that one of the last songs of the night, when the place was starting to clear out, was dedicated to Brown Eyes.

Keith Urban sang: I'm gonna be here for you, baby. I'll be a man of my word. Speak the language in a voice you have never heard. I wanna sleep with you forever. And I wanna die in your arms- in a cabin in a meadow where the wild bees swarm. I'm gonna love you. Like nobody loves you. I'll earn your trust making memories of us.

With one hand in his and his arm wrapped around her back, she looked into his eyes and her crush ended. Because now she was starting to love him up close and personal. Not drool over him, and cry over him, and scream over him, from afar.

"Georgie, I ain't had a night like this, in a bar like this, with a pretty girl like you-"

"Since Texas?"

"Since ever."

She smiled giddily.

The song went on: I wanna to honor your mother. I wanna learn from your Pa. I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw. I wanna stand out in a crowd for you. A man among men. I wanna make your world better than its ever been. I'm gonna love you. Like nobody loves you. I'll earn your trust make memories of us.

Logan said "Tell me what in the hell would make you want me two years ago. I was a wreck back then and I'm just getting my feet under me again now."

"When you first moved to town, before I knew you were into Lulu, you would sit at the counter in Kelly's and drink your coffee. And you'd make small talk. But for me that wasn't just small talk. I was memorizing every word of your stories about growing up on a farm and about the war and about Cooper. You showed me a lot of yourself and I thought we connected...but I realized later you were just being friendly and then, by summer time, it all changed. You and Maxie made your bet. The rest was just a big mess until I left for Italy."

"I definitely- no way in hell- was ready for you back then. But I am now. I got myself together. A good job and a home and I even got things on track with my father and my sisters and Maxie and Cooper. I ain't that same hot head anymore, okay?"

"I believe you. I know I had to grow up for you too."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

The song went on: I'm gonna be there for you from now on. This you know, somehow. You've been stretched to the limits but its all right now. I'm gonna make you a promise: if there's life after this, I'm gonna greet you with a warm, wet kiss. And I'm gonna love you. Like nobody loves you. And I'll earn your trust making....memories...of...us."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

July 2009

Georgie lay in bed with Logan, in his cottage, on the Fourth of July weekend. Later they would go to the carnival and watch fireworks but for right now, around twelve noon, they still hadn't managed to crawl out of bed yet. She loved the fact that neither of them worked weekends. That meant they had plenty of time to grow their relationship and that is just what they had been doing for the last few weeks.

The night before was their first night sleeping together. She couldn't get enough of him and, even now, she hated the idea of getting out of this bed. Her head rested on his chest. She lay a soft kiss there.

"You hungry, girl?"

"Yeah."

He started to get out of bed but she pulled him back down. Georgie added "But I can wait. We can get food at the carnival....please...just a little while more. Hold me, okay?"

Logan pulled her back against him. "I can do that."

He would be holding her in those strong and steady of arms of his- the arms she waited to be held in, and the arms that once were so shaky before he finally lay down his rage and heartache- those arms would hold her for all the rest of her life.

And all their memories would multiply until there were millions. Millions of memories of Georgie and Logan. Memories of a love that was almost never found.

A love that made a man whole and a woman happy. A love that made babies and grandbabies and a love that took them around the world together...until they finally ended up on a Texas farm together.

Making their last memories.

Georgie said, that July morning, "I know its kinda soon to tell you this....but I'm in love with you, Logan."

"Nah, its not too soon. You know when I knew I was in love with you, Georgie?"

She looked up and into his eyes. She whispered, hoarsely, "When?"

"When you were about to jump out of that plane with that instructor and I thought what in the hell am I doing? She could die....and then I jumped after you....and I didn't want to be land safely unless you did too."

She told him "I never thought I could do half the things you've inspired me to do. I've been louder and crazier and more intense over you than I thought I could be. And I've been quieter and sadder and more patient than I knew I could be, too. I've been mad and stubborn and mean. And I've been happy and hopeful and more loved than ever before...and more loving than ever before. I've been everything over you and we're just getting started."

She straddled him. Bending over she kissed him softly and said "If you ever want this to be over....you have to leave me...because I could never leave you, Logan. Never. I'll never leave you behind again."

He grinned. "You'll see, brown eyes, I'm not gonna leave you either."

Logan didn't leave Georgie till the day he fell asleep on a rocking chair, under the late morning Texas sun , and he never woke up again. But he wasn't completely gone because he left behind sons and daughters, and grandsons and granddaughters and Cooper and Tina and Georgie....and memories.

(I'm gonna love you. Like nobody loves you. I'll win your trust making memories of us.)

THE END

Note- Serena, Scott, and Maxie died before Logan. That is why he did not leave them behind.

Thanks for reading about Glo.


	154. Ease The Pain, Glo, 1

**Note**- Cooper saved Georgie from the Text Message Killer and now Diego is in prison. Cooper and Maxie decided to break up in February but to be friends. It was a mutual decision. Cooper set his sights on Nadine after that.

**Ease The Pain**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part One**

**May 2008**

"You're working for the Zaccharas now?"

"What's it to you, Georgie?"

Their eyes met as they faced off outside of Kelly's diner. She had been heading into work when he was walking out the door.

When she didn't answer him, Logan hissed "Nothing. That's what I thought. So stay out of it," and then he walked away, as she watched him leave.

Lately he was colder than ever to her. It was all her own fault he acted that way and her own fault that it affected her so deeply now. That it cut her to her bone. That he made her feel like she was spilling her guts all over the floor every time he was around.

She used him. Hooked up with him for one night when her heart was shattering hard in her chest over her sister getting with the man Georgie had wanted for herself. What she did afterwards, Logan would never forgive. As the days went by, Georgie started to see his point.

_Georgie hid in his bathroom. She had quickly taken a shower and got back into her clothes, pulled her hair into a messy ponytail, and now she was just standing there, staring in the mirror and wondering what in God's name was wrong with her._

_It all happened so quick. She was at The Catacombs with Spinelli, Cooper, Maxie and Nadine. Just all hanging out as friends. She really thought this might be the night where Spinelli saw she wanted more from him. He had been hanging out with Maxie lately- having her help him with his very first case as a private eye which involved someone who was a model- but Georgie hadn't realized how close they got._

_Till she spotted them kissing at the club._

_Feeling like a complete fool she ran outside and bumped into Logan, who had decided to meet up with everyone there. She grabbed his hand and begged for a ride home. In his truck she asked him why no man ever looked twice at her anymore._

"_I've looked twice, doll, and I can assure you that I like what I see. Can't speak for no other man but this man thinks you're damn fine."_

_The flirting started, back and forth, the intensity building until she was just emotional enough and just turned on enough to forget all about being rational. "Take me home with you," came out of her mouth and ten minutes later they were ripping each other's clothes off._

_As soon as it was over, Georgie jumped out of bed, grabbed her clothes and headed for the shower. The smile on Logan's face slid away in an instant. She just couldn't work up the nerve to go back out there, even after an hour, until he knocked on the bathroom door and said "Your phone is going off. Looks like your sister got worried about where you disappeared to."_

_Georgie opened the door, blushing deeply at the sight of him in jeans and no shirt, and then rushed past him. "How do you know that? Were you reading my texts?"_

"_Coop sent me a few saying we needed to go looking for you because you've disappeared."_

"_Oh! I'll text them both back....you didn't tell him anything, did you?"_

"_Like what?"_

_As she sent the text she told him "I just don't want this getting around, okay?"_

_There was a long silence. Her eyes moved up from the phone to meet his. For a second she thought she glimpsed pain there but one more blink went by and his eyes were just cold, dead, numb- like usual._

_Not like the eyes that looked down at her when he was hovering above her, and they were moving as one. When she finally felt wanted and sexy again. _

_But it was wrong that they had sex tonight. They weren't in love. It was immoral and just a crazy thing to let happen. Make happen._

_Good sex was not enough to base a relationship on. Especially with a guy who followed around Lulu day and night. Georgie didn't feel like getting into a tug of war over Logan._

_Not when Logan and her had nothing between them but this one hook up. It was shameful really. That she did this. Liked it. Moaned and screamed and clawed at his back. That she kissed him so wantonly. Ran her tongue down his chest, over the hard, long, length of him....what had she been thinking?_

_She had to get away from him and get back to who she was. Someone sane. Logical. Smart. Not a woman who had sex with no love involved._

_Georgie went on "I'll get a cab to go home."_

"_I can give you a ride. Seriously. So I know you're safe."_

"_I'll be fine. I get around by myself all the time. Don't give it another thought and please....don't tell anyone about what just happened here. I....if you want to know the truth....I was upset because Spinelli and Maxie are into each other...and I wasn't thinking straight."_

"_Right. Cause why would you come home with me if you had your head screwed on right."_

"_You don't have a lot of room to be offended," she said, as she put on her shoes. "If you really think about it."_

_He grunted as his response._

_She said "I could have been anyone to you. Its not like this was about me...us....so go find another anyone tomorrow...or make up with Lulu."_

"_Don't matter to you, huh?"_

"_Do you see my other shoe?"_

_He bent, picked it up from under the end table, and gave it to her._

"_Thanks," Georgie said, slipping it on. All she knew was that she had to get away from him. She had been so bold and so wild in bed with him...it felt so strange to go there with Logan....they weren't even friends._

_Not like her and Cooper._

_She liked and respected Cooper. He was there for her the last few months. He saved her life. He forgave her for believing he could be the Text Message Killer. He called her before breakfast on her birthday and was the first person to give her birthday greetings that year. But it was Spinelli who threw her a surprise party. Spinelli who Georgie thought was seeing her as someone he could love._

_In all those months Logan was just who he always was: mean, destructive and angry._

_And now she had the best sex of her life with that man. Her life had turned into an even bigger mess than it was when she was just the woman who Spinelli looked past because he wanted her hotter, more fun, blonde sister._

_Georgie stood up and grabbed her purse. "See you around, okay?"_

_She headed for the door. Logan grabbed her hand and pulled her flush with his body. Their breathing changed. Both could barely take a breath in._

_He ground out "No good bye kiss?"_

"_Logan-"_

"_I won't kiss you unless you say I can. But I wanna. So tell me....can I kiss you one more time, Georgie?"_

"_I need to leave now."_

_He let go of her so quickly she nearly fell down. Georgie ran out of his apartment and they didn't talk again for two weeks. The next words he said to her were "I could use some service over here, waitress."_

Logan jumped into his truck, after walking away from Georgie outside of the diner, and drove out of the parking lot with tires squealing.

He didn't know what that woman expected from him. To be nice after how she used him and tossed him aside. How she made him care about her for one perfect, intense half hour and then when he was laying there, happy and hopeful for the first time in long time, she jumped out of the bed like it was on fire. Treated him like a scuzz ball again.

Like they hadn't shared anything amazing at all.

And now she cared who he worked for? Why? If he got killed by a stray bullet while being Anthony's nurse how would that affect Georgie's little, sane, good girl life?

It wouldn't.

He kept her secret about being in his bed. She had no right to ask him for more than that. Like for him to care if he lived or died. She didn't. Why should he?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She prayed he was just putting on a show for her benefit. It was a few days after she last saw him and now Logan had come into the diner with Claudia Zacchara. The woman was rude, bitchy and she had treated Robin like garbage for having HIV.

Georgie could not stand her.

Logan was flirting with her and laughing it up. Georgie wondered if they were sleeping together.

Not that it should matter to her.

But, of course, it did. She hated the idea of his hands last being on her body- sparking lust and hunger in her- and now being on Claudia's.

Georgie saw that woman in here before with Ric Lansing. Flirting with him, too. Not to mention she carried a gun and was a mobster.

What had Logan gotten himself into this time?

He walked up to the counter. "We'll take the check now."

She handed it to him, then whispered "You really need a new job."

"Stay out of it."

"I just don't see why you'd tell Cooper no to being a cop and then say yes to working for gangsters. Can you ever make a good decision- even to save your own life?"

"I don't need the lecture. Keep your mouth shut about my life."

He tossed some money on the counter, turned and met Claudia's eyes again. Georgie hated the way that woman was looking at Logan.

Like he was hers for the taking.

Oh, really? They'd see about that.


	155. e2

**Ease The Pain**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Two**

**May 2008**

The thought of Logan working for the mob and hooking up with Claudia was wrecking havoc on Georgie's mind.

If Georgie had doubts that her and Logan having sex was based on any real feelings, well she knew, for certain, that him sleeping with Claudia would not be about friendship, trust or anything close to love. It would be dirty and nasty and could even end up being deadly if he pissed Claudia off one day.

Every second after Logan walked out of Kelly's with Claudia, Georgie thought and thought about him. And finally decided that she would not let him throw his life away like this.

When she needed someone- the night she saw Spinelli and Maxie kissing- Logan was there for her. Now he needed someone and she had to be there for him.

He was obviously looking to self destruct his world again. Just like he did with the sex bet. He wanted to blow his life apart another time. She was not about to sit back, say nothing, do nothing, and watch him ruin himself like it was a fun sport. Watch him hurt himself for the thrill of it.

Cooper cared about Logan. Georgie cared too. And between the two of them there had to be a way to save Logan from himself.

On her break from work she went up to Cooper's room and knocked on his door.

"Yeah?"

"Its me."

He pulled it open, wearing a smile, "Hey. Come on in."

"Thanks." She walked inside as he closed the door. "I came up here because I wanted to ask you if you'd help me talk Logan into quitting his job for the Zaccharas."

Cooper raised an eyebrow. "Why? Did something happen?"

"Something will happen. It always does where that family is concerned."

"I've already told him what a bad idea I think it is. I don't know what else I could do."

"You have to do more, Coop. He could die!"

"Okay. Don't get upset. Why don't you have a seat?"

"I'm fine! Listen, I was thinking, that maybe if we find him a different job then he'll see he can make money legally. What do you think?"

"He doesn't like being told what to do."

"So you just want to do nothing? Because its easier?"

"Its sweet of you to care, Georgie, really. I appreciate you taking an interest in him when I know you're doing it just for me. But don't let his bad choices affect you. He'll learn his lesson one of these days."

"It might be too late by then."

"It shouldn't be anything you worry about. Logan is my friend. If anyone gets stressed out about him, it should be me, but I already know better than to try and talk reason into him when he's like this."

"Like what?"

"He's in a bad place again. Probably over Lulu. He hasn't been in the mood to hang out for a while now. I'm just giving him space. He'll come around when he's ready."

"I've been trying to do the same thing. I know Logan and I aren't friends but I do care about him....and I thought that in time he'd forget the things that went on before in our past and get over it all....but now I see that he might not even live long enough for that to happen. Because all he is doing is making one bad call after another. And it has to stop. Today!"

Georgie stormed out of Cooper's room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan answered his cell. He was standing in the hallway of the Zacchara mansion. "Hey, buddy."

"Georgie," Cooper said, briskly. "Talk."

"What? What about her?"

"You tell me. She just left my room pretty worked up over you. Why?"

"How should I know? I don't even deal with that chick anymore."

"Something must have happened. Georgie doesn't get upset for no reason."

"Maybe you don't know her like you think you do."

"Stop talking around whatever the hell went down and tell me why she's emotional over you."

"Emotional how?"

"Mad. Worried. Thinking you're nuts for the job you have. And she's right about that much."

"Nuts, huh? Tell her to mind her own fucking business, and while you are at it, you can do the same." Click.

Logan's jaw tensed. Georgie didn't want him in her life or in her bed but she wanted to dictate how he ran his.

Well, she could forget about it. He didn't give a damn what she thought of his choices. He made good money working for the Zaccharas and, right now, that is the only thing that mattered to him.

He had no reason to change a thing about his life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

At around ten forty- five that night, Logan got a text message from Georgie: _Buy you a drink at Jake's?_

He stared at his phone for a very long minute. What was she up to now?

He was in no mood to deal with her drama. For her to pull him close again just to push him away. Act like he didn't exist for weeks on end, then complain that she had no say in he how he ran his world.

Georgie brought out way too many emotions in Logan. He always wanted her to see good in him. And when they had sex he finally thought that she had. That she saw he was a hero who could protect her when her heart was broken, when she was scared, insecure, lonely.

He tried to do all that for her that night but she acted like all he did was use her for quick, cheap sex.

He could have not given her a ride, not flirted with her, not slept with her...kept his heart safe from her.....but as soon as he saw that she needed him, walking away from Georgie was no longer an option.

She figured he was just some horny guy who got sex where he could. But that was far from the truth. He was with Lulu before because he loved her and with Maxie because he actually thought crazy stuff about them being soulmates....and the sex bet just being some excuse to do what they couldn't do otherwise....and that it was worth risking Cooper's friendship if Logan could find his soul mate.

But Maxie never felt that. It was a bad joke played on himself by himself. He made so much out of nothing with her. It didn't take him long to run back to Lulu. At least she had sometimes acted like he was the man she wanted.

Georgie had done the same thing as her sister. Jumped out of his bed and ran away. He wasn't about to let her do that to him another time.

He sent back a text: _Forget about it._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"He hates me," Georgie whined to Brooklyn, on the phone.

"I can't believe he said no to getting together tonight. I thought you said he jumps on every chick who offers?"

"He does!"

"Obviously not."

"He's so mad at me. I thought that Jake's would be a good place to suggest because he likes it there and its open this late. I figured I'd get him somewhere he's comfortable before I tell him what I want to say. Now he probably won't even come into the diner for weeks again."

"Then go find him."

"What? Go sit on his doorstep?"

"If you have to. You want this guy. Then prove it to him."

"I want him to not waste his life on the wrong job and the wrong woman. He can't like working for the mob and being with Claudia more than he'd like the life he could have."

"With you."

"I didn't say that, exactly."

"Georgie, don't play games with him. If you go and see him, know what you want, or just stay away."

"I told you what I want. Him out of the mob and away from that viper of a woman in her black leather skin tight dresses."

"Hmm. All I'm saying is that you've got to give him the proper motivation to change his whole life....a good alternative."

"Are you saying to get naked and then sweet talk him into it? Because that is so not happening."

"It would so work, though!"

"Brooklyn!"

"Okay, okay," Brooke chuckled. "I still say you need to show up with more than a speech about the mob being dangerous. Look at it from his perspective. You say you have no feelings for him and never want to hook up again...but you care about his job and who's in his bed and every choice he makes from not eating enough vegetables to wearing sunscreen."

"He just doesn't take care of himself right, that's all."

"Either you want him or you don't. If you don't then let him crash and burn."

"I can't!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few days later, Logan walked into Kelly's with fire in his eyes. It was just two minutes before closing time so he knew he could catch Georgie alone.

He was sitting at the counter when she walked out of the kitchen. She stopped dead in her tracks.

He glared at her and hissed "I got a call today."

"I was hoping to talk to you about that beforehand but you didn't return any of my messages that I left on your voicemail. I didn't want to send it in a text. You don't return my e-mails and you don't answer me when I instant message you. You haven't been in here in days. You left me little choice in having any way to talk to you anymore."

"Wonder why? Maybe I want you to butt out of my life! And after this stunt, you're going to do it, girl, or else I'm gonna start butting into your life right back. Maybe that computer geek would like to hear about how you feel for him. What do you think?"

Georgie walked around the counter and sat down next to Logan. He tensed and stood up, telling her "Just keep out of my business!"

"Wait! Don't walk out of here like this. Will you at least listen to me?"

"I ain't got no interest in being a paramedic so all your scheming did no good."

"Why not? Its better to be a nurse for a mobster? You could save so many lives each year as a paramedic! And you'd be safe."

He chuckled bitterly. "You know what I think this is? You'd like to come back to my bed but you can't see getting with no loser like me. So you're trying to make me over. Well, save your energy for something that has a chance of happening. Cause you and me...no way in hell. Never again."

With that he walked out of the diner. Looking back through the window he spotted Georgie with her hand covering her mouth, breaking down into tears.

His palm rubbed his forehead as his heart twisted in pain over seeing that. He never could walk away from her when she was hurting.

When she was mad, he couldn't get away fast enough from her yelling at him. Especially after he realized she refused to listen to his side of anything- not that his side ever was a good justification for his mistakes but he wanted her to at least listen and try to understand. She never would though. And so for the last five weeks he hadn't listened to a word she said either. He completely cut her out of his life.

Because it hurt to see her and remember her sweet, tender, desperate kisses. Then know she couldn't wait to flee his arms and the warmth they created together the very second he pulled out of her.

Seeing her crying over him was just too much to take though. Logan couldn't stay cold and detached- safe from this woman who could hurt him so easily.

He hurried back into the diner. "Georgie," he said as he walked quickly across the floor and over to where she sat on a stool.

He touched her arm.

She whispered, her brown eyes teary, "You're going to die if you don't quit that job! Don't you care at all? I tried to talk to Cooper but he won't do anything to try and change your mind. Am I the only person around here who cares at all what happens to you? Should I go to Scott? Call Serena? I'll do whatever it takes to find the person who can get through to you. You are messing up your whole future, Logan."

Gently he told her "Don't worry about it. I can handle it."

She covered her face with her hands and cried.

"Georgie, please. Come on, darlin. Stop crying. Its okay. Nothing to be so worked up about. I ain't even barely in your life, right? So what do you care for anyway? You're wasting your tears on this."

She grabbed some napkins and wiped her face off, breathing erratically. "You don't care about yourself so why should I? Well, I do! I'm sick of the mob. Spinelli was kidnapped by Alcazar because of the mob. Diego became a monster because of the mob. Michael Corinthos is in a coma because of the mob! And this is the business you pick for yourself? When you could have....so much more."

"What can I have? A job you call respectable? Why should impressing you matter any to me? I got the job I like. Working for the Zacchara family is being somebody. It gets a man instant respect. I could work my way up. I could really belong somewhere."

"You already do!"

"Oh yeah? Where's that?" His eyes searched hers.

"With your family and friends. You can still make things right with Scott and your sisters. Cooper still cares about you even after all that happened last year. You mean a lot to him."

"And what do I mean to you? Anything? Why do you care so dang much about my job?"

Instead of answering him Georgie just grabbed the back of his head and drug him close for a kiss.


	156. e3

**Thanks for reading about Glo!**

**Ease The Pain**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Three**

**May 2008**

Her kiss always made him weak.

From the first time she kissed him, just outside the door to his apartment on the night they had sex, to all the kisses they shared as they stumbled across the room and onto the bed, to this kiss now, inside the diner at closing time, Logan always found his head spinning when her lips touched his.

He could think of nothing but her and getting more of her sweet kisses.

Tangling his fingers in her brown locks, he pulled her off the stool and against his body, deepening their kiss. Her mouth opened and his tongue swept inside. Georgie whimpered lustfully.

The sound took Logan right back to when he was inside of her...and shook him back to reality. She had him completely into her that night and she ran away. Making him feel like he was good enough for a screw but nothing else.

He jerked back from her and wiped at his mouth.

Her eyes were wide and filled with desire. Her breathing coming in rapid gasps.

He asked her "What is this? Spinelli hurt your feelings again today? Cause I know you got no use for me otherwise."

"I'm trying to tell you that I do care about you. I care if you die in a pointless mob war."

"Don't care. Cause we're nothing to each other." He headed for the door. "And you trying to control me with your kisses ain't gonna work. Go back to ignoring me. Its what you do best."

She called after him "Claudia will never care about you the way I do. I just hope you realize that, Logan."

He froze.

Slowly he turned around and walked back over to her. "Claudia, huh? What's this? Are you actually jealous over me, girl?"

Her eyes dropped to the floor. He put a finger beneath her chin and raised her head up so that she had to look into his eyes. Logan ground out "I want an answer out of you."

"I don't want you touching her. There's your answer."

A long moment passed and then he smiled. "You are jealous. Well, look at this. What's the deal? You didn't want me when you could have had me as all yours...only yours....and now that you see me with another chick...what? I look good to you all of the sudden?" He chuckled, happily.

"Its not funny," she whispered. "Its not a game. This is your life."

He sat on the stool next to her and stared at her for a long minute. His mind reprocessed everything she had said and did for days now. She wasn't just trying to run his life, or stop him from being a messed up loser criminal she couldn't screw every now and then because he was beneath her standards. She actually was afraid he was moving on to somebody else and she wanted him to leave the Zacchara family- and especially Claudia- behind for good.

So he could be with her.

A slow grin worked over his lips.

Georgie said "She's wrong for you. You know that, right?"

"I don't wanna talk about Claudia or any other chick right now but you. If you don't want me to touch Claudia you're gonna have to give me a damn good reason." Logan put his hand on the back of Georgie's stool and leaned close to her, until his mouth was nearly touching hers. His voice dropped low and he whispered "Tell me you want me touching you again....tell me you're aching for me, girl. That you messed up when you walked out on me. Tell me you want us....you got to say it, want it, feel it, Georgie. Tell me that you know we should be together."

His heart beat fast as he waited for her answer.

She whispered "I know that if you die it will break my heart."

His lips connected with hers in a short, sensual kiss. "What else do you know?"

"That you would make a great paramedic."

He chuckled. "Once you get your mind on something you just don't let it go, do ya?"

She gave him a quick kiss. "No. Never. I'm not giving up on you."

"What changed your mind?"

"I never liked you working for the mob. I don't like anyone doing that for a living."

"Yeah but you haven't gone this far for Spinelli."

"Leave him out of this, please."

"I'm just saying-"

"I know I hurt you before. But you act like we were a couple. We were barely friends. I thought once would be the end of it.....it was just so confusing for me....I felt too much. I still do. I don't know what this is, Logan. It doesn't make sense. We're doing everything backwards."

"You ran out of my place before I could even ask you on a date."

"You wanted to?"

"At first. Before you jumped out of bed and took off like the devil was on your heels. You couldn't get in that shower fast enough."

Georgie glanced toward the stairs.

Logan asked "What? Afraid people will hear about us being together? You can't have it both ways. Either you want to be with me and everyone knows. Or you don't."

Grabbing the bottom of his t-shirt and tugging him closer to her, Georgie ran her other hand lightly over his abs, underneath his shirt, making him bite back a moan. She whispered "I'm sorry that I don't like making out in public places and talking about stuff like this where other people might hear us....can we go somewhere we can be alone?"

Looking into her brown eyes he knew the answer could only be one thing. "Yeah."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

They ended up parked at the overlook in his truck. Neither said anything, except talking about the songs on the radio, on the drive over. Now they sat there in silence, staring at the stars above them and the view of the city that lay below them.

Georgie didn't mean to have things go so far with Logan tonight. To be at a place where maybe they would start dating.

It was just like a snowball rolling down a hill, the way her emotions kept building and building over the last five weeks. The longing, the memories of being with him, the worrying about him, the fear he would be hurt at his job, the jealousy over him looking at Claudia like he wanted to get her naked. It all added up and finally she had to admit that she hated the idea of him being with anyone but her.

They were great together in bed. And she knew him so much better than Claudia. She knew his friends, his family, his fears, his past, his mistakes, his heartbreaks. She knew him in a way Claudia couldn't possibly know Logan yet.

The thought of him opening up like that to Claudia- letting her know him that way- made Georgie sick.

She wanted to be the one who made his life better, made him smile- like he made her smile that night when he said she looked damn fine in his eyes- and she wanted to be the one he took home with him. She wanted a chance to get to know him even better and find out what they could be.

Looking out the windshield, Logan asked "You never told no one about that night, did you?"

"Just my best friend. Why? Did you tell anyone?"

"Nah. You made it clear we had to keep it on the D. L."

"I just didn't want all our friends asking me what was going on when I didn't know what the answer was."

"You sure you ain't ashamed you got with me?"

"I'm not. That was the best-"

His eyes jerked over to meet hers.

She blushed and looked away. "I'm not. It just happened for the wrong reasons but what happened felt right. That made it confusing. I never expected to have a one night stand before."

In a low, throaty tone he told her, "Come here, girl."

She scooted closer to him. He brushed back her hair and then asked "Do you know why it felt so good? Because we're good together. That don't happen for every couple. We got something really special between us. That's why it threw me when you didn't even stay in my bed for a minute afterwards....didn't you want to stay with me?"

"I just needed to breathe and think."

"You think about how you made a mistake when you were washing me off of you?"

"It wasn't a mistake. It was just shocking to me that it happened. But I needed you that night. I felt like no one wanted me for so long, since I got divorced. And then the first man who does want me...I go home with on a whim. How was I supposed to believe we'd be anything after how we did it all wrong? And how we never took time before to get close? You never wanted me before and so I didn't think I should want you after...not just because we were hot together between the sheets."

He grinned. "Don't knock that. Its a big deal."

She smiled slightly. "I want more than that. It took me a while to see that I actually do have more than that already with you....because I care about every part of your life, Logan. Everything you do and feel. I care and I did before, too. We're connected. We have friends in common and your sisters mean a lot to me....we share so much more between us than you could with Claudia."

"You've got it all over her, Georgie. She's not even in your league. She just wishes she was."

"She wants to be with you. I can tell."

"That chick is a man eater."

"She looks at you like you're her next meal."

"Don't worry about her none."

"So....were you ever with her?"

"Nah."

She let out a relieved breath. "You're free, of course, to do what you want and date who you want but....don't date her. Not if you want to see what we can be."

"And if I don't quit my job? Is this conversation over?"

"Aren't you at all interested in the paramedics training program? Frank really liked your resume. I think you'd get into the next class and you could really start a career."

Frank Scanlon was the supervisor for the Port Charles Paramedic Squad.

"It wasn't up to you to snoop through my life and put together a resume for me and talk to people about me taking a job I never said I wanted. You crossed the line, Georgie."

"I'm sorry. I just want you to be safe."

"Its okay. I'll think about this paramedic thing. But I'll do what I want to do, when the time comes, and if that answer ain't good enough for you then sorry but its the only one you're getting out of me."

"Just think really hard before you blow off a chance to do a legitimate job that pays well and helps people. You could build a good life for yourself. I'd like to see that happen."

"And when you're seeing that happen....where are you gonna be watching it from? Behind the counter of the diner being my waitress? Or in my bed being my girl?"


	157. e4

**Ease The Pain**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Four**

**May 2008**

Georgie's skin was burning up. Logan was a mere inch in front of her as they sat in his truck. And he had just asked her if she wanted to be in his bed and be his girl.

For weeks now, ever since they slept together, she would have sworn she didn't want that. But the truth was that each day she longed for him more and more-and felt like she was losing him by inches to the mob. He was slipping away from her and she felt it in her bones.

But now he was right here. Wanting her. Saying how good they were together. That he wanted to take her out on dates.

It made her heat up with desire for him. Here was a hot, sexy man who thought she was good in bed, who would put up with her mood swings, who had been hurt by her but was willing to forgive that hurt if she would just come back to him. Give them a chance.

She had tried to resist him. Tried to tell herself they had nothing in common but chemistry. Tried to push him away. But as soon as he seemed to lose interest in her- and maybe get interested in Claudia- she had freaked out.

He made her always feel so much. From the first day they met. Concerned- he was so far from home. Worried- what did he mean he wanted to work for Sonny? Sad- couldn't he tell he'd never be number one in Lulu's heart? He just didn't know what Georgie knew: Dillon had that place and he always would. Mad- how dare he make a sex bet with Maxie. Pissed- he put his hands on Spinelli! Frustrated- why the hell would he hurt Cooper the way he did? Sad again- Scott was so mean to him. Seeing him hurt over his father made her own heart ache.

Every encounter between Logan and Georgie was a 10 on the Richter scale- good or bad.

And then they had sex.

It was amazing. She tried to tell herself awesome sex didn't mean anything. Still she was left completely confused. It didn't make any sense. Why would she feel so much for him? She had loved and married Dillon. Making love to him was emotional, sweet, tender, gentle, and right. But having sex with Logan was mind blowing and soul shaking. It was more than physical. Something deeper was revealed. Something she was still trying to fully understand.

Finally, after five long weeks, she was willing to tell him she wanted to start to learn what they could be together. If he was ready for all that meant.

"If I'm your girlfriend, Logan, or even just the woman you date occasionally.....it has to be just me in your life. Can you promise that? I can't deal with you running around with Lulu, worry about you getting with Claudia, or worse....somehow hooking back up with my sister."

"And I can't feel like you don't trust me. Like you're expecting me to screw around on you."

"Trust takes time to grow." She intertwined her fingers with his. She loved the feel of his hand brushing against hers that way. "And trust takes honesty. So what do you say....do you want to go for that with me?"

Their eyes locked on each other. The moment grew thick with emotion. Gently, he kissed her. And she finally felt completely safe with him. In his bed, she felt out of control and desperate. She lost her mind that night for one half an hour of sensual bliss.

Tonight was different. She was completely sure what she was doing was right.

She wanted him in her life. She had to find out what they could have together. This was worth the risk of a broken heart. He was worth the risk. Maybe he wasn't as destructive as she used to think.

He was good to her the one night she truly needed someone to love her. And he was hurt for weeks when she ignored him. So hurt that he almost didn't give her a second chance when she finally showed some interest in him. But after he walked away it only took a minute for him to come back and try again. He seemed to be invested in her. Maybe together they could both be happier than they had been in their sad, little, just bumping against each other, lives that they had before.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan slowly broke his sweet, soft kiss to Georgie. He stared into her eyes and was blown away by this moment. It was one he had stopped hoping would ever come his way.

He had given up on them becoming anything.

She totally crushed him when she slid out of his bed, jumped into the shower, and hid in the bathroom like she was disgusted by what she had just done. By him.

But now she was saying it was the best sex of her life. Blushing and telling him that she wasn't ashamed by it at all. Just confused.

And that she really wanted to be the only woman in his life.

He thought it was kinda funny that she believed he wanted Claudia- who was hot but really a bitch deep down with hardly no softness or feminine side to her mob diva personality. Sure he flirted with her but that was because he felt he barely had anything to live for anymore. Might as well go for broke by getting in good with the Zaccharas. Johnny and him would never be tight so that left Claudia and the old man, Anthony, to suck up to. Logan had wanted to become a solider for them after his nursing duties were no longer needed.

Now he wasn't so sure.

Georgie was right. He could make a good life for himself still. Get a legit job. Move out of his crap apartment into a decent, even if it would have to be small, house. Make a real life instead of a fucked up mess.

He could do all that if she was by his side, holding his hand, helping him be strong.

As he stared at her in the moonlight, she gave him a smile filled with light and happiness. It stole his breath away. Stroking his hand over her cheek, he told her "You're so damn pretty."

Still smiling, she reminded him "You didn't answer my question."

He shook his head in amusement at her. She really wanted his promise to not be with any other woman. What a switch. Just yesterday he couldn't get her to be happy about serving him coffee. "Lets put it this way, Georgie, as long as you want to date me I can't see myself wanting to date anyone else. So I guess its all up to you who I'm with."

"All up to me," she whispered, and then gave him a quick, gentle kiss "you don't know how," she kissed him again "happy that makes," another tender kiss "me to hear."

Just then Logan's phone started going off. He was fine with ignoring it but Georgie pulled away, letting go of his hand, and said "Go ahead and see if its important. You never know when it could be a family emergency."

Logan pulled out his phone. "Just a text from Coop wanting to know what I'm up to because he's getting off work."

She nodded. "If you want to...tell him."

"You sure?"

"If you're sure, Logan."

"Okay. Lets see what he's got to say to this."

Logan sent back a text saying that he was with Georgie and they were dating now. He looked at her and added "There goes being on the down low."

"I never liked that anyway. It makes a relationship seems sleazy when I don't feel that way at all about us. I just wanted space for a while...I didn't know these feelings would grow and not go away in time."

"Feelings, huh?" He grinned.

A text came back. Looking at it he chuckled and told Georgie "Coop says that I better not screw this up. And he calls you a ten."

"A ten?" she asked happily.

"Don't get too excited now."

Georgie chuckled. "I don't think you've got a thing to worry about. Seriously. Neither Cooper or I have ever even thought of going there."

"Just thinking about that ever going down....they don't call payback a bitch for nothing, Georgie."

"Don't think about it because its never going to happen. But tell him thank you for the ten comment. That was sweet of him to say."

Logan sent another text to Cooper and then looked at Georgie "What do you think about going to Jake's? Maybe having those drinks we never got before."

"Sure. Is Coop going to meet us there?"

"No way in hell. Tonight....you're all mine."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

They ended up dancing for the first time together that night. Her body pressed close to his. Him looking down at her with eyes filled with awe, devotion and a slow building joy.

(I sure do hope this is a long night. Cause nothing ever felt so right.

Each look in your eyes, I fall in a little more and more.

Looks like we started a fire. Wrapped up in the flames of desire.

With every touch burning higher.

Two shadows dancing on the wall with nothing on but the radio.)

Seeing Logan so overcome with happiness- after watching him for a year being miserable- filled Georgie's heart up. She couldn't believe he'd feel this way over her. But it was plain to see he did.

It made her have even more faith in what they were doing by starting to date. He brought out a emotional, act first and think later, side of her that made her feel completely engaged in life. And when she followed her instincts with him, instead of hiding from him, everything felt so good and right.

(Feel the music playing soft and slow.

You and me and the lights down low

with nothing on but the radio.)

They were more than hot sex. They had the same friends. They knew each other's histories and dreams. He knew she wanted to go to Europe to study, how important school was to her, how much she valued her family, and how she was hurt over Dillon and Diego. She knew about Scott's rejection of him, how much he loved Cooper as a best friend and brother, how he missed Texas but didn't feel like he could go back there, how the war made him angry and his temper got the best of him way too many times to count, how he always got crazy over love...and sad when love went wrong. They did know each other and they could get to know each other better as time went on.

She couldn't find the deep connection she now had with Logan with a stranger. It had been silly to think that how good they were in bed together meant nothing. It was a coming together of two people who ached for love and understanding. Two people who overlooked each other before but finally, because fate threw them together, had decided to look twice and see what was beneath each other's surfaces. It wouldn't be that good with just anyone.

(We'll fall asleep here in the moonlight.

In tangled sheets, we'll be here all night.

And when we wake in the morning light we might stay like this all day.

Two people meant to be together. Two lovers dreaming of forever.

And it just keeps on getting better with every tender little kiss.

And nothing on but the radio.) (Gary Allen)

Logan spun Georgie around. She giggled. He pulled her close to his body again. "Go on a date with me this Friday."

"I'd like that."

"Take the weekend off and spend it all with me."

Her eyes lit up as she stared at him. "That would be really irresponsible and reckless and moving too fast but....how about this? One month from now if things are still going all right....we go away for a weekend, if you want."

His mouth dipped to capture her lips in a short, soulful kiss. "I want."


	158. e5

**Ease The Pain**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Five**

**May 2008**

There were a few days in between when Georgie and Logan decided to start dating and their first real date. Every time he came into the diner, the tension built between them. Long looks and stolen moments were shared. He followed her into the kitchen one time, pushed her against the fridge and started making out with her.

Giggling and smiling she pushed him away and told him he needed to behave at her place of employment before he got her fired.

Finally Friday rolled around. She thought there was nothing cuter than him showing up at her door, looking slightly nervous, to pick her up.

Then holding her hand as they walked out to his truck, opening the door for her, and giving her this tender grin after she climbed inside.

Her heart melted. If she wasn't his before that moment, then she knew she was after. There was just something remarkable about Logan when he was away from other people and didn't have to act like a tough guy to impressive anyone. Plus it seemed like every little bit of attention and love she gave him he soaked up and became happier and more secure with every passing minute. She loved watching him settle into his own skin in this way.

Georgie wondered as they ate dinner together, talking about her career aspirations in journalism and his plans to buy some season football tickets, if she was changing just as much as Logan these days. Could he see the happiness she felt on her face?

She seemed to always be smiling now. Always hopeful. Always excited.

He was having a great affect on her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan could hardly believe this was really his life. The last few days hadn't seemed real at all and right at that moment, sitting with Georgie at the restaurant, it still felt too perfect to be more than a dream he would soon wake up from. He found it amazing how good things were going for them.

How she seemed so happy now.

Ever since he met her she had carried this slight, but noticeable, pall of somberness and sadness- except when she was around Spinelli. That only made Logan jealous of the hacker more. Because Lulu lit up for him, and these days Maxie did too. Georgie was the one who always admired him most though.

Away from Spinelli she was serious, moody, faking her smiles, and always had a look in her eye like she was waiting for her real life to start. Biding her time till Europe, he guessed.

Today though she was glowing- and it was all for him.

After the waitress cleared away their dinners and went to get their dessert, Logan reached out and took Georgie's hand. "You know what? You're starting to take the title for my best everything....best kiss, best date, best dancing partner....its gonna be real hard to top these great memories you're giving me, girl, so maybe I better not try."

She smiled sweetly. "I'm not even going to ask if you've said the same thing to every woman you've ever taken out."

"Nah. Don't even be thinking that way."

"I'm not because the past doesn't matter. And, anyway, I do believe that you are being sincere with me right now."

"You do, huh?"

"Yes, because this week....us getting together...its made me happier than I've been in a long time and I want to believe you feel the same."

Their eyes held for a long moment.

"You sure you wanna go to that movie later?" he flirted with her. "Cause there's got to be something decent on my tv at home that we could watch...or not watch, whatever."

She chuckled. "I want to go to the movie."

"All right then. But just remember that if halfway through you get bored....the offer stands," he joked.

Georgie blushed. "Can you at least try and act like you're interested in a proper date?"

"I'm interested. Its just sitting here with you....you're so pretty...and its hard to not think about how pretty I find you when you're in my apartment and we're alone and-"

Smiling, she warned him "Stop."

His eyes danced with amusement at how red she was and how she really enjoyed his shameless flirting, when in the past she would have called him a sex addicted pervert in need of therapy because he was unable to control himself. She really was seeing him different now. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, believing he had good intentions and taking him at his word.

Treating him like a man-finally- instead of a messed up little boy she needed to school in how to behave.

Logan loved this change in her. When a woman as amazing as Georgie fell for a man, it made him feel amazing too, and that is just what was happening for Logan.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

They walked out of the movie later, hand in hand, and made their way to his truck.

Georgie asked "So, did you like it?"

"Its Indiana Jones, what ain't there to love?"

"True. I've always been into adventure stories myself. It always seemed to me that if I wanted something big to happen in my life I'd have to leave Port Charles and go somewhere exciting....but maybe I was wrong."

He pinned her against the truck. Whispering softly, as his lips nearly were touching hers, "You think so?"

When Logan kissed Georgie his protective instincts flared to life in his chest as she melted into him, as if she felt completely safe. He wanted that feeling to grow and grow for her. He never wanted to break this trust she had in him now.

Pulling back he said "I want to take you out again."

"So call me and ask me out again."

Grinning he asked "You're gonna be that way, huh?"

"If its too much trouble for you..."

He kissed her cheek. "Expect a call, girl."

Logan opened the door of his truck, Georgie got inside. She reached over and opened his door. He smiled as he got in "Ain't you sweet?"

He gave her another short, sensual kiss. Then he said "Keep being good to me and I just might get hooked on you. You better watch yourself."

With a smile, she said "I'll take my chances."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Even though he wanted nothing more than to take Georgie to his bed that night, Logan instead drove her home after the movie. She was the sort of woman who didn't feel good about sex- even hot, perfect sex- unless she was confidant that feelings were involved. He hoped she was getting more and more sure about them but one date wasn't enough to guarantee she wouldn't jump out of his bed and run away for the second time.

He didn't want to set himself or her up for more pain.

So they would have more dates and when the time was right they'd make love. And then, hopefully, keep making love as often as they could. Because now that he knew what it was like to be with her, he was aching for more and he believed that would only multiply as time went on.

He didn't think he'd quickly burn out on her. It felt too good to just hold her hand. Too good to give up even that small pleasure now that he knew it.

Logan was already imagining days turning to months and months to years with her by his side.

He walked her to the door. "Tonight was great. I look forward to doing it again."

"So do I. But, just so you know, should we keep dating you'll be expected to come to Sunday dinner and have a chat with my Dad....and he's not always that nice when it comes to people that me, Maxie and Robin have dated in the past. He can be kinda tough but he means well."

"I ain't worried about it. Just as long as you don't let whatever he thinks about me change what you think about me."

She looped her arms around his neck. "What I think about you....." she leaned closer to him "is that you need a lot more of this" she gave him a very tender kiss "in your life."

"Look how well you know me already. I was just thinking the same thing."

After a few more kisses, Georgie slipped into the house. She leaned against the door and let out a very happy sigh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night Maxie came bounding into Georgie's room all excited about kissing Spinelli for the second time. It seemed that they had some kind of miscommunication that had stalled their relationship for the last six weeks- since that night Georgie saw them kissing- and now they had talked honestly about what they wanted and kissed again.

"He's just so different and smart and he sees me! He doesn't see just the clothes I'm wearing or what I've done with my hair and he's not talking to my chest like some guys do....he's interested in my brain and my feelings and my soul."

"I'm really happy for you. That's great."

If Maxie told her this a couple months back, Georgie might have burst into tears on the spot but now she was over her crush on Spinelli.

"I just can't believe he would like me! Can you believe it? Its unbelievable, seriously. A guy like him...he knows so much that I'll never know or understand."

"You have different interests but that just means you can teach each other about things that the other never would have thought of being into before."

"You're right. I just can't believe this is happening. And I'm moving out soon. And Crimson is launching its first issue this month. Its like my whole life is falling into place."

"I feel the same way."

"You do? Because you got accepted into that studying abroad program? I think that's fantastic, really. Though I'll miss you. You'll have to get online with one of those web cam thingees...Spinelli knows how to set it up...so we can talk."

"I'll try to. I'm really excited about going to Europe next fall but that's not the only reason that I'm so happy lately. I've started dating someone new."

"Really? That's awesome! When did this happen? Is it some guy from school?"

"You've been working constantly lately and I haven't had the chance to tell you....I'm seeing Logan now."

"Huh?"

"And its going great."

"What?"

"Maxie, please don't give me a hard time about this. Before I started to have feelings for Logan...well...I never told you but...I was hoping Spinelli would ask me out."

Maxie's face fell. "Oh....I'm so sorry! I didn't know."

"Its okay. But, I admit, at first it really hurt that Spinelli liked you more than me......until I realized that I can be happy with Logan. What I never could make Spinelli feel for me...Logan already does."

"I don't get why you're keeping all these secrets from me. Don't you trust me anymore? Are you mad at me because I want to be with Spinelli?"

"I'm not mad at you at all. You never knew how I felt. And I didn't tell you about liking Spinelli because it was embarrassing how he asked out everyone but me...he took Nadine to the Ball, then he started hanging out with Leyla...still I hoped he might see me as more than a friend if I waited long enough. Now I know he never will and that's okay. You don't have to keep this a secret because I think its time I finally let Spinelli in on my crush. I wouldn't want him to hear about it from anyone but me."

"And you're sure you don't like him anymore? Don't rebound onto Logan just because you're hurting."

"Everything with Logan has been growing for months now. On that night that we were all at The Catacombs...when I left and didn't tell anyone...Logan is the one who gave me a ride. But even before that night....these last few months when I was becoming better friends with Cooper....Logan was always around and I just saw him different than before. I didn't fall for him or anything back then. I just saw he had good sides to him along with the bad ones. And now....he's really showing me how sweet and wonderful he can be, Maxie."

"Sweet and wonderful? Don't sound like any Logan I know."

"Just be my sister and be on my side, please."

Maxie gave her a hug. "I'll always be on your side."


	159. e6

**Ease The Pain**

**Georgie and Logan**

**Part Six**

**May 2008**

Nearly two weeks went by before Logan heard the words he was dying to hear from Georgie.

In the meantime they had more dates and he found out she really was funny and fun to be around when she was in a good mood. Whether they were bowling, racing go-karts, playing miniature golf, at the beach, at an amusement part or hanging around with friends she always made his day better for her being there.

The way she looked at him made his chest swell. He knew she now saw him as a good man and as her man. It was an amazing change in his life. He looked in the mirror and believed in himself again.

Logan was really thinking about taking that paramedic job she was so hot on him accepting. But he didn't think quitting the Zaccharas was the best idea for his health. Anthony was getting stronger everyday though. Logan figured he'd just wait it out till the old guy no longer needed his services.

One evening Logan and Georgie were talking a walk, holding hands and talking, when she hugged him. And then she whispered into his ear "Take me home with you."

Sparks shot down his spine. Goosebumps covered his skin. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. He saw how sure she was and that made him relieved. He had told himself he wouldn't push her. Though he joked often with her by asking when she was going to spend about a week straight in his bed. It took longer than he would have liked but not as long as he would have waited for her to be ready to share her body with him again.

Georgie gave him a short, sweet kiss. Then her forehead rested against his. She asked "What do you say?'

"I say lets get out of here, girl."

He took her hand and they headed down the block and back to his truck. A nervous energy enveloped them. He opened the door for her and she got in. Like she did every time, Georgie reached over and opened his door. He climbed behind the wheel. Their eyes met and held.

A grin curved his lips. One second later she was kissing him with a desperate fervor. Her need for him sucked his breath right out of his lungs. This is how he wanted her to be for the whole night they first slept together- not just for a half an hour. He wanted her to keep losing herself in him over and over. Finding herself in him. Changing herself because of him, changing him at the same time.

Finally they were back in the place he craved. Finally she was kissing him again like his kiss was her oxygen. Making him feel essential to her. Making him feel like when they made love he would be saving her from a life of loneliness. That she trusted him, needed him, and believed in him. He was her hero again.

Logan broke their kiss. "We better stop this before I forget we're in a public place. Lets head on back to my apartment and do this right."

"Hurry."

He started the truck and took off.

Georgie cried "Don't speed!"

"You said hurry."

"I know but-"

He shot her a quick, heated look.

They both started chuckling. When they got to his place they rushed into his apartment, he closed the door and she wrapped her arms around his neck. They fell on the couch and started kissing.

She straddled him, peeled off her shirt, and then yanked off his belt. His eyes feasted on her lace covered breasts. "Oh God, Georgie, I've been wanting you so bad."

"Thank you for waiting for me."

She bent down to kiss him. It had been eight weeks now since they made love. She never wanted to let so long go by between their love making sessions again. But she knew they'd have no choice. She was going to Europe for four months in the fall. Until then though she wanted to make love with Logan often. Especially if today was as good as the first time.

As they kissed, her unhooked her bra. She broke their kiss and pulled off her bra. Breathing shallowly she placed his hands on her breasts, then moaned when he started to massage them.

Sensations rocketed through her whole body. Wrapping one arm around her back, Logan sat up. He kissed her neck and nibbled on her ear, as one hand kept massaging her breast. Then he gently pulled her ponytail out and buried his face in her the crook of her neck.

His lips moved against her skin when he murmured "I love you, Georgie."

She gasped because that was the first time he ever told her he had fallen into love with her. He was shivering against her- shaking with emotion over her. She was lost in the feeling of his warm, large hand on her breast. His words repeated in her head: _I love you, Georgie. I love you, Georgie. I love you, Georgie. I love you, Georgie. I love you, Georgie._

He trailed kisses down to her breast and then started to suckle her. For a few minutes she was moaning in ecstasy until he finally took his mouth off her.

Looking into her eyes he asked "You ready to move to the bed now? If you're not then it's all right. I swear, it's fine, whatever you want."

"You're all I can think about anymore. I want you so much, Logan."

Georgie stood up, a little self conscious over having no shirt on, and took his hand. He stood up too. They made their way to the bed. Piece by piece they undressed each other and then climbed into bed. He pulled a condom out of the drawer, opened it and sheathed himself. Logan spent a moment just staring at Georgie's body.

His eyes on her made her blush from head-to-toe.

"You're so gorgeous," he breathed out. "I can't believe you're my girl."

"I love you, Logan. Please believe in our love."

His eyes softened with overwhelming emotion. He started to kiss her again. Long minutes later, when she completely relaxed, he slid inside of her. They found their rhythm and soon it was just as mind blowing and good as the first time. She was panting, moaning and wanting it to never end after just a minute or two of him thrusting into her. By the time he came she was sweat slicked and exhausted. Logan lay next to Georgie, she cuddled against him. He pulled a sheet over them.

His hand went to her back. He caressed circles over it. She sighed happily.

Breathlessly, he asked her "Just as good?"

"Perfect. I'm so addicted to you that its not even funny."

Logan grinned.

For five minutes they just lay there, breathing hard and basking in the afterglow until they were completely tranquil again. Then he rolled onto his side and started kissing Georgie. It wasn't long till he had another condom on. They made love staring into each other's eyes this time. Georgie kept giving him short, sensual kisses and telling him all he meant to her:

You're the reason I smile.

You make me so happy.

I feel so loved with you.

I can't get enough of you.

I'll never give you up, Logan.

I'll always love you.

Never doubt my love for you.

You're so perfect in my eyes.

I love your body and I love how you love me.

That time when Logan shuddered to a climax he was holding her close to him, and they both were caught in the most intensely intimate moment they had ever shared. Afterwards he didn't move away from her, just stayed as he was, holding her close, their hearts beating against each other's chests. He kissed her neck and her jaw. Then he whispered "I never wanna lose you."

"I'm right here. I love you and I won't stop for anything."

He rolled onto his back and held her against his side. His hand caressed her hair. "Spend the night with me. I wanna wake up to your pretty smile."

"Okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Late August 2008**

Logan did his best not to cry when he took Georgie to the airport to leave for her semester abroad. The night before there had been a big party for her. She asked her friends and family to say good bye then so she could have these moments with just Logan.

He told her "Be careful, girl, you hear me?"

"I will be."

"And call me as much as you can."

"Every day."

"Send me pictures."

"All right."

"Don't go off by yourself. Always stick with the group."

"Logan, I'll be fine. I'll be home before you know it."

"Sure. I know, girl." He gave her a soft kiss. "You better get going through security now. Don't wanna miss your flight and mess up all those connections you gotta make."

Georgie cupped his cheeks with her hands. "I'll miss you every second."

"Just keep thinking that by Christmas we'll be back together."

"I trust you."

"I know that. I won't let you down."

"And I won't let you down, Logan." She kissed him and then whispered "I love you."

"I love you, too, sweet girl."

She nodded as tears flooded her eyes. "See you in four months."

"Four months."

Georgie pulled some Kleenex out of her pocket and wiped her eyes. "Bye."

Logan kissed her one more time and then walked away without saying anything else. Because if he did he would only end up crying in public over his girl going away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**December 2009**

By the time she came back from Europe he was a paramedic who lived in a rented house, was close to Scott, his grandparents and his sisters.

He always credited Georgie with making him grow into a man.

On the first night she was home, while they were in his living room, he got down on one knee.

Georgie's hands clamped over her mouth.

"I missed you like nobody's business, girl. You're the best woman I ever met. I still think its completely wild that you fell for me.....you make me believe in myself and us and our future. I want you to be the mother of my kids. I want a big house full of babies with you. What do you say? Could you like that life, Georgie? Will you marry me?"

"Yes!"

With his hand over his heart, in dramatic fashion, he lay back on the floor. "Whew!"

She giggled and lay on top of him, kissing him passionately, as a huge grin curved her lips. "I can't believe this!"

"We're getting hitched."

"Oh my God!"

"Wait a second, girl." They both sat up. He dug in his jeans pocket and pulled out a ring. He slid it on her shaking hand. "Now its official."

She stared at the ring, as tears poured out of her eyes. He kissed them away and wiped her face dry. They kissed for a minute more before Georgie looked at the ring again.

"Its so beautiful. Is it an antique?"

"That comes from Gail, my grandmother."

"I really love it."

"You're gonna be a Hayes though. Not a Baldwin."

"Okay."

"Me and you, we'll keep my mama's name going. And give it to all our kids."

"I'd be proud to be Mrs. Hayes. I wanted this so much. I was hoping this would be my Christmas present from you."

"You were, girl?"

"I dreamed about this, Logan, and now you made it real."

They started kissing, making love right there on the floor of the house where they would start their lives as husband and wife. And where they would conceive their first baby.

The child that would ease the last of the pain that Logan felt over his own fatherless childhood. Together Georgie and Logan would heal each other and raise a family. No matter what pain they were ever in they knew that when they were in their bed together it would disappear as their bodies moved as one.

Making love could take away any heart ache either felt. That was the true miracle of what they shared. That was why- like Logan always told his wife- they were so good together.

THE END


	160. Look What Love Has Done, Glo and GC

**Author note- This is kinda a love triangle with Cooper/Georgie/Logan but not completely because the love on one side of it is unrequited.**

**This idea comes from Hrhcole. **

**Georgie signed up to write to soldiers during the war and she was assigned Cooper. The reason she got him was because Logan and Cooper enlisted in New York State and were assigned to a base there. They did that because they were both heading to Port Charles, on separate journeys, and instead met each other at a bar, got drunk, and joined the army. The program assigned people by their home state.**

**Cooper came to Port Charles after the war to meet Georgie, but he got sidetracked and became 3. He got with Maxie before he knew she was Georgie's sister. All of canon history is just about the same until this day in October of 2007 when Cooper is hurt while working as a cop. He was shot in his bullet proof vest and his head hit a brick wall when he was thrown backwards.**

**He's unconscious and then things get crazy.....**

**Look What Love Has Done**

**Part One**

"Do we do the surgery or not?" Patrick asked, as a small crowd stood in the ER of General Hospital.

"Not a fucking chance in hell," Logan ground out. "Give him the medication first and see if that works."

"Its not your call!" Maxie screamed at him, tearfully.

"Look," Logan said, his eyes blazing with fear and frustration "you don't know jack about medicine so SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

"That's enough!" Georgie told him. "This decision is mine and I need a minute to think about it."

Robin said "You can have five minutes. We'll prep the OR because if you decide to go with a surgery to relieve the fluid around his brain then we need to move on it right away. If not we'll try the pharmaceutical route and monitor his vitals for a few hours. But it's risky-"

Logan told her "And brain surgery ain't?"

Georgie's hands were shaking as she walked back into the cubicle and looked down at Cooper. What would he want her to do? He trusted her with his life. He trusted her to make the right choice. He hadn't given this responsibility to his ex-girlfriend and the woman he loved from the day he first met her, Maxie. And he hadn't given it to his best friend and the man he called a brother, Logan.

He gave it to Georgie instead.

He made her his medical power of attorney. All because of the close bond they formed when they were pen pals during his time in army. She never expected to fall in love with the guy that she was writing to. She was just a high school senior then. Married to Dillon. Falling for Diego. Cooper was a picture and words on a page. Till Dillon cheated on her and Diego lied. After she wrote Cooper to tell him about what happened he had called her. For the first time ever they got a chance to speak to each other.

When she heard his voice, everything changed inside of her. She felt safe again. He was her hero. Tears choked her voice as they talked that day. She felt like she knew everything about him because he told her so much about his childhood and his fears and the war. All about Logan.

She use to believe Logan was a good man. Because Cooper believed that and his letters spoke of how Logan would cause trouble but he'd also save lives, miss Texas, make jokes and watch Cooper's back. Georgie admired Logan so much for that. When he came to town she tried to be nice to him and strike up a friendship. He wasn't having it. And he wasn't nearly as good a man as Cooper's letter made him out to be. She thought she knew Logan nearly as well as she did Cooper.

But she was wrong.

Logan could hurt people worse than she could imagine. He was selfish and reckless. Angry. Mean. Wild. Violent.

No matter if he was a crazy man who caused destruction, Georgie could never hate him. Or ever treat him like he did her- with casual disregard. No, she was all up in his face and in his life after she heard he had made a sex bet with her sister.

She wanted him to own up to his mistakes. And change his damn Neanderthal ways. Be the man Cooper believed him to be.

Because of Cooper, Georgie was a stronger woman than she would have became otherwise. She loved him unselfishly. Never complained that he picked her sister. Never let on that it hurt. Never felt burdened by having to put up with his best friend who caused her so many headaches and hurt so many people.

It was worth any pain to be the woman that Cooper cared about. That he counted on. That he believed in.

That he put his life within the hands of.

Logan walked up behind Georgie in the cubicle. He hissed "Just give the medicine a chance to work."

"You heard the odds."

"Cooper could beat those odds. Brain surgery has its own risks. Don't put him through that until there's no other choice. This me begging you, girl."

He couldn't stand the thought of them cutting into Cooper's head and him dying on the table. Logan wanted Cooper right there in front of him every second. Like that could save him.

But it couldn't.

Georgie bent and kissed Cooper's cheek. She straightened, turned around and looked at Logan. Never before had she seen his eyes this haunted, this terrified, this broken.

She whispered "We have to do the right thing for him."

With that Logan knew her choice. She walked out and he moved closer to the bed. As she pulled the curtain she heard him whisper "Hey, buddy, you're in for a fight today but you're gonna pull through this just fine..."

Maxie was pacing the floor. She stopped and her eyes connected with Georgie's.

Mac was out dealing with the crime scene so his girls were on their own for right now.

Patrick and Robin walked back over. Georgie said "Do the surgery."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After they rolled Cooper away, a group of cops came in to check on him and sit vigil. One of them was Lucky Spencer. When he saw Maxie, suddenly, the last year didn't matter anymore.

She fell into his arms.

She had always believed so much in him. He was the one man on earth that she thought was perfect for so long.

It was clear that he wouldn't turn away from her. Not today.

Lucky sat Maxie down in a chair, crouched in front of her, and talked to her in a soothing voice that instantly calmed her down.

Logan started arguing with Head Nurse Epiphany Johnson, his voice growing heated, about why he couldn't go watch the surgery. In his frantic mind, he believed he had to be near Cooper or else he would die.

Georgie walked close to him. She laid a hand on his back. "Why don't we go to the chapel and say a prayer?"

It would have been easy for Logan to lash out at Georgie in that moment. She half expected it to happen. But it didn't.

With a grunt, slamming his hand on the counter of the nurse's station, he shook his head in resignation and then headed down the hall.

Georgie found him in the chapel a few minutes later. He was lighting a candle. She lit one too and then they sat next to each other in the pew.

"I know you're mad that I told them to go ahead with the surgery," Georgie told Logan "and that Cooper put me in charge of making decisions for him. When he joined the force he had to fill out all this paperwork....his Mom lives so far away...he knew I would be around because I'm always around. You might leave town but I wouldn't."

"He doesn't trust me. Its simple. Too late to sugarcoat it now."

"He trusts you more than anyone else on the planet. That's why I couldn't believe you slept with my sister and hurt Cooper that way. He trusts you with everything he has. Don't doubt that. He needs your faith now."

"With all the training I got being a medic...it should have been me who made this call today."

"He knew if you had to choose something like this and it all went wrong....you would blame yourself forever. Coop would never put that on you."

"He put it on you."

"Because its different."

"What are you saying? You don't love him? Save it. I'm already on to you, doll. And I have been from the day I showed up in this city. It's there in your eyes. You're not fooling nobody. Not even Maxie."

Georgie gasped.

She was about to go off on Logan and tell him how he didn't know what the hell he was talking about and he could kindly keep his opinions about who she loved to himself, when he added "But even that love, doll, might not be enough to keep him here with you....with us...and that's the damn truth."

He put his elbows on his knees, laid his face in his palms, and broke down.

Georgie wrapped her arms around his waist, pressed her cheek against his back, and held him tightly as she cried with him.

After a minute he straightened, she let go, and then he pulled her into a hug. He was shaking. His pain was palpable. Her heart was clutched with fear over Cooper. She couldn't think straight.

Georgie found himself murmuring "He'll survive, I promise."

Over and over she repeated "I promise," as she did, she started to lay short, soft, kisses on Logan's throat, jaw, his tear stained cheeks. Not even comprehending what she was doing, just comforting him and taking the comfort that came from his muscled arms around her.

Her kisses moved closer to his lips. His breathing was erratic. He jerked her flush with him, smashing her breasts against his chest, and then he ground out "I need you," and he caught her lips in their first kiss.

I need you.

Later she'd hear that repeating over and over in her mind. But in that moment those words were faint and muffled. She could barely hear him over the sound of her own heart thudding hard in her chest. She felt like she was stuck in a burning building- hot, sticky, desperate, weak, teary, on the verge of losing her mind- and nothing made sense anymore.

She clung to him as he gave her kiss after kiss.

Georgie had no idea what to think about this day. About Cooper battling for his life. Logan falling to pieces. Maxie unraveling and Lucky being her hero once more.

And Georgie....scared that the man she loved would die and it would be all her fault...terrified that Cooper wouldn't survive another hour...kissing his best friend in a chapel while candles burned in front of them.

Candles for Cooper.


	161. Look, 2

**Look What Love Has Done**

**Part Two**

Logan knew Georgie didn't love him the most.

Still he kissed her with love. Every soft, tender, breathless kiss was his love. He had loved her from the day her first letter arrived in Iraq and on the day he walked into Kelly's, saw her behind the counter, and she beamed that smile at him he knew that he'd always love her for the rest of his life.

He wasn't in love with her though. Cause there was no use in going there. None at all. He'd always come up short when compared to his best friend.

It wasn't romantic love that prompted the kiss. It was their undeniable bond. It would be unshakable for life all because of him. Cooper. His buddy who was fighting for his life while Logan was kissing Georgie.

It was clear she had fallen for his best friend. He could read those brown eyes of hers from day one. And he found the whole thing sad.

Coop hooked up with Maxie never knowing he was breaking Georgie's heart. Slept with Maxie and then put two and two together. The "sister" she went on and on about...was his pen pal...and then he saw Georgie for the first time in his life and he knew.

Maxie knew. Logan knew. Spinelli and Lulu and Robin. Mac. Patrick. Mike. Everyone. The world knew.

Georgie loved Cooper with the sweetest, gentlest devotion known to man. She had kept her pen pal a secret from Maxie and so her sister was shocked when the connection was revealed.

Georgie tried so hard to play it off but it was too late for that. Too late for Maxie to give Cooper up. She wasn't the self sacrificing type no how. And too late for Cooper to pick Georgie because he was under Maxie's spell.

Logan knew the feeling well.

It was such a messy summer. All those emotions. Jealousy. Bitterness. Pain. Fear. Regret. Lust. Rage. Need.

With all that in the air someone was bound to get hurt. And that someone was the last person that deserved it- the one who looked out for all of them- his best buddy, his brother, his truest friend.

Now Coop was more than emotionally scarred, he was critically injured. Fighting to make it through this night.

Logan had seen a lot of death in his life. Smelled it. Tasted it. Watched men take their last breath. Caused men to take their last breath. Saw that last shudder sweep through a body.

Saw things that no person should ever see.

But he never felt like this. During the war he was numb. Cold. Shut down. Now he was barely able to hold it together. He was a mad man screaming at nurses, doctors, cops, and beautiful girls who loved him.

Maxie. Georgie. The Jones sisters. They did care about Logan and he knew it.

But he came in second to Cooper. Both of them cared about Cooper most, including him.

And that is why the thought of Cooper being hurt and possibly dying tonight made Logan kiss the woman who loved Cooper in the purest, most unselfish way.

Maybe Logan just wanted to pretend she loved him that way too. That she would take care of him if Coop died. And let him take care of her.

That they would make love, cry together, and cling to each other all night long for as many nights as it took till he could stop thinking about eating his gun.

He needed hope. Kissing her was hope. And so, like the sinner he was since birth, he kissed the girl who didn't love him. Kissed her in a church where he had just been saying silent prayers to God to save his friend.

Making deals.

_I'll be better. I'll be calmer. I'll get it together. I'll stop hurting him. I'll fix it all with Scott. I'll make my Ma proud_, he told God, willing to agree to anything to save Cooper.

Offering to be perfect. Though he had never been that a day in his life. But to keep Cooper here Logan could try to strive for that perfection he believed God expected.

He'd even trade his soul to keep his friend's soul here on earth longer.

Not that he thought it worked that way. He only wished it did. Wished God would strike Logan dead- end the pain for good- and give Cooper sixty more years of life to enjoy.

But God didn't go for that deal. Because Logan was still breathing, still aching, still crying, as he kissed Georgie for long minutes. Their breathing, sniffling, and murmurs of comforting words back and forth- He'll be okay.....I'm here...Don't cry...It's all right....- was the only sound in the chapel.

Desperate kisses. Desperate words. Desperate prayers in a desperate hour.

The world was spinning the wrong way. Cooper could be dying this very minute. And Logan didn't know what to do but kiss Georgie another time and try to believe in miracles.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

They might have gone on kissing for hours if there wasn't the sound of someone walking it, and then trying to hurry away.

Georgie and Logan broke apart. Their eyes both went to the door and saw Scott standing there, looking completely unsure of what to say or do.

Logan stood up and turned away. He wiped off his face. Georgie ran her hands over her own cheeks, wiping away tears that might have been hers or his, she really didn't know.

It didn't matter.

They were one and the same that night. Both loving Cooper with all they had and scared out of their heads for him. Feeling death stalking them and him. Kissing because that was life and hope.

They were replicas of each other. Twin reflections. Something they had never been before.

She always thought he was more like Maxie, and she was more like Cooper. Georgie wondered why it didn't work that they were paired off that way. The way that made sense.

But it hadn't.

Instead this happened. This madness. This pain. This grief and worry. Fear. Hard choices that could mean life and death tonight.

"Uh," Scott said "I just...uh...I heard about Barrett."

Georgie stood up, as Logan turned back around. She looked at him. "Should I give you a minute. Or would you rather come with me to go see if we can get an update on Coop now?"

She wanted to support Logan however he needed. Stay or go. Do whatever helped him because Cooper couldn't be there to do it.

"Hold on a sec and I'll go with ya," Logan said.

Stay.

It made her feel warmer inside to know he wanted her there.

He shuffled closer to Scott.

Scott said "Uh....one of those nurses....the mean one...told me you were down here. She don't seem to like you none. I told her she needs to cut you some slack because..."

Logan hissed out "Just shut up."

Scott froze.

Georgie tensed. With these two it was impossible to know if Logan was about to knock Scott out or not. If Scott's latest attempt to bond would turn ugly. If he would give up quick, say something mean and walk away.

Logan told him "I can't deal with you tonight, okay?"

"I just wanna tell you that you got family around if you need-"

"I know I got family. Cooper is my FAMILY!"

"I get that you're close but...uh...you got more than Cooper, if you want. I don't know why I even bothered to come here cause its clear you want me gone so-"

"Don't you get it? This ain't about you tonight!" Logan was panting as overwhelming emotions ripped through his body. "I can't bury my best friend...I can't do that...so shut up, okay? Cause I ain't thinking about you right now. Tonight is just about Cooper. That's it. So shut up! SHUT UP!"

And then they were hugging.

Georgie could never be sure who reached for the other first but she knew that hug would change everything.

All because of Cooper.

She just prayed this was not the last thing Cooper ever did to help Logan.


	162. Look, 3

**Look What Love Has Done**

**Part Three**

The night crept by slowly.

The waiting room was filled with quiet, sad people. Georgie rested her head on Maxie's shoulder. Logan paced and paced and paced. Annoying Mac to no end but Mac didn't say a word to him. Spinelli worked on keeping people fed and hydrated until finally he collapsed into a chair next to Lulu. He so wanted to help Georgie to cope but it seemed nothing he said took the fear out of her eyes.

Scott was the loudest. He talked about getting a conviction for Cooper and he bustled at Epiphany if she didn't have an update when he wanted one.

In another waiting room down the hall, it was wall-to-wall cops. They wouldn't leave till they knew that their brother in blue was okay.

Cooper came out of the surgery and went into the ICU. Patrick said he would be sedated till the next day and everyone should go home.

Only Lulu took that option but she came back in the morning. The rest of them spent the night in the waiting room. Maxie couldn't leave Cooper. Logan had no intention of walking out of that hospital till he knew his friend was gonna pull through. Georgie's whole heart- the people she loved most in the world- were all there so that is where she had to be too.

Scott knew better than to think of walking out on Logan. And wild horses wouldn't drag Mac away from his girls.

Patrick said "One at a time you can go in and see him, if you want, but don't stay long. Five minutes, that's it. Let the nurses do their jobs and stay out of their way."

Georgie told Logan "You go ahead and go first."

He jogged out the door without even trying to offer to let someone else take his place.

XXXXXXXXXXX

He didn't feel like he could relax yet. Logan looked down at Coop in the hospital bed, with bandages around his head, and IV's in him, and shuddered.

He looked weak. Like he still might not make it.

There was no relief inside of Logan yet. He was still tense and terrified.

"Hey, buddy, so far so good but you got a way to go yet, okay? You got to get strong again, Barrett. And then quit that bullshit job as a cop. Look what it got you?.....You made it this far. Now you got to go the rest of the way....Your Mom will be here soon and if you think I'm dealing with her without you forget about it....You better wake up tomorrow and deal with her yourself....I'm counting on you, buddy. Don't let me down."

Maxie showed up for her turn to visit Cooper. Logan touched her arm, walked past her, and headed into the hall.

There stood Georgie. This would be there first time alone since they kissed in the chapel.

She looked drained and emotionally fragile. He longed to hug her but he wasn't about to fool himself like that. He wasn't her man. If not for Maxie....well, if not for Maxie a whole hell of a lot would be different....Georgie and Cooper would be on the way to the alter, to buying a house with a white picket fence, to the babies and getting a couple dogs to run around the back yard.

If not for Maxie being beautiful and irreplaceable, then Logan never would have broken Cooper's heart the way he did. He wouldn't do that over just any chick. But she wasn't just any chick.

If she didn't exist, it would all be different. But she did. So Georgie couldn't be with Cooper. And Logan couldn't be satisfied with Lulu. He could act like he was and chase her till his dying breath but if Maxie wanted him he'd be back to her in a second. Or he would have.

Till he knew what it was like to kiss her sister.

But knowing how precious a kiss from Georgie was didn't change a thing. She still loved Cooper and she would always, probably, love him most. Logan had to put that firmly in the front of his mind when dealing with her from now on.

She asked him, as he just stared at her in silence, "Do you think I did the right thing by picking the surgery?"

"There's no way to know what the medicine would have done. It could have not been enough and then it might have been too late for the surgical option too. You did what you thought was right. Coop will thank you for that."

"I wanted to honor your wishes but my gut said he needed this."

"That's why he picked you. You're smarter than me."

"No. He picked me because he was protecting you and Maxie."

"He trusts you, Georgie. Don't downplay that."

"And I trust him. But I also understand how I fit into his world. I understand and I accepted it a long time ago. In case you think I haven't."

Of course she would say that. What else could she? That is how Logan figured this situation.

He said "Look, about what I said earlier, I shouldn't have thrown that in your face. That was me being out of line, doll.....I'm gonna go get some air, okay?"

He walked off before she could say anything else. All the kisses he gave her were ones he'd never regret or forget but it didn't mean she was any less in love with his best friend then when she woke up yesterday morning.

And Logan wasn't about to lie to himself, like he had with Maxie, and set himself up for more heartache. He'd been through enough already.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

He was standing outside the hospital when Lulu walked out. She gave Logan a sad look. "I'm gonna head home. Maybe you should go, too. Get some sleep."

They fought all the time but there were also times when Lulu seemed willing to fight for him. That had confused Logan from the start. It was a push and pull between them that kept him engaged. Even though they were broken up, he still was obsessed with Lulu.

Obsessing about her kept his mind off Maxie. And now he could use her to keep his mind off Coop...and Georgie.

Stop himself from thinking of sweet kisses he could never have again.

Logan could play on Lulu's sudden sympathy for him and get her to go home with him. Get her out of her clothes and her thighs spread for him.

The idea drifted through his mind as he stepped closer to her. His mouth opened to say "I could use a friend, Lu. Why don't you come back to my place?" but instead what come out was a gruff "Yeah, I'm gonna stick around here for a while."

It would be a relief to sleep with Lulu. A way to hide from his pain. But it would feel disgusting to kiss her when he was still thinking about Georgie. Seeing Georgie in his head. Remembering her kisses on his lips.

He might be a jackass most of the time but he just couldn't do that right now. He needed some time to get over what went down with Georgie.

Time to remind himself how unlikely it was that she'd ever stop loving Cooper long enough to see there was a good inside of Logan too. Maybe he wasn't the hero Cooper was but he tried just as hard to be one. For what that was worth.

Lulu said "If you need anything, call me."

"Sure thing."

"Well...then...bye, Logan. See ya around. Make sure you call, okay?"

"Yep."

She walked off. He knew he wouldn't call her for a while. His mind was on Cooper right now. And his heart was hooked on Georgie.

That left no room for Lulu inside of Logan.

It wasn't the way he wanted it. He would rather his best friend be healthy and Georgie be at Kelly's serving coffee and hating Logan, like she was so good at. Because that made sense.

What was going on at General Hospital the last twenty four hours made no sense. Cooper nearly dying. Georgie laying kisses all over Logan's face, as she cried, and begged him to believe in miracles. It all felt so surreal.

Georgie eased Logan's pain when they kissed but when their kisses ended she only gave him a new heartbreak to focus on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spinelli stumbled down the hallway, bumping into a cart as he made his way toward the ICU. His gentle green eyes focused on Georgie.

"How are you, Wise Friend?"

She flung himself into his arms.

Gasping, he held her tight. He was a little shocked that she needed him so much but that was why he had stayed all night. To be here for her when the moment came that she required his support during her time of crisis. "My Wise and Faithful Friend, it shall all work out fine, in the end. The Jackal is here for you."

"I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, Spinelli!"

"You saved The Clean Cut Cadet's life with your wise choice of taking the surgical option."

"Did I?" She pulled back and moved from his arms. She stared through the glass at Maxie, who was holding Cooper's hand. "What if I made the wrong choice? How will Maxie forgive me? How will Logan? How can we go on without Coop? He's been so good to me. I can't lose him....I can't."

"I realize how strong your feelings are for him-"

With her eyes focused on Cooper, Georgie whispered, hoarsely, "Logan was right, wasn't he? Everyone thinks I'm in love with Coop....well...I'm not....... Not anymore."

"You do not have to reveal your heart deepest secrets to me. Just know I will stand by your through whatever trials and tribulations you face. You will never be without support and devotion."

"Thank you. I just wish I knew that I have been as good a friend to Cooper as you are to me, Spinelli. Because I do love him, as a friend, and I can't imagine my life without him."

Spinelli rested his hand on her shoulder. She wished she felt better because of his touch but she didn't. Georgie still felt cold and empty. She needed different arms wrapped around her.

She knew if Logan would just take her into his arms again she wouldn't feel like she was breaking apart at the seams.

But she feared that Logan regretted the comfort he gave her the night before and that he wouldn't be making that same mistake twice.


	163. Look, 4

**Look What Love Has Done**

**Part Four**

Dealing with Julia Barrett wasn't easy. Her fear and worry made her snap at everyone who was around.

As the day went on she railed at all of them. Mac. Maxie. Scott. Epiphany. Spinelli. Logan. Patrick. Robin. And when Brenda showed up with Jason Morgan tagging behind her she yelled at her sister about hanging out with gangsters.

Georgie felt pity for Julia because she was terrified for her son. But having to be on eggshells around her, and having to deal with her speculating that the surgery was the wrong choice, wore Georgie out.

She ended up sitting on the ground in the hallway, with her back against the wall. She rested her head on her knees.

It was late afternoon and she was truly exhausted now.

She heard footsteps and then someone crouched in front of her. Just by the smell of his cologne she knew it was Logan. Georgie lifted her head. Their eyes met.

"Hey, girl, you hanging in okay?"

"Are you?"

"Don't worry about me none."

"Did you get anything to eat today?"

"Coop would be proud of you. Looking out for him, me, Maxie, his Mom. But who's looking out for you?"

"I'm fine. Spinelli-"

Logan sat next to her, with his back on the wall too. "Oh, right. The Jackal. I did notice he's playing like your shadow today. Why ain't he glued to your side right now?"

"He went to go get some Chinese take-out."

Logan rubbed his jaw. "You should just head home."

"I can't leave yet. Patrick says Cooper could wake up within the next few hours. That he should if-"

"Don't say if."

Georgie stared at the white wall, across the hallway. After a long moment she whispered "I'll hate myself if I made the wrong choice."

"Don't talk that way."

"And you'll hate me too."

"I won't ever hate you."

She turned her head and looked at him. Their eyes held. "You should have decided. You know more than me about medicine."

"Coop trusted you. I trust you too. You did what I didn't have the guts to do. I couldn't tell them to cut into him. You did what had to be done. Just hang onto that."

She whispered "I couldn't make it through this without you."

In his eyes she saw so many conflicting emotions. He always seemed to be holding back on her. Except for when he was kissing her the day before. Then he was completely open, raw, and vulnerable.

Now he looked like he didn't want to give into that again. She wished he would reach out for her. Hold her hand, brush her cheek with his fingers, kiss her lips. Hug her tightly. Anything. Just make the fear stop for a moment.

He didn't look like he was going to do any of that though. She knew she should look away. Break eye contact. Stop acting so needy. Stop thinking that only Logan could know how bad she hurt and help her in this moment.

It felt that way deep inside of Georgie but that didn't mean Logan wanted to be her savior. Or that she should try and force him to be.

They both were shattered after the long twenty four hours they went through. And they both were terrified that Cooper might not pull through this.

Just then some nurses ran down the hall and into Cooper's room. Georgie and Logan jumped to their feet. They looked inside, through the doorway. Julia was teary. She looked at them and said "He woke up."

Relief flooded through Georgie. "I should go get Maxie. Excuse me."

She turned to leave and her eyes connected with Logan's for a moment. She still longed for a hug, at the least, from him but she didn't put her arms around him. It was so new, this feeling in her, this longing for Logan. But it was real and powerful. When she kissed his face the day before she made it clear what she wanted and when he kissed her lips, again and again, he saw what they could be together.

If he didn't want that then she couldn't make him feel different. Just like she couldn't make Cooper fall in love with her instead of Maxie. Or make Dillon not cheat on her with Lulu. Make Diego not lie to her. Not die and leave her here lonely for what they never got the chance to be together.

Georgie was getting very good at dealing with disappointment. It looked like Logan would be just another name to add to her list.

She pushed down those thoughts and rushed to find her sister. All that mattered was that Cooper was alive. After she got to the waiting room and told everyone that Cooper had woken up she hugged Spinelli. For the second time that day she wished it was Logan who had his hands on her instead of her good friend The Jackal.

XXXXXXXXXXX

It was hours later when Georgie was able to go in and see Cooper. The doctors spent some time with him and then his Aunt Brenda visited him. Logan had stormed in there when the nurses were first looking at Cooper, unwilling to heed their words about waiting. After Brenda it was Maxie's turn.

Finally Maxie came back to the waiting room. Georgie was in there with only Scott for company because Jason and Spinelli had took Brenda back to the Penthouse- where she would stay while she was in town. Georgie had insisted Spinelli should go, telling him that she would head home herself soon.

But she couldn't go anywhere till she was able to speak with Cooper.

Maxie said "He's starting to fall asleep because of the medication they gave him but he really wants to see you first."

"Okay." Georgie hurried to his room.

She found Logan in there. He had been hanging around the room, or right outside, for hours now.

He gave her a small grin. She could see how relieved he was now. "Hey, doll."

"Hi," she said. Her eyes jerked from Logan to Cooper.

She took his hand. Tears flooded her eyes. "Coop," her voice broke.

He squeezed her hand. "Its okay. I'm gonna be okay."

Epiphany came walking in. "All right. Visiting hours have long been over. I don't want no complaining out of you kids or your fathers. I don't care if they are the police chief and special prosecutor. That don't have no pull up in my hospital. Y'all say good night now so this Officer can get some rest."

"I'll be back in the morning," Logan told Cooper, with a nod, and then he walked out, behaving as if it didn't nearly rip his heart out to do it.

Georgie used to fear, for a while there, that Logan was heartless. Now she saw he was just good at sometimes pretending to be. It was when he couldn't pretend anymore that he became irresistible to her. Like he was in the chapel.

But that man could be hidden forever beneath this one.

He had to trust her in order for him to be vulnerable. It was clear he trusted Lulu like that. But not Georgie. She hated knowing that but it was true, all the same, and she couldn't lie to herself.

Georgie had tears streaming down her face when she kissed Cooper's cheek. "Good night."

"Night."

He was still weak. Still sick. Still fighting to survive. But he was the hero she always believed him to be. Cooper would make it. He'd fight to stay with them.

She was finally starting to have hope again.

If everything else went wrong, she'd still have this man whose love would always be there. As her friend. It was just so hard to face that she was everyone's friend and no one's lover.

When she left Coop's hospital room she looked around for Logan but he was already gone.


	164. Look, 5

**Look What Love Has Done**

**Part Five**

More than a week went by before it was the day when Cooper was being released from the hospital. Logan walked into Cooper's room at Kelly's and found Georgie changing the sheets.

"What you up to, girl?"

"I just thought I'd straighten up Coop's room for him. I got the spare key from Mike. I hope Cooper doesn't mind. I didn't nose around in his stuff. I just want the room to be nice for him when he gets back."

"It's a sweet thought but don't bother. His Mom rented him an apartment. She wanted him to leave town with her when she heads back to Virginia but he told her to forget it. She didn't take that so hot. That woman thinks she can control everyone and everything. I told her she needs to back the hell off him. And then she told me to get the hell out of there before she called security."

"What made you come here?"

"I figured I'd get Coop some clothes. He's getting released in a few hours."

"Okay. Well I'll let you get to that then."

They hadn't spent any time alone together since the day Cooper woke up. Logan had actually been avoiding Georgie. He knew he wouldn't get over their kisses if he was always around her.

Seeing her just made him want to kiss her again.

It wasn't like he had a lot of willpower. He couldn't see her over and over and resist her. So he had to stay away from her.

Because he didn't wanna fall in love with the woman who had it bad for his best friend.

Logan let Georgie walk out of Cooper's room without doing anything to stop her. His fingers clenched at his side as he fought the urge to reach out, as she passed by him, take hold of her and pull her into a wickedly erotic kiss.

One that wasn't about pain and fear. A kiss that was about lust and hunger. He was so damn hungry for her now.

Hungry to be the hero she loved. Instead of maybe her second or third choice- after Cooper and Spinelli- and that was if he was damn lucky. He might not even be that to her.

It wasn't like she had said a word about wanting to kiss him again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie stood behind the counter in the diner, not twenty minutes after being alone with Logan in Cooper's room, and watched Logan talking to Lulu. As usual Georgie felt like a spectator in her own life. Not the person who the story was about. Just the person who watched the interesting people living, loving, fighting and forgiving.

Every day her feelings for Logan grew. She worried about him and if he was taking care of himself right. He spent so much time at the hospital. Her only solace was that his father was now stopping by every day to check on Logan. That had to help Logan to feel better. Knowing Scott cared must be making this hard time a little easier.

"You didn't call me," Lulu whined.

"Sorry, darlin, you know how it is."

"I know that we're kinda going through a rough patch right now-"

"You dumped me."

"You cheated on me!"

"Yeah, it's a rough patch for sure."

"But we are still friends."

"Sure."

"So you wanna go for a walk, Logan?"

"Sure. Lets go."

"Cool."

They headed for the door of the diner together. Georgie felt like chucking a coffee mug at Lulu's head but she stopped herself. It was not Lulu's fault that Logan was so nuts over her.

It just hurt to see with Georgie's own eyes that Logan hadn't let go of his feelings for Lulu. Did kissing Georgie mean nothing to him?

She wished she could make it mean nothing to her too. Write it off as a bad night where crazy things happened that would never happen again. No big deal.

But she wanted more kisses. And it felt like a big deal. Kissing him made her feel safe, whole, protected, cherished, loved, important.

How could she forget about that? How could he?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was nearly eleven o'clock at night when Georgie got off work. She told herself to just go home but for the last six hours images of Logan and Lulu kissing were tormenting her mind.

She couldn't take it anymore.

She had to do something to let Logan know that if he went back to Lulu he would be hurting Georgie. To at least tell him she wanted him. To make sure he knew what he was giving up. He probably wouldn't care but she had to look him in his eyes and tell him aloud what she was feeling.

Before she lost another chance at love.

Maybe this chance was already gone but maybe not. Maybe there was still time.

Thoughts like that made her drive to Logan's apartment and knock on the door. She was shocked when he opened it and she saw Lulu sitting on the couch. Georgie's eyes widened.

She was too late.

"Uh...," Georgie blushed "I should have called first. Its late. I shouldn't have just dropped by."

Logan quickly said "We were just talking."

Lulu smirked and stood up. "You don't have to explain anything to her. Georgie could careless if we hook up again or not."

Logan asked Georgie "What brings you by?"

"Uh....I was hoping we could...um...talk alone."

Lulu looked between them with an amused look on her face. "That's my cue, I guess!" She grabbed her purse. "Call me, Logan. Promise?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, in a tone that was completely uncomfortable.

Lulu breezed out the door. Logan closed and locked it. "So..." he let out a breath as his eyes darted around the room "sorry this place is a mess-"

"I interrupted you two. I'm the one who should be sorry-"

"Don't worry about it."

"But I'm not."

"Huh?"

"I'm glad I interrupted."

"I'm not following you."

"Are you getting back with Lulu?"

"Georgie-" he said, in a warning tone.

"Didn't you even consider me? Us? What about us, Logan?"

"Look I know it took a lot for you to come over here and I'm flattered but-"

Tears stung her eyes. She rushed past him and fumbled to unlock the door. "This was a mistake. My mistake. Forget I was here."

"Georgie," he murmured, as he took hold of her arms, just as she yanked opened the door.

Logan pushed the door closed again. He was pressed against her from behind. Her skin tingled with awareness.

"Just let me go."

"Not until we talk this out, girl."

Until he let her down easy is what he meant and she knew it. "Leave GO of me!"

Logan stepped back. Georgie turned around, breathing heavily. Their eyes held on each other.

She told him "Just pretend I never came here at all. Please. Do that for me." She started to turn to leave again.

"Can you...wait? Just hold on a second."

"I'm so embarrassed," she whimpered.

Before her fingers could close around the door handle- and she could leave and tell herself to wipe stupid, reckless, angry, mean, foolish Logan Hayes out of her mind for good- he grabbed her and yanked her close to him. His lips covered her, as she gasped, and his tongue slid deep into her mouth.

Her stomach clenched with lust. She couldn't even breath. Her head was spinning. Why was he kissing her when he had been trying to let her down easy?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

His feelings hadn't changed any. He still believed she was in love with Cooper. And that she would be with Cooper if he didn't love Maxie. Though Coop and Maxie were broken up everyone knew they were still in love.

Even feeling that way Logan had kissed Georgie anyway.

Because Logan couldn't stand to see Georgie there with tears in her eyes over him. Feeling completely unwanted. He never meant to make her feel that way. He had only been trying to protect himself from more pain. He didn't mean to be the cause of her feeling hurt or rejected.

He had her in his arms and kissing her before he knew what he was doing.

He acted on pure emotion. Only wanted to soothe her and make her see how damn sexy she really was.

That he didn't push her away because she wasn't as hot as other chicks he had been with...he pushed her away because he was afraid to give in to all the feelings that kissing her had provoked.

It was easy to run from her. Because it would truly destroy him if she was using him because she couldn't have his best friend.

When he broke their kiss her fingers were caressing his cheeks. He looked down and into her eyes. "Georgie," he whispered.

She stumbled back from him.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Logan gave her a small grin. "You were pretty pissed off to see Lulu here, weren't ya, doll?"

"You just need to make a choice and stick with it."

"You were pissed. I saw it in your eyes."

"If I was mad your ears would still be ringing."

He chuckled. "Okay, but you weren't happy."

"Did you expect me to be happy about you hooking back up with her?"

"I'm not back with Lulu."

"Don't play mind games with me."

"I ain't lying to you about this."

"You tell me 'I'm flattered but' and then you kiss me. I came here to figure this out but now I'm more confused than ever. Why did you just kiss me?"

"To prove to you how bad I want you."

She moved closer to him.

Logan added "But I don't think we ought to take this anywhere."


	165. Look, 6

**Thanks for reviewing! Keep in mind this is a love triangle so there is a Cooper component to this story.**

**Look What Love Has Done**

**Part Six**

Georgie could not think straight, as she stood in front of Logan in his apartment.

_I want you._

_I don't want you._

_Come close._

_Go away. _

_Its Lulu I want._

_I don't want her anymore_.

The way he was acting made no sense at all. She was getting so pissed off at him and frustrated. Just a minute before he was kissing her, making her tingle and shiver with sensual bliss, and then he pulled away and started talking like a jerk again. Teasing her about being jealous of Lulu.

Was he getting off on playing them against each other?

Georgie was about to knee Logan in the groin, storm out, and go back to hating his guts. He was making her heart hurt.

She came here tonight to tell him that he could pick her instead of Lulu. But when she said that he acted like she was a sweet woman who was deluded if she believed they were getting together. He had said he was flattered.

That stung like he slapped her. He was flattered but uninterested.

Then he kissed her like he wanted to lay her on his bed and make love to her until she couldn't even move because she was so exhausted and satisfied.

To make matters even worse he said he wanted to prove to her he wanted her but that they shouldn't take this any further.

Trying to stay calm, she said "If this is because you still have feelings for Lulu then I respect that though you should know that not all relationships have to be so volatile. You could choose to be with me and leave behind that roller coaster ride with her-"

"I ain't saying this because of her. Its not about me wanting her. I don't want her at all. I'm through with trying to date her. I told her today that we better just try to be friends now."

"Whatever. If its not about you and Lulu then I don't know what's holding you back. All I do know is I can't make you feel like I feel. You say you want me but not enough to date me. Fine then. If you don't want to be with me, then you don't. I'm leaving now and you're letting me go."

She hurried out the door.

"Georgie!"

She ran to her car, jumped in and sped away. She felt like a complete idiot. Logan was not into her. She just had to go back to when she wasn't into him either.

It wouldn't be easy though.

The memory of his kisses would forever linger in her mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Georgie was driving home Cooper called her. Maxie had been leaving Georgie messages because she didn't come straight home from work and Mac was worried. Georgie was stopped at stop sign when Cooper called.

She grabbed the her cell and answered.

He could tell from her voice that she was upset. He gave her the address of his new place and asked her to come right over.

When she walked through the door of his apartment she said "I shouldn't be here. You need your rest."

"I won't be able to sleep if I'm worrying about what's the matter with you."

She slipped out of her coat.

He asked "Did you call your sister?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I worried everyone. I know that with the Text Message Killer still on the loose that everyone is scared about the safety of women in this city. I didn't mean to worry my Dad and Maxie."

Cooper eased onto the couch. Georgie sat next to him.

"Talk to me," he said.

"I'm just stressed out lately- with school and stuff."

"Did you start getting threatening texts too?"

"No."

"Good. You make sure you tell me if you do or if anyone bothers you, Georgie."

"I will."

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay so tell me what's bothering you right now."

Her eyes dropped. "I kissed someone and now its gotten really messy."

"Messy in what way?"

"Because he's driving me crazy, which should be no surprise because he's basically did everything he could to get on my nerves since the day I met him!"

"You kissed Logan?"

Her eyes locked on Cooper's. "He didn't tell you?"

"No. So you tell me."

"How did you know that I was talking about him?"

"You never get as worked up as when you're mad at him. Did he force you into something you didn't want? Lulu said he got aggressive with her at Jake's before they started dating. I will deal with him if he kissed you when you didn't want him to."

"I wanted it."

There was a knock on the door. "Coop. Hey, buddy! You still up? I gotta talk to you." The door knob turned and then Logan walked right in, while saying, "I made a mess of things with Geor-"

Logan froze. He glared at them for a long moment and then asked Georgie "You ran straight over here to him? That's just perfect, girl. Really. Typical."

"Don't even judge me!" Georgie yelled at him. "I'm not doing anything but talking to my friend."

"Friend? Give me a fucking break. How long is it gonna be before you two get naked together? Tell me please. Because then Maxie will be able to move on and maybe then we'll all get to be with who we really want the most. We can stop playing games about all this."

Cooper stood up, painfully because he was still woozy and on medication from his brain surgery. "What the hell does that mean? You swore to me you're past Maxie. Was that just another lie?"

"You can't have them both, buddy. Two sisters in one bed would be a little fucking crowded, don't you think?"

Georgie screeched at Logan. "Shut up! You're so disgusting. Just get out of here. Can't you see that Coop needs his rest?"

"And you always give Coop just want he needs, don't you, doll? You're waiting for your chance to take your sister's spot in his heart. But it ain't coming. He might fuck you but he'll never fall in love with nobody but her-"

That's when Cooper punched Logan, who fell backwards into the hallway, and Georgie screamed.

The neighbors called the cops.

By the time Lucky showed up Logan had a wash cloth with ice in it on his jaw. Cooper was still trying to calm down his new neighbors and convince them he wouldn't be a problem tenant. Logan refused to apologize to Georgie so she refused to speak to him.

After Cooper talked to Lucky it was decided that no charges would be filed. Lucky told Georgie "Let me walk you to your car. I'm sure Mac wants you home. Its late and its not safe to be out."

"Thanks."

Georgie left with Lucky. In the hallway, she said to him "I'll meet you in the lobby in a minute, okay? I want to say good night to Coop."

Lucky said "Sure." He looked at Cooper. "Lets not have anymore disturbances around here tonight."

"There won't be."

After Lucky left Georgie gave Cooper a hug good bye and told him "Sorry about the drama."

"I'll talk to him."

"Don't bother." Her eyes held his for a long moment. "Its pretty clear what he thinks and nothing is going to change his mind."

"He's wrong."

Her eyes stayed locked on Cooper's but Georgie didn't respond.

Coop went on "He was out of line."

"I should have realized what he was thinking and been more sensitive to his feelings. But I was upset. He acted like a jerk and there's no excuse for what he said but I set this all in motion."

"Don't blame yourself because he's confused and irrational."

"The stuff he said was nasty and mean. But why he said it makes sense."

"Because he's jealous that we're close. Well that's his problem. Not ours."

"Stop pretending like you're oblivious to what everyone else knows.......I fell in love with you."

"Georgie-"

"Look at the mess I made, Coop."

"Please do not put this on yourself, sweetheart."

"I feel so stupid because everyone knew and was laughing at me behind my back."

"No."

"I just bet."

"I wasn't laughing at you."

"I feel ridiculous. I blamed Logan for leading me on but no wonder he's not into the idea of dating me....cause he thinks I want you still."

Their eyes held.

Georgie went on "I want you and Maxie to get back together, if that's what you want. I want you happy. And, even if it seems crazy to want him, I do want to be with him. Because he makes me remember I'm alive. I haven't felt that way in a long time."

A long moment passed. Time seemed to stand still. Cooper raised his hands and cupped Georgie's face. He leaned his forehead against hers and whispered "Don't do anything just to let me off the hook. Don't make a sacrifice for the sake of what you think I want. Just be honest about what you feel and I swear to you we can figure this all out."

Just then Cooper's door opened and Logan was there, holding his coat. He startled at the sight of them and then said "I'm out of here! Three is definite fucking crowd."

"Don't come back till you do something about your attitude."

"Screw off, Barrett."

After Logan stomped down the stairs, Georgie started crying. Cooper hugged her close to him. "Shhhh."

"How could it all go so wrong? This started with something so beautiful. Your letters to me. You built me up again. I loved those letters. I loved you, Coop. I don't know how it ended up like this."

"Come back inside and we can talk some more-"

"No. Lucky's waiting on me. I need to get home. My Dad is really worried and probably pacing the floors by now. Even though I called home he won't relax till I'm there."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry that it all came out this way. I really do want you to be able to make things right with Maxie. I'll feel horrible if I have said anything that messes that up."

"It was already messed up. Maybe beyond repair. Its so hard to get over her and Logan hooking up."

"You love her. Love should be enough to rebuild what's been broken."

"Love." He chuckled bitterly. "I don't know if I even believe in that anymore."

"I still believe enough for all of us. I believe that if anyone should end up happy then its you, Coop." She gave him a teary, sad smile and left.

(Look at what love has done to us.

When will we ever learn to trust?

-

We're running out of time.

There's so little time, baby

Will you look at what love has done to me?

-

I'm calling out your name, baby.

Calling out.

Calling out.

yeah, yeah, yeah.-

Now look at what love has done to us

When will we ever learn to trust?

-

We're running out of time

There's so, so little time, baby.

Oh, look what love has done.

Baby look what love has done to me.

-

Look what love has done...done to me) (Patty Smith)


	166. Look, 7

****

Look What Love Has Done

Part Seven

October 23, 2007

Georgie was nervous for the next few days that there would be another blow up with Logan. When he was hurt he was mean and there was no telling who he might take it out on.

She warned Spinelli to make sure he steered cleared of him.

To her relief, Logan didn't stir up anymore chaos. He stayed out of the diner for days and she didn't hear about any fighting between him and Cooper, or him and anyone else. Lulu didn't bitch at her for kissing Logan and Maxie didn't cry about Georgie falling for Coop.

After a few days Georgie relaxed a little. Cooper was still recovering at home. He was keeping his distance from Georgie now. She hoped their friendship could withstand the truth being known aloud, instead of the secret no one talked about.

Georgie didn't know how her heart would heal if she lost Cooper from her life.

She ducked into a coffee shop near campus, before she was scheduled to go volunteer at General Hospital, and that's where she ran into Logan. It seems he had decided to stay away from Kelly's and her.

That stung. But she tried to play it off and not let it show on her face. She ordered her drink to go. After she had it she walked over to his table. He was looking at the want ads.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"I wanted to tell you-"

"Look, Georgie, I know I-"

"You go first."

"I know I lost my cool. I do that too much. What happened just shows that I was right about you and me though."

She didn't agree with him but she let that slide and said "I wanted to tell you thank you for not calling up Maxie and starting trouble for me."

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"Well, thanks."

"I'm sorry the cops showed up that night. Did your Dad get mad at you for being in the middle of that?"

"It was just a misunderstanding. That's what I told him because that's the truth."

Logan took a drink of his coffee.

Georgie said "Coop says you two aren't really talking much these days-"

"Don't worry about it."

"Of course I worry-"

"It'll work itself out."

"You two are best friends. Its stupid to not talk because of this."

"Its not the first time a beautiful woman caused us to wanna knock each other out."

"But you're not going to, right? He just got out of surgery-"

"I'm not gonna do anything but mind my own business. This isn't my business. Its between you and him."

"I can tell how mad you still are about this and I wish you wouldn't be because-"

"Nah, girl, you're imagining things. I ain't mad." He took another sip of his coffee.

"I'm not imagining anything. You're holding against me how I used to feel. I don't do that to you. I don't throw in your face how you acted last month or last summer."

"Yeah, you do. All the time."

"Fine! Maybe I do but I wanted to get past all that and you won't even try!"

Logan stood up. He threw some money on the table. "We've made enough scenes at Kelly's. I don't feel like getting kicked out of one of the last coffee houses in town that will let me in. Lets take this outside."

Georgie couldn't believe how her fast their conversation got heated. All she wanted to do was tell him she was glad he didn't try to get Maxie worked up over the idea that Georgie was in love with Cooper. But instead of quitting after she said that she tried to bring up Logan's feelings about her crush on his army buddy. That obviously was a touchy subject.

She was just still upset that Logan wouldn't allow them to see where the sparks between them could lead. It was so hard to find a man who she could make anything work with and she was sick of feeling like her love was given in vain.

Georgie grew more and more invested in Logan each day and each day she grew more scared that it was all for nothing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan put his hand on Georgie's back and led her outside, into the cool autumn air. Even though he was touching her coat, and not her bare skin, the connection was palpable between them.

Though neither would admit it, the connection had always been there between them, simmering under the surface.

That is what made it all so crazy with them and their friends. All the lust and hunger between all of them, the many different ways people wanted and needed each other in their circle of friends and enemies.

The co-dependency, jealousy and longing was intense. Breath stealing. Life threatening.

They had certainly managed to all end up miserable: Coop, Maxie, Lulu, Spinelli, Logan and Georgie. Logan didn't want it to stay that way but he didn't see how it could change.

No matter what Georgie said he had eyes. And his eyes saw the way she looked at Cooper. Like he was the best hero on earth.

How could Logan let his heart open to Georgie if he knew from the start he had no choice of ever being the best hero in her world?

When they got outside, Georgie sighed and said "Logan, I'm sorry. The last thing I want to do is fight. Its really stupid. I know I can't argue my way into making you want me."

Stepping close to her, he dropped his voice "You gotta get it through your head, I do want you. Kissing you makes me completely dazed and that's no lie but-"

She drowned out the rest of his sentence by giving him a soft, tender kiss. When she pulled back they stared into each other eyes. She whispered "This is all that matters. The past doesn't matter to me and I wish you would let it not matter to you either."

"I know you think I'm some kind of dumbass-"

"No, I don't. In fact, I'm sure you're very smart. And I wish that you would use that brain of yours for a better job."

"You've called me a Neanderthal before."

"You made me mad the day I said that."

"Maybe I'm hardly better than some cave man but I'm not dumb enough to fall in love with you when you're in love with my best friend. I'm not gonna be that idiot this time."

"I know you want to be with me. That's why you're so hurt right now. And I want to be with you. Are you just addicted to drama? Is that what this is? You can't just relax and see if we have a good time going out. I'd like to sit in a movie theater and hold your hand. Take me to a movie, Logan."

"Okay. After you tell me you don't love him. Say it for me, girl. Say you don't love him anymore. You are not still in love with Cooper. Just say it and you and me can see where we can go together."

Georgie let out a short, pain filled breath. "Why are you doing this to us? You're taking something that could be so good and ruining it before we even got a chance to enjoy it. I'm standing here and asking you to let me love you. You, Logan. Not Cooper."

Logan walked away.

She stood there feeling sick to her stomach. Sure that another chance for happiness had just slipped through her fingers.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

****

December 17, 2007

"What do you mean you're moving?" Cooper asked, as he sat at the counter in Kelly's diner. "When?"

"In three weeks."

"Why? Where? Are you gonna go stay with your Mom in Texas for a while?"

"I don't even think my Mom is there right now. I have no idea where she is, actually."

"Then where are you going?"

"To Princeton for the spring semester."

"You just decided this today?"

"I applied months ago."

"Did you get the letter today?"

"A few weeks ago."

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me until right now. I thought we're family, Georgie."

"I'm going to leave tomorrow and go stay with Brooke till Christmas Eve. We'll both come back for Christmas and then we're flying to Mexico for the next two weeks. I'll head to Princeton as soon as I get back. I'll make sure to say good bye before I go but I just wanted to let you know why I won't be around for the next few weeks."

"It sounds like you're doing all you can to get away from here."

"I finished up the semester. That's all I promised myself I would do and now I have. I want you to promise me you'll go and see my sister tonight at Sam's, like she asked you to, and that you'll keep a close eye on her while I'm away."

"You're doing exactly what I asked you not to do." He leaned over the counter. "You're trying to fix this for everyone but you. Do you think I can be happy if you're far away from me and miserable?"

"I won't be any more miserable than I have been here for the last couple months. He still won't come around me. I haven't even seen him in weeks."

"I can talk to him again."

"It doesn't work. I can't take this anymore."

"Damn it. He's really pissing me off with all of this. He's hurting you and its uncalled for."

"He still doesn't believe I've gotten over you."

"You have."

Her eyes held his. "Have I?"

"If you haven't...if you think you can't....tell me."

There was another long moment when their eyes were locked on each other's. For a brief second Georgie wondered what he would do if she told him she'd never be over him. Was he waiting to hear those words?

"I'm getting over you, Coop. Its just going so much slower than I want it to. Logan is no fool. You and me and Maxie can pretend my crush is long dead. He won't. I'm leaving town and I'm not coming back till I'm in love with someone else. As for you and my sister.....please stop letting anyone or anything get in your way. You two belong together."

"What broke us up is she didn't have any faith in me. I did love her. Only her. I never thought about anyone else."

"I know that."

"But she didn't believe in that. She didn't believe in me. Now its all become complicated-"

"Love is all that matters."

"Georgie-"

"Don't be late. My sister is waiting on you."

He stood up. "Please be careful on your trip."

"Please make sure the Text Message Killer doesn't get near Maxie again. And please keep Logan out of trouble."

"We'll miss you, sweetheart."

"Bye, Coop." Georgie walked into the kitchen and broke down into tears. In her mind she replayed all the moments she ever spent with Cooper, as she tried to let go of the love she felt for him...little by little, minute by minute, she did her best to fall out of love with him. From the day they met she had known that he'd never love her.

__

She was standing behind the counter at Kelly's, facing the kitchen as she refilled ketchup containers on the back counter, when she heard a deep voice say "I have a letter for Ms. Georgie Jones."

__

She turned around, not recognizing the voice because they only spoke on the phone once, but she knew him by sight. He had sent her a picture of himself, Logan, and some other guys in his unit. "Cooper."

He smiled at her. "In the flesh."

"Oh my God, Cooper! You made it here. I can't believe it." She raced out from behind the counter.

"I promised to come and see you, didn't I?"

When his arms wrapped around her she was sure she was being held by the man she'd love for all the rest of her life, then her sister walked in and the truth came out: they were sleeping together already. Cooper never knew that Maxie was Georgie's sister because Georgie just called her my sister in the letters and Maxie called Georgie the same when she told Cooper about her life. Watching Cooper and Maxie throw sensual looks at each other made Georgie's heart drop down into her stomach.

Cooper would never love her back. She knew it in that moment.

So why was it so hard to believe it still?

(I woke up this morning feeling lonely.

There's so much my heart just does not understand.

There were times when nothing really mattered.

But now I find I care too much.

There's life in everything I touch.

-

Look what love has done to us.

I'm not who I use to be.

Everything is changing.

Now we'll never be the same.

-

Look what love has done to us.) (Patty Smith)


	167. Look, 8

Note- Just one more chapter left. That will have more Coop and Georgie and one of Cooper's letters to Georgie.

**Look What Love Has Done**

**Part Eight**

**January 2008**

Mac pulled open the door of his house. "Hayes."

"Sir."

"She's leaving in ten minutes. You almost missed her."

"I'll make it quick then."

"See that you do." Mac moved out of the way and Logan walked in. "Go ahead on up to her room. It's the last one on the left. I'm gonna live in ignorant bliss and tell myself you don't know where either of my girl's bedrooms are."

With a nod, Logan took the stairs two at a time. He had told himself he was not going to track down Georgie and say good bye to her before she left for college. But, at the last minute, he found himself running to his truck and racing across town on snow slicked streets in hopes of seeing her one more time before she left for who knows how long.

He really didn't know what life would be like without even the hope of her being around anymore. The hope of making things better tomorrow.

(You've found hope.  
You've found faith.  
Found how fast she could take it away.  
Found true love.  
Lost your heart.  
Now you don't know who you are.)

The rumor was she was taking summer classes too and staying at Princeton for the next year and a half, or more. She was also planning to travel in Europe. It seemed she was bound and determination to not be around Port Charles for a good long while.

For months Logan told himself he was saving himself heartbreak by staying away from her but now he knew he had failed. His heart was broken anyway.

She was walking out of his life. Out of his world. Out of his sight. She was making herself only a memory to him.

(She made it easy.  
Made it free.  
Made you hurt til you couldn't see.

-

Sometimes it stops.  
Sometimes it flows.  
But baby that is how love goes.)

So much for saving himself heartache. His heart was aching over all they never got a chance to be. Now all he was thinking was if he had taken her to bed in October she might really be over Cooper by now, not just saying she was so Maxie wouldn't feel bad, ticked off, or guilty. So Cooper would allow himself to go back to the woman he loved most. So Logan might be fooled into believing Georgie could love him more than she did Cooper.

That she could ever see him as being as amazing as she saw Cooper.

He knocked on her door, which was opened. Her head turned. Their eyes met. Tears flooded her eyes and she looked away.

"Hey there, girl," he said, his voice thick with emotion. He closed the door and walked inside. "I heard you're leaving town for a while."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Come on, Georgie. Look at me."

Her head slowly turned. They were standing close together. He brushed away the tears on her cheeks.

(You will fly and you will crawl.  
God knows even angels fall.  
No such thing as you lost it all.  
God knows even angels fall.)

He told her "You're gonna do great at that fancy university. Its not like you can get an ivy league education around here. You're doing the right thing, doll."

"I always hated that nickname and how you used it on everyone. But I'll miss it now."

He whispered "I'll miss everything about you. Even you screaming at me."

(It's a secret no one tells.  
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.

-  
It's no fairy tale.

Take it from me,that's the way it's supposed to be.)

"Logan, I'm sorry for any pain I caused you the last few months. When Coop was hurt, that night, I was so lost. You helped me to get through and afterwards I just wanted to keep feeling like you made me feel that night....so safe and wanted. I made your life hell because I couldn't stop hoping you'd change your mind about us."

"I wanna go back in time so bad and do that."

They shared a teary kiss as her words repeated in his mind: so safe and wanted, so safe and wanted, so safe and wanted.

(You will fly and you will crawl.  
God knows even angels fall.  
No such thing as you lost it all.  
God knows even angels fall.

You laugh, you cry, no one knows why.  
Behold the thrill of it all.

.  
You're on the ride.  
You might as well open your eyes)

For a long moment she caressed the stubble on his jaw, then she stepped back. "I have to go before I miss my flight."

"Okay. You take good care of yourself."

"And you take care of Maxie and Coop for me."

"Count on it, girl. We'll all be right here when you come home to us."

"I'm not going to visit until next Christmas. It's the way it needs to be. So I guess that means whatever we could have had we won't get the chance to now. I wish it turned out different for us."

"Maybe it still can, Georgie."

"I need to leave, Logan, and a year going by will change everything. Lets just face that so we can stop dragging out the pain."

That made sense. He knew it did. It was what he had been trying to do for a couple months but suddenly the idea of forgetting her was making his lungs constrict. He didn't want to know they would never share another kiss.

"I get why you can't be here," Logan said "but I could come see you. Maybe visit you one weekend a month or something...if you wanted me to."

Her eyes searched his. "But I can't promise you how I'll feel and I know you don't want to get hurt."

"I'm already hurting, girl."

"I know and that's why I need to leave."

"If you don't want me to come see you then that's all right."

"You've been avoiding me when I'm right here in town with you."

"I know but you're gonna go off now and fall for some other guy and that will really kill me."

"Are you sure you can deal with-?"

"I'm sure I can't go a year without seeing you, Georgie. My life started for real when I moved to this town. You and everyone else here have changed me so much. We don't have anything figured out yet and if you need to go away I can understand that but....you've gotten under my skin and if you leave that ain't gonna change for me. So let me come see you and maybe we can see what this thing is between us. Just say you want that."

"I want that." She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I was so sure I had to let you go....I'm so relieved you want to hold on to me, Lo."

Their lips found each other in a sweet, soulful kiss. He was still scared she might always love Coop more than him but he was starting to feel like she was making him into a man...maybe even into a hero...and that if he became all he could be she would love him the most.

(You will fly and you will crawl.  
God knows even angels fall.  
No such thing as you lost it all.

-  
God knows even angels fall.  
Even angels fall  
Even angels fall) (Jessica Riddle)

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Late January, 2008**

**Princeton, New Jersey**

Georgie pulled open the door to her apartment after Logan knocked. She resisted the urge to throw herself in his arms. They hadn't spoken for very long on the phone when he called to ask if this was a good weekend for his first visit.

She tried not to squeal in happiness at his call or seeing him today. But it was hard to school her reaction. She knew she always went way overboard where he was concerned and she wanted to do it all better this time around. Slower. Saner.

It was just not easy. He always got her very worked up- in every good and bad way possible.

"Hi," she said. "Come on in. You should have let me picked you up from the train station. I wouldn't have minded."

"How's your new car working out for you?"

She had flown to school, had some of her belongings sent down, and bought a car. Her old one was starting to become unreliable because it was used when Mac bought it for her four years before, after she first got her license. He wanted her to have a safe vehicle since she would be far from home so she now had a newer model. The other one who be sold to help defray the expenses of upgrading. Her Dad was paying the car note.

"I love it. Want to go downstairs and check it out? I know you're into cars, right? That's what Lulu always said, at least."

"Yeah. I used to work on cars back in Texas. My Ma thought it kept me out of trouble...or more trouble."

"Just let me grab my coat and keys."

He set down his duffle bag and pulled her into his arms. "We can see your ride later. First..." he gave her a tender kiss. "Second....thanks for sticking with our plan for me to visit you."

"As if you had any doubts I would."

"You could always meet a college boy and forget about me, darlin."

Her nose brushed against his as she leaned close to him. Then Georgie whispered "No way."

They ended up going to dinner together at a Japanese steakhouse and then coming back to her place to play Wii. They were laughing and joking in her living room late into the night. For once Georgie didn't feel crazy, out of control, emotions around Logan. Usually she was either mad, frustrated or filled with longing over him. But when they were playing video games they were just friends who were having a good time.

When it hit two a.m. she said "We should probably call it a night now."

"Okay, girl."

"I was thinking we could get brunch in the morning at this place I like by the campus. They have great french toast."

"Count me in."

"Cool." After a moment she asked "You'll be okay on the couch?"

"Sure."

They shared a long heated look. "Good then, Logan."

"Night, Georgie."

She turned and headed for her bedroom. When she reached the door she looked over her shoulder at him for another long, hunger filled moment, then she went inside.

A minute later there was a knock on the door. She grabbed a sheet and pillow she had laying on the end of her bed, that she had put out for him to use, and then opened the door again. "Sorry I forgot-"

Logan drug her against his body, smashing the linens between them, and crashed his mouth down onto hers. By the time he pulled away she was stunned and barely knew where she was or who she was.

He took the sheet and pillow. "Thanks, doll," then he walked into the living room. Georgie closed the door and then lay on the bed, with a smile on her face.

Her and Logan were not moving at the speed she wanted to after their desperate kisses in the chapel, but they were moving at just the perfect speed for them. Because this way she wasn't using him to forget Cooper and he wasn't hurting inside because he knew what she was up to.

They were meeting in the middle finally. And the middle was a very sexy, healing, beautiful place for them.


	168. Look, the end

**Note**- Thanks for reading about Glo. Thank you to Hrhcole for the idea behind this fic.

****

Look What Love Has Done

Part Nine

Late August 2009

"Hey, doll, I got to go pick up Tina from band practice," Logan said as he headed the door of their house.

It was Georgie's first day being back in Port Charles. The living room was filled with boxes. She was excited to finally be moving in with her boyfriend.

"Okay. Bring back dinner because the idea of cooking after traveling all day is not sounding like a good one to me."

"Got it. Eli's?"

"Oh my God, Eli's. I missed that so much!"

"I'll take that as a yes."

She smiled at him. "Tell your sister I said hi and that I want to see her soon."

"We'll have everyone over once you get settled in."

"Okay."

The idea of sleeping tonight with him in their bed in their house was completely mind blowing to her. Her body heated up just thinking about it. Their relationship grew slowly after she went to Princeton. First he visited once a month for three months, and they didn't talk on the phone in between, then they started to e-mail more and share their feelings in words, then they had one five hour phone conversation that revealed all of their hearts to each other. The next time he visited they slept together. Not long after that summer came and he asked if he could spend it with her there. That summer cemented their love and made it so they both knew they would one day get married. She left for Europe in the fall and then spent another semester at Princeton- while Logan stayed in Port Charles because Lucy came down with cancer. Tina and Serena needed him. He picked up the slack with taking care of his youngest sister. It had been a long time now since he hated Scott. Not that they didn't bitch at each other. But it was loving bitching, not anger filled.

Georgie spent the last eight weeks in Asia on a school trip.

Now she was finally home with Logan again and they were ready to try living together. He was the one who visited her most at Princeton but Maxie, Spinelli and Brooklyn also made it down there to see Georgie. She only came home at Christmas- just like she planned.

Cooper was seeing Julia in Virginia and Georgie made sure she left before he came back. Just in case. He didn't write her any letters when she was away. She would have loved if he did but it wasn't something either wanted to risk.

She treasured his letters from Iraq. But they had to move on. She felt like she finally had. It was just hard to not talk to Cooper for so long.

He was a part of her. Her family. She missed him. She was banking on the fact that when she saw him again the old feelings of deep, abiding devotion had faded into a more subtle familial love. She was engaged to Logan now.

It would be the worst betrayal to look into Cooper's eyes and still see the man she wanted to marry. It couldn't happen. She prayed it didn't. Because she didn't think Logan could handle knowing her heart was still divided, or that Maxie could, or that she could.

She needed to be past Cooper. She felt like she was but she wouldn't know for sure till she looked into his eyes.

Georgie was unpacking boxes when she found the cigar box- left at Mac's house by her uncle Robert after he came to town during the bio-toxin crisis- that Georgie had put Cooper's letters inside of. Taking them she sat on the couch.

She hadn't looked at these letters in more than a year. Georgie opened one and read. She could hear Cooper's deep, soothing voice in her head.

* * *

**September 20th 2006**

Dear Georgie,

How are you?

Thank you for telling me in your last letter that you are keeping Logan and I in your prayers. That means a lot to both of us. We could use all the prayers we could get.

I'm keeping you in my prayers too. In fact, you are in my thoughts a lot these days.

What your husband did to you was so wrong. That guy lost a good woman, a good wife, and a good friend. You didn't deserve to be mistreated. Nothing you did with Diego or Sage or Lulu or anyone else you have told me about means you deserved to be cheated on. It is his loss.

I hope you are getting through this okay. Because someone as sweet as you shouldn't have to cry over a man who never saw what he had in you. You're amazing. You'll find love again and it will be so much deeper and better. I promise you that you will not always feel like you feel today.

Its not that I speak from experience. I guess you could say that I've never been in love. Not the kind where you want to marry the person, like you did with Dillon. But I know that love isn't about pain. Its about making each other's life better.

Getting these letters from you makes my life a lot better. They always cheer me up and remind me why I'm over here. So you can stay safe over there. I wouldn't be able to get through this without your letters. I've grown to rely on you so much now.

I will keep my promise to you and come and see you just as soon as I'm back on American soil. Stay strong till then. Forget about that ex and don't even speak to him. He messed up. Not you.

When I can't take this place anymore I think about you and I like to think of you as being happy. So smile, Georgie. Be the way I imagine you. That would help me out a lot.

Today we had to go out into the city. The kids are all so poor, scared and sad. They need so much. I wish I had a way to help them. We are supposed to be reassuring them that we are friendly and there to help. But their whole city is destroyed. Their lives are turned upside down.

It puts in perspective my life. I used to think that I had it bad because I had to go to boarding school or take piano lessons or learn French. I hated school and I always felt like my life sucked. Now I see that I had it really good as a kid. Better than these kids ever will. When I come home I want to not go back to being so unappreciative of all I had. I hope I can hold on to the memory of these kids and remember I'm the lucky one.

The fact that you take time to write me makes me feel real lucky too. I know you have better things to do with your day but you are faithful to your commitment to send me letters. You make this easier to survive.

I look forward to meeting you. The guys in my unit all went nuts over your picture. I had to put it away because they were getting the wrong idea about me and you. Thanks for sending that picture. It helps to know what you look like when I think about you being there and being happy.

Don't waste your time on anger and regrets. Just put Dillon in your past. You're going to have a great future. Focus on that.

January 2007.

I'll be there in Port Charles and we can have coffee together. Save the date.

Your friend now and forever,

_SPC Cooper H. Barrett_

* * *

Georgie heard a knock on the door. She set down the letter and walked over there. Looking out the window she saw Coop standing there.

She let out a long breath.

Coop was no longer with Maxie. Georgie felt like they really did belong together but life was getting in their way. She always said prayers- on the Sundays she made it to church, which wasn't every one but she tried to go when she could- that somehow Maxie and Cooper would find their way to each other again.

They had reunited at Christmas in 2007 and lasted till summer but they fell apart again over jealousy. Maxie started to believe Cooper was interested in Leyla Mir. He never dated her but Maxie moved on to Johnny. Later Cooper had a short fling with Serena.

Georgie only knew this from Spinelli telling her. She didn't talk to Lulu anymore. Dillon and Brooklyn didn't live in Port Charles. Maxie didn't ever tell an unedited, unexaggerated version of events and Georgie never brought up Coop's love life to Logan. They talked about Coop but in a shallow way.

It wasn't how Georgie wanted it and she hoped that now she was home it would all change. They would become the family she always prayed they could be.

With her mom still missing in action it became more and more important for Georgie to have her family of friends around here to keep her strong.

Georgie pulled open the door. "Hi! Logan went out to pick up Tina from school and run her home. He should be back soon though, if you want to wait."

"I came by to see you."

She gave him a small smile. A long moment passed.

Cooper stood there stiffly, his eyes searching hers. "Can I come in?"

As soon as he was inside she found herself hugging him. "I missed you."

It felt good to be in his arms. Right. Safe. He said, gruffly, "It wasn't the same without you around here."

Georgie looked up at him. "I won't leave again. I'm home for good."

"Good."

He let her go.

She asked "This is a great house Logan found, isn't it? He's really put so much work into it. I know you helped out with that. Thanks."

"Scott pitched in too." He stood there, uncomfortably, shifting around from foot to foot. "Georgie-"

"Want to sit down? Come on. I'll clear a spot on the couch." Her boxes were everywhere.

He sat down. He saw the letter laying there and picked it up. His eyes went from the letter to her.

She said "I haven't looked at them in a while but I was unpacking and found them."

"I purposefully came here when I knew Logan had to pick up Tina at this time."

"If your friendship with Logan suffered because of me and my crush-" Georgie thought that Logan and Cooper were on good terms but now she was wondering if Logan kept it from her that things had always stayed tense. She prayed that wasn't the case.

Cooper interrupted her and said "I've promised him that I will never cross the line with you."

"I know you won't. I trust you, Cooper, almost more than anybody else I know. I have complete faith in you. I hope you can have that kind of trust and faith in me again one day. I'm not the child I was when I left."

"You weren't a child back then. Your feelings meant something. They weren't just a stupid crush. Not to me."

"Thank you for saying that."

"I'm so honored that you fell in love with me."

"It would have been simpler if I didn't. We could have still talked after I left for school if I didn't have all those confusing feelings-"

"I wouldn't wish away you loving me for anything."

"You're just being nice, Coop. You know it made our lives too messy. It hurt Maxie and maybe it even led to the jealousy she always felt. She never aimed that at me but maybe I was the real cause of it. Her thinking that I had a connection with you she could never have. If that's true I am so sorry because you should be as happy as I am with Logan. You and Maxie should be married by now. Its so wrong that you two are broken up."

"You shouldn't feel bad about that. The break up came from mine and Maxie's problem. Saying you caused it is just wrong. You were no where in that relationship. You left and you gave us our chance. We wasted it away. I'm here to let you know that I respect the fact that you are engaged to Logan. I'll be at the wedding. I'll be the godfather to your kids. I'll do everything Logan is expecting. Because I love you both. But when it comes to me and you....when it comes to our letters.....you need to stop thinking it was one-sided. Before I moved here.....I would dream of you, Georgie. Dream about us together."

She gave him a very sweet smile. Her heart soared to know that, years before, she had been his crush.

"And then you met Maxie."

Coop smiled and chuckled. "Yeah."

"And you found the woman who you will always love."

His face grew more serious. "Its over with her."

"You're on a break."

"I don't think so. Not this time."

"I know so."

Cooper smiled. "We'll see, I guess."

"My sister might say she doesn't like marriage or commitment or the idea of settling down but I think she would like it...if it was all with you."

"I offered her all that before."

"She wasn't ready."

"And she still isn't."

"So wait for her."

"I tell myself that it would be stupid to do that."

"Love always makes people feel stupid."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

They smiled at each other.

**THE END**

**Note**- **Specialist** (abbreviated "**SPC**") is one of the four junior enlisted ranks in the US Army just above Private First Class and equivalent in pay grade to Corporal. Unlike Corporals, Specialists are not considered junior non-commissioned officers (NCO).

New recruits enlisting into the United States Army who have earned a four-year degree, and as of 2006 those with civilian-acquired job skills, will enter as a Specialist.- from Wikipedia


	169. Sunlight in Your Universe, Jomax

For poeticgrace, who wrote a fantastic fic about this pairing a while back. If you like Jomax then check out her story. I haven't written Jomax in a while. Hopefully this couple has fans still.

**Sunlight in Your Universe **

**Maxie and Johnny, canon. **

**Based on The Carnival storyline in September 2009.**

**Part One **

Sometimes life is divided into before and after. For Maxie Jones this seems to happen over and over. _Before_ her Mom dated Luke. _Before_ Luis kidnaped Maxie and her little sister. _Before_ Kyle. _Before_ Zander. _Before _the carnival that took away Jesse._ Before _she lost her faith in Lucky. _Before_ the vault. _Before _the sex bet. _Before_ the Text Message Killer_. Before_ Logan went crazy. _Before_ Spinelli was more than just the guy who annoyed her with his tech talk.

Before. Before. Before.

_Before_ Johnny was shot in a botched hit ordered by his deranged father. Now she is living in the after of that moment. Her head is spinning and her feet are moving of their own accord.

She blabbered something to Spinelli and Sam about having to get into work (which Sam will know is a lie because right before Spinelli walked in Maxie told her that she had a big night planned for her and Spinelli but it doesn't matter if Sam knows or even if she tells Spinelli that Maxie lied. Nothing matters if Johnny dies).

Her feet carried her to the hallway in Harborview Towers, onto the elevator, and out the front door, where she hailed a cab, ignoring her own car parked in the parking garage. She couldn't think straight. She couldn't do anything but move.

She had to see Johnny.

Georgie was gone. Cooper was gone. Her birth parents might as well be dead. Felicia and Frisco were as good as gone. Those losses had shook Maxie to her core. Made her want to be different and feel safe. Made her want to wrap herself in a security blanket. Spinelli was that for her and she loved him for being that. He was a great friend. Maybe the best friend she ever had. Because he never set out to hurt her and he wanted to take care of her forever. He was_ safe_.

As Maxie rushes into Mercy Hospital she doesn't care about safe anymore. She doesn't even care if Spinelli hates her guts. She doesn't care about the ring on her finger. She doesn't care about security, right, wrong, promises, the wedding that is being planned.

All she can think is: Johnny could die today.

Her mind flashes back to a moment in his garage months before. _"Why did you sleep with Olivia? I thought you liked me?"_

For a second she is in that moment again, staring up into his dark, brooding eyes.

His lips crash down on hers and the moment changes from what really happened. It becomes what she ached for most back then. Him to just take control and take her.

_Their clothes fall off and they start to make love against a broken down car. _

"_I do like you," he says, in a throaty, teasing tone, against her ear._

_Maxie giggles in relief as she clutches onto him. Then she moans as he slowly fills her, invading her body in the most intensely pleasurable way. This time she won't have to fake her orgasm like she's had to with other guys in the past._

_Only when its over and they are both sweaty and laughing does Olivia walk in. Maxie winks at her over Johnny's shoulder_.

"Can you tell me what room John Zaccahara is in?" Maxie asks the nurse behind the desk in the emergency room.

"Are you family?"

"I'm his...he's my husband...I'm his wife." The lie falls easily. She always been such a good liar.

The nurse gives her a sympathetic look and then tells her the room number. Maxie's heels echo on the floor as she rushes to the elevator; her hands shaking, her chest heaving, her eyes wide and filled with fear.

When she gets to his room Claudia is there with him. Maxie tries to give them privacy, as she sucks in a huge gulp of air, content to just soak in the image of Johnny laying in that bed breathing. Her hand covers her heart. She stumbles back from the door but bumps someone walking by, causing them to say "Sorry, miss."

Claudia looks toward her. "John, look who came to see you."

His voice is weak and shaky when he tries to lift his head. Confusion in his tone over why Claudia would seem almost friendly. "Olivia?"

Maxie scurries into the room, stopping halfway to the bed. "No. Its me."

He lays back. Shadows cloud his eyes. She can see so much in that gesture. He's still hurt she didn't choose him last winter. Still trying to understand how all they discovered together ended up meaning nothing at all. And even as he feels all that he tries to push it aside and be strong for her.

"Hey," Johnny says. "I'm all right. You didn't have to come all the way over here."

"Oh! Good! I'm glad you're okay. I didn't come here to see you. I was looking for Spinelli."

Claudia's eyes darkens and she snaps. "Well he's not here. So if that's all you wanted then run on off to find him and leave my brother to recover in peace." Her eyes move down to Maxie's hand "By the way, nice ring," she snarls at her.

Johnny warns his sister "Claudia...come on...lay off her. Can you..give us a minute?"

"John!" Claudia cries "You need me here."

"Just a minute."

Claudia sighs. She stands up and looks at Johnny for a long moment, then flips her hair over her shoulder and brushes past Maxie.

Maxie moves over to the bed. The image of him laying there is terrifying. She can't stand to see people she loves hurt. "You saved Spinelli today. Thank you."

"Is that why you're here? To thank me?"

In a rush of terrified words she tells him "You shouldn't try to play hero!"

"I thought you like heroes?" He lets out a weak, ache filled breath "Maybe I did this.... so you'll like me more."

"Don't say that."

His eyes soften. "I did this..... because Spinelli is a good friend to me and I....don't got...many of those."He winces in pain. "Not that I've been a good friend back."

"You saved his life tonight."

"I wasn't looking to die for him."

"You stood up for him at Jake's when Matt was picking on him."

"And I tried to sleep with the woman.... he loves. Do you....think...he'd...call it even?"

"Spinelli isn't mad about that anymore."

"Good." Johnny's eyes move away from her. "You should....get home. Claudia....will be back."

"Where's Olivia? I thought you two were together? Shouldn't she be here? Is she off with Sonny?"

"Don't start....with that."

"She should be with you if she loves you."

"Its not...like that...with me and her, Maxie."

Her eyes search his. She can't understand him and Olivia. How he can screw her when he was supposed to have feelings for Maxie? Sometimes she wonders if Johnny just used her to get away from Lulu and other times she wonders if she hurt Johnny so bad that he ran to Olivia to forget Maxie. What's the truth? Or is it somewhere in the middle? Does it even matter? Maxie is wearing Spinelli's ring now. In a few weeks she will be his bride...his wife.

Even though it feels all wrong.

Maxie whispers, as her hand takes hold of his, "What's it like then?"

"Johnny!" Olivia runs in the door.

Maxie looks at her and then she lets go of Johnny's hand. "I'm glad you're okay." She leaves without looking back and promptly runs into Claudia.

They fight about why Maxie is letting that Bensonhurst bitch steal Johnny away from her. Maxie leaves Mercy hospital shaking, just like how she walked in there earlier tonight.

Standing outside, with the night breeze rushing over her skin, the sound of sirens in the air, memories rush through her mind. All her life. All the before moments. All the after moments.

And here she is alone again.

Johnny didn't die. Spinelli wants to marry her. She's getting her happy ending finally. And still it feels all wrong.

Her mind gets stuck on another moment with Johnny. During the snowstorm they were stuck together in his garage, playing with fire, tempting fate. Drinking beer and thinking about having sex with each other.

In her head she doesn't pull back this time. Their kisses explode into something completely wild and untamed. Something that makes her feel right instead of so damn wrong.

(If I could change the world

I would be the

sunlight in your universe.

-

You would think my love was really

something good.

-

Baby if I could

change the world.

-

Baby if I could

change the world.

-

Baby if I could

change

the world.) (Eric Clapton)


	170. Sunlight, Jomax, the end

**Sunlight in Your Universe **

**Maxie and Johnny, canon. **

**Based on The Carnival storyline.**

**Part Two**

He is damn lucky to be walking out of Mercy hospital and John Zacchara knows it. Its been nearly two weeks since he was shot up in a warehouse all because his father is a maniac.

John is sick of being cooped up in the hospital with only Claudia and occasionally Jason Morgan stopping by for company. His sister can drive him up the wall (though he loves her like crazy) and Jason doesn't really do chit chat.

Some of the lonely times when John was stuck in the hospital bed, feeling like a prisoner, he wanted to call Olivia and tell her to come over. She was a good woman. She cared about him.

So why did he tell her that this brush with death made him decide they were better off as friends?

Because the first night he was in the hospital Maxie came to see him. She was holding his hand and in walked Olivia. The truth slapped Johnny in the face.

If Maxie wanted him then he wouldn't think twice about ditching Olivia.

Knowing that, in the front of his brain and not just buried deep in his heart like it had been before that moment, made it clear he had to let Olivia go. To keep using her would be cruel. So many times he behaved like a bastard in the past but he never liked being that way.

Maybe if he could just embrace those baser instincts he'd be happier but he always turned away from that part of himself. It was too much like his father.

The father who was so insane he tried to kill Johnny when he was eight years old.

And being anything at all like Anthony is the last thing Johnny wants to end up. So he tries to play noble. He makes sacrifices. He lets what he wants get away from him over and over again.

He knows he wants Maxie. He's known it for a long ass time. But he lets her go because, at first, he had Lulu to consider. Lulu with her mental problems that Johnny might have caused or exacerbated. And then later because of Spinelli. Spinelli who was a good guy and wanted to be Johnny's friend.

With friends like Johnny, so eager to steal away the chick you love, who needed enemies?

But Johnny was being a good buddy to Spinelli now. He was leaving Maxie alone and he was doing all he could to make it up to Spinelli. For all the good it did Johnny.

He was lonely. Ticked off that he felt that way. That he needed someone to love him so bad. Pissed that it ended this way. Pissed that Maxie was scared of loving him back.

John really didn't want to go to Maxie's wedding next week but it looked like he had no choice. It would be a good way to show Spinelli how okay Johnny was with what happened.

He'd smile and say "Congratulations, man. I'm happy for you both." Total bullshit. Johnny's speciality. He spent everyday lying in some way and had for as long as he could remember.

As he was walking through the emergency room at Mercy hospital a nurse said to him "I'm glad to see you made a full recovery."

"Thanks," he said, though he didn't recognize her as one of the nurses who took care of him.

"Your wife must be thrilled. She was a wreck when she came here the night you were brought in. She really loves you."

"I think you mean my girlfriend. Brown hair and eyes? About this tall?"

"No. She had blonde hair. Skinny little thing. She said she was Mr. Zacchara's wife. I'm sorry. I should have asked for identification."

"That's okay. Don't worry about it."

XXXXXXXXX

Johnny knows he is flirting with disaster. He should leave Maxie the hell alone. That is the stand up guy thing to do.

But he's not a stand up guy. He's a selfish bastard and he's going to her apartment to hash this out with her. The same place where his ex-girlfriend lives.

See? That proves it.

If Johnny was nice and noble, deep down inside, he would never go to Lulu's home looking for Maxie. He would steer clear of Lulu and hang his head when she came around. He tried doing that for months. Being sorry and pitiful.

Now its time for a new plan. Angry and demanding.

He knocks on Maxie's door. Its around seven pm. She should be home from work but maybe not with the crazy schedule that Kate keeps her on.

After a minute there is no answer so he knocks again, harder. His blood is boiling and all he hears in his head, over and over, is one word. Wife. Wife. Wife.

He hears someone moving around. When the door is yanked open Maxie is standing there in a towel. The sight of her slightly wet skin takes his breath away.

Happily she says, in a surprised tone, "You're out of the hospital!"

She says this as if he was supposed to die because everyone dies on her.

"Wife?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. "Why the hell would you tell anybody, let alone a nurse at a hospital, that you are my wife. Huh? Can you tell me that? When you're about to be some other guy's wife. That's just fucked up, Maxie."

"Don't get attitude with me. I've had a lousy month and I don't need you making it worse." She turns and heads back into the apartment, down the hall, disappears inside of her room and slams the door.

Johnny lets out a long breath. He closes and locks the apartment door and then heads down the hall. "Maxie...Maxie...come back out," he hates how his voice can actually become pleading sometimes.

He shouldn't have to beg. He's John Zacchara and he was born to take what he wants. But he never does. And that's why he hates himself so much sometimes. And why his life usually sucks.

"Maxie," his voice grows frustrated. "I'm not leaving till we get this figured out. Why the hell did you come to the hospital to see me that night and say you're my wife? That night.....you gave a damn...but ever since then nothing....so I lived and that's it, huh? You're back to Spinelli again. How's the wedding planning going? Good? Great!"

He storms back to the living room and starts to pace the floor. A part of him wants to just let her be happy with Spinelli but the other part of him is desperate. Like claws scrapping over his guts he feels like he is being torn apart as he thinks about her marrying some other guy. Even a good guy. Even Johnny's so-called buddy.

Frustrated and annoyed at himself, her and the situation Johnny screams out her name "Maxie! Get your ass out here! I don't care if you're dressed or not. Just come out here and talk to me."

He lets out a breath. It hisses through his teeth.

She's gonna marry Spinelli. No matter what he says. Johnny knows it. He's always known it. He just doesn't know why he had to fall for her after she was so broken. When she couldn't take the risk on him.

It used to be Johnny who pushed Maxie away. As he hid in the relationship that was supposed to be his whole world. His sanity. Until he couldn't hide anymore. But then it was too late.

Maxie wasn't the girl in the bikini playing games. She wasn't straddling his lap in the middle of her job. She wasn't dancing with him at the Ball when anything could happen still.

She was damaged. She was wrecked. She was done with hope. Johnny wanted her too late to get her.

Maybe it became too late the second Georgie took her last breath. A year later Johnny was finally ready for the wild blonde who wasn't his path to salvation and sanity.

She was part of a wild road to God knows where. She was dangerous and intense and could break him apart. A complete rush. A complete risk.

They could be so good together. But she never wanted to chance it. And so Johnny let her go because he understood what it was like to be afraid of walking into the dark.

He was here today though because he hadn't really let her go in his heart. He needed her to know that before she said I do to Spinelli.

When she finally came out of the bedroom she was wearing a dark blue dress, high heels, had her make-up and hair done. No wonder Johnny felt like he was coming out of his skin. She kept him waiting over twenty minutes.

He spat at her "Don't you ever tell anyone you're my wife again."

"Oh, get over it. It was no big deal."

He scoffed. "No big deal? Being someone's wife isn't a joke. I doubt Spinelli would find it funny to hear you said that."

"It was the best way to get in to see you. Everyone knows your family and they know I'm not your sister." She shrugged. "It didn't hurt anything so why freak out like this?"

"I'm not freaking out and it could have hurt Olivia to hear you say that."

"What is the deal with you and her anyway? Kinda gross, isn't it?"

"Maxie," he said, in a warning tone.

She smirked "She's like my Dad's age."

"No, she's not."

"Damn close."

"It doesn't matter how old she is. That wasn't why I was with her."

"I'm just saying what could you two have in common but sex?"

He stared at her for a long moment.

Maxie chuckled. "Thought so. Nothing."

"I'm not with her anymore so drop it."

"You're not? Since when?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that you can't play games anymore with me. If you're marrying Spinelli then marry him and be 100 percent with him!" He was screaming and he knew he was losing it but he felt so much and it hurt so bad, he just couldn't be calm. "If not....leave him and get with me. But whatever you do DO IT! Don't come running to check on me at the hospital and say you're my wife. That's not cool. I don't want you messing with my head."

"Its not like I even thought you were gonna hear about that so how was I messing with your head? I just wanted to know if you were dead or alive."

"I'm alive for what that's worth," he grumbled.

She walked close to him. Her eyes searched his.

He whispered, his voice hoarse, "Don't marry him."

Maxie froze. After a moment the slightest smile curved her lips. "Hmm? What was that? I don't think I heard you right."

"I'm out of here." He headed for the door.

Maxie hurried after him and grabbed his arm, turning him back around. "Oh stop being melodramatic!"

"Whatever. Marry him. Do what you want. Whatever, Maxie."

"I called the wedding off weeks ago."

"What?"

"Its for the best. Spinelli and I are better as friends. He's my essential person and marriage would just ruin our bond."

Johnny swallows hard. "So you're still with him?"

"He wants some space from me. Sometimes I have to fight hard to stop myself from going over to his place and beating down the door but I do. He deserves his space. Don't worry I didn't mention your name when I broke it off with him."

"Did it have anything to do with me?"

Maxie turns away, fretting. "It had to do with everything. Reality. Spinelli and I just couldn't work as husband and wife. Everyone knows that! But him. But now he knows too."

Johnny rubs her arms as he presses against her from behind. "That's a bad break for Spinelli."

"I feel horrible about it."

Johnny leans over and brushes his lips against her ear. "I don't. Best news I've heard all year."

A small smile curves her lips. She spins around and brings her mouth to his. Soon they fall back on the couch together, kissing like two oxygen starved people who are finding air in each other. Johnny jerks back, wincing. "Sorry. I'm still pretty banged up."

"Its okay. You didn't die and that's all that matters."

A grin sneaks onto his lips. He's damn happy he lived to see this day.

THE END


	171. The Around the Way Girl, Brooklyn Dante

**For cocoabean2206 who likes this pairing.**

**Storyline note- **Dante was going to have to have a transplant and Olivia was breaking down but then, for this story, he had a surgery to repair his kidneys instead. If that succeeds he won't need a transplant.

**The Around The Way Girl**

**Dante and Brooklyn **

**September 2009**

**Part One**

"I died and went to heaven," Dante said groggily, right after groaning, when he woke up from his surgery and saw Brooklyn sitting by his bed. "And man oh man are the angels hot."

Tears stung her eyes. She had been soaking in the sight of him while he was under anesthesia but now that he was awake she jerked her eyes off him.

Dante struggled to sit up. Brooklyn immediately hurried to touch his arms and force him to stay laying down, as she said, "Don't try and be a tough guy. Just relax. You just had a five hour surgery."

"And boy are my arms tired."

She rolled her eyes, knowing he was doing the punch line for the tired old joke "I just flew in from Jersey," or wherever.

"My Ma called you," Dante said, as he tired to get comfortable in bed, moaning and groaning from the incision in his side.

"He gets it on the first try."

"You shouldn't be here."

"Either should you."

Their eyes held for a long time.

"I have a job to do. So do you. Go do it," his tone held the slightest traces of bitterness to it.

They hadn't been a couple in six months. She told him she had to focus on her career. But the truth was that their relationship got too intense for her too quick and she had freaked out. Brooklyn could see having kids with Dante down the road. She was laying in his arms naked dreaming about that while at the same time she had been thinking about how no marriage she ever knew ever worked out. Why even dream? Why even love? Why even believe?

She pulled away because she was scared of her feelings for this man. They didn't talk after the day she broke up with him. The next time she heard his name it was Olivia saying it, as her voice broke on the phone. Brooklyn had known Olivia all her life and Olivia had been the biggest supporter of Brooklyn and Dante dating. She thought that her son finally settled down with a woman who would be right for him and do right by him. But less than three months later Brooklyn was off on her tour and Dante had a broken heart.

Brooklyn said "Your Ma needs me here."

"My Ma will get by all right. The big bad crisis is over and hey, look at me, good as new. Sexy as ever."

All she could see was how his skin was ashen and the IVs in his skin and the machines monitoring him. She hadn't taken one breath that wasn't painful since Olivia called her and she didn't know when she would again.

"You worry me as much as ever, that's for sure. What happened to you trans-"

"Hey! Shhh!"

She leaned closer and whispered "What happened to you transferring to vice?"

"Vice ain't playing fiddlesticks either, Brookie. Didn't you ever watch Miami Vice? Its a jungle out there."

She leaned back, letting out a sigh. "I should have figured that was just sweet talking by a sweet talker in the sack and not what you really planned to do."

He said "Our deal crapped out when you walked out on me."

"Well I'm here now."

"And you need to go now."

"Forget about it," she said, with lots of attitude.

"Forget about it," he said, accentuating their shared Brooklyn accent, as he made a face at her.

She made a face back.

Sonny walked in. "Brooklyn?"

She pasted a smile on. "Sonny," she said, as she rose and hugged him. "Ma sends her love."

"What are you doing here? You two....you know each other from the neighborhood?"

Dante smiled at him. "All the cuties know me. I made sure of that much. Am I right, Brooke, or am I right?"

"Yeah, you're right, Dominic."

Sonny smiled at Brooke. "You look like you're doing well. Are you good?"

"Sure."

"Good. Good. Glad to hear it. So....what...you came all the way up here to see your friend?"

Dante butted in, jokingly, "She has a little crush on me! I usually go for blondes though so sorry, baby, but you wasted a trip."

Brooklyn shot him a harsh look. Then she said to Sonny. "We're actually engaged."

"Engaged?" Sonny asked, happily. "Oh man, why didn't I know that? You're holding out on me, Perilli. Keeping secrets. This young woman here is mi familia. You should have said something when you came asking about a job. Now it makes sense why you wanted to switch sides."

Dante said "I didn't want special treatment. I wanted to earn my spot on my own merits," he ground out. and then said to Brooklyn "Baby, you shouldn't have spilled like that." He forced a laugh. "Your just as bad at keeping secrets as your cousin Carmen."

Brooklyn smirked back at him. "Forgive me, baby?"

"Always, baby," he said back.

Sonny chuckled. "Well, congratulations. We'll have to have an engagement party. Get your Ma up here, Brooklyn, and do it up big. Sound good?"

"Sounds great," Brooklyn said. "Thank you, Sonny."

"You're family." Sonny walked closer to Dante. "And now you're family too. You saved my son...you risked your life...you're engaged to Brooklyn. You wanted in. Well, you're in now. You're blood now, Dominic. Don't betray that."

"I never would, sir."

"Good. Good. Call me Sonny. We're family." Sonny grinned at both of them. "Well, I got to go and see about Johnny. You know he got shot, don't you?"

"What?" Dante asked "No. What went down?"

"We'll talk when you're feeling better. Don't concern yourself about Johnny. He pulled through and its being handled." Sonny headed for the door, stopping to kiss Brooke's cheek. "You look beautiful, really. All grown up. Make sure you stop by my house and see the kids. Michael is driving now, can you believe it?"

"Its a miracle. I kept him in my prayers when he was in the coma."

"And God heard you, Brooke." Sonny grinned and then said to Dante. "Get better. I need you back on the job. Your one of my best guys."

"Thanks, Sonny. I'm raring to get back out there."

Sonny chuckled. "Just like I was when I got started. Nothing could keep me down." To Brooke he said "You make sure he gets back to full strength before he comes back.'

"You can count on that," Brooke said.

"Good. Good. All right. I got to get over to Mercy to see about Zacchara."

When Sonny was gone, Brooklyn closed the door, as Dante nearly jumped out of the bed with his frantic antics. He hissed "Engaged? Really? Why not just tell him we got five kids too?! What are you doing?"

"Protecting you."

"My Ma shouldn't have called you. I know what I'm doing."

"And I know what I'm doing. Till you're done in this town I'm going to be everywhere you are. You better get used to this face."

"Brooke," he groaned as he flopped back against the pillows.

"Dommy."

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, how about Pirelli? I'm running out of choices here."

"I'm gonna kill my Ma for siccing you on me."

"That's no way to act when I just did you the favor of your life." She walked over and sat next to the bed. "Besides the last time you saw me you were pretty insistent you wanted to see more of me....where's the love, baby?"

"I knew better than to fall for a girl from the neighborhood. All chutzpuh and hairspray. Go home."

"Go home," she mocked his whining tone. "I don't think you mean that. That's male pride talking."

"I'm serious."

She mocked him "I'm serious."

"Brook-"

"Brooke."

He made an annoyed face at her and she made the same face back.


	172. DAB 2

_**Note-**__siddity means uppity, acting like you are better than someone else._

**The Around The Way Girl**

**Dante and Brooklyn**

**September 2009**

**Part Two**

"I could have you arrested," Dante told Brooklyn.

"Mmm-hmmm. Sure you could."

"Like that." He snapped his fingers.

"Mmm-hmmm. Right."

"The headlines would really tick your agent off."

"All press is good press. Should I call TMZ?"

Dante's head hurt and it wasn't because he just woke up after having surgery to repair his kidneys. It was because Brooklyn Ashton decided to thrust herself right in the middle of his investigation.

He loved this woman but really...really...she was driving him nuts right about now. The most frustrating part was he knew she wouldn't leave no matter what he said.

For months he wanted to see her again. But tonight was not the night for some big reunion like he actually dreamed about when he fell asleep more times than he would ever say aloud. During the day he tried not to think of her at all. He had given up on her, cause she gave up on him, but he wasn't happy about it. He wanted her back but he forced himself to not call her or e-mail or text her. He threw himself in his new case and made that his life.

He even flirted with Lulu. She was close to Sonny, cause she's related to his ex-wife, and close to Jason, through the ex-wife again and through Spinelli, so she was just the girl to get Dante closer to them too. And she was hot. And she hadn't dumped him for her career like Brooke did.

"Getting mouthy with a man who is on his sick bed is not cute, just so you know, Brookie."

"Writing checks your ass can't cash isn't helpful, just so you know."

He groaned again and shook his head in dismay. "What?! What do you think you're gonna do by being here?"

"Help."

"You can't help. You don't have the training for this."

"Bensonhurst was my training."

"Are you kidding me with this right now?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding? Look at you....are you kidding me with this? A gun shot wound and hit by a car in three months time. You need me around."

"You see I'm fine. Go do your Britney thing."

She glared at him. "You'll pay for that comment when you feel better."

Dante knew he shouldn't have said that. Not only did Brooklyn consider that the worse insult ever-though Dante thought Britney had the MILF thing going on and her music wasn't half bad for being played in a club- it also only made Dante remember when they were rolling around his bed together. He had jokingly called her Britney Spears and she started wrestling him and beating him playfully and ordering him to "Take it back or die!" He had flipped her on her back, kissed her, and they started to make love.

He shook his head to clear the image from his mind.

"I feel right as rain already," he lied to her, trying to look tough so she would think he didn't need her around. He sat up a little straight, let out a loud yelp of pain that caused Brooke to jump out of her seat, and a monitor to go off.

"Dante!" she cried

"SHHHHH! OWWWW! Oh shit."

"I'm getting a doctor!"

Just then Epiphany came hurrying in. "What's going on here? Only family is supposed to be in here." She moved close to Dante and pressed a button on the machine. "You pulled off your heart monitor. Are you in pain?"

"No," Dante said quickly.

"Yes, he is," Brooklyn said.

Epiphany looked between then. "Which one is it?"

"I'm fit as a fiddle and ready to fly this chicken coop any minute now."

Brooklyn said "He's just trying to be macho."

Dante grimaced. "I'm not being macho. I'm cool."

Epiphany said "We can increase your meds to ease the pain. You just have to be honest about your level of discomfit." She looked at Brooke. "You'll have to come back during regular visiting hours."

"I'm Brooklyn Ashton. Maybe you remember me? I volunteered here for a while. My Grandmother and Great Grandfather are on the board."

"That's nice for them. Good night," Epiphany said. "This patient needs his rest and visiting hours are over."

Dante said "Can't you bend the rules just a teeny tiny bit just this one itty bitty time?"

"No."

He went on "I get it. Bend them for one person and you gotta bend them for everyone. Sorry, Brookie, you got to hit the road."

Brooklyn said "I don't mean to cause trouble-"

"Good then don't, Ms. Ashton," Epiphany said.

"But I will raise a fuss if I have to," Brooklyn said. "Like my Ma always taught me you don't get no where but not opening your mouth and making some demands."

"You feel free to make demands but I'll feel free to call security."

Dante said "Whoa, ladies, lets not fight over me. There is enough Dominic to go around." He looked at Epiphany "You wanna know how it is?"

"No, not really. I just want your visitor to obey the hospital rules."

Dante forced a smile and said "I'm gonna tell you how it is. See its like this. We're engaged and we can't stand to be separated. She's all cuckoo for cocoa puffs over me and this whole bad kidneys mess has her kinda going out of her head. She's usually a really good, sweet, Catholic girl. St. Mary's educated K-8 and that's one of those schools where they still use nuns. She don't mean to throw her name around...do you, Brookie? She's not usually like that but look at me?" He mugged for her. "I bring it out of her. All the women love me."

Epiphany said "If you say so. Fine. Your fiancee can stay but I want you to rest and if you don't then she leaves. Grandmother and Great Grandfather and Mommy and Daddy and whoever can take it up with me if they don't like that, and I really wish they would try it." Epiphany left.

Brooklyn closed the door again. "You heard her. Rest."

Shaking his head, in defeat, Dante laid back and closed his eyes. He could smell Brooklyn's perfume in the air and it was oddly comforting to him. He didn't want her there but he also would hate to see her leave.


	173. DAB 3

**The Around The Way Girl**

**Dante and Brooklyn**

**Part Three**

**Flashback**

**Christmas 2008 **

He couldn't believe his Ma was right about him and Brooklyn. For as long as Dante could remember Olivia claimed that he would end up with Brooklyn one of these days when he grew up and wised up. Even though she was a few years younger than him and even though neither Brooke or Dante ever expressed interest in each other, it was something Olivia mentioned time and again.

Her belief came from the fact that Brooklyn was the only girl in the neighborhood who would tell Dante he wasn't charming and she didn't think he was cute or find him the least bit funny and really mean it.

Olivia said that was all she needed to know to know Brooklyn could handle her son better than any of the girls who fell for his lines and his smile.

Dante blew off his mother's predications for years. Brooklyn was a kid at first. Barely in high school when he was already graduating and then she left the neighborhood- which was a sin to some people who lived around there- and she moved in with her rich father, became a singer, and wasn't seen around Bensonhurst for years. When she showed back up, living in her Uncle's apartment building and hanging around because her Grandma Cerullo was sick, Dante took a second look at her.

And liked what he saw. He liked it so dang much he whistled as she walked by. Jogged off the stoop and started walking backwards in front of her.

"Hey," he said that day. "Remember me?"

"Nope."

"Come on. This hunky face. You remember me, pop star. I bet I'm in your dreams every night."

"Lets see. I met Shia LeBoeuf last week. Shia or you. Hmmm. Guess what my choice is?"

"What's a Shia?"

"Someone hotter than you, Falconerri."

"Impossible. God don't make hotter than me." He fell into step next to her. "So you finally came back to your roots, huh. Thought you went and got siddity on us. Too good for the old neighborhood. Glad to see you came to your senses. I'm sure you missed me while you were out doing your Britney thing."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "You still think you're so much cuter than you really are."

"I think I am just the right amount of cute," he told her and then asked "Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"My stomach. Its growling for one of Ed's hot dogs," he was the vendor on the corner. "Buy me lunch, pop star."

"Forget about it." She started to walk away.

"Forget about it," he teased as he watched her leave.

The months went on, from that day in September, and her Grandmother got sicker and sicker. Dante made a point to talk to Brooke when he saw her around. One day he caught her when she was nearly in tears over her Grandmother's failing health. That was the first time they had a deep, serious conversation and then she let him hug her.

Now it was a few months later and a few more conversations gone by. He got drug into a big case and hadn't been able to see her in three weeks. It wasn't like he had her number to call her or that he ever had been in her apartment before.

But on this night that was all going to, hopefully, change. It was just about Christmas and he wanted to make sure she knew that he wasn't playing anymore. He had real feelings for his around the way girl who came back home, where she belonged, to nurse a broken heart over some loser she had a fling with who was in her band and to be with her dying Grandmother.

He could see a future with Brooklyn. It was just something he felt down in his bones. He never got nervous or mushy over chicks but he his palms were sweaty and he was definitely feeling all sorts of mushy inside over her.

Dante knocked on her door. He was holding a poster in his hands. Brooklyn asked "Who is it?"

"NYPD, hands up, pop star. You're being arrested for first degree hotness."

She undid all the locks and then pulled open the door. Brooklyn busted out laughing as Dante mugged next to the poster. It was a huge blown up picture of him wearing a Santa hat and making a silly face. "Merry Christmas. I even autographed it for you."

"What in the hell is that?" She kept chuckling.

"Why should you be the only one who gets posters made of you? You need me hanging on your wall to class up this place."

"Thank you," she kept laughing. "I guess."

"So I know you've been missing me." He tried to stroll inside and her hand shot out to block his way. Dante ran into her hand and then said "It couldn't be helped. I was fighting crime and saving the world from the forces of evil. I missed you but my duty to protect the planet from bad guys and evil doers must come first. Don't pout, sweet cheeks, your face will freeze that way."

"Can you tell me why you're showing up on my doorstep tonight? You never have before."

"Are you admitting you've been on your pretty little knees begging God to bring me to your doorstep?"

"I don't get on my knees, Dante."

"That must make going to Sunday mass kinda awkward."

She smirked. "You just show up out of nowhere and I'm supposed to let you in? I don't think so, buddy."

"Its Christmas and I'm your miracle. Don't send away your miracle."

She rolled her eyes. "Go spend Christmas with one of the many women you always tell me are so crazy about you."

"I could, cause believe me they do exist, but the crazy thing is that, and don't tell her this, my Ma was kinda onto something when it came to us."

Brooke smiled. "You don't say."

"Just between you and me."

Brooklyn spun around and started to hurry away, joking, "I can't wait to call your Ma and tell her you said that."

Dante came inside, dropped the poster, and caught Brooklyn around her waist , from behind, lifting her off her feet as she squealed happily.

He teased "Forget about it."

"Forget about it," she mocked him, jokingly.

He set her down and she turned around. She was smiling from ear-to-ear. She looped her arms around his neck. "Merry Christmas, Officer Falconerri. Guess what you're getting this year?"

"A pop star?"

"He gets it on the first try." She slowly brought her lips to his and they shared a sweet kiss.

Soon they were making dinner together, getting to know each other better, and letting the sexual chemistry sizzle to a boiling point. By New Year's Eve they were dancing together at a downtown club and making out like crazy.

Tipsy on champagne they headed back to her place, and tumbled into bed together, but instead of making love they ended up cuddling and talking. That's when Dante knew he lost his heart to her.

When they finally had sex a few days later it was incredibly emotional for both of them. He was sure he was with a woman that would change his whole life. And she did....she broke his heart just ninety seven days later.

He never hurt like the way he hurt when she told him they weren't gonna work out. And he never wanted to hurt like that again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**September 2009**

"_You're joking right?" he said, as panic coursed through his veins._

"_I know you weren't expecting this and either was I," she said, as she packed her suitcase. "This gig as the opening act for this tour came up last minute when another band pulled out."_

"_What does one thing got to do with another? Will you stop," he grabbed her hands "packing and-"_

_She jerked away. "I have to get going. We leave in a couple of hours."_

"_This ain't for real. You're pulling my leg, Brookie." He stared at her for a long moment as she kept packing. "Brooke?" He shook his head. "All right break this down for me like I'm stupid. You have to go on the road and that means we're over because of what? You want to get back with that guy in your band?"_

"_Don't be an ass!"_

"_What am I supposed to be like when you're dumping me? Is this not proper dumping etiquette for you. I'll work on my manners while you're gone. Take a class or something....Come on. What are you doing this for?"_

_She let out a shaky breath and looked like she was about to cry. "I really enjoyed our time together-"_

"_I swear I'm in the Twilight Zone right now."_

"_But I want to be 100 percent focused on my career. When I'm on tour I can't have distractions like a guy at home."_

"_Its not like I'm gonna be all clingy and blow up your phone every five minutes. I'm not that guy."_

"_I just need to focus on work."_

"_Don't take it personal? Is that what you're trying to tell me? Well it is personal. I'm personally involved in the fact that I love you and you're dumping me on my ASS like you don't even feel a thing for me."_

"_I'm too young to be in a serious relationship."_

"_Brooke, baby....." he whimpered and when she ignored him he yelled "just STOP PACKING and talk to me!"_

Dante tossed and turned as he slept "Talk to me. Talk to me," he murmured. "Brooke, baby, please, talk to me."

He was shaken awake by Olivia. "Hey, its okay."

Dante opened his eyes and jerked back. "You got to stop coming here."

"Its late. No one is around."

"Ma, please, please, please, if you love me stop messing in my life. You called Brooke!"

"Yeah and I'd do it again. You need her. She gets you. She can get through to you cause I know I can't."

He pushed himself up a little more. "Where is she?"

"She's just going to the bathroom. She'll be back."

"You both should go home. I'm fine."

"Fine. You call this fine? You nearly died and you gave me one hell of a scare."

"And so did Johnny getting shot, right? How is he?"

"You care?"

"I'm asking, ain't I?"

"He'll survive, thank you Jesus."

"Great. You don't got to lose your boy toy that means."

"Don't be fresh, young man."

"You don't mess in my life or my job or my romantic relationships. You brought Brooke here and now she told Sonny we're engaged. That's right, Ma. Engaged. Nice, huh?"

"You're engaged? Oh my God, Dante Angelo Falconerri why didn't you tell me that when it happened?"


	174. DAB 4

**The Around The Way Girl**

**Dante and Brooklyn**

**September 2009**

**Part Four**

"You're engaged?" Olivia asked, as she stood in Dante's hospital room. "Oh my God, Dante Angelo Falconerri why didn't you tell me that when it happened?"

"SHHH! I'm not engaged for real. She thinks she's helping by making that up. She thinks Sonny will put me under his protection now and treat me like family."

Olivia smiled smugly. "So it was a good thing I called her."

"No it was not a good thing. Don't you get it? She threw me over, Ma."

"She's young. She was confused. I could tell you stories about when I was young and confused-"

"Spare me the stroll down memory lane."

"You need to lay back and relax. You're getting worked up and that's not good for your recovery."

"Why would you call my ex? What were you thinking?" His eyes were really wide as he grilled her. "That she was gonna come here and fall for me again? She don't want me! She wants her career. She's a career girl first. Not a neighborhood girl, okay? She ain't giving you grandbabies and she ain't marrying me and all you did was make a mess. Thanks, Ma, really. I don't got enough problems with this barely healed up hole in my side and now these bad kidneys on top of it."

"I don't like your tone."

"Then leave. Please. Just leave. You don't want me to die? Then stop trying to get me killed by coming around me."

"Fine. I'll go. But one day you will thank me for calling Brooklyn. That girl is the one."

"What do you know about it? You never even got married and you never dated nobody for more than a six months at a time. Since when are you some expert on love?"

"Watch how you talk to me. You've got a fresh mouth on you and I don't like it."

"Well I'm a big boy and you can't wash it out with soap so I guess you'll just have to not like it."

Brooklyn came walking in. "You're awake."

"What was your first clue? My gorgeous eyes being open? Or the frown on my pretty lips?"

Brooklyn said to Olivia "He's cranky still, huh?"

"Yep," Olivia said. "I'll leave you to deal with him. I need to get home and finally get some rest. The last few days have been endless, I swear."

Brooklyn hugged her. "Night."

"Night, Brooke." Olivia looked at her son. "You rest up and don't cause any hell for the doctors or nurses."

Dante just made a face at her.

Olivia left.

Brooklyn walked over to Dante. "That nurse threatened me as soon as I walked past her. She said I was getting you wound up. And that your heart rate was raised. She told me to go home again. I'm not her favorite person, that's for sure."

"She's probably just jealous that I'm off the market."

"I told her I wasn't doing anything to you and you were asleep. I don't think she bought it."

"Well then you didn't spin it good enough. You got to put a little sugar on that sassy tongue of yours if you wanna win friends and influence people."

"Were you having a bad dream?"

"No clue. Its all a blur. These drugs they got me on have me seeing purple people eaters in my sleep."

Brooklyn nodded. "You really need the rest though so you should try to sleep some more."

"You really need to go get some rest yourself."

"Fiancees stick by fiances."

"Nothing is gonna happen to me. Remember I'm blessed. God picked me to be the sexiest, strongest, luckiest son of a gun around."

"And where was all that luck when you got shot?"

"I zigged when I should have zagged. Don't put that on God."

"And where was your lucky streak when you got ran over?"

"My bad ankle slowed me down. Its an old stickball injury."

"Mmm-hmmm. I'm staying."

"Brookie."

"Staying."

"Brooke-"

"I like it here."

"How was the tour? You liking being all about career? How's that working for you?"

She just glared at him.

Dante goaded her some more "And how is that keyboardist? He still hot to get in your pants? Or did you let him back in already?"

She headed for the door. "I can see that you're back to your old charming self."

He grinned widely. She looked back at him for a long moment and then left.

His grin slipped away. He lay back down and tried to sleep but the memories of his nightmare lingered, leaving a cold feeling over his skin.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Brooklyn's teeth clenched when she walked back into Dante's hospital room the next day and found Lulu there. Brooklyn cleared her throat.

Lulu turned. "Brooke? Oh wow. What are you doing back?"

Brooklyn glared at Dante.

He said "She just walked in five seconds ago! I swear."

Lulu looked between them. "What did I miss?"

"Its like this-" Dante started and then stopped.

Lulu looked at him. "Like what?"

He threw his hands up. "I'm engaged. Surprise."

Her mouth dropped. "You kissed me!"

"No, technically, you kissed me and this engagement is brand new anyway so that kiss wasn't a cheating kiss."

Lulu pouted. "Well I feel so much better now! How do you two even know each other?"

Brooklyn said "I'm sure you remember I'm from Bensonhurst."

"Not really."

"Maybe if you paid a little more attention to someone other than the guys you're into," Brooklyn said

"Excuse you," Lulu said. "What was that? Now I'm the one in the wrong when your fiancee is a sleaze who's been hitting on me every chance he got since the second he saw me? Oh, okay. Well you have him. Good luck with that. You better tighten up his leash." She looked at Dante "And you...you don't know me anymore." She headed for the door. "And I will be telling my brothers about this too!"

When she was gone Dante grumbled "Great! Look what you did."

"You hit on her every chance you got?"

"Her brothers are blood thirsty, I hope you know."

"Her? Really?"

"You wanted me out of danger but now I'll have the Spencer hit squad coming after me."

"She's so whiny. But if that what's you like then have at it. Don't let me stop you."

"Thanks for the permission but I think Sonny would have a problem with me juggling you and her. I can't dog out his mi familia."

"No, really, go for it. Just keep it on the down low."

"Sounds good to me. Go after Lulu. Maybe you can catch her."

Brooklyn huffed and left.

Dante smirked.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Brooklyn ended up standing on the roof. Tears shimmered in her eyes. Dante had moved on. She expected it but it still hurt. Her hand was shaking when she raised it to her mouth.

He kissed Lulu. God only knew what else he did with who else.

He wasn't waiting on Brooke or missing her or aching over what they lost. He never called and he never tried to contact her in any way.

She told herself that was because he was just hurt too deep and if she just went to him, explained her fears, and asked for forgiveness he would take her back. He said he never loved anyone like he loved her.

But that love was over now. She made sure of it. The best she could do was help him survive this investigation and then go their separate ways again.

When she heard he was in critical condition her heart nearly stopped. It put everything in focus. She wanted to be by his side, holding his hand, promising to always love him. It was the wake up call she needed to get over her fears and stop pushing him away.

It looked like she got her wake up call too late. Dante was over her.

(_Time is passing us by, another week has passed, and still I haven't laughed yet._

_So tell me what your secret is for letting go, letting go like you did._

_-_

_How can you just walk on by without one tear in your eye? Don't you have the slightest feeling left for me?_

_Maybe that's just your way of dealing with the pain. Forgetting everything between our rise and fall,_

_like we never loved at all._

_-_

_Did you forget the magic?_

_Did you forget the passion?_

_Do you ever miss me?_

_Ever long to kiss me?) (Faith Hill)_


	175. DAB 5

**The Around The Way Girl**

**Dante and Brooklyn**

**September 2009**

**Part Five**

Brooklyn and Dante fell into a routine of bickering, joking around, and occasionally letting a serious comment pass between them while he recovered in the hospital. When he was released they moved into the gatehouse.

Dante would clean out his room above Kelly's when he was feeling stronger. For now he just had one overnight bag.

Brooklyn insisted they stay at the gatehouse because it was much more secure than Kelly's diner. A cop had been murdered at Kelly's the year before. It obviously wasn't a safe place for Dante to sleep.

Plus they couldn't have conversations there without the fear of being overheard. And they would have to share a bed. Since they weren't intending to have sex that might get a lot uncomfortable real quick.

She told him the gatehouse was a better all around option.

He told her to go back to Bensonhurst. She stuck out her tongue at him. And, in the end, they moved into the gatehouse together.

Not ten minutes after they got home from the hospital that first day he was grabbing his keys and saying "I got things to do, Brookie."

She followed him to the door. "That's gonna be a good trick to pull off when you're on bed rest."

"That was just a _suggestion_ by the doc."

"It didn't sound like just a _suggestion_ to me."

"You hear what you wanna hear and since you want me laid up in bed all prone and there for you to do with what you like you heard the doc say that's what I gotta do. But the way I heard it was that it was more of 'If you feel tired take it easy' suggestion. And I don't feel tired. I feel Tigger-ific."

She rolled her eyes. "Cool."

"Cool?" He raised an eyebrow, startled that she didn't plan to fight him about this. Then he quickly said "Cool! So I'll be back later. Wait up for me. I know you can't sleep without knowing I'm safe and sound. You've still got it so bad for me."

Brooklyn said, as she grabbed his hand. "Since you're feeling up to it you can come meet my family."

"As much as I wanna do that," he said, as she pulled him out the door and down the path "cause they really sound like fantastic people in your stories, just a little touched but who don't got that branch in their family tree, right? I got to get back to work asap."

"Of course you do and I want you to get back to work, Dommy."

"Sure you do."

"But not today. Today you face my Grams. That will take all the energy you have, trust that."

"I've made the acquaintance of Tracy already. Through mmmm-mmm," he said, joking with Brooklyn about Lulu. He had teased Brooklyn mercilessly about how much Lulu liked him until Brooklyn said to not mention that name to her again.

Brooklyn cut her eyes at him and said "Well its a whole different ballgame when you're engaged to her granddaughter and not just acting like a skank with her step-daughter."

"Excuse me, I prefer the term lothario."

They reached the patio doors and Brooklyn looked inside. "Okay, time for a game plan. We've got Alice, Tracy and the freak inside."

"Freak? I'm a fan of those. Let me see." He looked in. "Yeah I know all about her. She's got your cousin's face cause they're twins. Spooky!" He made a sound like the music in a scary movie.

"She's a stupid bitch."

"I hate when women put down other women like that. Where's your solidarity for your gender?"

"Okay I can give Rebecca some props. At least she's not a silly ho like Lulu."

"That wasn't very nice, Brookie."

"You're right. And I feel so bad about it." Brook straightened Dante's clothes. "Okay, just smile pretty and let me do all the talking."

"I don't know about that plan. I don't want to end up with your Grandma booking the Plaza for a June wedding."

"Don't worry. She'd never do that."

"Good."

"Quatermaines get married in the rose garden," Brooke said and then she drug him into the living room. "Grams! I'm so glad you're back in town. Did you see Edward?"

"Yes. Daddy is getting released later today. I can't believe that hurricane kept me stuck at the airport for days. It blew through and still all aircraft were grounded. It was completely ridiculous. Anyway, Brooklyn, what is this I hear about you and this young thug being engaged? Lulu certainly lost something in translation when she spoke to you, right?"

Dante grinned. "Welcome to the family? Why, thank you, Grandmother, I'm thrilled to be here. I've always wanted to live in fancy digs like this." He sat down and then put his feet on the coffee table and his hands behind his head.

Alice said "It will be good to have a new person around here bringing some cheeriness into this home again."

Tracy said "Get me a drink and keep your unwanted and unneeded opinions to yourself."

"You're the reason," Alice grumbled as she went to make a martini "everyone in this house is always in such a foul mood. No wonder Mr. Luke runs away so often. You chase him away with your crankiness."

"Oh!" Tracy gasped. "You keep this up and you'll end up on the unemployment line."

"Mr. Q loves me and so does Mr. Luke. You'd end up in a shelter long before I end up out of a job," Alice said as she passed her the drink and then put on a fake smile. "As you like it, madam."

Rebecca said "Lets try and get along. Grandfather-"

Tracy snapped "Do not call him that, Little Miss Hands in Our Pockets! He's not your grandfather. My God, he wasn't even Emily's grandfather let alone her castoff at birth for a few bucks twin's grandfather." Tracy raised one hand to her temple. "Is it no wonder I have a migraine headache?" She glared at Dante. "What are you smiling about?"

"Enjoying the show, ma'am. Though I could use some popcorn."

Alice said "Right away, sir."

Brooklyn said "Call him Dommy. He prefers that."

"Dommy, I'll be right back with your refreshments. Can I bring you a drink also?"

"Sure. I'll take-"

Tracy bellowed. "He won't be staying!"

Alice said "Maybe you're the one who should move out. It would make my job so much more pleasant." She headed out of the room.

Tracy let out a frustrated breath. "I don't know why you've gotten yourself involved with this punk but there won't be any wedding. You can be assured of that."

"We're thinking of having a long engagement, Grams. So you'll have lots of time to get used to Dominic."

"That's the last thing I want to do. Brooklyn, explain yourself. What has your mother allowed you to get into this time?"

Dante asked "Not a fan of Ms. Cerello? I always found her delightful myself. A real good broad."

"That is my exact point. Someone in this family should never be comfortable being described as a broad." Tracy said. "When Ned brought her home I was appalled and when she took Brooklyn to be raised in that hood I was horrified and now my worst fears have been realized because Brooklyn looked around that neighborhood and instead of getting involved with one of the many talented, accomplished men she meets in her professional life she became involved with you, Mr. Pirelli."

Dante said "A lucky break, right?"

Brooklyn said "Grams, he's no prize-"

"Huh?" Dante asked, standing up. "What's that?"

Brooklyn pulled him beside her and put on a sweet smile. "But I love him. And I know in time you're gonna love him too. He's a very sweet person deep down inside underneath his sleazy outside persona."

"Say what?" Dante asked. "I gotta speak up here cause I'm not sleaz-"

Brooklyn cut him off. "Of course, you aren't, baby. Deep down inside."

Tracy looked at him with a very unimpressed expression on her face. "I'm not convinced and I'm sure I don't want to be convinced."

Brooklyn said "You'll see, Grams, that Dominic is so much more complicated than he seems. The lounge singer meet used car salesman shtick is just his self protection mechanism because he's so shy and afraid to let people see who he really is at first. Deep inside, this man is just a bashful little boy begging-"

Dante poked her in the side. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. Brooklyn went on "To be loved."

Tracy looked him up and down. "I doubt it. He's a street hood wanna be gangster working for Sonny Corinthos and I won't have him in this house a moment longer."

In walked Monica "Its my house and I'll say who stays and who goes. Hello, Mr. Pirelli. I heard you'll be joining our family. Congratulations. Should I have Alice make up a room for you two?" Monica smirked at Tracy.

"Over my dead-" Tracy started.

Brooklyn said "That's all right. We're staying in the gatehouse."

"Body!" Tracy bellowed

Rebecca said "Get off her back. You don't get to judge everyone. Who the hell made you God anyway?"

"I highly suggest you keep your thieving con artist mouth out of this before I teach you a lesson you'll never forget," Tracy told Rebecca.

From the patio walked in Ethan. "Luv, I can't allow you to speak to her that way. She's made her share of mistakes but those without any sin should cast the first stone and, sorry, but that ain't you."

Tracy groaned. "Where is the security in this house? You can't just walk in here any old time you please and butt into my families affairs."

"Our family, don't you mean?" Ethan asked. "I just came by to have a chat with you about where Luke might be gallivanting to this time but while I'm here I have some more pressing business to attend to." He looked at Dante. "You, mate, are a dead man. I've waited for you to get out of the hospital so I can send you back there."

Ethan started toward Dante. Dante threw up his hands. "Hey, man, I know you're pissed about what went down with me and your sister but-"

Brooklyn said to Ethan "You need to back off. He just had surgery a few days ago!"

Tracy said "This is what happens when you shack up with hoodlum skirt chasers."

Monica said "You sound just like Edward! My God, Tracy, cut these kids some slack."

"Sometimes Daddy is right. He won't like this character anymore than I do. Look at this chaos he's brought into my home on the first day he's here!"

Ethan cracked his knuckles.

Dante went on "Can't we find some way to work this out that doesn't include violence? I'm a peace loving guy myself and-"

Ethan swung and Dante ducked.

"Watch the vase!" Tracy cried "That's a one of a kind!"

In walked Alice with the bowl of popcorn. Dante dodged another blow and ran into Alice. The popcorn went flying everywhere. Alice grabbed Ethan and subdued him with a submission hold, sitting on his back.

Rebecca cried "Be careful with him!"

Dante said "Careful to keep him down, is more like it. That guy's a menace." In a loud tone he said to Ethan "I won't touch your sister again. OKAY? Lets be friends! I really hate this harsh vibe you give off. Try and work on that, will ya?"

Tracy cried "Look at this, Brooklyn. Look what your gangster boyfriend caused."

Brooklyn grabbed Dante's hand and started to drag him toward the patio doors. "He takes a while to grow on you, Grams. I know you'll love him in time. By the wedding you're gonna be a big fan of his! Love you, Grams. See you later. Bye, Alice, thanks! See you later, Aunt Monica."

Once they were outside they could still hear screaming inside. Brooklyn grinned. "That went better than I expected."

Dante blanched. "And you call my job dangerous? Those people are more dangerous and wacked than anybody I meet while working."

"Hey! That's my family you're putting down. I don't know if I wanna marry a guy who doesn't like my family."

After a long moment Dante said, in a joking tone, "Maybe I can try and get used to them for you, sweetie pie."

Brooklyn smiled. "That's all I'm asking." She headed for the gatehouse. "Come on, lets go get some lunch."

"I have to work. I got a job to do."

"Sonny said that I should keep you home till you're 100 percent. My 100 percent. Not yours. You don't wanna upset Sonny who loves me like a niece, do ya?"

"Brookie-"

"Brookie," she mocked his tone.

"Stop that."

"I want a BLT for lunch. Sound good?"

"I'm going to work." He kissed her cheek. "Nice try but if you wanna convince me to stay home next time I suggest instead of offering me bacon that you put on a teeny weensy yellow polka dot bikini."

He walked down the path.

She called out "I thought the surest path to a guy's heart is through his stomach not his boxers."

He called over his shoulder "You thought wrong."

She pouted as she watched him walk away. Once he disappeared from sight she got a worried expression on her face. Brooklyn prayed he would make it through this day safe and sound.


	176. DAB 6

**The Around The Way Girl**

**Dante and Brooklyn**

**September 2009**

**Part Six**

Brooklyn stayed up late on her computer instant messaging a friend of hers from the city. She tried to ignore the ticking clock on the wall of the gatehouse but she couldn't help but be aware that it was now after one am and Dante was still not home.

Finally she heard a knock at the door. She signed off the computer and went over to it. Glancing through the window she saw Dante and then opened the door. He said "Hey, Lucy, I'm home," in a very over exaggerated accent.

She didn't say a word to him as she walked back into the living room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She wasn't happy. He could tell that right away. Either she was mad that he had taken an assignment that would make him have to try to bring down a man who she thought of as family or she was extremely worried about him being out on the street again when he was barely healed.

It was probably a little of both.

Dante hated to see Brooklyn upset but he couldn't stay at this gatehouse all day just to keep her from worrying. She had to learn to accept what his job was and deal with her feelings about it if they had any hope of working out.

Even if they hadn't talked about their future and even if Dante didn't trust her the way he used to there was still a huge part of him that wanted them to find their way back to each other and what they used to have.

Dante walked inside "Sorry I had to knock. I guess I better get a key."

"Done." Brooklyn pulled a key out of her pocket. "I got this made today."

"A present? For little ole me? You're too sweet, sweet cheeks."

She rolled her eyes as he took the key from her. "I'm surprised you made it home at all. I was half expecting Nurse Johnson to call and yell at me for not watching my fiance close enough and letting him wind up back in the emergency room because he collapsed on Main Street on his first day home."

"I collapsed but a homeless guy picked me back up. Nice guy. I told him I might know someone to hook him up with. Your grandmother's husband left her, right?" he joked. "So Tracy is on the market again?"

She glared at him. "You really took it easy today. I'm sure your doctor would be thrilled to hear how you're letting your body heal before running all over town."

He held his arms out wide. "Take a good look. I'm fit as a fiddle! You can't keep a good man down. Unless you put a good woman on top of him and then...." he grinned "that's a whole new ballgame. Speaking of the ballgames, I'm going to the World Series with Sonny and his kids next month. Make sure you DVR it in case I get on TV."

"Next month? Sonny isn't going to be locked up then?"

Dante headed for the kitchen. "I'm starved! Did you save me any of that bacon?"

Brooklyn followed him. "How long is this case going to take?"

"Who knows? Its not like I can see the future. I'm not the psychic they had at the carnival. Wanna hear what she told me?"

"Not really. My Nonna used to believe in fortune tellers and superstitions but I never did."

He pulled open the fridge. "Well I'm a believer cause she said that all my dreams are gonna come true any day now. I think that means the Yankees are taking the pennant this year."

"So this case could last how long? Ballpark it for me."

Dante pulled out some lunch meat, cheese, and mustard. He shrugged. "Never know with this kinda thing. Why? Do you got to rush back out on another tour or something?"

"My Dad made a studio in the basement here so I'll just work here till you're done."

"Don't compromise your _career _for me, Brookie. I know you're all about _career._" He made a sandwich.

"Yeah, well, my Nonna taught me to be loyal and I wouldn't want her to look down on me and give me the evil eye for running out on you when you need me."

"I was doing fantastic before you showed up."

"You were shot."

"That was a minor blip."

"And ran over."

"A second minor blip."

"Your Ma is dating a gangster."

"That's my Ma's bad taste. I couldn't do nothing about that. You think I like it? Its turns my stomach. She used to hate gangsters."

"Since you can't talk her out of it you need me around to make sure she doesn't freak too much about you and blow everything by telling Johnny or Sonny what your job is. Like it or not, your Ma believes in us so as long as we are, seemingly, a couple she will relax some and get off your back."

"So you're doing all this as a favor to my Ma?" He leaned against the counter.

She leaned next to him and looked at him. "Not just because of that..."

"I'm listening." He cupped his hand to his ear.

She bumped his shoulder. "I guess I got a soft spot for you now."

He tried to think of a joke to break the tension but he suddenly couldn't think straight. Instead he just stared into her eyes and swallowed hard.

Brooklyn looked down. "Not that I'm saying we should go back in time or nothing."

"Of course not. I'm just a cop and you're just a pop star so its not like we're...uh...scientists who can make a time machine to jump in. Or that we'd wanna. Cause we were both kinda stupid last winter."

"Yeah, you were pretty stupid," she teased, her voice thick.

"What do you expect? I had a pop star in my bed. That makes even smart guys act like idiots."

"And I was stupid, too." She finally looked up and into his eyes. "My Ma always told me 'Don't sleep with him unless you wanna marry him cause you never know what could happen'. She was talking about getting knocked up and I totally ignored her but she was right. You never do know. My first boyfriend turned gay and my second became a serial killer....and even if that sounds like a funny plot for a movie...it kinda sucks when it happens to you and then there were a couple of musicians and you know it never works when two artists hook up. And then there was you. Every time I think I'm having a fun fling it just gets all messed up."

"Our fun fling was fun for a while, Brookie. Not everything is made to last, that's all. Sometimes feelings change for people and other people just have to deal with that."

"Nothing ever lasts. That's why I figured it was best for us to break up when we did cause why start that long distance stuff? You would have found someone around the neighborhood to hook up with and then I would have gotten pissed so its much better this way cause we're still friends now."

"Wait a minute." he said, angrily, "now its my fault you dumped me on my ass?"

"Don't get worked up. You're supposed to take it easy!"

He forced a smile. "I'm taking it easy. See?" He made his grin bigger. "Nice and easy."

"Its late. We should get to bed." Brooklyn headed out of the kitchen.

Dante followed Brooklyn to the living room. "Just wait up for one second. Let me see if I got this straight? You dumped me flat, out of nowhere, cause you got the offer to go play pop star and since you had to leave town and couldn't trust me to be faithful I got dumped? Well thanks a whole hell of a lot for the faith in me, baby. I really appreciate it! Glad you know how I was gonna hook up with the first chick I came across after you left."

"Not the first or maybe the second or third..."

"But one day I would have? Total bullshit and you should have known that! How didn't you know what I felt for you?" He ran his fingers through his hair and looked away.

"I'm not trying to say anything was your fault, Dante. You're taking what I said the wrong way."

"Now I'm a cheater and a dumb ass? No wonder you got away from me the first chance you had. So all that career talk was just something you said? Cause now you can ditch your career in a heartbeat to help out your _friend_ but you couldn't say no to that tour for the sake of keeping your _boyfriend_? Sounds like you lied just to have a convenient excuse to get out of something you never wanted to get into in the first place."

"I _am_ all about career. Its what I can count on."

"And you couldn't count on me? You know what? My Ma was right about me and you, Brookie. We were made for each other. You were meant to come into my life and make me never believe in love again. This way I won't waste my life waiting for some kind of romance that ain't coming my way. I can be _all _about career, like you. You taught me a lot. Thanks, sweet cheeks!"

A long moment passed before Brooklyn said "I never meant to hurt you like I did."

"I'm not hurt! I'm great! I'm freaking great! I just needed to know the truth and now I do. I'm a skirt chaser and that's why you dumped me. Your Grams hit the bulls eye when she called me that. Good to know. I'm a cheater. I never had any idea that's my nature but if you say so..."

"Maybe you wouldn't have cheated. Maybe I would have cheated. Or maybe we would have started fighting all the time. Something would have went wrong! I know it would have because it always does. Nobody stays together. It was stupid to think we were gonna beat the odds and the second I started letting myself get that stupid I knew I had to end it." Tears were in her eyes as she went on "I just wanna tell you I'm sorry I hurt you. I couldn't be with you but I hated leaving you too. And I missed you every second and I hate that you kissed Lulu and I hate that you're in danger and I hate that we can't get back together and pretend that it will last! I don't want you with anyone but me but I know that nothing lasts and I can't set myself up to hurt when we end again. Its better to just be friends."

She ran up the stairs and into her bedroom while Dante stood there alone in the living room thinking about how he never knew she was that broken inside.

__________

Note- Nonna is the Italian term for Grandmother. For storyline purposes Lois mother died while Brooklyn was living in Bensonhurst in 2008.


	177. DAB 7

**Note- Dante calls Lulu Mmm-mmm because Brooke told him she never wanted to hear him say that name again.**

**The Around The Way Girl**

**Dante and Brooklyn**

**September 2009**

**Part Seven**

Dante stood at the bottom of the stairs in the gatehouse. "Rise and shine! Time to get your grub on, Pop star!"

He headed back to the kitchen. A few minutes later Brooklyn, who was dressed but had wet hair still, came into the room. She looked at the table, where he had French Toast made and also he had a rose in a vase. "What's all this?"

"Its called breakfast, maybe you've heard of it."

"You went to sleep late and you got up early. When do you plan to start taking it easy?"

He pulled out a chair for her. "When do you plan to stop fussing over me like mother hen?"

"I just-"

"Squawk!"

She sat down. "I just want you to relax-"

"Squawk! Squawk!"

"Dante!" Brooklyn giggled.

"I can't hear you. I think a hen got in here." He pretended to shoo the imaginary bird out of the room and then sat down across from Brooklyn.

She said "You didn't have to make us breakfast. If we go over to the mansion they serve continental breakfast in the sitting room every morning."

"Well, la de dah dah dah. Isn't that fancy?" He poured her some fresh squeezed orange juice. "So did you go shopping yesterday or you make the maid go?"

"Alice is more like family and not a servant. Well to everyone but my Grams. I would never ask Alice to do my errands."

"Glad to see you're not getting too siddity on me, Brookie. I like that bruiser of a maid your family has got and wouldn't want you mistreating her."

She rolled her eyes and then took a sip of her juice. "Alice being all muscular came in pretty handy when Ethan wanted to kick your ass."

"I could have taken him."

"She got him on the ground without breaking a sweat or a nail."

"She's tough. You sure she ain't an undercover agent? Maybe your grandfather is about to get busted for fraud."

"Edward being on the Fed's radar is possible but I doubt Alice is a cop. She's been with the family for years."

"She could be deep, deep undercover. Agent Zero masquerading as a mild mannered maid."

"Actually Alice spends her spare time as a wrestler. We should go see her sometime. They let audience members have a shot at getting in the ring for the last match of the night. I'm sure Alice would love to use some of her moves on you....when you are all healed, of course. We could even get you a spandex costume."

"Ha. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Seeing all these muscles in spandex. Forget about it. I'm not giving you that kind of free peek at my hot bod. You've made me feel so cheap, Brookie."

She chuckled. Then she took a bite of the French toast. "This is really good."

"One of your favorites, right?"

"Right." They ate for a minute and then she said "About last night..."

"Don't give that another thought."

"Well I meant what I said. I'm sorry, Dante."

"You're forgiven. Every guy needs to get dumped on his ass once in his life. It keeps the ego in check."

"I was thinking about it after I went upstairs last night and....um...you should date ...her....if you wanna."

"Oh yeah? Well me and Mmm-mmm did have a lot of chemistry. She was pretty hot for my bod."

"I'm trying to digest here."

"Maybe I should call her right now and tell her we can start some sexy, on the down low, hook up."

"Spare me the details."

"Hmm. She was just what I wanted for a hot minute there."

"Yeah, well, keep her away from here, if you do see her, cause our engagement needs to seem real. I know Sonny will do all he can to keep you alive if he thinks I love you. I've never been all that close to him but he's always loved my ma like a sister."

"So how mad is your Ma gonna be about this when it all hits the fan?"

"Mad. But what can we do about it now? You took the case and the die is cast, as my Nonna would say. We just got to keep my Ma from coming to town or Sonny from, God forbid, sending her your picture. Her loyalty is pretty much to him over you. But thank God she's off on that South American tour and won't be around till Christmas."

"Well when she finds out what we were up to I'll tell her that I blackmailed you into going along with it. It won't make her like me too much but at least she won't blame you. Maybe I can win over your Dad still though. He don't have any deep allegiance to Sonny, does he?"

"Nope. He can't stand him. Sonny knocked up my Dad's ex-fiancee and I don't think my Dad can ever get over that one."

"That would be a hard blow to take."

"Alexis was long done with my Dad by that point anyway but I doubt he believes it. He would have done anything for Alexis. He even acted like Kristina was his kid for a while. Told the whole word, me included, that he fathered Kristina till she got sick and the whole truth came out. My Ma hated that but what right did she have to judge who he wanted to have kids with? Cause she ran off and ditched him before I was even born."

"Your parents sure did make a mess out of things."

"Yeah but its just typical. Everyone makes a mess out of love. That's why I'm through with it. I'm not saying I'll never date again. I just won't pretend like caring about someone means I'll be with him for the rest of my life cause that doesn't exist." She ate some more French Toast.

"That jaded attitude of yours kinda sucks for me cause I'm in love with you."

Brooklyn started to choke on her food. Dante jumped up, walked behind her chair, and patted her on the back. She took a drink and then coughed.

He smiled. "I know its shocking, right? Who would have saw that one coming?"

Brooklyn stood up. "Don't make jokes about that, okay? God. Living with you is gonna really try my nerves. Go to work. Or go find Lulu. Just go away."

"But we were having such a nice breakfast together, sweet cheeks."

"Breakfast was great but I need to go work on a song. Bye. Don't get killed today."

She headed for the basement.

He called after her "Bye, baby, I love you! Have a nice day at work."

She spun around. "Don't say that!"

"I do love you. Should I say I mmmm you, instead?"

"This isn't funny!"

"I mmmmm you with all my heart." He put his hands over his heart.

"Stop staying that!"

"I mmmmm you and I wanna marry you one day but not too soon because we have a lot of growing up to do and I need to go on a diet and get into shape to look good in my dress...oops. That's the bride who does that. Well I need to look good in the buff on our honeymoon. What do you think about Cancun?"

"Dante! Stop!"

"Listen I know you don't believe in love and marriage and all that jazz and I don't blame ya. But I do believe in it still. Maybe I'm just a romantic fool or maybe you make me wanna believe but I still buy that two people can fall in love and be happy together for all their lives. Whoa, huh? All our lives sounds like a long time so lets just take this day by day. You don't gotta believe what I believe right now. You don't got to trust in love or commitment but trust in me, Brookie. Trust me. Cause, even if you don't wanna hear it, I mmmm you."

Breathing heavily she said "I hurt you so much. Why would you forgive me now?"

He moved close to her and said, smiling, "Because I mmmm you and I'm hoping like crazy you still mmmm me back."

She pressed her lips together and sniffled. Dante pulled her into a hug. She shivered against him. After a minute she pulled back and caressed his cheek. Slowly she brought her lips to his in a tender kiss. Then their foreheads rested against each other. She whispered "I just got scared."

"Okay."

"I know I'm gonna get scared and then hurt you again."

"I'm tough. I'm like Superman. I can survive speeding bullets, cars and pop stars who dump me on my ass."

They shared another kiss and then Brooklyn said "I can't offer you much..."

"I think you offer a lot. Look at you, sweet cheeks. You're a hottie and you're famous and you know how to make cannoli. What more could a man ask for?"

She chuckled tearfully "But one thing I can promise is no more lies, okay? I won't make excuses when I want space away from you. I won't put it on my career or yours or other people."

"Space is not my new favorite word but I can handle it." He stepped back from her. "You sleep in your room and I'll sleep in mine and we'll be all proper and make your Nonna looking down on us proud."

"That's going overboard a little."

"Whew," he said dramatically. Then he got serious. "How about a date, Brookie? We can start with a date and then just see what happens."

"Dating my fiance sounds like a pretty good idea."

"Good. And if you start to feel smothered then just tell me cause I can take it." He pretended to be holding my tears. "I'm not gonna break down or nothing so don't worry about that." He fake sniffled loudly.

She chuckled. "Total honesty." She stuck out her hand.

He shook her hand.

She asked "So, being totally honest, did you screw Lulu?"

He jerked her close to him and she started giggling. Their lips met again. Who knows how far they would have gotten that morning, after all those months apart and all that pent up desire, but his cell phone rang and he had to head off to meet his FBI contact.

Before Dante left he slipped a ring on Brooklyn's finger. "I got this yesterday. I figure Sonny is not gonna like it if I don't treat you right and get you the best ring I can afford."

She stared at it for a long moment. "Pretty good for a fake engagement."

"The keyboardist is gonna cry his eyes out when he hears about this, ain't he?"

She simply pushed at his shoulder and said "Go to work. The sooner you go the quicker this case will be over and we don't have to pretend to be on our way to the alter anymore."

"Oh, we are on our way to the alter, Brookie. We're just taking the long way with a few detours. So breathe. Breathe." He took in and let out some long breaths. "Breathe. You okay? Are you breathing?"

"I'm breathing."

"Good." He kissed her cheek and said "Go write your man a song. I'll expect to hear it when I get home from saving the world."

She rolled her eyes. Dante headed out the door.

When he was getting in his car his phone rang. He answered it "Hey, you miss me already, baby?"

He turned and looked back toward the gatehouse.

Brooklyn came running up to him and jumped in his arms, kissing him passionately, and then she whispered in his ear. "I mmmm you too and I never stopped."

"Thank God for small miracles and pop stars!" He set her down.

Brooklyn looked deep into his eyes and then stepped back. "My Ma always said to fall for a guy from the neighborhood or else I'd be asking for trouble."

"But you never listen to your Ma."

"Nope. You're lucky I gave you a shot."

"Look at me. You're lucky I gave _you_ a shot."

Brook busted out laughing and headed back for the gatehouse.

Dante called after her "What? You are. I'm one hot piece of ass, Brookie! Hey! Stop laughing. Hey!"

He couldn't stop smiling as he stared after her. Everyday he planned to show her how much fun they could have together and to also respect her fears and doubts, let her breathe and think and decide on her own when she was ready to try making them a forever couple.

He was old school and he believed you marry the girl from the neighborhood before she got away and became somebody else's wife, mother of his kids, and that's guy's whole world. Dante was in no rush to get hitched but when he did he wanted it to be to the girl from around the way.

(_ I need an around the way girl._

_-_

_You got me shook up,_

_shook down,_

_shook up_

_on your loving)_ (LL Cool J)

**THE END**

Note- I know this story could go on and on during his investigation but I prefer shorter stories that I know I can complete instead of long ones that may go unfinished or take a year to write.

Thanks for reading!


	178. There For You, Glo, prologue

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**March 2008**

**Prologue **

He was sure it was all a dream. Seeing her sleeping with her head on his hospital bed, and her hand clutching his.

The doctors had probably pumped him full of all sorts of drugs for pain. That happens after your ex-girlfriend bashes you in the head with a wrench. Logan Hayes was sure that explained his fantasy that Georgie Jones was in his hospital room.

He drifted back into unconsciousness, the blackness overtaking him quickly even though all he wanted to do was stay awake and keep feeling her warm hand in his. He kept drifting in and out for hours until late the next day when he finally broke completely free of his coma.

That's when his real misery started because he found out that Lulu was telling everyone he was a serial killer. The district attorney even announced it on television at a press conference. When Logan heard about that, anger rushed through his veins mixed with a pathetic sort of shame.

He knew that people thought he was capable of being a monster because he had a history of violence and because he was dumb enough to try and frame Johnny. A damn Zacchara. He should have known better than to try and bring him down in such a dumb ass way.

Its a few days later when Georgie appeared in his doorway. She lingered there with a shy look on her face. In that instant it all rushed back at him, in his mind, and he remembered imagining her being in his hospital room.

The image was so vivid that it seemed real. But he knew it couldn't be. She didn't care enough about him to sleep in his room, holding his hand, as he lay in his coma.

So much had happened since he woke up. Lulu cried and begged forgiveness. Maxie had ranted and screamed that Logan was deranged. And Scott had promised to get Logan out of trouble, no matter what he did. The fact that Scott could think for one millisecond Logan killed a string of women by strangling them sent a chill down Logan's spine. He wanted to get close with his father but it seemed like they would never get there because his father always thought the worse of him. Logan didn't dream about choking the life out of innocent women. A father should believe in his son more than that and it was a damn shame that Scott only half believed in Logan still.

It left Logan feeling like most of the world was turning against him. If not for having Cooper around to keep him sane he would have lost his mind in the fear and grief over being accused of such horrific acts.

Georgie's eyes were locked on Logan's as she watched him from the doorway. She looked uncertain of what to say.

He didn't like people staring at him since he woke up from the coma. Because every stare seemed to be asking: Did you kill those women?

Pissed off words jumped to the back of his throat. He felt like telling Georgie to stop standing there, just looking at him, for what felt like minutes but was probably not even one whole minute, really. He couldn't snap at her like that though.

Her eyes were too kind and sweet for Logan to lose his cool in that moment. Instead he let out a long breath "Come to see the prisoner?" he asked, referring to how he was handcuffed to the bed.

"You won't have to wear those cuffs for much longer." She said as she walked into the room. "My Dad doesn't believe you're the Text Message Killer anymore."

Hope flared in his chest. "Why's that?"

"New evidence came to light."

"Don't tell me another body turned up. I want to get out of this mess but not that way."

"No. Nothing like that. Its just that...someone...gave the police some information that exonerated you for the night that Leticia- she was the first victim- was attacked and for the day that Maxie was grabbed in our living room."

"Someone? Who's the someone? Coop?"

There was a long pause. "No, it was Spinelli. So you should really be nice to him from now on. He's been working very hard on this."

"I don't get it. He hates my guts and would love to see me fry. Did Lulu beg him to fix this since she's the one who got it in her head that I was some kind of killer?"

"You certainly gave her some reason to freak out when she found all that stuff in your apartment."

"That was stupid. I trying to make it look like Johnny was the killer. But just cause I did something stupid don't mean I should rot in jail for life."

"You won't. Thank Spinelli for finding footage of you being other places at the times of the murders. It was a lot of work on his part to comb through old traffic cameras and security tapes."

"You came all the way down here to tell me this? Or were you just around the hospital tonight?"

"I thought you'd want to know right away. I know I would if I was in your situation."

"You sure Spinelli is gonna go through with showing the cops the evidence? This would be his perfect chance to get back at me for all those times I knocked him around."

"He's not like that. He might not like you but he's a good man who wants the right person arrested."

"I guess I really do owe him a thanks then."

"I should go. I still have studying to do tonight."

"Thanks for coming by, Georgie. That was sweet of you."

'Hopefully you'll be getting out of here soon."

"Just a couple more days."

"That's fantastic news," she said, happily. "Well.....night!" She rushed out the door.

Logan sat there, thinking about all she said, and wondering if his fantasy of her holding his hand had been real. And if she was the one who got Spinelli to work on helping to prove Logan was innocent.

Had Georgie really done all that for him? He couldn't imagine why she would. They were barely friends at all. It was just a few short months ago when she was standing in a park yelling at him that Cooper was the TMK and he was yelling back at her that she was insane. Then he grabbed her hand, drug her to her car, cussed her out, told her to take her ass home and stop playing junior detective.

Two months after that, when more women were attacked while Cooper was with Maxie, Georgie had felt awful about what she accused him of being. A sort of truce was formed between Logan and Georgie three weeks ago- in mid February- when she asked him to forgive her mistake and he said "No problem, doll, we all make 'em."

Even though it hurt Logan that she called Cooper a killer, he couldn't hurt her back by refusing to give the forgiveness she was aching for. The days slid by and they started to talk a little more while he was eating at the diner.

But it wasn't like they were all that close. He didn't think she'd really sleep in his hospital room. That was just wishful thinking on his part.

He did that sort of thing a lot. Especially when a beautiful woman was involved. And Georgie....she was one of the most beautiful that Logan had ever met. That explained his fantastical hallucination that she was camped out in his room, holding his hand, and desperate over his health.

It was a nice fantasy but that was all it was. A fantasy. It was useless to even entertain the idea of it being anything else.


	179. There, 1

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 9th, 2008**

**Part One**

Her eyes were locked on his bare wet chest as Logan pulled himself out of the swimming pool. Georgie was sitting on a lounge chair, reading a book but spending more time watching him, while he had been swimming with Brooklyn and Spinelli.

This whole day was a set up by Georgie's best friend. Brooklyn had moved back to Port Charles for the summer and invited Georgie to stay in the gatehouse with her on the Quatermaine estate. Not one day after Georgie moved in, the guys showed up wearing swim trunks. Brooklyn had sent out emails to them, and Cooper and Maxie. But both Cooper and Maxie were off together spending a weekend at the beach.

Georgie knew what her best friend was up to. Brooklyn was sick of hearing about Georgie's ever increasing crush on Logan, and her frustration with how he had taken a job working for the Zacchara family. The last few months had been one crazy time after another. The Text Message Killer was caught- sending Georgie into a spiral of pain when she learned it was Diego Alcazar. Plus Logan had been around the Zaccharas constantly, which meant he was always in danger of being shot. He was there when their house burned to the ground.

It made Georgie upset to even think about.

She had told him over and over- when they talked while she was working at the diner- to quit that job as a nurse for Anthony Zacchara, but he would just smile and say he knew what he was doing. It was beyond frustrating for her. Everything about Logan was really. He could get her more caught up in him and his drama then anyone else on earth. She didn't know how she ended up craving the mere sight of him like she did now.

Their conversations in the last six months made her see into his heart and soul. She only wished he'd see back into hers. But it never seemed to happen. He looked right past her. If not for him coming to Kelly's they wouldn't communicate at all- beyond the funny forward e-mails he sent her every once in a while. She sent back job listings.

Logan grabbed a white, fluffy towel and dried off. He sat down on the lounge chair next to Georgie. Her heart raced as she watched a bead of water slide down him chest and over his abs. She jerked her eyes back to the page in her book.

He asked, his voice a teasing, sweet southern drawl, "Not coming in, darlin? Don't you know how to swim?"

"I can swim. I'm just not in the mood."

"Aw, come on, its summer. You got to loosen up and have a little fun."

Going in the pool would be taking off the t-shirt and shorts she had on over her suit. Butterflies raced through her at the idea of doing that in front of Logan. "I'm having fun. This is a great book."

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"Anna Karenina."

"Thrilling."

"It is."

He smirked. "If you say so." After a moment he added "It was cool of Brook to invite us over like this." He looked at the pool where Brooklyn and Spinelli were playing around- attempting to put her on his shoulders and falling over every time, then laughing. "That's a great chick you got for a best friend there."

Georgie's heart clutched. She prayed Logan was not into Brooklyn now. It was one thing to not want Georgie but to go for her friend would be heart wrenching to watch. Georgie would only blame herself if it happened though because she could have at least told him she had started to develop feelings for him.

"I'm glad you finally got to meet her."

"You enjoying living in this big ole mansion so far?"

"I didn't mind living at home but since Maxie moved out it is a little lonely there. So, yes, I'd rather be here this summer with Brook."

"Well keep inviting me over. I love this pool. And one of these times we just might get you in there too."

"Maybe."

He gave her a crooked grin. He looked down at the ground. There she had a beach bag, a bottle of water, and some sunscreen. He picked up the sunscreen. "You mind?"

"Feel free."

She nearly choked on her tongue while she watched him apply the sunscreen. Georgie forced her eyes back to the book. Brooklyn had really done it this time. Georgie would be having the most intense fantasies and erotic dreams about Logan for weeks to come now. She could already tell.

This day at the pool would do nothing to get her over him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

His life was still a mess in so many ways.

He had a good paying job that allowed him to move out of his studio apartment and into a rented house, with Cooper as his roommate, but that is just about all that was going right for him. The rest of his life wasn't any better than it usually was. And one part was decidedly worst.

He had gotten pulled into this scheme to sell prescription drugs illegally. Some of the Zacchara soldiers were behind it. They brought in the drugs with the shipments of guns that the family ran- always keeping it a secret from Anthony.

Knowing how dangerous it was for illegal drugs to be taken by people when it was unknown if the drugs were what they claimed to be, and all the side effects that might come, Logan did something he never thought he would do. He went to his father and struck a deal. He hated knowing he was a rat. But it was what it was. He didn't see that he had much choice. He couldn't let more people die over these illegal drugs. He never wanted to be in on the scheme and only went along so he could tell the cops. He hated every second of it. Working with the cops, risking his life, and worrying if someone was gonna die when they took a bad pill. He wanted to never have gotten involved in any of this.

But he did and now he was in too deep to get out.

Eventually a case would be built against the guys running the illegal drug ring. Until then Logan was stuck pretending to be a willing part of it. The whole thing put his stomach in knots daily. Not only could he get killed if anyone found out he was working with the cops, but he also had to keep reading newspaper articles about people dying over the illegal drugs. It had just been a few weeks since he went to Scott.

The cops would move in when the next shipment came into the docks. That way they would have proof beyond Logan's word for what was happening.

Logan vowed that once he was out of this latest disaster he had gotten himself into then he was getting his life together. He had been in Port Charles over a year and he was sick of constantly going from one crazy, messed up situation to the next.

Just a few months back he was actually accused of being a serial killer. Now if that didn't say it all for his life and the state it was in then he didn't know what more he could say to explain how low he had sunk. If not for Spinelli working to prove his innocence he would have been a suspect till Diego was caught, which was months after the whole thing was pinned on Logan. Cooper had been trying to find evidence too that would show it wasn't Logan strangling the women around town but he hadn't had any luck. It was Spinelli who took it upon himself to help Logan out. Logan thought the hacker did it for Lulu, but Spinelli insisted that The Blonde One, as he called her, had nothing to do with it.

Since then they had struck up a friendship.

The only part of it that was hard on Logan was that he had to stay away from Lulu or else it would lead to him and Spinelli getting into another fist fight. He had wanted to pound the kid so many times before in the past- for thinking he was so damn smart and knew it all- but now that Spinelli helped him out when he needed it most Logan knew he had to make it right between them. Logan hated the way things ended between him and Lulu- in a bloody fight that almost killed him. He thought they would be so different as a couple. For one whole year he believed she was his angel, his dream come true, and his salvation.

Since she was screwing Johnny Zacchara now it looked like Logan had been majorly wrong on that fact.

The way it all turned out left him feeling lonely and abandoned.

He spent way too much time, when he wasn't working, at Jake's or alone at his house, in the garage, fiddling with cars and the rest of his free time at the gym getting out his anger and disappointment by hitting a body bag.

That was why this day was especially relaxing for him. Hanging out with friends by an Olympic sized pool. He could get used to having days like this.

Logan grinned at Georgie, after he finishing applying sunscreen, and asked "You need to re-apply? You don't wanna get burned."

"Okay."

She took the bottle, squirted some in her hand and smoothed it over her arms and legs. Even in just a t-shirt and shorts, with her bathing suit straps visible around her neck, and her hair in a ponytail, Georgie still looked like the hottest chick in Port Charles to Logan. He knew that other guys felt the same way.

Lots of men found her to be mouth watering but she seemed to be permanently stuck on giving no guy the slightest chance to get close to her. Logan felt bad that she was making it so that she was alone. It had to be because of her ex-husband and how he hurt her. Or that disgusting Diego who had her in tears when she learned he was a killer. For a while Logan was sure it was Spinelli that Georgie really wanted but he didn't think so anymore. Spinelli and Brooklyn were getting pretty cozy in the pool and Georgie seemed to care less.

Or maybe she just hid it well. Logan didn't know what the answer was for why Georgie never accepted any dates with the college boys who asked her out. If it was Spinelli holding her back, pain over love gone wrong in the past, or if she seriously just cared about her studies too much to date.

What he did know is that he had no chance with her. He thought about the idea of them getting together a few months back- when he was at home recovering from being bashed in the back of the head by Lulu- but he quickly decided she'd never go for it.

It took Georgie six months to forgive him for the sex bet, and it took her nearly a month to ask for forgiveness for calling his best friend a serial killer, now that they were finally friendly it was a giant leap to think they could be more. Nothing between them had ever been like that. Romantic. It was more like a tense battle of wills.

Like the fact she bugged him constantly to change jobs. She always thought she had the answers to the world's problems. She was smart enough that she probably did. But Logan didn't like being told what to do.

Besides he was making good money and he'd need it when this job ended, and he was stuck testifying against half-insane and completely ruthless mob soldiers. At that point he'd be searching for a new job again and also watching his back so that he didn't die before the trial.

For right that moment though he was watching Georgie. It was hot as hell to see her massaging lotion into her skin. He wished her shirt was off so he could offer to do her back.

Shaking his head at his thoughts, and telling himself to not drool over his friend, he lay back on the lounge chair. "Brook is one lucky girl. Wish she asked me to be her roommate this summer. I could get used to living this way."

"Well if you want to come back and go swimming again feel free to- anytime."

He looked over at Georgie and smiled. "I just might take you up on that offer, darlin."


	180. There, 2

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 14, 2008**

**Part Two**

Logan was surprised, the next weekend, when he opened his front door and saw Georgie standing there with groceries. In just an hour a bunch of friends were supposed to be coming over for a cook-out. He thought that Cooper had Maxie handling the grocery shopping. Cooper wouldn't be off work for a few more hours and Logan had just gotten in from work himself. He stopped at the liquor store on the way home, loaded his truck up with alcohol and ice, and fixed some coolers on the back deck.

He smiled at Georgie. "It was sweet of you to go with your sister shopping. Come on in. I'll go grab the rest of the stuff from the car."

He looked outside and noticed it was Georgie's yellow Saturn sitting there and not Maxie's red one. He asked "She stuck you with getting supplies on your own?"

"She's working late. I didn't mind."

"Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it. I was off today. I'm just going to go stick this stuff in the fridge."

It took another ten minutes and then they had everything unpacked. Logan offered Georgie a drink. She opened a bottle of ice tea. They were standing in his kitchen in a slightly tense silence.

This happened often for them. There always, since they day they met, seemed to be weird tension between them. For a long time he thought it was her looking down on him and he hated that. But now he figured it was just leftover from all their old fights about how bad he treated Maxie, Lulu, Spinelli and Cooper, and how he felt Georgie was all too happy to judge the world, even if she was wrong about her judgments.

Though there were tense moments around Georgie, Logan still enjoyed her company. There were times when they talked and he felt like she really listened to him and understood him. That was a nice change from where they were the year before.

"So," Georgie said "who all is coming tonight?"

"Lets see, Coop, of course, when he gets done with work. Spinelli, Brook, you probably knew that though. Sam and that guy she's with."

"Lucky."

"Whatever his name is. I guess that's it. Maxie invited them."

"Cool. Is that it?"

"Nadine and Leyla might stop by. I told them to if they feel like it."

"Really? I had no clue you were even friendly with them."

"You know me, I spend too much time at Jake's for my own good. I met them while they were having what looked like a tequila drinking contest. Leyla ended up dancing on a table. She fell off and someone had to catch her.

"That someone ended up being you?"

"Just in the right place at the right time, darlin."

"That sounds like it was a wild night. So you've been friends with them since then?"

"More like drinking buddies."

"That's great. Its good to see you making more friends or buddies, whatever they are to you."

"Yeah.... I bet you're glad I met a couple more people who aren't criminals, right?"

"Right."

He knew that she hated him hanging around the guys who worked for the Zacchara family. Spinelli was the only gangster Georgie gave the time of day. She considered him different because he didn't carry a gun. As long as Logan worked for that family Georgie would forever think he was throwing his life away.

He wished he could explain to her that he planned to get away from them sooner rather than later but he couldn't. The investigation had to be kept secret. Only Cooper knew about Logan's part in trying to bring down the illegal drug ring in Port Charles- and it had to stay that way. For the safety of everyone involved.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Leyla and Nadine.

Georgie couldn't help wondering if Logan was into either of them. The idea made her stomach hurt. She knew she really should do something about having feelings for him- feelings like she wanted him naked right now, feelings like she was scared to death for him with the job he had, feelings like she wished they could have more conversations where he opened his heart to her.

She just didn't know how to bring it up. It seemed like all the feelings were only on her part. That made her feel like some stupid teenager with a crush.

If he had any interest in her he would say so. Its not like he had ever been shy. And she didn't want to throw herself on him. She was firmly stuck as a friend in Logan's mind, obviously, so the best thing to do would be get over him.

Georgie had been trying to forget about her feelings for him but it wasn't working. She decided, like she did every day, to just try harder. "You want some help getting the food started?"

"You don't got to do that. Kick back. Relax. I can handle it, girl."

"I'd like to help. How about you get the grill going and I'll work on a fruit salad and the noodle salad."

"All right, if you're sure, but holler if you need help, okay?"

"Okay, I will."

He headed out the back door to the deck. Georgie let out a long breath. Maybe it would be a good thing if Leyla and Nadine both showed up. Seeing Logan hitting on other chicks is probably just what Georgie needed to put to an end her silly little obsession over him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. Georgie went to open it and found Brooklyn and Spinelli there. They had seemed attached at the hip since Brooklyn got home. "Hey, you two!"

"Greetings, Fair and Wise Georgie."

Brooklyn walked in and hugged Georgie. "We're early. I didn't expect you'd beat us here. What's up?"

They shared a look.

"Nothing. I was just helping Logan to get ready for the party."

"Speaking of The Caterpillar, is he here in his humble abode?" Spinelli asked.

"Logan is out on the back deck."

"I shall take my leave from your duel enchanting presences then, ladies." Spinelli gave Brooklyn an adoring look and then left.

Brooklyn waited till he was gone and then turned to Georgie. Excitedly she asked "Here alone with Logan? Tell me you hooked up!"

"Shhhh! No, of course not."

Brooklyn rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Why would you want to do that, right? Its not like you're into him or anything."

"Listen to this....he invited both Leyla and Nadine here tonight. What if he's into one of them?"

"Well, they aren't here yet. The way I see it is you still have time to make him only into you. But the clock is ticking, G."

"Its way too late. He'll never see me that way."

Brooklyn sighed. "You said the same thing about Spinelli. I feel so bad that you never told him you had a crush and now...."

"Its cool. You know I'm way past him anyway."

"I know. And you'll get past Logan too, in time, if you do nothing. But why would you want to? He's hot and he's single and you like him. Go for it."

"Come help me make dinner. And, please, no more talk about this. He could overhear us."

"I hope he does! Maybe that would kick things in gear. You could go from zero to naked in fifty seconds."

Brooklyn and Georgie burst into giggles as they walked into Logan's kitchen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spinelli slipped out the back door. With a bright smile, dragging his computer bag on his shoulder, he said "Cat! How are you this fine summer evening?"

Spinelli had dubbed Logan The Caterpillar after Logan told him to never call him The Unworthy One again or their new friendship was done. He didn't like The Caterpillar- so named because he was going through a metamorphosis- that much better so Spinelli settled on Cat. Logan put up with it just because he didn't like the other choices either, such as The Angry Army Man and The Wild, Reckless One.

He didn't really like a guy having a nickname for him at all but Spinelli was like that and Logan had learned to finally take the hacker as is. If not for Spinelli and his computer skills Logan would have suffered as being known as a suspected serial killer for months. The thought of going through that always made Logan temper any annoyance he felt for Spinelli and instead think of him as a good buddy who really helped him out of a jam.

"I'm all right. How about you?"

"The Jackal is wondrous!" Spinelli did a giddy spin.

Logan smirked as he leaned against the wooden railing of the deck. "Oh yeah, you hitting it already with Brooke?"

"Do not speak so crudely of The Heavenly One. She has been sent down from above to bring light into my dark and previously dreary existence."

"So was that a yeah or nah?"

"We are not engaging in carnal pleasures but we have agreed to pursue a romantic courtship."

Logan chuckled. He hadn't heard anyone use the word courtship in all his life.

Spinelli asked "What? Do you think I'm unmanly for not immediately seeking to know her in a physical way?"

"No, not at all, man. Hey, you're getting farther than me these days. I can't get any chick to get interested in doing a single thing with me. At least not any sober chick."

"You are still healing your heart from the unfortunate liaison you and The Blonde One shared. On both sides it was just an....unmitigated...nightmare...of epic proportions...," he dramatically flung his hands around, "better left unmentioned hereafter."

"You don't got to tell me, I lived it." Logan shook his head wearily. "Lets not get into my sex life, since I ain't got one, and stick with yours. That Brooke is such a hot piece of..."

"Be aware that I will not stand for you talking about her in that manner."

Logan clamped a hand on Spinelli's shoulder. "I'm just saying she's a fine looking woman. That sexy little ass of hers. I can see what you dig about her."

"While she is quite attractive and I have taken joy in seeing her physical beauty before my eyes each day this last week, I also enjoy her mind and her ability to see into the heart of me. She's a beautiful creature, inside and out."

"You're a lucky guy, I'll tell you that. I can't believe you've got more chicks after you then me. What the hell is this world coming to?" Logan went to the cooler and opened it. He took out a beer. "By the way, two of the chicks you threw back while you were waiting out your Blonde One, are coming tonight so hope that's cool with you."

"I'm afraid I am lost about who you refer to."

"Nadine and Leyla. I know they both had a thing for you last year, right? Its cool that they'll be around tonight, ain't it?"

"It is fine with The Jackal. I only have eyes for The Heavenly One now. Besides, I am more than certain that both those amazing goddesses have long since gotten past their minor, brief interest in I."

Logan sat on a wooden bench. "You think Georgie ever had a thing for you?"

"My fair friend? I do not believe so. She's always been such a faithful companion, but that is all."

"Huh. You sure about that? She used to be all over you."

"Simple friendship. You over imagine the Jackal's prowess."

"I just don't get what keeps Georgie single, I guess. What do you think it is?"

"Maybe she is waiting for the one man to come along who she can give her full measure of devotion, body and soul, like I was previously waiting on the same. Fair Georgie believed she found that with The Incestuous One but, alas, it was a failed marriage and heartbreak he brought her. I thought I found my heart's mate in The Blonde One but it was not meant to be. Now I have found someone who sees me in the same amazing, rapturous light of impending love that I see her and soon, I hope, Georgie will find that for herself. As her friends it is up to us to keep her spirit's up till her Prince Charming comes into her life."

"Its just sad that she's alone when she's such a sweet girl."

"You do not....?"

"What?"

"Do you harbor hidden feelings for Fair and Wise Georgie?"

Before Logan could answer the back door opened, Leyla and Nadine stepped out. They said that Georgie had let them in. Not much later, Lucky and Sam showed up too. They had dinner together in the backyard while some country music and some rock played. They were on dessert- ice cream and fruit- by the time Cooper and Maxie joined them.

Logan noticed that both of them had tousled hair and happy smiles on their lips. It looked like everyone was getting some these days but him - and Georgie, he guessed he should add.

It was a shame that she would never look at him that way.

Ever since March, when he fantasized she spent the night sleeping in his room while he was in the hospital, he had been looking at her as a woman he wanted in his bed. A woman who could be all about him. And who he could finally give the love that he kept trying to give to other women but they all threw it back in his face.

But Georgie didn't like him in that way. It left Logan slightly depressed to realize that something that could have worked so good would never happen.


	181. There, 3

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 15, 2008**

**Part Three**

Georgie's hair whipped in the wind.

It was the day after Logan's cook-out. Brooklyn had invited him, Spinelli, Cooper, Maxie and Georgie out on her grandfather's speed boat. Georgie prayed that Edward was aware they were on it and that they wouldn't all be in trouble when they got back to shore.

She tried to smile, because it was a beautiful day and she was with her friends, but it was hard when she couldn't stop thinking about the party the night before. It had all gone perfect for hours. They had fun together laughing and joking. Logan complimented her on the food she made and she complimented him on the meat he grilled. Music was playing. They started a bonfire. Everyone- but her and Brooklyn and Nadine- were drinking alcohol. Then it happened.

Leyla was wasted, smiling and dancing around sexily. She grabbed Logan and kissed him. Then she blushed and said it hadn't meant a thing. She actually said "I always kiss this handsome cowboy when I'm a bit tipsy."

Everyone laughed but Georgie's laugh was faked.

As she thought about that horrible moment, she had her hands on the side of the boat, staring out onto the water. A deep, male voice rumbled against her ear. "You okay, girl?"

Since it was windy it was hard to hear unless you screamed or spoke right into the person's ear.

She shivered at the feel of Logan being so close to her. He once again only had swim trunks on. She had on a bathing suit under her sundress. Looking over her shoulder and into his eyes she mouthed "I'm fine."

But that was a complete lie.

She had told herself to get over her crush but then she cried herself to sleep because Logan and Leyla could be hooking up at that very moment. Georgie had went home before anyone else, saying she had a headache, and Leyla was still there. What if something went down between them?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was worried about Georgie. She seemed down today and he couldn't figure out why. He was just one of her many friends and it wasn't up to him to make her happy all on his own but he couldn't stand seeing

her being depressed.

When she smiled his world was a brighter, sweeter place. And when she frowned his heart ached over all he imagined she was feeling and thinking. Those were two facts that had existed for him since the day he met her. Though most things between them changed those two things never would.

When they came back from being on the lake, Brooklyn said she was going to order some pizzas. Everyone headed for her gatehouse and some air conditioning. Logan touched Georgie's arm, while they were walking past the pool, and nodded at the patio chairs.

Maxie noticed that they had fallen behind the group. She turned around and asked "Aren't you two coming?"

"In a minute," Georgie said

"I don't know why'd you stay out any longer than you have to in this weather," Maxie told her. "This humidity is a real bitch on my hair. No matter how much I spend on products I still can't avoid bad hair days when its this humid. It sucks. Somebody should air condition the outside!"

"We'll catch up," Logan told her.

"Whatever. Suit yourselves." Maxie gave Georgie a warning look but left. Maxie, Cooper, Spinelli and Brooklyn went into the gatehouse.

Georgie sat down. Logan sat in a chair next to her, put his feet on the ground, and faced her direction.

She asked "Are you doing okay?"

"I'm great, girl. Its you I wanna talk about."

"Oh."

"Something bringing you down? What's wrong, Georgie?"

"I'm just ready to leave for my semester abroad already. But I have two more months to go before it starts."

"And that's it? All of the sudden you can't wait to clear out of town? What brought that on?"

"I'm wasting away my summer. I should have took classes but Brook convinced me not to. I don't have enough to do with my time. I work and volunteer but I'm still bored. Guess you don't have that problem considering how busy your job keeps you."

"Well they hired a couple more nurse so its not like I have to be there sixteen hours a day anymore. But yeah I keep myself as busy as I can. Are you sure that's all that's the matter? You're bored?"

She stood up. "That's it."

Logan decided to spice up her life, since she was so bored and unhappy. He grabbed her and pulled her into the pool with him. Her white sundress became see through. A red bathing suit was underneath it. They came up from underwater and were both laughing.

Georgie asked "What did you do that for?"

"Fun. You've heard of it before, I know you have."

"I'm soaked."

"So what?"

She gave him a sweet smile. "We should probably dry off and get inside before everyone wonders what's keeping us."

"Hold on a minute. We ain't hardly had any fun yet, girl."

"Its sweet of you to try and cheer me up."

"I don't like seeing you sad, Georgie."

"I'll be all right. Don't give it another thought."

"You don't got to rush off. Its hot as blazes out here. Aren't you enjoying getting cooled off?"

"I would have rather jumped in myself then get pushed in but yes."

"You wouldn't have jumped in."

"You don't know that."

"Oh really? Have you ever even been off that diving board over there before?"

"Lots of times."

"Show me what you got then."

"I don't know..."

"You shy?"

"No. Its not that."

"Then go for it. I'm waiting, girl."

Georgie climbed out of the pool and stripped off her drenched white sundress. Logan had to bite back an appreciative growl at her curvy shape in her red bathing suit. At that moment he had to work overtime to remind himself they were just friends. He watched her walk over to the diving board, climb onto it and execute a perfect dive.

She called out to him. "Now its your turn unless you're worried that you can't do as well as a woman."

He grinned and jumped out of the pool. His dive wasn't nearly as flawless as hers. They ended up treading water near each other.

"Pretty good," Georgie said.

"Well I'm used to jumping off rocks near the river by where I grew up- not off diving boards in big fancy pools- so that might account for me not being as professional as you are." He smiled. "Or it could be that you do everything better than me. Yeah, that's probably it."

She giggled.

His voice dropped lower "Did I ever tell you....you're really pretty when you're happy?"

She bit her bottom lip.

He went on "But you're not happy often enough for my liking. Maybe it is Europe that you need to finally get a real smile stuck on your face. I don't know...whatever it is...I hope you get it real soon, Georgie."

"Me too," she whispered.

"Bet I can beat you to the shallow end and back. Ready, set, go," he took off while she was still daydreaming.

Probably about leaving Port Charles behind, he figured. It would be a shame when this town didn't have Georgie Jones in it anymore. He was really starting to feel like she was important to his life but the more he felt like that the more he knew he was only living in a dream world again.

For a while longer they played in the pool until the pizza delivery man walked by. Then they realized they had been out there for nearly forty minutes. They dried off and headed inside.


	182. There, 4

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 25, 2008**

**Part Four**

Logan stared through the window of Kelly's diner. It was late June now. Nearly two weeks had passed since he went swimming with Georgie. During that time he found himself getting in deeper and deeper with the rogue, pill pushing, Zacchara soldiers.

They were really starting to trust him but not to the point where he knew who their supplier was. He managed to figure out where they were storing the pills though. The warehouse was busted. Now the crew were desperate to bring in another shipment. When they did they would all be arrested.

Logan prayed his name could stay out of it till the trial**.**

At this moment he had other problems on his mind though. He was staring through the window at Georgie chatting up some dark haired man. She looked happy and she was smiling from ear-to-ear. Logan had wanted her that happy for months but now that she was, it kinda hurt to see another guy was making her that way and not him.

She seemed to be giving that stranger the same damn smile she used to give Spinelli. Like she adored him.

Logan pushed through the doors and sauntered up to the counter. "Hey, darlin. How you doing today?" He threw the guy a hard look.

"Great! Logan meet Dr. Matthew Hunter. Matthew this is Logan. Logan is best friends with Maxie's boyfriend, Cooper."

"That's cool," Matt said. "Good to meet you."

Logan stared at him like he was garbage.

Georgie said "Matt's going to be renting Maxie's room at my Dad's house. Neat, huh?"

Logan's eyes knitted. The house Georgie might one day live in again. "What's that?"

Matt said "Its just temporary."

Logan said "They don't pay doctors good no more?"

"I have student loans." He smiled at Georgie and she nodded, as if she completely understood his plight.

Logan was ready to pay off those loans just to keep Matt far from Georgie's home. Even if that meant robbing a bank to get the money. Thank God Georgie moved in with Brooklyn. Logan wouldn't get a good's night sleep again if her and Matt were under one roof.

In that moment he knew he more than wanted Georgie, like he wanted to sleep with plenty of women had had known in his lifetime, he really had fallen for Georgie in a deeper way than he even knew before then.

Georgie asked "So can I get you some coffee?"

"Sure," Logan said, as he took a seat. He glared at Matt.

It sucked to know that someone like Matt could make Georgie absolutely light up and Logan couldn't.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

That weekend they found themselves having a party at the gatehouse. The usual people were there: Logan, Georgie, Cooper, Maxie, Sam, Spinelli, Brooklyn, Nadine, Leyla, and the nurses had brought Matt along. Some of Brooklyn's friends from down in Bensonhurst, where she grew up, drove up for the weekend too.

Logan once again noticed that Georgie was looking depressed.

At first he had been glad when he saw that Nadine had such an interest in Matt but now he was torn. If Georgie wanted Matt, what kind of friend would Logan be if he was thrilled about the fact she couldn't have him?

Logan still believed, deep down, she had wanted to date Spinelli. Now Spinelli was with her best friend. Logan then saw Georgie smile at Matt the same way she did Spinelli before. With a sweet adoration, as if he was some awesome guy who she had so much in common with.

It must be hurting Georgie to see Nadine all over Matt doing some kind of strange I-hate-you, I-want-you, come closer, go away thing with him.

Leyla was doing her usual routine of drinking too much tequila and inappropriately kissing people. Logan had barely avoided her lips landing on his again. It wasn't that he didn't find her beautiful, he did, but his head was all wrapped up in Georgie.

Maybe after she went to Europe Logan could move on. He knew he couldn't with her right across the room.

She headed upstairs. He waited a moment, untangled Leyla from his arms, made an excuse and followed Georgie. He glanced in the open doorways but she wasn't in the bedrooms. That left the bathroom. After a while she came out. She looked like she had been crying.

He was holding a bottle of beer and leaning against the hallway wall.

"I'm sorry, darlin."

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong."

"You're upset tonight."

"I'm fine." She started to walk past him.

Logan gently took hold of her arm and stilled her steps. "You're lying."

She looked away.

He said "I think I know what this is about."

She tensed.

Logan went on "Any guy that has a chance with you and don't take it is a first rate jackass. But some things just ain't meant to work out between two people. Its not you or anything you've done. Don't feel bad."

"I don't feel like discussing this, okay?"

"Let me toss him out on his ass, girl. Just say the word and its done."

She turned her head and met his eyes. "Who?"

"Matt. Ain't that who you're teary over?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Matt.

Georgie would laugh if she wasn't so damn sad. Somehow Logan got it into his head she was jealous over Matt. She had no clue what gave him that idea. Sure she was nice to Matt but he was new in town and he was lonely for home. He needed someone to be nice to him.

She was upset because every time she saw Leyla and Logan together it seemed like the woman was throwing herself on him, and then acting like she wasn't interested when she got sober again. Considering they were drinking buddies, Georgie shuddered to think how many times Leyla might have kissed Logan already or maybe even taken him home with her.

Feeling sick of keeping all her feelings bottled up inside, Georgie raised her hand and caressed Logan's stubbly cheek. "No," she whispered "its not Matt...its you."

He froze. His eyes searched hers. Her heart started beating out of control in her chest. She felt light headed. Logan leaned just a fraction closer to her.

She sucked in a quick, short breath as she imagined his lips pressing against hers.

And then Spinelli came bounding down the hall. "Friends! How are you doing this glorious evening? The Jackal is having a marvelous festive time with his companions. Love is in the air. Smell its fragrant aroma. Is it not magnificent?"

Georgie turned to Spinelli. She opened her mouth to respond but before she could Logan ground out "Later, Jackal, okay?" Then he grabbed Georgie's hand and pulled her into her bedroom.

"But of course," Spinelli sang out "a later time would be agreeable. Do not let me disturb your encounter."

The room they went into was pitch black. Logan closed and locked the door. Georgie turned on a small bedside lamp. She let out a shaky breath. "Listen, this is my problem, not yours, and I'll deal with it."

"Your problem, huh?" His voice was confused and hurt. He set down the bottle of beer on the dresser. "Why don't you explain why its such a problem that you want me."

"Because nothing is going to happen between us, that's why. Can we just go back to the party now?" She headed for the door.

He pulled her close to him. She couldn't even breath or think with their bodies pressed together that way.

He whispered to her "Talk to me, girl."

Staring into those pale, completely breath stealing, eyes of his made her go weak. Seeing how concerned he was for her- probably feeling sorry for her- made her tear up.

Georgie admitted "It hurts to see you with Leyla but its nothing for you to worry about. You never led me on. I started this all on my own and its up to me to get over it on my own."

"Oh, Georgie," Logan murmured.

Using his two thumbs he wiped her tears away. Then he leaned his forehead against hers. "There's nothing going on between me and that woman- not on my part anyway. I hope you'll believe me, girl, cause I ain't lying to you. And I ain't hooking up with her in any sort of way."

"You can do whatever you want," Georgie whispered. "Don't feel like you have to sugar coat this for me."

"I can do whatever I want?" he asked, in a throaty, frustrated tone. "Fine, girl, this is what I want." He caught her lips in a kiss.

Her arms wound around his neck. She pressed closer to him. This moment felt so good and right to her. Logan's lips against hers. The loneliness in her disappearing in an instant. It was like she was warmed from the inside out.

They fell back onto the bed, still kissing, and Georgie rolled on top of Logan. She broke away, gasping for air, and looked down at him. "Wow."

He grinned. "You don't got to cry over me, girl. Just talk to me. Be with me. Let me spend some more time with you. I really want that. So bad, Georgie. You don't even know how long I wanted you."

"Really?"

"Ever since I was in the hospital. Everyday. I was so bad off I was imagining you coming to stay with me there overnight when I was in that damn coma."

Georgie rolled off Logan. Laying on her back next to him she said "You didn't imagine that."

He laid on his side. His hand reached out and took hers. "No?"

Nibbling on her bottom lip for a moment, Georgie then said "It just bothered me so much that my Dad and Ms. Davis were calling you a killer."

"More people than that were."

"I know. And it wasn't fair. You're the one who knew all along it couldn't be Cooper and I knew it couldn't be you, either. So I got Spinelli to prove it and I visited you at night when no one else was around, because you shouldn't be alone and because I already....was starting to like you more and more."

"You got Spinelli to clear my name? Why didn't he ever tell me that? I don't get what the big secret was."

"Don't be mad at him. He kept it to himself because I asked him to and because we both liked seeing you relax around him and start to be nice to him. We didn't want to ruin that. I didn't need credit for asking Spinelli to help. He still did all the real work."

Logan brought his mouth close to hers. Their lips brushed against each other's sensually. He murmured, staying right against her lips, "Why didn't you say anything months ago? Is it cause of my stupid job that you didn't wanna be with me?"

"You never saw me as someone to date. I didn't think you did, at least."

"You got it all wrong about how I see you. For over three months I've been dreaming about kissing you. You've been the only woman in my head."

Then he started kissing her again, making Georgie believe all he was saying was true, and making her feel like she didn't have to worry about Leyla Mir any longer.

Leyla couldn't get in between Georgie and Logan. They were finally getting honest with each other and it felt better than anything had felt in years.


	183. There, 5

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 27, 2008**

**Part Five**

**Logan couldn't believe** how fast things changed with Georgie. One moment he was sure she'd never give him a chance and the next she was saying she had wanted him even longer than he wanted her.

Now that they had admitted their feelings they couldn't pry themselves out of her bed. They kept kissing for well over an hour.

He didn't push her for more because she was too special to him to rush into sex in the middle of a party with their friends nearby. He wanted to treasure her. The idea that she had wanted to be with him for months turned him on so bad, had him absolutely hooked on her, that he couldn't imagine what he would do when September came and he had to watch her leave for Europe.

Logan was completely hot for Georgie and into the idea that they would start dating now.

Their kisses abruptly stopped when they heard a woman drunkenly giggling in the hallway. They stayed quiet till they heard the bathroom door close and then Georgie whispered "Do you think everyone knows we're in here together?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Would that bother you?"

She caressed his cheek. "I want everyone to know we're going to date because then Leyla might just have a good reason to keep her hands off you from now on."

Logan grinned. "I'll talk to her. Don't give it another thought. I swear she ain't more than a friend to me. I wouldn't do you wrong, girl."

"I know you're changed a lot in this last year and so have I. I've gotten past a lot of the old pain, though some of it I'm still working on, and you've learned to treat yourself and your friends better. And, believe me, we're all grateful for that."

He chuckled. Logan brought his lips to hers and they started kissing again for a long while. The party downstairs seemed to finally be dying down. They heard cars starting and driving away. Logan broke their kiss. "What do you think? Should I take off? Its get pretty late."

"Okay. If you need to get home."

"I don't need to, Georgie."

"You could sleep here if you want, just sleep though. Only if you want and that's cool with you."

Laying on his back he said "Get over here, girl." She curled against his side.

He stroked her hair. The moment grew emotional for him. She really trusted him and he couldn't have been happier to know that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie felt so safe resting there on Logan's chest. And loved. Which blew her mind. For all the ways she tried to talk herself out of them being together, now that they were it felt right. They were starting a new chapter in their friendship and she hoped it proved to be the best one so far.

The feel of his hand stroking her head was comforting and soothing. Though it didn't lull her into a dream filled sleep. No way. She was too excited about having her body tangled up with his muscular one.

"I'm glad you're into the idea of us, Logan. I didn't think you would be. I don't know why. It just seemed like we were too different and too much happened already."

"I can get over the past if you can."

"I'm fine with all that happened because it was us getting to know each other. The real parts that strangers don't see when we meet them. I feel like we know each other so well, don't you?"

"Yeah. But we don't know it all. We got to get honest, girl. You said you wanted to date me since before I got hurt but I had no clue."

"You were still into Lulu back then. And still mad at me about what I accused Cooper of."

"Stop blaming yourself for that. You were terrified about that killer being on the loose. You let your fear make you think crazy things. I do that sometimes. Its all right. I've long forgiven you and I told you that."

"I know," she whispered.

"Half of this is my own damn fault. The day I went home from the hospital I wanted to call you so bad and tell you about me thinking you were in my hospital room but I blew it off. I figured I was just drugged up and wanted someone there who believed in me. I should have made that call back then."

"Its okay. We got a chance to know each other better this way. We were still on shaky ground back then." She looked up at him. "But not anymore, right?"

"Not for me." He grinned.

She stretched up and kissed him. "Me either. I'm right where I want to be."

"Can I ask you something kinda personal?"

"I guess so. "

"When you were turning down all those guys that asked you on dates the last six months-"

"All what guys? There were only a few."

"More than a few by my count. I don't think you even get when guys are hitting on you. It would work my last nerve to see those college boys in that diner drooling on you, asking you to this or that crappy event down at PCU-like art shows and plays."

"I like that stuff."

"But you never went. Was that because you were waiting on me?"

"I know it seems dumb that I'd do that and say nothing to you but I just didn't think you'd care. And I liked becoming your friend. I didn't want it to be weird between us."

"I love that you picked me over them. And that you're not playing games about that."

"What I love is that you're here tonight with me, Logan."

He squeezed her gently for a moment. "We're not gonna be the kind of couple who play dumb mind games with each other, okay? Lets just admit we both want this and want it to work....to really last and be special."

She scooted up on the bed so she could bring her mouth to his and give him a deep, sensual kiss. Whispering against his lips, she said "I want that."

It meant a lot to her that his hands didn't roam all over her body. She wanted that but she loved how he respected her. It was important for them to have that. It would make her be more relaxed when they did make love if he let her go at her own pace with no pressure.

She used to think that Logan would let her down and disappoint her at every turn- especially last fall when everything was so crazy and messy in his life- but now he was doing the opposite. He was surprising her in a good way every time.

His kisses made her weak with lust. Just like she always imagined they would.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The feelings swirling around in him were powerful and life changing. So many times in the past Logan wanted someone to feel all that Georgie did for him, someone to say _I want only you _and _I believe in you _and _I'll do whatever it takes for us to work._ No one had said that to him before tonight when she was saying that with her kisses and words.

He didn't care if they were rushing into a relationship before they even had a first date. He liked knowing they were gonna be together for the next two months, at least, till she went to Europe. He knew he'd wait for her during her semester abroad- she was so worth waiting for- and he hoped she'd be true to him.

Georgie was the type of person that rarely gave her heart away so Logan felt honored that she was opening it to him. He felt like she saw him as the amazing man he always prayed he could turn into but never felt like.

Until the moment, earlier tonight, when she said "Its not Matt...its you."

Then he was amazing in every way. Because Georgie wanted him.

They kept kissing for long minutes until they were so overheated that Georgie pulled away. She was breathing heavily. Her eyes were lit up with hunger for him. He found that incredibly hot.

"I think I better go tell Brooklyn you're sleeping over. Just to be respectful because this is her family's house. I know she won't mind though."

"Okay, girl."

Georgie left the room. Logan let out some short breaths. He grinned. He was very hard but he would have to get over it because he didn't want to push Georgie too far too fast. She was five years younger than him, not as experienced, and his precious girl. He would do right by her, so help him God.

When she came back they curled up together and after talking for a while more they finally fell asleep. Logan knew he could get very used to sleeping holding her.


	184. There, 6

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 28, 2008**

**Part Six**

The next morning Georgie woke up to Logan gently shaking her awake. She smiled at him. He was sitting on her bed.

"I got to go into work, girl."

She whispered, her voice filled with concern, "Be careful today."

He kissed her cheek. "Always."

Georgie gave him a tight hug. She didn't want to leave go but after a few moments she did. Logan stood up.

"I'll call you later, okay?"

"I have to volunteer today and then work till ten."

"All right. You wanna hang out afterwards? Watch some movies at my place? I know it ain't a proper date yet but-"

"I'd love to."

"Cool." He stared at her for a long moment. "Okay, I better go."

"Okay."

Logan headed for the door. Georgie watched him as he left. Then she lay back in bed and grinned widely. She could still smell him on the pillow. She wanted to have a lot more mornings when she could do that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night when Georgie pulled up in Logan's driveway she could see him through the window of the house. He was moving around nervously- lighting some candles, fluffing the couch cushions and spraying room deodorizer. She giggled.

She looked in the mirror on her visor to check her hair and make-up and then she left the car. She had brought clothes to work to change into so she didn't have to wear her Kelly's uniform over to his house.

Instead she had on some jeans and green blouse.

Georgie didn't even have to knock on the door. Logan pulled it open first.

His eyes searched hers. "Hey there."

"Hi."

There was a nervousness in the air as she walked inside. Georgie asked "Coop not home? I didn't see his SUV in the driveway."

"He's somewhere with your sister, as usual."

Georgie walked over to the couch and sat down.

He sat down next to her. "How was your day?"

"Boring."

"Well lets make your night a lot better then."

She smiled widely. "I'd like that."

They settled on a movie. Logan turned off the lights in the room. After twenty minutes she noticed he was staring at her instead of the screen.

Georgie looked at him. "I think you're missing the plot."

He pointed at the TV. "That fat slob got that hot chick pregnant."

"He's not that fat."

"He's not that skinny either."

Georgie chuckled. "Its a good movie if you give it a chance."

"I think I get the gist," he said, as he leaned over and gave her a short kiss.

Logan moved back but Georgie followed him and ended up laying on him as they kept kissing. All day long she had missed these kisses. Missed the taste of him. The feel of his hard body pressed against her.

Knowing she wanted him. Knowing their kisses weren't awkward but instead with sweet, sensual, needy, little revelations of how their hearts beat for each other now.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan ran his hand down Georgie's back as she lay on top of him. They kissed tenderly for long minutes.

When she came to his place tonight he didn't know what to expect. He wasn't sure that spending all day away from him hadn't suddenly made her change her mind about them.

The second she walked through the door he had ached to kiss her.

Waiting as long as he could stand, but thinking of her lips against his for every moment, he lasted thirty minutes before he just had to bring his mouth to hers or else he feared losing his mind.

Then Logan had pulled back, determined to give Georgie space and treat her right, not throw her down and make-out every time he saw her. But she kissed him in the next moment and crawled onto him.

Thank God. Cause he was dying to have her body pressed to his another time. To feel her tongue darting through his mouth.

To hear her breathless, soft moans as their kisses grew more intense.

He was so lost in the feel and taste of her- so seductive with her gorgeous body and so healing with her beautiful spirit- that he didn't even hear the door open.

"Coop!" Maxie cried. "He's all over my sister."

Georgie bounded up. She scooted away from Logan on the couch. Her face was beet red. She wiped at her mouth.

Logan sat up. Giving Maxie a stern look he said "Don't start."

Maxie shot back "Don't tell me what to do. You better talk fast and I better like what I hear. I want to know what your intentions are with my sister."

Logan opened his mouth.

Georgie held up a hand. "Don't answer that." She stood up. "Maxie, can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

Georgie headed through the kitchen and onto the back deck. Huffing and throwing Logan a dirty look, Maxie followed.

Cooper closed the front door. "Sorry about that. I wouldn't have brought Maxie over if you gave me a head's up."

"Don't worry about it, buddy. She had to find out sooner or later."

"It looks like you and Georgie are moving fast."

"Not too fast."

Cooper nodded. He sat in a nearby chair. After looking at the TV he asked "Isn't that the hot blonde from Grey's Anatomy?"

"You'd think that would make this movie hot but it don't."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do me a favor-" Georgie said to Maxie, as they stood on the back deck.

"I already did you a favor last night when I didn't beat down your bedroom door after we all figured out that Logan was in there with you. And that was not easy! Cooper actually picked me up and carried me out of the party. But I didn't make him take me back and I could have if I wanted to."

Georgie blushed. "Thank you for giving us our privacy."

"I don't think I like this. You and Logan. Mac and Robin were hoping you'd go for Matt. While I don't see a thing sexy about that guy he's a lot more stable than Logan. Logan is really emotional and that can get ugly quick. I don't want you hurt."

"I know. And I love that you're so protective. But I'm an adult and this is my life and my choice. The favor I need is for you to respect my feelings for Logan. I've wanted to date him for months now. This isn't something that's going away in a few days."

"I hope you know what you're getting into with him. What if it doesn't work out? He really can't be hurt again. You know how hard it is for him when that happens."

"I don't plan to hurt him and I don't expect him to hurt me."

"That's freaking optimistic, considering everything."

"I have to leave for my semester abroad in six weeks. I just want to enjoy being with him till then so don't stress me out by telling me all the reasons I should forget about him. I'm really happy today. Because of Logan."

Maxie let out a breath. Her features softened. She hugged Georgie. "He better be good to you, that's all I'm saying! Or else."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Maxie, Georgie, Logan and Cooper watched the end of _Knocked Up _together. Logan finally got into it, laughing at the parts where the husband had to sneak to be part of a Fantasy Football league. He couldn't focus on it before cause all he was thinking about was kissing Georgie. Since her sister being around put a crimp in that plan, Logan went back to watching the flick and found it to not be half bad.

He was right. That hot blonde from Grey's did make anything she was in better. He wouldn't call her the best actress around but she sure was something to look at.

Maxie and Cooper headed off for his room. Georgie looked at the clock. It was nearly 1 am. "I should head home. Walk me out?"

With a sweet smile, Logan took her hand and led her out to her car. He raised his other hand and held her cheek, as he gently kissed her. "Thanks for coming over."

"I had a great time."

"Great, huh? Better than good but not quite phenomenal. Maybe we ought to shoot for phenomenal next time. Legendary. Unforgettable. What do you say? Ready for our first real date, girl?"

"More than ready. What do you have in mind?"

"When are you off work again?"

"Tomorrow night."

He grinned. "Okay. Tomorrow then you put on your best dress and I'll pick you up at eight for dinner."

Georgie smiled widely. "I look forward to that."

Logan chuckled. He leaned against her car and crossed his arms over his chest.

With amusement in her tone, Georgie asked "What's so funny?"

"Us. If somebody told me at this time last year we'd ever get together I would have called them crazy."

"You probably would have asked Who? Georgie? Never heard of her," she joked.

Even though they had known each other for almost four months in late June of 2007, they were just acquaintances then. It wasn't till after the sex bet that their lives became more intertwined and all their fighting started. Then the nightmare of the Black and White Ball happened and the Text Message Killer kept them all terrified for six months. It was really that horror that broke through the last barrier for Logan and Georgie getting to know each other.

"Not true," Logan answered, in response to her saying he barely knew her name last year. "Believe me I took notice of you from go. But I had a lot of crazy things on my mind back then. Because I was into finding out about Scott's life I started following Lulu around. She almost became his step-daughter a long while back. She was someone who would know all about him that I could chat up without having to tell her what I was up to. That took up most of my days when I first got to town. And then I started to care about her for more than anything to do with Scott. Once that happened my life really became a mess." He stared at her for a long moment. "What do you think would have happened if we got together last summer? Do you think we would have made it and we'd still be together?"

"I don't know, Logan. On one hand, you were going through so much turmoil and pain and always acting out. It didn't make me like you or trust you to see you lose your cool that way. So I don't know how we could have gotten together. But if we did then I like to think that you would have believed in us enough to stay away from Maxie and to really lean on me. And I would have trusted you enough to tell you how bad it hurt when Dillon left town and he said his last goodbye to Lulu right in front of me."

Logan pulled her into his arms. He rubbed his hands up and down her back. "I'm sorry that happened to you, girl. I'll kick his ass if I ever see him again."

She chuckled softly. "Please don't. I'll always care about him but its long over for us now. I actually got past him a while ago."

"And moved onto The Jackal, right?"

Georgie jerked back and looked up and into Logan's eyes. "What makes you say that?"

"I'm sorry. I should have kept my mouth shut."

"Too late now. Go ahead. What gave you the idea I used to be into Spinelli?" Her tone was fragile and embarrassed.

"Don't pay me no mind. I was sure you were into Matt too. I'm the jealous type. You know that, darlin."

"Logan."

"I just saw how happy you always were to be around him. It drove me nuts. First Lulu acted like he was a God and then you. Spinelli could do no wrong. Can you blame me for wanting to knock him out every time he smarted off to me? Not that I feel like that still cause I don't. I got over it cause he helped me out when I needed it."

Georgie's eyes fell. "I did have a little mini-crush on him but its done. I promise you that I let those feelings go around last Christmas. He was at the hospital Christmas party and.....I saw Leyla kiss him under some mistletoe. Nadine was his date to the Ball. Leyla was kissing him a month later. I was just his Fair friend and that's all I was ever going to be so I let it go. I never told him and I really wouldn't want to. It seems silly now that I really thought we were going to get together. But I did."

"Your secret is safe with me."

He really had wanted to know, for sure, that his suspicions were right. For a while Georgie had been crazy over Spinelli. But it wasn't for as long as Logan suspected. Instead the truth was more complicated. First she was getting over Dillon, then she crushed on Spinelli but he was never interested in her back, and then she slowly started to fall for Logan.

It was messy- the way it all happened- and would have spared them so much pain if Logan just fell for Georgie when he moved to Port Charles. But he hadn't. They had to go through their hurt and their drama and overcome their fears of rejection before they could get together.

It took a long year and three months for that to happen but it finally had. And Logan couldn't be happier.

"Come back over here, girl, and give me some sugar."

With a sweet smile, she brought her lips to his and they kissed good-night.


	185. There, 7

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 29, 2008**

**Part Seven**

Georgie couldn't believe the romantic evening Logan gave her. It meant so much to her to see the effort and planning he put into it.

First they went to a fancy five star restaurant in Rochester where they had a dinner then they went to a club that had salsa dancing. Professionals were giving lessons to the beginners. Georgie giggled at the sight of Logan attempting to learn the steps. It was a moment she would never forget. How he did that to make her smile. She knew he had no interest in ever learning a dance move outside of the ones used in country bars to Georgie Strait songs. But he thought she would like salsa dancing because he believed she was very into foreign cultures and their customs.

She found it adorable that he listened to her so well and then acted on what he learned about her.

The best part of the evening though is when they went on a midnight helicopter ride. It was exhilarating. She loved looking down at the city at night with it all lit up. She worried about how much it cost though. Because he made his money working for gangsters and she wanted him to quit, not spend all his cash on her.

Still she loved it and she was smiling from ear-to-ear when he walked her to the door of the gatehouse. "I think you pulled it off. I think you made tonight phenomenal, just like you promised."

"Yeah, darlin? I sure hope so. You deserve nothing but the best."

She looped her arms around his neck. "Lucky for me that the best guy around....wants me as much as I want him." Then she brought her lips to his.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The best guy around.

Those words warmed Logan's very soul. It made him feel so good to know she thought that about him. It might not hardly be close to true but it didn't matter if he was really the smartest, wealthiest, sanest, most secure in himself and most level headed man around. Georgie believed he was the best man for her and that's all Logan cared about.

When she broke their kiss, Georgie asked "Want to come in for a while?"

Leaning close to her, he teased "You don't even got to ask me that ever again. Just drag me inside because there is no way I'd ever say no to an offer like that."

She giggled and opened the door, pulling him in. They kissed and then they heard, from the couch, "Greetings fair friends!"

Georgie and Logan jumped apart. Looking over he spotted Spinelli sitting there.

"Oh, hi!" Georgie cried, blushing.

"Hey, Jackal, what's up?"

"I'm having a wondrous evening with The Heavenly One. She's in the kitchen partaking in the making of stove top popcorn which she assures me is much preferred to the microwave brand I always indulge in. Would you two like to join us?"

Logan really would rather just go up to Georgie's bedroom but he doubted she would want to do that with Spinelli there, perfectly aware of what they were up to. Logan worried that would embarrass her. He knew she was slightly embarrassed by them ducking out of the party to make out a few days before- even though she said she didn't care who knew that they were in her room together.

He said "Sure. Sounds good."

Georgie told Logan "I'm going to go talk to Brooke real quick, okay?"

Logan nodded. Georgie left the room. Spinelli waited till she was gone and said "It seems that my Fair and Wise Friend has, indeed, found the man who holds her glass slipper in his hand."

"Huh?"

"Her Prince Charming. You. The Caterpillar is indeed growing into a butterfly right before my very eyes. What a magical time for all of us, is it not? Me and my Heavenly One. You and Fair Georgie. Kismet. Fate. Who could have foretold this turn of events? Not I, The Jackal, I assure you."

"Not me either. Its crazy, ain't it?"

"It is unexpected but wonderful. Though you and I formerly had our problems I want to let you know that I really am glad for you and Fair Georgie. To see her so happy brings joy and light to the Jackal's heart."

"I plan to keep her happy too. This time I'm not screwing up a good thing."

"Either shall I. We've both been led astray before by fates we believed to be destined that were just dead ends. And though I would not trade a moment of those, ultimately, failed attempts at love.....I'm glad to be past them now. To be united with a woman who brings my heart such contentment. It seems your heart is equally content with Fair Georgie, is it not?"

"Yeah, totally."

"So was I right when I believed that you were harboring secret feelings for her of a romantic nature for a while now?"

"You hit the bull's-eye with that one, man. It was a dumbass move not to just say something months ago."

"Live and learn, Cat."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie walked into the kitchen and hugged Brooklyn. Brooke smiled "Let me guess? The date was awesome?"

"It was perfect!"

"You should have hooked up with him months ago. You should look in a mirror and see how happy you are, G. I don't care if that guy used to be half crazy and a cheater, he's making you happy and I love him for that."

"And Spinelli is making you happy."

"He's great! Nobody else is like him. It's gonna suck when I got to go back to the city to work again at the end of summer. But that's then, not now, so I'm not gonna let that bring me down." She finished up the popcorn.

Georgie ate a piece.

Brooklyn said "We're gonna play Wii. You and Logan in?"

"Not tonight. Sorry."

Brook grinned. "Don't be sorry. About time you had some real fun with a hot as hell guy."

Georgie giggled and headed back into the other room to find Logan and Spinelli already bowling. After they finished and Brooklyn came out with popcorns and orange soda for her and Spinelli, Georgie grabbed Logan's hand and pulled him up the stairs.

They started kissing in the hall, smiling and chuckling against each other's lips, as they walked backwards toward her room. They stumbled into the room. Logan closed and locked the door. When he turned back to Georgie she looped her arms around his neck, in the darkened room, and asked "You didn't really want to play video games, did you?"

"More than this? Hell no."

They made their way to the bed and kept kissing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was completely caught up in kissing Georgie. He had no idea how much time had gone by but he knew it must had been a while. They were both getting more and more breathless as they kissed and sucked on each other's necks. He didn't try to move his hands to caress her body or try to get her out of her clothes. He wanted her to let him know when she was ready. He felt like going slow was the best way for Georgie to know her heart and body were safe with him.

He knew she could feel the proof of how bad he wanted her pressing against her as they kept making out.

Finally Georgie paused. Gasping for breath, her fingers played in his hair as she clutched the back of his head. She whispered "I hope you're not mad that we're not doing more."

"Shhh, girl." He sucked on her earlobe. "Don't think like that. We've got all the time in the world."

Georgie slid one hand down Logan's body and slipped it between them so she could rub him. He let out a soft moan at this first tentative touch she gave him. Georgie eased him onto his back. Kissing his neck, while her hand gently rubbed against the bulge in his pants, she said "I want to do a little more, if that's okay with you."

Through clenched teeth he said, as his body shivered with lust, "Go for it, girl."

She smiled against his throat as her fingers went to work on undoing his belt and pulling it off. Then she unbuttoned his pants. Moving down lower on the bed, she unzipped him. Logan's body went rigid.

He hadn't really expected this and he didn't want her to feel like she had to. Brushing his hand against her cheek, he cupped her face and forced her to look up at him. "You sure?"

Georgie gave him a sweet smile with hunger laying there in the depths of her brown eyes. It made all his worries disappear to see she was into this and not just doing it for him. She started to tug down his pants as she murmured "Mmm-hmmm." Moving to the end of the bed she pulled off his shoes. Next came down the boxers, revealing him to her for the first time.

She sucked in a deep breath and gulped. Her eyes were locked on the long, hard length of him. Logan was letting in and out shaky breaths.

When her fingers first touched him his hips jerked. There was something so powerful about the idea of Georgie...sweet, soft, giving, hopeful, burned by love before.... being willing to trust her heart to him and ready to go here with him. As far as he knew it had been nearly two years since she was with anyone- since her marriage busted up- and though she hadn't crushed on just Logan since then she only got this far with him.

It made him feel like he was a much better man then he used to believe he was. Because Georgie was making him her man.

His body was wracked with pleasurable sensations when she stroked his shaft. He fought to keep his moans very soft because he knew other people were in the house. Long minutes later, Logan choked out "Oh, God, Georgie..." as he got very close to coming. His eyes were closed and his hips were thrusting up every time she moved her hand. Her tongue darted out and circled the head of dick one time. That sent him over the edge and he started to come.

He let out a cry of pleasure.

Logan was panting breathlessly still, with his eyes closed, when he felt Georgie curl her body against his side. He looked at her and saw a tender smile on her lips. Logan gave her a sweet kiss. After holding each other for a while, Georgie whispered "You can sleep over if you want."

He loved the one night he spent holding her- knowing she wanted him with her all night like that- and he wanted to stay again. It made him feel important to be the man who Georgie let be there when she slept. "Yeah, girl, I wanna." Logan sat up. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Be right back."

"I bought you a toothbrush. Its in the medicine cabinet. Its the unopened one."

"That was sweet of you, doll."

He tugged back on his boxers and pants then left the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

A while later, Georgie laughed as she heard Logan dart from the bathroom to her bedroom- obviously eager to not be seen by Brooklyn- and when he came into the room she saw why. He wore only his boxers and his skin was slightly damp.

She had changed into a pair of cotton shorts and a matching pink cotton tee to sleep.

Logan dropped his clothes on a chair that was by a desk. "This okay, girl?" he asked, referring to what he was wearing.

Their eyes met across the room that was only lit by moonlight.

"Perfect," Georgie told him.

He crossed the room and climbed back in bed. She lay with her head on his chest and her leg thrown over his leg. Her hand lightly caressed his abs. Her body was throbbing with desire. Just seeing him nearly naked and feeling his muscular body pressed to hers had her aching for relief. But she wanted them to be even more involved and more sure of their feelings for each other when they made love. She wanted them both confidant that they were right together, in love, and going to last for a long time.

Logan had been so good about not trying to massage her breasts or slip his hand between her thighs that she was surprised when he lightly smacked her ass, while they lay there. She let out a happy yelp and looked at him.

He said, in his deep southern drawl, "I'm liking those shorts you got on."

She gave him a tongue tangling kiss to show him that she loved his compliment. He gripped her ass with both hands as she lay on him. Georgie felt heat ricochet through her as he did that. She let out a throaty moan and rolled off him. "We should get some sleep."

It was after two am now.

Logan spooned her. "Come here, beautiful," he murmured as he pulled her against him.

She could feel how he was starting to get hard again. Georgie arched her back and let out a soft moan as his hardness pressed against her ass. She whispered "Maybe waiting is stupid."

His arm was over her waist. He tightened his hold on her so they were even more mashed together. "Its not, Georgie. Trust me on this one, okay?"

"I do trust you."

He kissed her neck. She could tell how much her words meant to him. He held her tightly and she felt safe and loved. And so turned on. But there would be time to make love. Tonight was for getting to know each other better.

After a long moment, Georgie said "Talk to me. Tell me something I don't know about you."

"Hmm...lets see, girl....."

"What do you want to do with the rest of your life?"

"Stay in this bed with you."

She giggled. "Be serious."

"I don't know. None of my plans ever work out. There was a time I thought I'd be a doctor one day but that ain't ever happening now cause I just can't see doing all that schooling....and I thought about opening a garage but I don't know that I really wanna....all I know is I wanna stop messing up so much. Make something of myself. Even if I don't know what."

"So you do want to get out of your job for the Zaccharas?"

This was their constant- everyday- argument. How dumb it was to tell Ric Lansing yes when he offered Logan a position as personal nurse for Anthony.

"I'll get out, Georgie. Give me time."

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

"How much time?"

"Not that much longer, I swear."

"What's stopping you from quitting tomorrow?"

"I want to get something else lined up before I quit."

"Okay."

"Something legal," he added.

She smiled. Her body felt much more relaxed now since they had been talking and taking her mind off- a little bit- how much she wanted to get naked with him. "You know I'm thrilled to hear that."

He kissed her neck. "Night, sweetie."

"Good night, Logan."

She didn't fall asleep for a long time but it was nice to be awake and be held by him in the dark.


	186. There, 8

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 30, 2008**

**Part Eight**

Georgie loved waking up to see Logan's face hovering above her. His eyes looking down at her with soft adoration filling them, as the early morning sunlight filled the room.

He had gently shaken her awake, just like the last time he was there. Logan had to be in very early for his job as a nurse for Anthony Zacchara. And he didn't want to leave without saying good-bye.

Logan told her "I need to get home and change for work."

Sleepily, she whispered "Okay." She sat up and hugged him. "Be safe today."

"I will, girl."

Georgie let go. She snuggled beneath the sheet again. He brushed a kiss against her cheek. He told her "Last night was a fantastic first date."

"I loved it. Seriously. I'll never forget a second of it."

His eyes held hers for a long moment. He gave her a small grin. "We're gonna have lots a fantastic nights. You can bet on that."

Softly she told him "I'm counting on it."

With a groan, at the thought of leaving her, he stood up. "All right. I'm outta here. Lets make sure we see each other later on today. Deal?" He held out of his hand.

She shook his hand, while chuckling, "Deal." Then she pulled him onto the bed.

Logan tumbled onto her, laughing. Georgie started to kiss his neck.

He said "Girl, I wanna stay, trust me. But I gotta go cause that nutty family that I work for don't like excuses."

She kissed his throat one more time and then let him go. Logan stood back up. She smiled up at him. "Okay, you can go. Thanks for staying with me all night."

In a low whisper he said "I'd stay with you every night if you wanted me to."

They weren't into playing coy about wanting each other. Because Georgie was leaving for Europe in less than six weeks they didn't have any time left to play games.

She told him "I'll keep that in mind."

Their eyes once again locked on each other.

He murmured "Get over here, doll."

Georgie climbed onto her feet, on the bed, wrapped her arms around his neck and Logan lifted her off. Her legs wrapped around him. She buried her face in the crook of his neck.

He said "Ugh, I don't wanna leave you right now. I wanna get back in that bed with you."

She whispered, against his skin, "You know what I want? A whole weekend in bed with you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Fourth of July is this week. Can you get the weekend off?"

"For you, hell yeah, I can."

"Just Saturday and Sunday because I said I'd work the Fourth during the day. And I'm supposed to see fireworks with Brooke at night...if you're off you can come along, if you're into it."

"Count me in, girl."

"Great! We watch fireworks in the park at the carnival every year."

"Sounds good. So where do you wanna go next weekend? Got anything in mind?"

"The beach."

He set her back down and cupped her cheeks with his hands. "I can't wait." He bent to kiss her and she jerked away before he could.

Georgie giggled and went to the door. "Not till I brush my teeth. See you. You're going to be late for work if you don't hurry."

He sauntered out the door with a smile. "Look for a hotel on the beach online today."

"I will."

Their eyes were both lit up as they stared at each other. Finally Logan turned and walked down the hall. Georgie sighed dreamily. She stepped into the hall and watched him leave.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time his shift was over at work Logan was in a decidedly worse mood. That day he had talked to some of the guys in the drug smuggling scheme- all soldiers in the Zacchara family- and he found out that in nine days the shipment was coming in. A week from Wednesday.

That would be a day when his whole life changed. And, for safety's sake, he could not say a word to Georgie about it. Her life depended on knowing nothing about it beforehand. And his and Cooper's lives depended on playing their parts perfectly. Coop as the dirty cop helping the Zaccharas out and Logan as the criminal dragging his best friend in a scheme fueled by greed and hubris.

Even Coop and Logan could not talk about the plan at home because their place could be bugged. Spinelli checked it every time he came over and deemed it clean every time but Logan could not breathe easy or completely trust that.

Knowing he'd get a bullet in the back of his head if anyone found out-before the trial- what he was up to, he was sure to keep his mouth shut about it. Cooper and Logan's only contact- and the only person who knew every part of what was going on, in order to not risk a leak- was Scott.

The only good part that came out of Logan turning into a snitch was that it brought him closer to his father. But if he ended up in witness protection in a year or two when the case made it to court then that would be the end of his relationship with Scott for good. Logan was trying not to think about the trial and if he would be a marked man afterwards. If he was lucky all the guys would plead out and he'd never testify or the prosecutor could make the case without him.

But whatever was going to happen the train had already left the station and it was way too late for Logan to get off. In nine days he would be involved in a undercover sting that would risk his life, Cooper's good name, and Georgie's faith in Logan. And there was no way to stop it.

He could have backed off Georgie or never gotten with her because of this but that wasn't his nature. That level of nobleness was just beyond him. He ached for her too bad. And when she said "Its not Matt...its you," that set off a chain of events that Logan thanked God for every moment since. Georgie's kisses, Georgie's adoration of him, Georgie's faith, Georgie's soft body curled against his in bed, Georgie's beautiful and perfect trust in him.

He wouldn't give that up for anything. But in nine days he could lose his life or his girl. And still he wanted to go away to the beach with her. Make love to her. And enjoy what they could of their connection.

He wanted to make them special and make them last- just like he told her- but he knew what she didn't even suspect. Heartbreak could be bearing down on them. Tears would be shed, he knew that, and maybe she'd regret ever knowing him.

But he'd treasure her forever.

Logan was about to walk into Kelly's when his phone rang. The screen read: London. That was what he called Leyla. She called him Cowboy. He had stopped by the hospital to tell her that he was dating Georgie now, even though he'd never been more than drinking buddies with Leyla. She kissed him sometimes on nights when she was wasted and sad over Patrick. Logan hadn't minded until he started to date Georgie and then he knew he would, for sure, hurt Georgie if she heard Leyla came onto him again. He couldn't let that happen so he planned to stay away from Jake's.

"Hey."

"Hi, Cowboy. Guess where I am this evening? At the pub."

"Getting a little rowdy, are you, girl?"

She giggled. "Perhaps! Perhaps! Perhaps!" she sang. "Do you enjoy that song from that randy show?"

"Can't say I know what you mean."

"Oh, bugger, what is the name of it?"

"It don't matter none. Why did you call me?"

"Come join me and the girls for some ale."

"No can do. I've got plans with Georgie tonight."

There was a long pause with a lot of whispering on Leyla's end "Coupling!"

"What?"

"Kelly just reminded me that the show is called Coupling."

"Never heard of it."

"She says there was a poorly done American version of it. Its all about the dirtiest kinkiest kinds of sexual romps."

"Well, you girls have fun over there tonight. And keep an eye on that old dog Coleman."

"He's harmless." She giggled. "Are you sure you can' t be tempted to join us?"

"My drinking in bars days are done. Sorry, London."

"I'm the one who is sorry to hear that."

"Get home safe tonight, okay?" Even though they wouldn't be hooking up or even be the close friends she wanted, Logan did care about Leyla as a person.

"You can be assured I will take a livery."

"Huh?"

"A cab, as you Americans call it."

"You do that, girl. I got to go."

"Good bye then. I hope you enjoy your evening with your new girlfriend." Click.

Logan let out a short breath. He didn't like hurting a woman like he had hurt Leyla. Disappointing her that way. It reminded him of how he felt when it became clear Lulu preferred Johnny to him. It stung like a bitch.

The only thing that made the sting even halfway bearable was his friendship with Georgie. It grew slowly over the spring and the summer found them in love. Though it had only been a few days of them dating Logan cherished every moment.

If he survived the raid of the illegal prescription drug syndicate then he had faith in her to see him through what would come next. He hated to know she'd cry over him but he had to let it happen.

He hated how he was going to bring her pain though.

He had been pushing this whole issue to the back of his mind the last few days but now it was impossible because he knew when the 'buy' was going down. He knew the day his life would be in danger and his love at risk.

It wasn't something that he could ignore anymore.

Logan walked into the diner and spotted Georgie behind the counter. A smile curved over her lips. He walked over and sat down. "Hey, doll."

"Hi....you okay? You look tense."

"Just work stress."

"Lets get you some coffee and see if we can improve your mood. Maybe even get a smile out of you."

He grinned. God this girl was great. And she cared about him. It made his fears and pain fly away.


	187. There, 9

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**June 30, 2008**

**Part Nine**

Logan took Georgie to his house that night after she got off work. He had asked Cooper to help him set up a surprise for Georgie.

Logan asked her to close her eyes and walk around to his backyard. He held her hand and led her there. When they were at this back deck he whispered into her ear "Okay, doll, you can have a look now."

Georgie opened her eyes and smiled happily at the sight of the deck being strung with white Christmas lights. The patio table was set with a white linen table cloth.

She asked, her voice giddy with happiness, "Where did you find Christmas lights in June?"

"Maxie dug them out of your Dad's attic."

"Maxie helped you with this? Wow. That was nice of her. I love this, Logan."

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "I wanna dance with you beneath the stars tonight. What do you say, girl?"

"I say you are way more romantic than I ever knew."

He chuckled, let go of her, and smacked her ass. "Don't go making me out to be some Prince Charming. Spinelli already tried pinning that nickname on me but it ain't hardly a good fit." He headed for the back door.

Georgie called out "You're Spinelli's Prince Charming? Should I be worried?"

He turned and smirked at her. Then he walked back over, picked her up and made her squeal with laughter. They shared a tender kiss and then he set her down. Logan said "Coop picked us up some dinner from The Metro Court. I'm gonna go warm it up. Give me five minutes, okay?"

"Okay. Sounds great."

Smiling he headed inside.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie was sitting in a patio chair, her heart full over the romantic gesture that Logan had done for her, when she sent Brooklyn a text message: I love him.

Brooklyn sent back: Duh.

Georgie sent back: LOL.

Soon Logan came out with their dinner. She stood up and asked "What do you want to drink? I'll go grab it."

"Sit your cute behind back down. Tonight you're not lifting a finger."

"I don't mind."

"What did I just say?"

She rolled her eyes and sat back down. "Okay. Have it your way."

He walked over to her, titled her head up and gave her a tongue tangling kiss that made her softly moan before he pulled away and said "Just sit tight, girl, and let me take care of you. You've served me enough drinks and meals this last year, I'm due to serve you a few now."

"If you feel that way I'll take breakfast in bed tomorrow."

Logan grinned.

Georgie blushed. She covered her face with her hands.

Logan chuckled softly and walked inside.

When he came back with some ice tea, she said "I know that sounded so lame. I should have just said I want to spend the night tonight. And I should also tell you that its cool if you don't want me to because....I know that guys usually hate girls getting clingy too quick and asking to always sleep over, get a drawer and a key. To play house, basically. I don't want you to feel pressured. I'm messing up our date with this kind of talk, right? Right. Lets drop this subject till after our weekend away."

Logan sat across from her and smiled. "Whew. That was a mouthful, huh?"

She blushed slightly. "Dinner smells great," she tried to change the subject.

She loved being held by him while she slept- it created a peaceful and safe feeling in her like she had never known- and she wanted that every night. But she felt like it was expecting too much of him to ask him to want the same already. Especially because they hadn't had sex yet.

"Georgie.....you ain't rushing me and I like you wanting to sleep in my bed tonight. We ain't promised tomorrow. That's something my Ma always told me. So since we don't know if we got any tomorrows coming....we best make the most of our today."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan hated the ache in his chest at the thought of the drug sting next week. He could get killed or he could become marked for death. Nothing was certain anymore. He wanted to protect the people he loved but everyone was in danger and the danger was only increasing with each second.

Still he had right now with Georgie. He had their nights in bed together. He had holding her in the dark. He had all these precious memories they were creating.

Logan would not let fear over tomorrow destroy today. Because these could be the last days of his life.

(Sometimes late at night, I lie and watch her sleeping.

She's lost in peaceful dreams so I turn out the light and lay there in the dark.

.

And the thought crosses my mind, if I don't wake up in the morning,

would she ever doubt the way I feel about her in my heart?

.

If tomorrow never comes, will she know how much I loved her?

Did I try in every way, to show her everyday, that she's my one and only?

.

And if my time on earth was through, and she must face this world without me,

is the love I gave her in the past

gonna be enough to last

if tomorrow never comes?) (Garth Brooks)

He patted his knee. "Come here, girl."

She went over and sat on his lap. She had on a sundress, which she changed into after work. He found it adorable how she wanted to look good for him. He liked her just fine in the Kelly's uniform. He liked her in her dress, too. And especially he liked her in her cute shorts she wore to bed and her red bathing suit.

She always looked good to him.

Georgie seemed shy still after her embarrassing moment, in her opinion, of admitting she wanted to spend the night. Logan wanted to soothe her feelings so he said "You know something? You'll be the first woman in my bed since I moved here. I wouldn't have wanted anybody but you with me in that bed. Ever since you came to see me in the hospital....I've been wanting just you in my bed....and you're welcome in it every night."

She hugged him tightly.

Logan really believed she was falling in love with him. It was in her words, in her brown, tender eyes, and in her touch. Before that raid went down he wanted to whisper in her ear that he loved her too. Just in case it was his last chance.

(Cause I've lost loved ones in my life who never knew how much I loved them.

Now I live with the regret that my true feelings for them never were revealed.

.So I made a promise to myself to say each day how much she means to me

and avoid the circumstance where there's no second chance to tell how I feel.

.

If tomorrow never comes, will she know how much I loved her?

Did I try in every way, to show her everyday, that she's my one and only?

.

And if my time on earth was through, and she must face this world without me,

is the love I gave her in the past

gonna be enough to last

if tomorrow never comes?)

Letting go of him, she caressed his cheek, where he had a five o'clock shadow now. She asked "Remember when you asked me if I thought we'd make it if we got together last year?"

"Yeah." His eyes searched hers.

"We would have made it, Logan."

He grinned. "I don't got no doubts about that."

"No doubts. Me either."

They kissed for a long moment. Then Georgie climbed off his lap, went back to her own seat and sat down. After dinner they danced to Faith Hill and Tim McGraw before Logan swept Georgie off her feet and carried her inside to his bed.

Laying her down they started to kiss.

After a minute, Georgie broke their kiss and whispered in his ear "I loved this second date. Thank you."

"Thank you, doll, for taking a chance on me."

(So tell that someone that you love just what you're thinking of if tomorrow never comes )


	188. There 10

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**July 1, 2008**

**Part Ten**

The worries on Logan's mind made him wake up before dawn the next day. He headed to the bathroom and when he came back he sat on the bed, with his back against the headboard, and his eyes on Georgie.

She was sleeping in a t-shirt that hung to her knees.

The night before they another night similar to their ones in the past- making out and talking until they were ready to go to sleep, then falling asleep holding each other.

The sun slowly rose as Logan memorized Georgie's face, arms and legs. Every part of her that he could see. He longed to trace his fingers over all of her.

With a heavy sigh he went and made breakfast. Cooper came out while he was in the middle of Logan frying up French toast. "Did I wake you? Sorry, man."

Cooper rubbed his eyes. "Its hella earlier. What are you doing cooking already?"

"Georgie slept over."

Cooper grinned. He made a whipping sound.

Logan laughed. "Shut up."

"I'm glad this is all working out for you."

"These days something's got to go right for me."

Cooper tensed at his tone. "Hang in there, buddy."

"Yeah."

"So can I get some of that French toast since you rattling around in here woke me up?"

"Have at it."

A little while later they heard Georgie go in the bathroom. Logan loaded a tray with the food and some coffee then he headed to his room. He was waiting when she came back. "Morning. Sorry about the noise."

She smiled sweetly. "I was kidding about you making me breakfast. You didn't have to go to this trouble."

"You stopped being trouble for me," he thought back "somewhere around Valentine's Day."

That was when Georgie admitted Cooper was not The Text Message Killer.

She joked "How romantic. That only means I drove you nuts for nearly the whole first year you knew me."

She came over to the bed and sat down.

Logan leaned close to her. "We good?"

"Minty fresh."

She would absolutely not allow kissing before she brushed her teeth in the morning. He had already learned to not even try it.

He gave her a soft kiss.

When they broke apart Georgie looked at the food "I love French Toast."

"I know."

"How?"

"Cause I text messaged Brooklyn and asked her what you like for breakfast last night."

"Sneaky."

He grinned. "Give me points for wanting to make my girl happy."

She kissed his neck. "Believe me, you're racking up the points lately."

He chuckled. If not for the food being there he would have pushed her back on the bed and tickled her till she was begging for relief, and then kissed her breathless. But that would have to wait. They'd have a mess on their hands if he tried it right now. Instead he fed her the French toast.

Georgie stared at him with sweet adoration in her eyes. And Logan fell a little more in love with her.

"Yum," she said after the first bite.

They fed each other the food and drank the coffee, then Logan sat the tray on the floor. He leaned over and murmured "Hold still, you've got a little syrup right..." he licked at her lips "there. Got it."

She practically crawled onto his lap in an instant and they started kissing frantically. She tasted sweet like how she took her coffee. Sugary. Logan loved this wild kiss and the taste of her. They had never gotten this intense in their kisses yet. He felt himself starting to get hard.

A moment later his alarm went off. Logan yanked it out of the wall.

Georgie said "I better shower and head home so you can get ready for work."

"I got a little bit of time still, girl, if you wanna stick around."

Georgie kissed down his bare chest- something she hadn't done before- and Logan sucked in a breath, holding it, as she whispered "Okay." Her lips fluttered against his skin, setting off shockwaves, and his whole body went on high alert when she climbed off the bed and kneeled in front of him.

She placed her hands on his thighs and stroked over them for a moment. Logan let out his breath, hissing it through his teeth. "Girl," he drug out the word, telling her she didn't ever have to feel obligated to him.

Her eyes held his. She reached out one hand and cupped the back of his head. Georgie pulled him near her and whispered into his ear. "Don't you understand I like this?"

Hearing that had him aching to get out of his boxers, which Georgie started to tug down a moment later. Logan lifted his hips and she pulled them off. Soon her hands were on him and then her mouth had sucked him in. He was losing his mind over the feel and sight of this.

He definitely had more experienced women do what she was doing to him before but that didn't matter. It never felt as good before because they weren't her. He wasn't as emotionally invested in them. Didn't respect them the way he did her.

She made him feel completely cherished.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few days later, Logan sat at the recovery room , surrounded by his friends, holding Georgie's hand and trying not to bust out laughing when Spinelli tripped up to the stage. It was Karaoke night there. Brooke wanted to go so she could sing to Spinelli in front of all of them.

But after she sang 'Beautiful Soul' to him he was so inspired that he decided he just had to sing to her.

Logan, now dedicated to being Spinelli's friend, was doing his best to not laugh as The Jackal fumbled around on stage. He actually was praying this went good for Spinelli.

He ended up doing a fun version of 'I Want You To Want Me' where they audience all joined in.

A few other patrons took their turns, Maxie kept drinking, and then she did a quite dirty lap dance for Cooper while singing 'What a Man'.

Cooper, Sam, and Georgie refused to be talked into going on stage. That left Logan. Usually he would say hell no to such a thing but he wanted to make all the memories he could for Georgie. They had exactly one week left before the raid.

Though he knew he couldn't do as great a job singing as Lucky Spencer had when he kicked off the night with a love song for Sam, Logan felt like he could do well enough to make Georgie happy.

There were looks of surprise on everyone at his table's faces when he stood up and said "I'm next."

He grabbed a bar stool and took it up there, told the host what song he wanted, and then sat on the stool to sing it.

His eyes connected with Georgie's. He let out a long breath. He wasn't that drunk and his nerves were kicking in but it was too late to back out now. He sang "When the rain's blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, I would offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love. When the evening shadows and the stars appear, and there is no one to dry your tears, I would hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love. I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong. I've known it from the moment that we met, there is no doubt in my mind where you belong. I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue, I'd go strolling down the avenue. There is nothing that I wouldn't do.....to make you feel my love. The storms are raging on a wild sea down the highway of regret. The winds of change are blowing wild and free but....you ain't seen nothing like me yet. There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do. Go to the ends of the earth for you. Make you happy. Make your dreams come true. To make you feel my love."

When he walked off the stage, Georgie ran over and jumped into his arms.

Later that night they all ended up doing some fireworks off at the Quatermaine mansion which ended when Edward came outside ranting about the noise and calling them a bunch of wild hooligans. Hours later, Georgie and Logan fell asleep curled together on the couch as a repeat of The Tonight Show played on the television in the gatehouse.


	189. There 11

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**July 5, 2008**

**Part 11**

There was an ever growing hungry, hot, sweet, desperate sexual tension building between Logan and Georgie from the moment he picked her up to drive to the beach for their weekend out of town. Once they checked into the hotel they changed into bathing suits and headed down to Lake Erie for a while. After swimming they came back, took showers and dressed for dinner. Though they had plans to go to a seafood restaurant that night Georgie was tempted to just stay in the room and fall into bed.

Her body had been aching for this moment since they started dating and now it was here.

They managed to make it to dinner and then went on a walk back to the hotel, which was two blocks away. As they held hands and walked Georgie wore a sweet smile on her lips. "Pinch me."

He chuckled.

She said "If someone told me last year I'd be so happy about spending two days straight with you I would have told them to have their head checked."

"I'm not half bad when you get to know me, huh?"

"Not anymore. You used to be a first rate ass."

He laughed and pulled her into his arms, as they stood on a street corner in a heavily populated tourist area.

"Watch the name calling. I just might get offended and go home early."

"Ha."

He gave her a quick kiss. She was grinning from ear-to-ear. Grabbing her hand he started walking again. "Come on, girl. I don't know about you but I'm already missing that hotel room of ours."

She giggled. Twelve minutes later they were inside the room together, and she was kissing his jaw, tasting his slightly sweaty skin. His smell always left her feeling weak. Her body trembled at the thought of him soon being inside of her.

His arms were around her waist, his hands splayed over her back, when he murmured "No matter what ever goes down between us in the future I want you to always remember that...this has been the best night of my life."

She smiled. "We haven't done anything yet."

"Its not all about that for me. You being here means you trust me. You want me. You give a damn about me. You're happy with me. What I feel for you ain't all about sex....its a lot deeper than that...and this night is perfect for me, as is, right now. Just knowing you'd come here with me makes it so damn special for me."

She brought her lips to his in a slow, soulful kiss. "I more than just want you in my life....I need you. I believe in you and us. I believe in our future together."

His eyes darkened with pain. Georgie's heart clutched. She caressed his cheek and whispered "I know that it feels like things never work out for you but this time is different. I believe that. Because this time its us."

She slipped out of her dress then she started to unbutton his shirt, and pushed it off his shoulders, she undid his belt and threw it on the ground. He slipped off his socks and shoes while she slid out of her heels. With her eyes staring into his she shed her bra and panties. Georgie started taking very shallow breaths as she stood there completely exposed to his eyes.

Logan still had on his pants when he took hold of the back of her head, kissed her deeply, and then lay her down on the bed. He followed her down. Their lips came together again. Logan spent long minutes kissing all of her body and making her wither in ecstasy as climax after climax hit her. More than an hour went by as he kissed first her legs, arms, stomach, thighs and shoulders, and then her breasts and then between her legs, which is when the orgasms hit her, one after another, as he continued to lick, suck, caress and thrust his fingers into her.

Her moans died down as she finally stilled. She was breathless when he stood up and stripped out of his clothes. She lay there, flushed from head to toe, and took in the look of him nude.

Once he had a condom on he settled himself between her legs. "Georgie....."

She nodded. He shallowly entered her. The moment was one she'd never forget. It felt so right. Sensations rocketed from that spot where they were joined throughout her body. And later, when he was fully buried in her, and they were rocking against each other, Georgie realized she'd never felt this complete before in all her life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was up early again the next day. It felt like his time was running out. That raid was bearing down on him and nothing would be the same after that. As happy as he was to have spent the night with Georgie he was also scared and worried about how she'd take what would happen next week.

He watched her in the early morning sunlight as she lay next to him in bed. She was stunning. Her skin glowed. Her breathing was soft and relaxed. She felt so safe with him and he could never get over that. She had grown to trust him. He hated thinking that might end in less than a week.

He softly laid a kiss on her lips. Her eyes fluttered open. Logan whispered, his voice filled with emotion and gruff, "Just so you know, darlin, I'm crazy in love with you."

With sleepy eyes and a sweet smile on her lips Georgie murmured "Best words ever!"

They started kissing and made love again. Logan was happy that for once she hadn't ran off to brush her teeth before he could kiss her. He wanted her right there with him in that moment- not thinking about anything but him and how right they were together.

For the next day they stayed in bed, ordering room service, watching movies, talking about all the future vacations they wanted to take and making love. They finally left to go sit in the hot tub in the hotel and ease all the aches in their muscles. By the time they went home Logan was used to Georgie saying "I love you so much!" in the middle of their lovemaking.

The best words ever for him too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**July 8, 2008**

"I can't take anymore of this!" Logan screamed at Scott.

They were standing near a lake about an hour from Port Charles. They went there on the pretense of going fishing but in truth Logan wanted to talk to Scott about the raid the next day. Scott was one the only person Logan had contact with about this investigation.

Logan was paranoid that his house and truck were bugged so they always had to go somewhere deserted to talk.

"Its almost over," Scott said. "Just one more day."

"One more day till what? My life is ruined that's what! I should have never gotten involved in any of this. When those guys said they were moving illegal drugs I should have said so what? Not my problem! This is what I get for trying to play hero. FUCK!"

"You got to calm down. Keep your cool. You can get through this, kid. You're doing a good thing."

"Maybe I won't get through it. Maybe I'll take a bullet in my head as my thank you for getting my dumb ass involved in this mess that ain't none of my business."

"Well you wouldn't be involved if you got a better job like I suggested."

"Shut up with that."

"I'm just saying I offered you the chance to work down at your grandfather's law office or at the hospital with your grandmother, over at Deception with Lucy, down at the station with your buddy.....but no, you wanted to work for gangsters. Now you got to see this through. It will all be behind you eventually. You can get your life back and make some better, safer, saner, not make me worry so much, choices."

"Just play this out till the end. If I testify then what? There will be a price on my head. How the hell do I have a good life then? What was I thinking when I came to you about this? I should have just looked the other way."

"People were dying. You couldn't ignore it and live with yourself. I don't want you to worry about testifying. These guys will all roll on each other. I've seen it happen a million times. They all want a deal and they trip over themselves to point the finger at their partners. All we gotta do is make them think you got the best plea deal and that's why you aren't serving any time. It could work."

"And maybe it won't. If it doesn't my life is as good as over."

"I won't let that happen."

"This is so messed up. My life is about to implode. I have to warn Georgie."

"No way! There can't be any leaks. You know that. Hell, you tell me that every time we talk about this. Its bad enough you told that computer nerd buddy of yours. He gets to rambling and this could all blow up in our faces."

"Spinelli wouldn't do that to me. He's been checking my place for listening devices. If he didn't do that I'd be climbing the walls by now."

"You ain't?"

"Just listen to me, I wanted to come out here to let you that I am telling Georgie tonight. I have to. You can't talk me out of this. She'll fall apart if she hears I've been arrested tomorrow."

"You listen up, Logan. This whole plan depends on the perps believing you're just as dirty as them. They'll all be at the station tomorrow and so will their lawyers, their girlfriends and probably their mothers too. All screaming their heads off. Georgie needs to be there and just as shocked, teary and pissed as they are. Or else you won't have to worry about her being hurt emotionally about your arrest. You'll have to worry about how she's gonna get through your funeral."

Logan shook his head in misery.

Scott clamped a hand on his shoulder and said "You will get through this. I'll get you through this, I swear. This time I'm gonna do right by you. You just gotta hang in a little longer."

"Looks like I'm in too deep to do anything else at this point."


	190. There 12

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**July 9, 2008**

**Part 12**

Spinelli entered Kelly's with a nervous expression on his face. He had gotten a text from Logan that read: Take care of her.

He knew that meant he was the one who had to comfort Georgie when the news of Logan's arrest spread through town. Spinelli waited till he saw it on the evening news and then he headed down to the diner.

She was working as usual and didn't seem upset at all. He hated what he had to do but there was no choice. Logan had come a long way in the last six months- from destroying the happiness of others to trying to protect strangers at the expense of himself- and he had become a good friend to The Jackal. This is what friends did for each other.

Still it made Spinelli feel horrible to deceive Fair and Wise Georgie.

She smiled when she spotted him. "Hi, Jackal! Here for dinner?"

"You have quite a glow about you, Fair friend. I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings but I'm afraid I have some news that will come as a shock to you. Perhaps you should take a seat."

"Is it Maxie? Is she okay?"

"I assure you that your sister was in fine health when I saw her last. And her emotional state was sublime also. This concerns your paramour."

"What about Logan? Is he hurt?"

"I'm sorry to say.....he's been taken into custody along with The Clean Cut Cadet and a slew of Zacchara henchmen. It seems they were involved in distributing the illegal pharmaceuticals that have been flooding the streets as of late."

"You think Logan and Cooper are drug dealers? That's crazy, Spinelli! They're your friends. How can you believe that about them? That's not true."

"I only report what I saw on the news. The police have arrested them both. I saw their faces plain as day being hauled into the station."

"My Dad made a mistake then. Or some other cop did. Something went wrong somewhere because I know they wouldn't do this."

"The Jackal was stunned to hear this disconcerting development too. I'm sure that their names will be cleared eventually. Until then we just have to wait on lady justice to deliver a fair verdict to our friends."

"I'm not waiting on anything. I'm going down there and finding out what's going on!" Georgie's hands were shaking as she stormed into the kitchen to tell Mike she was leaving.

Spinelli let out a shaky sigh. He wished that he didn't bear the burden of knowing the truth when she didn't. He hoped that neither Georgie or Maxie ever blamed him for being dishonest.

The times he became filled with worried about that happening is when he reminded himself that they would blame him worse- and forever- if he was to get Logan killed by spilling the truth.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Georgie could not believe the crazy scene down at the police station. The squad room was filled with cops, attorney's, media and family members of the men arrested.

Her heart was beating hard in panic. She fought to calm down. To not lose her faith in Logan.

This had to be a mistake. Logan just got caught up in some sting with the Zacchara family but he wasn't guilty. He was just a nurse for Anthony and that's all.

The part about Cooper being arrested too really made her stomach cramp. Why would anyone believe he was involved in this? Just cause he lived with a mobster? Georgie hoped that was all that made them suspicious of Cooper but knowing how the law worked, at least a little bit because of her Dad, she knew they needed more than that to arrest him. Her Dad wouldn't arrest Coop unless he had some evidence that made Cooper seem guilty. But no matter what evidence there was Georgie refused to believe it.

It just couldn't be true. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost Logan. They had just gotten to a really beautiful, connected place in their relationship. She had so much hope for him moving on from his job and for them being happy together.

Tears stung her eyes as she stormed across the station, with Spinelli following behind her, and made her way through the crowd. Reporters were questioning Alexis "How long did you suspect Officer Barrett was a dirty cop?"

Georgie spotted Lucky. "Where's my Dad? I really need to see him."

Lucky let out a short, tense breath. "This place is a mad house. Mac is in with the mayor. I'm sorry but it will probably be a while till he has some time for you."

"Then I want to see Logan Hayes. He was arrested today."

"Georgie, you should probably just go home. Come back later when things calm down around here."

The media kept shouting questions while Alexis kept repeating that it was an ongoing investigation and she would not be making premature comments.

Georgie told Lucky "I'm not going anywhere till I talk to my Dad and Logan. Will you help me to make that happen or not? Please, Lucky, I just want some straight answers about what's going on."

He let out another frustrated breath and then said "Wait here. I'll have Hayes brought up to the interrogation room."

A long twelve minutes passed and then Georgie was ushered into the room by Lucky. Her eyes focused on Logan, who was handcuffed to the table.

Lucky told her "You can have ten minutes and then this officer will take Hayes back down to lock up."

"I understand," Georgie said.

Lucky left. There was another cop in the room, standing near the doorway. Georgie slid into the chair across from Logan. His eyes were filled with worry.

She took his hand in hers. "Tell me this is just a big, crazy mistake. You wouldn't do something like this. Hurt so many people when you've been trained to save lives, not risk them this way. Tell me my Dad made a mistake about you and Cooper."

"I wish I could say that, girl."

She stiffened. Her eyes darted over to the cop standing there. She let go of Logan's hand. "We'll talk about this when you're released. I'm going to go talk to Scott about getting you bail."

"Don't worry about it. Its not your problem."

Their eyes held for a long moment.

Standing up she walked out without saying anything else. Reporters turned their attention to her.

"How does your father feel about you dating a gangster?"

"Did the Police Commissioner know your boyfriend is a drug smuggler?"

"Did Officer Barrett admit to you he's on the take?"

Tears streamed down her face. She was cornered against the door to the interrogation room. Spinelli pushed past the reporters and flung himself in front of Georgie like a shield. "Leave Fair Georgie alone! She has no response for your rude and intrusive line of questions besmirching the

good name of her loved ones!"

Spinelli took Georgie's hand and led her down the hair as reporters chased after them, until some cops told them they couldn't go into that part of the station.

Spinelli hugged Georgie. "It will be all right, Wise friend. In time this will all be resolved."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Over an hour later, Scott walked into his office. "Sorry for keeping you waiting."

Georgie popped out of her seat. "You have to help Logan. Get him out on bail."

"It ain't gonna happen today. The cops have a right to hold him for seventy two hours before going to court."

"He can't be locked up for three days! Its not safe. Cooper either. He could be killed before three days are over. Do something! Your son needs you, Mr. Baldwin. He's never asked you for anything before and he wouldn't now but I am. Please help him and Cooper. Prove their innocence. Find out who is setting them up to take the fall for this."

"You should let the cops do their job. You two kids need to go home and wait for the legal system to figure this all out."

Spinelli stood up. "I fear he is right, Wise friend. We need to take our leave for now."

Georgie was nearly frantic as she looked at Scott. "How can you be so calm about this? He's your son! Doesn't that mean anything to you at all? Do you think he's guilty of this? Don't you have any faith in him?"

"No matter what he did I'll help him out. I ain't never been perfect and I don't expect my son to be either. Just let me deal with this. I'll see he gets a good lawyer."

"He's never needed you more than he does right now. If you care at all then you'll fight for him this time." Georgie rushed out of the office.

She had already been to see her father and been told to stay out of it, leave Logan and Cooper alone, and to not become a target of the Zacchara family. But she couldn't follow Mac's advice.

Not when Logan's life was on the line.


	191. There 13

**There For You**

**Georgie and Logan**

**July 14th, 2008**

**Part 13**

The days were bleak for Georgie when Logan was locked up. She had cried in Brooklyn's arms till she couldn't cry anymore. Begged her best friend to say she believed that Logan was innocent of the charges against him.

Brooklyn said what Georgie needed to hear but the truth rested in her eyes. Brooke wasn't positive that Logan had not drug Cooper into a scheme to sell black market pharmaceuticals.

Georgie had to hang onto her faith in her boyfriend though. And her belief that no matter what mistakes Logan ever made he hadn't crossed this line.

But what if he had?

During the long nights when she couldn't sleep she wondered how she could forgive him for this if he was guilty. Forgive him for the people who died because they took the drugs he helped to sell. Forgive him for getting Cooper mixed up in this. Forgive him for being greedy and reckless.

She knew she could forgive somehow. She had to. Because she loved him. And even if he walked away from her or was sent to prison she'd always care about him, always support him, and always try to help him anyway she could.

He was the man who made her believe in love again. That man deserved her devotion. She didn't know how to stop feeling the way she did. To stop adoring him, even if he was up to his neck in this crime.

A huge part of her clung to her hope that he wasn't really guilty after all. That he was better than that. That he was not so cold and cruel. That he hadn't messed up this time.

She kept asking Scott to get Logan and Cooper released on bail but Scott said they had to wait till their first court date, which was the Monday after their arrest.

That afternoon Logan showed up at the gatehouse.

Georgie pulled open the door. Their eyes met. "Come on in."

"Nah, I don't think that's the best idea. I don't feel like dealing with Brooke right about now."

Georgie raised an eyebrow. "Don't act like its my best friend's fault if she is worried about me dating someone who just spent nearly a week in jail. She's been nothing but nice to you!"

"I know you're pissed off about what I've done-"

"What exactly did you do?"

"Everything the cops are saying I did."

"Why would you get caught up in something like that?"

"It was easy money. That's all I could see. I didn't think about getting busted."

"And you got Cooper into it to?"

"He was just trying to cover my ass, that's all. He never wanted the money. He wanted to help me. I caused this whole mess."

"People died, Logan!"

"I know that."

Tears blinked into her eyes. "I can't believe you'd be so stupid like this! That you let people die so you could make some quick cash. How much did you make, huh? How much are those peoples lives worth to you?"

"I completely screwed up. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me right now."

"I don't hate you. I just don't know why you did this-"

"Come on a ride with me. Lets get away from everyone else, like your roommate and her crazy family around this joint, and talk....alone....let me make this up to you, baby."

She stilled. He wasn't ever the type to use the word baby. It just wasn't his style. He had a lot of endearments but that wasn't one of them.

Her head was spinning in that moment. Everything felt so off. She could barely stand there without passing out. Numbly she said "Okay."

Wiping the tears off her face she grabbed her purse and followed him to his truck. When they were driving down the road Georgie said "Somehow we'll get through this."

"I know I always mess up and get in trouble. I just look for the easy way out. I'm gonna turn myself around though. I promise you, baby."

She jerked her eyes over to look at him. He shot her a quick glance. Logan placed one finger against his lips. Georgie's eyes widened but she stayed quiet for the rest of the ride. An hour and a half later they were at a motel on the interstate. Logan paid for a room and they went inside.

He locked the door.

"Tell me what's going on!"

"Shhh, we have to keep our voices down."

"Why did we have to come all this way to talk about this? Who do you think might be trying to overhear us? The cops?"

"Claudia Zacchara. She's desperate to find out who the rat is that turned her into the cops. No one has implicated her yet but she's the person running this whole scheme. I didn't know that for sure till I got locked up."

"Logan, I just don't get why you ever got involved in this. Its craziness! You're better than this! And now Cooper is in trouble too. Claudia is out to see someone killed over this. I'm so scared for you. I don't know why you'd do this but you can't keep making bad choices. We won't have any sort of life together if you're in prison. And I need you. I love you. I don't want to live my life without you."

"Come here," he said, as he took her hand and led her to the bed. They both sat down on it. Logan let go of Georgie's hand. "I know I put you through hell over this. I hate myself for that. But by the time we started dating I was in way too deep to get out. I've been lying to you, Georgie. And I've put you in the middle of a dangerous situation. I should have stayed away from you but I just couldn't think straight. I couldn't walk away from you after we kissed at that party. I was just.....hooked. I'm sorry I'm hurt you this way."

"Sorry won't bring back the people who died."

"I know that. I never wanted anyone to die."

"I understand that but they did. And now we have to face that. But whatever we do....we do it together, right?"

"Georgie just hold on a minute before you start thinking about long term. You need to know-"

"What are you saying? You don't want us to stay together? Was that just a lie too?"

"I don't know that we can stay together." Logan stood up and paced around the room. He looked out the window and then backed at Georgie. "Claudia is not gonna back off till after the trial. Until then she's gonna be spying on everyone who was arrested to make sure they ain't snitching to the cops or thinking about cutting a deal. One of those guys will. Until they do though, and she finds out about it, every single one of us are on her radar. I knew there was a big boss of this operation that I hadn't met or dealt with. Now I know its her because her fingerprints were on the listening device found at my house."

"She bugged your house?"

"She probably didn't plant it. I kinda doubt she'd do it herself but she must have given the bug to someone on her payroll. Spinelli has been checking my house for bugs for a while now and never found one till a few days back. Then he checked your place when Brooke invited him over and....I'm really sorry, Georgie....but there's one in the lamp in your living room."

"What? Someone broke into the gatehouse? What if Brooklyn or I were there when they were inside the house? What would have happened if they saw us?"

"This is all my fault. I'm sure Claudia suspects every guy that was arrested and she's doing the same to all their places. She's a devious bitch and she will go way over the line. The police station was swept and they found bugs in Scott's office and one in the interrogation room. Those were removed but I'm leaving mine because its safer that way."

"Spinelli knew you were involved in drug smuggling?"

"He knew that I was a snitch for the cops. When I got my job as Anthony's nurse I met a lot of the guys who work for that family. They wanted my help because I had knowledge about medicine and because I was always trying to move up in the business and because I could get my best friend...a cop....to help us out. I didn't want a thing to do with it. I just wanted to act like they never said anything to me. Mind my own business. But I couldn't. Cause the drugs they were peddling had already gotten somebody killed and it would happen again in a matter of time. I went to Scott and told him everything. He called in the Feds. Coop and I are both pretending to be willing participants in this drug smuggling scheme so that we can get close to the guys doing it and get information. Your father never knew a thing. Its too risky to tell him. But I told Spinelli because he knew how to check for listening devices. I figured that someone might doubt my loyalty and bug my place. That's why I never talk to Cooper about this at home or in my truck or his SUV. If the wrong people find out what we're up to....we could get killed. I had already told Spinelli to check your place every time he's there and he has been, just like he checks mine. There was never any bugs until after I got arrested. Now we need to leave them there so no one finds out we're onto them."

"Why couldn't you tell me this before now? When we were away together. You had the perfect chance."

He let out a long breath. "I was dying to tell you but Scott kept saying you had to be as shocked and upset as everyone else when I got arrested. If you weren't and Claudia saw that or even heard about it then you'd be in danger. She would not hesitate to kidnap you and beat out of you everything you knew. I didn't want you believing I was guilty but I didn't want you hurt either. Now that I'm out again, and everyone has seen you upset, people will just think we made up if we're together in public. That you bought my lines about being not guilty or you just can't give me up no matter if you know I'm a criminal. But, even if that's true, it doesn't change the fact that Claudia will be looking for the snitch and that if she finds out its me she will order a hit on me in two seconds flat. I don't think you ought to be around me for right now.....even if you can forgive my lies. I wouldn't blame you if you can't. I know it hurts that I held out on you like this."

Speaking slowly, and staring deep into his eyes, Georgie said "You risked your life to do the right thing."

"I got my fool self involved in a mess. That's all I've done. And I selfishly drug you into it too. Because I wanted you too much to remember how screwed up my life was. By the time I started to really think about how bad this could all end....I wanted our weekend together more than I wanted anything before...so I kept my mouth shut and took you to the beach. Knowing I was gonna break your heart as soon as we got back."

A long moment passed when they just stared at each other. He sat next to her on the bed and asked "Are you okay?"

"I'm in shock still. I wanted you to be innocent and now I know you are. But its a lot more complicated and dangerous than I could have ever guessed. I want you to survive this. I'm scared Claudia will hear something on one of those bugs and she'll come after you. What if Spinelli said something to Brooke when he was over at our place?"

"Spinelli knows to be careful."

"He could slip."

"He won't. Trust him. I do."

"I don't like how there were so many secrets you were keeping from me. You had to be worried sick about this and I didn't know anything. I wish you could show me all of your pain and fears and let me help you."

"This is something I got to get through alone. I think we better take a break for while, girl."

Logan was looking down at his hands.

She leaned close to him and said "Look at me." When their eyes met she whispered "The only way we are breaking up is if you don't love me anymore. So do you love me still?"

"You can doubt everything else I ever told you but don't doubt how much I love you. I know we're just getting started, girl, but you mean more to me than I can even find the words to tell you."

"I believe you. Now you need to believe me when I say that we'll make it through this."

Their foreheads rested against each other.

Georgie added "Thank you for telling me the truth today. I hate that you were suffering with this and I didn't know."

"I hate that you've been upset for days now because of his mess."

"Do you know what I hate the most, Logan? That you couldn't hold me while I slept for the last few nights. I missed you."

"I missed you too."

Their lips met in a sweet kiss. Soon they were naked and making love to each other in a desperate and teary way. So scared about what the future might hold, but so sure their love would hold them together through it all.

There love was still new. But it was a love made to last.

(I'll be there for you. These five words I swear to you.

When you breath, I want to be the air for you.

I'll be there for you.

I'd live and I'd die for you. Steal the sun from the sky for you.

Words can't say what love can do.

I'll be there for you.) (Bon Jovi)

THE END


	192. Never Saw You Coming, Ethan and Kristina

**This story is a request from a member of If Only In My Fantasies. I thought there may be a fan or two of Kristina/Ethan who want to read it too. I did love this pairing till the recent sad turn of events.**

**Never Saw You Coming**

**Kristina and Ethan**

**April 2010**

**Part One **

"We got to talk," he said, his voice low and flat, showing no emotion whatsoever.

"You shouldn't be here. There's a restraining order."

"That's the least of my problems right now. Thanks to you."

Kristina Davis Corinthos flinched as if she had been slapped. She knew one day she'd have to face him but that didn't mean she knew what she was supposed to say now.

If it was three weeks before it would have made her heart race if he showed up outside of her school just after classes ended. This time her heart thudded but it wasn't in excitement to see her crush. It was because she felt guilty as hell.

There he was, Ethan Lovett, export from Australia, roguishly handsome with an accent that sent shivers all over her every time she heard it. He leaned now against the hood of his car with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes hooded with hidden emotions but focused like a laser on her, as she broke away from her classmates. Some of them asked if she would be all right. Flipping her hair and she said "He's the one who should worry if my Dad finds out he came around me. Catch up with you guys later, okay?"

They all wandered off, proving they weren't real friends to her but she had known that all along anyway.

The bruises had just healed enough that she could put make up over them and come back to class. Not that everyone hadn't heard about it because they had. Everyone knew and it just added to her strange mystic. The beautiful, snobby, over achieving daughter of a mob boss who ran her little clique like a mini mafia and trampled over all the senior girls to get Keifer as her boyfriend.

Of course Kristina worked the story to her best benefit. The other kids all thought she was oh so tragic but in the best way. On the outside she smiled and snarked but inside she was a quivering mess.

Standing five feet in front of Ethan, she crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you expect me to do?"

He straightened and she took a step back. A sad look crossed over his face. "Some bastard really has you spooked, don't he? What I wanna know is why you're making me pay for it? I know I hurt your feelings but-"

"But what? But its okay?"

"Look, you are gonna get me killed. Do you think I deserve that? I wish I never went to your place that night! I wanted to make it right? Why?"He raked his hands through his messy, long hair. "Hell if I know now. I should have done the smart thing and never gone near you again. All I ever tried to do was be friendly to you-"

"Stop acting like I imagined you liking me! If I was older-"

He hissed at her "You are not older. That's the thing. You are a kid in every way. Don't ask me to treat you like an adult because you are far from one."

"Get out of here. You're just going to end up back in jail. Besides I don't have time for this. I have to get to a riding lesson."

"A riding lesson?" he asked, bitterly. "So its back to life as normal for you and you leave me twisting in the wind to take the fall for something we both know I didn't do? I didn't hurt you. Tell the truth, please, darlin. Please....Kristina...I'm begging you. You're the only one that can save my life."

"But you did hurt me. You hurt me. And just because you don't care if I liked you doesn't mean that it was okay to do that to me." The bitter little girl in her found it hard to forgive that he let her down just like her father, like Ric, like Keifer. Like every man she every believed in.

With that said she walked away. He screamed after her "Oh, come on! Wait! Don't just walk off. You are destroying my life, little girl!"

She didn't slow down her steps, as she strolled off in her school uniform, the little princess that felt so worthless inside.

When she was alone she cried her eyes out over the mess she made. She didn't want him to suffer at all but she had wanted to protect Keifer. Now that she saw Ethan though she realized that a part of her was pissed at him....he was supposed to be different.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ethan kicked the tire on his car. Damn that brat! She just didn't get that her father was one deadly guy and Ethan's days were numbered if the truth didn't come out.

He wasn't afraid of prison. He knew he deserved to end up there for all his cons anyway. Not that it was fair to go down on a bullshit rap like this but a con guy always half expects to hear the clink of metal cuffs around his wrist.

But this was way past getting in trouble with the law. Not only did Kristina have Ethan's own family looking at him like he was a woman beater but she had a bounty on his head, and her crazy, gun toting older sister was practically stalking him now- to make sure he didn't leave town or beat any other women.

Sonny was just biding his time, since he was on trail, and as soon as it ended he was gonna do what he wanted to do from the start. Get Jason, or one of his other goons, to sink a bullet into Ethan's skull. He could run but the earth wasn't big enough to escape the reach of Kristina's vengeful father.

Ethan's life was not worth two plug nickels right about now and the only one who could change that was the one girl...cause she sure wasn't a woman yet...who didn't seem to give a damn if he lived or died. She said she had a crush on him.

Well if this is how she treated a guy she liked Ethan would hate to know what Kristina would do to an enemy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wait till I get you alone, you little bitch!" Keifer yelled at Kristina, as they stood on the docks. He grabbed her by both arms and yanked her to him.

Before tonight things had been good, ever since the beating that could have killed her if he went a little farther or banged her head down the ground another time. He had been acting remorseful and sweet. But she did something to piss him off- this time insulting him without meaning to- and he went into a rage.

With her lips quivering she cried "You swore never again."

"And you swore you would stop pissing me off!" He started to jerk her toward the parking lot.

"No, please! Not again! Please!" she cried.

Just then Kristina heard a voice behind her "Leave go of her unless you want to know the feeling of a bullet between your eyes."


	193. Ethan and Kristina, two

**Never Saw You Coming**

**Kristina and Ethan**

**April 2010**

**Part Two**

"Leave go of her unless you want to know the feeling of a bullet between your eyes."

As much as Kristina Davis Corinthos did not want to get beat up by her boyfriend that night she would take the beating rather than have anyone find out the truth. That was completely illogical and she knew it but it was how she felt.

Protecting the secret of the truth about the violence in her and Keifer's relationship is what mattered most to her. Her own brain twisted and turned itself inside out to justify her inexcusable actions when it came to letting Ethan take the fall for what her boyfriend did but, in the end, she knew there was no justification. She knew she was all to blame for everything. That guilt fed on her feelings of inadequacy and made her even more able to be controlled by Keifer, and a slave to her secrets.

As more happened the stakes got higher and higher (she killed her own step brother or sister, got her mom arrested for a crime she didn't commit and sentenced for it, and now Ethan could even die for Kristina's actions) and she was caught in the web of her own making.

Standing on the docks that night, with Ethan dragging her away to hit her in private where he could really let loose, Kristina knew that whoever was behind her would figure out the truth. Her jig was up.

And that broke something inside of her.

Turning around, with tears in her eyes, she saw John Zacchara with a gun pointed straight at Keifer. Keifer immediately let Kristina go. He threw up his hands and flashed a fake smile. "This isn't what it looks like."

Johnny moved in, gun still raised, and said "It looks like you were about to attack a defenseless girl who thinks she loves you." Then he glanced at Kristina "Get behind me."

She said, her voice shaky, "I'm fine."

"Please," Johnny asked her, gruffly, his tone pleading and she moved. "Thanks." Then he looked at Keifer. "You are in a world of trouble. Get out of here and don't even think about coming near Kristina again because I will find you and nobody will talk me out of pulling this trigger. If you haven't heard I come from a whole family _full of psychotics_.....try me! So much as glance at her in the hallway from now on and you better sleep with one eye open. You hear me? NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Keifer glared at both of them, his facade falling, before he ran away. Johnny stuck his gun in his holster and turned to Kristina. "You okay?"

"Yeah....he wasn't doing anything."

"I saw everything."

"We were arguing, that's all. I said something stupid-"

"He's the one who beat you up, isn't he?"

"No! He loves me!"

"Come on. We got to go talk to your father."

"No! My Dad's answer for everything is violence. Just like you. Stay out of it and keep your mouth shut about what you think you saw here tonight. You're wrong. Keifer and I have been dating for a while and sometimes we argue. But he doesn't hit me."

"He was dragging you away. What was that about then?"

"He was mad. I told you. He overreacted but he is very stressed out lately about school."

"Don't make excuses for him."

"I'm not! It's the truth! What would you know about going to an ivy prep school, huh?"

"More than you might think. I actually grew up a lot like you. A crazy dad. A mom who tried to shield me but she couldn't. Mine paid for it with her life so I know what kind of violence exists in this business. But that don't change the fact you gotta tell somebody that Keifer is beating on you."

"He's not! God, just drop this. No one will believe you. You're out to get my Dad cause you think he killed your sister. He doesn't trust you. You're friends with Ethan and my Dad will just think you're trying to protect him."

Johnny took out his phone and pressed a button. Holding it up Kristina watched a video start. It was Keifer ranting at her for a few minutes before he grabbed her arm. He had been calling her names in a loud voice and Johnny must have suspected that Keifer was the real culprit for Kristina's attack.

As soon as Keifer actually started to drag her off Johnny had stopped the video recording and ran toward the young couple. Seeing that Johnny had convincing evidence, Kristina's shoulder's deflated.

Her secret was out. She whispered "Don't show anyone that, please. Its so embarrassing. He is supposed to love me....he loves me."

Motioning at the video on his phone Johnny told her "This is not love."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Ethan was laying in bed with a woman he had absolutely no interest in outside of the fact that she was a warm body to curl up with when he didn't want to be alone. She was asleep but he couldn't sleep much at all these days. All he did was think about his fucked up life.

About why he ever moved to Port Charles, all the scams he pulled and people he hurt in his life, all the mistakes he made. Karma was biting him in the ass big time lately.

He also thought about the friendship he used to have with Kristina. It was sweet. They made each other smile. It had seemed harmless. He didn't set out looking for trouble this time but more than his share had landed on his head anyway.

Surviving day to day now was becoming an iffy proposition. He kept trying to find some way to get out of this jam but it came back to the same thing over and over: Kristina had to tell the truth or his ass was done for. And she wasn't talking.

He regretted embarrassing her that night on The Haunted Star and he hated himself for grabbing her arm. He had been drinking that night and he was pissed at her. But after he saw her laying on the floor all beaten up the guilt he was already feeling for putting his hands on her intensified and he felt like scum for being another guy who let her down.

Even now he couldn't hate her. He felt damn sorry for her though and he knew she would hate him for that, if she knew. But that was a moot point cause she already wrote him off.

She was a moody, messed up teenager and he damaged her fragile heart. Teenagers were irrational on good days and reckless enough to get themselves or someone else killed on bad ones.

The someone else this time, it looked like to Ethan, was gonna be him.

He blamed himself for getting in this mess. He could have just stayed away from Kristina all together after Maxie and Spinelli's non-wedding reception. But if Ethan could go back in time he wouldn't go back and never show up that night. Never strike up a sweet little friendship with Kristina. Instead he would go back to when she came to the Haunted Star. He would ask her to go outside and tell her that he would always be the number she could call if she got in trouble but for the next year or so she was in high school and it wasn't cool to hang out.

She had to stick with the high school boys cause Ethan was far from a kid. But when she was older...who knows.

Flash her a smile, put her in a cab, and this would all be cool right now. She might even still trust him enough to tell him who hurt her. And then Ethan could go hurt that guy.

But it didn't go down that way. Ethan was ticked at Kristina but the bitter taste in his mouth was his anger at himself.


	194. Ethan and Kristina, three

**Never Saw You Coming **

**Kristina and Ethan**

**April 2010**

**Part Three**

Kristina looked at Johnny, as they stood in the foyer at Greystone, "I'll...do this...alone. Let me tell him."

"I'm not leaving till he knows."

She nodded, her face pale and her body trembling as she thought about how disappointed her father would be in her.

Sonny called out "Yeah, who is it?"

"Me," Kristina said, in a very small voice as she walked inside "Its just me."

Sonny looked up from where he was making a drink. "You okay, sweetheart?"

"Dad....I gotta tell you something."

"Did that bastard Lovett mess with you again? I will bury him under the jail if he did!"

She stood there shaking and shivering.

Behind her was Johnny, still back by the door. Sonny spotted him and asked "What are you doing here? What do you have to do with my daughter being near tears?"

Johnny sneered "Ask her. But if she don't tell you the truth I'm gonna have to but I pray it don't come to that. If you ain't noticed by now I loathe the idea of helping you with anything."

"I'm pretty sure," Sonny shot back "I told you not to show your face around her again unless you wanted to DIE, you traitor!"

"DAD! STOP! Just stop!" She sobbed. "Stop, please. Don't yell at him. Don't hurt him. Its too much. Its all too much."

"What, sweetheart? What's too much?"

"All of this. The violence in your life...my life....It wasn't Ethan who hurt me."

Sharply, Sonny asked "What? Why are you trying to cover up for him?" He looked at Johnny. "You put her up to this?"

Kristina whispered "Dad.....it was Keifer."

"Huh?"

"It was Keifer. He hit me that night and it wasn't the first time. He hits me when I do stupid things. I caused all this. I messed up. I wore a dress he bought me to go see Ethan because I thought Ethan was different. I thought he liked me. But he doesn't. He's the same as everyone. He treated me like I was nothing. NOTHING! I'm nothing to him. At least Keifer loves me! Please don't hurt him. I love him, Dad. He's my first....we.....we've been....you know... and I love him."

Sonny was panting with anger at that point. He looked at Zacchara "I don't know what you got to do with this but you better get out of my house and I mean now. I gotta talk to my daughter alone."

"Dad, wait, Johnny has something to show you." At that point Kristina wanted it all done with and that meant Sonny seeing with his own eyes the truth.

Johnny sauntered over and showed Sonny the video off his phone. Sonny picked up a glass and smashed it against the wall. Kristina burst into tears.

Sonny told Johnny "Give me that phone." Then he looked at Kristina "I'm taking you home to your mother so we can all sit down and talk about this. Don't worry, princess, you are not in trouble. You did the right thing by coming forward now before its too late."

Johnny walked toward the door. "I think I'll keep my phone. Thanks. And if your guards think about grabbing me I'll smash it and there goes the evidence."

Sonny sneered out "Why would you protect Keifer? Even you aren't that depraved."

"I only look out for one person since you got my sister killed and that person is me. This video helps me so I'm keeping it. Have Diane subpoena it. And, by the way," he said in a bitter tone "you are welcome for me saving your daughter from another beating. I won't hold my breath waiting on the thank you card."

Johnny walked out while Sonny tried to take Kristina in his arms but she jerked away.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Johnny ended up at Ethan's door. He knocked and after a minute he knocked louder then called out "If you're in there open up. I got to tell you something and, believe me, you're not gonna wanna miss it."

Anotherminute passed and the door opened. Ethan was jerking on a shirt. He stepped into the hall.

Johnny asked "Early to bed?" with a raised eyebrow.

"Get on with it. What do you want? My time is kinda limited right about now. Considering I could die any day now I don't feel like wasting a minute on bullshit."

"This isn't bullshit." Johnny took out the phone and played the video.

Though Ethan had long ago put two and two together that Kristina's abuser was probably her boyfriend seeing Keifer yelling at her and grabbing her still was a shock to his system. Kristina was so tiny. A skinny and small girl. She cowered in front of him in the video and it made Ethan see red.

Ethan slammed his fist against the wall and the shook his hand, since it immediately throbbed withpain. "That son of a bitch!"

"Now we know who has been knocking her around at least."

"I'm gonna knock his ass around for a little bit!"

"Hey, hold up. Keifer is a teenager-"

"So he gets a free pass?" Ethan's eyes were dark with rage. "Maybe in your book but not in mine."

"What I'm getting at is he is home with his parents right now so nothing can be done tonight. You need a drink and to chill. See the upside...you're not gonna get whacked now."

"What happened after that video ended?"

"I got her out of there."

"Good. You took her home?"

"To Sonny's. That asshole was in rare form tonight. Its always about his pain with that guy. Women and children are just accessories for him. My sister was just another person to verbally abuse and threaten and he thinks he's a whole lot better than Kristina's boyfriend. Yeah, right!"

"What did Kristina say about all this?"

"That I should leave it alone at first but when she realized that wasn't happened she came clean with Sonny."

Ethan let a breath hiss through his teeth. "So its over then."

"For you. I think its just getting started for her...dealing with the fall out, that is. At least she won't get hit again. Damn, she's just a kid. She shouldn't have had to put up with that shit."

Ethan raked his hands through his hair. "I should have made it better for her. Damn it! I could have made it better if I didn't get caught up in another scam and blow her off."

"She has way too many problems for you to do a damn thing to help her. She needs her family and probably a good therapist."

"Yeah, well, who don't? DAMN IT!"

"Chill out. She's safe now and that's a good thing."

"Yeah....but this is gonna leave scars that nobody sees and who's gonna be there for that girl? Not me."

"Hey, you were as nice to her as you could be for a while there, right? You did what you could."

"No. I did the bare minimum and then headed for the hills. No wonder she threw that drink in my face. Yeah, she's too young to be in my bed but I could been a friend for her. That girl needs somebody that don't let her down."

"Well it ain't gonna be you. Stay away from her. You dodged the bullet this time, literally. Next time you could end up dead for trying to be her friend. Listen to me, I know how the world she lives in works. Kristina is the daughter of a mob boss. She should live behind big walls and bullet proof glass but her mother is trying to pretend that all is normal. It ain't and Kristina is never gonna be a normal girl and ain't never gonna grow up into a normal woman. Just the way it works. You were never gonna be able to fix what's wrong in her cause she never stood a chance the moment the world found out Sonny is her father."

Johnny walked away, leaving Ethan standing there thinking about how he couldn't write off Kristina so easily.


	195. Ethan and Kristina, four

**Never Saw You Coming **

**Kristina and Ethan**

**May 2010**

**Part Four**

One day a few weeks later Kristina spotted Ethan sitting at a table in Kelly's, right after she walked in. She hesitated and then went over to his table. "I know you probably hate me right about now and the last thing you wanna do is talk to me but....I need to tell you that I'm sorry....Okay, I'll leave you alone now."

He cleared his throat and motioned at the chair across from him. "You can sit, if you want."

"Uh....okay." She sat down and dropped her book bag at her feet. "I'm really sorry for blaming you for what Keifer did. I was trying to protect him. I never wanted you to get hurt but once I said it I didn't know how to take it back and then I thought about what you did to me....and when they asked "Who hurt you?" I answered the truth because you did hurt me....it hurt more than the beating and I know you probably think that sounds stupid."

"You are not stupid. What you did was way out of line though. I could be in the river right about now." His eyes twinkled a little. "But I'm not so no harm, no foul, I guess, right, Shiela?"

At her blank expression he added "That's just a nickname we use down under...its nothing...forget it. Anyway, what I meant to say is, yeah, I'm pissed but I'm not dead and I accept responsibility for all the ways I hurt you that night and for grabbing your arm. I messed up. I have no excuse. I don't want you to forgive me cause its not cool to do that. It shouldn't be forgiven."

"I did something so much worse to you, Ethan! You have to hate me now. Don't be nice to me. I can't handle it."

"Whoa, calm down, darlin. I'm not saying we can be buddies again cause we can't."

"Oh."

He sat back in his chair. "You're just too young to run with me."

"I won't be young forever."

"Yeah but don't go holding out hope for us. Lets just put it on the table right now: me and you as anything but friends ain't ever happening."

"I feel so dumb for thinking you liked me."

"I did like you."

"You just said-"

"But my feelings have changed and they won't change back. Too much water under that bridge. Besides I had no business liking you. I'm on the wrong side of 21 for you."

"I'll be 18 in six months."

"Listen up, it wouldn't matter if you were 18 right now. You can't change my feelings, okay? Nothing ever will change the pain we've caused each other. There is no going back. Still I want you to remember that I did like you and you are worth a lot more than that boyfriend ever told you that you were."

"He got jumped."

"A blind man could have saw that coming. A lot of people care about you. I know because they all came after me when they thought I attacked you. Your sister Sam could be a proffessional kickboxer if she wanted. When she aims she don't miss. Maybe she took a pound of flesh out of Keifer."

"I think Michael did it."

"Your brother loves you very much. If another guy messes with you make sure you tell one of your brothers about it....and I mean that, Kristina."

"Yeah, sure, I know that now."

"Secrets have a way of turning into poison."

"Tell me about it."

"I better get going. I'm supposed to be at work already. Tracy will have my head if she shows up and finds out I'm late again." Ethan stood up. "Take care, Kristina."

"I'm sorry.....I know I said it already but..."

"I know you are and I'm sorry too. Lets just call it a draw." He walked out.

She turned and watched him go, hoping he would look back but he never did.

XXXXXXXXXXX

**December 2010**

Kristina was sure she was over her crush on Ethan until she saw him walking past a coffee shop she was sitting in with her friends. The snow was falling outside.

His arm was around the shoulder of Rebecca Shaw, who came to town to visit for the holidays, and they had the look of being lovers as their heads were pressed close together in intimate conversation. The smiles on their faces just screamed that they were fucking.

For a brief moment Kristina would have done anything to be the woman who Ethan looked at that way.

(_Is she the type _

_that you always said_

_could satisfy your head?_

_-_

_Ohh, jealousy_

_Ohhh, my jealousy_

_Ohhh, jealousy_

_-_

_Does she talk_

_the way I do?_

_-_

_Is her voice_

_reminding you_

_of the promises,_

_little white lies too._

_-_

_Sometimes tell me_

_while she's touching you_

_just by mistake_

_do you accidently_

_say my name_?)

(Natalie Merchant)

XXXXXXXXXXX

**September 2011**

A year gone by and they were at another wedding reception. This time it was Ethan who sat at a table and brooded away, watching Kristina in the arms of her new lover. This one was damn near a gangster, at least the nineteen year old version of it, with a real bad attitude and a motorcycle. Clearly she was trying to save him from going down the path her father had went down.

By the way this kid looked at Kristina maybe she had a shot. He was completely into her. They danced together with their eyes telling Ethan all he needed to know about how they were definitely having sex.

He wanted to be happy for her. A little part of him was. But there was a part that was burning with something else. The feeling that he wanted to make her new man disappear so Kristina would look at Ethan again with all that pretty, sweet, lovely infatuation in her eyes that she used to have. But he told himself to man up and stop lusting over a near child. Sure she was growing up but she was far from grown.

He went to the bar and got him a shot.

After that he headed home, waving off his brother and sister when they tried to get him to stick around a little longer. He knew better than to sit around and think about a girl who wasn't ever gonna be his.

He walked home that night and let the cool night air get his head on straight again. Kristina was a nice girl but just a girl...even if she was now 18 and had a new lover. He just better treat her right because if Ethan heard different he'd pay this new guy a visit just like he had Keifer.

Jail never scared Ethan. But the idea of Kristina ever seeing a raised hand coming at her again sent shivers down his spine.

XXXXXXXXXXX

**May 2012**

"Why aren't you dancing, darlin?" he asked, when he bumped into her at yet another wedding.

He didn't give this couple three months but free booze was still free booze. After the year he had he could use a good stiff drink. He had went and got himself another damn broken heart, courtesy of a chick who never mentioned her heart was already taken before she got in his bed. The sting of Rebecca calling it off for the third...or was it the fourth time, who could keep count when it happened so often...had barely wore off when he met another woman and tried to have himself a grand old time.

Just some fun in the sack, laughs at The Haunted Star, pool at Jake's, nights in her bed or his as often as they could find the time. Really he did not ask for much but when it came to love he always fell for the wrong dames.

The ones that needed warning signs on them. Like little, even if she was not so little anymore, Kristina Davis Corinthos, the broken hearted mob princess who could kill you and walk away without saying sorry. But she would think it, for all the good that did you.

Anyway, she sounded worse than she was and Ethan knew it. He actually still had a soft spot for her after all this time.

Kristina was working a black dress that night. Her dark eyes twinkled as she teased him "The guy I want to dance with thinks he's too old for me."

"Fool."

They moved to the dance floor without saying anything else and into each other arm's. "So what have you been up to?" Ethan asked.

"School, volunteering, fighting with my parents. The usual. My life is tragically boring."

He laughed. "I doubt that."

"What about you? Still singing on karaoke nights?"

He chuckled and dipped her. "Not so much these days."

She was smiling as he straightened them back up. "That's a shame. I love your voice."

"You are one of a small minority then."

They danced for a while together before she said "Will you save me a dance at the next wedding we both end up at? Or fundraiser or whatever?"

"I could do that, darlin."

"Or maybe we could meet at Jake's."

He grinned and they kept dancing. He didn't answer her but the look in his eyes said he would leave it up to fate.

THE END


	196. Liked You Best, Georgie & Diego

Written for a challenge called Pick Three- Georgie, Diego, came back after presumed dead

This is the song that is used: I Always Liked That Best by Cyndi Thomson

**Liked You Best**

**Georgie and Diego**, AU

She felt his presence before she turned her eyes and saw him standing at the top of the stairs on the docks. Her dark, handsome man who didn't even remember her. They tried to avoid each other now. His choice. He said he needed time. The family business was in turmoil right now. His life was a mess. He had to rebuild.

Apparently without her. She was part of the old life. Before the car wreck that left him with amnesia and her thinking he had burned to death.

Diego Alcazar used to be her secret sin. The one guy who made her forget her morals and her mind. She never could regret him or how free he made her feel. But at moments like this its hard because he looks at her and he's not really seeing Georgie Jones at all. He's not seeing all they were or all he knows about her.

He just see his ex who expects things he can't give. Like love. Like a home. Like support in getting through the day to day madness in this town. But he has nothing to give her cause he don't know her like that.

Still he seems concerned about her, when they met in public, and though it isn't much it is something. She clings to that like it's the lifeline that will lead him home.

And she clings to her memories. God, how she clings to the memories.

(_Where do I start?_

_-  
Lying on a blanket _

_underneath the stars  
with _

_your head on my chest  
I always liked that best_)

Clearing his throat, as he descended the stairs, he asked "Should you be out here alone?"

"Probably not. My Dad would worry if he knew. I just needed some air. I'm on a break."

"Kelly's, right?"

"Right."

He gives her a sad, small smile. "Well, let me walk you back."

"I still have a few minutes. You don't gotta stay."

"I'll stay." He stands there as if he doesn't know what else to say or do.

And she says what she knows she shouldn't. "We used to love to look at the stars together."

Pain flashes in his dark eyes. "Yeah?"

"We'd go in your backyard late at night when I told my dad I was sleeping at Brooklyn's. I hated lying but....you were worth it."

It was all so worth it.

(_I hate how_

_times flies_

_-  
I still think back sometimes  
bout your lips_

_on my neck_

_-  
I always liked that best)_

He breaks eye contact and looks up at the stars. "Looks different than in Venezuela."

She asked him before if he had a girl down there but he was vague about it. His answer could mean he wasn't well enough or that he just didn't want to hurt her by saying yes. All she knew was he didn't flat out say no.

But maybe he hadn't wanted to encourage her.

"Everything is different here but that doesn't mean its worse. Just different. You used to like it okay."

"Oh yeah? Cool. Maybe I'll get used to it then."

"You didn't want to come back, did you?"

"My Pop needed me."

"You didn't wonder....."

"Georgie," he warns.

She stands up. "Sorry." Moving past him she says "I need to get back. You don't have to walk me."

He used to always take her to work, and show up during her shifts to try and sneak kisses in the kitchen, and pick her up afterwards. Back when his father was making him go to college and Georgie could pretend Diego wasn't a mob prince.

(_That time _

_we took a ride  
ended up down by the river side_

_-  
Soft touch _

_Wet kiss  
I always liked that best_)

"I'll walk you," he insists and falls into step next to her. When they are in front of the diner he tells her "I did wonder. All the time. I thought if I came back here I'd see someone or something that reminded me...." the way his words die out tell her what she already knows anyway: nothing reminded him of his past. Not even her.

"Are you still seeing Dr. Winters?"

"No time. Work is crazy lately."

"Work!" she cries with a hmpf.

He had been so close to graduating and having half a chance to do something other than be a mobster butt that was all blown to hell now. Like everything else.

Feeling ashamed for putting him down she apologizes "Sorry. I just know you were born for better than this but I respect your choice."

"Thanks. You better get back to work. Your boss looks like he is looking for you."

"I better go. It looks like we got slammed."

He used to kiss her cheek when they parted. Now he stands far away with his hands in his pockets.

"Bye, Georgie. Hope you have a good night."

_Have a good life, Georgie_, is what she hears, _and remember it will be without me_.

"Sure. I'll try. Bye."

She hurries inside and gets back to work. A few minutes later she catches him staring at her through the window, as if he is trying his hardest to place her but it isn't working. He used to always know her by heart.

_  
(I like the way _

_you used to hold me_

_-  
I like the way _

_you came to know me_

_-  
You came to know me well,_

_well,_

_well...._

_I could go on_

_So many things I miss now that you're gone._

_-_

_Your love, oh yes,_

_I always liked that best_)

**THE END**


	197. Princess, Ethan and Kristina

**Princess**

**Kristina and Ethan**

**May 2010**

It wasn't easy to get his phone number. She didn't even bother to ask his father, sister or brother for it. They all hated her. Even if they said they didn't.

Kristina Davis Corinthos might be a bitter, twisted, spoiled brat but she was not an idiot. Anyone with Spencer blood was holding a grudge against her. She didn't blame them.

They couldn't hate her anymore than she hated herself at the moment.

The lie she told about Ethan had chased him out of Port Charles and to God knows where. She certainly had no clue if he was back in Australia, just across the border in Canada, on some beach in Mexico or holed up in some apartment in Rochester. He could be close by or thousands of miles away.

She was sure that by now someone had told him that he could come back to Port Charles if he wanted. That everyone knew it was Keifer who had beaten her up. That Ethan's life wasn't in danger anymore.

The truth came out over three weeks ago but he was still not back in town. Then one day Kristina was at Kelly's, her grandfather was in the kitchen getting her take out order, and she noticed that Lucky's phone was sitting on the counter. He was distracted with his boys, who were over by the juke box.

Kristina slipped the phone off the counter and into her pocket. She went to the ladies room. Looking through the contacts she found Ethan's name and made the call.

"Lovett here. Tell me that dear old Dad isn't in a jam cause I'm not in the mood right now to go pulling his behind out of the fire."

"Ethan," she yelped.

"Who is this?"

"Its me. Its....uh...Kristina."

"What in the hell? How did you get my brother's phone?"

"I'm sorry! For everything, I'm so sorry but its over now and you can come back."

He let out a bitter chuckle. "Darlin, you've seen the last of my face around those parts." Click.

She called him again but it went to voicemail. Her throat grew thick with unshed tears and hers eyes stung. She left him a message: _Please come back. I really am sorry and I know you hate me but maybe one day you won't. I really did like you so much. I know that sounds stupid...but...its true. Please just don't let me keep you from your family. Come back. I'll leave you alone, I promise. You'll never have to talk to me again....just come back. Come back, Ethan_!

Then she started crying because something inside of her knew that Ethan Lovett had been speaking the truth. She wasn't going to see his face ever again.

(_Holding on,_

_the days drag on._

_Stupid girl, _

_she have known._

_Should have known!_

_I'm not a princess._

_This ain't a fairytale_.) (Taylor Swift)

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**November 2013**

She waited in the line of mourners at the funeral. For once she wasn't thinking about herself. Thinking about how seeing him would affect her, how her body would react, how her mind would cope, how the memories would rush back to smack her in the face.

Her little girl crush died such a violent death. That crush was history now. That little girl turned into a twenty one year old woman who had hard edges that scared her neurotic mother and worried her mobster daddy. They used to not be able to see her faults but a person would have to blind to not see how cold she was now.

It was easier to be numb.

Sure boys had tried to come along and fix her. Love her better. But they were just boys and they didn't have what she needed. Kristina was pretty sure no one in the world had what it took to help her feel alive again now. Too much had happened in her life. She was battle scarred and permanently shell shocked.

Someway along the way she learned not to care about anyone enough to let them break her. No boyfriend at least. She let in her brother Michael and her sister Sam. Molly was still to young to get it. Morgan too naive, even after all that went down. In time they would both get burned enough to know what the rest of them long ago learned: the world was a fucked up place and they weren't getting any happy endings.

But she wasn't here to boo hoo about her miserable little existence. She didn't want to let him see the hurt etched in her eyes from the last man who was a liar, from the baby that would never take a breath, from the time she was just a second away from being raped. She wouldn't show Ethan the damage that got done since he last saw her.

Maybe she should have stayed away but she never even considered doing that. Now she was here and it was her turn to shake his hand. Her eyes connected with his and held. "I'm sorry."

He bent and kissed her cheek. "So am I, luv."

Then she had to move on and shake Lucky's hand, then Lulu and then hug Laura and soon she was at the cemetery surrounded by a sea of black. Her parents and his parents and half the town had come to mourn Luke Spencer's passing.

Kristina stood next to a man who wanted to sleep with her. But her eyes were on Ethan the whole time. Beneath her sunglasses she watched him. He looked exhausted, broken, barely holding it together.

It wasn't her place to comfort him. She knew he'd never let her and she wasn't going to try. But a part of her, that little girl part that thought he was so cool, wanted to anyway.

_(Baby I was naive,_

_got lost in your eyes._

_And never really had a chance._

_-_

_My mistake,_

_I didn't know to be in love_

_you had to fight to have the upper hand._

_-_

_I had so many dreams about you and me,_

_happy endings._

_Now I know_

_I'm not a princess_)

XXXXXXXXX

**July 2014**

She knows its not safe to be on the docks so late at night. She should have gaurds. She's just asking to be killed, really, but at this point Kristina is way too torn up to care.

Sitting there on the bench she sobbed her guts out.

She never even heard the man approach until he was crouching down in front of her, murmuring "Oh, darlin, what bloke did this to you this time?"

Hiccuping as she answered she didn't even care anymore how weak she looked. Her hard fought for shell blown to bits all because she let herself believe in someone again. "In our bed....I caught them."

"Right, okay," he said, understanding what she meant and making a desicion in that moment.

Ethan stood and scooped Kristina into his arms. He took her to his car, put her in the passenger seat, got a napkin to wipe her face and then asked "Where do you wanna go, luv?"

The look in her eyes was his answer and soon they were back at his place. He had stayed in town after his father's death but he didn't go around Kristina. The years had left a distance between them that Ethan thought it better to leave be. But that didn't change the fact that when they were near to each other something sizzled between them, like a live wire, an awareness that existed from the first time they met. Way back when it was so wrong to feel that way but it was out of their control.

Now they were in control. Now they were both adults who had been to hell and back trying to love the wrong people.

Not that Kristina really believed Ethan could be her hero. Be the man she needed. Make this ache subside, the one that was in her since way before she ever kissed any man.

But that night she was too hurt to fight it anymore. Too shattered to spend the energy it would take to build a new wall right now.

She had messed up. She believed in her boyfriend of three months, the one whose arms she fell into one night after seeing Ethan at the Metro Court and watching him from across the room, desperate for some kind of attention from him. That night her face was a mask of indifference, while inside her blood thumped thick and fast through her veins burning with jealousy over watching him on a date with a stunning blonde.

Needing someone to touch her and make her remember she could feel more than regret she went and knocked on the door of the guy who had been after her for eight months. She gave in. He swore she was all he ever wanted in all his life.

Lies. All lies. All fairytales. She should have known better. She did know better. She just let herself forget for a while and now her body was shaking with pain because she actually had thought he loved her.

After all these years, it looked like, she was still the stupid girl she'd always been.

(_I'm gonna find someone_

_some day  
who might actually treat me well!_

__

This is a big world.

That was a small town  
there in my rearview mirror  
disappearing now.)

There was nothing that had ever felt more right than when Ethan's hand clasped hers and led her from the car to his front door. He gave her a small grin, as his thumb wiped away a stray tear, "Place could be a little bit of a wreck. I can't afford a maid, you know, on my working man's salary."

Then he unlocked the door, having to leave go of her hand to do it, and stepped inside, flipping on a light. Kristina came in and looked all around.

Ethan blushed a little and looked down. "Fancy, ain't it, darling?"

"Its....okay. Nice, I mean." She sniffled. "Got a bathroom?"

He blanched a little. "Give me a minute." He hurried from the room. She heard him cleaning up the bathroom, picking up towels and magazines probably, and soon he was back. "All yours."

"Thanks." Inside there she washed her face, tried to fix her hair and make up, and looked at herself for a long moment in the mirror. She felt so damn old already. Was life really this tragic for everyone or just her?

She went years pushing every guy away that tried to get close. Hooking up a few times. Never making love. And the first time she lets someone past her defenses he screws around on her in her own damn bed. She felt like she was asking for it, somehow, like she deserved this.

Karma was coming for Kristina Davis Corinthos again and it was coming with a vengeance. Mean little bitches don't get happy endings. She knew that so why did she let herself pretend?

When she came out she found that Ethan had made her some hot tea. "Earl Grey. Fixes everything."

"No thank you. I need to go. I'll call a cab."

"Go where?"

"I can stay with my brother."

"Who will go kill your boyfriend when he sees your tear stained face."

"Probably."

"And that's cool with you?"

She opened her purse and took out her phone. "Look I was a mess when you found me. I'm all right now. Thanks for the save but, if you don't mind, stay out of my business."

He threw up his hands. "Have it your way. I just think-"

"What? What do you think? That I'm a cold hearted bitch? You're right. Better than being a victim!"

"I think you will feel like shit if you let Michael kill that piece of garbage that cheated on you."

"You see, that is where you are wrong. I won't feel a damn thing." She started to dial her phone.

Ethan said "Or you could stay here and cool off a little bit. You don't wanna go and do something you'll regret just cause you're hurting tonight, do ya? Cause I think you're way too tender, deep down inside, to let anyone turn you into this."

He reached out and put his hand over her phone. His eyes begged hers to give in. She let him take the phone.

"Thank, luv." Ethan went and sat on the couch.

Kristina sat on a nearby chair.

He motioned at the tea. "Sugar?"

"Sure. Lots of it actually."

"Coming right up." His lanky frame bounded off the couch and to the kitchen, bringing back all these packets that came from Kelly's and a spoon.

Kristina smirked a little when she used them. Then she sipped her tea. "My mom used to make me this kind."

"Soothes all your woes."

Her eyes held his for a long moment and then dropped. She didn't want play the fool again and believe in anyone being anything but a future heartbreak.

(_And it's too late for you and your white horse._

_  
Now its too late for you and your white horse  
to catch me now_.)

They ended up spending all night talking. At sunrise Ethan closed all the curtains and got Kristina a blanket and pillow. "Sleep, luv, and no ordering hits when I'm conked out."

She lay there for a while after he left the room, thinking of how for so long she would have done anything to get back in the same room as him again and now she was in his home. Years had gone by but she didn't feel smarter, wiser, braver.

She still felt shaky inside. The only difference she is worked overtime to not look it outside too. Kristina was glad it was Ethan who found her on the docks and not someone who would use her moment of weakness against her.

Right or wrong she still felt butterflies when she looked into those roughish, filled with sin, eyes of his, when she saw that crooked smile that seemed so innocent but everyone knew was hiding secrets and lies.

Laying there she felt as safe as she had in all her life and easily drifted off to sleep. The next afternoon she woke up, had a late lunch of eggs with Ethan, and then a guard came to pick her up.

Standing outside Ethan's place she told him "I owe you big."

"You don't owe me a damn thing, darlin. But if you wanna pay me back then you can do one thing for me." He stepped close. His voice dropped. "Make sure the next man you let touch you deserves the privilege."

Her heart leapt. The butterflies danced. And she tried her best to remember how foolish it was to believe in love. But Kristina Davis Corinthos just couldn't recall all the pain she lived with her whole life. Not in that particular second.

She was too busy falling.

(_Oh whoa whoa whoa-oh  
try and catch me now_

_  
Whoa_

_Ohhhhhh_

_  
It's too late_

_to catch me now_)

THE END


	198. Can't Resist You, Ethan and Kristina

**Note- **Till GH gives me something else to root for as far as Kristina goes I'm sticking with this bandwagon. Also, Ethan is awesome and I've thought so from the start. Love that boy!

The premise of this is that their chemistry makes them unable to stay away from each other. They both wanna make up so they do, despite all the past pain.

**Can't Resist You**

**Kristina and Ethan**

**June 2011**

She was standing on the docks on her first afternoon home from boarding school. With her phone pressed to her ear she was gabbing at her friend about some party that was coming up that weekend when she heard a man clear his throat.

Just from that sound alone- a low, throaty, sorta muffled laughing sound- she knew who it was. Jerking her gaze to the side their eyes met. She told her friend she had to go and disconnected the call.

In a teasing tone Kristina Corinthos Davis said "I must be the last person you ever wanna lay eyes on again."

"Its forgotten, luv. Water under the proverbial bridge and all that junk."

She chuckled. "I seriously doubt that but you're sweet for saying so."

"Sweet?" Ethan Lovett let out a laugh. "Not hardly. But I do try my best to treat the ladies well these days. It's a lesson I learned the hard way." Their eyes held for a moment and then he asked "So, how was school?"

"It had its moments. I needed to get away. Things were sorta closing in on me here. Summer school never sounded so good as it did last year. My parents were glad to get me out of here because all I did was cause drama and problems. But, yeah, you know that already so anyway...."

They both chuckled. He asked "Busy right now?"

"Nope. Why?"

"I was going to Kelly's." He gestured that way. "In the mood for some coffee?"

"Not really."

"Uh...okay then, darlin, well it was good to see you again. You take care of yourself, you hear me?" He then teased "No more drama or problems."

"I'll try."

"Okay, well, I'm gonna take off. Later, Kristina."

Ethan headed up the stairs. Kristina called after him "I'm not in the mood for coffee but I'd love to hang out anyway."

He spun around, with a big smile on his face, "You got me that time."

She smiled back.

"Well, then, after you, luv."

She walked across the docks, up the stairs, flashed him a little smile and then walked in front of him toward the diner.

After they got to Kelly's Kristina hugged her grandfather. Ethan got his coffee and she had some water with lemon in it. They sat at a table. For a half an hour they made small talk before she asked "So, are you seeing anybody lately?"

Ethan chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Are you gonna start this again, darlin?"

She gave him a huge smile. "What? I'm just curious!"

"I just bet you are. How about you tell me first if you found yourself a boyfriend at that fancy boarding school your old man packed you away to and then I will think about answering your question."

"Need time to think up a good story so I won't bug you?"

"Not at all. Don't you know? I'm a former con man. I don't need time to come up with a good story. They roll off my tongue like water."

She smiled sweetly at him. "Former?"

"Oh! You wound me! I will have you know that I gave up that lifestyle and went straight."

"My Dad says you work with Johnny Zacchara. That doesn't sound very straight to me."

"Your father is confused. That association is past tense." His eyes twinkled at her.

"Oh, okay, whatever you say," she said, in a way that said she knew it probably was not but didn't care.

There was a time when Kristina thought she could never be friendly with Ethan again but time had made her grow up and see things with new eyes. The moment she turned and looked at him on the docks earlier she had felt that sizzle of awareness shoot through her like the first time she ever saw him at Jake's.

And she knew one thing for sure right then: Nothing was over yet.

Kristina took a sip of her water. "Yes, I found a guy at boarding school. It lasted a few months but wasn't, you know, serious. Its over now. He lives in Pennsylvania so, yeah, that won't work too good unless I go to college down there and my mother insists on Yale."

"So I'll be losing you at the end of summer?" he flirted with her.

"Middle of August actually. Just ten weeks away."

"That's not much time."

"Nope."

He leaned over the table and his voice dropped "Guess we'll have to make the most of it then, luv."

Kristina couldn't help it. She loved his sexy Australian drawl; the low timbre of his voice; how his eyes lit with mischief. He was sexy as hell and she always felt weak to his charms.

But she wasn't going to chase him all around town this time. If he was into her, cool, if not then she had lots of things to do this summer to fill up her time- like friends, family and volunteering. But if Ethan wanted to be part of her summer then she would happily let him.

The crush she used to have on him died. But it looked like a new infatuation was flaring up to take its place.

Kristina asked Ethan "Just so there is no confusion....."

He smirked at her, sat back and crossed his arms over chest. "Yes, luv?"

"Are you into me?"

Ethan grinned at her. "You don't beat around the bush, do ya?"

"I don't want to misread your signals this time."

"Okay then, fair enough." He scooted into the chair next to her, put his arm around the back of the chair and leaned close to Kristina. "Would you go to dinner and a movie with me?"

Just then Sam and Jason walked in. Ethan rolled his eyes and muttered "Here we go," as he moved back into the other seat so he was across the table from Kristina.

Sam cried "Krissy! Hey! What are you doing....can we talk over here?"

Kristina was all warm and tingly from Ethan being near her, practically whispering his invitation in her ear, so it took a moment for her to respond to her sister, who was being all jumpy and nervous over the idea of Ethan and Kristina interacting again.

Kristina said to Ethan "Give me a moment." Then she stood up "Hi, Jason."

Jason just nodded at her then he gave Ethan a long look filled with warnings.

Kristina and Sam went by the counter. Sam touched her sister's arm. "What are you doing with that guy?"

"What did it look like? Talking."

"Don't be flip. Look, Krissy, don't get this all started again, okay? It was a mess before and you don't need that in your life. You have yourself together now."

"Ethan is a friend. I'm lucky he will even talk to me. Don't try and ruin this for me."

"I'm not. I just love you and I'm worried."

Kristina glanced over her shoulder at Ethan and their eyes met. He was trying to engage Jason in conversation but it wasn't working. "Sam, I know what I'm doing, okay? If anything goes down that I can't handle I'll come to you, promise, but right now I just wanna have fun this summer. The last school year was tough and Yale will be killer too so let me enjoy my summer break with whoever I want, okay? That's not too much to ask is it?"

"Sure. Enjoy your break. With kids your own age. He's still too old for you."

Kristina shrugged. "That's for him to decide." Then she walked back to the table. Looking at Ethan she held out her hand. "Phone." He gave it to her and she said "You have a lock on this." He took it back, grinning, and unlocked it before giving it back.

Sam shook her head "Krissy, come on!" Then she said to Ethan "You know you are too old for her! Be a decent guy and don't mess with her head."

Kristina put her number in Ethan's phone. "Call me. I need to get going. Molly wanted to go to the bookstore tonight and I told her I'd drive her."

Ethan stood up. "I'll walk you to your car. Probably safer for me anyway," he threw a look at Sam and Jason "and that way I'll know you're safe too."

Jason stepped in their way. "Kristina, would you like me to walk you to your car?"

"I'm good," she answered.

Jason moved aside. Kristina and Ethan left together. Ethan shivered as they walked away from Kelly's. "That guy is creepy! He just stares right through a person."

"Jason is all right. He's one of my Dad's closest friends and I've known him all my life. He's been on and off with Sam for that whole time too. Don't let him get to you. He's just very protective of my Dad's kids."

"So I could end up with two broken hands if I dare put them on you? I almost forget how risky you are to be around."

"Its all coming back to you, now, huh? I'm sorry if Sam scared you off. But I get it, I guess. I'm surprised you're not getting flashbacks after the hell me and my family put you through."

"I was no angel in that mess."

"I lied about you and could have cost you your life. There is no excuse for my behavior. I was a wreck back then. Sam doesn't want me ending up like that again but you, Ethan, didn't cause me to behave how I did. I did that all on my own. I was pretty stupid for a while there."

"Hey, we're all stupid sometimes. Like me, I've done things that would make you seriously reconsider wanting to stand next to me, let alone let me take you out, but that's not stopping me from asking you."

She lit up. She stopped walking and looked at him. "Really?"

He brushed some hair behind her ear. Then he threw his arms out and did an exaggerate gesture that meant he was helpless to resist their chemistry. "Maybe I'm crazy for getting this going again but.....I wanna spend time with you.....I don't know....its still there for me. Will you let me take you to dinner and a movie?"

She nodded.

He grinned and said "Very cool! I will call you then and we'll figure out details."

They started walking again, soon she was in her car and he was watching her drive away. Kristina was very lucky she did not crash her car because she was in such a dreamy haze over Ethan. She didn't expect to hook up with him this summer. She didn't think he'd even talk to her again.

But it looked like she had underestimated just how intense the attraction between them really was. It wasn't just one sided on her part. He felt it too. He wanted her too.

She was finally grown up enough to give them a real chance. Some things just can't be denied no matter how much the world says they need to be and the connection between Kristina and Ethan was one of those things.

Nothing can stop something that is meant to be.

THE END


	199. Sequel to Can't Resist You

**Sequel to Can't Resist You**

**Ethan and Kristina **

**Part One**

**June 2011**

"Keep driving past my house. At the next road hang a left. That takes you by the lake."

Ethan and Kristina were coming home from their first date. He had no intention of parking anywhere with her but she had other ideas. Soon they were sitting near the lake with the moon high above the water.

He got out of the car and leaned against the hood. She got out and sat on the car. She asked "Do you know how many times I've walked around this lake? Feels like a million. I never appreciated how peaceful it is out here till I was at boarding school. Its quiet, you know....I can think here."

Ethan placed one hand on her thigh and rubbed it gently. "Tonight was fantastic, baby."

Their eyes met and held for a long moment. He lifted his hand to cup her face and then brought his lips to hers in a very gentle kiss. A moment later he broke away, his forehead resting against hers.

Ethan ground out, in a heated whisper, "You are such a temptation for me, you get that, right?"

"I am?"

Looking in her eyes he said "Only every second I'm near you. Otherwise, no, not at all."

She smiled a little bit and then brought her lips to his, eager to truly taste him and kiss him in a sensual, adult way that she craved. The last thing Kristina wanted was to be treated with kid gloves by anyone- especially Ethan.

Her heart race as she got caught up in their kisses. Before she knew it he was lifting her up, her legs were wrapping around his waist, and then he was laying her back on the hood. Her hands were pinned over her head as he nipped at her lips. When he looked in her eyes again his were sparking with dark, simmering lust unlike what she had ever seen in a man's gaze before.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, lifted her head and kissed him again- harder, deeper, telling him she wanted more and she wasn't afraid of this thing raging between them. He straightened, pulling her up with him. When he pulled out of the kiss both of their breathing was shallow. He held her against him.

"Darlin," he murmured "this is bound to cause us nothing but trouble."

"Not this time."

He chuckled. "You really believe that, don't ya?"

"It can be different-"

"Oh, Kristina-"

"It can be! I'm different."

"Sweetheart, its not about that. Its about where I am in my life compared to you. I shouldn't be within miles of you cause I get within sight of you and that's it.....I can't stop myself from going to your side. Never could."

"That's....good. What's bad about that? That's how its supposed to be, isn't it?"

He shook his head wearily. After a moment he asked "Ten weeks, huh?" Till she went off to college.

"Not even that long now."

He stared into her eyes. Moving his mouth near hers he said "I'll show you how its supposed to be, baby." Then they were kissing again.

Kristina knew that her age made Ethan worried but she wasn't the least bit concerned. All she knew was he sent butterflies through her and that had to mean something. It was powerful to think she did the same for him too.

This summer he was hers, unlike the past when he was just a crush. Now they were real and she planned to enjoy every second of being his girl.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Kristina and Ethan stood on her porch, after their date, smiling at each other and talking softly when Alexis happened to come home. Seeing them she said "This is worrisome sight indeed."

"Mom, please,-"

"Good evening, Ms. Davis. Good to see you again."

"I see you wasted no time in connecting with my daughter again once she came back to town."

"Mom! Ethan just happened to run into me-"

"Of course he did. It's a small town after all. And did he also just happened to follow you home?"

"Ms. Davis, you're right. This was all pre-mediated on my part."

Kristina raised an eyebrow and looked at Ethan.

He went on "I heard Kristina was coming back to town and I planned to ask her on a date the first chance I got. That ended up being when I saw her on the docks the other day and tonight was that date. Maybe I should have talked to you first about it but now you know. I care deeply for your daughter, despite...you know...all that junk that went down before. C'est la vie, whatever, stuff happens, right?"

"Stuff....happens. Yes, that's certainly true enough, I suppose," Alexis said slowly in an annoyed tone. Then she looked at Kristina "Can I speak to you inside? Good night, Mr. Lovett."

"Good night, ma'am...I mean....Ms."

Alexis went inside. Kristina looked at Ethan "I don't think you helped your case any. There's a very delicate way you gotta deal with my Mom and that wasn't it."

He shrugged. "Just being honest. Its not my first instinct but I figured what could it hurt, huh? She seemed like the type who likes someone to give her the straight shit."

"Only when it is what she wants to hear and that wasn't." Kristina looked inside. "I better go."

"Night, darlin. I'll call you, all right?"

She nodded. He kissed her cheek and went to leave. She called after him in a soft voice "Hey."

He turned back around.

Kristina asked "Did you really plan to ask me out before I even came home or was that just something to try and win over my Mom? Cause its okay if it was. I wasn't like....obsessing...about you or nothing when I was at school."

He grinned. "I wouldn't call it obsessing but, lets just say, you stayed on my mind." Ethan winked at her and left.

Kristina walked inside. Alexis was drinking a glass of wine. She raised an eyebrow and asked "Really?"

"What's the big deal? If he can get over all I put him through then I think that proves he's a good man who is good enough for me."

"He's a man, Kristina. That's the point. A grown man."

"I'm not in over my head."

"That's what everyone in over their head says."

"You can't stop me from seeing him!"

"I know that but I can warn you that this is not child's play. I think you should know that by now considering all you've been through in the last two years. So take what you know and use it. Don't get swept up in something and let it carry you away. Be a smart young lady this time. Keep your eyes open and your head clear- which is near impossible when you are in love or infatuated or whatever you kids call it these days. So I don't even know why I'm saying anything at all." Alexis downed her glass of wine. "Remember you can talk to me about anything and, most of all remember, nothing is getting between you and Yale. It will be over my dead body that you do anything but attend that university this fall, is that understood?"

"Yeah, Mom, I got it. Keep my eyes on Yale and don't believe in love. Got it."

"I didn't say-"

"I heard you loud and clear," Kristina said and then went to her room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time Ethan got to the Haunted Star, his father had received a call from Alexis. "Dodge, take a seat. We gotta chat about tempting Lolita types that can be the death of otherwise smart men."

Ethan grabbed a chair, turned it around, and took a seat. "Look," he drawled out "I know I should stay away from her but....its not gonna happen. So sue me! I liked her back when she was way too young for me to even look twice at until I got pissed at her for wanting what I couldn't give her. Then all that crap went down. I thought I could never make it right between us again....But now she's back in town and older and.....I'm not letting her slip through my fingers another time. Especially when I don't gotta cause she's old enough to call her own shots now."

"And still Sonny's daughter and therefore she's just about as dangerous of a woman as you're gonna come across in this town. One false move and you're on a hit list again."

"Think of it this way. She was gonna date somebody, right? You know that. Hell, her Dad knows that. So this way you both know that the guy is a good guy." He grinned at his father and spread his arms. "And I'm gonna take good care of my baby."

"Oh, Dodge, you're cruising for a bruising this time."

He got up and went to the gambling table. Picking up the dice he shook them in his hand. "Well I'll roll the dice cause, when it comes to Kristina, I ain't about to walk away. Besides, what fun is life if you always play it safe? Life is not worth living if you live it that way and you know it." Ethan shot the dice across the table.

XXXXXXXXXX

"So what made you decide to move?" Kristina asked when Ethan showed her his new place. "You didn't have to pay rent on The Haunted Star, right?"

"This is just a summer rental," he said about the cottage in the woods.

He had gotten his work schedule to be from 5pm to 2 am. That meant he could sleep from 4 am till noon, get up, shower and then spend a few hours with Kristina each afternoon. Since she was still too young to be at the casino and since she couldn't have Ethan at her house- not for what he had in mind at least- he had to find a place just for them.

Besides his stateroom on the boat was scuzzy. She deserved a hell of a lot better.

Hearing him say it was a summer rental her eyes lit up. "So is this...like...our place then?"

"Now you're catching on, luv."

She walked across the room and into his arms. They hugged. She titled her head up and Ethan dropped a sweet kiss on her lips. She raised her hand to hold his face and their kisses changed into desperate ones filled with pent up heat that they had tried to forget raged between them.

But there was no forgetting something this right. He didn't think he'd ever forget this summer spent with her. It would always be a part of him in some way.

He felt honored to be with her. Deep down he liked her most for the way she looked at him when they first meant- with trust, adoration and hunger in her eyes. A mix of little girl and grown woman that made Kristina Corinthos Davis completely irresistible to him.

Would she forever stay that way? Ethan Lovett couldn't say. All he knew was right now she was all he wanted most in the world.

The temptation he refused to fight for one second longer.


	200. You Can Take My Time, Ethan and Kristina

**You Can Take My Time**

**Ethan and Kristina**

**May 2010**

_(And when it rains_

_on this side of town_

_it touches_

_everything._

_Just say it again and mean it._

_You don't miss a thing._

_You made yourself a bed_

_at the bottom _

_of the blackest hole_

_and convinced yourself its not _

_the reason_

_you don't see the sun anymore._

_And, oh, how could you do it?_

_Oh, and I never saw it coming_!) (Paramour, When It Rains)

He knew better than to be knocking at her door. Hopefully that adorable moppet sister of hers would answer and not her overprotective mama bear of a mother or, for fuck's sake, her roundhouse kicking older sister.

Ethan Lovett must be a glutton for punishment. What else could explain the pull he felt to her? That or else he was some kind of pervert.

He rather believe he had a hero complex. It painted him as a much more romantic and dashing figure, something right out of the movies, and his dramatic side liked that idea. But, when all was said and done, he wasn't sure why he kept coming around her and it didn't really matter what his reasons were.

He knew better than to ever seek her out again. He was gonna seek her out again and again for who know how long. So that was that. He was cruising for another bruising but what could ya do? He gave into his impulses too often when it came to her. He needed to work on that but he doubted he would. He wasn't the type to improve himself. More like the type to make the best out of whatever God tossed his way (like his undeniable charms and his roguish good looks) or that fate tossed into his path: like her.

Kristina Corinthos Davis was a messed up teenager in many ways. She was dark, moody, hyper sensitive, overly naive and jaded at the same time and mistrusting of the world. Her life was a mess and she made it worse by making bad mistakes every other day of the week.

All true. All reasons to stay far away from her. But tonight, he was sure, there would be tears in her big brown eyes and that meant he couldn't stay away. He just wasn't that strong. Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe he really had a heroic bone buried deep in his con artist body. Maybe she brought out the best in him.

He would never let her bring out the worst again. She had taught him a big lesson about what it takes to be a man. That meant never getting so drunk and pissed off that he grabbed her arm again. There was no way to make up for what he did that night. He wasn't here to try.

He was only here to dry her tears.

Knock. Knock. Ethan rapped on the door of the lake house. He got lucky because Kristina came to answer it instead of any of her family members. He could see that, just as he expected, her eyes were red.

_(And when it rains_

_you always find an escape._

_Just running away from all the ones who love you, from everything._

_You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole_

_and you'll sleep to May_

_and you'll say you don't wanna see the sun anymore.)_

She pulled open the door. Her eyes lightened with surprise. "Ethan, huh, why would you come see me?"

"I heard your brother hit some hard times."

"Yeah, five years in prison!" And then fresh tears welled in her eyes.

"Oh, baby, come here," he murmured and pulled her close. Her small, lithe body pressed to his and, in that moment, he knew whatever he felt for her wasn't some perverted thing just about sex and it wasn't just him being a hero to a messed up girl.

What was it? Hell if he knew. But it was something and it was real. God had quite the sense of humor to make Ethan fall for this particular woman who was off limits, too young, messed up in every way, and who he already had a messy history with after less than a year of knowing her.

It was crazy. And it wasn't ending any time soon.

(_Take your time._

_Take my time._

_Take these chances to turn it around._

_Take these chances and will make it somehow._

_Take this chances to turn it around._

_Just turn it around._

_Oh, how could you do it?_

_Oh, I never saw it coming!_

_Oh, how could you do it?_

_Oh, I never saw it coming_!)

After a while of holding her he took her hand, led her to the couch, and sat her down. Then he went and found some paper towel, out of the kitchen, to dry her face off. Sitting next to her, his arm on the back of the sofa and one foot resting on his other knee, he gave her a big smile.

Ethan told Kristina "So what are we gonna do to make sure you don't cry anymore tonight?"

"You could give me some more lessons in poker."

He chuckled. "You wanna become a shark, don't ya?"

"A shark?"

"Someone who can take patsies for their life savings."

"Oh." She smiled a little. "No. I just want to get good enough to beat you just once."

"Well, for that, you will need lots of lessons. And I'll need to stop cheating."

She laughed. Just then Voila came walking in with Morgan and Molly. After a moment of grilling by the nanny Ethan convinced her to join them in a game of charades. That's how Alexis Davis and Mac Scorpio found them all a half hour later- laughing, joking and pantomiming the clues on the little slips of papers they had written up.

Standing on the deck Mac asked Alexis "You want me to throw him out?"

Alexis said "This is the first time she's smiled in weeks. I think we can let him stay a little longer."

"I'm keeping my eye on that kid."

"Keep both eyes on him, please."

Mac smiled and looped his arm around her waist. "Done. You know I got experience in this sort of thing."

"Thank God someone around here does. It appears we're gonna need it."

Inside Ethan happened to look up and see Alexis and Mac there. He stiffened. He knew Kristina's mom would hate the idea of him being around since him and Kristina had such a rocky past, he was too old for her, and she was in a fragile place in her life right now.

But he couldn't say he wasn't glad he came over to the lake house tonight. Even if he later got reamed out by Alexis or kicked in the face again by Sam. Because he got what he came there to get: Kristina was smiling again.

And that is all that really mattered.

THE END


	201. Dream a Little Dream, DanteBrookJohn

**Note-** This was written for a 1000 word prompt at UC GH. The lyrics at the end are not part of the word count. I really am a Johnny/Brook fan first but I also adore the idea of Brook and Dante. And I don't have mind Dante and Lulu, they are one of her best pairings to date. Pretty cute.

**Dream A Little Dream For Me**

**Dante/Brook/Johnny**

"I did it. I can't believe it but I did it."

These are the words Brook Lynn Ashton heard on a few days after Christmas at exactly nine am as she held her cell to her ear. She was still half asleep, laying on warm silk sheets, with a naked man next to her.

"Did what?"

"I broke up with her. I hated to do it but I can't live a lie. I felt like crap telling her but once the words were out...it was such a weight off my shoulders! Damn, I feel great right about now. I did it. For us, Brook. Tell me this is great news for you. And how damn awesome you think I am right about now...Look, I know my head was not on straight for a long time and you probably gave up on me and I don't blame you but...I know what I want now. Who I want. Its gonna be better now. Wow, I can't stop talking right now. I'm flying high over here. Come over! I wanna see you. Or I'll come to you."

"No! I mean...don't. I'm not dressed."

"Oh, bonus!"

"Dante, don't come over. I can't see you right now. I need time to think." Brook jumped out of bed and scurried around looking for her robe.

Her lover groaned, at the loss of warmth next to him, and his eyes opened. "Well, good morning," he said in a flirty tone as she shot him daggers and held her fingers up to her lips to gesture for him to be quiet before she darted from the room.

"I'm in the hall already. I'm putting my key in your door. I just need to see you. I don't care if you have bed head or you're wearing that ratty sacrilegious Mets Jersey. I just gotta see you." He chuckled. "I'm...crazy about you. I know I should have stopped myself from falling for you but that's the thing. I couldn't stop myself."

By now he was inside and she was standing near the end of the hallway that lead from her bedroom to her living room. Her heart beat fast and she felt trapped. She had to get him out of her.

Forcing a smile, as she ran her fingers though her hair, she asked "So you really did it, huh? Wow. I never thought you would. You said you never would."

He grinned widely. "I know what I said. I was lying to myself. I mean...I meant it then but...the holidays happened and I was surrounded by my family and hers and I was thinking about you back in Bensonhurst and I thought, you know what, stop fooling yourself and stop lying to everyone you love...You wanna be back in the old neighborhood with her...You. I wanted to be with you." Then he did this adorable gesture where he touched his heart and held his hand out to her. "And next Christmas now I can be. Or Easter! We'll go home for Easter. Come over here. Why are you still so far away?"

She wished there was a way to turn back time and not do half the stupid shit she did. But she can't. And when she was doing it she had loved the game and loved the drama. She had got lost in her own crazy plan and it became a monster that ate her life up. Looking at him now she feels soulless and dirtier than she ever has before.

But last night she felt oh so good in another man's arms.

Brook didn't spend one night crying up to this point. But after today she would. Unless she could get Dante out of here and make it so he never learned the truth.

"I told ya. I need time to think. Could you go, please? And leave the key."

"Uh...um...okay. I'll go. But I'll be right across the hall, you know, when you're ready to-" and then he froze and his gaze locked over her shoulder.

She didn't have to turn to know what, or rather who, he was staring out.

Brook bit her bottom lip to try to hold the tears back.

Two minutes before they had a great, big, bright, out of this world future together and now they had some old dreams, stupid fantasies, stolen kisses, and regrets between them.

Johnny said "Hey, man, I was just going to get some coffee. You want any?"

Brook shook her head at that. Johnny had been sick of being second for a while now. He kept her secret but now he saw his chance to shove it in Dante's face and he took it. That ruined another thing she thought she had in her life: Johnny always having her back no matter how screwed up her lame plans got.

Johnny headed for the kitchen with a smirk on his face.

Dante shook his head in disbelief and said "Wow, okay, wow. Guess you got sick of waiting around, huh?"

"Guess I did."

Dante walked out and Brook stood there feeling completely numb inside. Even if she deserved to never have Dante's love there was a part of her- that little girl part- that thought if she was with him she'd be different, better, cleaner, happier, hopeful.

But that had been a big pipe dream. And everyone knows pipe dreams never come true.

XXXXXXXXX

Years later she stands on the stage at the nurse's ball. Her eyes search the crowd of faces and land on his. He's there with his wife. They have three kids and are happier than Brook could ever hope to be.

She don't do happy. She does destruction and now everyone knows it. But as she sings she becomes someone else. That girl playing in the water spraying from a broken fire hydrant back in Bensonhurst.

The one who was gonna grow up to be Dante's girl forever.

_(Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you"._  
_Birds singing in the sycamore tree, "Dream a little dream of me"._  
_Say "Nighty-night" and kiss me._

* * *

_Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me._  
_While I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me._

* * *

_Stars fading, but I linger on, dear._  
_Still craving your kiss, I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear._  
_Just saying this: Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you._  
_Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you._  
_But in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me._

* * *

_Stars fading, but I linger on, dear._  
_Still craving your kiss, I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear._  
_Just saying this: Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you._  
_Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you._  
_But in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me.)_

_**THE END**_


	202. What That Feeling Is, Ethina

**This is written expressly for the site Your Crying Shoulder. If you love this pairing then check it out.**

**What That Feeling Is**

**Ethan and Kristina**

**April 2011**

"Taylor wants to have sex."

Ethan tensed up. He was laying on his back in the grass at Rice Manor, a beautiful estate that was very whimsical and romantic. Kristina liked to go jogging here and so he had started joining her on Saturday mornings.

"Oh, yeah, luv? Is that what you want?"

"I haven't been with anyone since Keifer but I've been dating Taylor since Christmas. I can't put it off forever. He'll dump me if I don't act like a real girlfriend, and not a little kid."

Propping himself up on one elbow he looked at her. "Is he pressuring-?"

"No, he's really a great guy. A great boyfriend. I like him."

"But you don't wanna be with him in that way?"

She let out a sigh as she stared up at the blue sky above them. "Do you think that makes me childish?"

"Not in the least. You gotta follow your heart, luv. Maybe that bloke just ain't the guy for you. Don't do anything that doesn't feel right."

She turned her head and stared into his eyes. He couldn't deny how much she meant to him. How if she was just a little bit older he would reach out right this moment, gently trace a path with one fingers down her cheek and under her chin, lean close and bring his lips to hers. Give her the kiss he thought about way too often.

But she wasn't older and they were just friends.

_(What I'd give to bring you flowers._

_What I'd give to get you alone._

_What I'd give to bring a smile across your face._

_What I'd give to take you home_.) (What I'd Give by Sugarland)

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

**May 2011**

If she thought she was jealous of Ethan's girlfriends before nothing compared to the weekend when Rebecca came back to town for a visit. Kristina walked into Kelly's and saw them at a table together, holding hands, and laughing in a sexy way that made her think they had spent the night together. There was something so intimate in the way they looked at each other. So intense and sensual.

Kristina's heart painfully twisted in her chest as she stared at them for a long moment before she turned and walked back out without Ethan ever seeing her there.

She knew that her and him were just friends. She didn't think it had to be that way but he did. He swore their lives were in different places. He was already slightly past the age of a college guy- not that he had ever went to college- and she was just about to graduate high school. It was a world of difference between the two.

And still he was the man who she felt like herself the most when she was around him. She smiled the most when he was smiling back at her. She loved every stolen moment they had found to spend together in the last year and half since they met.

The only thing she hated about her friendship with Ethan was that it stopped at just friendship. She didn't know what it felt like to kiss him. Didn't know what it was to make love with him. Didn't know how it felt to even walk around holding his hand. To hear him whisper "I love you, darlin."

Did Rebecca know all that? Did Maya hear the three little words that Kristina wanted to have Ethan say to hear? Who else in the world had felt his touch on their bare skin and his lips on their lips, on their neck, on their overheated body? Who else was his darlin?

Why couldn't she stop wishing for something he was never gonna let happen between them?

_(What I'd give to make you coffee._

_Found out how you like your eggs._

_Wrapped around you in the morning._

_A tangle lace of arms and legs._

* * *

_What I'd give to let you love me._

_Find out everything that brings you joy._

_Wake up to your face above me._

_I'd be the girl _

_and you could be that boy._

_Find out what that feeling is._

* * *

_Oh, what I'd give._

_What I'd give.)_

XXXXXXXXXX

**June 2011**

"Congratulations," Ethan said to Kristina at her graduation.

She gave him a hug and he let it go on just a little longer than he knew he should. All it did was remind him how very much he didn't want to leave her in the friend zone.

"Thank you for coming today. I'm sure you had better things to do."

"Better than seeing you dressed like that?" he teased, about her cap and gown, and then flashed her a crooked grin.

"Very stylish, right?" Kristina laughed happily. "God, its good to be done with high school."

"Onto bigger and better things, eh?"

"That's the plan. My mother's plan, at least. All I care about right now is enjoying this summer. I can't believe I'm leaving in less than three months for Yale."

"Yeah," he said. He couldn't believe it either. Didn't want to believe it. But it was for the best. She would only tempt the hell out of him if she stuck around here.

The best thing for her was to go off, spread her wings, and learn to fly all on her own. Ethan wanted that for Kristina. More than he wanted to be selfish and pull her into the steamy summer fling he wanted them to have. He had to remember she was just too young for all that. He had to protect her.

It got harder and harder to ignore how much he thought about her, about them, about how good it felt to be near here. It got harder everyday but for her sake he had to forget what he wanted and remember what she needed.

(_What I'd give to take you dancing._

_What I'd give to make you mine._

_If you got questions,_

_I got answers_

_and my answers yes to you every time_.)

XXXXXXXXXXX

**July 2011**

"Please don't cry, luv," he begged as he sat in the interrogation room at the PCPD.

Kristina couldn't help it though. She was scared that what her Mom had said was true. Ethan could be convicted of dealing in stolen merchandise and go to prison for up to seven years.

"I'm sorry." She swiped at her tears. "Tell me what I can do to help."

"Its being taken care of, okay? Johnny got me a lawyer and this will all be cleared up soon. Promise, okay?"

"How soon? In the next month? Because I can't leave for Yale with you locked up like an animal. I won't and no one can make me!"

He let out a weary sigh. "Hey now, the last thing I want is to be the reason you stick around this town. I want you to go to school and start a new life there. This is my problem and I'll deal with it. I don't want you to worry about me ending up going up the river. I've been in tighter spots before and I always slither my way out one way or another." He gave her a weak grin.

She reached out and clutched his hand. "Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help you?"

"Not a thing, luv, except to leave this police station and go enjoy the rest of your day. That would do me some good."

"I can't with you in here," she said, her voice quivering with emotion.

"Oh, luv, I'm sorry that I screwed up like this but don't let it bring you down too."

"Whatever hurts you hurts me. You're my best friend."

Ethan's bent down and lay his cheek against their hands, that rested on the table. A long moment passed before he sat back up and tried to joke, even if it came off in a sad tone, "You have lousy taste then, darlin."

She sniffled. "Make me a deal. When you get out of here we'll go on a date."

"A date? Thought we've been over this a million times."

"And I still don't agree with you and I still want a date and you owe me now, for this stress."

"By the time I get out of here you could very well be a college girl."

"So come to Yale and take me on a date. Ethan, say you will and I'll go home right now and try not to climb the walls over this. If you say no then not only will you be denying yourself something that could be totally amazing but you'll be stressing me out even more."

In an indulgent tone he told her, since they were always honest with each other, "You know you don't gotta emotional blackmail me to get what you want. I'll always give you anything I can give you."

"Sorry. I don't mean to do that. I just wanted something to look forward to and hang onto right now when everything feels like its falling down around my head. I guess I should just go. I'm only making things worse on you. Bringing up my stupid crush that just won't die. Yeah, that helps you a whole hell of a lot right now." She stood up and walked to the door.

"Hey," he called out, his tone soft and tender.

Kristina looked back at Ethan.

He said "When I get out of here I'll take you on a date every night for a week. Is that enough to look forward to?"

Her heart soared and a huge smile crossed her lips. She nodded at him and he smiled back. Even on a day when they were both miserable and sad being together made it easier to bear, and gave them both hope in their dark hearts again.

(_What I'd give for just one minute._

_What I'd give to count the ways._

_If your heart was dark with nothing in it_

_I'd give you mine_

_and take your place_.)

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kristina bounded off her couch and raced across the room, at the Lake house, when she saw Ethan standing on the deck. Flinging open the door she cried "You're out!"

He had only been in jail four days but for her it was horrible because she feared he would be stuck there for years.

She threw her arms around him. He stroked her hair as he held her head against his chest. When they broke apart they sat on the wooden bench that was nearby.

"So is it over?"

"Uncle Sam ain't done with me yet," Ethan said "I made bail but I'm working on a plea agreement for probation. I gotta be a model citizen if I go through with that though and you know that won't be too easy for me to pull off. I've never even tried walking the straight and narrow before but I guess I'm up for trying something new if it means I don't gotta get a wife name Bubba."

She smiled softly at him. "I have big news too. You'll probably try to talk me out of this like Sam and my parents did but its what I want...I'm delaying admission at Yale for a year. I'm gonna intern with ELQ."

"Baby, why? I thought you were excited to get out of here? Don't tell me this is because of what we talked about-"

"Dating? Its not."

He gave her a raised eyebrow look.

Kristina said "Seriously, I swear its not. I'm just not ready to go away for four years yet. I'm finally starting to get close to my Dad and if I leave I just know that will all fall apart. Sam's baby will be born in few months and I wanna be hear for that too." Sam had found a surrogate. She was no longer dating Jason. "I just want to be with my family for a while longer. Maybe its childish but I don't feel ready yet to go off to college."

Ethan looked deep in contemplation. "If your gut tells you to stay then you should but don't stay out of fear of the unknown because I know you could handle being there on your own. You're a strong woman, Kristina. I've seen that with my own two eyes and I believe it with all my heart."

"You do? I never feel strong."

"You're stronger than you believe. And when you finally start believing in yourself this world better watch out cause you'll be a force to be reckoned with."

She smiled sweetly at him.

He sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry but I need to take off. I gotta go handle some business."

Kristina stood up. "So...since I'm staying...does that change your mind about us going on a date? Since you figured before I'd be gone within a few weeks afterwards and now I'm not gonna be...Its okay if you changed your mind. I hate it but I get it. I can't make you want me. And its really embarrassing when I try so I'm not gonna do that again."

He gave her a big crooked grin. His voice turned husky. "Well that's a shame. I sort of liked it when you use to tell how awesome I am and how much you want me."

She rolled her eyes, smiling back at him. "Yeah, well, maybe I just like you cause you're all off limits. Maybe if we went on a date you'd lose all your appeal to me."

"You think so?" he teased before reaching out and taking hold of hip. "That's gonna be like an arrow through my heart if it happens so lets cross all our fingers and toes your theory don't hold water."

Her eyes lit up. "So you still wanna go on a date?"

"A month of dates, is what I think we said, right?"

"A week."

"A week would only be a tease. And I'm no tease."

She just smiled back at him.

He said "I really gotta take off but I'll call you soon as I get done with my business."

"I'll walk you to your car." They headed down the drive and when they got to his car he threaded his fingers in her hair, bent over and brushed his lips against hers. That light, sweet, baby soft kiss exploded into one filled with hunger- too long denied to do anything but explode the second it was unleashed.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, as her mouth opened for him, and he picked her off her feet and pushed her against the car. That kiss showed Kristina just how good of a desicion it was to stay in Port Charles one more year.

She had to stay long enough to spend a hundred nights in Ethan's bed hearing "I love you, darlin."

_(What I'd give to let you love me._

_Find out everything that brings you joy._

_Wake up to your face above me._

_I'd be the girl_

_and you can be that boy._

* * *

_Find out what that feeling is._

_Oh what I'd give._

_Oh what I'd give.)_

**THE END**


	203. Deceived, Ethina, part one

**Deceived**

**Ethan and Kristina**

**Part One**

**Revised History**

**July 2010**

He had to be living a nightmare. That was the only explanation for what he was seeing right now.

"What the-?" Ethan stopped short right inside of Johnny's door. There sitting on his best friend's couch was Kristina Corinthos Davis, her bare legs tucked underneath her, wearing only one of Johnny's shirts.

Tearing his eyes off her, as she gave him a steady look that had not one ounce of shame in it, Ethan looked over at Johnny, who was standing by the window, drink in hand, shaking his head in a way that said he knew trouble was coming and why the hell did he ever get himself involved in this situation.

Trying to play it cool, Ethan threw up his hands and said "Whoa, looks like I'm interrupting. I'll just get out of here...?"

He asked it like a question as he forced himself to look at Kristina, even though he hated looking at her dressed that way and thinking that not long before Johnny had his hands all over every inch of her beautiful body. He made himself look at her though. Just in case she wanted him to get her out of there. It wasn't like she was cozied up with Johnny. He was across the room from her, wearing slacks and a white sleeveless t-shirt.

Johnny spoke up. "You don't gotta leave, man."

Kristina said "We need our privacy." She shot Johnny a look filled with secrets.

Filled with confusing feelings and an unmistakable jealousy mixed with grief, Ethan grimaced and chuckled. "Well don't let me intrude. I'll just come back later, mate, when you're alone."

He slipped out the door, using all his willpower to not slam it or hit his hand against the wall in the hallway. Standing there he stared at the closed door, straining to hear what they were saying but he couldn't make it out.

Stomach knotted, skin hot, mouth bone dry Ethan Lovett headed for the elevator and then to the Haunted Star to get drunk. He had a date later that day with Maya, who had finally decided to give him the time of day, but he wasn't in any mood to see her. His feelings for Kristina had just smacked him dead center in the face.

He wanted her in his bed.

It didn't matter that she was five years younger. He wanted to be the man who got to run his hands over her bare body. The man who kept her safe. The man who protected her. What could Johnny be thinking by starting up a relationship with Kristina? Johnny was even older than Ethan. Besides he knew that Ethan had a real soft spot for Kristina.

And she used to have one for him right back. Till he screwed it all up by dating some big breasted blonde that he wanted to use to forget his feelings for Kristina. Didn't work. Maya had been intriguing him somewhat, like Rebecca used to, but now even Maya wasn't gonna dull this ache.

Nothing could change the fact that he wanted to throw up just thinking Johnny had sex with Kristina. He felt like dragging her out of that apartment but she hadn't looked unhappy in the least. She didn't need saving.

She didn't need him anymore. She had Johnny now. And Ethan had his nobility and the belief that it was the right thing for Kristina that they hadn't started dating. He had that to hold onto but now it suddenly felt like a horrible joke.

And the laugh was all on him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Do you think that was smart?" Johnny asked Kristina

"If we start telling people that we're only pretending to be together then its gonna get around. It defeats the purpose if we just go and tell everyone we're lying."

"Ethan isn't just anyone."

"He'll tell his Dad that we're together and his Dad will run and tell mine. It will confirm what my Dad thinks is just a lie right now."

"Well great! You got it all figured out, don't ya? Can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure anything. You and me are in this together so whatever you want to know I'll tell you."

"That guy who just walked out of here looking like he got kicked in the teeth...what do you feel for him? Anything anymore? Do you hate his guts now? I never signed up to lie to and hurt a guy that is the closest thing I have to a best friend."

"Why would this hurt Ethan? He's told me a thousand times he doesn't want to date me. I'm too young for him. I really did like him...I still do...but he doesn't want to be with me so why would he care what we're doing? He's got a girlfriend anyway, right? He told me he's into Michael's cousin, Maya. Ethan only wants a friendship with me so what me and you are doing isn't gonna bother him a bit. He didn't get mad just now so that proves it."

"You have a lot to learn, kid."

Just then her cell chirped. She picked it up off the coffee table, read the text and smiled "Molly came through. She accidently on purpose told Sam that I'm over here after Mom ordered me to stay away from you. Sam's on her way. Now she'll catch me here half dressed. She'll freak and tell my parents and soon everyone will believe we're really having sex."

"And then Sonny's gonna put a hit on me."

"He won't. He can't do anything bad or Michael will end up back in prison. My Dad is stuck between a rock and a hard place and I know its gonna drive him out of his mind to be so helpless to stop us."

Johnny smirked. "From your mouth to God's ears."

Kristina smiled back at him.

He walked over to her and sat down on the couch. "About Ethan, whatever goes on with you two is your business. I'm not trying to get up in the middle of that. Whether you two are together or not its not for me to judge but don't be so quick to think that he's cool with the idea of you and me sleeping together. Up until today he's been walking around thinking you got feelings for him. It had to sting to see you here. He's a man and his pride has got to be wounded right about now. Just remember that if you care about him you'll be straight with him. And, hey, you just might save me from getting my ass kicked when the shock wears off him and he comes back here looking to put me through a wall for touching his girl."

"I wish I was his girl but believe me I'm not. He doesn't care who I sleep with so its not gonna be a problem."

"If you say so but I'm warning you that if he goes to punch me I'm gonna sing like a canary about how this is all a scam. Not that I can't take a punch but that's my best friend. I don't wanna screw that up, okay?"

"Okay. I get it. But Ethan isn't gonna wanna fight you over this. He only sees me as a nice kid. That's it. Believe me, Johnny, I wouldn't be here with you right now if I could be there with him. He already told me way too many times though that we're just buddies and buddies don't care who the other person has sex with."

"So its cool with you if he goes straight from here and sleeps with Maya for the first time today?"

"They haven't slept together yet?"

"He's into her but hanging around her is more of just a distraction for him. A distraction from who he can't get out of his head."

Kristina gave him a disbelieving look.


	204. Deceived, Ethina, part two

**Deceived**

**Ethan and Kristina**

**Part Two**

**Revised History**

**July 2010**

She knew she shouldn't be on the Haunted Star. She had been told already that she was too young to be at the casino. But Kristina had to find out if Johnny was right and Ethan had feelings for her.

The need to know was overwhelming. She knew she'd only think about him for every second till he looked in her eyes and confirmed that Johnny was dead wrong. Then she'd be able think straight again and not get her hopes up for a romance that was never happening.

Kristina snuck down the hallways till she found the staterooms. She knew Ethan was the only person who lived on this ship. She opened doors until she found a stateroom that looked lived in. Trying her best to not nose through his things she sat down in a bolted down chair and waited for him to get done with work.

Using her phone's internet feature to entertain herself she waited more than an hour before Ethan came stumbling into the room, obviously drunk. She jumped out of her seat. "Oh! Hey!"

"Luv...what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here!"

"OH! I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have broke into your room but I just...Johnny said..."

His eyes darkened angrily at the other man's name. Ethan sat on the bed, holding his head in his hands. "What did that bloke say? What did he tell you to get you into his bed? What could you be thinking? Sweetheart...you're in over your head. You know that, right?"

"Why? Because I'm so young? I can handle it!"

Shaking his head wearily he turned his large, dark, doleful eyes on her. "Did he say he loves you? You believe that? You know I knew Zacchara is cutthroat but I never pegged him for being this much of a bastard."

"I know you think I'm too young to be with a man but I feel what I feel and I can't fight it."

Rubbing his palms into his forehead he let out a loud grown and flopped back on the bed. "Well then, darlin, I guess that's all there is to say about that," he said, in a miserable tone.

"Even though you think its wrong for me to date Johnny you're gonna be on our side, right? I thought I lost your friendship after I lied about you attacking me and I don't want to lose it again just because you think I'm making a mistake by sleeping with the wrong guy."

Ethan sat back up. "I'll always be on your side."

"Good because your friendship is the most important I've had in all my life. No one understands me like you do and forgives me like you do."

"Yeah, I'm so forgiving," he muttered. "I'm a real prince."

"Maya is lucky that you're into her."

"Yeah, she's so lucky," he muttered. "Not to sound rude but could you leave now? Its not a good idea for you to be here."

She walked over and stood between his legs. "Why not?"

He looked up at her. "I've had a lot to drink and I think its just safer for both of us if you go. Don't fight me on this."

"Are you saying you can't control yourself around me when you're drunk?"

"Lets not find out. Go, Kristina. Just go. Talk to you later, okay? Go find Zacchara if you're bored. I need some rest."

Placing her hands on his shoulders she straddled his lap, so her knees where on either side of him on the bed. "I'm right where I wanna be. Is this where you want me to be?"

"Are you trying to be the death of me, luv?" he said, groaning out the words in a desperate and lusty way. "Come on. Off. Go. You and Zacchara got something going on-"

"I only want you," she whispered before bringing her mouth to his in a shy kiss.

A second later Ethan brought his hands up to cup her ass pulled her more firmly against him, so she could feel how hard he was, and then plunged his tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss and hearing her moan against his mouth when he did so.

For the first time in her life she knew what a real kiss felt like.

Ethan flipped her on her back and then looked down at her. His eyes were filled with hot, hungry desire. "Darlin..."

"Johnny was right."

Ethan rolled away from Kristina. Laying on his back he said "First rule, don't say another bloke's name when you're in bed with me."

She smiled brightly and propped herself up on one elbow. Reaching out she ran her hand all along his chest. He caught her hand and held it.

Kristina said "I lied to you earlier today about me and Johnny being together. I feel horrible about it now! I hope you'll believe me but if you don't I understand. I really screwed up."

"Start at the beginning."

She told him about her plan to drive her father crazy and why she was just wearing Johnny's shirt today. "He wanted to tell you the truth. I thought it was better to keep it secret. I didn't think you'd care...do you want Maya or do you want me?"

He moved closer to her. Stroking her face with gentle caresses he said "I want you so much I can barely think straight but I know I should stay away."

"I need you," she whispered "I've had feelings for you for almost a year now. Stop fighting it. Give us a chance." Her hand ran up and down his chest.

Pushing her onto her back, he pinned one of her hands above her head, intertwined their fingers and brought his mouth down on hers. For hours they kissed and caressed each other. Ethan knew it was way too soon to take it any further with her but he also knew that from now on he was gonna take what he could get when it came to being with Kristina Corinthos Davis.

He needed her just as much as she always swore she had needed and wanted and liked him. He came close to losing her but in her heart she had never been gone at all. And now she was his to care for everyday in every way.

He'd take good care of his precious girl. She was no angel but she was certainly this man's salvation.

THE END


	205. Whole Life Through, Luckily, part one

********

******Whole Life Through**

Part One

****

August 2008

"My brother cheated on you?" Lucky asked Emily, as anger jumped into his eyes after she made her teary confession. "How the hell can he be such a selfish bastard? I can't believe Nikolas pulled this on you again!"

"Lucky-" she said, in a halting tone.

"Don't tell me its not his fault just because he had a brain tumor. He's been healthy for months already. That excuse don't wash now."

"He grew very close to Nadine during his treatment. He came to rely on and lean on her more than he did me. I hate it but I understand it. He needed a lifeline during his illness and she became that for him."

"So are you saying that you think his feelings for her aren't real?"

She turned away. "I don't know. Maybe not. But all I know is I can't watch him loving her. Not yet, at least. I'm just not that strong. I'm...going to Europe for a while. Jason spoke to Brenda and she's going to put me up. Not that I couldn't afford to stay in a hotel but it will be nice to not be alone. She'll show me Rome and I'll take trips by train into Paris, London, Milan and Athens." Her voice quivered as she added "It will be the trip of a lifetime."

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry this happened."

She looked up and into his eyes. "Me too." Leaning her head back on him, she let her eyes drift close and found comfort in his safe, strong arms. After a long moment she spoke again, her voice breaking, and tears starting to stream down her face. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh...Em."

She moved away from him, wiping her eyes. "I'll tell Nikolas when I come back in a few months. I just need a few months to regroup. Promise me you'll keep my secret?"

"Yeah, of course, always." He walked close to her and took her into a hug again. Though there was nothing he could do to make the pain less he could hold her for as long as she needed till the tears stopped falling.

Just like he always had done for his best friend.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

January 2015

Walking in front of him out of the dining room Emily smiled slightly, in a nervous way, and said "Thank you for coming over for dinner."

She sat on the couch, with one leg tucked under her, and turned to face him as he sat next to her.

"Sure. I'm sorry, again, that I didn't get to see you much during the holidays-"

"Forget about it. It was a hectic time for me too."

"You were welcome to come over for Christmas, you know. The boys would have loved to see you. Liz said she invited you but you had plans already."

Even though Lucky had been divorced from Liz for years now he still shared holidays with her and his sons. Though neither were his biologically he couldn't love them more if they were. It was one of the things Emily admired about him. He was such a good father and so very attentive. Good men like Lucky Spencer are very hard to find. She should know. She has two ex-husbands and an ex-fiancee to prove that by.

Lucky went on " I feel like I haven't seen you in a couple of months and that's really weird for us. Liz says you've been kinda distracted at work too. And your mind has been somewhere else all night tonight. Is everything okay with you?"

Emily's eyes darted down. "Actually something has been weighing on my mind lately." Her eyes rose and met his. "I feel like my time is running out to have a baby."

He took that in for a moment then touched her arm. "It will happen for you. I know you probably thought that by now you'd be a mom but it will happen in its own time. I'm sorry if you're struggling with this right now." He gave her a small grin. "You'll meet the right guy and make him so happy when you two get together and start a family."

"I don't want to keep waiting for some man to come along and make all my dreams come true. I can't stop aching for a child, Lucky. I know that realistically I could still get pregnant for the next decade but inside it just feels like I want a baby now. I want a child so much that its consuming all my thoughts. I'm through with waiting for that guy who makes it all click in place." After a pause she added "I'm going to do this on my own using a fertility clinic. I've already been to a few appointments. I'm going for this and I just hope you will support me."

Years before Emily had miscarried her child with Nikolas when she was in the fifth month of pregnancy. It was extremely traumatic for her and made worse because she had a baby bump already and just a few days before she had felt her child kick.

Even though the pregnancy was stressful because she had no longer been dating Nikolas she had wanted her child. She had just come back to Port Charles and revealed her pregnancy to her friends and family when the miscarriage struck. It turned out her baby had a chromosomal anomaly and there was nothing any doctor could have done to save the pregnancy.

Lucky said "Of course I got your back. Are you sure about this though?"

"I was struggling for months with wanting this. Ever since Lulu had Caylee. I can barely look at Caylee, let alone hold her. It just hit me how jealous I was and how much I wanted to be the one having a baby. I thought the feeling would go away but its been almost six months and it hasn't. It just gets stronger everyday. I know I won't regret becoming a mom. Look at me, Lucky. I'm adopted. And my parents love me just as much as if I came from them. I'll love my baby just as much even if I didn't get married first and she's not a product of a big, romantic love. I've tried that too many times before and even though I'm not giving up on love I'm not waiting for it anymore either. Or counting on falling in love again to make my life what I want it to me. I can do that all on my own. I have an amazing career and now I can have a child too."

"It's a lot to do on your own."

"I know but I'm ready. I want this more than anything in the whole world."

Lucky gave her a hug. "Wow. You're going to be a mom. That's amazing, Em. I'm happy for you and I'm here for you, whatever you need."

She pulled out of the hug. "You don't have to say yes...and I understand completely if you have to turn me down...but I can't exactly create a child alone. I visited a sperm bank but it felt so cold and impersonal. I really want to find a friend to help me...I really hope you'll be that friend."


	206. part two WLT

************

Whole Life Through

Lucky and Emily

Part Two

January 2015

Lucky was momentarily stunned. "You want me...?" He swallowed hard and blinked rapidly. "You want me to...uh...?"

"I'm sorry for putting you on the spot. Just think about it, okay? Don't feel pressured. Its all right if you have to say no. Just know I don't expect anything from you. You could decide how much a part you want in...our child's life...from one hundred percent to just being a Godfather, and our child not knowing till he or she is grown up that you are their biological donor. Whatever you wanted, Lucky, would be okay with me. But if you can't do this I will not be upset with you. Take some time to think it over. Don't just say no right away without at least considering this."

"Em...you know I care so much about you and I will do anything for you but this...I don't know if I can."

She nodded a little. "I understand but just sleep on it, please?"

"I will. Its just...when two people have a baby together there are intense feelings that get involved. Of course with me and Liz I loved her and when I thought Jake was my biological child I just loved Liz all the more and felt like we had created a beautiful miracle from our love. But even way back when I thought Maxie was carrying my child and I didn't want a future with her I also knew we'd be forever bonded because of the baby. I felt angry at the situation but so protective of her since she was carrying my child." He ran his fingers through his hair. "It could get really complicated. "

His eyes searched hers.

She said "All I know is that you're the best man I ever met and I would love to have a child that has all your good qualities."

Over the years they had gotten close to dating each other several times. They shared a handful of awkward kisses. When they were young they were too nervous to try and be together. When they were in their early twenties she had been in love with his brother. When they were in their late twenties she had been filled with fear that he would go back to Liz, who was working overtime to get back his heart and came damn near succeeding. He had been torn between the time he was spending healing his heart with Emily and the family he had with Liz, who was stuck in a mental hospital because of all her destructive choices bearing down on her all at once and stress overtaking her system.

Emily loved both her best friends and so she had done the only thing she thought she could and got out of their way. It took more months for Liz and Lucky to realize that it was truly over. By then Emily was dating Matt Hunter, who she later got engaged to before he called off the wedding at the last minute citing that his gut was telling him it would be a mistake. They had dated from 2009 to 2013. She took him through so many changes and he saw her through so many of her fears about love and commitment but in the end they burned out quick and ugly. Now nearly two more years had gone by and Emily was finally feeling up to moving on with her life.

She understood why Lucky said it could be complicated emotionally if they shared a child. It would be a minefield of hopes, dreams, fears, neediness, and overwhelming love for the baby they had to navigate while staying friends. And he probably wanted to go through all that with his wife one day instead of his best friend. He had a rocky dating history too. After things with Liz ended he had gotten with Maxie another time for a few crazy months and then a year after their break up he fell into bed with Maya Ward. They spent a year and half together but she ended up moving away for a new job. Then last year he dated Claire Walsh, who know had a four year old son, for a few months before she decided to give her baby daddy another chance. Considering that Lucky has much respect for David Harper he stepped aside and let them work on their family again. Claire and Dave ended up renewing their vows in a ceremony on the beach with their son as best man and their dog as ring bearer. Emily had been there that day to see the happy couple re-commit to each other.

Through all this it wasn't as if Lucky and Emily longed for each other romantically. It was only at very emotional times in their lives that they ever leaned in and kissed each other but she had never really been brave enough to let her heart jump out of her chest and into his hands. He represented her safe place.

Maybe she was just afraid to love him like that. And now, since she wanted him to father her baby, Lucky was afraid he wouldn't be able to stop himself from loving her that way.

Emily knew that it was asking a lot to ask him for this. She knew he might want more than she could ever give him. But she couldn't deny how good it felt to imagine herself holding a baby- and to know Lucky, the man she admired most, made it all possible for her. The one man who would always stand by her.

So she had to ask. Even if she might hear no. She needed to ask because he was the one she wanted most to help her make her dream come true.

"I'm so honored," Lucky said. "Wow. Are you sure that I'm the one you want?"

She gave him a brilliant smile. "Very sure! This is all I think about." Letting her smile fade she grew serious. "I won't blame you if you say no and I won't expect anything from you if you say yes. But if you do say yes I will forever be grateful and proud to have our baby."

With a small smile on his lips he let out a short breath. "I guess I have a lot to think about."

She smiled a little and said "I guess you do."

XXXXXXXXXX

Two days later Emily was dressed in scrubs, getting ready to leave for work, when there was a knock on her front door. She went and looked through the peep hole. Her heart raced when she saw Lucky standing there.

Pulling the door open she saw him giving her a boyish smile, with his head titled to the side, and holding a huge, white stuffed teddy bear.

Lucky said "I'm glad I caught you before you left."

"Hey! Is that for...?"

"The baby, yep." He passed it to her.

She took the stuffed animal inside and set in on the couch. "Thanks! A little early since I'm not even pregnant but thank you. Its really big."

"It was a compromise. I wanted to buy out the whole store but the clerk talked me into just one big bear for right now."

She turned and looked at him, a hopeful gleam in her eye. "So did you think about what we talked about then?"

He nodded. "I thought a lot about it. First...do you still want this?"

"Definitely. But don't feel pressured to say yes."

"I would need to be fully involved."

"As much as you want, I promise."

"In that case, the answer is..." he smiled at her again "yes!"

She burst out into a happy grin and threw herself into his arms. "Oh my God, thank you, Lucky!"


	207. part three WLT

************

****************

Whole Life Through

Lucky and Emily

Part Three

March 2015

He held her in his arms as she cried softly. Emily had undergone her first attempt at in vitro and was so excited she rushed to take a pregnancy test just a week later. It came back negative.

She had asked Lucky to be there because she said she wanted to share their first memory of their baby together. She had been smiling from ear to ear when she checked the test, so sure it would say positive, and then her face fell when she saw that the results.

He promised her "We'll try again."

"I'm sorry I broke down. I knew it might not work on the first try. I just was so sure that it had. I guess I wanted it so bad I fooled myself." She sniffled.

"Shhh," he held her tighter in his arms. "All this means is our kid will be born in a month later, that's all. It will save on Christmas presents this year."

She chuckled a little and moved out of his embrace. Emily wiped at her tears. "I guess I didn't realize how much of an emotional roller coaster this would be. I was so focused on wanting to get pregnant that I didn't really let it sink in how much it would hurt if I can't."

"Hey, just because it didn't work this month doesn't mean you can't get pregnant. I already can picture you holding our child. Its gonna happen." He gave her a grin. "Okay? You trust me, right?"

She nodded. "So do you picture a boy or a girl?"

Lucky's grinned deepened. "Which do you want?"

"A girl would be nice."

"I think so too but a boy would be wonderful too. Don't worry about not being pregnant yet. It will happen when its meant to happen."

"So you don't think this is a sign that it's a mistake?"

"I don't feel that way. Do you?"

"I just know how bad I want this. I hope though I'm not dragging you along for more than you can handle because I can't lose your friendship. Lucky, you've seen me through most of my life. Twenty years-"

"Whoa. That makes me feel old as dirt. I think I need to sit down and rest my weary bones."

She chuckled. "We've been through so much together and I don't want this to be something that tears us apart instead of bringing us closer together. I just didn't realize how stressful this would all be. I thought I was prepared to handle anything but its so much."

"If you're overwhelmed maybe you should take a few months and then decide if you want to go through a second round of in vitro."

After a moment Emily said "No, I can handle it. Lets try again next month, okay?"

He gave her a sweet smile. "Sounds good to me."

The next month she wasn't pregnant. She took the test with Liz there and later told Lucky she did need a break from all the fertility treatments, and the up and downs of it all. By April it seemed like Emily might have started something that she couldn't finish.

XXXXXXXXXXX

July 2015

Emily held Caylee, Lulu's daughter, at her first birthday party. Every time Emily was around a baby now she felt a pang of emptiness inside because she didn't have a child of her own but she tried to smile and not let it show.

Lucky came over and kneeled down next to her. He played with his niece for a moment and then looked into Emily's eyes. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I think I'm ready to try again."

He gave her a tender smile. "Music to my ears."

Over the months Lucky had to deal with many emotions of his own. He had started to get excited and hopeful about becoming a dad again and then it was all in doubt when they stopped trying. He had to be strong and see Emily through it all without showing his own conflicting thoughts on everything. He didn't want to make her feel pressured to go ahead with in vitro again if it was too stressful and heartbreaking for her, and hard on her body too.

Looking in her eyes that day he knew that she had found the strength to move forward on their plan to become parents together. For so long he had tried to build himself the perfect family but finally he realized that family was something that was discovered in the most unexpected places. Just like Monica found Emily because of sharing her treatment for breast cancer at the same place that Emily's mom was a patient, and just like Lucky became Cameron and Jake's father unexpectedly when they weren't biologically his and Liz hadn't expected at first to share Cameron with Lucky. Now Lucky was finding a path to creating his first biological child, maybe his first little girl, and his third child either way, with his oldest friend.

It was something they both wanted with all their hearts now.

XXXXXX

September 2015

Lucky cut his date with Alison Barrington short so he could come over to Emily's house and be there when she listened to the message from her doctor, who would let her know if she was pregnant.

He had only been on a couple of dates with Alison but they had been in each other's orbits for months now. He finally decided to get it a shot with her but he still wasn't sure if it was going to work. His heart was very wary to jump back into the fray again.

After knocking on Emily's door she let him in.

She said "You look good. Big date, huh?"

He grinned. "Little date. Baby steps first."

"Speaking of babies..." she looked about to burst with happiness. "Sorry! I listened to it already!"

"And?" He smiled.

"We're pregnant!"

Lucky picked her up and spun her around then he gently set her down. "Sorry. You feel okay, don't you? I should have remembered about morning sickness and how it can last all day. I guess I just got carried away."

"No harm done. I feel fantastic."

He grinned. "Lets hope that lasts."

"I swear this is such an endorphin rush. I feel like superwoman right now. We created a life!"

"With a lot of help from some doctors but, yeah, we did and its amazing. God was on our side, Em."

She gave him a sweet kiss on his cheek. "Thank you so much, Lucky. Our baby means everything to me. You are the best for agreeing to have a child with me."

He gave her a tender look as his heart swelled.

XXXXXX

February 2016

Lucky walked off the elevator at General Hospital. Going up to the nurses station he spotted Robin and asked her if she could page Emily. They chatted while they waited for Emily to show up. He found out Emma was now taking ballet classes and showed real talent.

When Emily showed up Lucky handed her the fruit smoothie he had bought for her. He liked to dote on her, making sure she was staying healthy as she went through the pregnancy.

She gave him a sweet smile. "I am becoming addicted to these things, thanks to you. I hope you plan to be there working out with me when I need to drop all this extra weight after the baby is born."

He touched her stomach. "She's soaking in all the calories, trust me."

Emily laughed. "Sure she is! And that's why my butt is the size of the Grand Canyon."

"I haven't noticed that at all," he said, with a smirk.

"Sure you haven't," she said, smiling. They went over and sat down on the couch. "Listen to this, my grandfather did the cutest thing, at least for him. He gifted the baby some stock for Valentine's Day."

"That does sound like an Edward thing to do."

"He's excited about having another great-grandchild. Its cute that the baby got a Valentine gift though, isn't it? Just think that next year she'll be here and we can give dress her in a shirt with cupid on it and give her a cookie. Can a seven month old have cookies?"

"Yeah if they are really soft."

"I so need you around to help me out. I'm reading constantly but its not enough. There's so much to learn. Liz has been great though. She calms my fears when I get all irrational."

"It can feel overwhelming but you just need to remember to take it minute by minute. Sometimes day by day is even too big but minute by minute always works."

"I'm so glad we are doing this together." She had told him that many times before.

He gave her a sweet smile. "Me too."

Even though what he had suspected might happen already was starting to. The more he saw her grow heavy with his child, and the more they went through doctor's appointments and shopping trips for things for the baby's three nurseries (her house, his apartment and the mansion) together his feelings for her were ever deepening, to a place they hadn't been before in all the times he had thought himself in love with her.

It seemed that for Lucky Spencer when it came to Emily Quartermaine he could always fall just a little more in love. Being best friends was wonderful. Sharing a baby together a miracle.

He knew he shouldn't long for more. But this time was like the others and he couldn't help wondering...hoping...praying...she'd feel it too. Even if every time before she hadn't wanted forever with him when he offered it.

He never put it in words but all his actions said he loved being with her the best out of anyone he ever knew or loved or had in his arms. No matter if they stayed only friends, and his feelings receded again like they had before, that much would always be true.


	208. part four WLT

****************************

****

Whole Life Through

Lucky and Emily

Part 4

March 2015

Emily excitedly knocked on Lucky's door near midnight one night. When he opened it she had a big smile on her face but then she looked past him and saw Maxie sitting on his couch.

"OH!" she cried, something in her heart crashing down to the floor and making her feel like a moron. "I'm interrupting. I'm sorry. I'll just go."

"Em, wait, what's the matter? Why are you here so late?"

"It can wait," she muttered, just wanting to escape. Suddenly it was hitting her how very much she wished her and Lucky were a couple having this baby together but they were far from that. All their chances to go there had been lost years before and just because she was pregnant was no reason to think they would have one more chance now.

She hadn't even realized how much she wanted that till just this moment. When he had been dating Alison Barrington, even though it was never serious, Emily hadn't felt jealous and now all of the sudden she was consumed by it. The months going by had made her want more with Lucky and now it was clear he was involved with someone else.

As Emily tried to hurry away Maxie jumped up and cried "Hold on! This isn't what it looks like. I mean...it is because I was trying to seduce him but it isn't because he didn't go for it...yet..but I think he might have if you didn't show up...um...I am just going to stop talking now. Um, okay."

For being a high powered business woman Maxie still rambled when she was nervous. She was cutthroat in the boardroom but a mess in her personal life. She just couldn't seem to get it together when it came to being with a lover. So she always ended up, at least once every couple of years, back at Lucky's door looking for the feeling she had when he was her first crush and taking advantage of how he had a hard time turning her away ever.

"Maxie," Lucky said, in an unhappy grumble at what she had revealed, before shaking his head a little and letting out a heavy sigh. Then he turned to Emily and touched her arm. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Come on in and sit down."

"No, really, I need to go. I should have called first."

Maxie grabbed her purse. "Actually I need to get home. Early phone conference tommorow at the crack of dawn with Australia. You know how it is. Or you don't because you're a doctor but I'm sure you can imagine. Okay, bye!" She muttered a sorry to Lucky as she passed him and then slipped out the door, maneuvered around Emily and hurried down the hall.

Emily looked at Lucky. "Sorry."

"Don't be silly. Get in here. That was...just Maxie being Maxie. She needed to talk. Things hit the skids with Johnny. Trust issues, from what I could make out from what she said. It sounds like a real mess."

"Well she needed your shoulder then and I shouldn't have interrupted." Emily walked inside and opened her coat. "Its just that our daughter has been kicking all night and I was hoping she'd keep it up long enough for you to feel her."

Lucky put both his hands on Emily's stomach but the baby didn't kick. "Hey little girl, its Daddy here." Getting down on his knees he put his ear to her stomach. "I think she fell asleep."

"Sorry to have interrupted your night for nothing."

"Seeing you and our daughter is something." He stood back up. "If you're not too tired why don't you hang out for a little bit and maybe she'll kick again."

"Okay."

He helped her take off her coat. They went to the couch and sat down. He turned on the television. Emily fidgeted around, trying to get comfortable.

Lucky asked "Is your back hurting?"

"Just a twinge. I think I overdid it at work today."

"Here. Turn around."

"Lucky, you don't have to. You've done enough for me already."

"Shhhh." He eased her around and started to gently massage her back. "Like you haven't done a lot for me too? You're giving me a daughter, Em."

"Our daughter is your favor to me. I took advantage of our friendship."

His fingers stilled. "Do you really think that?" He titled her face so they were eye-to-eye. "After all we've been through together you could never ask for something that's too much from me. Just like I couldn't ask for too much from you. There isn't anything we wouldn't do for each other." His voice got hoarse. "I want to be everything you ever need and give you every dream that I can."

Searching her eyes for answers he slowly leaned forward and caught her mouth in a kiss. Every time they had ever kissed in the past they hadn't been ready for more but this time they both relaxed and sunk gratefully into the kiss. Soft and sweet it brimmed with emotion.

As they pulled apart their eyes were hazy with lust. A moment later Emily smiled, grabbed Lucky's hand and placed it on her stomach.

The baby had kicked.

Lucky smiled widely as he felt that. "I guess she's rooting for us."

"You were right. Having a baby together does make a lot of complicated emotions arise."

He stared into her eyes and said "I didn't kiss you just now cause you're pregnant. I kissed you because you're Emily. You're my best friend and I can't help," he grinned at her a little "having a crush on you. Sue me! Its out of my hands. I've gotten more crushes on you than I can count over the years."

She chuckled softly. "Do you ever wonder what if you didn't go back to Liz that last time? Or if I didn't go back to Nikolas the time before that?"

"I wonder, yeah, but the timing was off." He took her hand and intertwined their fingers. "Right now it feels like perfect timing though." His eyes searched hers. "How do you feel?"

"I used to be scared to be with you, in that way, but now I'm scared to never get the chance to be with you."

He murmured as he moved in for another kiss. "You'll get the chance. I'm right here. There's always another chance for us." His lips caught hers in a sensually intense kiss full of promises to take things slow but to be all she wanted him to be for her.

Emily felt her heart soar at the thought of Lucky wanting her again. They spent a long time kissing, caressing and chuckling happily at how they both wanted the same thing and they finally had the guts to admit that to each other. Their baby kicked often and they would stop to put their hands on Em's stomach and feel the baby.

Lucky leaned down and kissed her stomach. Emily ran her fingers through his hair. The whole evening had an aura of poignancy because they both had believed they had wasted their chances with each other when they were young and foolish but there was this chance left now. A chance neither wanted to let slip by.

(_There's some things we don't talk about _  
_rather do without_  
_and just hold the smile._  
_Falling in and out of love_  
_ashamed and proud of_  
_together all the while_

_-x-x-_

_You can never say never_  
_why we don't know when_  
_time and time again_  
_younger now than we were before_

_-x-x-_

_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_

_-x-x_

_Picture_

_you're the queen of everything_  
_as far as the eye can see_  
_under your command._

_I will be your guardian_  
_when all is crumbling_  
_steady your hand_

_-x-x-_

_You can never say never_  
_why we don't know when_  
_time, time and time again_  
_younger now then we were before_

_-x-x-_

_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_

_-x-x-_

_We're pulling apart and coming together again and again_  
_We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again_

_Don't let me go_  
_Don't let me go_

_Don't let me go) (Never Say Never by The Fray)_


	209. part five WLT

****************************************************************

****************************************************************

Whole Life Through

Lucky and Emily

Part 5

March 2015

The night they kissed Lucky walked Emily down to her car at just after three am so she could go home. "Call me the second you are inside your house so I know that my girls are safe."

She smiled sweetly. "Will do." After unlocking her car she turned to look in his eyes. "Lucky, I'm so happy that we both want to be togeth-"

He pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that echoed her sentiments. When he pulled back she whispered "Yeah, that's what I was trying to say."

He grinned. "I'm happy too." His hand rested on her stomach. "And she's happy that her parents have mutual crushes this time."

"Timing is everything."

"It sure is."

"You know," she said softly "the last time we were getting closer...like this...I did have real and genuine strong feelings for you but I didn't think they were big enough to justify you not trying to work things out with Liz. But don't think it was easy for me to let you go."

"That was all my fault. I should have woken up to the fact that it wasn't gonna work out with Liz and not given up on us so easily. I threw away that chance we had and, looking back now, I see I was a real idiot."

"No you weren't. You had to try and make your family work."

"I did a lot of stupid things back then. Getting involved with Maxie again. Going back to Liz when I knew better. Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment."

"Maybe you're just a romantic. Liz was your first love and you were Maxie's first love. That's very powerful stuff."

He cupped her face. "But you were my first crush," he murmured "and that's pretty powerful too." He gave her another gentle kiss before saying "You should get home now. Its chilly out here. Remember to call me please."

"I will." Emily gave Lucky a tight hug and then she slipped into her car and left.

He stood there and watched her drive away with a happy smile playing on his lips and his heart full of contentment.

XXXXXXXXX

They spent a few weeks casually dating. They would meet for dinners, movies, plays, and for shopping dates to buy things for the baby. By early April they were closer than ever and comfortable in their new relationship.

Lucky took Emily home one night. Standing on her porch he said "I'm surprised you are beat by now. Working all day and hanging out all night with me. You must be more than ready to crash."

She looked over her shoulder, after unlocking the door, and grinned at him. "No, not really." Turning around she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and yanked him close to her "Sleep is the last thing on my mind, actually," she whispered before bringing her lips to his.

Emily knew that Lucky was not about to initiate lovemaking because he didn't want to scare her off like had always happened every time for them back in the day. But when she was younger she had believed that she could only love Nikolas with a crazy passion and Lucky needed to be the guy she trusted with every other part of herself. Now she wanted Lucky to know all of her and her to know all of him.

She was finally brave enough and mature enough and strong enough to be his woman.

They made their way inside, their lips never leaving each other's, and he pushed the door closed. Emily slid off Lucky's leather jacket. He helped her out of her own coat. Moving his lips to her neck he lay kisses all the way up to her earlobe and then tugged it between his teeth.

Emily moaned and arched against Lucky. Caressing his face she whispered against his ear "I want to be with you so bad, Lucky."

He gave her a heated look and then took her hand, leading her up the stairs to her bedroom, where they slowly undressed each other, while sharing tender kisses. When she was completely nude, and sitting on the edge of the bed, he knelt in front of her and caressed up and down her arms, over her stomach and thighs.

"You're beautiful in every way," he told her. "Our baby only makes you more beautiful in my eyes."

Lucky bent to kiss her stomach and then kissed up to her breasts, teasing them with gentle licks at first before sucking on them deeply. He took his time making love to her, cherishing the act with all of his soul, and when he thrust deep inside of her he felt something inside of him- that part that believed they would fall apart because everything always falls apart- crumble into a hot, perfect healing warmth.

Afterwards she rested her head against his chest while he held her tenderly in his arms. "Em...thank you for choosing me to be the father of your baby and thanks for choosing to be my friend all those years ago and never giving up on me."

She kissed his chest. "I'd have to be a fool to give up on you. You're the one who comes and saves my life over and over every time I don't think I can survive. I know I asked for a lot when I asked you to have a kid with me but," she looked up at him "it felt so right to think of us as parents together and it still does."

His hand caressed her stomach. "Whatever happens I will always be here for you both."

She smiled sweetly. "I'm counting on that," and then she moved up the bed and caught his lips in another kiss.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

May 2015

Lucky had a family dinner at his home for Ethan's birthday. His father took the opportunity to tell old stories of his adventures and try to insinuate that Lucky should want to live the same kind of lifestyle, rather than being surrounded by kids and tied down to a steady job and now a woman who he would never up and just leave.

It didn't bother Lucky any because he had Emily's hand to hold the whole night. With his kids there too, his sister and his niece there and both happy, and his mother and grandmother healthy, there was nothing that could bring Lucky down.

Liz, Nikolas, Spencer, Lucas and his husband, Bobbie, Noah Drake (who had retired and was dating Bobbie) and Ethan's girlfriend, Leyla Mir, rounded out the guest list.

After dinner they had cake and the conversation turned to baby names. Everyone had one to throw in as a suggestion.

Ethan came up with "Lola because I once knew quite the dame named that. Unforgettable she was, I tell you."

Bobbie wanted them to go with "Josephine and then call her Joey," much like Felicia had named her girls feminine versions of male names.

Lucas husband, who he had been with since college, said "I've always like the name Ella."

Luke thought that sounded great because of Ella Fitzgerald.

Lucky said "Actually we already have a name all picked out." He smiled at Emily.

Emily said "We want to name her Laura."

Laura was touched but told them they didn't have to honor her that way.

"We want to, Mom," Lucky assured her. "We haven't considered any other names. She's Laura already."

Lulu said "I think that sounds perfect."

The rest of the night passed in laughing and joking before Ethan said he and Leyla had to blow this popsicle stand for a rowdy night on the town. He roughhoused for a moment with Cam and Jake, now tall and lanky boys, before hugging Lesley, Bobbie and Laura and then leaving.

Lucky felt the warmth in his chest that only came when he was surrounded by the love of his family and friends. For Luke a life like this was prison but for Lucky it was all he ever had dreamed about calling his own. And this time it felt like a perfect fit.

XXXXXXXXXX

Late June 2015

Laura was born during a summer storm. There were hurricane force winds knocking over power lines and tearing off roofs. She came damn close to being born on the side of the road when the bridge was washed out. But Lucky was able to find another route, even though it took much longer, and they made it to the hospital in time to have a proper, sterile birth.

She came much quicker than they expected. Luckily she was perfectly healthy and Emily made it through the labor just fine.

A few minutes after the birth was over, once Laura was checked by the doctors, she was wrapped in a blanket and brought to Emily. Holding her daughter in her arms, tears ran down Emily's face.

"Look at her," Em said to Lucky "she's so beautiful."

He was in awe. His baby. His daughter. She was finally here. And she was in Emily's arms, a woman he could trust with all his heart and soul.

With tears in his eyes he said "She's just as beautiful as her mother." And then he kissed Emily's sweat slicked forehead and sent a silent prayer up to God that he never lost her love because this time he was sure he was with the woman who he wanted for all the rest of his life.

When he met Emily he never thought she'd turn out to be who he dreamed of marrying, who he had a kid with, and who he would kill anyone who tried to hurt her. But she had turned into all that and more.

From humble beginnings came the most profound connection to another human being he had known in all his life. She trusted him implicitly and he believed in her with all he had. There was no fear left in them now.

Love left no room for fear of being left behind. Instead they would worry over, dote on and cherish their baby girl, and continue to raise Jake and Cam with Liz. They would put their hearts into their family instead of letting their hearts break over and over because they squandered their love away on the wrong person.

Just looking at baby in Emily's arms Lucky knew she was proof that all the love he needed was right in front of his eyes.

"I love you both so very much," he said, his voice hoarse.

She gave him a teary smile and whispered "I love you too. And I know Laura already loves her Daddy, don't you, sweetheart?"

She let out a wail that they took to mean yes.

THE END


	210. You Touched My Heart, Ethina, 1

**This will be four parts.**

**You Touched My Heart**

**Part One**

Kristina Corinthos Davis with a plan was a dangerous thing indeed. No good usually could ever come from one of her schemes.

Already she was having second thoughts about going through with this.

She felt bad about what she intended to do to him. Felt like it was wrong on some levels. She already had guilt about it, as she prepared to put her plan in motion, but she wasn't backing down now.

It would be easier to ask forgiveness than permission. She needed this. What had happened the other night had showed her that. She needed to know what was the truth.

Still looking into Ethan's eyes, that were lit up with gentle grace and happiness from the moment she had walked into the Quatermaine living room, made her feel like somehow she was about to take advantage of him for her own selfish needs. But that was thing: she needed this desperately.

And he was the only one who could help her now.

XXXXXXXXXXX

With a chuckle, at something she had said, Ethan told Kristina "Luv, you always brighten my day. Thanks for stopping by to visit me while I'm stuck out of commission. Though I feel pretty damn good for a recently almost dead man."

"Do you ever think that your life would be better if you never met me?"

He went to protest but she kept talking "Sorry! How can you answer that? Its not like you would say yes, to my face, even if it is true. I've really made things tough on you so many times. First my silly crush, then my lies and now you could have died because of Mr. Bauer coming after me. I'm sorry for all the hassles, Ethan. Are you sick of forgiving me yet?"

"Not even close." He touched her leg. "Hey, stuff happens, right? Its just life."

"So even if I keep bringing you grief you'll keep forgiving me?"

"Got some grief you want to bring me next already in mind?" he teased her, his voice dropping into a low, intimate murmur he didn't intend but it was just natural to be at ease with her.

Her eyes searched his for a moment and he became nervous he had spooked her by being too flirty, something he never intended to do. He cleared his throat and leaned back but she moved forward. Before Ethan had time to register what Kristina had in mind her lips were pressed against his.

Shock made his body tighten up and go completely still. He couldn't believe that she was kissing him- right here in his stepmother's living room in the middle of the day. This kiss was coming out of nowhere. It left his head trying to catch up with what she could be thinking.

A few seconds later, just as he was getting used to the warmth of her soft, plump lips against his, she started to pull back. Acting on instinct- needing to keep her warmth against him for just a moment longer, long enough to truly enjoy this only kiss they may ever have, to make the consequences worth the act, to give her a kiss she could remember him by- Ethan wrapped his arms around Kristina and pressed her tight against him.

Taking over the kiss, he whispered against her lips, "Baby," and then gave her soft, sweet, short kisses that were gentle enough to not scare her with the intensity that lust could bring into a situation. That wild, out of control, torrent that could take over a man. Could take over him right this second if he wasn't careful.

But he'd always be careful with her.

The idea to give her just one more kiss- one worth remembering always- faded into the back of his subconscious as he got caught up in kissing her. Her hands caressed his face. Her body trembled in his arms. As she kissed him back, he could feel how she was laying her heart wide open in that moment. Ethan could sense the trust that Kristina had in him.

It was an enormous responsibility and gift.

He couldn't say how long went by before they both jerked back quickly, after hearing Edward bellowing in the foyer, "ALICE! Where are my reading glasses? I know I left them right on this end table! How many times do I have to tell the staff to not move my glasses! ALICE!"

Ethan panted breathlessly as his eyes locked on Kristina's eyes, which were wide with nervousness but also dark with desire. Her fingers brushed her bottom lip as a look of awe crept over her face.

Using his thumb he wiped at the corner of her mouth. The back of his hand grazed hers, that was still touching her lips, before they both lowered their hands.

"Wow, luv, I don't know what to say right now."

"I'm sorry!"

His eyes fell for a moment. Then he scooted closer to her. Looking up again he said "Don't be sorry. I just thought we...uh...had this settled. Right?"

In that moment he didn't know if he was coming or going.

Yeah, he knew what he was supposed to do and say. Be the adult. Give her a speech and send her home to her Mom. But, God help him, that was the last thing he wanted to do right then. He'd like to get her alone and spend a few hours teaching her about kissing until all she could remember was how he kissed- and not how any other guy had ever kissed her.

"Right," Kristina said, her voice an octave higher out of nerves. "Its just that-"

Right then Maya came walking in. Bright and cheery, she gave them both a big smile. "Hi! I'm not interrupting, am I?"

Ethan scooted back. He cleared his throat. "Good day at work?"

"Better than yesterday but that's not saying much. Sometimes I think I am so in over my head and soon Zoey will be living here and I'll be even more stressed. I guess all I can do is take it day by day, right?"

"Exactly, darlin," Ethan said to Maya.

Kristina jumped up and grabbed her purse. "I should go."

Ethan stood up and touched her arm. "You don't gotta run off. I thought we were gonna play cards?"

"Next time! I have some stuff to do right now. Homework...with Molly...at the library," she babbled, obviously lying, before giving Maya a very guilty look and heading for the door. "Later. Hope you feel better soon, Ethan. And, again, I'm sorry."

His eyes stayed on her till she was out of his sight.

Maya said "She's a nice kid."

Ethan ran his hand over his head. Kid?

Kissing her didn't feel like kissing a little girl. He swallowed hard and tried to hold up his end of the conversation with Maya but ended up making distracted noises then fleeing to take a walk a few minutes later. He needed some air, badly, and he needed to think.

There was no doubt what he should do about what just happened with Kristina. Reiterate they were not right for each other, because of the age difference, and then keep his distance for a while till her crush faded away. It was so obvious what he should do that it was flashing like a big neon sign in his head: Run! Run! Run!

So why was he doubting his instincts? Or was that really just his fear talking? How could a girl in high school scare him?

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Dante pulled open his door, after hearing loud knocking on it, and was surprised to find his sister there. "Hey!" He gave her a big smile.

"Is Michael here?"

"No. Sorry. He's at therapy."

Her face fell.

Dante said "You can come on in and wait for him. He should be home in twenty minutes or so."

Looking frazzled, she came inside. "I really need to talk to him. I did something stupid."

"You can talk to me, if you want, till he gets here. I know I'm not your big brother than you've known all your life but I'm still your big brother too. Go ahead. Hit me with it. I bet it wasn't that stupid at all."

"I kissed Ethan!"

Dante raised his eyebrow. "Uh...oh, I see."

"You think it was stupid, don't you? Everyone has told me to get over my feelings for him and I tried to. I thought I was. But if I was then today totally ruined that and put me back at square one! I knew it was a bad idea but I did it anyway. Why do I always come up with the craziest plans that just make my life worse? What's wrong with me, Dante?"

"Hey, nothing is wrong with you. You kissed a guy. It happens. Kisses that come out of nowhere happen and its not worth throwing yourself off a building over. Here, come on, have a seat and relax. You want a drink?"

"Water, please."

Dante went to get it.

Kristina looked toward his kitchen area. "I'm sure Ethan hates me now and thinks I'm such a little girl for kissing him, even though he kissed me back but that's just hormones, I'm sure."

"He kissed you back?"

"Don't get mad at him! I initiated everything!"

"Okay, okay. I'm just a little worried cause you're in high school and he's so not."

"That's what he says too but I can't help how I feel. He's the only guy that I want to let touch me now. I flinch if any guy who is not in my family gets close to me. But with Ethan its different. I feel safe. That's why I had to kiss him. You see my study partner, Taylor, he tried to kiss me last week and I jumped away before he could. I felt so dumb. He's a good guy and I'd date him if not for being so nervous of guys since what happened with Keifer...except I have never once felt that way with Ethan...and I wanted to test if that was still true...so I went to where he is staying and I jumped his bones!"

Dante's eyes got wide. He brought her back the water. "All that happened was one kiss, right?"

Kristina hesitated.

Dante leaned closer. "Tell me everything that happened and don't give me too many details."

"Like what? My hands were here and his were there? I'm not a little kid! I didn't get taken advantage of! I told you that I kissed him first."

"All right, I hear ya. Its just that you're pretty upset about this so its clear it was a bad idea and something that shouldn't go down again. You get that, don't ya?"

"Ethan won't want to kiss me again so don't worry about it."


	211. You Touched My Heart, Ethina 2

****

You Touched My Heart

Ethan and Kristina, canon

Part Two

September 2010

Ethan Lovett was not a very happy man lately. He was stuck living at the Quatermaine mansion, to appease his step mother, and he was stuck barely being able to work because the Haunted Star was closed down and Johnny was in the hospital. Ethan had way too much time on his hands which was not a good thing.

All too often he found his thoughts drifting back to kissing Kristina two weeks earlier. The feel of her soft lips against his, the smell of her sweet perfume filling his nose, the feel of her trembling body being held in his arms. She started that kiss but he took it farther and farther, yet not far enough to satisfy him.

Yet he knew he shouldn't get mixed up with dating a girl still in high school living at home with her folks. She needed time to grow up and time to heal. He needed to back off and give her space. Thinking of all the things he had done in his life before coming to Port Charles, things he was ashamed of now, he knew that he was leagues ahead of Kristina as far as life experiences went.

He couldn't be her sweet first love.

She deserved better than him. Some prep school guy who had a bright future, who was college bound, who was shy and kind and innocent. That's who she should have in her life. She didn't need any man in her bed right now. She should date some virgin. Ethan was sure that was what Kristina truly needed in order to feel safe in her next relationship.

Not that knowing the reality of their situation made him want to kiss her any less. Now that he knew just how good it felt it only added to his feelings for her. From the start he recognized their instant chemistry, then he reveled in their bond and friendship, even keeping it going after they hit very hard and desperate times that should have made him walk away from her for good. But when they hung out they both had a good time. He felt comfortable, happy, relaxed with just that slight fizzle of awareness in his gut that said she was a beautiful girl and not just some bloke that was his buddy. That fact couldn't be lost on him for a second. He wasn't blind, after all.

Yeah, it was no secret to anyone who knew him that he wanted Kristina and only her age held him back. It was more than obvious after all that went down. He made time for her when they were in different worlds and it would have been easy to stay out of her life.

These last two weeks he had. No phone calls, texts, e-mails or hanging out. The only time he heard her name was when Johnny said she had stopped by to visit Johnny at General Hospital.

Ethan knew it was the smart thing to do to stay away from Kristina. He had kissed Maya before Kristina kissed him. And then Maya kissed Ethan again after Kristina kissed him. But that second kiss with Maya lacked any fire...and Ethan had been desperately avoiding a third.

Just cause Maya didn't make his blood race anymore didn't mean he had to go chase down Kristina. She just wasn't old enough to be his woman.

He had to get her out of his head. Had to forget their kiss. But he had a feeling pigs would fly before that ever happened.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Kristina was sitting at a table in Kelly's with Taylor when Ethan walked in. She noticed him right away and shifted uncomfortably in her seat, sure he would ignore him.

After pausing for a moment at the door, their eyes locked on each other, Ethan walked over. Giving her a soft smile he said "Hey, studying hard, huh?"

On the table were books open to the lesson that Kristina and Taylor were working on.

"Yep," Kristina said "Ethan, this is my study partner, Taylor. Taylor this is Ethan...uh, a friend of the family."

Ethan gave her a teasing look of her description of how they knew each other before he tore his eyes off her and looked at Taylor. "Good to meet you, mate."

"You too."

"I should let you two get back to studying."

Taylor said "Yeah, I still need plenty more but thanks to Kristina's help I should get at least a passing grade on this history test. And then, to thank her, I'm gonna take her to Homecoming. She's been a lifesaver since I just moved to town and don't really know a lot of people."

Kristina watched as Ethan's eyes darkened with some unknown emotion for a quick moment and then he cleared his throat and said "I'll get out of your two's hair," as he motioned toward the counter.

Ethan walked over and ordered coffee, then sat at the counter and drank it. Eventually Taylor went home. Kristina walked over to Ethan.

"Hi," she said, shyly, from behind him.

He slowly turned around.

She added "I'm sorry again about the kiss."

"No apologies necessary, truly. It was just one of those things, huh? A moment that got away from us. Won't happen again."

"Right!"

"Anyway, your friend seems like a good guy...Homecoming? What's that exactly?"

"It's a dance. Its lame but I said I'd go. I need to, you know, try to be normal."

"You don't need to try and be anything. You're perfect the way you are, luv."

She couldn't help but smile brightly at hearing that. "You're lying but thanks for saying that. And thank you for understanding about the kiss."

"It can't happen again." Because if it does he won't be able to stop at just kisses and he won't be able to stay away from her. "You get that, right?"

She fidgeted around. "Sure. I know you don't see me that way."

He looked down. "Its not you. Its us. We're just...in two different worlds." He looked up again. "That guy...Taylor...he seemed like a nice bloke."

"He's really great. I could see myself falling for him one day."

"See? I'm easily replaceable."

"I wouldn't say that but I also won't throw myself on you again. Promise."

He swallowed hard. Smiling he teased her "So getting off the subject of how I shouldn't expect any more smoking hot sexy kisses from you...how have you been otherwise lately? I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever."

"I didn't want to bug you. I thought you might be mad at me."

"To show you how much I'm not mad at you," he patted the stool next to him "hop up here and lets share a banana split. I have an awful sweet tooth. What about you?"

She smiled sweetly and sat down. They shared a tender look. Soon they had ordered the ice cream and were chatting about random subjects while they ate. Kristina had spent two weeks sure that Ethan was done with even trying to be her friend, since she couldn't get over her crush on him, but now they had easily fallen into their friendship again and it felt like their was no tension between them at all.

It was so easy to be around him. And so hard to not miss him when he went away.

XXXXXXXXX

Ethan felt somewhat better after things got back to normal with Kristina. He'd often get texts from her that made him smile and email jokes that made him laugh. It was small but kept them connected. They would get together to chat at least twice a week.

Another two weeks went by and then at the end of September he happened to walk onto the docks, standing at the top of the stairs, when he saw Taylor and Kristina sitting on the bench. Taylor leaned over and gave her a sweet, chaste kiss.

Ethan froze. His eyebrows furrowed. Yeah, he knew that kissing Kristina had made him push away Maya. He knew their kiss affected him but he had been sure he could let it go. Sure he would be fine with Kristina moving on to a guy more her age.

Standing there he realized he had been lying to himself. Turning to walk away his jaw was tight and his lips were curled in disgust. It felt so wrong to know the lips that had made his heart soar were now doing that for some other bloke.

Ethan Lovett was getting just want he had swore he wanted but it wasn't what he wanted at all anymore. No one would want to feel this red hot jealousy churning through their gut, this empty and lonely feeling inside his heart. Only a crazy man would say this is how he wanted to end up.

Somewhere along the line what Ethan was sure was so right had turned into what felt all wrong.


	212. You Touched My Heart, Ethina, 3

************

****************

You Touched My Heart

Ethan and Kristina, canon

Part Three

September 2010

Ethan headed over to Kristina's house around four pm the day after he saw her kissing Taylor on the docks. He had a long night of drinking, thinking, complaining to Lucky and trying to convince himself he was perfectly cool with Kristina kissing anyone she wanted.

But all day long, as he had a splitting headache from his hangover, he still couldn't stop being pissed over it. And wondering if her and Taylor would sleep together soon.

These thoughts in his mind pushed him to drive out to the lake house and knock on the door.

When she opened it she smiled at him. "Hey!"

"Are we alone?" he whispered to her, his voice hoarse.

"Yeah."

As soon as the word was out of her mouth his hands fisted in her brown hair. He heard her breath catch. Titling her head up he leaned down some and watched her eyes, looking for permission. When her eyes drifted shut Ethan closed the gap and brought his mouth down on hers.

One soft, filled with longing and promises, kiss and then he let his lust take over. Letting out a low growl he slipped his tongue along her lips and urged her to open her mouth. When she did he thrust his tongue inside, slated his mouth over hers and deepened the kiss until he felt her body melt against him, her knees seeming to go weak.

Wrapping her in his arms he lifted her right off her feet. She put her arms around his neck and they kept kissing as he walked forward, not even bothering to close the door, and took them to the couch.

Ethan sat down, shifted so that one of his long legs was on the couch and one foot was on the floor still, lay back and pulled Kristina on top of him, because he worried about her feeling trapped under a man. She needed to feel in control right now.

Their lips broke apart only long enough to gulp down a ragged breath before joining again. Kristina kissed him with all her passion and pent up frustration from a year of being pushed away and kept in the strictly friends category. Ethan still thought that had been smart but in this moment he could care less anymore about what was smart.

All he knew was he damn sure wanted her to stop kissing Taylor, dating Taylor and wanting Taylor. Ethan wanted to be the only guy Kristina would let touch her.

Touching her gently his hands roamed up and down her back. She broke away from his mouth, breathing heavily, with her hands still holding his face. Her eyes glittered with lust as they stared into Ethan's eyes.

Lips quivering she whispered to him "I don't understand."

"I'm sick of fighting this. Its too damn exhausting."

Tentatively, she leaned in and caught his lips in a kiss. He held back and let her control the pace. Sweetly they kissed each other for long minutes. When she started to pull away he moaned in protest.

"Ethan?"

"What, luv?"

She moved off him and sat up, running her hands through her hair and then fixing her clothes. Groaning he sat up and put both feet on the floor. Pushing his hands along his thighs on his jeans he adjusted them.

Kristina said "We shouldn't be making out. I'm dating Taylor."

"Right. The nice bloke from your school." Ethan turned his head to look into Kristina's eyes. "Is it really that serious?"

"I don't know. I mean...no...its not that serious but..."

Cupping her face he leaned close to her and murmured "Lets not let anything stand in our way this time." Then his lips pressed against hers again.

As they kissed softly he felt her small fingers clutching the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to her. Breaking apart a moment later he rested his forehead against hers.

"Mmmm," Ethan murmured "I'm starting to feel just a tad bit closer to sane again."

She moved back, eyes going wide with questions. "Have I been making you feel crazy?"

"Not you so much as me. Its been all my fault for the state I've been in. I felt it...I felt it when you first kissed me...It wasn't gonna be something I could get over easy but I wouldn't face it."

Kristina's eyes searched Ethan's. "I kissed you that day not because I had a crush on you but because I didn't like anyone touching me...but you. Taylor had tried to kiss me but I jumped away from him before he could. I wanted to know if I could kiss someone and like it again. And I did with you...but now I have kissed Taylor. Just yesterday for the first time."

Ethan looked down for a moment. "On the docks, right?"

"You were there? Wow, I'm so embarrassed. I must have looked like such a child in your eyes. It wasn't even a good kiss...not like kissing you at all."

He gave her a small grin. "I didn't stick around to wait and see if it turned hot and heavy. I couldn't take...seeing him touching you like that."

"I didn't know you had feelings for me. So does this mean you aren't sleeping with Maya anymore?"

"It never got that serious. That's all over now anyway." Ethan placed his hand on Kristina's knee. His voice dropped low when he said "Hey, I wouldn't be here kissing you if I was involved with someone else. And I know I should back off cause you have a boyfriend but...call me a thief...its in my blood...I just don't wanna sit back and watch you fall in love with that guy."

Kristina looked at Ethan nervously and nibbled her bottom lip.

Ethan eased away from her. "If I'm making you uncomfortable I'll go."

"No!...I don't want you to go. I've never been kissed before like you kissed me tonight. I really liked it."

"You have a lot to think about. Just know that I'm not pressuring you. I won't be pissed off at you if you wanna keep dating that kid from your school." Reaching out he gently brushed some strands of hair behind her ear and she relaxed again. Ethan added "I want nothing more in all the world, not even to be the richest guy on the planet, more than I want to be with you. I've spent so long telling myself to keep you at arms's lengths but its starting to really drive me up a wall so...hell with that." He grinned at her. "I'll keep you at whatever length you decide."

Standing up, Ethan then said "I should go."

Kristina jumped up. "No! Don't go already!"

He gave he a raised eyebrow look.

"There's something I want to do with you. Wait right here."

He watched her leave the room, with a small grin tugging on his lips. When she came back she had this microphone. Using the TV to play the lyrics to the song they then proceeded to have their own Karaoke night in her living room.

Eventually Alexis and Molly came home and got a good laugh out of seeing Ethan singing "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake, which Kristina had insisted on and then laughed her head off as he danced around while singing it.

XXXXXXXXX

The next day Kristina sent Ethan a text asking him to meet her at Kelly's. She was waiting at the table outside for him when he walked up. She stood up and smiled at him. "Thanks for coming right over."

"Don't have much going on these days so it was no imposition. Hopefully Luke will get back in town soon so I can get back to work."

"Now that you're feeling better, thankfully."

"Much better now. Good as new." He flashed her a smile. Touching her arm he asked "Would you like to go in and get some dinner?"

"I have to meet Taylor to study in a half hour."

Ethan nodded.

Kristina motioned at the nearby table. "Wanna sit?"

"Sure, luv."

They both sat down.

Kristina looked a little nervous. Ethan sat back in his chair in a feigned relax stance.

She said "Don't be mad but I don't wanna break up with Taylor before the dance. Its in just a few days and I just don't wanna hurt him like that. He's been nice to me."

"Its all right." He gave her a reassuring smile, even if he hated the idea of her still dating that guy. "I get it. You'll break up with him when you feel ready."

"Are you sure you're okay with this? I don't wanna mess us up when we finally are getting somewhere...aren't we?"

"I guess that's the million dollar question, luv, and only you got the answer."

"You haven't changed your mind yet, have you?"

He leaned over the table and gave her a flirty look. "Not a chance in hell of that happening."

She smiled at him. The sweetness in her brown eyes made his heart soar. He hated the idea of her going to that dance with Taylor but Ethan wouldn't be a controlling jerk and fight with her over it. If she wanted him she'd end it with that other guy. He would just have to wait for her.

************************


	213. You Touched My Heart, Ethina, 4

**You Touched My Heart**

**Ethan and Kristina, canon**

**Part Four**

**September 2010**

Ethan got a text from Kristina asking if she could come over at around ten thirty on Saturday night. He told her that he'd meet her on the veranda.

When she walked up he saw that she had on the dress she wore to Homecoming. Looking stunning and more grown up than ever he lost his breath at the sight at her. "Called it an early night with your other bloke, did ya?"

"I told Taylor that I had a headache. It didn't feel right dancing with him...being held by him. Would you think it was totally lame if I said I want to dance with you tonight?"

"Totally lame," he joked.

Kristina laughed.

Ethan smiled at her. "Wait right here one second, luv." He darted inside and turned on some music. It drifted through the open french doors. He walked back out and held out his hand to Kristina.

She smiled sweetly as she took his hand and moved into his arms.

_(You touched these tired eyes of mine_

_and mapped my face out_

_line by line_

_and somehow growing old feels fine._

_I listen close_

_for I'm not smart._

_You wrap thoughts in works of art_

_and they're hanging on the walls of my heart._

_I may not have the softest touch._

_I may not say the words as such._

_And though I may not look like much_

_I'm yours_) (The Script)

As they moved to the music, her head rested against his chest until she looked up and into his eyes. He gave her a tender smile and mouthed "Baby."

Bringing her hand up to hold her cheek she stretched her head up and he dipped his. Their lips met in a kiss filled with fierce possessiveness on both their parts.

_(And though my edges may be rough._

_I never feel I'm quite enough._

_Though I may not look like much_

_I'm yours._

_You healed my scars over time._

_You embraced my soul._

_You loved my mind._

_You're the only angel in my life._

_The day news came_

_my best friend died_

_my knees went weak and you saw me cry._

_Say I'm still the solider in your life_.)

They were interrupted by Tracy walking up and saying "What in the world is going on here?"

Breaking apart they turned and faced her.

"Evening, Tracy," Ethan said in a slow drawl. "How is life treating you today?"

"Its not me that is in question right now. Its you and this trollop. What could you be thinking? Do you want her father to break your kneecaps or maybe all your fingers so they can't touch his precious little offspring? Perhaps he'll do both or even worse? Send her home."

"Mrs. Spencer," Kristina started.

"Its Quatermaine! I'm nobody's wife."

"Ma'am, I know my Dad gave Ethan a hard time before but I'm legal now and-"

"I don't care if you're a 105. As long as Sonny is alive you will be his little girl and he'll kill any man he thinks has hurt you. That man is not going to be Ethan so run along."

Ethan told Tracy "With all due respect this isn't your call," and then he took Kristina's hand.

Tracy gave him a narrowed eyed look and then pointed at him. "Don't be a fool." She stormed back inside the house, closing the door, and turned off the music.

Ethan smirked at Kristina. "Guess our dance is officially done."

She smiled sweetly at him. "It was nice while it lasted."

"I know something else that could be nice while it lasts. That is if you trust me?"

"You're the person I trust most outside of my family."

Smiling he scooped her off her feet and she cried out it surprise. "Kick those heels off. You won't need them where we're going."

Kristina did as he asked. Ethan carried her down by the lake. He set her down. Then he took off his shirt, but he had a white t-shirt on underneath, and set it down so she didn't have to sit on the grass.

They stayed their for an hour talking and kissing until Kristina said "I have a midnight curfew. I better go."

After standing up Ethan told her "You can't walk in bare feet out here so climb on."

"Really?"

"All aboard."

Giggling she got on his back and he gave her a piggy back ride to the veranda. She put on her heels. Holding hands they walked to her car. Kristina said "I'm going to tell Taylor its over really soon. I promise."

He gave her a boyish smile with a soft, tender look in his eyes. "Well now that you've promised I'll consider it as good as done."

"Thank you for giving me a few days to let him down easy. Taylor has been kind to me. He's a nice guy and I hate that I led him on when I knew my feelings for him weren't very strong."

"Live and learn, darlin. We all make mistakes when it comes to matters of the heart."

"We're not a mistake," she said, in a very firm tone.

He leaned close and brushed his lips against his, while whispering, "Wouldn't stop me now even if we were," and then they shared a long kiss before she got in her car and went home for the night.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The next evening Kristina had Taylor over. She wanted to work up the nerve to break up with him but before she could Alexis invited Taylor to stay for dinner. There was no chance for Kristina to talk to him alone.

After Taylor went home Alexis said "He seems like such a fine young man. I'm glad that things are working out for you two."

"They aren't. I'm going to dump him tommorow after school."

"Why? What happened? You two seemed to be getting along so well this evening."

"He's great but I don't like him enough to date him."

"Is that all it is? He didn't do anything to upset you, did he? You need to tell me the truth this time."

"Mom! Taylor is great, like I already said. I just don't like him like that, okay? I think I should know if I like him still and I don't, okay?" Kristina stormed off.

Alexis muttered, dragging the word out, "Okay."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Ethan was hanging out at Johnny's apartment when his cell rang with Kristina's ring tone. "I gotta take this." Ethan walked out to the balcony and answered his phone. "Baby, hey!"

He could tell she was smiling when she said "I just wanted to let you know that I just got done telling Taylor its over."

"Well, that is the best news I've heard all day. How did he take it? He didn't get loud with you, did he?"

"He's not like that. He was hurt but he accepted it and left without fighting with me. I didn't tell him about us. Just that I wasn't feeling for him what I should for us to keep dating."

"So you're a single woman right now, huh?"

"Sorta, I guess."

"Wanna go out to dinner tonight and become a taken woman again?"

"Yeah," she said happily.

"How does me picking you up at seven sound?"

"I'll just meet you there cause I don't want my Mom giving me a lecture about jumping from guy to guy. I'm sure she'll think that's a very bad idea."

"I love bad ideas. Those are my favorite ideas ever."

She laughed.

XXXXXXXXXX

They met at a small quiet restaurant in Rochester. Ethan got there first and when he saw Kristina being led over to the table he stood up. He pulled out her chair, helped her take off her coat, and brushed a kiss to her forehead before she sat down.

Once he was seated her reached out and took her hand. His dark eyes held hers as they sat there. "Thank you for joining me for dinner." He looked down, smiling shyly, and then looked back up. Laughing softly, to break the tension he said, "So I guess we're really doing this, huh?"

She smiled sweetly. "I guess we are. Now that you have a crush on me back finally."

He chuckled. "I always had a little bit of a crush on you but I just thought you needed a boy. And I haven't been one of those in a really long while now. Even when I was a your age I was already raising hell."

"So what changed your mind about us? Just cause you got jealous over me kissing Taylor? You weren't jealous over Keifer."

"Once you kissed me, luv, the whole ball game changed."

"So if I didn't kiss you then we wouldn't be here right now?"

"Funny how things work out, huh? You kissed me to prove a point to yourself and you proved a major one to me at the same time."

She squeezed his hand. He gave her a tender look.

Kristina said "I always was majorly nervous and on edge around Taylor. I did like him some but I was always wondering if he'd try to touch me, even in a friendly way, or kiss me or something...I don't feel like that with you."

"Well that's good to hear cause I would hate it if you did but I would understand why. You've been to hell and back. When you're around me I want you to know that things will happen on your terms and timetable. I rarely let someone else call the shots in my life but when it comes to us you get to hold the reins."

She gave him a sexy look. "I'm not afraid of not wanting us to be together...in every way...I'm more afraid of wanting it too much too soon."

He grinned at her. "Maybe I better take back what I just said then. Who would have thunk I'd be the one with more self control out of the two of us?"

"I would. Its always been that way."

He chuckled and smirked at her. "Me not going for instant gratification has got to be a sign of the apocalypse."

The waitress came and took their drink orders. They opened their menus and started to decide what to have for dinner. Over an hour later they left they restaurant hand in hand. Outside they hugged and kissed. Ethan led her to his car, opened the door and took out a lilac colored rose he got out of the Quatermaine rose garden.

"A beautiful flower for a beautiful woman," he said, in a dramatic way as he bent at the waist while presenting it to her.

Then he pulled her close and gave her a very gentle kiss. Afterwards he caressed her face and they started into each other eyes: both believing that what they could have together was worth anything they had to go through in order to have this chance to belong to each other.

(_I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
And though I may not look like much  
I'm yours _

_And though my edges may be rough And never feel I'm quite enough  
It may not seem like very much  
But I'm yours_) (The Script)

I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
I know I don't fit in that much  
But I'm yours

THE END


End file.
